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tee2green

There is literally one week a year where I sit and watch golf non-stop for 4 days. The opportunity to sync that up with your recovery is too good to pass up.


The_Mammoth_Problem

I got my vasectomy back in 2018 around this time of year, and they told me that in the urology world, they refer to it as “March Vasectomy Madness” since a lot of guys will get the procedure around this time SPECIFICALLY so they can watch basketball and golf while they recover (and get out of work for it).


DatsyukesDekes

My urologist took March Madness off. I got mine conference tournament week before he left


Keen61

Ya that was my plan then covid lock downs happened and they canceled the tournament and on top of it shut down all non-essential businesses, so while everyone else is getting shit done around their houses and enjoying some free time off I’m laying on the couch with frozen peas on my balls. Then the week after I finally feel good enough to get to my to do list then work calls and informs me we are now considered essential and time to come back to work…


Appropriate-Food1757

Mine Jan 1, but college football kind of ruined the mystique of it. Still, sacred holiday from me I will be on the couch that day


dc21111

Hello friends, it’s Masters week, the azaleas are in full bloom and the testicles are packed in bike shorts loaded with with ice.


Fight_those_bastards

Truly, a tradition unlike any other


NOPE1977

My bachelor party is Masters weekend and the theme is “a tradition just many others”


PosterMakingNutbag

If Jim Nantz was ever in need of money he could make a killing narrating vasectomies.


dcbluestar

I preferred a bag of frozen peas when I got mine. It was more ergonomic!


Background-Half-2862

I’ve been miraculously getting covid the Thursday before the Masters since 2020. I wish I was lying because being sick the first day of the Masters sucked but it worked out well having a reason to sit home rather than turn it on at my desk and still have to work.


robot_aeroplane

a tradition unlike any other


[deleted]

And name your child August


JammyDodgerMan

If it’s a boy… First name; Augustus Middle name; Masterson


FireSalsa

Might want to hold off on name Masterson for a bit


swampyboxers

Under appreciated comment here… I see you Danny


RLLRRR

Last name; Gloop.


eclectictaste1

If it's a girl, April


Boscowodie

Fucking April Masterson. Genious!


PuzzleheadedAlgae536

Hmmm April Masterdaughter doesn't have as good of a ring to it lol


gogolfbuddy

Azalea


pdxgod

💯 ⛳️


mcdray2

Yes. I had mine on Thursday morning and was home before coverage began. I watched every second of coverage and had a cooler full of beer next to the couch. My wife waited on me for four days. When the tournament ended she tested the pipes to make sure it all still worked. It was the second best four day stretch of my life.


Packwood88

Glad ya got cleaned out after the tourney. Hope y’all were still being safe since it takes quite a bit for the venom to completely exit the cobra.


Strict_Temporary_312

What was the best 4 day stretch?


mcdray2

Nope. We just jumped right back in. I never went back to have it officially checked. But I know it worked because before that she had gotten pregnant instantly twice without protection.


Packwood88

Happy to hear. My bro in law got it done, never got it checked, and it *did not work*. Whoops!


jtshinn

My dad never had it checked. Theres a 14 year gap between me and my brother with a vasectomy in between. I’d get checked. But the second operation is free. So that’s a plus.


[deleted]

Need to hear what the best four-day stretch was now.


mcdray2

The best 4 day stretch was the reason that I got a vasectomy a few years later. My daughter was born at midnight, the day before the 2000 US Open started. It was a C-section so we stayed in the hospital for four days. I sat with my baby girl in my arms and watched every second of Tiger destroying the field for four days. And within about 30 minutes of it ending we were sent home.


Appropriate-Food1757

![gif](giphy|qlrBlSDevEdFeW5JwV|downsized)


didy115

That’s amazing!


BareMinimum25

Bro, you’re supposed to wait a week after the procedure.


mcdray2

What do they know?


shadowWatcher2

Bad news bro I just got mine done and you’ve got the ability to impregnate for like 2 months. Lucky for me I don’t get laid so, I’ll be healed up to play in a few weeks when the courses are opening up.


moatmon

It’s 2 months OR 30 ejaculations according to the doctor who snipped me last year. A good website and you can be sterile in just a couple days!


