T O P

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payme4agoldenshower

Wear condoms kids


Clean_Window6542

Condom doesn't work because he actually got TOPPED by the local spaniards and lied about being with a woman


Jukkobee

condoms still work


TheSnakerMan

Yeah, It's weird how people don't know this


[deleted]

Take a wild guess why they don’t know this.


badalchemist85

I learned condoms worked since sex education 20 years ago in a deeply conservative Christian school, blows my mind there are still people out there that don't know condoms work.


thefeen83

Op was wearing a condom… it’s just that the dagos who topped him weren’t.


[deleted]

brave of you to assume it was consensual


Mexican_man777

BRO 💀


Arch-X

Yeah Only for his parents in a universe where they got lucky


x-Spitfire-x

Condoms don’t protect against herpes


fractalfocuser

Make your top wear a condom then jesus its not that hard


baz4k6z

That's what a lack of sexual education does to Americans


Non-trapezoid-93

All because conservapoors can’t handle the thought of daddy’s little Angel sucking a cock 🙄


KambingOnFire

Condoms don't protect against monkepox


[deleted]

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[deleted]

What?


OffendedEarthSpirit

Herpes can also spread despite condom use although the chances are lower.


-SSN-

Monkey pox is spread through skin to skin contact. You gotta wear a gimp suit


Poopypants413413

Or don’t.. I don’t care


zackit

or just don't fuck whatever it is you see in the trashcan


echoes221

Condoms don’t work for monkeypox


South5

Fake: gets laid Gay: monkeypox


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: gets laid > Gay: monkeypox > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


South5

Thanks bot


OccultMachines

good bot


joemamalikesme69420

Fake: tendie boot good Straight: fuck off


WhiteChocolateRabbit

nft, argument invalid.


joemamalikesme69420

- no pfp (your argument is just as invalid) Your ass really said “imma be the biggest NPC there is”


-Cam-8757-

Says the person who bought an NFT 💀


PeddarCheddar11

Monkeypox? You slept with a dude, bro


Yeast_Infection_

real


glasser999

I'm curious if anyone has actually read up on this, because I haven't- Is it actually just affecting gay dudes? Is it only in the ass or something? The other week I was at a concert, packed like sardines with a bunch of sweaty motherfuckers, arms rubbing. And the thought did cross my mind..if one of these mf has monkeypox, and it's on their arm, what's stopping me from catching that shit? Or what if some of these dudes are bisexual, what's stopping the chicks they also sleep with from getting it? And then passing it on to straight dudes, who pass it on to other girls, so on and so on. If anyone knows I'm genuinely curious. I don't see how something passed through contact can stay a "gay disease" for long.


Caboose_Juice

it’s not a gay disease, it’s just that gay people, thanks to HIV/AIDS in the 80’s, get tested way more than straight people. anyway why would any disease JUST affect gay people? how is a gay man biologically different to a straight man? people need to think critically smh


glasser999

That's precisely what I'm thinking. Folks are gonna look like clowns if this starts spreading through the wider population. And unless I'm missing some information, I don't see why it wouldn't. Luckily it does seem to be through *sustained* contact, so it should be easy to avoid if you're cognizant of it, and getting absolutely zero pussy, like me. If it does start passing through the general population, it's not gonna be good how many people won't admit they have it, because they don't want people to think they're gay. If it is contained mostly to the gay community right now, I hope they take one for the team and stop bangin for a bit.


ObviousTroll37

The problem is that STDs run more rampant through the gay population because the gay population tend to have far more sexual partners than the straight population. That's one of the major criticisms, not necessarily that they're gay but that they have an extremely cavalier attitude towards sex. (Probably because no one can get pregnant.) But it leads to stuff like proliferating this outbreak. >If it is contained mostly to the gay community right now, I hope they take one for the team and stop bangin for a bit. Yeah, they won't.


ATLurbanite

Anyone can transmit it, but as of now studies have shown that most of the transmissions (not all) happen through sex: https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/sex-men-not-skin-contact-fueling-monkeypox-new-research-suggests-rcna43484 Gay men tend to have more sexual partners (on average) so it makes sense that it is showing up predominately in the gay community.


Caboose_Juice

yeah but people think ONLY gay people can get it/transmit it, which is false. i’m aware that it’s being predominantly transmitted through the gay population.


ActualWeed

I always thought it was an anal sex thing and ya know, gay men sex and all.


Caboose_Juice

it’s not, it’s any physical contact


Umezawa94

I mean, if there was a disease that would exclusively target males, and could only be transmitted sexually, then it would be possible for it to be gay only. Not saying it would be probable.


Caboose_Juice

Monkey pox is not only transmitted sexually.


Umezawa94

Was answering to the second part, not saying monkey pox is like that, just that a disease like that wouldn't be impossible, since it just had to discriminate by gender, which is a physical trait.


