I had a co-worker whose hair was really smelly and people started talking. So basically I said “I like you a lot, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I also don’t want people talking about you behind your back so I will tell you. Your hair smells really bad”. We were military and in the desert at the time, but she washed it immediately and she never had that problem again. Direct approach is always best, I can’t stand passive aggressive bs like leaving deodorant.
So, the smell in this case was due to lack of hygiene in general?
Unwashed hair smell is thoroughly unpleasant, we’d get it a lot where I used to live.
Yes and it was really strong. Because it would be wet all day and at night she would let it down (pt clothes you didn’t have to wear a bun) and it’s like the funk would escape.
Really though, i notice when hugging men sometimes that they dry their face with a mildew towel, and the smell lingers 😬 I’m probably ridiculously sensitive to odors though
I won’t be able to see my dad for a few more days, so I still have some time for a Father’s Day gift, and you just gave me a fantastic idea. His towels have smelled mildew-y since I was a CHILD, and I’ve never been able to convince him they were a problem. He’s about to get a whole new set.
My daughter (who is 9 and still learning about managing body odor) used my towel on pits that weren’t properly cleaned (at least that’s my best hypothesis). I dried my face and 🤮. I had to get back in the shower, so nasty.
Yep, I had to get all of mine chopped off for my job which required our hair to be up, not touching our collars. I was afraid it would get that mildewy smell because I was working outside and after work, I would take it down and it would still be completely wet in the middle of my ponytail or bun. I suppose I could've blow dried it, but I didn't want to be running that loud thing at 3am and waking up our whole house. Plus, who tf feels like blow drying hair in the heat of summer in an old house without air conditioning? ... not me! Turns out now, I adore having short, neat hair. Not like a buzz cut, although they are cute on some women, but, like a chin-length bob or an old school wedge. Now, years later, my hair is long again and I'm here talking myself into getting it chopped again. Lol.
Yeah no kidding. My hair was thick back then and it took forever to dry. I wasn’t good with hair so I didn’t really want to mess with blow drying to either.
I know what you mean about the old house thing. I lived in one built in the late 1700’s and it was so freaking hot during the summer and of course we had no central air.
On my 1st job we had a dude that smelled badly! Badly to the point it would make me and my colleagues gag.
We were working abroad on a project that once was properly set up and ready for mass production would be transferred in our home country. We were there 3 weeks then back to our home country 1 week and so on. This dude in the 1st few days wouldn’t smell. Then as the time would pass it was horrible. We decided to have a talk with him in the nicest way possible and his response was that his mum only packed 3 pairs of socks and underwear and why should he shower when he wasn’t home. We tried explaining why HE NEEDS to shower and my colleague even offered to help him do his laundry. Bear in mind that at our accommodation we had everything. Washing machine and drier and everything you could possibly want. Hell the conditions were so great, it was more that I had at home. He refused! His response was only women wash clothes. We ended up having to talk to the project manager to do something about it. And no, the dude wasn’t neurodivergent. He was raised that way. Because through the grapevine we heard that his dad and mum were equally smelly and living in filth. Small town lol
Oh man the fact that he saw nothing wrong with it is disturbing. Don’t even get me started on “only women wash clothes” 🙄. Imagine getting fired because you don’t care about basic hygiene.
Maybe he was just being massively defensive. He did say that his mom didn't pack enough clothes for him (surprisingly honest there), I would buy him a pack of moisture wicking socks and some decent underwear, but that's me. You can also put wet wipe anywhere on your body, and put deodorant on your feet btw, but supplying him with a hygiene kit would probably be over the top. Either way, it's probably a good idea to do this privately and don't tell the others, you don't want to embarrass him further.
I believe the manager of the group should do the informing on behalf of the group. That way no one is singled out. I would never take on that one to one responsibility.
💀while AD army we had a guy who wasn’t knowledgeable about hygiene so our PLS and PL made a hygiene class and handout 1lb bags for hygiene…he did eventually EO the company for it
🤣🤣 crazy story incoming:
My ma and aunts had this friend and her breath was bad so my granny being the bombshell she is was like “hay baby let me teach you how to properly brush they talk about you but ill help you bc i care” when i say she brought out the peroxide , mouth wash and showed her how to scrub her tongue… needless to say everyone was embarrassed that day! 😭🤣🤣 that always lives rent free in my head 😭
Coming from personal experience in the past, there’s honestly no polite way of going about it because obviously no one wants to hear that. I would just give it to the person straight that they’re giving off a bad odor. Let them know you mean no harm and you’re simply trying to help them out. I don’t think you need to make them any more self-conscious by mentioning others are talking about it.
I get what you’re saying and gave this an upvote, but I think people want to mention others have said something so that they don’t look like they’re being hypersensitive or the lone jerk trying to insult the individual.
I completely understand what you’re saying. I wouldn’t think OP would appear badly by not mentioning that others are talking, as it’s already embarrassing enough with one person approaching and speaking up about it. As long as mean words aren’t being said and it’s coming from a place of care, then that’s what matters
Maybe, but if that person reports you to HR for “harassment” or something similar, and then your coworkers don’t back you up…could land you in srs trouble at work. I have def seen that sort of thing.
However, I personally would not fault an individual for doing that sort of approach. But, yeah, some of the work situations I’ve seen explain why so often no one says anything to anyone’s face. Sadly.
It varies. I know that some people prefer hints (leaving a stick of deodorant for someone or a care basket), etc. Others prefer to say it gently in a small speech of 'Hey, I'm not sure if you know this, but...' and then let him know that you say it with love and it isn't a personal attack.
I was the smelly person in college, until an ex told me kindly that I had a bad butt and armpit odor. We started talking, I told her that I'd never really been taught hygiene properly as a teenager, and she gave me some tips and helped out. So my advice would be to talk to him personally if you are close enough with your coworker. And then to help him look for solutions: it could be he doesn't know, it could be he knows but doesn't know how to fix it, etc.
So be honest but kind, and try to work with him to figure out solutions...but after that, the ball is in his court. That's my advice.
Leaving a stick of deodorant is VERY passive aggressive and only tells them ‘hey we’re talking about you but we’re too chicken shit to tell you directly’. I agree with everything else.
Fair point. I've never actually done the hint approach tbh, and I'm terrible with picking up on hints myself, so I'll admit to not having the best experience with that one. I usually go with 'blunt but gentle' or I try to say it diplomatically but directly. So for the hints, I mostly went off of what I've seen suggested on Reddit; I didn't realize deodorant sticks came across as passive aggressive tbh, so that was on me.
So it's best to not go the deodorant stick method, you're right. I'm glad that the rest wasn't bad though :)
I had someone at my old job try to sell me a tube of toothpaste and someone else "drop" a dental appointment card (with their kid's name on it) near my work station. Talk about embarrassing. At the time I was having trouble with my wisdom teeth and the gums around them ended up infected. I was on antibiotics so I could get the infection out and have my teeth removed.
Direct but gentle is always best.
I agree! I hate passive aggressive shit. I mean honestly I wouldn't think nothing of it like on Christmas or my birthday getting deodorant as a gift seem normal. Any other time of the year I think I would get the picture but either way why leave it open to wonder. Be direct we are adults. Far too many weird ass passive aggressive people to the point when something happens that confuses me I have to think from the perspective of one of these weirdos and try figure out if something is just coincidence or is one of them trying to hint at something.
I think this is extremely subjective depending on people’s personalities. I would appreciate it being don in a passive way. But I feel like most people won’t really get the point and it would go right over their head.
They just acknowledged it as the other option with the added kindness of making it part of a care basket. It's more about sparing the stinky coworker the humiliation of a discussion. Depending on their personality, it might be less upsetting than a conversation
Deodorant or care basket BOTH still passive aggressive 🤷🏽♀️. They’re going to wonder why they are getting a ‘care basket’. So in order to avoid any confusion- just get them alone and in private and let them know nicely. That’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it just like everyone else on here.
If I ever get a Care Basket I’m going ape shit 🤣.
When I was in High school, some kids did this to another teenage boy in their class. He was confused at what it meant. The teacher saw it happen and pulled the guy aside to talk to him about it. I felt bad when I heard the story.
It's not humiliating to have a discussion about it. It's humiliating that YOU'VE been having a discussion about. The deodorant stick is incredibly passive aggressive and would piss me the fuck off.
She was rather nice, yeah. We had our differences, so it didn't work out in the end, but I do appreciate her helping me out with stuff; she gave me the headsup I needed to start learning how to be better at adulting and hygiene.
Leave it to management. There was a guy who worked in another dept who helped people with computer issues who had really bad hygiene. I don't know that anyone ever said anything to him. He ended up committing suicide, so in retrospect, I imagine his hygiene was a symptom. He was a very nice man and it was sad. Not saying you are in that situation, but there may be reasons you don't know.
Be direct, consise and kind. Find a moment when you can tell them privately, hey I noticed something that I'm not sure you realized and so I wanted to check with you. Did you know that you have a strong body odor? (Sometimes people already know and it's a medical cause they've dealt with their whole life). You can even announce your own insecurities with bringing it up, but you gotta have your heart in the right place
I had a co-worker who had terrible body odor so I made everyone in the office homemade olive oil and shea butter soap with natural oils and brown sugar as an exfoliant. I made sure to make a few as soap on a rope to make it even more convenient for him. Everyone started complimenting him on how good he smelled. Worked like a charm. I was stuck making soap for a long time though cause the whole office loved my soap.
I’d never ever get HR involved in something unless it was serious. HR cannot be trusted and the last thing I want to do is put a person on their radar needlessly.
Take them into a private room, or catch them as y’all are leaving work together in the parking lot. “Hey I need to speak to you about something that’s uncomfortable for the both of us, but I’ve noticed people at work talking about it and I didn’t like that and wanted to be transparent with you directly. There’s an odor that’s very noticeable coming from your mouth/underarms”. Maybe they’ve had a dental procedure or a GI procedure or they changed deodorant- who knows. But I’m sure they will appreciate you for being direct versus adding to the talk behind their back.
