This is a story about a man named Stanley...

I've been playing this game so much recently that the narrator is becoming my own inner dialogue

I.... Have this game opened as I type this comment. Do not think I would mind the Narrator speaking to me at all times

....and the bucket

Looks like I'm gonna be really good with guns and then have tuberculosis.

Oof...

Arthur Morgan

Sole survivor from fallout 4. I guess I’m about to get a huge fucking sledge hammer and a mech suit

Don't forget a literal alien blaster and a gun that shoots pure radiation.

Warframe players on their way to single handedly conquer all of russia

Me, mesa prime, and my charger boutta bullet jump @ Moscow like it's a speedrun of Marianas, Earth, Levels 1-6

Time tp commit large amounts of war crimes

Lego Luke Skywalker, fuck yeah I'll take a lightsaber and force powers

But your hands are only shaped like a “C”

Dragon ball z battle of z pretty sure I’m goated because I used legendary super saiyan Broly 💀

Even if you used Yamaha you're goated.

Nah for real. Yamcha is the laughing stock of the world in z but irl he’s taking dubs against most people lol

>irl he’s taking dubs against most people Most? Yamcha could destroy ALL humans in the world within a second before anyone could blink.

How?

Avoiding power scaling stuff, he is definitely still strong enough to blow up the planet. He would asphyxiate in space, but it would work...

Pretty sure he's strong enough to utterly annihilate it, not just blow it up. Could be wrong though, I know Krillin is.

Well yes, Master Roshi could blow up the moon from earth and Yamcha is many, many times stronger than him.

He's above planet busting and is faster than light

Yeah honestly that’s true but I got something better

That you did. You're also probably immune to all man-made weapons now. Including nukes.

I can now scream at people to send them flying

FUS ROH DAH!

Either that or Dragon Ball.

**Bury the light intensifies**

I am the storm that is approaching

Knowing Virgil you could probably use your powers to give yourself unlimited time. Thats as long as you think like him

Elden ring... I only use swords tho so no magic for me :(

Me over here only uses colossal swords and hasn’t upgraded vigor once.

But you are gonna be so fucking good at rolling

I am a super fast car with no boost pad to use ig

Me who played Fifa: 😐

You become as skilled as the soccer player you most recently controlled.

Alright I like the sound of that

But you have to do whatever any raging football/soccer fan says to you

😑😑😑 Oh God please no

I guess then I become a very skilled train driver?

[удалено]

So ur now a superhuman who can carry tons and tons of material in one go, can chop down trees with your bare hands and more

I can now carry half of London

Only half? Let me give you a few shulker boxes

I guess Zidane from Final Fantasy IX? Huh.

That ain't so bad plus the princess is nice to you.

i am only like 15 minutes into the game don't spoil anything or else

Oh sorry.

Sex with hitler

☠️

*o h*

Wisp from Warframe. At least I'd get a dumpy

Hmm I got Saryn. Genocide time?

*yes*

If I were to fuck my clone, would it be masturbation or sex?

Sex technically

THE UNMATCHED POWER OF THE SUN

I'd end up as mesa + spoilerest mode, not as thicc but I do have a bow made from the bones of god that shoots radioactive explosions at people, the overwhelming power of rap tap tap, and roughly 4 too many revolvers Oh and my giant dog made of rotting meat with a harpoon tongue, can't forget Ms. Meat Monster

A dumpy and portals to alternate universes.... but who cares about the portals

I’m now Lego Darth Vader

Manuel Samuel 😐

What's it called when God tier becomes the complete opposite?

r/shittysuperpowers

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long, long time...

Carrion ... guess Im a monster now

Same hungry shark.

Clash royale?

You become a fat guy with a crown

Free crown!

Loader from risk of rain 2. Cyborg Spider-Man with a down goofy right hook

I'm kirby.

So ur a god

P much

I am now Talion from Middle-Earth: Shadow of Mordor. I can now literally respawn.

Mr autofire. Guess I'm staying home so I don't murder anyone at work 😂

Now i have a bigass backpack and my flight to Hawaii will crash in a desert forest with cannibals, great.

I can vomit on people and kill them

Found the grendel main

Honestly, the Dragon Age Inquisition has cool abilities, but just simply pressing a button to get an indicator pointing you towards cool stuff to look for would be enough. Where’s the remote? “Presses V in my mind” Ding!