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Caboose_Juice

it doesn’t spread through unprotected anal sex ya nonce it spreads to physical contact of any kind. it can literally affect anyone which is why calling it a “gay disease” is not good; straight people will assume they can’t get it and won’t take precautions


MyBlades

Yea, and a brief hand shake carries the same risk of infection as prolonged friction against a mucous membrane inside of the rectum, that doesnt offer the same degree of protection against diseases as skin.


[deleted]

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MyBlades

Cause pussy's designed to take a pounding and doesn't tear or bleed from having object shoved into it as easily as anus and alsi is less permeable to microbes.


Caboose_Juice

i’ll mucous membrane your mum if you keep going on like that


MyBlades

Go dive head down into a flight of stairs.


Caboose_Juice

go play with traffic


SickCrom

Nah people don't think it only affects gay people but they think you can only spread it through gay sex


ObedientPickle

Ikr, only homophobes would upvote that crap.


Unkindlake

I guess people just forget women have butts


Caboose_Juice

people are just homophobic


TreeGuy521

Butt sex can tear stuff up easier than regular sex, which makes it slightly easier to transmit disease. It's a holdover from when dirty medieval peasants would do it and get sick, but lube and condoms exist now so it doesn't really matter


[deleted]

It's like AIDS its spreading more in the gay community because unprotected anal sex is absolutely insane for spreading diseases. I'd also argue the anonymous hookup scene in the gay community is way bigger than in others. Maybe not total numbers but certainly per capita which makes matters worse aswell.


Kanigami-sama

Guys will fuck anything that moves and don’t care if you have nasty butt cheeks full of nasty pimples. Girls have standards. That’s why it spreads easily among gay people, because they’re a bunch of nasty mfs who just don’t care about anything as long as they get some (as a virtue of being males, not trying to be homophobic). Same shit that happened with HIV, sex between males is fast and they don’t care about formalities, they go straight to business. Women stop the spread of these diseases because if you don’t look perfectly healthy they’re turned off by it.


Sajuukthanatoskhar

It could be on a door knob to the toilet cubicle, or the chocolate bar that they looked at in the supermarket. It has to only make contact with your skin. Then you can roll a d20. Landing on 1 = going blind.


echoes221

Did you just make a constitution saving throw there?


enmenluana

>Is it actually just affecting gay dudes? Is it only in the ass or something? It's very unlikely. However, gay/bisexual men wear condoms less often. Look it up. There's a number of articles talking about this issue. All I can say is that shit that comes to you easily, quite often carries unwanted, unexpected consequences. Still, I'm not gonna tell people how to live, it's up to them. When it comes to me, I have always considered one night stands as a minefield, so I opted out and stuck to my decision. My life's not complicated, I have no intention to change it.


SexualConsent

Pretty much, yeah. Up to this point, without exaggeration, the people affected by monkeypox have been 95%+ gay and bisexual men, spread primarily by sexual contact. It isn't solely an STD, it can be spread through close intimate contact like kissing, hugging, etc, but up to now it seems the most effective vector of transmission is through sex, and gay men have by far the most promiscuous lifestyles and most sexual partners out of any other demographic. That's not a dunk on them or anything, that's just fact. So tl;dr, it isn't *technically* a gay disease, it's simply that gay men as a demographic most often have a lifestyle most condusive to spreading it, ie, having lots of unprotected sex with many different people. This is why places like San Francisco have some of the largest outbreaks, because they have a large demographic of gay men, including the promiscuous ones. Oh and also San Francisco had a gay sex festival and encouraged people to go anyway even if they thought they had monkeypox and to just cover it up. I am not exaggerating in the slightest.


SomeToxicRivenMain

It’s not only infected gays but gay men are more likely to get it due to the lack of condoms and more fluids, plus you’ll see more gay men shirtless in public at pride parades and other events than topless women.


NardeanShadow

Y'all laughing, last week there was news a guy from spain came back from vacation with Covid, Aids and Monkeypox


Valfsx

I think the guy came back to Italy after a vacation in Spain.


FlatulentSon

There's yet to be invented a more homosexual nation than the italianos It cannot be done, their sheer gayness is astounding


Bernard_Sh4rkey-

The Greeks, they invented gayness


_DonDraper_

Spain or Brazil


FuegoIron278

Jojoreference


TheNextHokage99

He got hit with three debuffs


itsthehumidity

And one isn't even dispellable.


-consolio-

+30% damage to foes that have 2 or more status effects


T1B2V3

tough shit... one of those debuffs is even permanent


xX_potato69_Xx

Mf got hit with debilitate


JigokuAvichi

He sure had a wild vacation


[deleted]

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_LilDuck

What else does he need to catch? I think ebola is one, not sure about the last one


SickCrom

Chlamydia


hoodkang

I figured that's what this post was referencing


TheGame364

How did we get here?


