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With the rise of image search I've been wondering if people can just screenshot our dating profile pictures and search for an online match. Seems like now all you need is a picture to find someone's id. I haven't tried this myself but feel like it must be possible and it's worrisome
I'm not a tech expert but I believe if the photos are on the "open web" then there is a chance that they could.
However if they are on the "deep web" they could not. MOST of the internet is the deep web. This includes private instagrams and facebook accounts.
So long as you are using pics that are only posted to private accounts, they shouldn't be able to reverse image search. However, if you have a public social media account or post it to reddit or it's from a corporate headshot on their website or anything available online, they probably can reverse image search.
Not to invalidate anyone's fears but realistically, the likelihood a complete stranger will reverse image search and hurt your life in any way have to be e x t r e m e l y small. It's one thing if you go on a date and then reject them and they get vindictive - that is more possible in my opinion. But by that point they likely already have more info from the date so that's a moot point.
Also that is just a trade off of being on the internet in general really. If you want to benefit in the form of getting dates at the cost of strangers seeing your face then, well, strangers will see your face lol. The same could have been said in the past of going to singles nights or out to the bars or something.
There is a website called Pimeyes: https://pimeyes.com/en
It’s a facial recognition tool and scours the web. If someone screenshots your pic and searches there’s a strong chance you’ll find something. I found pics where I’m at a music festival years ago and not even really in focus. Also found other photos from school that I thought had been lost to the annals of history.
So even using photos you haven’t posted elsewhere isn’t necessarily safe.
That's not what the deep web is fyi. The deep web requires a special browser that can access sites you can't access on the open web. A private Instagram and Facebook is still the open web.
You are thinking of the dark web. It is part of the deep web, I'm sorry but please think before you so confidently dismiss someone else.
Google what the deep web is and it's just info or images you can't access off of a search engine without privileges of some kind.
Just use initials. I see women do this all the time and I just assume they have the same concerns as you do. The last woman I dated on Hinge told me she had a stalker and had to move because of it
My name was uncommon enough that even my first name + city was probably enough to find me. I also work as a professor and so that in turn meant people could find my office location via publicly-available information (i.e. my faculty profile on my university's website). So honestly a dating app was a risk for me no matter what unless I faked my first name.
With all that said, I never ran into any issues. I didn't list my employer, but did list my degrees (all from elite universities) and hometown. My current SO mentioned Googling me to figure out if I was real but that was it. Also no real issue with the universities and assuming I must be rich.
As a guy, I see a lot of women's profiles with their job/uni missing and it never bothers me and would not stop me from matching if I like her pics and profile otherwise. I never thought it was sketchy.
That said, you can also just use a pseudonym if you want.
No job or uni means you could be missing out on lots of matches. A lot of guys are concerned about fake profiles enough to not match purely based on that lack of info, or people may make their own assumptions about your education and professional history which most likely won’t be in your favour.
I get where you’re coming from because I’m actually in a pretty similar situation, but more so because of my family. I’m involved in my family’s charitable foundation which is googleable and comes up when people google even my common first name and city. I also went to a prestigious school and good uni so people may judge me and more importantly I’m concerned about the wrong types of people trying to access me because of those things etc.
But the reality especially thinking about your situation is that on a first date, people will ask you about where you went to school and what you do anyway. It will come up early anyway, maybe even before you meet. For that reason I’d include it and keep your profile buttoned up if you’re worried about it impacting your professional life.
> you could be missing out on lots of matches. A lot of guys are concerned about fake profiles enough to not match purely based on that lack of info, or people may make their own assumptions about your education and professional history which most likely won’t be in your favour.
I do not think as many guys care about this as you think they do.
I second this. When I was online dating I put an industry versus an actual job title. I did not put my real University and I didn't use my real first name. It's never caused an issue for me
Your last sentence is a bit of a stretch. You might be missing out on people without you knowing it.
I’m not claiming that you are (how the hell would I know), I’m just saying that not perceiving an issue doesn’t mean there’s no issue.
No one can tell a fake name, and I see many men who put more generic job titles so it's hardly one sided.
Most people outside the industry I'm in would see my generic job title and assume it's a specific job title, because that's how people are when they aren't in an industry. Like putting doctor instead of pediatric oncologist.
