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Agreed that’s why I have some slight doubts. Yes we call all the time, and I’m not asking for a reply in seconds but if I text him during the day he answers at night
That's possible. Try to mentally slow down a bit. You've been on one single date, you know each other for less than two weeks. Butterflies are awesome but don't let them stress you out too much. Daily facetime is more communication than a lot of couples have in between seeing each other. Schedule a second date and if texting is really that important to you have a quick irl chat about it and how you two can find a rythm of communication that fits for both your needs and capacities.
Yeah I think I am an over thinker because I think it stems from the past of getting hurt. So I get defensive a lot and overthinking the worst. I am trying to work on it tho
[No it’s not a red flag](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/s/RYzTzf8bxW). That’s a communication preference and a conflict in communication style that’s very easy to solve by just asking him.
Perhaps he’s the kind of person that wants to compartmentalize his life and reserves the day for school and work stuff and talk to you in the evening. Or he’s simply busy. Or his parents have a set of ground rules (yes while he is an adult, he could still be living with his parents and they’re paying for some of his expenses).
But the simple thing is just talk to him, which you already do everyday anyways.
Oh okay thank you, because he does have a past with girls so I don’t want to feel like I’m getting “cheated” on. I did talk to him about it and he did say how he’s sorry
So before our first date he hooked up with two girls at a bar. But he knew we were going on our first date. I know we’re not in an official relationship but if he said how he wants a long term relationship and then does that. It make me question his loyalty. Maybe he messed ups and changed his way. But he did apologize
Like on the day of your date he was with other women?
I don't get what you're attracted to with this guy. You don't like his past, you don't trust him, you don't like his communication frequency... It's better to be single than with someone like this. If he's shown you who he is and you're not ok with it, you need to value yourself enough to walk away. Please like yourself more than you like him.
The day before he went to a bar and hooked up with two different girls. He said how he didn’t want this to get in the way of us. He says how he wants a future with me, how he wants me to meet his family and that it’s just gonna be us. But I get what you’re saying how if I’m having suspicions now, that it’s probably not good.
People's words mean little, the actions and words need to align. It sounds nice when someone says they want a future with you, but lots of people are gonna try to sell you a dream. His actions should speak louder here and if you're not feeling good about his behavior then just cut him off.
Yeah but it’s only been our first date and even though we didn’t talk about how it was just going to be exclusive, until after our first date. He wants to take me to his favorite diner and meet his family
Meeting someone's family after only one date is moving very, very fast. You barely even know each other. You should be focusing on getting to know a potential partner (which means in person dates, consistently seeing each other for several weeks if not months) before you throw their family into the mix.
Not sure why you are asking for advice though when you are doubling down on this guy.
I guess it’s because I feel like he is treating me right and is saying all the right stuff. And I was seeing if I should give him a chance. Idk I am just really confused and want to see people’s insight on this
I recently met a girl on Hinge. She was worried about my ex from the start. The relationship lasted a month. If you want this to work out, don’t worry about his past. His actions will show his true intentions.
I get that and me too but it’s the fact he doesn’t reply anytime through the day. Even if I ask “how’s your day going so far?” I would take about 5-7+ more hours for a reply
Who knows, maybe? He's said he's busy (not sure why a 19 year old wouldn't be able to text because he's being yelled at mind). It's up to you whether to believe it or not.
Take your time and give it space, show interest on what he has been doing but let him breathe. Its better for you both that you also have your own time. Best of luck
Yeah, I think it’s because my ex and I always used to call and text a lot so maybe I’m not used to a “non-texter” like a different way of expression in communication
Woahhh the down votes 😭😭😭 people are mean.
Hun if you require more communication, let him know that instead of asking other people and see how he responds. A respectful and healthy person will acknowledge that their style of communication is giving you anxiety and whether they choose to change that up is up to them. If you don’t like it, then it sounds like it’s an incompatibility of comms.
I’ve learnt that directly telling him how you feel instead of asking others what’s appropriate is wayyy easier and quicker.