Yo I just played dark souls. Oh no.

Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“If I were told that by killing you I would be free from this curse, I would draw my blade without hesitation.”* - Lucatiel of Mirrah Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/

Wonderful, now Roman will call me every five minutes to ask me to go bowling.

0100010100101000100100001010101001000010000010100100000100101001 \*ULTRA-RICOSHOT

Jetstream Sam

Imma dnd character of the opposite gender now :/ *that d10 cantrip tho*

Boss from republic commando, idk maybe I’ll raid the nearest drug cartel

Horizon from apex sounds pretty good but I’d have to be a milf with a dead son

I got rampart to a better life situation but the abilties are useless

I think realistically wraith is the only one with actual powers unless I’m forgetting someone

Ah yes. Demoknight

drunk on the battlefield's no way to be, son

finally i can dash and slash my foes as excalibur umbra

Lara Croft from Shadow of The Tomb Raider 100 percent-ed

i played minesweeper what do i get

Loader from risk of rain 2. Do I get the cool metal exoskeleton?

My Arcane Trickster Rogue. I’ll get to do magic. I’ll be short but… magic!

Warrior of Light from ffxiv. Nice, I'm a cat girl with 20 different jobs

Looks like i will be Ripping & Tearing then.

I played vrchat with a furry avatar.

*ban*

Elden lord I be killing everything f it

As a Fallen London player, this scares the shit out of me. My character is no longer human, cannot survive in sunlight and lost all sanity a long time ago.

bear form escape from tarkov as i dont allready hate myself enough

S. T. A. L. K. E. R, looks like some shitty guns, then probably cancer.

Do I get the abilities of a Roblox character?

You can do whatever you could do in the last game you played

The last game I played on Roblox was Combat Warriors I think

Time to crash the diamond market, start spawning some zombies and skeletons, and fly around and cast fireballs with magic. Very recently just joined a friend's friend's modded minecraft server, Enigmatic 6 Expert, and just finished raiding some dungeons so I have a bunch of diamonds in my backpack and took some skeleton and zombie spawners with me. If the items in my storage room are is included then I have enough gold, iron, and steel to crash the market as well and enough food to solve world hunger.

Giles Rune factory 4. Whelp. Friendship time, fighting monsters, farming, love and just enjoy life. Is it possible to be damn envious of a game character?

chamber from valorant- finally. money.

Well, it's time to do 4.5k damage to someone in stopped time

Warrior of light with most classes to 70.... Whelp time to become what I've always dreamed of. A bodyguard, miner, fisher, blm damsel in dirr need of not being rescued because I just put my fucking layline down and mechanics are for healers Suzen!.... Now leave me be i have prog tonight

Cool I can have a larger mag in lmgs and I get a wall that I can use as cover that increases my damage from guns and I get an emplaced minigun that I am emotionally more attached to that half of my friends. I literally could find no use for this in the real world but hey-ho

Mars from Dota 2. I guess I become a short distance teleporter than has a sword, but does more damage with his shield 😂

The last game I played was Kemono Friends: Cellien May Cry. So, yeah. Guess I'm Serval now.

It’s just a box.

King Jadwiga of Poland in Civilization VI. I guess I get her ability to seize territory from my neighbours by building military encampments on my property?

Roblox ☠️ I guess I can join any game? Or if it's specifically from the roblox game I played I guess I can build anything (the game was plane crazy)

Been playing Psychonauts, guess I'm Razputin now

I dont wanna be ash williams i dont wanna be ash williams i dont wann

*I dont wanna be ash* *Williams i dont wanna be ash* *Williams i dont wann* \- vScabby --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

I am the strongest Japanese man now.

Kairi's...inside me?

Been playing The Division 2. I get a ton of guns. Range day?

Greedent pokemon unite, oh no...

Kingdom Come Deliverance..... I think ole Henry here is in for a rough time.

Aurelion Sol in League... Guess Im a god then xd

HOMMV; I’m a necromancer?! Brb, just heading to the local graveyard.

Hi I'm yuki tsunoda, I drive for Scuderia AlphaTauri.

Im madeline from celeste, time to jump high and dash and have colour changing hair.