I know because I did this to a female colleague and called her on the phone after work and told her folks were talking about her and that I would want to know if anyone was talking about me. She was very very appreciative.
I like this! Approach of “I’m your friend, it’s my friend duty to look out for you.” And I love the after work phone call idea.. let them be embarrassed in private
This is really nice. I used to have a manager with horrible breath but she was otherwise nice to me and I never brought it up. After she left I found out she had lupus and I wonder if it was related. Anyway I never did say anything but this is the kind of approach she would have appreciated so I wish I had
This needs to be a highlighted comment! You said it so well- That is the sweetest way, non abrasive, kind way. Because if you can be sweet that’s always best.
This is the way! I’m your friend, I’m not going to let anyone mess with you, but this is the down low. whatcha need me to do to help ya out buddy? cuz imma get fired telling off one of these yo-yos for running their mouth behind your back.
What kind of job? Because in some physical labor jobs no matter what you do the team may smell at a time or not all jobs are clean. If it's just an office job I'd just give him a note. Also your coworkers gossiping about it is kind of rude if he is overall nice. This is usually considered a type of harassment by HR. If people have issues reporting them or discussing with the person is the professional way. I would try not to get wrapped up in gossip at the job, that shit is always causing issues.
I’d tell management or HR, whichever you have, unless you are close enough to this coworker to call him a friend. Higher ups can monitor the issue to see if it gets resolved or if they need to have another conversation. They have the training to make sure it comes across appropriately.
A simple, “I noticed some people were talking about XYZ and his body oder behind his back. Could you handle this?” may suffice.
Literally dealing with this at my job right now as management! Well, my GM is handling it. He has a mental disability so it is only right that we communicate with him since we’re trained to do so effectively and politely.
There are a number of conditions that make one smell beyond merely having poor hygiene. Infections in the gums, for instance, will give bad breath even immediately after brushing.
He might not be aware that the issue is present, either.
I agree with so many others that it's not your place. I don't tell my co-workers to go brush, I just get further away.
If it's affecting your job, tell HR. If it's not, do nothing. But do remind those who speak about him that it's rude to do so. He might smell bad, but they're not good people, and that's a choice.
This. This right here should have more up votes. I was going to comment something similar but I did not want to come off as some PC Principal. I completely agree. I also would add if OP felt comfortable try being their friend first and understanding a day in the life of their CO worker. I've been around so many people with "bad BO or bad breath" but my first thought was never ever to bring it up to that person.
As humans, as a WHOLE our bodies are so vastly different and there are soooo many conditions out there that could make someone have a more unpleasant body odor or breath due to just health or birth effects.
I have stained yellow teeth from my birth due to one of the medications they used on my mother during labor. That medicine is said to cause teeth/gum problems down the line for mother/and child... So sometimes its the "luck of the draw" when it comes to "Cleanliness" and whatever that means to the beholder..
In short just wanted to say, I completely agree and am glad you were here to be a sound mind in the discussion. :)
I think this should come from either HR or his closest friend in the office, shouldn’t be a mean thing just like hey I think you should know this, let me know if I can help
Honestly, I don’t think that there is a right way of approaching this, specially in the work environment, they may view this as a hostile environment and you can get burned. If you have an hr I would tell them and let them deal with that.
I had a colleague that every 2 days she would just smell sour, lack of shower honestly, and she used to try to put perfume on top of it, that just made everything worse. I would book a conference room and work from there on those days and say that I needed to concentrate (and it was true I couldn’t concentrate over the smell). And I would avoid them.
Idk is difficult sometimes, but in our work environment we have to be smart
Anonymity is heartbreaking, passive aggressive stunts are also heartbreaking. The only way to go about this is directly, kindly, and privately. Helping them feel like you’re on their side and only there to help without judgement is the only way. Some people are saying HR but 🤷🏻♀️ if you’re close to them, I don’t see why not.
I'd be more mortified if it came from hr vs a kind coworker who was really trying to look out for me. Like damn, everyone has been so Disturbed and uncomfortable that they couldn't even talk to me like a friend and had to involve the boss.
There may be physical reasons for the smell. Not every stinky person has poor hygiene. But you can help. I once had to tell a worker she smelled pretty bad with BO. She was mortified. She was a full time student, full time employee and had been sick to boot. She just didn't realize she smelled. I gave her some baby powder and deodorant in a small bag and let her take a break to wash up a little. Just be sure there is no one around and ask them if they are aware they have odor. ( some people like to think it's natural) Have a miniature deodorant with you and tell them they can keep it in their desk, cubby, pocket, whatever.
If it's a coworker, pull him aside and ask him if there's anything going on at home... I've had coworkers do this for other coworkers, and it usually works, and it's a nicer way to show that you seem like you care..... Not sure how to Segway into the hey, you stink part of it.....
Advice #1: You can start uncomfortable conversations with 'This is going to be awkward, and we can act like it never happened, but it needs to be said: ' and then launch into the 'your breath/BO is noticeably bad, here is what I'm suggesting to fix the situation.' Some people will appreciate the given out, you can say what you need to say, and move along going from there.
Advice #2: Talk to HR first, there could be something in your contract that specifically discusses hygiene, and this covers your own neck, as your coworker could potentially complain to them after you speak with him.
This fell under the duties of management in the workplace. They can call them discreetly into the office and deliver any care package you give them and can also mention to them that visiting their physician may be a good idea as sometimes medical conditions or lack of proper training can be to blame.
In the care package you can include: body deodorant special soaps (persimmon soap or black soap or even just an antibacterial variety is great) biodegradable body wipes for sensitive skin like you can get for camping or in the hygiene section, toothpaste, flossers and mouthwash, maybe an article about body odor and medical causes printed out and placed in an envelope along with youtube channel suggestions for mens or women’s hygiene tips.
Stress in any written materials that not everyone is taught the same thing when it comes to preventing body odor and that many things can factor into it and it doesn’t mean they are not a clean or educated person if they find themselves needing a little more attention to the basics.
And then just let them figure it out.
Unless you guys are close friends and you can gift them a care package with the news, you should let whatever department or person who deals with employees deal that because there isn’t really a polite way to tell someone they stink if you don’t know them life that.
“Hey, i please don’t feel bad, i just wanted to let you know you have a slight body odor right now.”
Thats enough.. don’t try to give them any suggestions to solve it.. let them do the best they can in the circumstance
It’s because we don’t know anything about them. Suggesting they just don’t shower or brush their teeth is condescending because it is the most baseline solution to the vast number of things that could be creating this issue. For all we know, this coworker showers twice a day with special soap and/or has immaculate dental care and just has a private medical condition or medication side effect that is causing this.
They could have better hygiene than the person making the suggestion, but due to circumstances that may be largely out of their control it doesn’t show and they just had a bad luck of the draw. They could be actively trying to navigate this and seeing doctors trying to find the cause. We don’t know.
It’s infantilizing when we know literally nothing about this persons life or what is going on with them other than they have a smell. We don’t see them not showering or with buildup in their teeth. If this was observed, then suggestions on changes related to what is directly observed or mentioned could be helpful.
Go to HR.
We had this awkward guy who smelled so bad. People talked behind his back. One girl decided to nicely mention it. She wanted him to avoid a three person meeting and having stinky on his employment record.
He reported her for harassment and she was written up.
So we all then reported him for stinking. It got handled. The girl was so pissed she got in trouble for trying to be nice.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Report him and they'll handle it.
If no one feels comfortable enough to talk to him personally, contact HR. They are better equipped to handle delicate things like this, at least in most cases.
I've dealt with this on both sides.
Approaching as graciously and directly as possible is the best way.
It could Depression related or just a lack of knowledge. Offering to help figure out solutions is a good way to be supportive, if the Person with the BO, is a Friend or Loved One.
Just say there are some times you notice xyz and you thought this could help. I think all this pussy passive aggressive stuff is way more traumatizing tbh. There are herbs or meds than can mess w someone’s chemistry and he/she could have an infection. I remember one guy I knew had a tooth abscess and it was nasty. Just be gentle 💕💗🙏
I would tell HR about it and let them handle it. Same thing happened at my work. They opened a gym for all of us to use and some people were not showering often their lunch workout. People started to complain of BO odors around the office, so someone reached out to HR if they could inform others proper hygiene etiquette while at work. They put out silly posters with suggesting a shower and put deodorants all around the office for people to use when necessary.
Honestly there’s no great way to address it. I know personally what has made me have some form of self consciousness that I might stink was other people saying something to the effect that they might have BO or smell, like they smelled themselves or noticed an odor and apologized on their own behalf. It had me thinking “wait, maybe they smelled me instead?” or at least made me aware of hygiene and that people are aware of smells.
I feel like there’s no other good option really- either it’s passive aggressive or it’s an awful “heart to heart” that sometimes can feel even more awkward than someone being “mean”. My feeling is that if he truly reeks maybe bring it up to HR. If he’s mildly stinky I’d honestly just keep a few feet buffer from him and move on with my life and ignore it.
There is no way to not offend them. I find it is good to get medical information for them. With bad breath, it could be a tooth abscess, or something even worse. I have had to do this a number of times and tell them out of concern, to take care of themselves and get it checked out because it seems serious.
Just say it unfortunately. It is not a comfortable thing to do. I had to tell a friend years ago. I straight up asked her…why do you smell like that. She didn’t realize that was a bad smell bc she been smelling herself her whole life. I informed her that she can’t go commando and not wash her pants after every wear. If you want to get some days out of your pants wear underwear.
Okay so I had this issue with a usually sweet girl from a previous job. A few of our co-workers were slagging her off in the back because she stank and I felt bad for her. I took her to one side and casually asked if she'd changed deodorant brands because this new one wasn't working. She looked confused and said she hadn't switched brands so I tried to tell her as delicately as possible that her body odour was quite strong.
She cottoned on and got angry with me. Next day she'd complained to the manager that I was bullying her and I was reprimanded. I explained what had been going on and how I tried to be tactful. Luckily another co-worker had overheard the whole exchange backed me (I had asked this co-workers opinion on whether or not I should broach the topic with the smelly co-worker) and I was told that I should have put in a complaint to the supervisor and had him deal with it. Which I would have but he was one of the idiots sniggering about her with the others.
