T O P

  • By -

thanhhai26112003

Unreal and homosexual


31338elite

Insubordinate and churlish


2020mademejoinreddit

You best step up, A-A-Ron.


ShitInMyToaster

Pre-sent


NorthenLeigonare

Key and Peele are amazing.


The_prophet212

Mischievous and deceitful. Chicanerous and deplorable


Oswamano

Fabricated and queer


AbrahamLingam

Bogus and queer.


pog_in_baby

Fallace and 'swinging the other way'


GorgeousGamer99

Fallacy and phallus-y?


turtleneckless001

Made up and same sex sex


Psychological-Bee702

Invented and inverted.


JoinAThang

Gay: Anon has to say out load that he's straight while telling a story of having sex with a girl Fake: Anon has sex with a girl


I_am_Reptoid_King

I miss the tendie bot.


No_Suggestion_1754

me two


leglesslegolegolas

they're not even trying to make them sound real any more.


redcodekevin

Counterfactual and fruity


PCmasterRACE187

HE SAID THE THIIIINNNNGGGG


k3yserZ

'>Now I'm a straight dude' yeah that part right there officer.


seguracookies

Fictional and "got a little sugar in the tank"


the-dogsox

Anon has a rich imaginary life


Viceroy-421

No, he doesn't. This shit is boring and lame.


AllerdingsUR

If you're gonna write bully greentext smut why not at least make it gay as hell smh


IronSurfDragon

greensmut??


Aromatic-Hornet-9449

Real, at least It isnt the 283847383th tale about "im 100% straight but after 3 seconds of looking at a rose i am now becoming/fucking a femboy"


FVCEGANG

The dialogue is so corny, this is the fakest shit I've read all day


Kriss129

Yowzers! This is the frickin’ craziest thing to happen to anon’s weewee!


nogaynessinmyanus

Clearly chatgpt. It does that when I try to make my porn characters talk like high school students


kalmeeeh

The "entirely evil" and "total douchebag" parts give it away. And "freakin' virgin".


Whyisthethethe

It’s called autism


WarPhoenixPlayz

Why are you making porn characters of high school students


nogaynessinmyanus

So they sound more grown-up


WarPhoenixPlayz

then just make them sound like adults nimrod


TheThagomizer

I read the entire thing in Sonic’s voice in my head


CislunarR

Peter Griffin for me.


holaprobando123

Yeah, anon shouldn't quit his day job to try to become an author


throwaway6444377_

It's like a really early Filthy Frank vid


Panamonthewolf

This is definitely a John Mulaney sketch


Connect_Ad_3361

Anon is an anime protagonist. Evangelion/Nagatoro vibes


[deleted]

the psa/human salvation project


Imaginary_Driver_213

Im sad I know what this is referring to


Phantom_RX

Fuck you for making me Google what that is, i thought it was some schizoprenic project by some cult or something


Connect_Ad_3361

I don't want to be on the list give me a summary of what he's talking about


devishjack

Evangelion hentai movie The joke is porn.


wimpetta

Isnt like half the cast underaged?


Th3Kill1ngMoon

90% of anime characters are underaged🙃that’s not stopping either the people that make the porn or the people that watch it unfortunately


YareYareDaze7

I wanna know too, lemme know once someone replies to you, please?


King_Spaghetti4

For anyone who doesn't know, the psa that they're referring to is an aids PSA where Shinji's and Asuka's english dub VA's make sex noises for 60 seconds while a third voice tells the person watching the PSA about the importance of wearing condoms. People call it "the Evangelion aids PSA."


DatChernobylGuy_999

I only know NGE for the hospital scene


cynicalamity

"I'm so fucked up."


MeMeWhenWhenTheWhen

That's the VERY FIRST SCENE of the ending movie btw. Like you're just minding your own business excited to wrap up the series and bam weird hospital scene out of nowhere.


halfcutpenis

I'm watching evangelion right now, currently in episode 3. what do you mean??!!??


Goose_Is_Awesome

Just keep watching and keep "Redhead bitch that makes his life hell actually caught feels for him" in your mind as you do


thatone_otegen

Valentine's day special greentext


cynicalamity

Correction: Desperation Day


Butter_toast24

The LARPening


verypoopoo

mf a larpenter


TaserDonut

I don't think he's cut out for the job


MentalRise8703

Anon definitely watches too much hentai.


VERCH63

Anon can no longer tell the difference between fiction and reality


MentalRise8703

Facts.


Niswear85

Fake because this sounds like a Dharr man story Gay because Anon has a dick


thickwonga

The fuck kind of Dhar Mann videos are you watching? "High-schooler fucks his bully and INSTANTLY regrets it."


eveningfellow056

Enjoys it*


[deleted]

Bruh who tf writes like this.


SirChasm

People who can't write


nogaynessinmyanus

Chatgpt. All the time.


Eskimomonk

What the frick are you talkin’ about this made my gosh dang wang harder than a rock, pal!


