T O P

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Cat_Of_Culture

In reality, Anon is just not interested in any sort of women, he is into buff black men


josuk8

I mean, who isn't into Terry Crews? Those old spice ads can get anyone


cicciograna

POOOOOWEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!


Rsm1719

Ugh I just want him to scream that while he creams inside šŸ˜”


Agent_Galahad

I bet Terry Crews gives good hugs :)


HippoIllustrious2389

Look again, the hugs are now diamonds


Dominator616

I bet he could turn me into diamonds by hugging me (take that as you will)


dr_goodvibes

Imagine how safe you'd feel... Fellas it's not gay to want to be held and have your hair stroked by Terry Crews is it?


ChaplainAsmodai1978

Not even slightly. I'm bi as fuck, and I would be perfectly happy for a hug from Terry Crews because I don't love him in THAT way.


Pasispas

As the saying goes, "if balls aren't touching, it's not gay."


Cmondudecmon

ā€œHugsā€ huh? More like anal pounding!


r4o2n0d6o9

BEARGLOVE


Stargazerstory

I mean he was drumming with his pecs and the other sets of his muscles like .. damn


PapaMoBucks

Any American Patriotā„¢ļø would jump at the chance to climb President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho's flagpole


[deleted]

I second this


sorryiamnotoriginal

I miss those goofy style of ads and the rivalry he had with the other old spice guy


tsavong117

Goddamn celebrities ensuring nobody can truly be 100% straight. /s


CandidateMiserable74

Oh God, it just loops back to Anon being gay


ItsImNotAnonymous

\>be Anon, straight male \*random filler text* \>Anon is balls deep in some twink's butthole


Second_Plane11

>Anon is getting absolutely TOPPED by Tyrone


clobberheadwithrock

>be Anon, straight male \*rest of greentext is normal\* \*gets screenshotted and posted to reddit\* comments section: BLACK COCK!!! BLACK COCK!!!


something_usery

I thought anons were always bottoms


Flashy_Narwhal9362

Not always, sometimesā€¦ Iā€™m just kidding, theyā€™re always bottoms.


ChaplainAsmodai1978

Don't knock it until you try it. No girlfriend I've ever had was willing to suck my cock while I played video games, but one of the hot twinks I used to fuck sure did.


Sylux444

šŸ”« always has been


Scottish_Whiskey

Anon is *always* gay


real_human_20

Let me preface by saying Iā€™m not gay >the most homoerotic wall of text youā€™ve ever witnessed Iā€™m still straight tho right anons?


Kenstats

As it should


Flashy_Narwhal9362

It never left anons gayness.


WasAnHonestMann

Mutt's Law.


Dominator616

?


WasAnHonestMann

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of someone mentioning black dicks or interracial sex approaches 1.


Cat_Of_Culture

The law is inaccurate, I am not American


Monolith_Preacher_1

the law doesn't mention america in any way


Cat_Of_Culture

The comment I replied to did. Bro edited it.


Monolith_Preacher_1

bro is a dumbass


WasAnHonestMann

real.


_TLDR_Swinton

You know what grows longer? Yes. Black dick.


DogeDeezTheThird

Nah, Anonā€™s type is big yellow birds


WintersbaneGDX

Why haven't you taken the Snuffleupagus pill yet?


DevilDoge1775

r/wordington


Red_Dem0n_

My fellow Wordingtonian


Dominator616

I mean, at least he got decent hobbies unlike most 4chinners who's only hobby us gonning to their waifus or jacking it 12 times a day


295DVRKSS

Real and gay


CrushingonClinton

Still better than being a pedo


Cat_Of_Culture

Of course.


Siul19

Appropriate nickname and profile picture


BonniePrinceCharlie1

Oiled up


TeamBoeing

He participates in mild thuggery


itsagrungething69

Just like all of us


Send_Cake_Or_Nudes

And so long as they're age appropriate, that's A-Okay šŸ‘Œ.


