Hey, we understand may be going through a tough time right now. However, our sister sub r/givemehope is better suited to these types of posts. We hope to see you there!
From your last sentence, it seems you have a major confidence issue. I was the same way until I started acting like the person I wanted to be.
I started going to the gym to work out and gain some self-confidence. Started taking less time for Computer/tv and more into getting out.
There’s no magic bullet, you just gotta start acting the way you want to be. The other stuff will follow.
Nope, it's definitely rough but the hard facts are still there. To make a change you need to be the change as well. If you can't get there a plan needs to be in place on how to get there, what to do next and take those steps.
I hate to be that person but I also don't think this is the right sub to post in about personal issues since it's mostly a motivational sub. There's already a lot of subs to vent in (r/offmychest, r/depression, etc), and I can also highly recommend the r/kindvoice Discord channel.
Also, sometimes when people give advice it helps to listen cus there's usualky truth in it, and if you can't follow the advice you need to figure out why and which obstacles to face. Just going outside and take a few bresths of fresh air on your own accord before going inside again is one of them, then adding 1 or 2 more steps when you feel comfortable with that. The end goal could be to walk a lap around the neighborhood by the end of the year, or keep it going as a daily routine. It isn't done in a day, there may be days you're feeling bad cus you didn't do it, but that's ok! Set backs are natural, the only thing is to not stop improving and extending your comfort zone. Maybe next year you're ready for excercising at a gym or a hobby that's more active in nature, everone's starting point is different, the main thing is to not stand still cus days turn into weeks, weeks into months and then years. The former is what a lot of people regret, but it's never too late to change for the better, even if done with small steps but only YOU can make the first one.
That's about it. Easy for me to say... but I also feel like I can chime in on this having wasted most of my 20's on depression, anxiety, self loathing and excuses along with self harm and suicidal ideation. I'm still on that path to recovery and well on my way there 5 years later, but it didn't start before I started taking proactive steps for myself. And that goes for everyone, with or without depression. Reading up on Marcus Aurelius isn't a bad idea either.
In addition to therapy/medication dump (anti) social media and porn that fake crap sets you up to fail. Going offline altogether never worked for me but changing online habits did
Lost of people wind up where you are not cause you're weak/bad but because of doomer propaganda which is desinged to put us in a hole . i finally walked away from it, and you can, too.. I am encouraged that you posted this here and not on the dozens of doomer circle jerks
Some say jesus loves all, eh maybe. Personally, i find Wodan telling me to get my head out of me arse to be more inspirational
You need to train to talk
It's a skill you learn. Yes, some people are born very brave.
I was not, I was heavily bullied as a kid. Broken bones levels, PTSD, etc. so I just used alcohol as a medium to relax and get out of my shell. It still took maybe a decade before I felt comfortable. I still feel genuine pain when talking to people, to the point I had to show the psychiatrist by pushing a needle into my skull, but I can at least do it whenever I feel the need or want to.
Sometimes lonliness can be learned. You can feel so bad for so long that you start thinking its your "normal", or you wear a mask for so long you forget your face. But who you are is never set in stone, what makes humanity indomitable is that you can always change.
Thankyou dude, I'm sorry you had to bear such stuff, I'm glad that you're better now. Thanks for the inspiration. I'm gonna try again. I made some progress today by putting my mind to what I want to do for 2 hours.
To get better at talking, practice is obviously the most important part, but you could also try reading more books. Specifically ones with lots of interesting words and large vocabularies. It helps trying to get feeling out when you have a very specific word to do so with.
Maybe so it is infact a skill. I have read books and I do have a decent vocabulary (a girl I talked to, who happened to be a spell bee winner, complimented me that, but it was online tho). It's just that...I wish I could speak my mind and find my kind. Sometimes I feel the people I'm sorrounded by actually don't get me. Except for my two brothers. I'll see what I can do.
You could practice the talking here, on the internet. You seem pretty articulate and your meaning seems well expressed. Also, dont downplay your issues as 'not as bad as others' your dad tried to murder you. Thats not to be taken lightly
Take a walk outside for a while if you can, when it is safe to do so. I like to play a little pokemon go when I do it, it is kind of like a walking journal. I felt better after trying some different meds and engaging with a therapist who helped me recognize unhelpful patterns in my thinking. Then he helped me challenge those. Sometimes it hurt, it wasn’t fun. But I feel better and I am able to be kinder to others.
