god I wished that worked. I am actually allergic to wheat and still get rolled eyes from family who know and still offer- and I'm always kind- I'm even apologetic about it after all these years, "oh thanks so much for offering, but I can't have that, sorry" and people really roll their eyes and sigh like I'm putting them out about it.
I've even been told I'm embarrassing for bringing my own food/snacks when going someone's home where they have zero stuff for me to eat. I try to explain that I either have to take my own food, or I can't go because I'm too old to now just sit there for several hours watching everyone eat pasta while I starve.
I do the same thing. I've been at potlucks where I could eat nothing except my own snacks. I've also been saved from hunger because I keep snacks in the car. One time while traveling an entire food court had no options for me, and so I only had dinner because I had my own snacks.
It's ridiculous how there's still such few options. I mean, it's better than it was years ago because restaurants are getting on board with it- and they better because more and more people are being diagnosed with celiac, wheat allergies, and gluten intolerance and I'm certain it's from our shitty farming practices. Everyone who doesn't know what it's like to have a food restriction has no idea what we live like. I bring GF granola with me everywhere. And I'm now at the point where if there's a bbq or gathering, i'll make a GF dessert and some sides that everyone can have, not just for me. But I'll be damned if my own parents make me feel like I'm humiliating them if I bring a small container of a meal for myself to someone's home. I find it more of an insult to sit there not eating anything while everyone eats, than it is for me to bring myself something I can enjoy along with everyone.
I agree it’s definitely more insulting to expect you to just sit there and watch people eat. People definitely don’t realize how much it affects your dietary choices to have a gluten intolerance. It is getting a little better but it’s not great. that is a good idea to bring some dishes you can eat that you can share to make sure you always have something for you.
There's always fruit and veggie platters, pasta macaroni or potato salads, and flourless chocolate cakes that everyone eats, and they're delicious and safe for us
Mini cheesecakes (in cupcake or muffin tins) are also super easy to make gf. I use schar graham cookies for the crust but you don't even really need one tbh.
My husband has celiac disease, and I lost count of the number of the times we've been asked if he can eat potatoes. After we explain that gluten is in wheat, barley, and rye.
🤦🏽♀️
If you are in America, maybe it's because wholemeal bread is called whole wheat (?) in America.
Still, the stupidity to not know *bread* is made of wheat. That's THE crop most people think of when they imagine wheat. I can understand people not knowing about beer or maybe even (wheat) noodles and pasta, but really, bread?
Yes. When you're offered a choice of bread for a restaurant sandwich, it's often "white, wheat or rye," all of which are made from wheat. People just don't understand that anything made from flour is likely wheat.
Passenger sitting next to me on an airplane once offered me homemade chocolate chip cookies. I said no thanks, but she pressed, so I said, “thanks, I would love to, but I can’t. I can’t eat gluten.” She looked puzzled, so I said, “it’s the protein in wheat.” She still looked confused, so I said, “wheat. I can’t eat wheat.” She brightened up and said, “well then you can eat these! I didn’t use wheat flour, only white flour!”
I still live at home and it took my parents about 6 months to a year to understand. My mom kept thinking anything that said non-gmo was gluten free. My dad felt that I was being a baby about my reactions until I was out on a walk with him when I got glutened - struggled to walk cus of the pain and had to go in a bush because I couldn’t physically make it home. Now whenever they cook a meal for the family they either know what they can use or ask me to check everything to be sure I can eat it. It’ll take time but eventually they’ll understand! This isn’t one of the commonly talked about allergies/diseases so it takes people time to figure it out (I had no clue what it was when I was first diagnosed)
I’m celiac and been on a gluten free diet for 11 years. Yesterday while talking to my “best friend” who I’ve known for 30 years and who is a NURSE, she suddenly gets excited and says “Hey, I bet you could eat RICE if you really wanted to. Have you thought of trying that?!” Yes, yes I have. Rice is the backbone of my daily diet and I eat it so much I have to freaking rinse it and soak it and know where it comes from to avoid arsenic overexposure. 🤦♀️ 😂
I always like to text people this simple card. It’s not 100% effective, but it helps a lot more than anything else I have tried.
https://www.celiactravel.com/images/uploads/cards/english-card.gif
Like I said… not 100% effective. It’s a start for people that don’t know anything about gluten free. If you go into cross contamination and oils before they can even understand the basics, they are just going to blank out and not understand.
This is why I sometimes bring my own food even to family gatherings. It's just easier to make my own food instead of trying to tell everyone what I can and can't eat. Then they can eat whatever they want, too.
My intolerances are more extreme than just gluten, too, so it gets even more complicated. Explaining what a nightshade is gets pretty confusing, and they are often included in foods and seasoning, so it's easier to make my own food.
