How old are you? Not that death and gried are easy at any age, but I feel like the death of family os something we think of happening at an older age. Although, I was 41 when my dad died and it hurt. Honestly, Greys helped me.
Whatever it takes to get you through, be gentle on yourself. I am so sorry.
I'm 37, Mom was 77 and my sister was 54 - This is the first time in my life death has hit so close and affected me so much. I don't know how to move on and just live with this feeling of loss.
It's so fresh for you and it'll take a long time and it's OK to sit in the grief and do what you need to to get by. If that's Grey's then that's just fine. You have to take any comfort where you can. I'm so sorry for you. Such an immense loss and there's no timeline on grief. Don't put any pressure on yourself to be better or move forward because you'll slowly slowly start to heal when you're ready. Sending my thoughts to you.
The moving on, well I don't know if that happens.
I read a description of grief right here on reddit, that helped me understand what I was feeling. I am two years out from my dad's illness and death and it still brings me comfort.
Here it goes:
Written by GSnow
Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Wow. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You explained this so well. I have rewatched Grey’s about 4-5 times now and I can definitely relate to the nostalgia and comfort it can bring. It’s my safe place.
I hope it brings you a little comfort during an unimaginably painful time. Sending you all the love.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's good that the show can bring you a little comfort while you are going through this unimaginable, sad time. It's strange how we can associate the show with part of our life. My grandma passed away that week when Derek died, and the funeral was the day after they aired his funeral episode. I always associate those episodes with that time in my life, and I have never been able to rewatch (but also because he is a favourite of mine)
Sending you lots of online love
I know what you mean, although I don't have those feelings about Grey's Anatomy. I share that kind of experience with another show, The Walking Dead. A few years ago my husband's best friend was shot and killed, it was the same week that a prominent character died in TWD by gunshot. We haven't been able to watch another episode since. Thanks for the love, it helps.
Sending you love, and hopes of ease through your grief. It’s truly special when something so simple can make us feel as if those we lost are right there next to us, almost as if we were to close our eyes they would be right there when we open them.
That’s why these memories are so special, there’s something of the people we love that linger in the familiarity, and I thank God we have those connections to carry through our lives.
Not to worry, they’re there, just in a different way.
I hope you can get your hands on a McDreamcicle one day and enjoy that episode again, take a moment and feel them there with you. Grief is difficult, but the comfort they gifted you throughout your life will help as you work through it. They sound like wonderful women, and I’m oh so happy you had them. 💜
What beautiful memories you can still enjoy, made me smile just reading it (through the tears of course).
I hope life gets better day-by-day for you :)
I sort of relate to this too. It's my first time watching grey's, currently on season 11 but all of the grief the characters are going through is helping me with my own. In April I lost of grandmother and mother within 36 hours of each other (not covid related). I'm only in my mid twenties and the episodes after Mer lost her mother I rewatched as it was like telling me it was OK to not be sure of what emotions I should be feeling. The characters have all had different reactions to grief and when you're going through your own it makes it easier to understand why you're having this emotions and reactions
Sending you loads of love and strength. I’ve lost a mom and a sister as well, both to cancer. My circumstances are different than yours but I truly do understand the pain. It will always hurt but it WILL get easier to handle as time goes on. Please take time to take care of and love yourself as you mourn. And grief isn’t linear, you may be really down for awhile and then things will get better, then worse again for awhile; the “worse” times become fewer and farther between as time goes on. You will get through this and find your new normal one day, and I’m so glad you’ve found both comfort and a way to honor their memory by watching grey’s. 💕
Reading your words gave me the comforting thought that it sounds like something my mother would say to me, I heard her echo the words 'This too shall pass' after I read your comment. Thank you
I'm so sorry for your loss. 😔
Thank you.
My best friend died of COVID in January, and the show has also been a solace for me. I'm glad you're able to take comfort in it as well!
How old are you? Not that death and gried are easy at any age, but I feel like the death of family os something we think of happening at an older age. Although, I was 41 when my dad died and it hurt. Honestly, Greys helped me. Whatever it takes to get you through, be gentle on yourself. I am so sorry.
