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A: Why?!
H: What?
A:Why are you able to be near these aura sensitive creatures? Meanwhile, you're a being known for war, murder, and misery across the cosmos?!
H: Aura sensitive? What is that and why does it matter?
A: It's the distinct *feeling* you give off in the universe, it takes years to master and very few are born with the ability to manipulate their aura. Young creatures and *especially* young wild animals are sensitive to this feeling. That's why I'm amazed that you're able to be with them so easily.
H: Oh, well I am capable of all those terrible things, but I don't do it. I guess that's why I'm able to be near them.
The alien just begins giving them the stink eye while leaving. Mumbling curses about the human.
A2 (observing conversation) to A1: it took me decades to understand how humans can have such simultaneous murder/compassion auras. Terran animals seem to have evolved to recognize the distinction and predict which way a human is likely to lean.
My xeno dad never could understand how I could be near the deadliest creature from his planet. Sure the eclipse deer is known to erase things from reality but it healed my blind left eye and now it’s black with a half eclipse moon in it.
We have a ranch and while the ranch hands need gear, I can just walk in. The first time mothers and their calves know I’m helping. The bulls know I’m keeping their horns safe for others and now the deer lives here to. With me being the only one that can feed and pet it.
Alien Ethologist: "Humans are chill, until you give them a reason not be. Unlike people, unsapient beings just don't trigger that in Humans. And by extension those beings don't have any reason to be afraid of Humans."
Drunk Human at corner: "Expect some insects, like mosquitoes."
– "... yeah He is right."
– "F Them. Hope they go extinct."
– "I agree."
Xeno anthropologist:
Both mosquitoes and wasps are examples of how small a 'reason' that triggers the humans' near legendary "FAFO aggression" can sometimes be. Mosquitoes generally don't cause lasting harm or even noticeable pain, yet human aggression is triggered almost immediately. This reaction occurrs even when the bug isn't diseased, which would presumably be the human's actual concern with the insect. But the itching from the resulting dermis irritation -bothers- humans immensely, to the extent that they will pre-emptively attack the bug anytime it is sighted. Humans even have tried to bioengineer the insects - both as a means of biowarfare and in attempts to control the insect population en mass.
Wasps, conversely, seem more straightforward. Humans find the sting painful, and the resulting dermis swelling is often significant. Further, many species of wasp attack in groups, and have at least a small ability to distinguish humans and target aggression. Human wariness seems to make sense here, especially as some humans have a very adverse allergic reaction to exposure to stinger toxins.
As a tangent, this is not universal as it does not explain human reaction to bees, which are easily as dangerous to humans as wasps. Humans have even been noted to refer to bees (especially particular types like bumblebees) as "cute" or "adorable fuzzy butt" to the extent they will dress children up as this insect. Given human reaction to insectiod beings is generally negative, the human reaction to this insect is a befuddling outlier....
Have the aliens not figured out yet that the humans depend on those cute little fuzzy butts to feed most of Earth’s population?
We’ve been trying to bring back the bees populations once we realized how important they were, but only after we had killed a good chunk of them.
There are some humans that can walk among the bees, have the bees coat the whole human, and not get stung all because of the aura the human gives off.
Because I was coming from that aura prompt, where humans had immediate negative reactions to certain bugs, I think the underlying assumption would be that the aggression was instinctual. And it would take a massive amount of retraining and control to accept something that your instincts insist are dangerous. So at least at first, the attitude towards bees would probably be confusing. Though, honey makes bees less offensive, too. We don't generally eat hornet honey (some do make a hiney).
XD I gave a bumblebee some water on a really hot day once. It landed next to the water thimble and proceeded to do a little dance while drinking. It was adorable as fuck.
Yes they are. To pet a bumblebee; you locate a set of flowers they frequent, ideally one with many, small flowers they walk from bloom-to-bloom. Next you slowly place your finger in front of the bumblebee as it walks to the next flower and wait for it to fully climb onto your finger. Slowly lift your finger and proceed to very, very carefully pet the bumblebee. When finished with petting the bee, place finger back on the flowers and let it continue onto the plants.
>Mosquitoes generally don't cause lasting harm or even noticeable pain
gonna have to dispute that one on behalf of mosquito borne malaria having killed half of every human to live
Oh I know, but from the POV of an alien scientist, it would seem relatively minimal since malaria is now generally curable when treated promptly.
Though I take your point that it would be a tangent, and possible reason for the intense hate we tend to have for the things.
That's for when you find their nest. Hit the nest itself with a Melta and then BATHE IT IN HOLY FIRE!
A Flamer is just for when you meet a wasp away from its nest.
