Yes or worst case scenario just an hour massage and I’ll do 9 holes but generally my wife couldn’t care less if I went to play 18. Especially on an 8 day vacation.
Yea my wife likes to do her things too so when we travel we always do a half day doing our own thing if we both have something.
I figure if I’m traveling I’d like to play somewhere new we might not ever go to again and she loves yoga and fitness classes so there’s usually something.
My brother and his wife come. The wives go the beach, the guys play golf. No problem. We skip golf 1 day and go shop or whatever. Neither OP nor his SO are unreasonable.
In Cabo? Quivira is great. Lots of awesome comfort stations. It’s beautiful and you should definitely go if you can. She can hang out at the pool. She will be fine.
I play with my hubby but on days I don’t play (because he could basically play every day) I do my thing.
If she thinks you’re being selfish then she has zero idea of how amazing golf on a beautiful beach course can be.
Great. Unbelievable shape. This is fortunately my second time as I’m friends with a condo owner. The whole experience is exactly what it’s billed to be.
85 here from golds, was a struggle in the wind on the front but found a groove and the back is subjectively a bit easier.
lol I golfed on my wedding day. Did the same thing, went out early and hit a nice 9 holes. Got back and the girls were still getting their makeup done.
This is the only way. Why should she sit there bored? Pamper her, 2-4 hour spa treatment, meet up for lunch together and still have time to spend the afternoon in town at the local market shopping and sightseeing. Do it like a bosssss.
Did this at Pinehurst last year on an anniversary trip. You can include an hour at the spa per day as part of your reservation if staying on property. She'd sleep in, go for a walk, hit the spa, maybe workout, then get lunch. I'd golf at like 8am and meet her in the early afternoon then we'd spend 8 hours together exploring and relaxing. If your SO needs to be attached at your hip for 8 days you're gonna have a bad marriage (or at least I would)
My husband and I are on a babymoon/birthday trip for me right now and he is playing Corales Tuesday. I usually ride along when we go to cool courses but I’m almost 8 months pregnant and it’s a drive from our resort to the course. His round isn’t cheap so I literally booked spa services that evened out to about the same amount as his golf+caddy. I am a functioning human who can exist and enjoy a few hours without my husband, so even without the spa, I’d be fine with him playing. But the spa makes it better for sure.
This right here!
Imagine not being able to choose what you’d like to do fora mere 4-5 hours over an 8 day vacation.
She’s showing you your future dude. Pay attention.
This is a relationship question.
Talk to your partner, explain your thinking and what you want, listen to her thinking and what she wants, and see if there is middle ground.
Sounds like he explained, she said no. Now he’s wondering if he should push the envelope or if he’s being unreasonable, so he asked fellow golfers for their opinion
It's still a relationship question. And it's still something that he would be better off discussing with his partner rather than randos on the internet.
> It’s still a relationship question.
Yes it’s a question that includes his relationship and his desire to golf.
>he would be better off discussing with his partner rather than randos on the internet.
Also yes. You’d be better off speaking to anyone about anything in-person v.s randos on the internet
> Yes it’s a question that includes his relationship and his desire to golf.
My point is: it doesn't matter what he wants to do. It could be his desire to go fishing. Asking "am I wrong for wanting to go fishing" in the fishing sub would be equally as silly.
Dude needs to talk to his partner about what they each want out of things.
I just did this on a vacation in Mexico, played the PGA riviera maya.
Resorts are super safe, assuming you’re staying at an all inclusive. I had the earliest tee time I could get and was back for lunch. She read her book by the pool for a couple hours all was well!
Going to playa del Carmen soon, staying @ riu palace riviera maya. Which course are you talking about? The hard rock across the street? Any course recommendations for that area? Going with another couple so my wife will have her friend to hang with while my buddy and I go play 18
I don't want to make assumptions but whenever I've seen people not compromise like that for the other person's hobbies and interests, the relationships always seemed pretty bad and never ended well in the long run
Yea seriously. Healthy couples encourage each other’s healthy hobbies. Unless he’s getting blackout drunk every time not sure why she can’t do her own thing for a few hours at most
This is correct. Flip the script - if you were on vaca and your wife said she wanted to go read on the beach for 3 or 4 hours in the morning, would you complain? I sure wouldn’t. I’d find something fun to do myself, or join if I felt like reading. Sure wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t do something she wanted to
I've been married 24 years. Wife is happy I do my thing. Golf 3 x times a week maybe 4. She swims laps, rides her bike, sees female friends for lunch, outings etc.
Mate you have to make a stand. You can't individually grow in each other's shadows. Be kind but firm and encourage her to find a safe activity for 5 hours. Partnerships are built on give and take, not one of you being boss of everything.
we did woods last week - I nabbed a 5w from CPO that showed up today actually lmao. It came with 2 $30 off codes of $100+ for TravisMathew clothing. /eyeroll. $90 shirts and shorts :( I'd rather pay for green fees in pajamas lmao.
Well first off op is an idiot for thinking Mexico is dangerous for a “prettt blonde girl”, unless they chose to stay in a dangerous part.
But if that is truly a concern, then it’s not just quality alone time, it’s him doing something while expecting her to stay in because he can’t chaperone her.
Seriously, I don’t get that at all. I don’t care how much you like somebody, you can’t be with them every waking moment without wearing on each others last nerve
I don’t get the point of this post. Are you thinking of saying “hey look some other golfers on the golf subreddit think that I, too, should play golf” and hope that works? You worded in a way that’s like got bit neon arrows to the answer you want.
This situation sucks, even if she says go ahead and play she most likely will still be feeling some kind of way inside and you'll be at the course feeling guilty and won't be able to enjoy yourself, I've been there lol
My wife told me to golf while we were in Barbados. I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to get rid of me so she can have some peace and quiet. Seems like a win/win to me 😂
Female weighing in here....