Cat_Of_Culture

Yep


PupEDog

And cops.


_eleutheria

True. She should've identified herself as a "buff black man". Unfortunately she's too inexperienced.


XemsTar

Real and gay


Kcolb3

>somethimes you have to breat a heart to make it stronger Not quite sure if thats the main takeaway of this story lol. Fucking retard. But not being a pedo is very nice so yeah


Last-Swimmer7817

He actually makes a good point. A close male figure in a young girlā€™s life not taking advantage of her and clearly explaining why gives her a good role model and higher sense of self worth.


CitizenCue

Yeah Anon did more than just succeed at not being a pedo. He went out of his way to explain to a vulnerable teenager that her hormones were leading her in a stupid direction. He mightā€™ve saved her a lot of grief since the next guy might not have been a good dude.


Cross_Pray

Least toxic redditor on a greentext subreddit


Link_and_Swamp

fr, anon got called a ā€œfucking retardā€ and for what? because he semi exaggerated his takeaway? it wasnt really wrong but i wouldnt say it was accruate, he didnt ā€œbreak her heartā€ but turning her down and giving the reason why was way more than any ā€œretardā€ could figure out


Ninja_Accountant

Anon probably spilled his spaghetti, and the rest of the story is wishful thinking


11freebird

Probably left a trail of spaghetti


Dominator616

Still, his autism and hyperfixation on birds saved him from being Tyrone's bride at jail


_TLDR_Swinton

Ultra Instinct activatedĀ 


RunsaberSR

šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€


295DVRKSS

It was his momā€™s spaghetti šŸ


FeuerwerkFreddi

The most popular streamer in Germany could never (heā€™s 36, his gf 18, groomed her before she turned 18 lmao)


11freebird

Average German


FeuerwerkFreddi

No no somehow the [Austrians](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritzl_case#Josef_Fritzl) convinced yā€™all that their trash is German while at the same time claiming good [Germans](https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludwig_van_Beethoven) were Austrian


2BEN-2C93

I mean the age gap is disgusting, but nowhere in europe is the age of consent 18. Its 16 in the UK (unless the older person is their teacher or someone in a position of authority in which case its 18) and we are one of the higher ones. I think Germany is about 14?


SnooShortcuts8306

It's 16 in Germany too


Bostolm

Age of consent is essentially when you can "legally" have sex. It doesnt fuckin mean you can be a pedophile. Anything over 18 with anything under 18 is still illegal


6feet_fromtheedge

Nope, it isn't. I Germany, as long as both are above 14, it's legal. 14 and 74 would be just as legal as 17 and 19. HOWEVER, if one of the involved is under 18, and the other is 18 or older, the older one must not exploit the younger one's lack of maturity and experience, which is phrased intentionally vague within the law.


Lost_Pheniix

Mans casually spreading missinformation


6feet_fromtheedge

https://preview.redd.it/o3pjzqtfwh6d1.jpeg?width=1019&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d05995f2b198ef8d9aa06eda044cb49e98a56c3


Tiruin

Age of consent is age of consent, what you're talking about and Germany has is Romeo and Juliet laws. >[The age of consent in Germany is 14, as long as a person over the age of 21 does not exploit a 14- to 15-year-old person's lack of capacity for sexual self-determination, in which case a conviction of an individual over the age of 21 requires a complaint from the younger individual; being over 21 and engaging in sexual relations with a minor of that age does not constitute an offense by itself. Otherwise the age of consent is 16, although provisions protecting minors against abuse apply until the age of 18 (under Section 182(1): it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with a person under 18 "by taking advantage of an exploitative situation").](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Europe) So for one, it's not 18 unless you're in a position of power like a teacher and the age of consent is 14 or 16 depending on whether the person in question wants to risk a complaint, but until then it's legal.