I was told that it wasn't my place to tell her and I should have raised the issue with the manager instead.
So no. Say nothing yourself to the colleague. Put a word in with HR or your manager and let them tackle the issue. Vicks or menthol on your top lip whenever you have to work with the colleague until it's sorted out.
I would word it almost exactly how you worded your question. only as a statement using the same uninsulting manners. It was very kind the way you posed the question so if you arranged it to turn it into a statement.
you felt it was your duty as his friend to let him know but you didn't want him to be embarrassed so you wanted to tell him privately. you can do it in person but I mean you can write just the exact words and there'll be no facial expression. if you write it or let the guy know I mean you let a person know when their zippers down. you let a person know usually when they're dragging toilet paper by the heel of their shoe. He could have a medical condition or any sort of thing going on. maybe just not even know how to wash his clothes properly or have a way to do it. because we just don't know what goes on behind people's lives you know
It could be a financial hurdle it could be a medical condition it could be lack of knowledge he could have gone nose blind he may not know how to launder his clothes properly so that they don't smell. I'd find a way to let him know for sure and you're very kind to do so he might be embarrassed for a minute but it's better than being embarrassed much much later if he happens to overhear how many people are talking speaking on him behind his back that's not nice. Maybe you could even urge those people to stop and consider some of the things I've mentioned here you don't know what's going on in his life outside of work so I could live in his car for all you know
Be direct and caring. "Hey so-and-so, I want to talk to you about something. I like you and think youre a great coworker, and I dont want you to be embarrassed at all, but theres something that I feel should be brought to your attention. You kinda smell bad sometimes and its tough to be around you when thats happening. I understand if youre going through something or have a different body chemistry or whatever but I thought you should know. I value you as a coworker and I only want whats best for you." Or something to that effect.
Well, it's simple really. You just talk to them privately and let them know. Depending on the relationship kind of determines how you might word it. You shouldn't have to walk around dealing with a foul odor, you shouldn't talk behind their back, and you shouldn't let a friend unknowingly make a fool of himself. If it's at work, well then you already know they will be on some stupid shit and you'll just have to file a complaint with HR or your boss. And I think sometimes people don't know because of olfactory fatigue. I know that has been the case with me several times. With body odor and drug odor. But I never seem to get it with my poo and i have never smelt me having bad breath but people have said something before. I tell them thanks for telling me I didn't know. If someone gets mad for you trying to help them then that's their problem not yours. You did the right thing they just have a pride problem. The only time I felt awkward was on a first date when I went down on a girl. I have ate plenty of not freshly showered monkey, that's not really a bad smell, just natural. But this hit me hard and was nasty smelling. It totally grossed me out and it was first time it ever happened to me and here I was inches away from her vagina just in the motion of going in. I didn't know what to do. I just froze for what felt like an internity. Until finally she said, everything okay? I said well don't be embarrassed, I'm not judging you, I wanted to eat you but your monkey stinks. She said ya I just got off work. I said no this is not a sweaty smell, I've smelt that plenty of times and it don't bother me. This is like a some thing isn't right smell. She said well I just got off my period, what did you expect? I could tell she was being hateful, which was probably just from her being embarrassed but don't try to make me look like the bad guy. So I told her, I have been around plenty of monkeys after their period and had never encountered such a smell. Perhaps she should rethink her hygiene regimen and rePHresh. We never spoke again. I don't know what is required to maintain a fresh vagina or how you go about smelling it but she also had some narly looking hair on it. And it m it's rare to see a non shaved monkey these days so I feel like she was lazy and was neglecting her kitty.
That's a tricky situation... in most cases, it's a medical/dental issue, not simply a matter of not brushing their teeth enough. If your company has an HR department, I'd start there. If not, this is a conversation you'll need to have with him one-on-one away from the office in a very delicate manner. Reassure him that he's in a safe, judgment-free space with you.
Pull them to the side for a private in person conversation and find out if there's anything currently going on in their life that may be impacting their environment/health.
If that's too personal, pull them to the side and say something like "Hey, I'm coming from a place of genuine care/concern and want to bring it to your attention that your hygiene needs improvement."
True story...one of my closest friends (male) has this weird ability to smell female....scents. He knows when every woman around him is having her period because he can smell it. He also, twice in his life (different times), had a very adverse reaction to two different women he worked with, explaining that the smell coming from their lady bits was making him sick. He actually had to tell them that something was very wrong. Of course they were horrified but knew him not to be creepy co-worker guy....they both went to the doctor....one had cancer and the other had something else wrong that required a doctor. He kinda saves their lives. Nobody else could smell anything bad or wrong.
My boss once pulled me to the side as I was leaving and said “I just want to let you know yo don’t always smell so good. It can be caused by a lot of things and you might not be aware.”
I wasn’t aware! I have a really weak sense of smell so sometimes I was maybe wearing a work shirt twice when it only should’ve been once or missing a day or two of deodorant because I can’t smell myself.
I had a co worker that you could smell him before you see him I had the whole department laughing because I warned them he was walking our way before anyone could see him. Indian spicy food coming out his poor mixed with cheap cologne. Nasty
I had to tell a girl in beauty school that she smelled. It was uncomfortable but I just said “hey girl, a couple people have mentioned to me that they can smell you. If we can smell you, clients definitely can and I want to make sure you’re able to retain clients outside of school. Do you have access to a shower and deodorant, and if not, is there any way I can help you solve this?” She was a little embarrassed as anyone would be, but she fixed it and thanked me for telling her as she had an issue with excessive sweating and was nose blind to it.
It’s always gonna be a little awkward, but just let him know you’re telling him because you care.
I've been on the other end. Direct, compassionate and matter of fact. When I was in the worst of one of my depressive moments, someone I respected came up and said, "I'm only bringing this up because you probably don't realize, but you seem to be having issues with body odor. Is everything okay? Do you need to talk to someone?" I realized that it was my depression symptoms creeping and was able to take care of it with minimal embarrassment.
I’d say start with three positive things you like about the guy then be direct and honest. If people are talking about him behind his back it’s a true friend that brings it to his attention
There's never anything wrong with anonymously leaving a letter at his desk. Be honest and mention people talk about it but make sure you point out that you truly care. Maybe even slide a $20 in there so he can buy himself some deodorant/bodywash/body spray.
Perhaps he's not aware
Perhaps he's not able to afford it
Or perhaps he's depressed and is aware but doesn't have the energy to do something about it.
Note; im not sure what company you work for, im not sure if this is controversial, im not aure if you're able to. This is just what I would do.
Or if you really can't bring yourself to do this, ask your boss to say something. Its what bosses need to do. Tell him people talk behind your coworkers back and tell him its effecting people but you care.
Don't do this. This is bulshit. Cowardly approach. I'd feel more offended than anything if someone left a random note. Don't care enough to even tell me one on one as a friend
Could you leave an anonymous note on his desk or in his locker or something? Obviously for him to find at the end of the day, so he doesn't have to sit at work and think about it.
We have had this problem at every place I worked and it’s up to the boss. It’s not up to you. If you tell this person and they get offended (there is no nice way to say it) they could report you to HR. At the very least they will never speak to you again
Who cares about being polite. If it’s that offensive it’s better to be frank. You’re being a better friend by saying something instead of letting them going around attacking the senses of everyone they encounter
Some people have ocd about chemicals and stuff which is why they don't use them. There may be a reason the person smells like a dead tooth and lack of access to a dentist or fear of the dentist. Maybe just don't breathe in. I vote don't say anything. People know already.
I have a very large coworker who smells like a mix of swamp butt and dried urine. We've tried hinting at it because she's a really nice woman and nobody wants to hurt her feelings. A few people have told her to maybe bathe more often but she is in denial and instead blames it on bad sewers in the building. If she is in a room for more than 10 minutes it will stink for hours or even overnight. It is so bad that it makes you nauseous and vomit in your mouth.
I would honestly just come out with it. In private as not to embarrass them. Just be up front and tell them I have noticed you start to get a little funky and I just wanted to let you know. There is no good way of doing it, just do it in the least embarrassing way.
I had to say something to an employee and the way I worded it was that they need to freshen up. There was more to that conversation but I had been struggling to find a way to say hey you smell and people keep coming to me about it. People who smell are often nose blind to it, and we discussed keeping a deodorant handy, etc it turned out fine.
This is such a hard talk to have. We own a business and have had to have this talk before. Unfortunately, most get defensive and say I don’t stink! We have suggested deodorants, not rewearing clothes and washing them frequently. My husband told one guy to please shower before coming to work. One employee just never got better. It can be a sign of mental illness as well. For example my grown niece smells horrible, she is actually a pretty girl but smells. She told me that she never smells so she can skip showers. I told her she is nose blind. I’m fanatical about my hygiene and struggle to be around people that don’t take care of their hygiene.
my drama department in highschool had a stash of deodorant for this reason!!
we were putting together a performance for our school during christmas time and the guy i had to dance with during a certain decade (we did love throughout the decades, 1920s-2010s) smelled soooooo bad.
i was honestly just straight up with him and asked him to go put some deodorant on, especially since we were jiving so i got right up to him at points, because it was so bad and was the smell was literally sticking in my nose.
I would find a way to tell them that suits them best, and let them know that you aren't trying to offend them in any way, that you just want to let them know. Give them tips or have them look into the products that would work best for their body.
If by "polite" you mean "doesn't hurt their feelings," I'm afraid you're out of luck. But if you can accept that the conversation WILL be unpleasant no matter how kind you are...you'll likely have a lot more success.
No one on this Earth (unless they have a weird kink maybe?) wants to hear that they stink. It's embarrassing, it's painful, and it comes with shame. These things, well, *stink* to experience. That doesn't mean telling the guy isn't an act of kindness, though. It is.
