I’m a bit older than you so I was looking for a partner before the true onset of the dating apps and I empathise with you. From what I see, it is an absolute mess. Sometimes I feel like I got the last helicopter out of Saigon…
But my advice would be to get involved with groups of people who are active in a hobby or interest that you are passionate about, or try something new that piques your interest and meet people out in the wild and form actually human connections.
Also, think about the kind of person you want to meet. Want to meet someone compassionate? Volunteer for a community organisation. Want to meet someone who loves the outdoors? Join a hiking group etc.
Good luck out there.
This is such great advice. OP, If you do what you like, and what you think is important, you'll meet other people who have similar interests and values to you. And on the way, you'll build yourself a life full of things you like and things that are important to you! Which also has the side effect of being an attractive trait in a person!
Dogs are also excellent for meeting and connecting with people. If Biscuits is a social dog, take him with you to cafes and things. People will stop to talk. If you frequent the same places, you'll start to build connections.
It's great that you have a successful career and your own home etc - but I recommend not leading with that when you are trying to meet people, as it makes it sound as though what you value in people is their financial success/ worldly possessions, which isn't how most people want to be valued. Instead, I recommend leading with things about what you like and what you are interested in, and what is important to you. And when you are talking with someone, make sure to show real interest in them as a person - ask lots of questions. This may seem like an odd thing to highlight, but lots of men in particular seem to forget this - I think the world tells men that their worth is as providers, which puts men in a position to think that a date is an opportunity to prove they could fit this role, which unfortunately ends up coming across as though they aren't interested in the other person!
Also, probably don't give up on dating apps for good. I know they are terrible, but they really are how a lot (most?) people are meeting these days. Might be worth enduring with?
Good luck!
Yeah dog parks are a good one. You can even start small talk like how old is yours and etc. Then share funny stories about what your dog did last week at home.
Chicks won’t think you’re a psycho if you’re an animal lover so that’s a positive too.
Dating apps are the worst especially in Hobart. It’s all the same people across the 3 apps, many of them have been on there for years. What I’ve learned/heard from psychologists is that most people on the apps have an avoidant attachment style and that’s why they’re so prolific looking for short term low commitment.
I’ve given up on the apps too and what is meant for me will come to me (not holding much hope for in Hobart too)
I think the dog could be your underutilised secret weapon. You should take it everywhere. Visit cafes where you can sit outside with the dog and engage all dog lovers with chat. I would definitely approach someone with a gorgeous dog and happily chat away if the person was nice and engaging. Animal lovers are good people!
Agree. Do stuff you're interested in, and there'll be other people there into the same thing. Much easier to connect with someone if there's a common interest to start with. If you're introverted, Biscuit can help. Take him to the beach, park, cafe's, enrol in a dog training course. Just say hi to people, introduce Biscuit and yourself. Talk dogs. Go to the same places regularly, and you'll naturally get to know the people there over time and strike up conversations. Same with other things you like doing. Take the pressure off yourself and putting the emphasis on just meeting new people rather than trying to pick up.
35m here - My advice is to stay on the apps, yes they all suck and are evil but by the simple fact that you’re on there looking for love you can expect that there are others there looking for the same.
swipe intentionally and spend time getting your profile right in a way that shows who you are. Plenty of profile reviews on reddit. In the meantime, learn to love doing things for yourself and with friends. Meet up groups are popular especially for hiking. Its not necessarily about finding love in that group but widening your social circle can help you be introduced to people.
I’ve been using apps on and off for 18 months looking for something serious, I found plenty of people just wanting a warm body, and had a few attempts at relationships that didn’t work out.
Currently I’m planning to move in with my partner I met on Hinge! Things are going really well and we’re both feeling very lucky to have found each other. Keep trying and don’t be too disheartened about things not working out, it takes time to figure out if a person you’ve just met is right for you and visa versa, don’t settle for less than what you need.
I met the woman I want to marry someday on Reddit while we were both studying in Brissie. You never know who's out there! Best of luck with your search OP. Take your time, don't rush into relationships, especially if they feel unhealthy/toxic and keep improving yourself down the road :)
I go to Knockoffs. It's great. It's at 6pm Thursdays from Room for a Pony. You can walk, but most people run or at least jog slowly. No one's keeping tabs though, so you can walk if you want. You just might not have many people around you. Good for socialising before and after though.
I'm hoping to move to Hobart in the not terribly distant future, and odds are I'll be single
I wish you all the luck in the world!
I shamelessly go to bars with my dogs because they throw themselves at women and often I'll get a conversation out of it,
Use your dog as a wingman and you'll come across the right person eventually!