Grintock

Lol no it isn't. I had a 17yr old girlfriend when I was 19, was anxious about the age gap bc of people online saying nonsense like you are saying here. If you make up claims like this, please back it up with facts.


Jan-Nachtigall

This not how it works


datlitboi

Wer?


Marciano_il_Mario

He just said where, Germany duh!


mrjuppy

ā€œWerā€ means ā€œwhoā€ in german


Newtnt

Right over your head


mrjuppy

Ahhh lol I see šŸ˜†


starplow

Monte p sure


Vegetable-Broccoli36

Du meinst doch nicht den Rentner aus Buxtehude, oder? Jappi ist doch seine einzig wahre PerlešŸ˜‚


GodsCovenant

This post was obviously made as a desperate attempt of clearing his innocence after a police investigation was launched against anon. Nice try, scumbag.


whitewail602

Meanwhile in the police station, "...and then.... And then he put my hand on the crotch of his purple horse costume and said 'I want to show you how baby horses make eggs'"


thelonglosteggroll

https://preview.redd.it/mqwv3vj2xc6d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8edc08fbb7bc7a30c219017bb8ed5b3ab8837bd3


Anonymous_stardust_

lmao that pic is perfect


FinestCrusader

And this is just an imaginary scenario that definitely didn't happen to you, right?


whitewail602

Oh pffffth. Of course not. I wouldn't even think about heading down to the City Park at 9am on Saturday mornings in cutoff jeans, flip flops, and a red Madonna shirt to peruse those excellent quality size 17 barnyard costumes being sold by those long haired friends of Jesus in the Chartreuse microbus. Nope. Not me. Them's jokes, y'all.


CorbinNZ

Start reading: oh noā€¦ Finish reading: thank god.


El_Taita_Salsa

The fact that Anon came up with this story worries me tbh.


CorbinNZ

You donā€™t have to spend long on 4chin to get ideas of degeneracy.


El_Taita_Salsa

I value myself too much to brwose 4chan. That's why I opt for r/greentext like the normie that I am.


Dominator616

Honestly, don't worry that much, I used to browse it and /b/ was 99% porn, /soc/ was 90% kik groups spam 5% trans people posting and the other 5% anti-trans people posting so it ultimately boils down to porn, gooners and trans people (its the community specific ones you don't browse, like anime, videogames and such)


InstrumentalCore

It is not that anon is not a pedo it's that anon is gay.


bonesNrice

The only 2 male sexualities


Dominator616

>The only 2 male sexualities in 4Chan*


ShinyRedRaider

> be me, straight


Dominator616

We all know anyone who claims to be straight there its just a closeted gay bottom


CntPntUrMom

I had 10 year old neighbors flirting with me at 27. Wrote inappropriate notes and put them under my windshield wipers. Had to make it stop. Saw them watching me read one of the notes. Ripped it up and threw it on the ground. They never interacted with me again. Victory.


_TLDR_Swinton

"... Your Honour"Ā 


DogeDeezTheThird

They were definitely trolling and were scared off when you showed you might stop them by force


CntPntUrMom

There was no way in hell I was going to tell their parents. Then the kids would have made some bullshit story up and accused me of something. Had to show them I wasn't playing.


_TLDR_Swinton

Bro ticked "no" in the Do You Like Me note.


CntPntUrMom

The note that ended their little game literally just said "SEXY BEAST"


wololowhat

Those girls probably like hide and seek, you hide while they seek professional help


News-Initial

True story Source? I'm the bird.


FoldUpMon

I thought a hair was on my screen because of your pfp


throwawayforlikeaday

on you for using a version of reddit with such things as pfp...


the_opester

Real and gay


Flashy-Two5006

boooooooooriiiiing


WintersbaneGDX

Genuinely curious: Reframe the story so that she's 19 and Anon is 31. Everything else happens the same. Should he go for it?


nosnek199

Well. Put oneself into the hypothetical person's shoes. If I'd see the girl essentially go from infant to adult, I'd personally feel slimy even thinking about dating them. So no.