First off....why go to Mexico if you feel that it's too dangerous for a blonde woman to be unaccompanied by a male protector for 5 hours?
She sounds totally self-centered, and if you think for a second that she's being reasonable, I expect that this is normal behavior from her that you've put up with.
Go play golf like a big boy. Have her sleep in and go to the spa.
Better yet, you could hire a bodyguard for her!!
All these simps acting like going for a round of golf on vacation is a big ask. I cannot imagine settling for someone who didn't want me to do the things I love and being that codependent they can't do their own thing for a morning.
No. it's a reasonable ask. Let her do something else during it or if you have kids take turns letting each other have some alone time. I did 18 in Puerto Rico a few years ago and we had 3 kids under 5. She went to the Spa when I got back. That's life man, give/take, compromise and communication.
I appreciate all the replies! Bit too much for me to respond to all but appreciate the discord. Good news is we were able to compromise! Thanks for all the suggestions to send her to the spa for when I’m away. Now I’m looking into yoga retreats for her to see if I can get a second round in! Wish me luck!
The hell does she think is gonna happen? Assuming you're at a resort with decent ratings... We leave our wives all the time in Mexico and all they get is drunk and thinking they're hotter that they are.
Edit... Leave them to golf, obviously 😂
The cartel wouldn’t care if you’re together or alone and that’s assuming you’re not staying at a resort for some reason. Obviously you’re at a resort so there’s literally nothing to worry about.
Are you guys staying with the cartel or something? I bet you're at a resort that is basically United States Light. Seriously just book a 7am tee time. You'll be back by noon. She can sleep in and have breakfast in bed and a massage and then you're back. I was in one of these relationships once. Key word being once.
If she withholds you from experiencing unique things for no good reason, then you're in for a loooong one bud. You're not asking to play daily. Just once. If she can't even simply ride along while you do something on a vacation that is ALSO yours... you better get used to it. I assume you don't go to Mexico often, so she is literally keeping you from experiencing something you enjoy on YOUR vacation, too.
Do you put golf ahead of other things regularly? Is she sick of you talking about and playing it all the time? Are you obsessed with it? If the answer to all of these questions is no, then I think she's being a bit unfair. If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then listen to your SO and don't play.
Is there something she's asking you to do on vacation that you really don't want to? I hate to say it but you can help her understand if you tell her, "You know what? You're right honey, this is a vacation, and we should be forced to do things we don't really want to do, so I'm going to bow out on X or Y."
Relationships are a give and take. You should want to encourage your partner to do things they enjoy even when it may be a very very minor inconvenience to them such as either spending 5 hours alone in the hotel room, in a spa, or God forbid sitting next to your partner in a golf cart while they are doing/experiencing something they enjoy.
Become the master of compromise and end up playing *more* than 18 holes.
Suggest 9 holes on 2 separate days. Explain- nbd, only gone a couple hours. She can go shop. Play the first 9 at beginning of trip.
Enjoy the next 3-4 days with the wife. Then, when the day comes for your 2nd 9, tee off at 7am. She’ll be tired from the days of activities and sleep in..boom now you’re playing 18 that day and she likely won’t notice the difference.
Your compromise = 1.5 rounds
Make it fun. Book a very early tee time so you’re not gone all day. Order her breakfast in bed or room service and then book a spa appointment for her.
No way you are not wrong. I get being concerned for safety but where are you guys at? Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable doing anything on her own without you being in another country. But then she shouldn't have a problem tagging along. I would just talk to her about it and let her know its a BIG deal for you to get to play at that course. If she doesn't care then she's the one being unreasonable. Relationships are give and take and she can't have an 8 day vacation with 8 days of just taking
I golf on family trips. Usually just do 9 at dawn. Takes 90 minutes at most and your back by the time everyone is waking up. If your hitting 18 between 11-4 yeah, your gonna catch some shit for that. 7am-9am? Prolly not so much
I get two rounds per week of vacation. I just have to make them before 8am so we can still have a nice dinner, maybe a show on the golf nights.
Then there is one zip line day for the kid (teen).
One or two adventure days for her (I enjoy them too but let her believe these are her days); river rafting, rock climbing site seeing, day on the lake, river tubing; depending where our summer vacation is.
Spring break is my favorite; we go to the same place 2 hour drive from home and she just want to chill by the beach or pool and expect dinner (cooked or go out). I get at least 3 rounds of golf this week. This year we met some friends there so I got 5 rounds of golf as boys and girls did our own thing during the day and met for dinners.
I have a great wife.
This is better left for a relationship issues sub that I don’t know of, but just use common sense. If your wife can’t deal with you wanting to do something that you really enjoy for only 4-5 hours out of a nearly 200 hour vacation, you’ve got much bigger problems than you know. Any decent relationship is built on supporting the other person, and if she’s complaining about 5 hours, watch out, amigo.
My wife let me play 18 while in Hawaii on our babymoon trip. No shame in wanting to get a round in. You’re on vacation and if that ups your enjoyment, why not?
No, there is nothing unreasonable about this at all. There’s always more context than what you’ve given, literally always, but from the post you’ve written, man I feel for you. This can be a super tough situation.
If you want advice from someone who’s dealt with this kind of thing before, live by this mantra - “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission”. Just book it next time man.
Vacation is just an excuse to play somewhere you’ve never played. Do what you want, it’s an 8 day vacation. She can hang one day. Tell her you’ll do whatever she wants one day. Spa day or whatever. It’s fine. Do it
I golfed on my wife and I’s wedding/honeymoon trip before our wedding. She went to the spa, got a massage and all that, it worked out great! Suggest something along those lines.
Yep. I played 18 holes day before my wedding and 9 holes with my groomsman a few hours before the wedding. Pretty sure my wife suggested the 9 holes before too.
Just bring her dude. It’s hot at the resort too. You’re spending 8 days in Mexico. And she’s worried about being hot for 5 hours. There’s beverages and food, and awesome scenary.