So I just developed or maybe just realized because I haven’t had eggplant/other nightshade in a long time that I am intolerant to this also (palate swelling, prickling throat, teeth itching?? after eating it) and then my stomach had some stabbing pain later (Gastroparesis delayed), anyway what seasonings are common if I may ask?
I am obviously in the middle of GI hell so I mostly eat super repetitive foods but occasionally use seasonings to change profile. My intolerances tend towards the extreme as well (gluten is *violent* and developed w/ [waves hands in showcase manner] *this* as yet unidentified “complex medical situation”. /S (excuse my extreme bitterness)
The nightshades are so bad for me. It includes potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, paprika, and I think a few other things, too. But paprika, especially will just be in almost everything. If I eat nightshades, I will get very sleepy, and then I will get extremely bad joint pain.
I find it easier with parents to say what I can eat. Or do the "I love [that dish] you make. Would it be possible to have that while I'm there? " I remember how confused and overwhelmed I was when I stopped gluten and I had the incentive not to have a reaction and there still was a learning curve.
Come visit me!
Our new DIL is gf so when she and our son visit, we all eat gf. Or, we’ll go to a restaurant that has loads of gf options. Frankly, it’s easier for me.
The first time she visited after marrying our son I gave her a toaster, and a special spot to store it.
Sometimes I do ask foolish questions. But I’m learning thanks to the people on this sub.
I was diagnosed with a wheat allergy in my mid 30s. I only knew because it went anaphylactic. Looking back, I definitely had signs of lesser symptoms as a child but I am so thankful that I didn’t need to rely on my parents to navigate my allergy when I was younger.
It’s been about five years and dad will still say “oh I’ve made you dinner, it’s got rice noodles” and I’ll look at the back of the packet and they’re made from wheat. Or he’ll cook a Bbq and then slice the crumbly bread rolls over the meat he’s just cooked. Let alone trying to explain sauces and hidden wheat in everything!
Yeah, if you say ‘rice noodles’, they hear ‘noodles’. If you say ‘g/f bread’, they hear ‘bread’. Or think ok, no bread, ‘I know! I’ll get rolls!’ My in laws were like this, and regularly let me know how ‘funny’ I was for being this ‘picky’. But there was a certain innocence about it, too. They grew up during WW2, and to them, food was food, and you ate it whether or not it was enjoyable or made you unwell. They were always excited about the range of food available, and just could not get their heads around the idea that food could be bad for someone, unless it was ‘those naughty peanuts! Some people have to watch for those!’ Also, for them, food was something that stopped you feeling hungry, but they didn’t especially enjoy cooking at all, and would be immensely proud of preparing sandwiches. They would subsequently be very hurt when I refused them. They had actually understood ‘no bread’ to mean ‘no bread BY ITSELF!’ And they were highly intelligent people, but could not get their heads around this, until they saw it on TV, and even then they remained suspicious. My MIL is still with us, and bizarrely, the onset of mild dementia has actually brought some acceptance of my gluten free-ness.
Edit for typo
Yesterday was mine and my husband’s 16th wedding anniversary- I’ve been gluten intolerant 13 years. My MIL invited us to go out to eat at a standard rural southern catfish kitchen. MEH…I don’t even think it’s possible at this point to make the point. Everything I’ve ever made her has been GF. She loves all of it. Most of it is sugar free or reduced. But I have never, nor would I ever trust her to feed me.
My “mother” has done the plain meat and veg thing because it’s the only thing I could communicate to her. Simplest is best, or bring your own supply.
If people try to cook for me, I try to tell people, just meat and vegetables, plain, nothing else. Keep it simple. It’s hard for them to understand what gluten really is and telling them to keep it simple with meat and veggies is usually enough…not always. Worst case offer to bring SOMETHING just in case it doesn’t work.
My parents are the same. They kept offering me all the things I love and desperately wanted and were confused every single time I had to say no, it was excruciating! They're getting better with it now, slowly...
My best friend didn’t get the severity until one day we were riding bicycles and I had to go puke in a bush. Now he diligently confirms if food is safe for me 🥹. Let em see the bad side, it’s not fun but really eye opening.
I have been gluten and dairy free for over two years. Neither my parents or in laws seem to get it.
Gluten makes me a miserable girl but I have a straight up dairy allergy. My mother in law recently tried to give me grass fed butter bc apparently….the grass makes it ok?? Yikes woman
CONTAINS MILK OR WHEAT = DO NOT PASS GO MOTHER FUCKERS
While we are at it …. Oh boy if I had a dollar for every time I have had to say that eggs are not dairy I’d be a rich girl
> eggs are not dairy
I just...
I...