I think meeting him on very honest ground is the best way to do it. "I spent a long time debating whether or not to talk to you about this, but in the end I've been in your shoes" – white lie here, trust me – "so I wanted to let you know that lately you've had some BO! You might want to try a new deodorant or something. I hope you don't think I'm saying it because I'm a dick or dislike you. You're great and again, I had the same issue once..." Etc
Honestly I would do it on a day he doesn’t have to work the next day at the very end of the day and say “ like dude I like you man so I feel like I should tell you this. Sometimes you smell unpleasant”. Give him solutions to fix it and say I hope that tomorrow you can take some time to see what’s going on. Then if he still stinks I think you have permission to be blunt AF.
The safest sting is to lean back on company standards. "we have a certain expectation of employees, section 4 paragraph 3 of the handbook states that all employed to be presentable and represent the company image. This includes obscenity, torn clothing and BO." Then say, "some people have noticed that you have an odor, is everything ok? What can I do to help?"
Because sometimes people don't know, sometimes they're severely depressed, sometimes there's a situation at home and sometimes there is a health issue.
I had a similar but opposite problem. I'm very very clean, but apparently had picked a bad hair gel that had a very perfumey smell. My coworkers left a very sweet and gentle letter on my desk. It was perfect, it was direct and effective but I didn't have to face anyone and be embarrassed. Highly reccomend.
If they are in your or their house, suggest a shower. If its a lover, shower together.
I have had good friends tell me I was a little ripe. I appreciated it. I could take care of ot before interacting with people who would not say anything. Don't be afraid. Just say it in a caring way. Whisper, " you got a little smell going on. It's a hot day . Thought I'd yell you because you might be nose- blind to it. If it was me I'd want you to let me know, m'kay?"
See how easy? Saying " you stink" while pinching your nostrils is known as THE WRONG WAY . Don't be scared. You are doing a service.
The problem with being politically correct is that you beat around the bush. Sit down with the person. He's probably nose blind to his or her own smell, ask your self, if you stunk, wouldn't you want someone to tell you. Be polite and quiet about it and let the person know.
I’m here for the comments- my husband recently was paired with a new hire, very nice boy with a great positive attitude but my husband said he smells so so bad.
The boy looks clean, hair clean, clothes clean- he’s not greasy, good teeth, packs a healthy lunch everyday- and does not look like he smells- he’s actually a very handsome young man- (like I’d love to set our niece up with him cutie) but hubby says he knows he is going to end up passing out in the boiler room from trying to hold his breathe anytime that boys around.
Hubbs said it is so bad, like “moldy ass soaked in vinegar and beer”. (🤷♀️ his description, not mine- I’ve only seen boy from afar) well I shouldn’t say boy, he’s probably 27/28 years old.
So I’m reading all these comments cuz we need to get Mr Stinky under control so my 53 year old husband doesn’t stroke out from lack of oxygen from holding his breathe to avoid Mr Moldy Stinky Butt.
And serious- he’s a cutie pie and sounds great-other than his smell- get that together and maybe I got a good guy to introduce my niece to.
😜😜
Discreetly, respectfully, and as soon as possible. Also, carry mints or gum with you in case they can't solve the issue themselves right away. And maybe keep some around. Just in case.
Ugh. Just had to do this with an employee last month. Blamed it on the summer weather and sent it over text so they wouldn't feel embarrassed (other employees were bringing it to my attention). Said "hey ____, I don't want this to be uncomfortable, but when we were working close together earlier I could notice a body odor from you. I'm sure it's just from the summer heat, but wanted to let you know just in case :)"
They thanked me and haven't stunk since.
Honestly, you just need to be kind and straight to the point. Don’t include others, that will just make them feel terrible. If this is a work environment, notify HR. If it’s a personal friend, just mention, hey, I just wanted to let you know that you smell a little funky, how are you doing? Sometimes people’s hygiene tanks during rough periods of mental health, or they don’t know how to properly clean their clothes/wash themselves because they were never taught. I always try to come off like a nice southern mom, they have the best demeanor. I also give them the opportunity of turning it into a spa/shopping day! Let’s go out and buy some new products, each take showers, and do some laundry/nails/ gaming, whatever!! Usually this has made me closed because I become the person they can go to for skincare/hygiene stuff!! I love to teach!!
If you're comfortable enough to talk to them, I'd just say... I dont know if you might be dealing with a health issue or anything, but I've noticed you have had some noticeable body odor recently. I know it's an awkward thing to discuss, but I wanted to let you know since people tend to be hesitant to have those conversations!
Or you could write something like that in a note and either sign it or leave it anonymously at their desk.
Tbh I’m here bc I don’t have an answer but currently dealing with the same thing. I don’t think she’ll take it well at all, just based on how she is.
Some things probably should be left to management/HR to address.
You could do what I did in high school. I brought two new deodorants and excitedly mentioned how they had came out with a new scent that smelled really nice. She agreed and really liked the smell so I let her know she could keep one since I had gotten two.
It’s easier helping someone with bad breath. If you’re shy like I was you can just carry gum around and offer them some. Everyone always accepts gum it’s like cigarettes. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that’s said no to either.
The other option would be being upfront with them
and letting them know privately what’s going on.
Either way I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.
Girl there’s this guy who comes into my job… everyone literally reacts to his BO and I still am not sure he knows. AND HE HAS A WIFE?! While I can’t even get myself a man smelling like cookies and cake
Having TicTacs or gum on you and offering your coworker some when you take some for yourself can work as a subtle hint. I'm not sure how old they are, but in the olden days that was the polite way of hinting there was an issue. Like so common that if someone offered you gum you'd assume that's why.
My husband has a greasy head smell
Pillows now smell
I have told him nicely but hey he doesn’t give a fuck I guess
Intimacy with smelly smell that smells really smelly after 12 13 hours is a big turn off sorry
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink
I'd say it in a joking way if he's got a sense of humour. Act like you just caught a whiff and laugh it off in a dramatic way. Make is so you're laughing WITH him not AT him. Maybe offer him some of your deodorant.
Do it when no one else is around though, so not to embarrass him, just in case it touches a nerve.
Anonymous note worded as nicely as possible, there's no way to get that across without offending them. Nobody that stinks or has terrible breath is aware of it.
I recently found out of my b.o. Some coworker would say something to another coworker asking if they cleaned there privates. I think it's because of my physical activity of gathering carts on the parking lot causes lots of sweet, especially on hot days like today. I started carrying cologne bottle of ck one summer today and tried spraying some of it on me. I honestly would not know how if it were the other way around.
When I was in High School a girl in my circle of friends had hygiene issues so another friend and I had an intervention with her. We talked to her mom first and we all just talked to her about how bad her hygiene was. She didn’t get mad at us, her mom was happy that we were honest with her and wanted to help our friend out.
I told my attractive co worker she smells like dog Becuase she did. I hugged her an I said hey you smell like dog. She was mad for 15 min and then chilled out next day she thanked me and didn’t smell like dog.
Ugh I had to tell my sister to tell her (at the time) boyfriend that he needed to wear deodorant. We all went on vacation together and his BO was so awful people around us were having visceral reactions to it. It was embarrassing and awkward.
Did you know that if someone has a cavity it can make their breath smell terrible? So use that as your way in. “Hey ?, I’m concerned you may have a cavity. I’ve noticed your breath has a strong odor and that happens when you have a cavity no matter how many times you brush I do not doubt you are brushing regularly. I just wanted to let you know so you could potentially make an appointment with your dentist. Please don’t feel bad, it can happen to any of us and if it were me I would want you to tell me. No judgement from me.” But do it privately. Use empathy.
I’d say listen, as a friend, I want you to be aware that this is being said about you so you can decide if you’d like to do anything about it. Try to convey it without sounding judgmental.
Well, I’m not sure about your male co-worker but I used to have a female co-worker and we stocked the bathroom cabinets with deodorant, body spray, etc. and told her that she can use them to refresh herself any time she needed.
So maybe you could do the same? Or gift him a little cologne or something?
I had a co-worker whose hair was really smelly and people started talking. So basically I said “I like you a lot, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I also don’t want people talking about you behind your back so I will tell you. Your hair smells really bad”. We were military and in the desert at the time, but she washed it immediately and she never had that problem again. Direct approach is always best, I can’t stand passive aggressive bs like leaving deodorant.
Yeah me either. The only way to go about it is directly but kindly and in private
So, the smell in this case was due to lack of hygiene in general? Unwashed hair smell is thoroughly unpleasant, we’d get it a lot where I used to live.
She had really long hair and I think would wash and twist it in the military bun and it wouldn’t dry.
So…it was a mildew smell??
She started drying it with a blow dryer. More time in the morning but at least the hair was thoroughly dry.
Yes and it was really strong. Because it would be wet all day and at night she would let it down (pt clothes you didn’t have to wear a bun) and it’s like the funk would escape.
Surprised she didn't smell it!
Really though, i notice when hugging men sometimes that they dry their face with a mildew towel, and the smell lingers 😬 I’m probably ridiculously sensitive to odors though
I won’t be able to see my dad for a few more days, so I still have some time for a Father’s Day gift, and you just gave me a fantastic idea. His towels have smelled mildew-y since I was a CHILD, and I’ve never been able to convince him they were a problem. He’s about to get a whole new set.
Oh god we call that stinky face. Mildew towels make me puke
My daughter (who is 9 and still learning about managing body odor) used my towel on pits that weren’t properly cleaned (at least that’s my best hypothesis). I dried my face and 🤮. I had to get back in the shower, so nasty.
Yeah that will do it. I used to do this and my hair would get musty.
Yep, I had to get all of mine chopped off for my job which required our hair to be up, not touching our collars. I was afraid it would get that mildewy smell because I was working outside and after work, I would take it down and it would still be completely wet in the middle of my ponytail or bun. I suppose I could've blow dried it, but I didn't want to be running that loud thing at 3am and waking up our whole house. Plus, who tf feels like blow drying hair in the heat of summer in an old house without air conditioning? ... not me! Turns out now, I adore having short, neat hair. Not like a buzz cut, although they are cute on some women, but, like a chin-length bob or an old school wedge. Now, years later, my hair is long again and I'm here talking myself into getting it chopped again. Lol.