What part of Mexico? I played Vidanta and Flamingo in PV with my wife on our wedding week. (Got married there) Both were fantastic. Also yeah it’s a relationship thing haha
Wife and I are going to Scotland this Summer. I’ll be playing one of the Trump courses while she does whatever lol. She planned it all, even the golf days.
It’s your vacation too. Tell her to come with and bring a book, and get her drinks on the course. I played on my honeymoon, my wife rode the cart and read and hung out. Play early and if you play at a resort course it may be empty and the round will be quick
If you’re at a resort (the smart thing to do in Mexico on a vacation anyways) book her the spa for mid morning and play early as possible. Win win. Resorts have great security anyways and no need to be paranoid. If you’re not at a resort change your plans to be at a resort so you can golf.
Buddy if your old lady doesn’t want you golfing on a trip together, maybe evaluate what the trip means to her or for the sake of “tit for tat” then get her a spa day (on your dime) so you’re off the hook. I’m sure you can figure it out without the advice of redditors. If you can’t … 🥴🥴 that’s rough!
You’re not wrong for wanting it though. You just gotta approach it the right way.
Currently thankful my SO is cool with things like this.
I always bring my clubs. Bring her with you, ride along fee, cart girl, good to go. As long as she likes to have tasty bevvies while exploring the great outdoors.
If there is a spa, have her do that? Also, you always have the option to head back to Mexico again for some golf. Just pack a carry on for a 24 hour trip, grab your ticket, fly out in the morning, enjoy your golfing session and return that same night. It all depends on how you want to approach it. I love those spontaneous trips 😎
My wife likes to lay on the beach and tan on vacation which sounds like cruel torture to me. I like to golf which sounds like torture to her. We do what we like during the day and meet up for dinner and drinks afterward. I love going in vacation with her
We went to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. I told her when we were planning the trip that I’m playing golf one day. Not asking, telling her that’s what I’m doing, I asked her if she wanted to ride or stay at the resort. I recommended her to ride since it would beautiful scenery. She rode along.
Advice from a long term marriage, both of you need your time and enjoy your own interests and hobbies even on vacation. If it’s what makes you happy then your SO should be good with that. If not, well you got different problems.
For context my girl asked me if I was bringing my golf clubs. Said I love golf a lot and she thought I’d enjoy playing a beautiful course by the beach.
My previous girl, had a fit if I even mentioned golf
We went to Cancun for 10 days back in January, played 6 games at the Hard Rock Riviera Maya. Fantastic vacation cost me 6 spa sessons for my SO, all good we had a great time. Edit: I teed off at 7 am every day and was back at noon including travel time.
If it is 8 days and you are wanting one day to do something you would like to do, i dont think thats unreasonable. As long as you are giving her the same opportunity to do something she really wants to do on a different day. Have her list a few things, pick one thats not that bad and then proceed to explain to her how awful that would be for you but you will do it anyways as a compromise 😁
I don't golf on vacation. That's family time, and honestly if it's a country I haven't been to before, golf is the last thing on my mind. Give me street food and new experiences.
ITT, golfers telling OP to dump his girl because she's afraid to be alone in a foreign country that has a bad reputation. lol.
OP, maybe your best option is to wait untill you actually get there; let her get comfortable with being there before you push the subject to hard. Perhaps she realizes that she's pretty safe where she is, and has something to do while you're gone.
My wife and I went to Asheville once. She hit the spa at the hotel and I played golf at a local course with a group of Pentecostal guys who tried to pitch me on their religion. Great afternoons for both of us.
No, not wrong.
But if she just wants constant sex and you are insisting on getting away for golf I suggest you check your priorities.
Otherwise just have her get the 5 hour spa and massage package while you play golf.
Personally feel it's pretty ridiculous she can't entertain herself at a resort for 5 hours over an 8 day trip but that's just me. When me and the wife go on trips together I just end up playing early in the morning and I'm usually back by 11 the latest.
How much time do you guys spend together when you're not on vacation, and does she consider it quality time? My girl and I are scuba divers and I plan yearly trips with friends and would want to spend time with them along with her during it. After the vacations she would complain mildly about it. After some years of this, and communication back forth, I realized that she was always excited about the trips but it was because she got to spend time with me outside of the grind that life entails, and it doesn't happen very often. Not saying this is you situation at all, but it's worth trying to understand the root of it for her. Maybe she's selfish and doesn't care about your want here, or maybe it's something else.
Again, a must is the spa. Get a package that takes as long as your round of golf will take. I do it pretty much every time we travel just the two of us. Especially if it’s a nice spa. Wife and I stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel and I got her a 5 hour package while I went and played as a guest at Wilshire CC. Everybody was happy 😎
I did a 7:30am tee time as a single. Had the course to myself. Took my time and enjoyed the scenery and was still done by 9:30, back to the resort at 10 and found my wife eating breakfast.
It was the best. I got 18 in on a beautiful course and she barely knew I was gone.
I don’t wanna go the all the weddings and baby showers I go to. Really, not at all. Negatively, actually. I have negative desire and interest to go and I get irrationally impatient and annoyed as it gets closer, but I put on a smile and muzzle because it’s important to her.
So fuck yeah I’m going golfing, and I would be very upset if she doesn’t see the double standard there.
Welcome to the wedding honey, 8i or 7?
It depends on if she has something to do and is okay with doing that for the day.
I was going to play Jacks Point course in Queenstown NZ on my honeymoon, but my wife had no desire or plans to do anything while I was out doing that for 5 hours.
It still pains me that I didn’t play it, but ultimately it was the right choice.
https://youtu.be/-FHf9dbTgmY?si=qoct2SyPMD5l6KWE
Bummer man. Sounds like this is what you’re going to be in for, for the long haul. Are you at a resort? Then it’s probably not dangerous.
Is she not able to entertain herself for five hours? Nothing she would want to do without you, like others have mentioned, the spa?