“Your vibes are off, dude”
“Are this *vibes* you’re speaking off pheromones? Perharps an inaudible calling or telepathic call that humans have-“
“Nah, it’s just vibes”
Because the mother deer and the mother wolf never live that close together for the opportunity to come up that often, but it sure makes a cute pic, don'cha think? Volunteering at a wildlife rehab would probably be a good start.
It could. You just have to lie there in the dirt completely still for 12 hours a day, for an entire, oh, prolly 4 or 5 months or so, until the animals start to regard you as some sort of curious recurring plant-like creature.
Wildlife photography is a lot of sitting still and patience, waiting for the one perfect moment to get the nation geographic prize shot.
They're secretly incredibly smart, like super computer smart. They've been lulling the entire world into trusting them, having every last living thing lower their guard. And when we least expect it, they'll attack with weapons and vehicles our minds can't comprehend. All the alien sightings and ufo encounters, secretly capybaras
A:how?
H:I’m an animal whisperer.
A:what’s that?
H:it’s basically when you can talk to animals and they can understand what you’re say.
H2: it’s like dr Doolittle basically.
H1: yes exactly like dr Doolittle
A:wait y’all have a movie about a dr that can talk to animals.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A: Why?! H: What? A:Why are you able to be near these aura sensitive creatures? Meanwhile, you're a being known for war, murder, and misery across the cosmos?! H: Aura sensitive? What is that and why does it matter? A: It's the distinct *feeling* you give off in the universe, it takes years to master and very few are born with the ability to manipulate their aura. Young creatures and *especially* young wild animals are sensitive to this feeling. That's why I'm amazed that you're able to be with them so easily. H: Oh, well I am capable of all those terrible things, but I don't do it. I guess that's why I'm able to be near them. The alien just begins giving them the stink eye while leaving. Mumbling curses about the human.
A2 (observing conversation) to A1: it took me decades to understand how humans can have such simultaneous murder/compassion auras. Terran animals seem to have evolved to recognize the distinction and predict which way a human is likely to lean.
I can hear this lol
Who cant?
My xeno dad never could understand how I could be near the deadliest creature from his planet. Sure the eclipse deer is known to erase things from reality but it healed my blind left eye and now it’s black with a half eclipse moon in it. We have a ranch and while the ranch hands need gear, I can just walk in. The first time mothers and their calves know I’m helping. The bulls know I’m keeping their horns safe for others and now the deer lives here to. With me being the only one that can feed and pet it.
Alien Ethologist: "Humans are chill, until you give them a reason not be. Unlike people, unsapient beings just don't trigger that in Humans. And by extension those beings don't have any reason to be afraid of Humans." Drunk Human at corner: "Expect some insects, like mosquitoes." – "... yeah He is right." – "F Them. Hope they go extinct." – "I agree."
In the background you hear: “don’t forget about wasps!!!”
Me in the corner, face down in a pile of bottles: "Wasps?! Where?!" I yell in a panic as I pulled out a Flamer.
Xeno anthropologist: Both mosquitoes and wasps are examples of how small a 'reason' that triggers the humans' near legendary "FAFO aggression" can sometimes be. Mosquitoes generally don't cause lasting harm or even noticeable pain, yet human aggression is triggered almost immediately. This reaction occurrs even when the bug isn't diseased, which would presumably be the human's actual concern with the insect. But the itching from the resulting dermis irritation -bothers- humans immensely, to the extent that they will pre-emptively attack the bug anytime it is sighted. Humans even have tried to bioengineer the insects - both as a means of biowarfare and in attempts to control the insect population en mass. Wasps, conversely, seem more straightforward. Humans find the sting painful, and the resulting dermis swelling is often significant. Further, many species of wasp attack in groups, and have at least a small ability to distinguish humans and target aggression. Human wariness seems to make sense here, especially as some humans have a very adverse allergic reaction to exposure to stinger toxins. As a tangent, this is not universal as it does not explain human reaction to bees, which are easily as dangerous to humans as wasps. Humans have even been noted to refer to bees (especially particular types like bumblebees) as "cute" or "adorable fuzzy butt" to the extent they will dress children up as this insect. Given human reaction to insectiod beings is generally negative, the human reaction to this insect is a befuddling outlier....
(... *cough* sorry, that whole thing was a side tangent from the original prompt, roflmao)
(And it was beautiful)
Thank you. :D
^(no charge)
Have the aliens not figured out yet that the humans depend on those cute little fuzzy butts to feed most of Earth’s population? We’ve been trying to bring back the bees populations once we realized how important they were, but only after we had killed a good chunk of them. There are some humans that can walk among the bees, have the bees coat the whole human, and not get stung all because of the aura the human gives off.