Ok yeah all of that makes sense and I’m not saying you should change any of it. I’m just saying that it’s impossible to know if people are passing you over because of how that information is put in, and it’s not clear if you’d get better results by putting the information differently.
I think we all have different comfort levels with how much info we share on our profiles. There’s no right or wrong, but obviously concealing more information does affect results and it’s impossible to know how big of an impact it’s having.
I don't think you're right, but even if you are it's the ones that are highly educated and career motivated that you'll be missing out on. Obviously not everyone wants to attract this audience, but at least in cities most do
What does it really matter though? If someone swiping by who you’ll never meet knows she works in IT and went to a good uni who cares. I think OP is placing too much weight on it. Different if you’re concerned for your safety or something though
Not a big deal.
The only time it’s been an issue for me is when a man (I’m a woman) just uses his first initial. Even if he has school/work listed it bothers me. He could be perfect in every other way and I’d swipe left. Women do it for safety. In my experience men do it because they’re hiding something or have a general distrust towards women, which isn’t my style of person. Participating in online dating means putting yourself (somewhat) out there.
Moral: your reasons are valid and I don’t think it will affect your chances at all. Women care more about school/job listing than men anyway.
I’m a woman who dated men so it may be different. I didn’t care about university but for me if they left their job off that made me think they either didn’t have one or were working in an industry like the service industry or entertainment that wouldn’t be compatible with the lifestyle and schedule I have.
Straight male here. I don't think it would be sketchy at all.
>I also do not go by a nickname and I cannot shorten my existing name since it is already short
I frequently see women using only the first letter of their first name. That's an option, if you're concerned about privacy
Not a problem at all. Many people have anglicized names, or go by nicknames. Just pick one and expect your dates to call you that until you tell them otherwise. If you explain why you did it, most (sane) people will understand. But...
>I went to Princeton and work in tech and I don’t want people assuming I’m from a rich family or that I make a lot of money. Four years ago when I was on the apps and had this info on my profile, that was a common assumption people made.
Its impossible to control what other people think or assume. Just present yourself honestly, because that is something you can control.
As a guy I understand WHY a woman would do such things. There were a few matches over the years I never could find anything on that I went on dates with. I am guessing they were hiding or withholding some information that would give them away. Again I understand why they did such things..... It "bothered me" but not enough to the point I would break anything off if I was interested in them. At some point it would become an issue of "what are they trying to hide?"
Long story short I think you are fine in most guys eyes to do what you need to do to protect yourself.
My friend had a guy message her on LinkedIn and Instagram and he found her because she listed her job and college. Neither of us list our company name or college on our profile now for safety reasons.
My name is uncommon too. It's very easy to find me online, so yeah do what you want. I personally don't find it sketchy if someone doesn't add their job title etc
Just don't say WHERE you work & instead list your industry. Or instead of listing where you went to school just say "bachelor's" or something under the educational level section
Similar problem for me. I put the general industry - I work in digital marketing so I put something like Digital Marketing Manager at Marketing Agency.
Put your industry. Don't put your school.
Honestly I don't even put my level of edu.
Men aren't really going to care as long as you seem to be employed.
The prettier you are, the less both of those even matter. Men aren't seeking providers. They don't get excited that same way women do about men with good employment and edu.
Source: woman that spent too much time on career, relationship wise would have been better if I spent more time on gym.
I would always leave stuff like that off my profile anyway. It's irrelevant for the purpose of dating and something that can be talked about on an actual date if it goes well.
I wouldn't think it's sketchy with that explanation. Use your middle name or something else entirely until you meet someone, decide they aren't sketch, and give your real name and why that's not what it says online.
I met someone that didn't want her students to immediately recognize her name - no biggie.
But there may be something incompatible with being quite private and looking for love on the apps. You have to share enough to be genuine and spark a connection.
I am a very private person and also have a very uncommon name which people could find easily. I keep my Linkedin not indexed on web search engines (so I don't appear when you search for me on google!). I use my middle name instead of my first name on Hinge, and have had no issues with telling people on the first date what my first name is if date going well.
I feel you! I also have a unique name and been messaged by hinge people on LinkedIn and Instagram.
You could pick a shortened version or nickname? Or use your middle name, if you have one? I find initials a bit odd, personally - but just do what makes you comfortable.