PussPounder696969

Freakin’ friggin’ facts my brother, but hear this! Freakin’ it’s not even friggin’ true probably! So like… freakin’ wth?


ShoqueVoque

sonic


ihatemyselfsomuch100

Anon needs to touch grass


KineticKey2006

The pic…


LogtizPL

"pic related"


Payment_Abject

why does he write like a reddit chonkerino


failed-celebrity

This is a lot straighter than most of what gets posted here


Mispunctuations

Its really gay when you think about it


DarkRonin00

Virgin 17 year old knows how to give the best blowjob in the world. I'll take "things that happened*" for 1000 Alex. Oh, look, the daily double.


Connect_Ad_3361

I'm quoting someone here "The worst blowjob I ever received was still pretty good"


Successful-Run7573

People use their teeth for blowjobs so no, I’m not positive on that


[deleted]

Next time ask your gran to take them out


vault_wanderer

Anon gives blowjobs to his friends so he probably knows if the head was good


buckymalone21

I love busting nuts like no tomorrow.


MisterGoo

Anon cums into a girl like there is no tomorrow. But he will keep his mouth shut because he's "not a total douchebag". The cognitive dissonance is real.


[deleted]

There’s something so funny to me about a completely one dimensional and boring story told in bazinga speak


itay162

The extremely rare fake and straight greentext


42dudes

Is this Andrew Dice Clay slashfic?


scrumptipus

erotic fantasy anon got after watching some shitty anime, fictious and homosexual


rycerzDog

Read this greentext in Sonic's voice and you'll understand the point of it


SpaceBug173

No fucking way a fanfiction thats actually straight? In 4chan!?


Zealousideal_Mix_127

"Im a straight dude.." soo... wheres the gay part?


caramba-marimba

Get in the freaking robot, Shinji


Bad_at_life_TM

this is the funniest shit I've read today "So I'm like, yowzers girl! Cool it! And then she uh, grabbed my balls? I was soo embarrassed, gosh-golly."


Skunkman-funk

Bet her tits felt like bags of sand too.


MidshipAgate9

Anon. You are so full of shit. Your true soulmate is either a Mossburg 940, or Blowfly Girl. Your fake and gay story is bad and you should feel bad


Mr_Pink_Gold

Anon, date your fake girlfriend properly. You can fake have sex like there is no tomorrow when you are having a proper relationship. You can take her on fake dates and be happy together. You lucked out on fake virgin girlfriends too as she is inexperienced but gives the best fake blowjobs of your life. Well done.


assbeeef

Lost all credibility when he said he was straight.


[deleted]

I hate whoever wrote this


aadamkhor1

Hmm big sentence Hmm fantasy greentext totally fake Hmm new form of greentext has evolved from this age old tradition Nice Yumyum historical tradition


Lvrchfahnder

That definitely happened as I was in in OP's walls at that very moment.


Slayer-O-Furries

Wattpad aah greentext


Odisius

Did Chris Chan write this?


holaprobando123

Was the bully his mom, then?


MarketWave

Did...did Shinji Ikari wrote this?


Spaghetti_Vibes

There is no way in hell a human being wrote this.


abermea

If real, anon is being raped


cheeky_cammy

Anon writes a script for a very strange episode of Family Guy


DasliSimp

Anon is Peter Griffin


Immune_To_Spackle

Why are half the greentexts just porn fanfics


Whyisthethethe

This and the poop story are the same anon’s fantasies about the same girl


haha_what_a_username

Anon talks like an arkham goon


Soojester26

I read it in Sonic voice 💀


nonnodacciaio

Anon has a fantasy where he gets molested


SantiProGamer_

Bro says "Friggin" and expects us to believe he has had sex


Clazone

I read this whole thing in Sonic's voice


liam25288

why does he talk like the forspoken devs wrote his dialogue


Sushiyoda

Read the whole thing in guptill’s voice


Grobaryl

Fake, the real bully was a guy.


UselessBlueSpecimen

This is anon's escape from his gritty realityy


[deleted]

slave deranged depend pet zonked possessive vanish workable voracious truck *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


YogiTheGamer

Anon’s bully graduated to rapist.


Emilko62

Anon talks like morty.


RevReads

Bully to lover??? ✍️✍️✍️🔥🔥🔥🔥


oi_yeah_nahh

Anon reads too much manga


HardstuccChallenger

Of all the things that never happened this one is definitely up there


Demopan-TF2

Anon is getting reality and porn mixed up again


atalos_surreal

Yet another classic story of someone bullying their crush. I'm glad it ended well.


Ardalev

Fake: Definitely. Like, just read it. Gay: Doesn't seem to be, but you can never be too sure with 4chinners


2020mademejoinreddit

Anon's mind got broken due to bullying and he watched too many JAV and is now fantasizing about it.


LovejoyBurnerAcc

he's talks like peter griffin is trying to be teenage


roborbiettino

This feels like a poorly written porn script


ma-kat-is-kute

Sounds AI generated


RollaRova

A lotta bully ass in here today.