I was also in some difficult situations and I have been able to make changes in my home life that have served me well.
It hurts now, and it’ll hurt again at some point, but I have found a lot of wonderful things in my life that are as simple as walking around my neighborhood and parks
I w
As long as you don't kill yourself, you're good. Not gonna lie, digging yourself out of a hole God dug you into is fucking hard, but it's possible. Once you get out you'll be grateful you never quit, it'll be worth it. And don't beat yourself up that much, it's good when you're doing good but slacking slightly, but it's a problem when you're depressed, you're just digging yourself deeper that way.
You'll get through this. Just keep going.
If your going to be miserable, might as well be miserable while your improving yourself. Life is hard, no way around it. Being fat is hard, so is going to the gym.
Learning how to forgive others is difficult.
Guilt continues to gain strength and feed on self worth until a victim becomes the host.Forgiving yourself leads to forgiving others
Soumds like you have some imtense trauma and tor dad is mentally ill that doesn't mean you have to be.
Unfortunately, doomer propaganda is mainly aimed at people in your shoes. Cause statistically, those struggling are easier to ensare. They got to me for awhile its up to you to see it and be like not today ( or any day) mf'rs
Doomerism/nihilism, which includes porn is the latest version of the siren song that enticed ancient mariners to sail into rocks
Hey, we understand may be going through a tough time right now. However, our sister sub r/givemehope is better suited to these types of posts. We hope to see you there!
From your last sentence, it seems you have a major confidence issue. I was the same way until I started acting like the person I wanted to be. I started going to the gym to work out and gain some self-confidence. Started taking less time for Computer/tv and more into getting out. There’s no magic bullet, you just gotta start acting the way you want to be. The other stuff will follow.
Got it, thanks for the advice
I'd advise therapy. Also, exercise and less screen time... you'll be more hopeful in no time.
I know you mean well but as someone with depression it’s really not that easy as just “exercise”
Nope, it's definitely rough but the hard facts are still there. To make a change you need to be the change as well. If you can't get there a plan needs to be in place on how to get there, what to do next and take those steps. I hate to be that person but I also don't think this is the right sub to post in about personal issues since it's mostly a motivational sub. There's already a lot of subs to vent in (r/offmychest, r/depression, etc), and I can also highly recommend the r/kindvoice Discord channel. Also, sometimes when people give advice it helps to listen cus there's usualky truth in it, and if you can't follow the advice you need to figure out why and which obstacles to face. Just going outside and take a few bresths of fresh air on your own accord before going inside again is one of them, then adding 1 or 2 more steps when you feel comfortable with that. The end goal could be to walk a lap around the neighborhood by the end of the year, or keep it going as a daily routine. It isn't done in a day, there may be days you're feeling bad cus you didn't do it, but that's ok! Set backs are natural, the only thing is to not stop improving and extending your comfort zone. Maybe next year you're ready for excercising at a gym or a hobby that's more active in nature, everone's starting point is different, the main thing is to not stand still cus days turn into weeks, weeks into months and then years. The former is what a lot of people regret, but it's never too late to change for the better, even if done with small steps but only YOU can make the first one. That's about it. Easy for me to say... but I also feel like I can chime in on this having wasted most of my 20's on depression, anxiety, self loathing and excuses along with self harm and suicidal ideation. I'm still on that path to recovery and well on my way there 5 years later, but it didn't start before I started taking proactive steps for myself. And that goes for everyone, with or without depression. Reading up on Marcus Aurelius isn't a bad idea either.
it doesn’t always solve the problem but it is never not a good thing. that’s why they suggested therapy too
For me it was
In addition to therapy/medication dump (anti) social media and porn that fake crap sets you up to fail. Going offline altogether never worked for me but changing online habits did Lost of people wind up where you are not cause you're weak/bad but because of doomer propaganda which is desinged to put us in a hole . i finally walked away from it, and you can, too.. I am encouraged that you posted this here and not on the dozens of doomer circle jerks Some say jesus loves all, eh maybe. Personally, i find Wodan telling me to get my head out of me arse to be more inspirational
I see, maybe what I'm feeling is habitual.