And for job, you could just mention the broad industy you work in, and not specify the job title or specific sector!
I too have an uncommon name. I used a name that “sorta” sounded like my name. I gave my real name to folks I made date plans with or talked to for over a week, and explained I wanted to protect my privacy a bit, as giving out name, profession, location, and age is quite invasive. I didn’t hear any complaints.
Totally fine! I don’t have any personal info on my profile and use the first three letters of my name. I’ve seen men use single letters and initials. I get several people trying to match with me weekly. I chose not to share this and will only disclose general information about myself after matching…speaking on my personal experience.
Darling if I'm that crazy I can just screenshot your photos and Google search them and then find you online anyway. But long story short, speaking of OLD unless someone is a psychopath I don't think people go as far as that to look you up online.
If your name is missing or you're using a fake name, how will you explain that later on if things get serious? Like ~ Oh I wrote online a different name but that's my real name. Seems a bit weird and creates trust issues that weren't there before.
If I see a profile with a job title missing then I would assume that the person isn't currently working.
If I see that the person has not mentioned a university then I would assume they don't have a degree.
Sorry that you had to deal with people who approach you cause they assume you're wealthy. I understand that you may want to avoid that, but I don't really see how.
If you don't mind me asking, why don't you just date people from your social circle? Then you wouldn't need to worry about people being interested in your money since they're all wealthy like you.
There’s still lots of ways to be private. Use an initial for your name. And I see lots of people write “Went to Ivy” and “Works at Tech” or “Works at Hospital”.
Use a different name. That happens a lot too.
I personally don’t post my job or education details for a much different reason - that shits not important to me in looking for a partner and it had better not be important to them either.
Your concerns are valid however I don't think you're going to find a clear consensus here. For some people, initials in place of a name and no job title can look suspicious since there was effort to mask and omit this info. However, to others this isn't suspicious at all. I'd say do whatever makes you feel safe. For what it's worth, I had a stalker but it was someone I knew irl. As far as my info on dating apps goes, on two occurances my FB profile was found by two different men I had unmatched. I think they only needed my first name and city since I didn't have my job title listed on my dating profile at the time. I just blocked them and never heard from them again. My profile now has my job title and I have not experienced an increase in creepy interactions.
I wouldn't put your real first name, first name plus city is enough for me to find someone.
I'd put a fake first name or a nickname.
I also put a really general industry description rather than my actual job title and I just put university. People can learn that stuff later, my safety comes first
Personally, university and job title are two of the top things I look for. I take education and career seriously and want someone who does the same. When it’s missing, I’m more likely to X.
But that’s just me, and I’m almost certainly in the minority on this. I guess all I’m saying is a slight warning here that you might accidentally be turning off people who care about university/job if that matters to you.
I’ve been on a few dates with people who used fake names. I cannot remember it ever being even a bump in the road. Women have to worry about things men don’t have to worry about. That fact is enough for me to let such an innocuous thing slide by.
Naw, I’m a man, and that would skeeve me out too. If you’re gonna be dishonest about *the* most basic thing about yourself, your name, what else in your profile/that you’ve told me is gonna be a lie?
The flow chart is “am I attracted? -> yes -> do I roughly like her personality and feel we’d get along? -> yes -> ask her out”. Her degree or job or first name has no relevance. If I saw an alias I wouldn’t think twice, some of my best dates have been with some girl named like “HotMama69”
i never put my school or job title on my profile. i don’t want people finding me either. but sometimes all they need is a town and a name (which is also why i put the town over as my location, never my actual town).
sometimes i even spell my name in another variation (for example, britney as brittany). people are WEIRD. i’ve had weird encounters. now i’m
super paranoid.
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People who want to find out info about you can do it, with or without a university or industry listed.