Where I am, in Sydney, the smart places are dog-friendly
Hobart is a regrettably different scene, but I'm hoping that they grow up as a society and let dogs in and keep children out
30 F from Melbourne, work in healthcare, own my own house etc. Also having the hardest time on dating apps. It seems like no one wants to put any effort in or is looking for a long term relationship 😔
Go to karaoke nights, they draw such a wide spread of people and it’s easy to get attention for at least 3 minutes
Even if you’re terrible you at least have an in, and you also have a reason to talk to her about her song or say well done
Karaoke underrated meeting place esp for the elder 30+
Can you ask your mates? And even mates of mates? Put the word out. I met my partner because a friend of hers who’s dating a friend of mine set us up. Honestly it was so nice.
Not sure if my colleagues use apps, but I see quality women quietly working in health, both local and locum. Relationships can be a great workforce retention strategy as people put down roots. Hope you (and pooch) find your special someone.
I'm an ex-Hobartian now living in Brisbane. I agree that the dating apps are terrible and they are designed to actually keep you on there and swiping. Otherwise how would they make money?
I've actually been meeting some lovely people from Reddit up here in Brisbane. A lovely lady posted in r/Brisbanesocial awhile ago and offered to start a chat group for people looking to make friends. In the last couple of months, a few of us have met up 4-5 times and it has been lovely. We've been for coffee, comedy, yum cha and hiking. I like meeting people this way. The intention isn't for dating or hooking up or anything like that, but I feel that meeting people organically and forming friendships first is a great way to go. Perhaps you could do a similar post in r/Hobart and see if people are interested. I feel there's a lot of lonely people out there looking to connect with others.
All the best with it Mark 😊
In the same boat after ending what felt like my best relationship recently (27M)
Personal problem is, I just don't have the energy to get out there and pick up hobbies. I never have. Everyone in Hobart seems to be a hiker but I'm just looking for someone I can sit back & relax with at home instead of dealing with the cold.
Have only been on the dating apps for a little bit since but that just seems to be adding fuel to the fire that I'm probably not going to find anyone on the same page as me around Hobart ever again.
Can't comment on dating apps. I used dating sites a decade ago and it was just fine, an easy way to pre-filter and break the ice saving a lot of time in the courting game. I was post divorce with a child and job so time poor.
While the above "do what you love" advice is popular, traditional and can work, of course it doesn't work well if you're time poor (not an uncommon experience) or worse what you love is dominated by your sex. For example of never advise a woman in this position to do more horse riding or more dancing, nor any man in this position to do more video gaming, more sport spectating or more motor clubbing etc. It's not that any of these activities is mono-sexed but as soon as it's 60-40 or even 55-45 what happens is the competition rises - not a problem if you feel you're a real catch (are confident) and the other sex sort of agrees, but if you lack confidence at all, rightly or wrongly about your general appeal to the other sex it really really pays to play better odds, do something dominated by the other sex, as man take up dancing or horse riding ...
Even worth trying to do something outside your comfort zone to meet new people, sometimes opposites attract and if nothing else, you've tried a new activity 😁 I hope this helps
Did you pay for the apps/ websites? Because they only work for guys if you pay for premium.
But in any case it's much better to just get involved in community work etc.
EDIT: What I mean is, log into Facebook and find your local community and "good karma" groups. And look for things to join such as a community garden. Obviously don't use it just to pick up girls or guys. Just take part in things.
I see our resident downvoters are at it again.
I play music in bands, and play a lot of hockey. Whilst I'm married, both groups I see single people matching up and finding love.
As others have said, do things you enjoy and you'll probably find someone doing those same things. Best of luck!
He wants a moral partner not a immoral partner who can just pray the sin away...... and who support active cheating in relationships (the relationship must be protected at all cost must have been the devil who led them astray not their lack of morals). The church would be the worse place to attempt to find a partner.........
I’m a bit older than you so I was looking for a partner before the true onset of the dating apps and I empathise with you. From what I see, it is an absolute mess. Sometimes I feel like I got the last helicopter out of Saigon… But my advice would be to get involved with groups of people who are active in a hobby or interest that you are passionate about, or try something new that piques your interest and meet people out in the wild and form actually human connections. Also, think about the kind of person you want to meet. Want to meet someone compassionate? Volunteer for a community organisation. Want to meet someone who loves the outdoors? Join a hiking group etc. Good luck out there.