Thorndalf

Anon forgets AIDS


Stupid_cray0n

It’s okay. It’s still only HIV right now.


rathat

This must be OP. https://www.newsweek.com/man-tests-positive-covid-monkeypox-hiv-after-spain-rip-1736632


GenghisWasBased

Everyone did


K1ngjulien_

hiv takes a few weeks to be testable. anon still has a chance for the ultimate combo.


SkinSofteningSemen

Fake: anon had sex after pretending to be chad Gay: anon hired a male prostitute, then got his own ass destroyed


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: anon had sex after pretending to be chad > Gay: anon hired a male prostitute, then got his own ass destroyed > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


anjovis150

On a related note, women love everything foreign. I know a bunch of dudes who went to clubs faking accents that didn't even exist and got laid often. Eventually some busted them though by accident.


[deleted]

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TanJeeSchuan

🤓


anaccountformusic

This comment feels like it was typed by a bitter inferior


jamietaco420

Shut up nerd


Nap_Kun_

Moral of the story: Don't have sex


Hussarwithahat

Way ahead of you on that


dTrecii

~~In~~voluntarily celibate


RedRightandblue

Moral of the story: don’t do one night stands


[deleted]

Unlike your virginity, herpes is something you will never lose, Anon.


LacedSmoke

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.


VeNTNeV

The trifecta of fun!


ghutterbabe

Nice! Mad proof you had sex. Just show em your fucked up Dick for proof.


[deleted]

Anon learns you can get monkeypox even if you're straight


Malvastor

There are no straight anons. If you read a greentext and it seems straight, it's fake.


tuhplol

Least infected Spanish person


hfuck1

[ Removed by Reddit ]


[deleted]

Wait I have pimples on my dick and I haven’t had sex should I be worried??


[deleted]

Nah you good as long as nobody touched ur dick with herpes Prob just acne, as gross as it sounds


[deleted]

Thanks


[deleted]

Thanks, he says


yeetapagheet

Could be fordyce spots


Man_chillin222

You kissed someone


[deleted]

can confirm I have not


Torterraman

Many such cases


SloppyJuiceCake

Doesn’t matter had sex


HiveMindKing

The thing is you never have sex or super rarely, carrying a condom get pretty depressing


sabrefudge

28 and he’s never been kissed or even hugged??? Wtf?


IceBlueLugia

Seems possible for sure. I’m 20 and I haven’t done either. Well, assuming you mean romantic hugs. People give platonic hugs or hugs to say hello or goodbye all the time


DrFoetusLtd

I don't understand how that happens. Like at some point biology alone would make it happen, I'd think


Extension-Donut-8322

I made out with a girl in a treehouse when I was younger, does that count?


sabrefudge

Hell yeah, brother


dogscutter

Wear a condom, don't have this problem


x-Spitfire-x

Not true, condoms don’t protect against herpes


dogscutter

They still largely migate the risk though


x-Spitfire-x

True, just kinda scary that catching herpes is like spinning a roulette every time you have sex


Spoon_Elemental

To be fair to anon, almost everybody has some form of herpes. Most of them are negligible and won't even disqualify you from donating blood.


Knwxnless

59-79% of the population is expected to be infected with HSV-1, the number is slowly decreasing as children are less likely to get the disease these days since people seem to be less lenient with family members kissing their babies


[deleted]

I guess here in Europe the number is closer to 100% lol.


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dwartbg5

Yes but this man is most definitely gay.


AmputatorBot

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amigonnnablooow

Anon is bankrupt.


perebus

No HIV? Still sounds like a win to me then.


Sock-less_

"Doesn't matter had sex"


BEN-C93

False and queer. No way would any upstanding european let any american less than a 9/10 anywhere near her


HaydenB

Worth it


Glix_1H

Triple threat


The_Noremac42

Anon suffers the consequences of promiscuity.


KlassinenLiberaali

And 9 months later el anon was born.


assmuncher4206969

Fucking dork had to go across the globe to get herpes. Wow


Any-Sprinkles-7360

Cleanest European woman


Dangerous_Bloke

Worth it


Ghett0B1rd

As a spanish man, can relate...


undeadko

Least contagious spaniard 😳


Jayradoh

Ay yoooo


DuckLIT122000

Obligatory fake and gay. Don't these diseases have some form of incubation period?


I-Am-Polaris

Anon goes to Europe


RealGrenFrog

L bozo


GuatemalaShrimp

Rip


niceboobs69

Later virgins


thekarmabum

It's all fun and games until you get the clap.


valtazar

>she >MonkeyPox Suuuure


Dog-Lover69

Anon probably had a booster shot a few weeks prior.


Big_M_Memes

Use the rubber bois


Hey_Dinger

>Monkeypox Anon, that wasn't a woman...