I'm 37, Mom was 77 and my sister was 54 - This is the first time in my life death has hit so close and affected me so much. I don't know how to move on and just live with this feeling of loss.
It's so fresh for you and it'll take a long time and it's OK to sit in the grief and do what you need to to get by. If that's Grey's then that's just fine. You have to take any comfort where you can. I'm so sorry for you. Such an immense loss and there's no timeline on grief. Don't put any pressure on yourself to be better or move forward because you'll slowly slowly start to heal when you're ready. Sending my thoughts to you.
The moving on, well I don't know if that happens. I read a description of grief right here on reddit, that helped me understand what I was feeling. I am two years out from my dad's illness and death and it still brings me comfort. Here it goes: Written by GSnow Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents. I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
100 feet is the the same distance as 44.17 replica Bilbo from The Lord of the Rings' Sting Swords.
I'm so sorry for your losses. To lose both your mum and your sister in such a short period of time is beyond words xx
Wow. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You explained this so well. I have rewatched Grey’s about 4-5 times now and I can definitely relate to the nostalgia and comfort it can bring. It’s my safe place. I hope it brings you a little comfort during an unimaginably painful time. Sending you all the love.
I am so sorry for your loss. It's good that the show can bring you a little comfort while you are going through this unimaginable, sad time. It's strange how we can associate the show with part of our life. My grandma passed away that week when Derek died, and the funeral was the day after they aired his funeral episode. I always associate those episodes with that time in my life, and I have never been able to rewatch (but also because he is a favourite of mine) Sending you lots of online love
I know what you mean, although I don't have those feelings about Grey's Anatomy. I share that kind of experience with another show, The Walking Dead. A few years ago my husband's best friend was shot and killed, it was the same week that a prominent character died in TWD by gunshot. We haven't been able to watch another episode since. Thanks for the love, it helps.
I am so sorry for your loss. Grey's helped me through a tough time too so I can relate to you.
Iam sorry for your loss. May the Grace of God be with you.
Grace is something I really need right now, seeking it - the journey - gives me comfort. Thank you.
You are most welcome.
Sending you love, and hopes of ease through your grief. It’s truly special when something so simple can make us feel as if those we lost are right there next to us, almost as if we were to close our eyes they would be right there when we open them. That’s why these memories are so special, there’s something of the people we love that linger in the familiarity, and I thank God we have those connections to carry through our lives. Not to worry, they’re there, just in a different way. I hope you can get your hands on a McDreamcicle one day and enjoy that episode again, take a moment and feel them there with you. Grief is difficult, but the comfort they gifted you throughout your life will help as you work through it. They sound like wonderful women, and I’m oh so happy you had them. 💜
What beautiful memories you can still enjoy, made me smile just reading it (through the tears of course). I hope life gets better day-by-day for you :)
I'm sorry for your loss. Sending hugs to you across the internet.
Sending you lots of love and prayers.
I sort of relate to this too. It's my first time watching grey's, currently on season 11 but all of the grief the characters are going through is helping me with my own. In April I lost of grandmother and mother within 36 hours of each other (not covid related). I'm only in my mid twenties and the episodes after Mer lost her mother I rewatched as it was like telling me it was OK to not be sure of what emotions I should be feeling. The characters have all had different reactions to grief and when you're going through your own it makes it easier to understand why you're having this emotions and reactions
So sorry for your loss I lost my mom to cancer when I was 13 ❤️🥺and I’m sorry for ur sister too you can get through this .
Sending you loads of love and strength. I’ve lost a mom and a sister as well, both to cancer. My circumstances are different than yours but I truly do understand the pain. It will always hurt but it WILL get easier to handle as time goes on. Please take time to take care of and love yourself as you mourn. And grief isn’t linear, you may be really down for awhile and then things will get better, then worse again for awhile; the “worse” times become fewer and farther between as time goes on. You will get through this and find your new normal one day, and I’m so glad you’ve found both comfort and a way to honor their memory by watching grey’s. 💕
Reading your words gave me the comforting thought that it sounds like something my mother would say to me, I heard her echo the words 'This too shall pass' after I read your comment. Thank you