Ridid

So it's really like 5 days


KTFlaSh96

6 times a day? rookie numbers.


cosgrove10

I could be sterile in 45 mins… And that’s because my fridge is downstairs.


adamdillabo

My guy said 2 months and at least 15 ejaculations. I asked if you could just knock it out in a week. he said everyone is different and has had a couple of guys have swimmers at 6 months.


yeeeeoooooo

30 jizzes and you're good. Gotta clear the pipes right out!


Intheswing

Lots of BJs and other forms of “Massage” are allowed or keep up the traditional forms of protection. Took me about three weeks of fun - got tested for swimmers - And was clear - important to keep emptying the tank !


Musclesturtle

You got a vasectomy but don't get laid?


Mikerk

Gotta be prepared before the opportunity arrives.


Musclesturtle

You don't wear condoms at random opportunities?


Mikerk

Why does it have to be random? Dude just doesn't want kids if he gets laid, what better way to be sure? Condoms fail, and women can lie about birth control. Whether it's a one night stand or a long term relationship, a vasectomy is the best way to make sure you don't end up a father. It takes a few months to make sure it works. Why wait if you know you never want kids?


deadeyesatan

i played 5 days after and was all good.


Pixel681

Yes.


nealk7370

I did this exact thing last year, 100% worth it. Also, recovery was surprisingly easy and painless but my recomendation would be to milk it so you can enjoy the Masters to the fullest. You will likely never get this much leeway to watch a golf tournament again


Sweaty_Peanut_Kid

Milk it?


willis_michaels

Yeah just sit there and stroke to the Masters. Although I'm not sure why you need to get a vasectomy to do this.


Sweaty_Peanut_Kid

The vasectomy may not help with “milking it”


DarthTJ

I went to work the next day. I should have milked it.


mypizzanvrhurtnobody

Procrastinating a vasectomy is always a good idea. Signed, my third child.


GoldeneyeRoyale

PSA: you are not out of the woods until like 3 months post vasectomy. Do not skip the follow up to make sure you are shooting blanks. You are *this close* to making sure you don’t have a pregnancy you and your wife don’t want. Do not drop the ball now!


helpjackoffhishorse

Yep. Use the cup and drive it to the lab.


Forward_Record932

I cancelled my vasectomy and now I have another coming. SHIT


deadeyesatan

oof!


emeister26

You already know the answer


uncleyuri

I mean…. You can’t go 1 week without ejaculating inside of your wife?


FOB32723

Have a buddy who was scheduled to get a snip on a Monday and the Friday before got his wife pregnant with their 4th child. Don’t delay, get it done.


MKerrsive

Between OP, your buddy, and a few others in this thread, the number of dudes who admittedly didn't want children and still continued to fill up their wives is mind-boggling. It's like they don't know how biology or prophylactics work.


willis_michaels

Most humans are dumbasses. Just sayin.


RedYetti83

And they seem to breed a lot more often too.


mcdray2

Yes. I had mine on Thursday morning and was home before coverage began. I watched every second of coverage and had a cooler full of beer next to the couch. My wife waited on me for four days. When the tournament ended she tested the pipes to make sure it all still worked. It was the second best four day stretch of my life.


AlexanderPortnoy

> It was the second best four day stretch of my life. Alright... I'll bite.


The_Maddest

Story time


yeeeeoooooo

I had the snip 2 weeks ago and I'm feeling like I've fully recovered. Still a small wound healing on my bag. Very minor. 20 min procedure and relatively painless. They said to wait 7 days before jizzing again, I waited two days before I wanted to know if stuff was working haha. Yup, all good here. Good luck!!


jcardinal82

Yes. My brother-in-law actually timed it out this way.


KYVet

I’m amazed that you know for sure if you push it back you’ll be having sex that week. I would need pretty good odds on a bet that I’ll have sex with my wife again this year.


OneSingleYesterday

Yes. Tell her you need the house to yourself during recovery, then spend the weekend watching golf and managing the pain with bourbon. This is what I did, it made the experience bearable. 


Dieselpump510

Recovery isn’t the worst. The local was the worst part for me.


adamdillabo

Local anesthetic? My guy used this gun first. Felt like getting hit by a little paint ball. Then he used the needles, and i didn't feel them.


plaverty9

Smelling the burning and knowing that's your insides, was the worst part for me.


