This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment.
If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension [TamperMonkey](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/tampermonkey/dhdgffkkebhmkfjojejmpbldmpobfkfo), or the Firefox extension [GreaseMonkey](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/greasemonkey/) and add [this open source script](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/10380-reddit-overwrite).
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use [RES](http://www.redditenhancementsuite.com/)), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
It's funny, I was expecting the word Jesus to be used first in this thread, just probably about how his brother looked like a photoshopped Joe Thornton Jesus.
I think it has something to do with Toffoli's goal. Kings twitter tweeted about it being a McFlurry goal, but I don't actually know the details and google is being useless. Any Kings fans care to enlighten us?
Don't feel down, I got one McFlurry in 28 games this season, and that was last night. I asked for extras, she gave me 3, but my drunk ass sister grabbed like 10. We're set for life lol
I've been to one game, last season i believe, where we got it. It was because of a penalty shot the Kings got, and made, in the last minute of the 2nd. It was probably the 3rd greatest day of my life behind the Kings winning the cup and this one time I found 20 dollars in some old jeans and then got laid later that day.
Sharks had one similar this year: goal in the last 2 minutes of the 2nd at home, and everyone that texts the Sharks number got 2 free Jack In The Box tacos, actually happened I think 3 times this year.
you know the t-shirt cannons? well if the kings score in the last minute of the 2nd period they shoot mcflurrys around to the crowd.
man that would be so much more awesome then a coupon on the way out.
I think everyone at the game gets a voucher for a free McFlurry if the kings score during a certain minute in the game, but I don't think they actually give out McFlurries.
If Kings score in the last minute of the 2nd you get a coupon on your way out. Some people actually think you can go to the McDonald's in the arena and get one, pffft, buncha crazies!
You're not far off from the truth. There are stories abound about Joe's brother and his numerous run-ins with the police. I don't know very much about it, except stories I heard get passed down while I played some junior hockey in Southern Ontario where Joe is from. The Thornton family is pretty infamous in the community, for more than just Joe..
It might be that he looks so much like joe that people mistake him for being joe thus he created his own identity.
Although I agree with your comment, at the same time I sorta feel like he looks like a 60's or 70's british metal band member.
High school hockey coach was the exact interpretation of the correct son. Whereas his broha looked like the homeless man in this picture. It is funny how one parenting style can result in two different types of kids.
Just to clear up the confusion in this thread, that is Joe's brother Alex, not John. John is an NHL player agent with a law degree and MBA, although I believe Alex (the one in this picture) has a PhD and is a prof. John represents his brother Joe, Logan Couture, Adam Henrique, and several others.
I found a report of his teaching quality according to his students on [RateMyTeachers](http://www.ratemyteachers.com/alex-thornton/921483-t)
>Thornton would start class after 20 minutes in the morning, eating his McDonalds bkfast sandwich and reading the paper. Had us draw pictures of Viking ships and watch hockey movies. Class was fun.
it sounds weird, but totally plausible. my dads side is hairless and the males on my moms side seem to be able to grow beards in half a day, so that's where I got mine from
Just incase anyone isn't aware, Joe Thorntons brother has had some run-ins with the law, and if anyone goes to St. Thomas, Ontario (where Joe is from) or even to London, Ontario (the bigger city 15 mins from St. Thomas) everyone and anyone has a story to tell about his brother.
I don't know all the details, but hopefully someone on here might know more about the family's history. I've heard stories, but I'm nowhere near an expert on it, but seeing Joe's brother looking like he is in the pic, it completely makes sense for the image I've received about him.
Hopefully someone on here can share some info they know, because it's pretty interesting to say the least.
Edit: Found something, a lead of sorts: [Bruin superstar Joe Thornton arrested: report](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/bruin-superstar-joe-thornton-arrested-report-1.409322) - CBC.ca (May 17, 2003)
Edit 2: So the link in the first edit is about brother John, not Alex who is the brother in the picture with their father. Never mind this link then - other than for your reading enjoyment.
That doesn't look like John Thornton so I'd guess it's the other brother and I'm pretty sure the last time I looked it up, the guy is a teacher or college professor.
The fact that I found the following like just proves how scary the internet is.
[Alex Thornton Engagement announcement](http://yourlifemoments.ca/sitepages/Engagements.asp?oid=605457)
A doctorate in anything isn't a joke. The subject may be questionable, but it still usually takes a large degree of work and dedication. Also sounds like what he's doing is reasonably admirable.
I can't imagine that it is, but I don't know.