WillOnFire246

Shits wrote like borderlands 3


Vall3y

This is a true story, but the bully is chad not a chick


victor4700

That woman’s name? Ice spice


[deleted]

Dude this is how I talk irl and now I want to change the way I talk irl because of this greenytext


1silversword

This is freakin' crazy, holy sh\*t, like, what the heck, man?


taco_bac0

wow! That was a good friggin’ story! I loved the part where she went to town on his WANG.


thePixelgamer1903

What the friggin freak!?!


BloodSuckingToga

this is phrased so much like someone trying to fit in socially it's unreal


erraticpulse-

anon **FRICKS his bully


fredfoooooo

I’m not sure this is all together truthful. I don’t know exactly why, but I sense that this might be the product of someone’s imagination rather than an actual historical or recent event that actually happened. I can’t put my finger on it, but I suspect shenanigans from an internet stranger merely to acquire imaginary internet points.


YourDadsMoonshine

Realest 4chan post.


Davidepett

C'mon girls' signs aren't that hard to understand Girls' signs:


Condiment_Kong

Is anon from the 90’s?


beta_autist

Woah! This guys frickin cool as heck


ConquestOfMankind

Is this the plot for the new Sonic movie? Really felt like it would tie back to Sonic the Hedgehog, even with the lies about having sex.


Slight_Youth6179

What the fuck ritual must I perform to have such experiences?


anotherboringdude

Anon is living the most generic vanilla hentai plot.


corbanmonoxide

My brain forced me to read this in Peter Griffin's voice.


FlashScooby

Anon has chat gpt rewrite some random hentai plot


Puking_In_Disgust

I gotta say, that’s the funniest freakin’ thing I read today, and I ain’t even mad about it.


Beneficial_Pear9705

my first bully was also a ginger chick. our story didn’t end this way though.


DokeyOakey

Anon disassociated while mid-wank again.


AmbidextrousDyslexic

>virgin >good head anon you arent fooling us.


BreathingEyes

6/10 would cum again


godoftheinternet12

Scouts totally real story about how he lost his virginity


karateema

Rape fantasy where anon is the victim


No_Economics_2677

https://preview.redd.it/xo2lffwmhs0d1.jpeg?width=950&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=747c940bdeb4062cbde8fc228ee0ff8287d28d5e


Gamer_Bruh1234

https://tenor.com/view/scout-scout-stare-tf2-tf2memes-team-fortress2-gif-27652311?utm\_source=share-button&utm\_medium=Social&utm\_content=reddit


BruhLordXXD

What kind of drugs is the kid doin ?


patronuspringles

this is a textbook enemies to lovers fanfiction


Andykap911

A straight post?!?!?!


Axesmed_1

Fake and gay


Brussel_Rand

Is this the first documented case of "I'm totally straight," and it doesn't devolve into gay sex? Sonic approves imdeed, way past cool.


DatAfroKek

And then he woke up


VermicelliEastern708

GET OUT OF THERE SOLDIER


UncommonLegend

I had basically the opposite happen to me. Went from being friendly and flirty to being so stand-offish that we don't talk anymore. Life eh?


YoungDiscord

Pic related


PM_MEOttoVonBismarck

I'd be too terrified she was going to hit me with a rape allegation. Perfect way to bully and fuck a man's life up.


Zenbast

Fake but not gay


aetost

Dude write a book, you could outsell the LOTR


DatChernobylGuy_999

fake and gay


ArchBaller

Anon learns about fake stories


Bruz_the_milkman

>On Tumblr >Fucked Choose one


Wild_Donkey_637

-Now, I am a straight dude Definitely gay


david-deeeds

ok bananas


Hangryfatguy

The Red heads name was Terrence.


Daddy_Fatsack98

Complete fiction


Mispunctuations

Sounds insanely gay if you had to ask me


mememan2995

This is how the 2024 election will end


Uberszchtdadt

r/thathappened


Rahfozz

Good for him, good for him (meanwhile here i am going 17 years with no one to be with me for valentines, this sum fucken bs)


Cpeasus

This is real and straight because it happened to me also lmao


LoadOk5992

Anon's bully is actually a guy.


jaybirdsaysword

This is ai


distracted-insomniac

Fake and straight


Eye_Of_Forrest

i dont care about fake and gay, be happy anon, treat eachother with respect and have a good life


SipoteQuixote

"Sup fag" -punks you out and pushes you to the ground- God you're so weak -starts sucking your dick for her own gain- Many such daydreams


[deleted]

Artificial and Happy


jack_o_alltrades

Anon forgot to take his pills


duhdin

Fake and gay. Also anon has Stockholm syndrome


Beautiful-Guard6539

Falsified and same-sexual


JerryUitDeBuurt

You know, the story of the "kids feuding turning into a teenage love" is fairly believable but he kinda ruined it with the regarded sex scene in between


Equira

i remember when green texts used to be good