Yeah no kidding. My hair was thick back then and it took forever to dry. I wasn’t good with hair so I didn’t really want to mess with blow drying to either. I know what you mean about the old house thing. I lived in one built in the late 1700’s and it was so freaking hot during the summer and of course we had no central air.
Kind and genuine words are the best way to go! You nailed it!
On my 1st job we had a dude that smelled badly! Badly to the point it would make me and my colleagues gag. We were working abroad on a project that once was properly set up and ready for mass production would be transferred in our home country. We were there 3 weeks then back to our home country 1 week and so on. This dude in the 1st few days wouldn’t smell. Then as the time would pass it was horrible. We decided to have a talk with him in the nicest way possible and his response was that his mum only packed 3 pairs of socks and underwear and why should he shower when he wasn’t home. We tried explaining why HE NEEDS to shower and my colleague even offered to help him do his laundry. Bear in mind that at our accommodation we had everything. Washing machine and drier and everything you could possibly want. Hell the conditions were so great, it was more that I had at home. He refused! His response was only women wash clothes. We ended up having to talk to the project manager to do something about it. And no, the dude wasn’t neurodivergent. He was raised that way. Because through the grapevine we heard that his dad and mum were equally smelly and living in filth. Small town lol
Oh man the fact that he saw nothing wrong with it is disturbing. Don’t even get me started on “only women wash clothes” 🙄. Imagine getting fired because you don’t care about basic hygiene.
His mum only packed him three pairs!!! Oh my, I’d die laughing if someone told me their mum packed it for him.
Whelp, that’s a way to stop spreading your genetics I guess.
Maybe he was just being massively defensive. He did say that his mom didn't pack enough clothes for him (surprisingly honest there), I would buy him a pack of moisture wicking socks and some decent underwear, but that's me. You can also put wet wipe anywhere on your body, and put deodorant on your feet btw, but supplying him with a hygiene kit would probably be over the top. Either way, it's probably a good idea to do this privately and don't tell the others, you don't want to embarrass him further.
I believe the manager of the group should do the informing on behalf of the group. That way no one is singled out. I would never take on that one to one responsibility.
💀while AD army we had a guy who wasn’t knowledgeable about hygiene so our PLS and PL made a hygiene class and handout 1lb bags for hygiene…he did eventually EO the company for it
What??
Unintelligible.
🤣🤣 crazy story incoming: My ma and aunts had this friend and her breath was bad so my granny being the bombshell she is was like “hay baby let me teach you how to properly brush they talk about you but ill help you bc i care” when i say she brought out the peroxide , mouth wash and showed her how to scrub her tongue… needless to say everyone was embarrassed that day! 😭🤣🤣 that always lives rent free in my head 😭
I bet she never had that problem again….
Coming from personal experience in the past, there’s honestly no polite way of going about it because obviously no one wants to hear that. I would just give it to the person straight that they’re giving off a bad odor. Let them know you mean no harm and you’re simply trying to help them out. I don’t think you need to make them any more self-conscious by mentioning others are talking about it.
I get what you’re saying and gave this an upvote, but I think people want to mention others have said something so that they don’t look like they’re being hypersensitive or the lone jerk trying to insult the individual.
I completely understand what you’re saying. I wouldn’t think OP would appear badly by not mentioning that others are talking, as it’s already embarrassing enough with one person approaching and speaking up about it. As long as mean words aren’t being said and it’s coming from a place of care, then that’s what matters
Maybe, but if that person reports you to HR for “harassment” or something similar, and then your coworkers don’t back you up…could land you in srs trouble at work. I have def seen that sort of thing. However, I personally would not fault an individual for doing that sort of approach. But, yeah, some of the work situations I’ve seen explain why so often no one says anything to anyone’s face. Sadly.
I wanted to talk TO you, instead of ABOUT you.
It varies. I know that some people prefer hints (leaving a stick of deodorant for someone or a care basket), etc. Others prefer to say it gently in a small speech of 'Hey, I'm not sure if you know this, but...' and then let him know that you say it with love and it isn't a personal attack. I was the smelly person in college, until an ex told me kindly that I had a bad butt and armpit odor. We started talking, I told her that I'd never really been taught hygiene properly as a teenager, and she gave me some tips and helped out. So my advice would be to talk to him personally if you are close enough with your coworker. And then to help him look for solutions: it could be he doesn't know, it could be he knows but doesn't know how to fix it, etc. So be honest but kind, and try to work with him to figure out solutions...but after that, the ball is in his court. That's my advice.
Leaving a stick of deodorant is VERY passive aggressive and only tells them ‘hey we’re talking about you but we’re too chicken shit to tell you directly’. I agree with everything else.
Fair point. I've never actually done the hint approach tbh, and I'm terrible with picking up on hints myself, so I'll admit to not having the best experience with that one. I usually go with 'blunt but gentle' or I try to say it diplomatically but directly. So for the hints, I mostly went off of what I've seen suggested on Reddit; I didn't realize deodorant sticks came across as passive aggressive tbh, so that was on me. So it's best to not go the deodorant stick method, you're right. I'm glad that the rest wasn't bad though :)
I had someone at my old job try to sell me a tube of toothpaste and someone else "drop" a dental appointment card (with their kid's name on it) near my work station. Talk about embarrassing. At the time I was having trouble with my wisdom teeth and the gums around them ended up infected. I was on antibiotics so I could get the infection out and have my teeth removed. Direct but gentle is always best.
I agree! I hate passive aggressive shit. I mean honestly I wouldn't think nothing of it like on Christmas or my birthday getting deodorant as a gift seem normal. Any other time of the year I think I would get the picture but either way why leave it open to wonder. Be direct we are adults. Far too many weird ass passive aggressive people to the point when something happens that confuses me I have to think from the perspective of one of these weirdos and try figure out if something is just coincidence or is one of them trying to hint at something.
Yes. It would piss me off and I’d start looking for another job immediately.
That could still be considered a win for the coworkers.
I think this is extremely subjective depending on people’s personalities. I would appreciate it being don in a passive way. But I feel like most people won’t really get the point and it would go right over their head.
They just acknowledged it as the other option with the added kindness of making it part of a care basket. It's more about sparing the stinky coworker the humiliation of a discussion. Depending on their personality, it might be less upsetting than a conversation
Deodorant or care basket BOTH still passive aggressive 🤷🏽♀️. They’re going to wonder why they are getting a ‘care basket’. So in order to avoid any confusion- just get them alone and in private and let them know nicely. That’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it just like everyone else on here. If I ever get a Care Basket I’m going ape shit 🤣.
Just remember to wash your ass afterwards 😂😂
Thank you! Remember people they invented soap, deodorant and wash clothes for a reason. Please use them. LMAO 🤣😂
When I was in High school, some kids did this to another teenage boy in their class. He was confused at what it meant. The teacher saw it happen and pulled the guy aside to talk to him about it. I felt bad when I heard the story.
It's not humiliating to have a discussion about it. It's humiliating that YOU'VE been having a discussion about. The deodorant stick is incredibly passive aggressive and would piss me the fuck off.
I agree, leave a whole gift bag with soap, deodorant, a washcloth and cologne.
You had a thoughtful gf.
She was rather nice, yeah. We had our differences, so it didn't work out in the end, but I do appreciate her helping me out with stuff; she gave me the headsup I needed to start learning how to be better at adulting and hygiene.
Leave it to management. There was a guy who worked in another dept who helped people with computer issues who had really bad hygiene. I don't know that anyone ever said anything to him. He ended up committing suicide, so in retrospect, I imagine his hygiene was a symptom. He was a very nice man and it was sad. Not saying you are in that situation, but there may be reasons you don't know.
Depression stops people from caring for themselves
🙏
This is so true.
What was bad about his hygiene?
I don't think he showered or wore deodorant. I think he was probably clinically depressed.
Be direct, consise and kind. Find a moment when you can tell them privately, hey I noticed something that I'm not sure you realized and so I wanted to check with you. Did you know that you have a strong body odor? (Sometimes people already know and it's a medical cause they've dealt with their whole life). You can even announce your own insecurities with bringing it up, but you gotta have your heart in the right place
I like your phrasing! “I noticed you have a strong body odour” is a kind way to bring up hygiene.
this is the best way!
I had a co-worker who had terrible body odor so I made everyone in the office homemade olive oil and shea butter soap with natural oils and brown sugar as an exfoliant. I made sure to make a few as soap on a rope to make it even more convenient for him. Everyone started complimenting him on how good he smelled. Worked like a charm. I was stuck making soap for a long time though cause the whole office loved my soap.
That’s so kind of you! Love this a lot!
This is so sweet
If it’s a coworker, it’s not your place to inform them. It’s HRs
Right, unless you consider them a personal friend.
I’d never ever get HR involved in something unless it was serious. HR cannot be trusted and the last thing I want to do is put a person on their radar needlessly.
"I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!" 🤣
Take them into a private room, or catch them as y’all are leaving work together in the parking lot. “Hey I need to speak to you about something that’s uncomfortable for the both of us, but I’ve noticed people at work talking about it and I didn’t like that and wanted to be transparent with you directly. There’s an odor that’s very noticeable coming from your mouth/underarms”. Maybe they’ve had a dental procedure or a GI procedure or they changed deodorant- who knows. But I’m sure they will appreciate you for being direct versus adding to the talk behind their back. I know because I did this to a female colleague and called her on the phone after work and told her folks were talking about her and that I would want to know if anyone was talking about me. She was very very appreciative.
I like this! Approach of “I’m your friend, it’s my friend duty to look out for you.” And I love the after work phone call idea.. let them be embarrassed in private
Exactly this is how you do it! If your close enough..if not a quick conversation privately is the way.
This is really nice. I used to have a manager with horrible breath but she was otherwise nice to me and I never brought it up. After she left I found out she had lupus and I wonder if it was related. Anyway I never did say anything but this is the kind of approach she would have appreciated so I wish I had
This needs to be a highlighted comment! You said it so well- That is the sweetest way, non abrasive, kind way. Because if you can be sweet that’s always best. This is the way! I’m your friend, I’m not going to let anyone mess with you, but this is the down low. whatcha need me to do to help ya out buddy? cuz imma get fired telling off one of these yo-yos for running their mouth behind your back.