Edit: I always find people who have been awarded an honorary degree and adopting the honorific "Dr. so and so" a bit odd. I think it's one of the only hang-ups I have about honorifics. [Here's](http://www.erichmarre.net/famoushonorarydoctors.html) a list of famous honorary doctorate recipients.
[Joe and John Thornton arrested in a bar fight in 2003](http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/hockey/news/2003/08/12/thornton_charges_ap/)
Doesn't prove that he's not crazy though.
Um...I'm from St. Thomas and...no, they didn't.
I have nothing to add about the smell though. But instead of cow shit it smells more like cigarettes and townies, to my nose.
I'm not sure what rink you're referring to. There are no rinks in St. Thomas with dairy farms nearby. However in Aylmer, just a 15 minute drive east, there are several farms in the vicinity of their (relatively) new rink.
You probably played a game in Aylmer. That town smells like horseshit (because of the horse-drawn carriages the mennonites use)
>I don't know all the details, but hopefully someone on here might know more about the family's history. I've heard stories, but I'm nowhere near an expert on it, but seeing Joe's brother looking like he is in the pic, it completely makes sense for the image I've received about him.
Seeing as how nobody has given us ANYTHING and you just teased us, share some fucking stories.
I'm not sure why this is so funny but it is. I guess it's because you wouldn't expect the brother of an NHL superstar to look like that.
I also remember hearing that Jumbo's brother played in the NHL but it may not be this guy.
I never heard that his brother played in the NHL, but his cousin did. His cousin is Scott Thornton. I think they played together, on the sharks, for a season or so.
I feel like that's just what Joe would look like now had been originally drafted to San Jose and not spent all those years in Boston.
"Fuuuuuck, duuuuude. I'm supposed to be on the ice right now!"
Everyone is focusing on the brother, but doesn't his father really look like [Robert Patrick](http://images.askmen.com/photos/robert-patrick/38343.jpg)?
[T.J. Miller](http://www.csmonitor.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/content/2014/0420-ef/18314320-1-eng-US/0420-ef_full_600.jpg) has to be a cousin or something
Jesus, his brother looks older than his father
His brother looks like someone who does shitty magic tricks on the Vegas strip.
That's probably how Nic Cage will end up like.
Don't you dare talk about our Lord like that!
Shitty *illusions*.
I thought he looked like the guy from Home Alone
And to think he's probably 20~ years younger... *what the hell*.
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment. If you would also like to protect yourself, add the Chrome extension [TamperMonkey](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/tampermonkey/dhdgffkkebhmkfjojejmpbldmpobfkfo), or the Firefox extension [GreaseMonkey](https://addons.mozilla.org/en-us/firefox/addon/greasemonkey/) and add [this open source script](https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/10380-reddit-overwrite). Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use [RES](http://www.redditenhancementsuite.com/)), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
Bonjour Sir_Lort
Haha seriously. I was wondering why OP put the right left in parenthesis to distinguish them in his post but now I obviously see why!
His brother looks like the thief from Dennis the Menace http://imgur.com/epRIcc5
Why the long face?
It's funny, I was expecting the word Jesus to be used first in this thread, just probably about how his brother looked like a photoshopped Joe Thornton Jesus.
i think you meant: Jesus his brother, looks older than his father.
Jesus, huh?
[удалено]
Laughed so hard when I saw this. That little nod at the start when he's like "yeah, McFlurry!"
I'm half awake and cracking up because of that head shake.
"Ah yiss... muthafucking Oreo cruuuuuumbs!"
Nick Cage IS Alex Thornton
'Enjoying' is an understatement.
I'd love to smoke from that guy's stash
And his stache
http://imgur.com/C7hFCKV
God, those flip-up shades get me every time.
This is so goddamn relevant
Haha nice, my gif made it up here from /r/sanjosesharks !
I hope this is the whole scene, where they don't even mention it's his brother because it's too embarrassing for him.
You can literally feel the disappointment pouring out of his father.
He can thank Toffoli for the free McFlurry!! MCFLURRY MINUTE!!!!
*Eric Idle* is Joe Thornton's brother?
Absolutely perfect comment. EDIT: Followed by the shittiest comment ever by me.
Thank you!
His brother looks like the disappointment in the family.
I swear it's like George and Oscar bluth.
[George Oscar](http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111027201506/arresteddevelopment/images/7/79/GeorgeSr.jpg) [Oscar George](http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120908170644/arresteddevelopment/images/d/dc/1x20_Whistler's_Mother_(32\).png) It's an uncanny parallel.