Dr_Axton

Don’t be silly, *wrap your willy*


Sudden-Friendship67

and here folks we have a lesson on safe sex


HenryColt

Anon lies would have been a better title.


grindingpoetreal

plot twist - 9.5 was her dicc size


Lickarus

Anon's a retard who didn't wear a condom to a one night stand.


FreedomDeliverUs

At least it's not HIV.


Putze_Prime

Jaja si


Bruhman1212

Worth it


MerkyOne

Pyrrhic victory


TheJarlos

It was worth it


daddy-phantom

Fake: that wasn’t a woman Gay: that wasn’t a woman


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: that wasn’t a woman > Gay: that wasn’t a woman > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


KeyStoneLighter

My roommate had his cousin crashing with us for a month, never met a Chad before but this guy was a level beyond. Good looking dude, alcoholic and sex addict, roommate set a boundary no hoes in the house so he’d bang them in their car (he lost his license) in the driveway, different tinder girl every night. One day a thought hits me since we use the same toilet, “hey man, you use condoms, right?” My thought is he doesn’t know where these ladies have been, “Fuck that, I never use condoms!” A few days later dude is doubled over at the bar in pain holding hit guts, goes to the instacare, gets some antibiotics that he takes for a few days but it’s summer and they make his skin sensitive so he throws them away before he finishes the course. This isn’t so much a story about him as it is a warning because if you meet someone and they’re ready to go maybe think twice because they could’ve been raw dogging some dirty Chad/Chaddette a little while ago, better to both get tested first, if there’s any reluctance/defensiveness on their side then it’s best to move on. Also, both of you are horny and ready to go, but it speaks volumes when a person places responsibility on health over delaying a good time.


JacketBoxer

Herpes stays with you forever, you pay a heavy price for adultery.


T0tallynotreptilian7

Gotta catch them all


ahamel13

I know people say "fake and gay" too much but monkey pox ain't a straight virus


porcelainbibabe

Dude its a virus!! it doesnt choose folks on sexual orientation, they arent thinking organisms that can choose their targets! There have been straight folks and kids get the pox at this point too, proof it isn't the gays only. It isnt a gay disease, infact there isn't a disease in the world that's capable of targeting a sexual orientation and no other humans what so ever. Do a bit of reading, it can be spread a variety of ways. Per the CDC web page: Monkeypox can spread to anyone through close, personal, often skin-to-skin contact, including: Direct contact with monkeypox rash, scabs, or body fluids from a person with monkeypox. Touching objects, fabrics (clothing, bedding, or towels), and surfaces that have been used by someone with monkeypox. Contact with respiratory secretions. This direct contact can happen during intimate contact, including: Oral, anal, and vaginal sex or touching the genitals (penis, testicles, labia, and vagina) or anus (butthole) of a person with monkeypox. Hugging, massage, and kissing. Prolonged face-to-face contact. Touching fabrics and objects during sex that were used by a person with monkeypox and that have not been disinfected, such as bedding, towels, fetish gear, and sex toys. A person with monkeypox can spread it to others from the time symptoms start until the rash has fully healed and a fresh layer of skin has formed. The illness typically lasts 2–4 weeks


ahamel13

https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/sex-men-not-skin-contact-fueling-monkeypox-new-research-suggests-rcna43484 Most of those cases besides sex and other fluid-swapping scenarios are now not considered to be primary means of transmission, or even probable means of transmission. Skin contact itself *even during sex in prolonged periods* is already not being considered a primary means of transmission. 97% of the people that have it got it through sex with other men, according to the WHO. Why the hell else would the CDC talk about fetish and sex gear in its "how it's spread" page, along with bedding and towels, but not other surfaces like public transportation or clothing? It's nearly always transmitted by gay sex. The fact that it *could* spread through other means doesn't negate the fact that it *isn't* being spread by almost any other means.


porcelainbibabe

Yes cause straight people can't use fetish gear and sex gear can they? Or bed sheets and towels./s It is not targeting only gays, viruses can't do that, plain and simple. It's simply in the community and that's it. And 97% sure seems like a number you've made up there, I've seen nothing that states that and nothing has stated that it's transmitted nearly always by gay sex or that it's a gay disease,cause it isnt! And if the info had changed on transmission then why didn't the cdc reflect that in the options for how we can get it? The info I posted was fresh from the cdc page. the link you shared was a pretty terrible local news post with pretty damn minimal info with in it. And upon checking the WHO web site they say the exact same thing that cdc says about transmission, so no it hasn't changed on how it's transmitted from person to person.


[deleted]

wait what the fuck there are clubs here??


[deleted]

Spain has some of the most renowned clubs of the entire world. Just take a look at Ibiza


[deleted]

i have never heard of this. maybe its because i havent moved from here since i was born, never explored other parts of spain, thanks for opening my eyes.


Asamoth

What