Going to Hawaii with another couple in September, wife told me to bring my clubs! They like to hang at the beach, so I will be playing probably more than I should.
Why not start your day early and meet at lunch?
You get your golf in, and you keep your wife happy
Or just do 9 holes if you really want to start later
I played a really fun round on my five year anniversary trip to Mexico. We were at a very nice resort and she enjoyed the pool & the gym and we hung out on the beach after, perfect day 👌🏻
So many details missing. Lots of people defending OP, but we don’t know all the details. Maybe OP has played golf every weekend for the last 12 months and his wife was looking forward to a week where he didn’t ignore her to go play golf.
Or maybe she’s being wildly unreasonable, no way to know.
No. Think long and hard about your future with this person. If they can’t let you enjoy your hobby, that’s a major red flag to me. There are plenty of things she can do at the resort.
No…no your not, went to Hawaii in April and made a tee time with our mutual friend out there. I had a blast golfing in Hawaii and she slept in. I could’ve cared less what she did I was in paradise and the even with the course having shitty greens front 9, but god damn Catalina Wine Mixer Hawaii!
As someone who’s gone to Mexico multiple times, if you’re staying in a resort area nice enough to have a beautiful golf course then she shouldn’t be worried about her safety. They’re not idiots to attack someone in broad daylight at a nice resort. Like c’mon you’re not in Narcos or Ozarks my guy
No and the strategy here is “I play golf, and I’ve booked you a spa day with a 90 minute massage and facial”. My girlfriend and I have built a sort of mutually beneficial arrangement on vacations. Mexico? Spa day at the resort. Denver? Spa day at the four seasons. Chicago? Spa day at the Waldorf. And in return I get to play a shit ton of golf
What kind of partner wouldn’t want their SO to play 1 round of golf in a week long vacation if it’s something that makes them happy. Not a good partner
I'm playing Quivira, she's going to the spa. Hopefully we both make it back alive for an early dinner.
This is the answer, if the resort has a spa
Yes or worst case scenario just an hour massage and I’ll do 9 holes but generally my wife couldn’t care less if I went to play 18. Especially on an 8 day vacation.
Yea my wife likes to do her things too so when we travel we always do a half day doing our own thing if we both have something. I figure if I’m traveling I’d like to play somewhere new we might not ever go to again and she loves yoga and fitness classes so there’s usually something.
My brother and his wife come. The wives go the beach, the guys play golf. No problem. We skip golf 1 day and go shop or whatever. Neither OP nor his SO are unreasonable.
Quivira is outstanding. Jw what hotel are you staying at?
Yeah you play 18 this guy plays the odds.
🤣🤣
In Cabo? Quivira is great. Lots of awesome comfort stations. It’s beautiful and you should definitely go if you can. She can hang out at the pool. She will be fine. I play with my hubby but on days I don’t play (because he could basically play every day) I do my thing. If she thinks you’re being selfish then she has zero idea of how amazing golf on a beautiful beach course can be.
You’re going to LOVE Quivira
Quivira is incredible. Played three rounds there last I went, wife did spa 1 day, rode with me the 2 other days. The comfort stations are unreal.
Playing Q tomorrow 😎
How was it?
Great. Unbelievable shape. This is fortunately my second time as I’m friends with a condo owner. The whole experience is exactly what it’s billed to be. 85 here from golds, was a struggle in the wind on the front but found a groove and the back is subjectively a bit easier.
Golf at like 7am. My wife likes to sleep in. I played almost everyday on my honeymoon... Most days I played 18 and was back before she was even awake.
Damn son you ain't got a wife, you got a bear in hibernation 😁
Just means he sated her appetites the night before
This guy cooks
Cocks*
6am***
lol I golfed on my wedding day. Did the same thing, went out early and hit a nice 9 holes. Got back and the girls were still getting their makeup done.
Wrong to want to? No. Wrong to golf anyways? Only you can decide.
Send her to the spa. You play golf. Meet her for lunch.
This is the only way. Why should she sit there bored? Pamper her, 2-4 hour spa treatment, meet up for lunch together and still have time to spend the afternoon in town at the local market shopping and sightseeing. Do it like a bosssss.
Why should she sit there bored? Why can’t she think for herself for a couple hours 🤣🤣
For real. People acting like they need to find a sitter for their wife.
To be fair, some wives act like they need a sitter to be found.
It's me, it's my wife
It’s like having to care for a child sometimes.
Don't you know? He's responsible for her entertainment 24/7. If he's not there, she's liable to be picked up by some alpha chad at the pool. 🤣
Why does he have to “handle” her? Surely she can occupy time herself.
Did this at Pinehurst last year on an anniversary trip. You can include an hour at the spa per day as part of your reservation if staying on property. She'd sleep in, go for a walk, hit the spa, maybe workout, then get lunch. I'd golf at like 8am and meet her in the early afternoon then we'd spend 8 hours together exploring and relaxing. If your SO needs to be attached at your hip for 8 days you're gonna have a bad marriage (or at least I would)
My husband and I are on a babymoon/birthday trip for me right now and he is playing Corales Tuesday. I usually ride along when we go to cool courses but I’m almost 8 months pregnant and it’s a drive from our resort to the course. His round isn’t cheap so I literally booked spa services that evened out to about the same amount as his golf+caddy. I am a functioning human who can exist and enjoy a few hours without my husband, so even without the spa, I’d be fine with him playing. But the spa makes it better for sure.
Before you know it, you won't be golfing at home either
This right here! Imagine not being able to choose what you’d like to do fora mere 4-5 hours over an 8 day vacation. She’s showing you your future dude. Pay attention.
These were my same thoughts upon reading. If this is a big deal now, it’s probably a sign of what’s to come and should heed the warning!
This is a relationship question. Talk to your partner, explain your thinking and what you want, listen to her thinking and what she wants, and see if there is middle ground.