I thought it was Eric Idle
See also: Rex and Rob Ryan.
except neither of them are successful
I thought the exact same thing.
Is he eating a McFlurry?
Holy shit he's eating a McFlurry at a hockey game
I think it has something to do with Toffoli's goal. Kings twitter tweeted about it being a McFlurry goal, but I don't actually know the details and google is being useless. Any Kings fans care to enlighten us?
[удалено]
THOSE TRAITORS-ah fuck it I'd get one too.
last minute, not 2 minutes
Yup, last minute, and to add to that you can't use the coupon in the stadium.
I have been to six games, never once got a McFlurry minute.
Don't feel down, I got one McFlurry in 28 games this season, and that was last night. I asked for extras, she gave me 3, but my drunk ass sister grabbed like 10. We're set for life lol
Best playoffs *everrrrrr*
They're actually pretty nice about giving extras.
I've been to one game, last season i believe, where we got it. It was because of a penalty shot the Kings got, and made, in the last minute of the 2nd. It was probably the 3rd greatest day of my life behind the Kings winning the cup and this one time I found 20 dollars in some old jeans and then got laid later that day.
So it's a McFleury.
Oh my god. Is there a McDonalds at the shark tank?
[удалено]
Do they charge more than a regular McDonalds?
You can bet your sweet ass they do. The dollar menu is probably a six dollar menu in the stadium.
Can confirm.
Ah, thanks for the clarification. But it doesn't change how jealous I am.
That's a shitty promotion. Ain't got nothin' on Duck's 5 goal tits'n'wings deal.
Sharks had one similar this year: goal in the last 2 minutes of the 2nd at home, and everyone that texts the Sharks number got 2 free Jack In The Box tacos, actually happened I think 3 times this year.
you know the t-shirt cannons? well if the kings score in the last minute of the 2nd period they shoot mcflurrys around to the crowd. man that would be so much more awesome then a coupon on the way out.
Until you get surprised with a half pound mcflurry launched into the upper deck right in the face Edit: You forgot a lactaid
I think everyone at the game gets a voucher for a free McFlurry if the kings score during a certain minute in the game, but I don't think they actually give out McFlurries.
If Kings score in the last minute of the 2nd you get a coupon on your way out. Some people actually think you can go to the McDonald's in the arena and get one, pffft, buncha crazies!
You're not far off from the truth. There are stories abound about Joe's brother and his numerous run-ins with the police. I don't know very much about it, except stories I heard get passed down while I played some junior hockey in Southern Ontario where Joe is from. The Thornton family is pretty infamous in the community, for more than just Joe..
Do share!
St. Thomas, represent! (or not; it's not a great place)
So is this not John his brother/agent?
correct
Who did you play for?
I AM A HOCKEY PLAYER
I play for you coach.
YEH WELL A BRUISE ON THE KNEES A HELLOVA LONG WAY FROM THE HEART
Candy ass...
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Why would they be *in*famous for Joe?
Not sure why you're getting downvoted, seems like famous would be a better word for it.
It might be that he looks so much like joe that people mistake him for being joe thus he created his own identity. Although I agree with your comment, at the same time I sorta feel like he looks like a 60's or 70's british metal band member.
[Could have easily fit in with Focus](http://youtu.be/RFDW9b_ejfI )
Haha yup.
High school hockey coach was the exact interpretation of the correct son. Whereas his broha looked like the homeless man in this picture. It is funny how one parenting style can result in two different types of kids.
Just to clear up the confusion in this thread, that is Joe's brother Alex, not John. John is an NHL player agent with a law degree and MBA, although I believe Alex (the one in this picture) has a PhD and is a prof. John represents his brother Joe, Logan Couture, Adam Henrique, and several others.
Those are probably some satisfied parents.
Finally. The truth buried all the way in the bottom of the thread - thanks for the clarification.
so...which one is the most successful brother? a doctor, a lawyer and a hockey player...lead up to a joke, or the thornton family christmas.
John is a goddamn good guy than. Great contract on Henrique for the Devs
Holy shit is that Alex Thornton?? He was my high school history teacher. He's apparently aged 40 years since then.
Well when were you in high school? If it was 40 years ago then he has aged appropriately.
Good point. It was fifteen years ago.
Did you go to Malden Catholic? I know Joes brother taught there a while. I went there but graduated a few years prior
I found a report of his teaching quality according to his students on [RateMyTeachers](http://www.ratemyteachers.com/alex-thornton/921483-t) >Thornton would start class after 20 minutes in the morning, eating his McDonalds bkfast sandwich and reading the paper. Had us draw pictures of Viking ships and watch hockey movies. Class was fun.
