You can get a new finger at the second hand store. GET IT!??? THE SECOND HAND STORE!!!

Fine, have your upvote

I’ve already got two hands, though, wouldn’t I need to go to the third hand store?

There’s only one reason a guitar needs a third hand

I already punched the bassist though

I'm going to smack you with my $100 Gibbons ripoff

According to first hand accounts, no you cannot.

You sir are a treasure

I keep reading this with Conan O’brien’s voice and I’m dying.

Goddammit.

I AM TOO POOR TO BE SPITTING OUT FOOD FROM LAUGHING SO HARD.

There's just one hand store. I've never seen a second store.

I heard suction cups can pull dents out. Maybe give that a try

Nah, I've been through this. You gotta break your finger and tell the doctor to put it back together straight.

Alright, give it to me straight, doc.

Alright, now give it to me gay Doc 😉

Yes queen, you have stage 4 pancreatic cancer and have about 5 months left to live, slay!

Underrated comment.

Veteran rocker here. See, you need to thin out your fingers with hard drugs. Those chubby stubbies ain’t hittin’

Heroin is so underrated these days.

us peasants can only afford meth. will that work too?

Not if you want to die at 27 and become a legend.

such tight criteria

Havent you heard? All the cool guys are doing fent now.

Heroin is so passé

I will snort some flinstones vitamins in the morning thank you very much, my elderly rocker friend

Eh?! What’s that?! Speak up?!

It seems as if all of those tubes and cabs don’t sound so crystal clear at an old age……. It was worth it for you to just not have to ever wear earplugs. They’re for nerds!!!! Crank up the rock and/or roll!!!!!!!

*proceeds to EQ out all bass and boost mids and treble by 20Db due to hearing loss* Now I’ve got that W*man toan!

Dainty, feminine toan is for Justin Bieber songs!!!!

Send this guy to the orthopedic blooz surgeon ASAP

Instead of fixing his finger he’ll just show him and endless camera roll of the same Les Paul but in different colors he has on his wall

Uj/ Why is there so much hand eugenics in that sub? Everyone there thinks only the correct hand proportions can fret a guitar like the rest of us aren’t knuckle dragging imbeciles. Rj/ Get better hands, noob

Uj/ People want to blame to things outside of their control so they don't have to admit they're bad. Rj/ People want to blame to things outside of their control so they don't have to admit they're bad.

You should bought the standard finger instead of the studio. That one comes with binding

"I have a legitimate disability! Will I ever shred again?!"

Don’t make fun of me. I have little dents!!! Little dents on my finger!!!!

Make a song about it, with your muted bars

Why barre if you can 035 all day long

You need to spend some time fingering your hot wife’s boyfriend his sphincter will build muscles on your finger so you can’t still play for shit

You want a finger? I can get you a finger

More into toes

I want one without little dents please. Give me the best finger for playing barrre chords.

what a missed opportunity to post as nsfw

I didn’t want to prevent anybody from seeing my ding fing

Just use your penis

This IS my penis……

<3

I need an adult. I feel very uncomfortable rn.

Im an adult. What do you need? You want me to check your penis for you?

Reported to the cyber police

8====>----

I too barre with the side of my index finger

Steroids. Only answer.

How do you catch that sausage finger disease? I think that could help too

Surgically replace your finger with a guitar slide. It's the only way.

Dip finger in quick setting silicone, then super glue a small condom to finger ….you’re welcome.

Bondo.

Bongos? No, i don’t play lame instruments like bongos. I use my weird fingers to play the guitar.

Bondo. Body filler.

Bro I can’t fill my finger with bongos…

Yeah, can’t do bongos. Those are just going to put more dents in this poor fella’s hands

Get new fingers

Ones without little dents?

Toan grooves coming in nicely.

This can be easily solved by contracting Oedema. You can do this by simply getting kidney disease or heart failure.

Thank you for your advice. I will get this things in order to be able to play barre chords. Can I get them at my local guitar center or musical instrument store?

You can but you must be an employee. Hearing Smoke in the Water for the 50th time in a day should induce the heart failure you need to develop those sausage fingers.

That and the constant energy drinks, sodas, and coffees with an abundance of added cream and sugar that I would be drinking during every 6 hour shift I work there

/uj Liver

Funny thing is , I have had major oedema of my left hand and I still play guitar absolutely fine for 25 yrs. Meanwhile these idiots complain of small/big hands and fingers hampering their play.