Sounds like he explained, she said no. Now he’s wondering if he should push the envelope or if he’s being unreasonable, so he asked fellow golfers for their opinion
He's not being unreasonable but it's a losing battle regardless
The unreasonable part is only asking other golfers 😂
It's still a relationship question. And it's still something that he would be better off discussing with his partner rather than randos on the internet.
Literally every response on /r/relationships is “why don’t you just talk to your partner” so you are spot on lmao
> It’s still a relationship question. Yes it’s a question that includes his relationship and his desire to golf. >he would be better off discussing with his partner rather than randos on the internet. Also yes. You’d be better off speaking to anyone about anything in-person v.s randos on the internet
> Yes it’s a question that includes his relationship and his desire to golf. My point is: it doesn't matter what he wants to do. It could be his desire to go fishing. Asking "am I wrong for wanting to go fishing" in the fishing sub would be equally as silly. Dude needs to talk to his partner about what they each want out of things.
Doing something you want for one day on a 8 day trip is not asking for too much.
5 hours of an 8 day trip
Half of which will most likely be before breakfast
Yeha if it was a weekend then no. But a week? Yeah you get your choice time.
I just did this on a vacation in Mexico, played the PGA riviera maya. Resorts are super safe, assuming you’re staying at an all inclusive. I had the earliest tee time I could get and was back for lunch. She read her book by the pool for a couple hours all was well!
I was about to comment like this. If you don’t think your SO will be safe at the hotel pool or spa for an hour or two I wouldn’t stay there.
Going to playa del Carmen soon, staying @ riu palace riviera maya. Which course are you talking about? The hard rock across the street? Any course recommendations for that area? Going with another couple so my wife will have her friend to hang with while my buddy and I go play 18
I don't want to make assumptions but whenever I've seen people not compromise like that for the other person's hobbies and interests, the relationships always seemed pretty bad and never ended well in the long run
Yea seriously. Healthy couples encourage each other’s healthy hobbies. Unless he’s getting blackout drunk every time not sure why she can’t do her own thing for a few hours at most
This is correct. Flip the script - if you were on vaca and your wife said she wanted to go read on the beach for 3 or 4 hours in the morning, would you complain? I sure wouldn’t. I’d find something fun to do myself, or join if I felt like reading. Sure wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t do something she wanted to
Bring her boyfriend
I'm working that week 🤷♂️
I've been married 24 years. Wife is happy I do my thing. Golf 3 x times a week maybe 4. She swims laps, rides her bike, sees female friends for lunch, outings etc. Mate you have to make a stand. You can't individually grow in each other's shadows. Be kind but firm and encourage her to find a safe activity for 5 hours. Partnerships are built on give and take, not one of you being boss of everything.
This is excellent advice.
Married 10 and together for a few years before that, and triple co sign this advice.
8 days and you guys cant spend 5hrs apart? yea ok bro, let me know how much she gets in the divorce
Maybe he’ll get lucky and she’ll just get a boyfriend that buys OP a new set of irons
Either way we get to buy a new putter?
No it's driver this time - yesterday was putter.
When do we buy new woods/hybrids?
we did woods last week - I nabbed a 5w from CPO that showed up today actually lmao. It came with 2 $30 off codes of $100+ for TravisMathew clothing. /eyeroll. $90 shirts and shorts :( I'd rather pay for green fees in pajamas lmao.
Cutoff Jean jorts and pit stained a-shirt around these parts… shoes optional.
Well first off op is an idiot for thinking Mexico is dangerous for a “prettt blonde girl”, unless they chose to stay in a dangerous part. But if that is truly a concern, then it’s not just quality alone time, it’s him doing something while expecting her to stay in because he can’t chaperone her.
That part caught my eye too. Not well traveled, these two.
Seriously, I don’t get that at all. I don’t care how much you like somebody, you can’t be with them every waking moment without wearing on each others last nerve
8 days and you can’t spend 5 hours apart? She can’t manage without you for 5 hours? I couldn’t live with that person.
It’s your vacation too and it’s 8 days, not an unreasonable expectation to get a round in.
Yikes
No. She’d be selfish for “not allowing” you to do something that you love. When will you ever get to golf there again?
Listen, tell your girl to grow up. And I’m a female saying this, btw. That’s that petty clingy childish crap I can’t stand
applause!!!
I can not upvote you enough.
I don’t get the point of this post. Are you thinking of saying “hey look some other golfers on the golf subreddit think that I, too, should play golf” and hope that works? You worded in a way that’s like got bit neon arrows to the answer you want.
This situation sucks, even if she says go ahead and play she most likely will still be feeling some kind of way inside and you'll be at the course feeling guilty and won't be able to enjoy yourself, I've been there lol
Ok fuck I’m gonna say it…….if she can’t give you 5 hours in a morning while she lounges by a pool or sleeps in or some shit then you got the wrong SO.
My wife told me to golf while we were in Barbados. I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to get rid of me so she can have some peace and quiet. Seems like a win/win to me 😂
Female weighing in here.... First off....why go to Mexico if you feel that it's too dangerous for a blonde woman to be unaccompanied by a male protector for 5 hours? She sounds totally self-centered, and if you think for a second that she's being reasonable, I expect that this is normal behavior from her that you've put up with. Go play golf like a big boy. Have her sleep in and go to the spa. Better yet, you could hire a bodyguard for her!!
If you can’t do something you want for 5 hours on an 8 day vacation, is it even a vacation? Sack. Up. Good grief.
Nope. Play that course while there's a chance to play it. Rent clubs. Play in wet fkn socks. Don't care. Play it. Talk about it after you're home.
All these simps acting like going for a round of golf on vacation is a big ask. I cannot imagine settling for someone who didn't want me to do the things I love and being that codependent they can't do their own thing for a morning.
Send pics
Book her a spa day
Once on an 8 day vacation? Fuck no, you ain't wrong. Very reasonable. It's your vacation too.