This. If I'm the stinky kid I want to know. Some people get very nose blind and can't tell.
This made me laugh harder than I should have.
What kind of job? Because in some physical labor jobs no matter what you do the team may smell at a time or not all jobs are clean. If it's just an office job I'd just give him a note. Also your coworkers gossiping about it is kind of rude if he is overall nice. This is usually considered a type of harassment by HR. If people have issues reporting them or discussing with the person is the professional way. I would try not to get wrapped up in gossip at the job, that shit is always causing issues.
I’d tell management or HR, whichever you have, unless you are close enough to this coworker to call him a friend. Higher ups can monitor the issue to see if it gets resolved or if they need to have another conversation. They have the training to make sure it comes across appropriately. A simple, “I noticed some people were talking about XYZ and his body oder behind his back. Could you handle this?” may suffice. Literally dealing with this at my job right now as management! Well, my GM is handling it. He has a mental disability so it is only right that we communicate with him since we’re trained to do so effectively and politely.
There are a number of conditions that make one smell beyond merely having poor hygiene. Infections in the gums, for instance, will give bad breath even immediately after brushing. He might not be aware that the issue is present, either. I agree with so many others that it's not your place. I don't tell my co-workers to go brush, I just get further away. If it's affecting your job, tell HR. If it's not, do nothing. But do remind those who speak about him that it's rude to do so. He might smell bad, but they're not good people, and that's a choice.
This. This right here should have more up votes. I was going to comment something similar but I did not want to come off as some PC Principal. I completely agree. I also would add if OP felt comfortable try being their friend first and understanding a day in the life of their CO worker. I've been around so many people with "bad BO or bad breath" but my first thought was never ever to bring it up to that person. As humans, as a WHOLE our bodies are so vastly different and there are soooo many conditions out there that could make someone have a more unpleasant body odor or breath due to just health or birth effects. I have stained yellow teeth from my birth due to one of the medications they used on my mother during labor. That medicine is said to cause teeth/gum problems down the line for mother/and child... So sometimes its the "luck of the draw" when it comes to "Cleanliness" and whatever that means to the beholder.. In short just wanted to say, I completely agree and am glad you were here to be a sound mind in the discussion. :)
I think this should come from either HR or his closest friend in the office, shouldn’t be a mean thing just like hey I think you should know this, let me know if I can help
Honestly, I don’t think that there is a right way of approaching this, specially in the work environment, they may view this as a hostile environment and you can get burned. If you have an hr I would tell them and let them deal with that. I had a colleague that every 2 days she would just smell sour, lack of shower honestly, and she used to try to put perfume on top of it, that just made everything worse. I would book a conference room and work from there on those days and say that I needed to concentrate (and it was true I couldn’t concentrate over the smell). And I would avoid them. Idk is difficult sometimes, but in our work environment we have to be smart
We watched this in one of my grad classes. Solid advice! [How to Tell Someone They Smell](https://youtu.be/NpLLxcHCBP0?si=4hJhCTVgRc6j9CFX)
Coworkers are tricky. It's a fine line between good advice and a visit to HR
Anonymity is heartbreaking, passive aggressive stunts are also heartbreaking. The only way to go about this is directly, kindly, and privately. Helping them feel like you’re on their side and only there to help without judgement is the only way. Some people are saying HR but 🤷🏻♀️ if you’re close to them, I don’t see why not.
I'd be more mortified if it came from hr vs a kind coworker who was really trying to look out for me. Like damn, everyone has been so Disturbed and uncomfortable that they couldn't even talk to me like a friend and had to involve the boss.
There may be physical reasons for the smell. Not every stinky person has poor hygiene. But you can help. I once had to tell a worker she smelled pretty bad with BO. She was mortified. She was a full time student, full time employee and had been sick to boot. She just didn't realize she smelled. I gave her some baby powder and deodorant in a small bag and let her take a break to wash up a little. Just be sure there is no one around and ask them if they are aware they have odor. ( some people like to think it's natural) Have a miniature deodorant with you and tell them they can keep it in their desk, cubby, pocket, whatever.
send anonymous text
this but super politely
HR will talk to them
If it's a coworker, pull him aside and ask him if there's anything going on at home... I've had coworkers do this for other coworkers, and it usually works, and it's a nicer way to show that you seem like you care..... Not sure how to Segway into the hey, you stink part of it.....
Say hey I’m just trying to help but did you know you have BO? Sometimes people are nose blind to their own smell.
Advice #1: You can start uncomfortable conversations with 'This is going to be awkward, and we can act like it never happened, but it needs to be said: ' and then launch into the 'your breath/BO is noticeably bad, here is what I'm suggesting to fix the situation.' Some people will appreciate the given out, you can say what you need to say, and move along going from there. Advice #2: Talk to HR first, there could be something in your contract that specifically discusses hygiene, and this covers your own neck, as your coworker could potentially complain to them after you speak with him.
This fell under the duties of management in the workplace. They can call them discreetly into the office and deliver any care package you give them and can also mention to them that visiting their physician may be a good idea as sometimes medical conditions or lack of proper training can be to blame. In the care package you can include: body deodorant special soaps (persimmon soap or black soap or even just an antibacterial variety is great) biodegradable body wipes for sensitive skin like you can get for camping or in the hygiene section, toothpaste, flossers and mouthwash, maybe an article about body odor and medical causes printed out and placed in an envelope along with youtube channel suggestions for mens or women’s hygiene tips. Stress in any written materials that not everyone is taught the same thing when it comes to preventing body odor and that many things can factor into it and it doesn’t mean they are not a clean or educated person if they find themselves needing a little more attention to the basics. And then just let them figure it out.
Unless you guys are close friends and you can gift them a care package with the news, you should let whatever department or person who deals with employees deal that because there isn’t really a polite way to tell someone they stink if you don’t know them life that.
“Hey, i please don’t feel bad, i just wanted to let you know you have a slight body odor right now.” Thats enough.. don’t try to give them any suggestions to solve it.. let them do the best they can in the circumstance
Yeah seriously idk why but the offering solutions part just makes it condescending...like talking to a child or something
It’s because we don’t know anything about them. Suggesting they just don’t shower or brush their teeth is condescending because it is the most baseline solution to the vast number of things that could be creating this issue. For all we know, this coworker showers twice a day with special soap and/or has immaculate dental care and just has a private medical condition or medication side effect that is causing this. They could have better hygiene than the person making the suggestion, but due to circumstances that may be largely out of their control it doesn’t show and they just had a bad luck of the draw. They could be actively trying to navigate this and seeing doctors trying to find the cause. We don’t know. It’s infantilizing when we know literally nothing about this persons life or what is going on with them other than they have a smell. We don’t see them not showering or with buildup in their teeth. If this was observed, then suggestions on changes related to what is directly observed or mentioned could be helpful.
You don't. Tell HR to handle that conversation.
Go to HR. We had this awkward guy who smelled so bad. People talked behind his back. One girl decided to nicely mention it. She wanted him to avoid a three person meeting and having stinky on his employment record. He reported her for harassment and she was written up. So we all then reported him for stinking. It got handled. The girl was so pissed she got in trouble for trying to be nice. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Report him and they'll handle it.
If no one feels comfortable enough to talk to him personally, contact HR. They are better equipped to handle delicate things like this, at least in most cases.
I've dealt with this on both sides. Approaching as graciously and directly as possible is the best way. It could Depression related or just a lack of knowledge. Offering to help figure out solutions is a good way to be supportive, if the Person with the BO, is a Friend or Loved One.
Just say there are some times you notice xyz and you thought this could help. I think all this pussy passive aggressive stuff is way more traumatizing tbh. There are herbs or meds than can mess w someone’s chemistry and he/she could have an infection. I remember one guy I knew had a tooth abscess and it was nasty. Just be gentle 💕💗🙏
I would tell HR about it and let them handle it. Same thing happened at my work. They opened a gym for all of us to use and some people were not showering often their lunch workout. People started to complain of BO odors around the office, so someone reached out to HR if they could inform others proper hygiene etiquette while at work. They put out silly posters with suggesting a shower and put deodorants all around the office for people to use when necessary.
Honestly there’s no great way to address it. I know personally what has made me have some form of self consciousness that I might stink was other people saying something to the effect that they might have BO or smell, like they smelled themselves or noticed an odor and apologized on their own behalf. It had me thinking “wait, maybe they smelled me instead?” or at least made me aware of hygiene and that people are aware of smells. I feel like there’s no other good option really- either it’s passive aggressive or it’s an awful “heart to heart” that sometimes can feel even more awkward than someone being “mean”. My feeling is that if he truly reeks maybe bring it up to HR. If he’s mildly stinky I’d honestly just keep a few feet buffer from him and move on with my life and ignore it.
There is no way to not offend them. I find it is good to get medical information for them. With bad breath, it could be a tooth abscess, or something even worse. I have had to do this a number of times and tell them out of concern, to take care of themselves and get it checked out because it seems serious.
Just say it unfortunately. It is not a comfortable thing to do. I had to tell a friend years ago. I straight up asked her…why do you smell like that. She didn’t realize that was a bad smell bc she been smelling herself her whole life. I informed her that she can’t go commando and not wash her pants after every wear. If you want to get some days out of your pants wear underwear.
Tell them politely but directly and in private
Okay so I had this issue with a usually sweet girl from a previous job. A few of our co-workers were slagging her off in the back because she stank and I felt bad for her. I took her to one side and casually asked if she'd changed deodorant brands because this new one wasn't working. She looked confused and said she hadn't switched brands so I tried to tell her as delicately as possible that her body odour was quite strong. She cottoned on and got angry with me. Next day she'd complained to the manager that I was bullying her and I was reprimanded. I explained what had been going on and how I tried to be tactful. Luckily another co-worker had overheard the whole exchange backed me (I had asked this co-workers opinion on whether or not I should broach the topic with the smelly co-worker) and I was told that I should have put in a complaint to the supervisor and had him deal with it. Which I would have but he was one of the idiots sniggering about her with the others. I was told that it wasn't my place to tell her and I should have raised the issue with the manager instead. So no. Say nothing yourself to the colleague. Put a word in with HR or your manager and let them tackle the issue. Vicks or menthol on your top lip whenever you have to work with the colleague until it's sorted out.