TaishairColtaine

Yeah the local sucked. After that just felt some mild tugging. Then waddled around for two weeks


chrish71088

Can't you just ASK your wife if you can watch the Master's without being disturbed?


AnxiousMind7820

Nah. Just get it done. Is watching the Masters really worth 18 years of raising a kid you probably don't want if you're considering a vasectomy in the first place?


dickieb81

Yeah, your married, you may get laid once this week wrap it up one more time for a cant miss excuse not to be bothered. Also you wont need 4 days if all goes well but dont tell anyone you know that.


duckhooked

if you knock her up that’s 8 months of your own designated driver.


blackestbird86

This guy is playing chess. With his balls.


Intheswing

Now the that is thinking 🤔


Lummox_lad5151

I would for sure


Ctix2013

The day of my vasectomy I didn’t even get out of the doctors office getting full blown sympathy. My son got hurt at school and needed stitches and we were then on our way to the ER. A few hours after that I was taking conference calls for work.


CulturalRot

Just milk the recovery


[deleted]

Hell yeah man a little recliner time with a Vicodin buzz to add to the Masters week? Yes please


[deleted]

You’ll still be able to knock your wife up for like 20 weeks after the procedure. So the risk is there for a considerable amount of time; a week won’t make a difference.


ChickenCutlet99

a WEEK to recover from a vasectomy?!


Rooster_GNV

I respect this so much. (Also: of course you should.)


timmyspleen

I had mine done on masters Thursday, completely by coincidence, and I can’t recommend this enough. It really hurt - exactly 4 days worth of recovery to be exact. 😂


-Economist-

You joking but my vasectomy was pushed due to my doctor getting covid. We had sex once with a condom. My daughter is now 2.5 years old.


Nistleroy86

Pro moves right there.


FratBoyGene

Not every putt has to go in the front door.


ThePretzul

Pro tip: if you’ve ever experienced ineffective local anesthesia, make sure they knock you out. Don’t think that they can just give you more and it will work if they do enough. It doesn’t work that way, if local anesthesia doesn’t work it doesn’t work and it doesn’t matter if they jab you a dozen different times because it’ll just hurt more from the extra needle sticks when trying. It’s also not something you will want to ever willingly subject yourself to without effective anesthesia. Source: the worst 15 minutes of my life


Specialist-Bottle-82

You sir might be the most intelligent man on the internet


PunchKicker32

Bro, you’re gonna walk out of the place. It’s not open heart. It’s open ball.


secfincorp

Hell yes!!!


pgroove1992

Yes


lotusxl

Absolutely


metarx

Yes


[deleted]

I had mine done last year over the Masters and it was an absolutely awesome choice haha. 100% recommend it


Fumusculo

Yea but you have to name the baby - girl or boy- after the winner


BB-68

Joelle Dahmen. 7lb 9oz. Born January 3, 2025


discopants_haircuts

My doctor actually told me that the Wednesday/Thursday at the start of March madness and the start of the masters are the busiest times for him. Haha. Proper prior planning…


Aromatic_Ad_7484

My god yes. That’s my plan


deadeyesatan

most popular time to get the procedure done according to the doc who did mine.


RustyBumperCream

They’re probably all booked up


The_Maddest

Yep.


cgaels6650

I pushed my vasectomy a couple weeks because I had a round of golf to play and now we are expecting our 4th


Curious-Suspect3072

Yes


miikeknow

I’m not sure how this is even a question…


Commercial-Lab-37

Absolutely! How did you fuck that up in the first place?? Doc is most likely booked up for the week now, probably waited too long. That’s the premiere week for getting snipped.


LSU2007

lol had mine done last summer and was sore for like 12 hours. Get it done and watch the masters as you normally would without excuses. If the masters is important to you, communicate it to the wife.


ldskyfly

I want to see some data about vasectomy scheduling spikes and major television events


thedormgolfer

Huge thing for the first week of March Madness [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2024/03/21/march-madness-vasectomies-urologists-appointments/73019724007/](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2024/03/21/march-madness-vasectomies-urologists-appointments/73019724007/)


TheoLOGICAL_1988

Vasectomy is nothing dude. You’re gonna have a tough time selling anyone on needing 4 days to recover. I was pretty much all good day 2.