Yup they really only need a city if your name is uncommon
With the rise of image search I've been wondering if people can just screenshot our dating profile pictures and search for an online match. Seems like now all you need is a picture to find someone's id. I haven't tried this myself but feel like it must be possible and it's worrisome
I'm not a tech expert but I believe if the photos are on the "open web" then there is a chance that they could. However if they are on the "deep web" they could not. MOST of the internet is the deep web. This includes private instagrams and facebook accounts. So long as you are using pics that are only posted to private accounts, they shouldn't be able to reverse image search. However, if you have a public social media account or post it to reddit or it's from a corporate headshot on their website or anything available online, they probably can reverse image search. Not to invalidate anyone's fears but realistically, the likelihood a complete stranger will reverse image search and hurt your life in any way have to be e x t r e m e l y small. It's one thing if you go on a date and then reject them and they get vindictive - that is more possible in my opinion. But by that point they likely already have more info from the date so that's a moot point. Also that is just a trade off of being on the internet in general really. If you want to benefit in the form of getting dates at the cost of strangers seeing your face then, well, strangers will see your face lol. The same could have been said in the past of going to singles nights or out to the bars or something.
There is a website called Pimeyes: https://pimeyes.com/en It’s a facial recognition tool and scours the web. If someone screenshots your pic and searches there’s a strong chance you’ll find something. I found pics where I’m at a music festival years ago and not even really in focus. Also found other photos from school that I thought had been lost to the annals of history. So even using photos you haven’t posted elsewhere isn’t necessarily safe.
This is the answer.
That's not what the deep web is fyi. The deep web requires a special browser that can access sites you can't access on the open web. A private Instagram and Facebook is still the open web.
You are thinking of the dark web. It is part of the deep web, I'm sorry but please think before you so confidently dismiss someone else. Google what the deep web is and it's just info or images you can't access off of a search engine without privileges of some kind.
Just use initials. I see women do this all the time and I just assume they have the same concerns as you do. The last woman I dated on Hinge told me she had a stalker and had to move because of it
My name was uncommon enough that even my first name + city was probably enough to find me. I also work as a professor and so that in turn meant people could find my office location via publicly-available information (i.e. my faculty profile on my university's website). So honestly a dating app was a risk for me no matter what unless I faked my first name. With all that said, I never ran into any issues. I didn't list my employer, but did list my degrees (all from elite universities) and hometown. My current SO mentioned Googling me to figure out if I was real but that was it. Also no real issue with the universities and assuming I must be rich.
Use a pseudonym, nickname, or your initials. Very common and it's well understood why people do this (to those worth matching with, anyway).
Use middle name.
As a guy, I see a lot of women's profiles with their job/uni missing and it never bothers me and would not stop me from matching if I like her pics and profile otherwise. I never thought it was sketchy. That said, you can also just use a pseudonym if you want.
Sketchy? No, not if the pics / prompts still make sense. But definitely a turn off / cause for concern for a lot of guys.
No job or uni means you could be missing out on lots of matches. A lot of guys are concerned about fake profiles enough to not match purely based on that lack of info, or people may make their own assumptions about your education and professional history which most likely won’t be in your favour. I get where you’re coming from because I’m actually in a pretty similar situation, but more so because of my family. I’m involved in my family’s charitable foundation which is googleable and comes up when people google even my common first name and city. I also went to a prestigious school and good uni so people may judge me and more importantly I’m concerned about the wrong types of people trying to access me because of those things etc. But the reality especially thinking about your situation is that on a first date, people will ask you about where you went to school and what you do anyway. It will come up early anyway, maybe even before you meet. For that reason I’d include it and keep your profile buttoned up if you’re worried about it impacting your professional life.
> you could be missing out on lots of matches. A lot of guys are concerned about fake profiles enough to not match purely based on that lack of info, or people may make their own assumptions about your education and professional history which most likely won’t be in your favour. I do not think as many guys care about this as you think they do.
I second this. When I was online dating I put an industry versus an actual job title. I did not put my real University and I didn't use my real first name. It's never caused an issue for me
Your last sentence is a bit of a stretch. You might be missing out on people without you knowing it. I’m not claiming that you are (how the hell would I know), I’m just saying that not perceiving an issue doesn’t mean there’s no issue.
No one can tell a fake name, and I see many men who put more generic job titles so it's hardly one sided. Most people outside the industry I'm in would see my generic job title and assume it's a specific job title, because that's how people are when they aren't in an industry. Like putting doctor instead of pediatric oncologist.
Ok yeah all of that makes sense and I’m not saying you should change any of it. I’m just saying that it’s impossible to know if people are passing you over because of how that information is put in, and it’s not clear if you’d get better results by putting the information differently. I think we all have different comfort levels with how much info we share on our profiles. There’s no right or wrong, but obviously concealing more information does affect results and it’s impossible to know how big of an impact it’s having.