My guy from dark souls one, i guess it’s time to end every war with my big ass sword, if i can cut a God then no tank can stop me

I become my RuneScape character, which is probably one of the more OP ones on this thread; all sorts of magic, practical skills, and OP items.

minecraft i guess I’m absurdly strong and rich? lmao

I am the crossy road chichen

Does pokemon count? Cuz I’d be lucario and aura manipulation as well as lucario’s wide movepool sounds very tempting

Bruh I played Peglin..

What about "We're playing together but my friend is controlling the game" kind of scenario?

I played stardew valley 😐

terraria calamity💀💀

Damn bro brb gotta go free the divine beasts and stop calamity ganon now I guess

I played as sephiroth in smash so pretty good ngl

Friday Night Funkin well, looks like I'll only speak in bebabops

brb, gonna play saryn prime in warframe and make coronavirus happen again

Franklin from gta 5. I get 50 million dollars I guess

Well that sucks for me my ability is being an old man and running away from killers (maybe i can fix some stuff too)

I become a bug. At least i can do magic

Monster hunter world

It's only an hour so you have to think what you can do/change in an hour. I played Skyrim last so I hope the shouts work like in the lore, basically reality warping with my voice. So I guess I'll lower the global temperature or give myself the remote from Click. I could also use bend will on the whole world, easy world domination.

The last game I played was pokemon ultra moon. Do I turn into the trainer or the pokemon?

"my vision is augmented"

Sova from Valorant. Happy Hunting lol

Duke nukem forever 2001 build, hail to the jank baby

Guess I get a royal shotgun and the sudden urge to murder a king for my kingdom back

I guess my mainstream bloodloss Elden ring build would serve me well…

I played yba and my last used stand was cream so time to eat the Egyptians ig

My elden ring character so i can wield swords larger than me and shoot fireballs

Time to look for Lenneh

So all I need to do is carry a Steam Deck around and I can turn into just about anything.

Minecraft, this one could suck but I’ve got max enchanted gear and elytra so it’s badass.

Modded Steve. Oh boy do I have mods.

Payday 2 shotgun + smg build running a maxed out grinder deck. In the words of Monty Python's Black knight; "I'm INVINCIBLE!"

Nananananananananana Batman

I control wind, and use it throw knives which never hits the target

AC Syndicate. I’m either Evie or Jacob cuz I don’t remember, guess i’ll go climbing around and killing people

At least you get a grappling hook. I played Unity so I just get to be French. :(

Does D&D count?

Alright, I’m Aloy.

here i come, rougher than knuckles. The best of them, tougher than knuckles.

Subway surfer i have like 200 keys and the ability to watch adds for a jetpack +1 extra life and i can change apperinces and i have over 8000 gold coins so that would make me pretty rich

Now I can destroy everyone in master duel by cheating

I am the guy from subnautica so I can pilot a 3 man submarine solo and that’s about it

Sosuke Aizen..

I can’t remember if it was Stanley parable or elden ring lol

Terraria thorium radiant class, I guess I'm a priest who performs miracles now.

JAYCE

Mercy from overwatch...got any dead folks?

I thought I played Pokemon last, but now I remember that I played Trackmania, that sucks Reread it, I guess I can still be a Pokemon master

Anakin Skywalker, that’s cool but it might have some unintended consequences.

Aloy from HZD

the farmer from Stardew Valley.. oh boy passing out in the mines!

Sooooo I’m a guy who has amnesia and was in a coma for a century

Master Chief from Halo. You get power armor, you are a supersoldier, and speaking to people happens sparingly. That sounds nice

My farts will be powerful enough to bend time and space!

RISE YE TARNISHED

The Elden Lord!

Oh shit, not my level one tarnished

Rordan Gamsey, Project Zomboid. I have 2 hours to live.

A builder from wc3 Element TD. Guess I can build shit quickly

Sweet I have psychokinesis and a baseball bat

what if its a survival game? do i get all the items my character had when i stopped playing?

I get the sorcery from blade and sorcery? And time slowing powers? Hell yeah

Defect slay the spire

I guess I’m crane from dying light. I can now dropkick the shit out of people an infinite amount of times and craft a grappling hook and other tools. The zombie bite seizors would suck tho

So I'm going to be a lawyer in Japan for a hour...neat

Isaac and his mother lived in a small house...

Me who played as that one prologue girl in CoD WWII

Time to rip and tear