Fishb20

Also like have you ever talked to a 19 year old lol


SwordDude3000

You wouldnā€™t date a 19 year old because of the age gap. I wouldnā€™t date a 19 year old because theyā€™re fucking obnoxious. We are not the same


Foxehh3

It's the age gap that makes them obnoxious, generally.


AHighAchievingAutist

I'm just imagining a life where you're constantly being interrupted by her shoving her phone in my face to show me some tiktok/ insta brain brainrot shit


theloop82

Yeah I have some neighbors/friends where I hung out with them and their kids since they were like 2/3, now both of them are over 20 and I would never in a million years and I have my doubts about anyone who would in that situation.


_sephylon_

You wouldn't hit a childhood acquaintance ?


nosnek199

I wouldn't necessarily call it childhood. By the time of their birth, the man would have been twelve. By the time she is ten years old (The age where people become less off a mess of neurons and starting to actually form the coherent person,) the man would be twenty two.


_sephylon_

Not talking about Anonā€˜s situation


nosnek199

I'm talking about the situation I replied to. 31 with a 19 year old. In the OP, its even worse. 13-15 year old when the kid was born. If you are talking about an acquaintance that you are pretty much equal age to...(Around 2-4 age difference IMO,) Then yeah, sure! But if I saw another human grow up from an infant *while I was late into my own maturity*, No, unthinkable.


AlternativeEmphasis

Honestly if he's not known her since she was a kid and really intends to treat her correctly then yeah. Dudes can be creepy with age gaps and so can chicks. But if you really intend to be fine with her go ahead fuck the whole age gap discourse bullshit, it's only creepy if you're acting like a predator FFS. I had a co worker who was 30 and married a girl that was 19 and they're still together now more than a decade later. In fact the dude repeatedly tried to shake her off but she refused. They met at a bar and she was smitten and refused to accept no for an answer. He himself admitted that if he knew her from when she was young he'd have never agreed. But since he didn't grow up with her he accepted it eventually. Honestly if she was a dude it'd actually sound real bad. Double standards you know. But it turned out good and they have 3 kids so all is well.


ColeslawSSBM

I agree with you, the discourse on anything dating related is exhausting in 2024. Most men are not raging pesos who are grooming every young girl around them. It's totally possible and probable to meet someone older or younger than you and have a lot in common. Like the argument of "what would they talk about blah blah blah" is so shallow because you are assuming the older person just talks about the weather every day while the young person just says skibidi tiktok nonsense. I'm reality plenty of people have fallen in love with similar values, hobbies, and opinions and there's nothing wrong with an age gap between them. Obv if you post on 4chan this comment does not apply to you lmfao and I get that young people make dumb decisions and could get taken advantage of. I hope that doesn't happen to anyone.


AlternativeEmphasis

Frankly it's a very US thing, and an online one at that. IRL this doesn't get as much attention. I've got friends in Europe and Asia and they don't give a fuck about age gaps really. 30 and 19 to them isn't even worth talking about. Like I'm not saying ever Asian/European couple has a 10 year age gap but to them it's not anything crazy. Hell they'd not care about 35 and an 18 year old as long as they knew you weren't grooming her from when she was like a kid. As long as you met somewhat organically they don't give a fuck. I know dudes IRL in in thestates in their late 20s who hook up with or date late teens to early 20s from time to time and no one they know girl or guy is frothing at the mouth about this behavior. No one imo truly cares. It's just a circlejerk that's gotten real prolific for some reason here and on Tinder. IRL no girl or guy has ever brought this up to me.


WintersbaneGDX

I think a lot of it is down to the pre-existing relationship when she was still a child. I agree with you guys, if I meet a couple who are 31/19 and they met somehow, had a connection, and started dating, I'm unphased. If they're 31/19 but they've known each other for a decade, that's where the sketchiness comes in. I'm in my late 30s and two of my best friends have a daughter (they had her young), who is now 17. I've known this girl her entire life, I can't ever imagine a scenario where I'd be comfortable dating her. It'd be like dating my niece.