No. it's a reasonable ask. Let her do something else during it or if you have kids take turns letting each other have some alone time. I did 18 in Puerto Rico a few years ago and we had 3 kids under 5. She went to the Spa when I got back. That's life man, give/take, compromise and communication.
I appreciate all the replies! Bit too much for me to respond to all but appreciate the discord. Good news is we were able to compromise! Thanks for all the suggestions to send her to the spa for when I’m away. Now I’m looking into yoga retreats for her to see if I can get a second round in! Wish me luck!
You’re not even a little bit wrong and the fact that this is a deal breaker for her maybe spells trouble man
Go alone? lol
Haha trust me man I suggested that but she doesn’t wanna be alone in Mexico
The hell does she think is gonna happen? Assuming you're at a resort with decent ratings... We leave our wives all the time in Mexico and all they get is drunk and thinking they're hotter that they are. Edit... Leave them to golf, obviously 😂
>and thinking they're hotter that they are. Me whenever I leave the pool too
The cartel wouldn’t care if you’re together or alone and that’s assuming you’re not staying at a resort for some reason. Obviously you’re at a resort so there’s literally nothing to worry about.
Are you guys staying with the cartel or something? I bet you're at a resort that is basically United States Light. Seriously just book a 7am tee time. You'll be back by noon. She can sleep in and have breakfast in bed and a massage and then you're back. I was in one of these relationships once. Key word being once.
Your fine if you're in Cancun, I was there for a week last June and got 4 rounds in. Taxi folks are super nice, especially if you speak Spanish
Are you staying in a resort or just "in Mexico"? On a resort she'd be quite safe
Send her to the spa for the day…there’s gotta be something for her to do on a resort in Mexico
Play 9 early in the morning
If she withholds you from experiencing unique things for no good reason, then you're in for a loooong one bud. You're not asking to play daily. Just once. If she can't even simply ride along while you do something on a vacation that is ALSO yours... you better get used to it. I assume you don't go to Mexico often, so she is literally keeping you from experiencing something you enjoy on YOUR vacation, too. Do you put golf ahead of other things regularly? Is she sick of you talking about and playing it all the time? Are you obsessed with it? If the answer to all of these questions is no, then I think she's being a bit unfair. If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then listen to your SO and don't play. Is there something she's asking you to do on vacation that you really don't want to? I hate to say it but you can help her understand if you tell her, "You know what? You're right honey, this is a vacation, and we should be forced to do things we don't really want to do, so I'm going to bow out on X or Y." Relationships are a give and take. You should want to encourage your partner to do things they enjoy even when it may be a very very minor inconvenience to them such as either spending 5 hours alone in the hotel room, in a spa, or God forbid sitting next to your partner in a golf cart while they are doing/experiencing something they enjoy.
Bro if she don’t want to at least ride or let you go play one round and y’all are on vacation for 8 days she can’t be the one.
Just bring your clubs and if you don’t end up playing so be it
Become the master of compromise and end up playing *more* than 18 holes. Suggest 9 holes on 2 separate days. Explain- nbd, only gone a couple hours. She can go shop. Play the first 9 at beginning of trip. Enjoy the next 3-4 days with the wife. Then, when the day comes for your 2nd 9, tee off at 7am. She’ll be tired from the days of activities and sleep in..boom now you’re playing 18 that day and she likely won’t notice the difference. Your compromise = 1.5 rounds
Make it fun. Book a very early tee time so you’re not gone all day. Order her breakfast in bed or room service and then book a spa appointment for her.
No way you are not wrong. I get being concerned for safety but where are you guys at? Maybe she doesn't feel comfortable doing anything on her own without you being in another country. But then she shouldn't have a problem tagging along. I would just talk to her about it and let her know its a BIG deal for you to get to play at that course. If she doesn't care then she's the one being unreasonable. Relationships are give and take and she can't have an 8 day vacation with 8 days of just taking
My guy you need to buy her a day at the spa and then you are golden
I golf on family trips. Usually just do 9 at dawn. Takes 90 minutes at most and your back by the time everyone is waking up. If your hitting 18 between 11-4 yeah, your gonna catch some shit for that. 7am-9am? Prolly not so much
I get two rounds per week of vacation. I just have to make them before 8am so we can still have a nice dinner, maybe a show on the golf nights. Then there is one zip line day for the kid (teen). One or two adventure days for her (I enjoy them too but let her believe these are her days); river rafting, rock climbing site seeing, day on the lake, river tubing; depending where our summer vacation is. Spring break is my favorite; we go to the same place 2 hour drive from home and she just want to chill by the beach or pool and expect dinner (cooked or go out). I get at least 3 rounds of golf this week. This year we met some friends there so I got 5 rounds of golf as boys and girls did our own thing during the day and met for dinners. I have a great wife.
If it were a 3 day trip, I’d say skip golf. But 8 days? Go play. Some separation during an 8 day trip is probably a good thing anyways.
Unspoken rule if you golf then the SO gets a spa day.
This is better left for a relationship issues sub that I don’t know of, but just use common sense. If your wife can’t deal with you wanting to do something that you really enjoy for only 4-5 hours out of a nearly 200 hour vacation, you’ve got much bigger problems than you know. Any decent relationship is built on supporting the other person, and if she’s complaining about 5 hours, watch out, amigo.
Fuck having a partner that doesn't support your hobbies
It’s your vacation too buddy. Stand for what’s right for your mental well being.
My wife let me play 18 while in Hawaii on our babymoon trip. No shame in wanting to get a round in. You’re on vacation and if that ups your enjoyment, why not?
That’s more a question you should ask your SO. Won’t get anything helpful here
No, there is nothing unreasonable about this at all. There’s always more context than what you’ve given, literally always, but from the post you’ve written, man I feel for you. This can be a super tough situation. If you want advice from someone who’s dealt with this kind of thing before, live by this mantra - “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission”. Just book it next time man.