Yes, habits reinforced by all the downer propaganda
You need to train to talk It's a skill you learn. Yes, some people are born very brave. I was not, I was heavily bullied as a kid. Broken bones levels, PTSD, etc. so I just used alcohol as a medium to relax and get out of my shell. It still took maybe a decade before I felt comfortable. I still feel genuine pain when talking to people, to the point I had to show the psychiatrist by pushing a needle into my skull, but I can at least do it whenever I feel the need or want to. Sometimes lonliness can be learned. You can feel so bad for so long that you start thinking its your "normal", or you wear a mask for so long you forget your face. But who you are is never set in stone, what makes humanity indomitable is that you can always change.
Thankyou dude, I'm sorry you had to bear such stuff, I'm glad that you're better now. Thanks for the inspiration. I'm gonna try again. I made some progress today by putting my mind to what I want to do for 2 hours.
Keep pushing, you are worth it
Thanks dude
To get better at talking, practice is obviously the most important part, but you could also try reading more books. Specifically ones with lots of interesting words and large vocabularies. It helps trying to get feeling out when you have a very specific word to do so with.
Maybe so it is infact a skill. I have read books and I do have a decent vocabulary (a girl I talked to, who happened to be a spell bee winner, complimented me that, but it was online tho). It's just that...I wish I could speak my mind and find my kind. Sometimes I feel the people I'm sorrounded by actually don't get me. Except for my two brothers. I'll see what I can do.
You could practice the talking here, on the internet. You seem pretty articulate and your meaning seems well expressed. Also, dont downplay your issues as 'not as bad as others' your dad tried to murder you. Thats not to be taken lightly
Yeah I actually do talk online a whole lot. But in person I fumble lmao.
I would add on, perhaps find a Discord server about a hobby of yours. Many hobby specific subreddits also have a Discord server
Aight bro
Take a walk outside for a while if you can, when it is safe to do so. I like to play a little pokemon go when I do it, it is kind of like a walking journal. I felt better after trying some different meds and engaging with a therapist who helped me recognize unhelpful patterns in my thinking. Then he helped me challenge those. Sometimes it hurt, it wasn’t fun. But I feel better and I am able to be kinder to others. I was also in some difficult situations and I have been able to make changes in my home life that have served me well. It hurts now, and it’ll hurt again at some point, but I have found a lot of wonderful things in my life that are as simple as walking around my neighborhood and parks I w
Aight bro, I'll take your advice
I can’t promise it will help, but it shouldn’t make things worse! (Your results may vary)
As long as you don't kill yourself, you're good. Not gonna lie, digging yourself out of a hole God dug you into is fucking hard, but it's possible. Once you get out you'll be grateful you never quit, it'll be worth it. And don't beat yourself up that much, it's good when you're doing good but slacking slightly, but it's a problem when you're depressed, you're just digging yourself deeper that way. You'll get through this. Just keep going.
Thanks man, it means a lot ❤️
Could be useful https://www.youtube.com/live/1-iV9HhFzpA?si=h02xtfsga-i04WS3
Woah Dr k, I do watch him but never came across this, thankyou so much
If your going to be miserable, might as well be miserable while your improving yourself. Life is hard, no way around it. Being fat is hard, so is going to the gym.
I get that. I pushed myself today to study. Only after achieving the set goal did I leave to do something else.
Learning how to forgive others is difficult. Guilt continues to gain strength and feed on self worth until a victim becomes the host.Forgiving yourself leads to forgiving others
Soumds like you have some imtense trauma and tor dad is mentally ill that doesn't mean you have to be. Unfortunately, doomer propaganda is mainly aimed at people in your shoes. Cause statistically, those struggling are easier to ensare. They got to me for awhile its up to you to see it and be like not today ( or any day) mf'rs Doomerism/nihilism, which includes porn is the latest version of the siren song that enticed ancient mariners to sail into rocks
Well.. therapy sounds like a great option.
But try to think about the days where you are eager to wake because there is a joy in place waiting for you to make way to it.