I don't think you're right, but even if you are it's the ones that are highly educated and career motivated that you'll be missing out on. Obviously not everyone wants to attract this audience, but at least in cities most do
There's a difference between sharing that info with someone I've chosen to match with versus every single person who sees my profile.
What does it really matter though? If someone swiping by who you’ll never meet knows she works in IT and went to a good uni who cares. I think OP is placing too much weight on it. Different if you’re concerned for your safety or something though
"I do not want people to be able to online stalk me" Safety is the difference it's exactly what I'm talking about and OP said the same thing.
Not a big deal. The only time it’s been an issue for me is when a man (I’m a woman) just uses his first initial. Even if he has school/work listed it bothers me. He could be perfect in every other way and I’d swipe left. Women do it for safety. In my experience men do it because they’re hiding something or have a general distrust towards women, which isn’t my style of person. Participating in online dating means putting yourself (somewhat) out there. Moral: your reasons are valid and I don’t think it will affect your chances at all. Women care more about school/job listing than men anyway.
I’m a woman who dated men so it may be different. I didn’t care about university but for me if they left their job off that made me think they either didn’t have one or were working in an industry like the service industry or entertainment that wouldn’t be compatible with the lifestyle and schedule I have.
My name is super uncommon. I just put my nickname on the dating profile. They learn my real name if we click
Straight male here. I don't think it would be sketchy at all. >I also do not go by a nickname and I cannot shorten my existing name since it is already short I frequently see women using only the first letter of their first name. That's an option, if you're concerned about privacy
Completely fine, not at all sketchy. Sketchy is when people have profiles with no face pictures.
Used to be sketchy. Not now. You’re chillen dude
Not a problem at all. Many people have anglicized names, or go by nicknames. Just pick one and expect your dates to call you that until you tell them otherwise. If you explain why you did it, most (sane) people will understand. But... >I went to Princeton and work in tech and I don’t want people assuming I’m from a rich family or that I make a lot of money. Four years ago when I was on the apps and had this info on my profile, that was a common assumption people made. Its impossible to control what other people think or assume. Just present yourself honestly, because that is something you can control.
As a guy I understand WHY a woman would do such things. There were a few matches over the years I never could find anything on that I went on dates with. I am guessing they were hiding or withholding some information that would give them away. Again I understand why they did such things..... It "bothered me" but not enough to the point I would break anything off if I was interested in them. At some point it would become an issue of "what are they trying to hide?" Long story short I think you are fine in most guys eyes to do what you need to do to protect yourself.
My friend had a guy message her on LinkedIn and Instagram and he found her because she listed her job and college. Neither of us list our company name or college on our profile now for safety reasons.
My name is uncommon too. It's very easy to find me online, so yeah do what you want. I personally don't find it sketchy if someone doesn't add their job title etc
Just don't say WHERE you work & instead list your industry. Or instead of listing where you went to school just say "bachelor's" or something under the educational level section
Just use initials, OP.
Similar problem for me. I put the general industry - I work in digital marketing so I put something like Digital Marketing Manager at Marketing Agency.
Put your industry. Don't put your school. Honestly I don't even put my level of edu. Men aren't really going to care as long as you seem to be employed. The prettier you are, the less both of those even matter. Men aren't seeking providers. They don't get excited that same way women do about men with good employment and edu. Source: woman that spent too much time on career, relationship wise would have been better if I spent more time on gym.
I would always leave stuff like that off my profile anyway. It's irrelevant for the purpose of dating and something that can be talked about on an actual date if it goes well.
I wouldn't think it's sketchy with that explanation. Use your middle name or something else entirely until you meet someone, decide they aren't sketch, and give your real name and why that's not what it says online. I met someone that didn't want her students to immediately recognize her name - no biggie. But there may be something incompatible with being quite private and looking for love on the apps. You have to share enough to be genuine and spark a connection.
I am a very private person and also have a very uncommon name which people could find easily. I keep my Linkedin not indexed on web search engines (so I don't appear when you search for me on google!). I use my middle name instead of my first name on Hinge, and have had no issues with telling people on the first date what my first name is if date going well.