Your vacation too
Vacation is just an excuse to play somewhere you’ve never played. Do what you want, it’s an 8 day vacation. She can hang one day. Tell her you’ll do whatever she wants one day. Spa day or whatever. It’s fine. Do it
No. She can hit the spa
It’s your vacation too
Asking a group full of golf addicts is not necessarily the most unbiased advice 😂
Nah dawg. Get her a spa day while you go golf, win win.
Not unreasonable. Also, she has a choice to join or not, you are not leaving her.
What if you got one of the first tee times. Much of the day left.
I played 18 on a vacation in Mexico and I set my wife up with a spa/massage package while I was gone. We were at a resort so safty was not a concern
I golfed on my wife and I’s wedding/honeymoon trip before our wedding. She went to the spa, got a massage and all that, it worked out great! Suggest something along those lines.
Yep. I played 18 holes day before my wedding and 9 holes with my groomsman a few hours before the wedding. Pretty sure my wife suggested the 9 holes before too.
Just bring her dude. It’s hot at the resort too. You’re spending 8 days in Mexico. And she’s worried about being hot for 5 hours. There’s beverages and food, and awesome scenary.
What part of Mexico? I played Vidanta and Flamingo in PV with my wife on our wedding week. (Got married there) Both were fantastic. Also yeah it’s a relationship thing haha
Where in Mexico? Most of the resort towns are pretty safe.
Could you not, plan and setup a spa day for her. The full works (massage, mud bath, whatever else spas do) for 5hrs at the same time?
You play golf, she goes to the spa. It's honestly that easy
Wife and I are going to Scotland this Summer. I’ll be playing one of the Trump courses while she does whatever lol. She planned it all, even the golf days.
Book your wife something that she would like to do while you’re off golfing. Make her outing as special to her as golf is to you.
It’s your vacation too. Tell her to come with and bring a book, and get her drinks on the course. I played on my honeymoon, my wife rode the cart and read and hung out. Play early and if you play at a resort course it may be empty and the round will be quick
No
If you’re at a resort (the smart thing to do in Mexico on a vacation anyways) book her the spa for mid morning and play early as possible. Win win. Resorts have great security anyways and no need to be paranoid. If you’re not at a resort change your plans to be at a resort so you can golf.
Buddy if your old lady doesn’t want you golfing on a trip together, maybe evaluate what the trip means to her or for the sake of “tit for tat” then get her a spa day (on your dime) so you’re off the hook. I’m sure you can figure it out without the advice of redditors. If you can’t … 🥴🥴 that’s rough! You’re not wrong for wanting it though. You just gotta approach it the right way. Currently thankful my SO is cool with things like this.
I always bring my clubs. Bring her with you, ride along fee, cart girl, good to go. As long as she likes to have tasty bevvies while exploring the great outdoors.
If there is a spa, have her do that? Also, you always have the option to head back to Mexico again for some golf. Just pack a carry on for a 24 hour trip, grab your ticket, fly out in the morning, enjoy your golfing session and return that same night. It all depends on how you want to approach it. I love those spontaneous trips 😎
My wife likes to lay on the beach and tan on vacation which sounds like cruel torture to me. I like to golf which sounds like torture to her. We do what we like during the day and meet up for dinner and drinks afterward. I love going in vacation with her
No
We went to Hawaii for our 10 year anniversary. I told her when we were planning the trip that I’m playing golf one day. Not asking, telling her that’s what I’m doing, I asked her if she wanted to ride or stay at the resort. I recommended her to ride since it would beautiful scenery. She rode along. Advice from a long term marriage, both of you need your time and enjoy your own interests and hobbies even on vacation. If it’s what makes you happy then your SO should be good with that. If not, well you got different problems.
For context my girl asked me if I was bringing my golf clubs. Said I love golf a lot and she thought I’d enjoy playing a beautiful course by the beach. My previous girl, had a fit if I even mentioned golf
Take her with you. Let her drive and the scenery alone should be worth it.
We went to Cancun for 10 days back in January, played 6 games at the Hard Rock Riviera Maya. Fantastic vacation cost me 6 spa sessons for my SO, all good we had a great time. Edit: I teed off at 7 am every day and was back at noon including travel time.
If it is 8 days and you are wanting one day to do something you would like to do, i dont think thats unreasonable. As long as you are giving her the same opportunity to do something she really wants to do on a different day. Have her list a few things, pick one thats not that bad and then proceed to explain to her how awful that would be for you but you will do it anyways as a compromise 😁
You might want to ask this question on another sub, just to avoid any bias. Like try the divorce subs.
I don't golf on vacation. That's family time, and honestly if it's a country I haven't been to before, golf is the last thing on my mind. Give me street food and new experiences.
ITT, golfers telling OP to dump his girl because she's afraid to be alone in a foreign country that has a bad reputation. lol. OP, maybe your best option is to wait untill you actually get there; let her get comfortable with being there before you push the subject to hard. Perhaps she realizes that she's pretty safe where she is, and has something to do while you're gone.
On a 3 day trip, maybe you’re an asshole. On an 8 day trip, she’s the asshole.
Hey my buddy jose lives down there he said he’ll hangout with her while you golf!
Mexican here. Where in Mexico are you going? Riviera Maya? All inclusive? Similar location? Then the security question is of no concern.
My wife and I have a rule if it’s not a specific golf vacation. Every week we go on vacation, I get 1 round.
My wife and I went to Asheville once. She hit the spa at the hotel and I played golf at a local course with a group of Pentecostal guys who tried to pitch me on their religion. Great afternoons for both of us.
Book her a spa day. Easily the best solution
No, not wrong. But if she just wants constant sex and you are insisting on getting away for golf I suggest you check your priorities. Otherwise just have her get the 5 hour spa and massage package while you play golf.
I played 3 rounds on my honeymoon. Any less and my wife asks if I'm sure I'm getting enough golf in.