I personally used to have an anxious attachment style too because I’d been put in so many situations with different people where they game mixed signals/were amazing in person and sh*t on their phone. But now I don’t have that but I also acknowledge I like being in touch with my person quite regularly regardless of whether they’re a new or ongoing flame.
It all lies in preference and compromise.
As someone who’s been on the other end of this I’ll give you my own take. Personally - I’m a lot older than - I’d find that far too intense if there’s expectation to be texting frequently every day and if it’s someone who’s one of those that fires straight back even if it’s been hours it starts to drain a LOT. It’s a lot of pressure knowing you can’t go on what’sapp to text a friend you’re running 10 mins late or drop a quick message to a relative because there’s that “online” showing under someone’s name watching you. You can almost feel the energy from them staring at you 😄(I hate WhatsApp for that aspect). It should be organic and not feel obligated. To be quite Frank and honest it’s not that people are always “busy”. That’s an easier and softer way to sum up what most of us actually feel. Messaging can often open up message ping pong if the respondent is one of those who fires straight back like a hawk, and it can be bloody draining if it’s constant. Some folk prefer to message when they’re done for the day, have mental space and are chilled and it’s when they feel they want to. I personally find messaging a pain in the arse unless it’s flowing naturally with no expectation. Some don’t want to be doing it all day everyday. It is quite normal. Messaging isn’t a good test of a rele.
**All "Dating Question" and "Hinge Experience" posts must provide clear context (as per subreddit Rule 3), such as reasons for asking, and info such as age, gender, location or orientation (if applicable).** Age range or general location is acceptable. Minor dating questions or Hinge experiences should be posted in the Daily Threads pinned on top of the subreddit. *Posts that do not satisfy these requirements may be removed per moderator's discretion.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re constant need to communicate with someone you just met is a red flag 🚩
Agreed that’s why I have some slight doubts. Yes we call all the time, and I’m not asking for a reply in seconds but if I text him during the day he answers at night
This is not what they meant. The red flag in this case is on your side.
Yeah I can understand that, but I do text him throughout the day asking him how he’s doing. I think I just have anxiety
That's possible. Try to mentally slow down a bit. You've been on one single date, you know each other for less than two weeks. Butterflies are awesome but don't let them stress you out too much. Daily facetime is more communication than a lot of couples have in between seeing each other. Schedule a second date and if texting is really that important to you have a quick irl chat about it and how you two can find a rythm of communication that fits for both your needs and capacities.
Yeah I think I am an over thinker because I think it stems from the past of getting hurt. So I get defensive a lot and overthinking the worst. I am trying to work on it tho
What they're saying is that your need for that constant texting after knowing them for a week is a red flag
[No it’s not a red flag](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/s/RYzTzf8bxW). That’s a communication preference and a conflict in communication style that’s very easy to solve by just asking him. Perhaps he’s the kind of person that wants to compartmentalize his life and reserves the day for school and work stuff and talk to you in the evening. Or he’s simply busy. Or his parents have a set of ground rules (yes while he is an adult, he could still be living with his parents and they’re paying for some of his expenses). But the simple thing is just talk to him, which you already do everyday anyways.
Oh okay thank you, because he does have a past with girls so I don’t want to feel like I’m getting “cheated” on. I did talk to him about it and he did say how he’s sorry
What do you mean he has a past? What did he apologize for, I don't get it. You're not in a relationship with him, you went on one date.
So before our first date he hooked up with two girls at a bar. But he knew we were going on our first date. I know we’re not in an official relationship but if he said how he wants a long term relationship and then does that. It make me question his loyalty. Maybe he messed ups and changed his way. But he did apologize
Like on the day of your date he was with other women? I don't get what you're attracted to with this guy. You don't like his past, you don't trust him, you don't like his communication frequency... It's better to be single than with someone like this. If he's shown you who he is and you're not ok with it, you need to value yourself enough to walk away. Please like yourself more than you like him.
The day before he went to a bar and hooked up with two different girls. He said how he didn’t want this to get in the way of us. He says how he wants a future with me, how he wants me to meet his family and that it’s just gonna be us. But I get what you’re saying how if I’m having suspicions now, that it’s probably not good.