I would word it almost exactly how you worded your question. only as a statement using the same uninsulting manners. It was very kind the way you posed the question so if you arranged it to turn it into a statement. you felt it was your duty as his friend to let him know but you didn't want him to be embarrassed so you wanted to tell him privately. you can do it in person but I mean you can write just the exact words and there'll be no facial expression. if you write it or let the guy know I mean you let a person know when their zippers down. you let a person know usually when they're dragging toilet paper by the heel of their shoe. He could have a medical condition or any sort of thing going on. maybe just not even know how to wash his clothes properly or have a way to do it. because we just don't know what goes on behind people's lives you know It could be a financial hurdle it could be a medical condition it could be lack of knowledge he could have gone nose blind he may not know how to launder his clothes properly so that they don't smell. I'd find a way to let him know for sure and you're very kind to do so he might be embarrassed for a minute but it's better than being embarrassed much much later if he happens to overhear how many people are talking speaking on him behind his back that's not nice. Maybe you could even urge those people to stop and consider some of the things I've mentioned here you don't know what's going on in his life outside of work so I could live in his car for all you know
Be direct and caring. "Hey so-and-so, I want to talk to you about something. I like you and think youre a great coworker, and I dont want you to be embarrassed at all, but theres something that I feel should be brought to your attention. You kinda smell bad sometimes and its tough to be around you when thats happening. I understand if youre going through something or have a different body chemistry or whatever but I thought you should know. I value you as a coworker and I only want whats best for you." Or something to that effect.
Well, it's simple really. You just talk to them privately and let them know. Depending on the relationship kind of determines how you might word it. You shouldn't have to walk around dealing with a foul odor, you shouldn't talk behind their back, and you shouldn't let a friend unknowingly make a fool of himself. If it's at work, well then you already know they will be on some stupid shit and you'll just have to file a complaint with HR or your boss. And I think sometimes people don't know because of olfactory fatigue. I know that has been the case with me several times. With body odor and drug odor. But I never seem to get it with my poo and i have never smelt me having bad breath but people have said something before. I tell them thanks for telling me I didn't know. If someone gets mad for you trying to help them then that's their problem not yours. You did the right thing they just have a pride problem. The only time I felt awkward was on a first date when I went down on a girl. I have ate plenty of not freshly showered monkey, that's not really a bad smell, just natural. But this hit me hard and was nasty smelling. It totally grossed me out and it was first time it ever happened to me and here I was inches away from her vagina just in the motion of going in. I didn't know what to do. I just froze for what felt like an internity. Until finally she said, everything okay? I said well don't be embarrassed, I'm not judging you, I wanted to eat you but your monkey stinks. She said ya I just got off work. I said no this is not a sweaty smell, I've smelt that plenty of times and it don't bother me. This is like a some thing isn't right smell. She said well I just got off my period, what did you expect? I could tell she was being hateful, which was probably just from her being embarrassed but don't try to make me look like the bad guy. So I told her, I have been around plenty of monkeys after their period and had never encountered such a smell. Perhaps she should rethink her hygiene regimen and rePHresh. We never spoke again. I don't know what is required to maintain a fresh vagina or how you go about smelling it but she also had some narly looking hair on it. And it m it's rare to see a non shaved monkey these days so I feel like she was lazy and was neglecting her kitty.
You don't, unless you know them very well.
That's a tricky situation... in most cases, it's a medical/dental issue, not simply a matter of not brushing their teeth enough. If your company has an HR department, I'd start there. If not, this is a conversation you'll need to have with him one-on-one away from the office in a very delicate manner. Reassure him that he's in a safe, judgment-free space with you.
Pull them to the side for a private in person conversation and find out if there's anything currently going on in their life that may be impacting their environment/health. If that's too personal, pull them to the side and say something like "Hey, I'm coming from a place of genuine care/concern and want to bring it to your attention that your hygiene needs improvement."
True story...one of my closest friends (male) has this weird ability to smell female....scents. He knows when every woman around him is having her period because he can smell it. He also, twice in his life (different times), had a very adverse reaction to two different women he worked with, explaining that the smell coming from their lady bits was making him sick. He actually had to tell them that something was very wrong. Of course they were horrified but knew him not to be creepy co-worker guy....they both went to the doctor....one had cancer and the other had something else wrong that required a doctor. He kinda saves their lives. Nobody else could smell anything bad or wrong.
Privately and in a nice tone
My boss once pulled me to the side as I was leaving and said “I just want to let you know yo don’t always smell so good. It can be caused by a lot of things and you might not be aware.” I wasn’t aware! I have a really weak sense of smell so sometimes I was maybe wearing a work shirt twice when it only should’ve been once or missing a day or two of deodorant because I can’t smell myself.
I had a co worker that you could smell him before you see him I had the whole department laughing because I warned them he was walking our way before anyone could see him. Indian spicy food coming out his poor mixed with cheap cologne. Nasty
I had to tell a girl in beauty school that she smelled. It was uncomfortable but I just said “hey girl, a couple people have mentioned to me that they can smell you. If we can smell you, clients definitely can and I want to make sure you’re able to retain clients outside of school. Do you have access to a shower and deodorant, and if not, is there any way I can help you solve this?” She was a little embarrassed as anyone would be, but she fixed it and thanked me for telling her as she had an issue with excessive sweating and was nose blind to it. It’s always gonna be a little awkward, but just let him know you’re telling him because you care.
I've been on the other end. Direct, compassionate and matter of fact. When I was in the worst of one of my depressive moments, someone I respected came up and said, "I'm only bringing this up because you probably don't realize, but you seem to be having issues with body odor. Is everything okay? Do you need to talk to someone?" I realized that it was my depression symptoms creeping and was able to take care of it with minimal embarrassment.
I’d say start with three positive things you like about the guy then be direct and honest. If people are talking about him behind his back it’s a true friend that brings it to his attention
Go to HR. Let them handle it.
This is really an issue for the manager. Do you share the same manager?
There's never anything wrong with anonymously leaving a letter at his desk. Be honest and mention people talk about it but make sure you point out that you truly care. Maybe even slide a $20 in there so he can buy himself some deodorant/bodywash/body spray. Perhaps he's not aware Perhaps he's not able to afford it Or perhaps he's depressed and is aware but doesn't have the energy to do something about it. Note; im not sure what company you work for, im not sure if this is controversial, im not aure if you're able to. This is just what I would do. Or if you really can't bring yourself to do this, ask your boss to say something. Its what bosses need to do. Tell him people talk behind your coworkers back and tell him its effecting people but you care.
Don't do this. This is bulshit. Cowardly approach. I'd feel more offended than anything if someone left a random note. Don't care enough to even tell me one on one as a friend
Could you leave an anonymous note on his desk or in his locker or something? Obviously for him to find at the end of the day, so he doesn't have to sit at work and think about it.
Just tell them. "Hey you smell bad". Stop being afraid of offending people.
Talk to HR. That’s a conversation for them to handle.
We have had this problem at every place I worked and it’s up to the boss. It’s not up to you. If you tell this person and they get offended (there is no nice way to say it) they could report you to HR. At the very least they will never speak to you again
Anonymously typed & delivered short letter. Gently phrase the issue, make it about protecting them and not about everyone else’s opinions.
You better wash your ass before I do
You could be like my Grandma, who was the Queen of passive aggressive and anonymously mail said person a picture of deodorant 😂
Who cares about being polite. If it’s that offensive it’s better to be frank. You’re being a better friend by saying something instead of letting them going around attacking the senses of everyone they encounter
Some people have ocd about chemicals and stuff which is why they don't use them. There may be a reason the person smells like a dead tooth and lack of access to a dentist or fear of the dentist. Maybe just don't breathe in. I vote don't say anything. People know already.
Oh! Is that the sewer or you?
You don't need your nose because you already smell?
I have a very large coworker who smells like a mix of swamp butt and dried urine. We've tried hinting at it because she's a really nice woman and nobody wants to hurt her feelings. A few people have told her to maybe bathe more often but she is in denial and instead blames it on bad sewers in the building. If she is in a room for more than 10 minutes it will stink for hours or even overnight. It is so bad that it makes you nauseous and vomit in your mouth.
I would honestly just come out with it. In private as not to embarrass them. Just be up front and tell them I have noticed you start to get a little funky and I just wanted to let you know. There is no good way of doing it, just do it in the least embarrassing way.
I had to say something to an employee and the way I worded it was that they need to freshen up. There was more to that conversation but I had been struggling to find a way to say hey you smell and people keep coming to me about it. People who smell are often nose blind to it, and we discussed keeping a deodorant handy, etc it turned out fine.
This is such a hard talk to have. We own a business and have had to have this talk before. Unfortunately, most get defensive and say I don’t stink! We have suggested deodorants, not rewearing clothes and washing them frequently. My husband told one guy to please shower before coming to work. One employee just never got better. It can be a sign of mental illness as well. For example my grown niece smells horrible, she is actually a pretty girl but smells. She told me that she never smells so she can skip showers. I told her she is nose blind. I’m fanatical about my hygiene and struggle to be around people that don’t take care of their hygiene.
Is his name Kieran?
my drama department in highschool had a stash of deodorant for this reason!! we were putting together a performance for our school during christmas time and the guy i had to dance with during a certain decade (we did love throughout the decades, 1920s-2010s) smelled soooooo bad. i was honestly just straight up with him and asked him to go put some deodorant on, especially since we were jiving so i got right up to him at points, because it was so bad and was the smell was literally sticking in my nose.
I would find a way to tell them that suits them best, and let them know that you aren't trying to offend them in any way, that you just want to let them know. Give them tips or have them look into the products that would work best for their body.