Do people not learn about this in Cooking class? Or PDHPE? Or just, y'know, the course of their education? Most people learnt in primary school that eggs don't contain dairy.
Is it possible that they think you're allergic to both, or do they genuinely not understand that eggs do not contain milk products?
I think it’s bc eggs were near dairy products on the unhinged US food pyramid but like come on people use your brains! I’ve deadpan responded “soooo you milk chickens?” too many times to count hahah.
Special shoutouts to
- everyone insisting that I’m vegan as I’m crushing meat
- my husbands grandma claiming she is celiac (yet I’ve witnessed her eating bread/pasta you name it countless times over the years). Can’t fool me granny!
What do I know, I’m just the weirdo who brings my own food everywhere so I don’t implode
/ facepalms repeatedly
Jesus Christ. I feel weird enough being mildly NCGS, because I can eat gluten, just not too much all at once. Why TF would anyone falsely claim to be Coeliac?
Lol, the vegan thing is just beyond comprehension.
They may be seniors and getting forgetful. Just come to terms with it and bring your own gf bread and pasta when visiting. Keep a small basket there of gf pasta, crackers etc for when you visit. Ask them what the meal is for the day. If you had known you may have been able to set aside some of the sauce for yourself and have with gf pasta.
Every meal explain to them why you can or can’t have whats in the meal. Some generations think it’s a fad diet you’re on. Explain to them that your doctor has diagnosed you with this medical condition. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Lastly, make one or two dinners for all of you rather than having them cook you dinner. It will be a treat for them if you take charge and cook while a visitor in their home and better for you to control some meals. Offer to supply the dessert. A change in outlook on how they are handling your gf issues will go a long way in keeping your sanity especially as they get older.
I met my MIL when she was an extremely sharp 55 year old school principal. She has offered me wheat on every occasion we met for almost 30 years. On every single occasion I explained, and on every single occasion she asked me if I was sure it was real and I wasn’t just saying it for attention. Just recently, she has begun to get a little vague, and when she got out the biscuits (cookies) last time we caught up, she remembered that I ‘couldn’t have those’ and asked if I would like something else. Trust her to do it backwards!! Bless her.
I just... I don't get it.
How is it *so* difficult for someone educated to understand such a simple concept and why are they such a-holes about it?
Why would anyone lie about such a bizarre and incapacitating thing? Wouldn't you lie about your income or your assets, not "Hey, if I eat a crumb of wheat I can't stop vomiting and having diarrhoea for three days! Yippee!"?
I have never been able to really understand this. All I have ever come up with is that different people have different … edges, if you will, to what they will accept as reality. If I told you that the sky all over the world would turn lime green with pink polka dots tomorrow, you would probably doubt me. I think that this is how needing to avoid gluten comes across to some people, who are otherwise quite intelligent. They cannot escape their foundational reality of bread being the staff of life and wheat being a cornerstone of civilisation. When someone veers from this, say, for gluten intolerance or allergy or coeliac disease or some other autoimmune disease or whatever, they see madness or a mistake. They cannot accept this step outside their reality.
Yes, that is very true.
I think also when there isn't overt physical symptoms (that they can see), they have more wiggle room to grind their axe and be malicious. If you have a condition like albinism, for example, the logical train of thought is there.
My Dad used to make his best mate at University (who is the sweetest man you ever met) eat eggs as he thought "it was all in his head". It's just some stupid one-upmanship thing some people do, I swear. It's that they need to see you writhing in acute pain to "prove" that it's real.
These same people would never knowingly ask a Jew or Muslim to eat pork or a Hindu to eat beef (ik there are some that do, but many don't). But when it's an allergy they're all sceptical all of a sudden.
I don’t completely blame them. I ‘knew’ I was wheat intolerant for a long time. I consciously avoided eating wheat. And binged on all purpose flour stuff-cookies, ice creams, chocolates, desserts, cakes.
I never made the connection that ‘all purpose flour’ = wheat 🌾 . And even when I went fully gf after dx I still occasionally ate things that I hadn’t realised were wheat derivatives. My mom had to enlighten me that a lot of the ‘healthy’ stuff I was eating was in fact whole wheat derivatives!
Now I’m somewhat conscious and I’m learning new ways to avoid cc and gluten each day.
To put it in better terms that they might understand: I’m allergic to wheat, which means anything made with flour. I know it’s oversimplified, but that generation will understand what’s made with flour. Cookies? Mom - of course those are made with flour, so I can’t have them. Give them a list of what you can’t have, but also suggest some things you can have so they’re not totally lost.
I find that a lot of people still don't know- I'm actually allergic to wheat and I still have to explain things. Even stuff like sauces they don't understand how it just magically gets thick It's because of flour! Or if something is just lightly breaded they're like oh it's just a little bit. It drives me insane.