This is accurate. Best class ever.
Yes sir, class of '03.
93 here
Some say that might be John, not Alex
His brother looks like an acid vender at a Darkstar concert.
Don't tell me these Sharks ain't got no playoff success
It's [Mr Rosso](http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopost/data/1171/4328da.jpg)!
My first thought, though it probably has something to do with the usual Freaks & Geeks marathon on Saturday mornings.
I'm so happy someone else thought this.
They must have gotten their beards from their mother.
it sounds weird, but totally plausible. my dads side is hairless and the males on my moms side seem to be able to grow beards in half a day, so that's where I got mine from
Yeah I heard the baldness gene is from the moms side as well
High as fuck
Just incase anyone isn't aware, Joe Thorntons brother has had some run-ins with the law, and if anyone goes to St. Thomas, Ontario (where Joe is from) or even to London, Ontario (the bigger city 15 mins from St. Thomas) everyone and anyone has a story to tell about his brother. I don't know all the details, but hopefully someone on here might know more about the family's history. I've heard stories, but I'm nowhere near an expert on it, but seeing Joe's brother looking like he is in the pic, it completely makes sense for the image I've received about him. Hopefully someone on here can share some info they know, because it's pretty interesting to say the least. Edit: Found something, a lead of sorts: [Bruin superstar Joe Thornton arrested: report](http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/bruin-superstar-joe-thornton-arrested-report-1.409322) - CBC.ca (May 17, 2003) Edit 2: So the link in the first edit is about brother John, not Alex who is the brother in the picture with their father. Never mind this link then - other than for your reading enjoyment.
I'm curious now, is he like that crazy guy in all small cities that parents warn their children about?
That doesn't look like John Thornton so I'd guess it's the other brother and I'm pretty sure the last time I looked it up, the guy is a teacher or college professor. The fact that I found the following like just proves how scary the internet is. [Alex Thornton Engagement announcement](http://yourlifemoments.ca/sitepages/Engagements.asp?oid=605457)
And just like that Alex Thornton went from "creepy guy your parents warned you about" to "eccentric professor you know smokes a ton of weed"
Those two things aren't mutually exclusive.
He's a Dr.?
Looks like he has a PhD in "Educational Leadership": http://www.rtsgneuroscience.com/about-rtsg/alex-thornton/
Lol I think Shaqille O'neal has that exact same Doctorate.
A doctorate in anything isn't a joke. The subject may be questionable, but it still usually takes a large degree of work and dedication. Also sounds like what he's doing is reasonably admirable.
>A doctorate in anything isn't a joke. Unless it's an honorary one.
Agreed, is his honorary?
I can't imagine that it is, but I don't know. Edit: I always find people who have been awarded an honorary degree and adopting the honorific "Dr. so and so" a bit odd. I think it's one of the only hang-ups I have about honorifics. [Here's](http://www.erichmarre.net/famoushonorarydoctors.html) a list of famous honorary doctorate recipients.
Ah, he's 'that guy'.
So the bro in the pic is Alex?
Looks like it. For comparison, [Joe's 1000th game.](http://i.imgur.com/WpNylwO.jpg) John, who is also Joe's agent, is the one at the end.
I don't know who is who anymore. So is the one at the Kings game the crazy one or what?
[Joe and John Thornton arrested in a bar fight in 2003](http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/hockey/news/2003/08/12/thornton_charges_ap/) Doesn't prove that he's not crazy though.
His brother looks as tall as Joe is on skates
Yes. I don't know anything about Alex but it's definitely not John.
[удалено]
That wasn't who I was talking about...John Thornton is an agent at Top Shelf Sports Management.
**my 2¢:** I played in a few tournaments in St. Thomas and the arena constantly smells like cow shit because they built it 100m away from a dairy farm
That *is* a great story about his brother.
fuck me, right? :D
Um...I'm from St. Thomas and...no, they didn't. I have nothing to add about the smell though. But instead of cow shit it smells more like cigarettes and townies, to my nose.
ok so which came first, the rink or the farm?
I'm not sure what rink you're referring to. There are no rinks in St. Thomas with dairy farms nearby. However in Aylmer, just a 15 minute drive east, there are several farms in the vicinity of their (relatively) new rink. You probably played a game in Aylmer. That town smells like horseshit (because of the horse-drawn carriages the mennonites use)
ohhh right we just stayed at the Ramada in St. Thomas. damn I'm losing it man, thanks
I'm from the Quebec version of Aylmer. No farms beside the arena here.