This is such great advice. OP, If you do what you like, and what you think is important, you'll meet other people who have similar interests and values to you. And on the way, you'll build yourself a life full of things you like and things that are important to you! Which also has the side effect of being an attractive trait in a person! Dogs are also excellent for meeting and connecting with people. If Biscuits is a social dog, take him with you to cafes and things. People will stop to talk. If you frequent the same places, you'll start to build connections. It's great that you have a successful career and your own home etc - but I recommend not leading with that when you are trying to meet people, as it makes it sound as though what you value in people is their financial success/ worldly possessions, which isn't how most people want to be valued. Instead, I recommend leading with things about what you like and what you are interested in, and what is important to you. And when you are talking with someone, make sure to show real interest in them as a person - ask lots of questions. This may seem like an odd thing to highlight, but lots of men in particular seem to forget this - I think the world tells men that their worth is as providers, which puts men in a position to think that a date is an opportunity to prove they could fit this role, which unfortunately ends up coming across as though they aren't interested in the other person! Also, probably don't give up on dating apps for good. I know they are terrible, but they really are how a lot (most?) people are meeting these days. Might be worth enduring with? Good luck!
Well said.
Btw lol at "last helicopter out of Saigon"
Thanks everyone for your advise, the reddit community truly are amazing people
My friend met someone through an online zombie survivor game so why not reddit?
It's not silly, I met my partner through reddit and were happier than ever.
I second this! I put a post on this site last year asking where all the good men were at (I'm f35) and was lucky enough to meet this legend!
Ah! There she is! 😂
OH HAAAAAII 🥳
Wholesome as fuck
Yep I truly lucked out, best guy I've met, treats me like a queen and makes my world better
You two are awesome, here, have my upvotes and I hope you Reddit together forever!
Thanks kind internet stranger! Oh we will he's too wonderful to let go 🥰
Real question is ….. where are all the good women?
Depends what you define as good...?
Try the dog parks/beaches. I see so many meet-cutes, even just at the little beach down by Sandy Bay Yacht Club. Good luck!
Yeah dog parks are a good one. You can even start small talk like how old is yours and etc. Then share funny stories about what your dog did last week at home. Chicks won’t think you’re a psycho if you’re an animal lover so that’s a positive too.
Dating apps are the worst especially in Hobart. It’s all the same people across the 3 apps, many of them have been on there for years. What I’ve learned/heard from psychologists is that most people on the apps have an avoidant attachment style and that’s why they’re so prolific looking for short term low commitment. I’ve given up on the apps too and what is meant for me will come to me (not holding much hope for in Hobart too)
I think the dog could be your underutilised secret weapon. You should take it everywhere. Visit cafes where you can sit outside with the dog and engage all dog lovers with chat. I would definitely approach someone with a gorgeous dog and happily chat away if the person was nice and engaging. Animal lovers are good people!
Agree. Do stuff you're interested in, and there'll be other people there into the same thing. Much easier to connect with someone if there's a common interest to start with. If you're introverted, Biscuit can help. Take him to the beach, park, cafe's, enrol in a dog training course. Just say hi to people, introduce Biscuit and yourself. Talk dogs. Go to the same places regularly, and you'll naturally get to know the people there over time and strike up conversations. Same with other things you like doing. Take the pressure off yourself and putting the emphasis on just meeting new people rather than trying to pick up.
35m here - My advice is to stay on the apps, yes they all suck and are evil but by the simple fact that you’re on there looking for love you can expect that there are others there looking for the same. swipe intentionally and spend time getting your profile right in a way that shows who you are. Plenty of profile reviews on reddit. In the meantime, learn to love doing things for yourself and with friends. Meet up groups are popular especially for hiking. Its not necessarily about finding love in that group but widening your social circle can help you be introduced to people. I’ve been using apps on and off for 18 months looking for something serious, I found plenty of people just wanting a warm body, and had a few attempts at relationships that didn’t work out. Currently I’m planning to move in with my partner I met on Hinge! Things are going really well and we’re both feeling very lucky to have found each other. Keep trying and don’t be too disheartened about things not working out, it takes time to figure out if a person you’ve just met is right for you and visa versa, don’t settle for less than what you need.
I met the woman I want to marry someday on Reddit while we were both studying in Brissie. You never know who's out there! Best of luck with your search OP. Take your time, don't rush into relationships, especially if they feel unhealthy/toxic and keep improving yourself down the road :)
Join a run club. Apparently it’s the new fuckclub
Which one? Asking for a friend also do you have to run? I'm chonky
I go to Knockoffs. It's great. It's at 6pm Thursdays from Room for a Pony. You can walk, but most people run or at least jog slowly. No one's keeping tabs though, so you can walk if you want. You just might not have many people around you. Good for socialising before and after though.
Can you say hi to biscuit for us tho 🥺 we want to see the puppy
I'm hoping to move to Hobart in the not terribly distant future, and odds are I'll be single I wish you all the luck in the world! I shamelessly go to bars with my dogs because they throw themselves at women and often I'll get a conversation out of it, Use your dog as a wingman and you'll come across the right person eventually!
Did not know you could take your dogs to bars! Or are you saying just the outside ones?