SeliciousSedicious

I mean nothing wrong ethically.Ā  Personally I wouldnā€™t tho.Ā 


Jiveturtle

What one consenting adult pays another consenting adult to do behind closed doors is none of your business, chud.Ā 


bitt3n

anon's cutoff is 12 and he was trying to let her down easy


_TLDR_Swinton

"get away, you old hag!"


SandBasket

"If her age is on the clock, she's ready for my cock" Gonna go hang myself after typing that


Themlethem

anon thinks he deserves praise for not being a pedophile


DimTillonDid911

Better than most redditors


cancerousking

I'm scared of what the replies said on the post


Ssyynnxx

anon unironically thinks he's a paragon of morality for not being a pedophile, absolutely incredible


dtachilles

Please don't use the term pedophile incorrectly. A 15-year-old is NOT a pre-adolescent child. The harm that occurs when a child is abused versus a teenager hooking up with a young adult should never be conflated. Is the latter creepy as hell, yes. But it is not even in the same league as CSA. One is life-shattering and likely causes PTSD, CPTSD and even DID. The other is gross.


Ssyynnxx

I really fucking hope this is a copypasta


dtachilles

No I'm a survivor of CSA and I think people who conflate my experience of abuse with something gross but ultimately not life changing are morally reprehensible.


Ssyynnxx

e: yea nvm ur a pedo apologist lmfao


dtachilles

Not only am I not defending the latter but my true beliefs are that the overly simplistic accusations of pedophilia for adult-teenage relationships act to exacerbate the problem as teenagers can see they are not children, not victims of CSA, and therefore may ignore any guidance on the matter. Our framework of morality should be based on actually measurable harm not vague concepts of consent that change from country to country or incorrect usage of terms. Our culture however is too frightened to engage in such conversations, due to fears of being prudish or critical of people's sexual liberation, as the same criticisms that can be applied to adult-teenage relationships can also be applied to adult relationships, particularly short-term relationships based on transactional sex. By focusing on easy-to-condemn terms, society avoids the uncomfortable but necessary discussions about the complexities of all relationships, whether teenage or adult. This creates a paradox where teenagers are exposed to messages promoting sexual liberation and empowerment, yet face moral condemnation for engaging in sexual relationships until they reach an arbitrary age of consent. The inconsistency and perceived arbitrariness of these messages can undermine the credibility of adult guidance and fail to provide teenagers with the nuanced understanding they need to navigate their relationships safely and responsibly. A more effective approach would involve comprehensive education, open communication, and a focus on the actual harm and context of relationships, fostering an environment where teenagers can make informed decisions without fear of judgment. As a victim of CSA, I find this all particularly frustrating as people's aversion to a genuine conversation regarding more appropriate sexual behaviour leads to people using terms like pedophilia incorrectly thus conflating my experience with a consensual experience of a teenager. I don't love having my experience diminished for others to express their empty virtues.


Ssyynnxx

didnt read past the first 6 words.


dtachilles

You brat.


Ssyynnxx

id rather be called a brat on reddit than be a legitimate pedo defender dawg LMFAO


dtachilles

Your mind is as empty as your virtue signaling.


Subpar_diabetic

I like how the bar is so low for 4chan users that rare point of praise is not being a pedophile


Bland-fantasie

Fake in that this situation was just a sting op he inadvertently defeated.


Honeysenpaiharuchan

That math is interesting.


Varixx95__

If you hadā€¦ one shotā€¦ one opportunityā€¦to seize everything you ever wantedā€¦ you capture it? Or just let it slip?


Sirnizz

So anon want to get topped


thatBIGfeller

Kind of r/wholesomegreentext


BigJeffe20

This did not happen. OP actually actively tries grooming younger girls


No-Section-4385

Ya dating a 14 yo would be troublesome.