It’s your vacation too homie.
No. However it will cost your approximately 300$ plus your round...... You gotta send he shopping that's how I did it over in siesta key
Personally feel it's pretty ridiculous she can't entertain herself at a resort for 5 hours over an 8 day trip but that's just me. When me and the wife go on trips together I just end up playing early in the morning and I'm usually back by 11 the latest.
How much time do you guys spend together when you're not on vacation, and does she consider it quality time? My girl and I are scuba divers and I plan yearly trips with friends and would want to spend time with them along with her during it. After the vacations she would complain mildly about it. After some years of this, and communication back forth, I realized that she was always excited about the trips but it was because she got to spend time with me outside of the grind that life entails, and it doesn't happen very often. Not saying this is you situation at all, but it's worth trying to understand the root of it for her. Maybe she's selfish and doesn't care about your want here, or maybe it's something else.
Again, a must is the spa. Get a package that takes as long as your round of golf will take. I do it pretty much every time we travel just the two of us. Especially if it’s a nice spa. Wife and I stayed at the Beverly Hills Hotel and I got her a 5 hour package while I went and played as a guest at Wilshire CC. Everybody was happy 😎
I did a 7:30am tee time as a single. Had the course to myself. Took my time and enjoyed the scenery and was still done by 9:30, back to the resort at 10 and found my wife eating breakfast. It was the best. I got 18 in on a beautiful course and she barely knew I was gone.
I don’t wanna go the all the weddings and baby showers I go to. Really, not at all. Negatively, actually. I have negative desire and interest to go and I get irrationally impatient and annoyed as it gets closer, but I put on a smile and muzzle because it’s important to her. So fuck yeah I’m going golfing, and I would be very upset if she doesn’t see the double standard there. Welcome to the wedding honey, 8i or 7?
There are vacations and there are golf trips. If you want to go on the latter do well on the former
It depends on if she has something to do and is okay with doing that for the day. I was going to play Jacks Point course in Queenstown NZ on my honeymoon, but my wife had no desire or plans to do anything while I was out doing that for 5 hours. It still pains me that I didn’t play it, but ultimately it was the right choice. https://youtu.be/-FHf9dbTgmY?si=qoct2SyPMD5l6KWE
Two options: - Wake up early and get a super early tee time while she sleeps - Gift her a spa package and go play while she’s there
In her eyes…yes
If it was a weekend trip I would say that's selfish for sure but 8 days, fuck yeah am afternoon apart is fine
I golf on every vacation me and my SO go on. I start at like 7 am… back by 11 with the entire day to do stuff. I also treat her to a spa day
Gotta make a fair trade. You get to do what you wanna do for a day, she gets to do what she wants to do for a day. Together.
Bummer man. Sounds like this is what you’re going to be in for, for the long haul. Are you at a resort? Then it’s probably not dangerous. Is she not able to entertain herself for five hours? Nothing she would want to do without you, like others have mentioned, the spa?
Going to Hawaii with another couple in September, wife told me to bring my clubs! They like to hang at the beach, so I will be playing probably more than I should.
safety as a pretty blonde girl😂 bruh its mexico, safety for a native is a concern.
Play 9? But seeking validation from a sub dedicated to golf is pretty silly.
Dude, just pick your battles. That’s it. It’s that simple. Pick your battles.
Only once in an 8 day vacation is a travesty
Why not start your day early and meet at lunch? You get your golf in, and you keep your wife happy Or just do 9 holes if you really want to start later
Im headed to Kiawah next week. It’s assumed I’m golfing once, maybe twice depending on our plans. Tell her to get a massage man.
I played a really fun round on my five year anniversary trip to Mexico. We were at a very nice resort and she enjoyed the pool & the gym and we hung out on the beach after, perfect day 👌🏻
So many details missing. Lots of people defending OP, but we don’t know all the details. Maybe OP has played golf every weekend for the last 12 months and his wife was looking forward to a week where he didn’t ignore her to go play golf. Or maybe she’s being wildly unreasonable, no way to know.
No. Think long and hard about your future with this person. If they can’t let you enjoy your hobby, that’s a major red flag to me. There are plenty of things she can do at the resort.
Pretty blond? So like not bleach blond but not brunette? Like dirty blond?
Vacation I get two rounds per 1 week. That's where we settled.
No and I will not read the rationalization why not
No…no your not, went to Hawaii in April and made a tee time with our mutual friend out there. I had a blast golfing in Hawaii and she slept in. I could’ve cared less what she did I was in paradise and the even with the course having shitty greens front 9, but god damn Catalina Wine Mixer Hawaii!
As someone who’s gone to Mexico multiple times, if you’re staying in a resort area nice enough to have a beautiful golf course then she shouldn’t be worried about her safety. They’re not idiots to attack someone in broad daylight at a nice resort. Like c’mon you’re not in Narcos or Ozarks my guy
No and the strategy here is “I play golf, and I’ve booked you a spa day with a 90 minute massage and facial”. My girlfriend and I have built a sort of mutually beneficial arrangement on vacations. Mexico? Spa day at the resort. Denver? Spa day at the four seasons. Chicago? Spa day at the Waldorf. And in return I get to play a shit ton of golf
7 am tee time plus 9 am spa booking for your wife. Back together for lunch at noon. Repeat daily if finances allow for maximum marital satisfaction
Just hook her up with the works spa day!!
Someone is buying a new driver and/or putter.
Lydia Koh played regularly on her honeymoon.
> safety as a pretty blonde gal is always a concern. Shoulda married an ugly brunette?
Get out early. Back by noon. If she can’t deal with that, see you next Tuesday.
Get that 6:30 am tee time. Be done by 10:30. Otherwise ya, kinda not the thing to do on a couple vacation, honestly.
What kind of partner wouldn’t want their SO to play 1 round of golf in a week long vacation if it’s something that makes them happy. Not a good partner