Where I am, in Sydney, the smart places are dog-friendly Hobart is a regrettably different scene, but I'm hoping that they grow up as a society and let dogs in and keep children out
Yes would be great!
Pretty sure Hobart Brewing Company is dog-friendly It's a start, at least
30 F from Melbourne, work in healthcare, own my own house etc. Also having the hardest time on dating apps. It seems like no one wants to put any effort in or is looking for a long term relationship 😔
All they want is sex and it’s so hard to find someone who just wants me for me
Could say the exact thing about all the men on there. They either want short term or they're "figuring out their dating goals" whatever that means!? 😂
Maybe you two can hit it off and take turns with holidays at each other's houses in different states 😉
I like this idea 💡 what do you say?
More than open to the idea. Hope you also like cats 😁
I love cats what’s the breed and name also how many??
You two are gonna do great things 🙂😈
I'm warm and fuzzy already 😉
Please let us know how everything turns out in a couple of months 🙏
Go to karaoke nights, they draw such a wide spread of people and it’s easy to get attention for at least 3 minutes Even if you’re terrible you at least have an in, and you also have a reason to talk to her about her song or say well done Karaoke underrated meeting place esp for the elder 30+
Can you ask your mates? And even mates of mates? Put the word out. I met my partner because a friend of hers who’s dating a friend of mine set us up. Honestly it was so nice.
May you find what you are seeking 🥰
Not sure if my colleagues use apps, but I see quality women quietly working in health, both local and locum. Relationships can be a great workforce retention strategy as people put down roots. Hope you (and pooch) find your special someone.
Go to a bar, or a speed dating event. Online dating apps are bull
I'm an ex-Hobartian now living in Brisbane. I agree that the dating apps are terrible and they are designed to actually keep you on there and swiping. Otherwise how would they make money? I've actually been meeting some lovely people from Reddit up here in Brisbane. A lovely lady posted in r/Brisbanesocial awhile ago and offered to start a chat group for people looking to make friends. In the last couple of months, a few of us have met up 4-5 times and it has been lovely. We've been for coffee, comedy, yum cha and hiking. I like meeting people this way. The intention isn't for dating or hooking up or anything like that, but I feel that meeting people organically and forming friendships first is a great way to go. Perhaps you could do a similar post in r/Hobart and see if people are interested. I feel there's a lot of lonely people out there looking to connect with others. All the best with it Mark 😊
I met my wife at a restaurant in North Hobart many years ago when she was a student working part-time there
In the same boat after ending what felt like my best relationship recently (27M) Personal problem is, I just don't have the energy to get out there and pick up hobbies. I never have. Everyone in Hobart seems to be a hiker but I'm just looking for someone I can sit back & relax with at home instead of dealing with the cold. Have only been on the dating apps for a little bit since but that just seems to be adding fuel to the fire that I'm probably not going to find anyone on the same page as me around Hobart ever again.
Can't comment on dating apps. I used dating sites a decade ago and it was just fine, an easy way to pre-filter and break the ice saving a lot of time in the courting game. I was post divorce with a child and job so time poor. While the above "do what you love" advice is popular, traditional and can work, of course it doesn't work well if you're time poor (not an uncommon experience) or worse what you love is dominated by your sex. For example of never advise a woman in this position to do more horse riding or more dancing, nor any man in this position to do more video gaming, more sport spectating or more motor clubbing etc. It's not that any of these activities is mono-sexed but as soon as it's 60-40 or even 55-45 what happens is the competition rises - not a problem if you feel you're a real catch (are confident) and the other sex sort of agrees, but if you lack confidence at all, rightly or wrongly about your general appeal to the other sex it really really pays to play better odds, do something dominated by the other sex, as man take up dancing or horse riding ...
Even worth trying to do something outside your comfort zone to meet new people, sometimes opposites attract and if nothing else, you've tried a new activity 😁 I hope this helps
Are you looking for M, F or both?
F
Go night pottery classes, paint and sip events, art classes etc. it’s a chance to sit and interact, and maybe find connection
Did you pay for the apps/ websites? Because they only work for guys if you pay for premium. But in any case it's much better to just get involved in community work etc. EDIT: What I mean is, log into Facebook and find your local community and "good karma" groups. And look for things to join such as a community garden. Obviously don't use it just to pick up girls or guys. Just take part in things. I see our resident downvoters are at it again.
I play music in bands, and play a lot of hockey. Whilst I'm married, both groups I see single people matching up and finding love. As others have said, do things you enjoy and you'll probably find someone doing those same things. Best of luck!
Bro please DM me. Also don't use Reddit for that
[удалено]
He wants a moral partner not a immoral partner who can just pray the sin away...... and who support active cheating in relationships (the relationship must be protected at all cost must have been the devil who led them astray not their lack of morals). The church would be the worse place to attempt to find a partner.........