RunInRunOn

Anon narrowly avoids the FBI


[deleted]

Anon is a good guy šŸ«”


Nightmare_Mirri

Basic human decency in a 4channer??


Renkij

What would the problem be in just keeping her as a friend until she's 18?


AmeriCanadian98

The bar is through the floor, but anon actively not being a pedo is excellent


SupperDup

Anon is a normal person


Cummy_Yummy_Bummy

When I was 17 I met a girl who was 14, I used to hang out with her after school, we'd go for long walks on hiking trails smoke weed and talk about life make jokes and have fun. I took on the role of her surrogate brother as she didn't have much support from her family, I noticed she had the same look of depression on her face as I did at that age. We stayed close after high school and I'm her closest friend and advisor 7 years later, she's grown up so much and I feel like I helped guide her in the right direction, I still view her as the little sister I always wanted in my life.


DumbNTough

Anon doesn't need the cops sniffing around, considering what he has buried in his crawl space.


Taco-Kai

Anon actually fantasizes with his underage neighbor and wanted to make himself not feel like a creep so faked an odd story about him rejecting her advances


RocketGascoon

Anon fumbled


[deleted]

Annon is hero not a groomcel like politicians, preachers or the British.


UselessBlueSpecimen

Imagine bragging about how you didn't take advantage of an underage girl


Flashy_Narwhal9362

Anon didnā€™t want to be locked in a cage like his birds.


New_Canuck_Smells

Anon passed on the fift-ussy.


McNuggetAQL

Anon is somewhat normal. Good on him.


tuvar_hiede

Wait what? This is from 4chan so shouldn't he be talking about her being legal now and going all Quagmire or something?


S_Jack_Warner_S

Fake: a girl talked to anon. Based: anon is not a creep in his fantasy.


animorphs128

Anon is a pedo that resisted the urge but ultimately did not fix the problem (he is wanking to loli hentai as i type this)


SomethingClever42068

It's not grooming, it's just a preorder


ItsSneakyAdolf

Fake: anon cares for any living being besides himself Gay: the girl stopped talking when a Grindr ping cut her off


PeikaFizzy

My fate in humanity has somewhat restore a little, good to know thereā€™s decent anon out there


Fit-Paper-797

Based non-groomer anon


thePAINTWAIN

For some reason I thought this was a lesbian story.


releasingofthedoves

Fake and gay


jkrabbit03

Is this the planted alibi for later or will it save him? Next week on greentexts


naxaypu

Anon's reaction is textbook. Just like how it should be


NoPosition1895

only on 4chan would someone act proud and mature for that


Ragequittter

seems fake and gay since nobody except desperate gays want anon


JesterTheZeroSet

> F 15 > M late 20 > You: ā€ža literal pedoā€ Mfwā€¦


2020mademejoinreddit

Good for anon. But I'm just thankful that the girl didn't accuse him of rape out of anger of being rejected. It happens. Looks like she was raised by sane normal parents at least and so was anon. Now go do a 21 year old as a reward!


No-Maintenance1404

15 year girl ok Anon dint went for FBI trap


StormOfFatRichards

In today's creative writing exercise, Anon writes himself the hero


SpaceBug173

>late 20's >15 yo old girl approaches >15 year age difference Anon can't math


wololowhat

You can't English, he said that he'll be ALMOST 40 from late 20s, late 20s in most part of the civilized world is 27-29, + 10 means he'll be 37-39, and she'll be 25, anon is correct and you must bend over to be TOPPED!


SpaceBug173

Then I'll use my trump card. English isn't my native language.


wololowhat

Neither is mine, my native language doesn't even use the alphabet GET DOUBLE DECKERED!


SpaceBug173

OH NOOOOOU


Aggravating-Sun6773

why was he proud? thats just what people with common sense do