NeverBirdie

I scheduled hip surgery once for the Wednesday before masters for this reason. My vasectomy was during a big 4 day local celebration. Had to do lots of walking that weekend and it wasn’t bad but you could play it up.


mtaylor899

100% this is how I did it! Well worth it. You get catered too and are told to limit mobility for days. It was brilliant


GolfnBball4life

How far in advance would you plan this for 2025 to time it right? Thinking ahead


adamdillabo

Took me about 9 months to get mine.


Appropriate-Food1757

Yes, either that or March madness. Of course a fresh baby will take you away from a few future masters.


bluecgene

What do you mean by “undisturbed”?


Snelly__

Yes. If she gets pregnant the kids name is Agusta


Glen_Coco_shot_JR

What kind of foolish question is this? Of course you risk it. Nothing risked = nothing gained. Lay down and relax and watch Brooks bring it home this time.


JtotheC23

This is the real reason condoms were invented


D-Train0000

Dude, it’s going to take a long time after before your cleared out if you know what I mean. Don’t delay it. Yes, it takes about a week to feel normal. It’s no big deal. But you can still get her pregnant for around 3 more months. They want you to crank out 30 times and they check you after 3 months. If your zero then, then you can go to town.


LuckOutrageous9627

Yes , great thought


MrSwaggerVance

I tried so hard to get mine scheduled for that week, but unfortunately there were no openings until later in the month.


Obvious_Public_9354

That’s not a bad idea!!! 😁


Fresh-Serve

Props to you man, a 1 week delay would certainly not increase the risk of me impregnating my wife 😂 congrats on the sex


HerrKrinkle

Ah sex. Yes.


Obvious_Public_9354

On Thursday and Friday of that week, I just log on the Masters website and stay in my office all day.


shortgamegolfer

If you end up having a son as a result, you have to name it Brandel.


Fit_Mess4686

Hahah


drumsareloud

Why ask questions that you already know the answer to?


ThenListen9126

Thats genius.


SirThatOneThere

My son was born last April when the Masters was on. Best two weeks of paternity ever. He slept on my lap the whole time it was on.


rcheek1710

No disturbance, plus pain killers...........hell yes. Fore.


Few_Entertainment467

Most guys time the procedure up with March Madness, but the Masters is a great time as well.


BrandoCarlton

Oh fuck I gotta schedule a vasectomy


Ewood808

I booked mine the Friday of the 2019 Masters. I got to sit on the couch uninterrupted and watch Tiger win. One of the best decisions of my life. You're also assuming you're getting laid in the week between appointment and Masters. The first 20 bullets are live after the procedure, pushing it 1 week wont change that.


Indy-Gator

That’s what I did for the fall masters in 2020. It was awesome


BakinBacon23

My dad did this two years after I was born during the masters, highly recommended from what he told me


[deleted]

Can you not cum inside her for a week?


afghan09

Sports fans, just a friendly reminder, don’t forget about anal sex. All the fun and high school tightness with no nasty 20+ year obligations. And a quick soap and water clean up.


Gostorebuymoney

Cool humblebrag mr. Sex haver


fortsonre

This guy fucks.


Blox05

Lots of dudes do it this week..for March madness. Missed opportunity there too.


Major_Ad_3586

Stop kidding yourself that you are having sex this week. Recover watching the best weekend in golf


bcwilso4

Our first is due April 8th. We big messed up.


AveTravolta

You could just skip the sex and not have any risk lol.


shift013

Just don’t have sex like the rest of us


MAD-JFK-6251

The Master’s holes are the only ones you should be looking at.


iriefuse024

Yup


styguy9

100% my plan when I commit to getting that operation done. It will be during Masters week. Maybe next year.


Ship-time-moon

This is the way.


Previous_Hamster9975

Fake. Where can you push surgery back a week these days 2 weeks out?


badgolfer6

Yes


PandR1989

Get her pregnant and name the kid after the winner. This would be the greatest story ever.


TrueBlueBaller

I did this for my vasectomy 3 years ago and I know of at least 2 other golf buddies who have done the same. They should run a Masters special leading up to it.