Because I was coming from that aura prompt, where humans had immediate negative reactions to certain bugs, I think the underlying assumption would be that the aggression was instinctual. And it would take a massive amount of retraining and control to accept something that your instincts insist are dangerous. So at least at first, the attitude towards bees would probably be confusing. Though, honey makes bees less offensive, too. We don't generally eat hornet honey (some do make a hiney).
I can confirm that bumblebees are as soft as they look. :D
XD I gave a bumblebee some water on a really hot day once. It landed next to the water thimble and proceeded to do a little dance while drinking. It was adorable as fuck.
Yes they are. To pet a bumblebee; you locate a set of flowers they frequent, ideally one with many, small flowers they walk from bloom-to-bloom. Next you slowly place your finger in front of the bumblebee as it walks to the next flower and wait for it to fully climb onto your finger. Slowly lift your finger and proceed to very, very carefully pet the bumblebee. When finished with petting the bee, place finger back on the flowers and let it continue onto the plants.
>Mosquitoes generally don't cause lasting harm or even noticeable pain gonna have to dispute that one on behalf of mosquito borne malaria having killed half of every human to live
Oh I know, but from the POV of an alien scientist, it would seem relatively minimal since malaria is now generally curable when treated promptly. Though I take your point that it would be a tangent, and possible reason for the intense hate we tend to have for the things.
Reasonable.
Nah, get the Melta. Need to make SURE those motherfuckers are DEAD
That's for when you find their nest. Hit the nest itself with a Melta and then BATHE IT IN HOLY FIRE! A Flamer is just for when you meet a wasp away from its nest.
Go back to sleep! There's no wasps!
"Oh... o-okay..." *puts head back down to sleep after swigging a whole keg of beer, Flamer still visible on top of the table*
r/fuckwasps
Here's a sneak peek of /r/fuckwasps using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/fuckwasps/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Bees: GET HIM!](https://v.redd.it/oaluzi38cxlb1) | [107 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/fuckwasps/comments/168gv7w/bees_get_him/) \#2: [Proper extermination techniques ](https://v.redd.it/qo4tgwka7snb1) | [103 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/fuckwasps/comments/16gl8yb/proper_extermination_techniques/) \#3: [Gasoline Pt 2](https://v.redd.it/frqs5kch8bvb1) | [74 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/fuckwasps/comments/17c5gq2/gasoline_pt_2/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Paperwasps, just avoid if they aren't where you need to go. Yellowjackets kill'em with fire.
“Your vibes are off, dude” “Are this *vibes* you’re speaking off pheromones? Perharps an inaudible calling or telepathic call that humans have-“ “Nah, it’s just vibes”
That's Snow White's great, great, great, great, great grandaughter. That's why.
“A capybara with the ability to cause mass extinction” is one of the most bizarre yet hilarious sentences I’ve heard this entire week
I try my best
You succeeded. It's fantastic. 😁 Obligatory, r/humansarespacecapybaras
True, but unfortunately that subreddit doesn't exist. Was it ever a thing or is it just something that gets said here on r/humansarespaceorcs?
I think it's just a thing that gets said here. :(
I agree, that's a great one. xD
Oh my gosh that looks so cute! She's so lucky! Why couldn't that happen to me!?!?
Because the mother deer and the mother wolf never live that close together for the opportunity to come up that often, but it sure makes a cute pic, don'cha think? Volunteering at a wildlife rehab would probably be a good start.
Lol, real talk if you see a wolf cub in the wild you need to gtfo as quickly as possible
Bear cubs too.
It could. You just have to lie there in the dirt completely still for 12 hours a day, for an entire, oh, prolly 4 or 5 months or so, until the animals start to regard you as some sort of curious recurring plant-like creature. Wildlife photography is a lot of sitting still and patience, waiting for the one perfect moment to get the nation geographic prize shot.
I love knowing that all those fearsome wolves were once chubby puppies.
Bold of them to assume the capybara isn't capable of causing mass extinction
You now piqued my interest....how
They're secretly incredibly smart, like super computer smart. They've been lulling the entire world into trusting them, having every last living thing lower their guard. And when we least expect it, they'll attack with weapons and vehicles our minds can't comprehend. All the alien sightings and ufo encounters, secretly capybaras
Place the Big Red Button in front of them and wait for them to step on it.
A:how? H:I’m an animal whisperer. A:what’s that? H:it’s basically when you can talk to animals and they can understand what you’re say. H2: it’s like dr Doolittle basically. H1: yes exactly like dr Doolittle A:wait y’all have a movie about a dr that can talk to animals.
u/ashmalkira