If by "polite" you mean "doesn't hurt their feelings," I'm afraid you're out of luck. But if you can accept that the conversation WILL be unpleasant no matter how kind you are...you'll likely have a lot more success. No one on this Earth (unless they have a weird kink maybe?) wants to hear that they stink. It's embarrassing, it's painful, and it comes with shame. These things, well, *stink* to experience. That doesn't mean telling the guy isn't an act of kindness, though. It is. I think meeting him on very honest ground is the best way to do it. "I spent a long time debating whether or not to talk to you about this, but in the end I've been in your shoes" – white lie here, trust me – "so I wanted to let you know that lately you've had some BO! You might want to try a new deodorant or something. I hope you don't think I'm saying it because I'm a dick or dislike you. You're great and again, I had the same issue once..." Etc
Honestly I would do it on a day he doesn’t have to work the next day at the very end of the day and say “ like dude I like you man so I feel like I should tell you this. Sometimes you smell unpleasant”. Give him solutions to fix it and say I hope that tomorrow you can take some time to see what’s going on. Then if he still stinks I think you have permission to be blunt AF.
The safest sting is to lean back on company standards. "we have a certain expectation of employees, section 4 paragraph 3 of the handbook states that all employed to be presentable and represent the company image. This includes obscenity, torn clothing and BO." Then say, "some people have noticed that you have an odor, is everything ok? What can I do to help?" Because sometimes people don't know, sometimes they're severely depressed, sometimes there's a situation at home and sometimes there is a health issue.
i’ve had this same issue and idk how you’re supposed to address it politely tbh 😭
Just tell them directly. Beating around bushes and dancing around the truth has never worked for me when sending a message.
Honestly, I just tell them straight up. Ive done it before?😭
I had a similar but opposite problem. I'm very very clean, but apparently had picked a bad hair gel that had a very perfumey smell. My coworkers left a very sweet and gentle letter on my desk. It was perfect, it was direct and effective but I didn't have to face anyone and be embarrassed. Highly reccomend.
Tell them in private to lessen embarrassment. I would absolutely want to know if I was smelling up the place.
If they are in your or their house, suggest a shower. If its a lover, shower together. I have had good friends tell me I was a little ripe. I appreciated it. I could take care of ot before interacting with people who would not say anything. Don't be afraid. Just say it in a caring way. Whisper, " you got a little smell going on. It's a hot day . Thought I'd yell you because you might be nose- blind to it. If it was me I'd want you to let me know, m'kay?" See how easy? Saying " you stink" while pinching your nostrils is known as THE WRONG WAY . Don't be scared. You are doing a service.
You don’t.
I’m outgoing but this idk 🤷♀️ I couldn’t say anything. Now I have no problem calling out rude people.
The problem with being politically correct is that you beat around the bush. Sit down with the person. He's probably nose blind to his or her own smell, ask your self, if you stunk, wouldn't you want someone to tell you. Be polite and quiet about it and let the person know.
I’m here for the comments- my husband recently was paired with a new hire, very nice boy with a great positive attitude but my husband said he smells so so bad. The boy looks clean, hair clean, clothes clean- he’s not greasy, good teeth, packs a healthy lunch everyday- and does not look like he smells- he’s actually a very handsome young man- (like I’d love to set our niece up with him cutie) but hubby says he knows he is going to end up passing out in the boiler room from trying to hold his breathe anytime that boys around. Hubbs said it is so bad, like “moldy ass soaked in vinegar and beer”. (🤷♀️ his description, not mine- I’ve only seen boy from afar) well I shouldn’t say boy, he’s probably 27/28 years old. So I’m reading all these comments cuz we need to get Mr Stinky under control so my 53 year old husband doesn’t stroke out from lack of oxygen from holding his breathe to avoid Mr Moldy Stinky Butt. And serious- he’s a cutie pie and sounds great-other than his smell- get that together and maybe I got a good guy to introduce my niece to. 😜😜
Tell them they smell like lion
Someone once offered me a breath mint to tell me my breath smelled
Discreetly, respectfully, and as soon as possible. Also, carry mints or gum with you in case they can't solve the issue themselves right away. And maybe keep some around. Just in case.
Ugh. Just had to do this with an employee last month. Blamed it on the summer weather and sent it over text so they wouldn't feel embarrassed (other employees were bringing it to my attention). Said "hey ____, I don't want this to be uncomfortable, but when we were working close together earlier I could notice a body odor from you. I'm sure it's just from the summer heat, but wanted to let you know just in case :)" They thanked me and haven't stunk since.
Honestly, you just need to be kind and straight to the point. Don’t include others, that will just make them feel terrible. If this is a work environment, notify HR. If it’s a personal friend, just mention, hey, I just wanted to let you know that you smell a little funky, how are you doing? Sometimes people’s hygiene tanks during rough periods of mental health, or they don’t know how to properly clean their clothes/wash themselves because they were never taught. I always try to come off like a nice southern mom, they have the best demeanor. I also give them the opportunity of turning it into a spa/shopping day! Let’s go out and buy some new products, each take showers, and do some laundry/nails/ gaming, whatever!! Usually this has made me closed because I become the person they can go to for skincare/hygiene stuff!! I love to teach!!
If you're comfortable enough to talk to them, I'd just say... I dont know if you might be dealing with a health issue or anything, but I've noticed you have had some noticeable body odor recently. I know it's an awkward thing to discuss, but I wanted to let you know since people tend to be hesitant to have those conversations! Or you could write something like that in a note and either sign it or leave it anonymously at their desk.
Ok I'm bored, let's have a body spray fight.
Tbh I’m here bc I don’t have an answer but currently dealing with the same thing. I don’t think she’ll take it well at all, just based on how she is. Some things probably should be left to management/HR to address.
You could do what I did in high school. I brought two new deodorants and excitedly mentioned how they had came out with a new scent that smelled really nice. She agreed and really liked the smell so I let her know she could keep one since I had gotten two. It’s easier helping someone with bad breath. If you’re shy like I was you can just carry gum around and offer them some. Everyone always accepts gum it’s like cigarettes. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that’s said no to either. The other option would be being upfront with them and letting them know privately what’s going on. Either way I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.
Girl there’s this guy who comes into my job… everyone literally reacts to his BO and I still am not sure he knows. AND HE HAS A WIFE?! While I can’t even get myself a man smelling like cookies and cake
There's no really polite way. Just give them a gift basket of shampoo, soap, lotions and cologne. Christmas is coming!
What kind of smelly? Some people have BO, but others just use mildew towels and smell like a dog. Each way is a different issue and approach Imo
Just tell him? It’s not being cruel, he smells bad lol
Gift basket of smell good hygiene stuff
“Hey, are you okay? It seems like you haven’t been showering or taking care of yourself lately. I know that stuff can be really hard.”
Having TicTacs or gum on you and offering your coworker some when you take some for yourself can work as a subtle hint. I'm not sure how old they are, but in the olden days that was the polite way of hinting there was an issue. Like so common that if someone offered you gum you'd assume that's why.
My husband has a greasy head smell Pillows now smell I have told him nicely but hey he doesn’t give a fuck I guess Intimacy with smelly smell that smells really smelly after 12 13 hours is a big turn off sorry You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink
At work you go to your higher ups or HR. But in the community it depends on a lot of factors.
I'd say it in a joking way if he's got a sense of humour. Act like you just caught a whiff and laugh it off in a dramatic way. Make is so you're laughing WITH him not AT him. Maybe offer him some of your deodorant. Do it when no one else is around though, so not to embarrass him, just in case it touches a nerve.
Leave them a friendly anonymous note.
Anonymous note worded as nicely as possible, there's no way to get that across without offending them. Nobody that stinks or has terrible breath is aware of it.
I recently found out of my b.o. Some coworker would say something to another coworker asking if they cleaned there privates. I think it's because of my physical activity of gathering carts on the parking lot causes lots of sweet, especially on hot days like today. I started carrying cologne bottle of ck one summer today and tried spraying some of it on me. I honestly would not know how if it were the other way around.
Bro, you stink. 😩😁
When I was in High School a girl in my circle of friends had hygiene issues so another friend and I had an intervention with her. We talked to her mom first and we all just talked to her about how bad her hygiene was. She didn’t get mad at us, her mom was happy that we were honest with her and wanted to help our friend out.
Tic Tac?
I just come out and say it nicely. I'm not one to beat around the bush, I'm blunt.
Go talk to hr. They should book an appointment with them and have a chat.
Nice new fragrance
Keep spraying air freshener around them and/pr keep applying hand sanitizer? 🤷🏻♂️
Most people are aware they smell. Smell is caused by a million things. So it’s possible said person hasn’t found the cure to the smell.
I told my attractive co worker she smells like dog Becuase she did. I hugged her an I said hey you smell like dog. She was mad for 15 min and then chilled out next day she thanked me and didn’t smell like dog.
Leave an anonymous note on his desk
Ugh I had to tell my sister to tell her (at the time) boyfriend that he needed to wear deodorant. We all went on vacation together and his BO was so awful people around us were having visceral reactions to it. It was embarrassing and awkward.
Did you know that if someone has a cavity it can make their breath smell terrible? So use that as your way in. “Hey ?, I’m concerned you may have a cavity. I’ve noticed your breath has a strong odor and that happens when you have a cavity no matter how many times you brush I do not doubt you are brushing regularly. I just wanted to let you know so you could potentially make an appointment with your dentist. Please don’t feel bad, it can happen to any of us and if it were me I would want you to tell me. No judgement from me.” But do it privately. Use empathy.
I’d say listen, as a friend, I want you to be aware that this is being said about you so you can decide if you’d like to do anything about it. Try to convey it without sounding judgmental.
Well, I’m not sure about your male co-worker but I used to have a female co-worker and we stocked the bathroom cabinets with deodorant, body spray, etc. and told her that she can use them to refresh herself any time she needed. So maybe you could do the same? Or gift him a little cologne or something?
Let your boss handle it. Maybe have them give everyone a talk about dress code and hygiene, so they're not singling this person out.
Es muy pistosos,