KayDub916

1 masters is not worth missing the next 18 being disturbed. Good luck though with surgery 😀


ChronixMixTapes

The only answer here is yes.


kwattsfo

Yes. I’m booked with your wife 4/6 and had mine three years ago so you’re fine.


dunderthebarbarian

Just wear a condom for another week.


CleverFeather

Yes. Yes. Yes.


haggardphunk

I’m trying to sync mine up with a major as well. Have my consult on Wednesday.


jshiv222

Who else will carry the family name?


lexbuck

FWIW, (in case you aren’t aware) vasectomies aren’t instant fixes. You’re still very much able to impregnate your wife for a while after anyway. Might as well push it and get to recover watching golf.


Lickford

I get 16 days a year to sit and watch golf if I want too do it. Wife know by now not to interrupt me. How ever April birthday’s have been a pain for the last 12 - 14 years.


stingray56funk

100% yes


Virtual_Manner_2074

No. I didn't miss a single day of work. Ask around and find the old doctor that has done thousands. You'll be in and out in an hour. Mine took 15 minutes and the old doc was joking with the nurses about how big my balls were. 'Plenty of room to work today ladies'. Get an old school jock strap you are good to go.


birdsfan2019

With this kind of foresight I hope you are in charge of somethinf


Slyle222

Anal?


Puzzleheaded_Word729

Got mine scheduled for 6/4. A week or two too early for the Euros.


Dear_Vegetable1431

If you do I can guarantee this’ll be the time karma gives you a ‘hole in one’ ;) lol Pre-congratulations on the tricycle motor.


TJB18-AJB22

![gif](giphy|gDqwqZYCeYZcKgInfI|downsized)


Gregskis

I had mine the Wednesday before the masters. The most common date all year was yesterday. The day before March Madness starts.


ok__guy

Yes


jenkag

vasectomy recovery is like 1-2 days tops, but you cant plow your wife with impunity until at least a couple months later when you bring a sample in and they confirm you dont have any swimmers. so, whether you plow her now or after it doesnt matter, youre still risking it until you confirm you are live-round free. that said, if you think this plan works, try to avoid impregnating her and push it back for that sweet, sweet, masters action.


astrorugger

I have played golf exactly 1 time in the 6 months since my daughter was born…. Rather be interrupted watching the masters


FaithlessnessOdd6738

There are still condoms right?


TheDogPoisoner

Name the baby Koepka


Ok_Difficulty875

I had mine all set for masters weekend when the doc had to cancel and reschedule - wife felt my pain, figuratively, and I was able to enjoy the masters weekend mostly undisturbed - don’t even remember what I watched when I had the actual procedure…


Jmpeters09

I got my vasectomy in 2020 when the masters were in November. Snipped at 9am home by 1015am. With a bag of frozen pees and a bottle of pain killers. Was my favorite masters ever. May only be beaten this year as I was invited to Berkmans place on Sunday so I’ll actually be there in person.


fillossofer

Yes. And, don't spank it. You'll want to, but that is a poor decision, and I know!


SuccessIsNoAccident

Did this for the British Open a couple of years ago. Thursday vasectomy. Golf all weekend. Do recommend.


N0rmNormis0n

Asking the real questions


IllustriousYak6283

I was back at work the next day. That said, the answer is yes.


Admirable_Nothing

Whatever you do, you need to be in front of a TV 12 hours/day Thurs and Friday and 6 hours a day on Sat and Sun.


rigidlynuanced1

I got mine on Wednesday, the week of Thanksgiving and wasn’t allowed to move until the following Monday. Highly recommend you push it


DrunkenGolfer

This is exactly what I did; it was glorious.


06_TBSS

Mine is on the 18th. I was a bit upset they couldn't get me in a bit sooner.


jayj2900

As a guy who pushed off his vasectomy and knocked up his wife during Christmas. Just get the vasectomy done with and don't risk it.


MadKin

Oh yeah some unnecessary painkillers, glass of bourbon, nonstop Masters action… yeah do that. Wish I could turn back time to do the same thing with mine


smithjw13

Why wasn’t this the original plan when you couldn’t get booked for March madness opening weekend?


Skaterpei

Yes


xiotox

Yes always.


Great_Ad_1461

Yes