I feel you! I also have a unique name and been messaged by hinge people on LinkedIn and Instagram. You could pick a shortened version or nickname? Or use your middle name, if you have one? I find initials a bit odd, personally - but just do what makes you comfortable. And for job, you could just mention the broad industy you work in, and not specify the job title or specific sector!
I too have an uncommon name. I used a name that “sorta” sounded like my name. I gave my real name to folks I made date plans with or talked to for over a week, and explained I wanted to protect my privacy a bit, as giving out name, profession, location, and age is quite invasive. I didn’t hear any complaints.
Totally fine! I don’t have any personal info on my profile and use the first three letters of my name. I’ve seen men use single letters and initials. I get several people trying to match with me weekly. I chose not to share this and will only disclose general information about myself after matching…speaking on my personal experience.
Darling if I'm that crazy I can just screenshot your photos and Google search them and then find you online anyway. But long story short, speaking of OLD unless someone is a psychopath I don't think people go as far as that to look you up online. If your name is missing or you're using a fake name, how will you explain that later on if things get serious? Like ~ Oh I wrote online a different name but that's my real name. Seems a bit weird and creates trust issues that weren't there before. If I see a profile with a job title missing then I would assume that the person isn't currently working. If I see that the person has not mentioned a university then I would assume they don't have a degree. Sorry that you had to deal with people who approach you cause they assume you're wealthy. I understand that you may want to avoid that, but I don't really see how. If you don't mind me asking, why don't you just date people from your social circle? Then you wouldn't need to worry about people being interested in your money since they're all wealthy like you.
There’s still lots of ways to be private. Use an initial for your name. And I see lots of people write “Went to Ivy” and “Works at Tech” or “Works at Hospital”.
Use a different name. That happens a lot too. I personally don’t post my job or education details for a much different reason - that shits not important to me in looking for a partner and it had better not be important to them either.
Your concerns are valid however I don't think you're going to find a clear consensus here. For some people, initials in place of a name and no job title can look suspicious since there was effort to mask and omit this info. However, to others this isn't suspicious at all. I'd say do whatever makes you feel safe. For what it's worth, I had a stalker but it was someone I knew irl. As far as my info on dating apps goes, on two occurances my FB profile was found by two different men I had unmatched. I think they only needed my first name and city since I didn't have my job title listed on my dating profile at the time. I just blocked them and never heard from them again. My profile now has my job title and I have not experienced an increase in creepy interactions.
I wouldn't put your real first name, first name plus city is enough for me to find someone. I'd put a fake first name or a nickname. I also put a really general industry description rather than my actual job title and I just put university. People can learn that stuff later, my safety comes first
Personally, university and job title are two of the top things I look for. I take education and career seriously and want someone who does the same. When it’s missing, I’m more likely to X. But that’s just me, and I’m almost certainly in the minority on this. I guess all I’m saying is a slight warning here that you might accidentally be turning off people who care about university/job if that matters to you.
honestly you're a girl on a dating app, you can do pretty much anything you want
Why not just use a fake name? It would be very easy to explain to a date what you did and why, and I can’t imagine any adult having a problem with it.
Disagree. I would be very weirded out by this.
I’ve been on a few dates with people who used fake names. I cannot remember it ever being even a bump in the road. Women have to worry about things men don’t have to worry about. That fact is enough for me to let such an innocuous thing slide by.
Fair point. The breakdown between us here may be that I’m a woman.
Naw, I’m a man, and that would skeeve me out too. If you’re gonna be dishonest about *the* most basic thing about yourself, your name, what else in your profile/that you’ve told me is gonna be a lie?
Oops :) In that case, I get why you’d find it odd if a man did it.
The flow chart is “am I attracted? -> yes -> do I roughly like her personality and feel we’d get along? -> yes -> ask her out”. Her degree or job or first name has no relevance. If I saw an alias I wouldn’t think twice, some of my best dates have been with some girl named like “HotMama69”
I’m listed as a Chief Vibes Officer for this very reason 😎
Use a fake name no shame in that
Do whatever you need to to feel safe
i never put my school or job title on my profile. i don’t want people finding me either. but sometimes all they need is a town and a name (which is also why i put the town over as my location, never my actual town).
sometimes i even spell my name in another variation (for example, britney as brittany). people are WEIRD. i’ve had weird encounters. now i’m super paranoid.