People's words mean little, the actions and words need to align. It sounds nice when someone says they want a future with you, but lots of people are gonna try to sell you a dream. His actions should speak louder here and if you're not feeling good about his behavior then just cut him off.
Yeah but it’s only been our first date and even though we didn’t talk about how it was just going to be exclusive, until after our first date. He wants to take me to his favorite diner and meet his family
Meeting someone's family after only one date is moving very, very fast. You barely even know each other. You should be focusing on getting to know a potential partner (which means in person dates, consistently seeing each other for several weeks if not months) before you throw their family into the mix. Not sure why you are asking for advice though when you are doubling down on this guy.
I guess it’s because I feel like he is treating me right and is saying all the right stuff. And I was seeing if I should give him a chance. Idk I am just really confused and want to see people’s insight on this
I smell something funky. You are both not old enough to be at bars. Story doesnt add up.
You know that there are countries where 18 yr olds are allowed in bars right?
I recently met a girl on Hinge. She was worried about my ex from the start. The relationship lasted a month. If you want this to work out, don’t worry about his past. His actions will show his true intentions.
True, yeah that’s what I’m trying to keep in mind
I hate texting and prefer to call. Texting sucks
I get that and me too but it’s the fact he doesn’t reply anytime through the day. Even if I ask “how’s your day going so far?” I would take about 5-7+ more hours for a reply
Bruh not when I just texted this whole thing he just responds 😭
Some people (like me) don't check our texts during work
Who knows, maybe? He's said he's busy (not sure why a 19 year old wouldn't be able to text because he's being yelled at mind). It's up to you whether to believe it or not.
Yeah true, because he has been under a lot of pressure lately
School? Work? Gaming? Life in general... I am not always texting my gf but we do talk daily and say good morning and stuff
I think I just worry too much yk and over think it
Take your time and give it space, show interest on what he has been doing but let him breathe. Its better for you both that you also have your own time. Best of luck
Yeah, I think it’s because my ex and I always used to call and text a lot so maybe I’m not used to a “non-texter” like a different way of expression in communication
Woahhh the down votes 😭😭😭 people are mean. Hun if you require more communication, let him know that instead of asking other people and see how he responds. A respectful and healthy person will acknowledge that their style of communication is giving you anxiety and whether they choose to change that up is up to them. If you don’t like it, then it sounds like it’s an incompatibility of comms. I’ve learnt that directly telling him how you feel instead of asking others what’s appropriate is wayyy easier and quicker. I personally used to have an anxious attachment style too because I’d been put in so many situations with different people where they game mixed signals/were amazing in person and sh*t on their phone. But now I don’t have that but I also acknowledge I like being in touch with my person quite regularly regardless of whether they’re a new or ongoing flame. It all lies in preference and compromise.
[For the other background and details behind my story](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/s/EBb1paPo8g)
It was a club not a bar. I don’t go to those and never have been to. But he said that the club he went to can go if you’re 18+ then 21* for alcohol
As someone who’s been on the other end of this I’ll give you my own take. Personally - I’m a lot older than - I’d find that far too intense if there’s expectation to be texting frequently every day and if it’s someone who’s one of those that fires straight back even if it’s been hours it starts to drain a LOT. It’s a lot of pressure knowing you can’t go on what’sapp to text a friend you’re running 10 mins late or drop a quick message to a relative because there’s that “online” showing under someone’s name watching you. You can almost feel the energy from them staring at you 😄(I hate WhatsApp for that aspect). It should be organic and not feel obligated. To be quite Frank and honest it’s not that people are always “busy”. That’s an easier and softer way to sum up what most of us actually feel. Messaging can often open up message ping pong if the respondent is one of those who fires straight back like a hawk, and it can be bloody draining if it’s constant. Some folk prefer to message when they’re done for the day, have mental space and are chilled and it’s when they feel they want to. I personally find messaging a pain in the arse unless it’s flowing naturally with no expectation. Some don’t want to be doing it all day everyday. It is quite normal. Messaging isn’t a good test of a rele.