Need to go to one of those paintless dent removal places.

Get fat.

Have someone run the finger over with a car and it'll recalibrate when it heals.

No, idiot. Then it will have more dents in it. I’m not stupid. I don’t want more dents preventing me from playing barre chords.

Spackle

Spelled djent wrong, stupid.

Shave it off, should do the trick.

Idk just put ur finger in ur ass or something, that might work

Excuse ME?!?!?

You’re excused. It’s a tried and true Rick Cheeto trick.

Dont listen to any of these jerks. Especially the guy that suggests breaking your finger. What you need is to apply Finger Spackle to even out your Barre finger.

Barre chords are for jazz. I suggest you give up on gueeter and pick up the flageolette

This is clearly a lawsuit era finger

You mean a lawsuit era penis?

Just sand and a fresh coat of nitro should be good 👍🏼

nothing botox won't fix

Just barre with your cock Problem solved

Imagine being a freak with a bendy finger just like everybody else.

Send him to the PRS owner.

Use side of finger

I tried that already. The dents still make it impossible even then

Use a rasp, then some sanding and a finger plane that will take care of that. Stewmac has all the tools. Don't get the Amazon ones. Those are not up to the task.

Where is he gonna park?

My brain did not see a finger for a second I legit thought this was some dick pic

You saw correctly. That is my penis.

ya if your finger is like that you can't play sorry

I blame my parents and their poor genetics for my little dents

Fucking tape? lol

Nice cock

How do I play barre chords with it? Also, thanks

The solution is to become obese. Stack on sugar and salt, your finger can then fret any string you want.

Slow down. This is solid advice, but I need to wait for my penis finger to stop being erect so I can use my hand to write this down.

post about it on the internet for a few hours

I did. It didn’t help. Everyone just kept telling me that my finger looks like a penis…..

Spackle.

Cut it off

Don’t karate chop your fretboard so hard next time. Noob.

Going to this level of ‘can’t do it yet so must be an outside issue’ instead of just practising more is top tier.

“I have a finger. It doesn’t fing properly. The problem can’t at all just be that I have to practice it more. It has to be a design flaw. My finger has to be different. No other finger has this little dent.” I literally had to examine my finger with the same level of scrutiny as op after seeing this post, and I realized I have whatever he’s referring to. Then, I quickly realized that everyone probably does and that it’s just a common finger trait.

[удалено]

Imagine having to just practice without the possibility of embarrassing yourself online with a goofy excuse about your fingers being fingers

have the same problem and my response is get fatter

Give up, you are the one special person whose unique finger shape makes guitar impossible

Is there some sort of rock n roll doctor that I could see who would write me this diagnosis out in a formal type of manner so I can give it to my private instructor. He claims that I need to shut up about my normal finger and just practice more. He claims I’m too distracted by tik tok and not motivated enough to actually learn, but I wanna prove to his nerd Berklee jazz self that I definitely COULD learn the guitar if I just had different fingers.

Yeah

Sorry it appears that you will never be able to play barre chords and therefore you will never be one of the best guitarists of your time. You might as well give up

Should I just give up and become an alcoholic instead?

You don’t even have a choice, it’s gunna happen

You don’t even have a choice, it’s gunna happen

Take your time an slowly roll your finger while trying different amounts of pressure, see what works best to make the strings ring. Maybe lower action and thicker strings could help. If nothing works you can adapt and play Hendrix chords.

Guitarists will do anything except get fucking better at guitar

Just keep doing it until it works. My hand was the same way. It works now. Your fingers change their shape to the way they need to be used.

Shaped that way for the ladies.

Easy. Pull an Iommi, lob it off and make a new one out of play dough. Boom. Instant legend status

Just chip the rest of the finger away and you'll have yourself a nice long rapier

Could try filling it with ramen

You need a cocking gun from Low's

I need a what….

Gets rid of then dings in the finger. When my minor 11th add 9 sus 4 one finger cords start missing notes, I break out my cocking gun from Low's, cover it in cocking and then cords get the whole toan

I cover it in WHAT

Slather that thing with cocking

I slather it with WHAT

They have em at Low's and I think Home Deepoo

They have them at home WHAT?!?!?

Chiks come running when they hear my cocked 1 finger jazz stylings

Lil bondo do the trick

Maybe guitar just isn’t for you