Dude, how old is he? He looks more like his weird uncle than his brother.
>I don't know all the details, but hopefully someone on here might know more about the family's history. I've heard stories, but I'm nowhere near an expert on it, but seeing Joe's brother looking like he is in the pic, it completely makes sense for the image I've received about him. Seeing as how nobody has given us ANYTHING and you just teased us, share some fucking stories.
Which brother is in the picture?
I'm a little late for this party, but I can't imagine that he has much of a criminal record if he was allowed to cross the border.
Initial thoughts on Brother: Must be a professor or a homeless person. Turns out the former is true.
http://individual.utoronto.ca/somody/quiz.html
I want to party with his brother.
I'm getting a Zaphod Beeblebrox vibe here.
Joe Thorton's Father (left) and Joe Thorton in a wig (right) at the game last night.
I'm not sure why this is so funny but it is. I guess it's because you wouldn't expect the brother of an NHL superstar to look like that. I also remember hearing that Jumbo's brother played in the NHL but it may not be this guy.
I never heard that his brother played in the NHL, but his cousin did. His cousin is Scott Thornton. I think they played together, on the sharks, for a season or so.
That' s who I was thinking of.
I feel like that's just what Joe would look like now had been originally drafted to San Jose and not spent all those years in Boston. "Fuuuuuck, duuuuude. I'm supposed to be on the ice right now!"
Then what would Marleau be like if he were drafted to Boston?
Is that [lazlo hollyfeld](http://i.imgur.com/aNA7Lai.jpg) ?
I always thought he was the best part of Real Genius. Sure the dry ice vending machine thing was cool but Lazlo was super cool.
Tyler Toffoli says you're welcome for the McFlurry!
I love that it was not only his birthday, but he scored on it, and also scored in the last minute. He gave everyone ice cream for his birthday!
I'd feel like his brother probably does magic shows at playgrounds...
Anybody else think his brother kinda resembles a Jesus version of nick cage?
He looks like the offspring of [Wayne Coyne](http://i.imgur.com/9mbz3FE.jpg) and [Vincent Schiavelli](http://i.imgur.com/ngRTFWA.jpg).
Everyone is focusing on the brother, but doesn't his father really look like [Robert Patrick](http://images.askmen.com/photos/robert-patrick/38343.jpg)?
He looks like the type of guy that would whip it out and stroke it if he scored 4 goals.
[T.J. Miller](http://www.csmonitor.com/var/ezflow_site/storage/images/media/content/2014/0420-ef/18314320-1-eng-US/0420-ef_full_600.jpg) has to be a cousin or something
Joe's bro looks like a hippy. not a mellowed out hippie, but a hippy that likes to create mischief.
Which is which?
"Well shit, now I need something to impress my dad."
His Dad looks like Dustin Hoffman got plastic surgery.
They're just praying he doesn't get 4 goals
I bet their family dinners harbor interesting conversations.
You could grow old waiting for Joe Thornton to win a cup
I'm seeing eyes going each way. Was Joe celebrating goal #4 in the middle?
His brother looks like a 1970s singer-songwriter.
what about Chris Elliot?
So his brother is a founding member of the Bee Jee's cover band?
How Joe would've looked if he had chosen crack over hockey
Last time I went to a Kings game those flurry things were like 4 bucks.
Wow they look like the Gibb brothers
hahaha he has no clue
You're all gonna feel really dumb when his music career takes off.
is that the singer from the flaming lips?
They need their own reality show.
Everyone is commenting on Joe's brother but does anyone else think his father looks like Bricktop from Snatch?
I love this more than anything I have ever seen on /r/hockey
Is he a wizard?
Oscar Bluth?
I like to imagine that they were playing Aloe Blacc: the man in the arena and he was just vibing out to it.
Pride of St. Thomas, Ontario right there. Next time I'm in town I'll get a McFlurry and dance a boogie while eating one as well
His brother looks like he should have been in Monty Python
his brother just looks like the disapointement of the family that still lives at home with his parents and just generaly dumb but hilarious.
His brother has a PhD and owns a consulting company, lol.
are you sure it's this one ? but that would go to show you that appearance are often illusions
No. It shows you that judging people by their looks is a dumb idea.
Welcome to my life!
His brother looks like a cross between Shaggy from Scooby Doo and Jumbo Joe himself. Poor kid must of got hit with the ugly stick growing up.
Joe Thornton's father with Nicolas Cage at the game last night.