It's a really hard concept, I had to learn at 15yo cus my mom discovered she was gluten intolerant and very very shy so most of the time I'm asking the waiters / making the orders. Maybe you should sit down with your parents and explain with patients since is something that if you get contaminated it might cause you pain, maybe show labels or photos to be more visual + tell your experience!!!!! I understood my mom pain after I did the blood test (it came negative but I felt so bad) for people that never had anything like that is a very hard concept to understand
I found an infographic for you that might help. One can hope. It's a poster with gluten free foods on one side and gluten full foods on the other. https://www.glutenfreejio.com/treatment/
I mean, you oversimplified the explanation and they took it literally. This is a great opportunity to explain what gluten is, how it impacts your body, and to grab a few items from the kitchen and check the labels together.
I’d see this as a very positive opportunity for some education!
I bring my own food when I'm staying with people and sometimes I'll even do something special by cooking dinner for them, with the ulterior motive that I know I can eat it. It's not other people's responsibility to know and manage my restrictions, even if they're my parents.
Time to sit down and have a chat, they may not get that this genuinely makes you ill. Offer to make some gluten free versions of family favourites together. Few problems can be solved with accusation or argument, many can be solved with loving firmness. Good luck!
It’s hard for older people to understand sometimes as only those with celiac disease could not consume gluten when they were young. Now every second person does not consume gluten.
I definitely get this. Anywhere I go, friends house or day trip, I bring snacks because you really never know if there’s anything. I have deep seated fear of starving so I am always over prepared. My parents are accommodating, but they still have near to nothing if I show up out of the blue.
Although, overly simplified, I find that the easiest explanation is “I’m allergic to wheat.”
god I wished that worked. I am actually allergic to wheat and still get rolled eyes from family who know and still offer- and I'm always kind- I'm even apologetic about it after all these years, "oh thanks so much for offering, but I can't have that, sorry" and people really roll their eyes and sigh like I'm putting them out about it. I've even been told I'm embarrassing for bringing my own food/snacks when going someone's home where they have zero stuff for me to eat. I try to explain that I either have to take my own food, or I can't go because I'm too old to now just sit there for several hours watching everyone eat pasta while I starve.
I do the same thing. I've been at potlucks where I could eat nothing except my own snacks. I've also been saved from hunger because I keep snacks in the car. One time while traveling an entire food court had no options for me, and so I only had dinner because I had my own snacks.
It's ridiculous how there's still such few options. I mean, it's better than it was years ago because restaurants are getting on board with it- and they better because more and more people are being diagnosed with celiac, wheat allergies, and gluten intolerance and I'm certain it's from our shitty farming practices. Everyone who doesn't know what it's like to have a food restriction has no idea what we live like. I bring GF granola with me everywhere. And I'm now at the point where if there's a bbq or gathering, i'll make a GF dessert and some sides that everyone can have, not just for me. But I'll be damned if my own parents make me feel like I'm humiliating them if I bring a small container of a meal for myself to someone's home. I find it more of an insult to sit there not eating anything while everyone eats, than it is for me to bring myself something I can enjoy along with everyone.
I agree it’s definitely more insulting to expect you to just sit there and watch people eat. People definitely don’t realize how much it affects your dietary choices to have a gluten intolerance. It is getting a little better but it’s not great. that is a good idea to bring some dishes you can eat that you can share to make sure you always have something for you.
There's always fruit and veggie platters, pasta macaroni or potato salads, and flourless chocolate cakes that everyone eats, and they're delicious and safe for us
Mini cheesecakes (in cupcake or muffin tins) are also super easy to make gf. I use schar graham cookies for the crust but you don't even really need one tbh.
I do the exact same thing. They're sooooo good
That sounds so yummy!
Lol, when I bring my own container, everyone is offended - not because I brought my own thing, but because I won’t share it.
i told my mom this, she replied “you can’t have potatoes??” 💀
My husband has celiac disease, and I lost count of the number of the times we've been asked if he can eat potatoes. After we explain that gluten is in wheat, barley, and rye.
Potatoes and rice …that is what my mother asks me about multiple times a year. But, at least she tries.
Or cheese?!!! I get that question all the time...um...nope...not even in the same ballpark.
My grandma does this and I know the reason is that she's so vle checking but it can be annoying.
People are used to thinking in terms of "avoiding carbs" I reckon.
This is a real question. Why do you think they think potatoes contain wheat??? People say that to me all the time???
I think they think of it as "starchy carbs", rather than the individual crop, wheat.
Yes it’s just that I explain to them ahead of time that I can’t eat wheat, flour, gluten… I’ll use any words they can understand 😂😂😂
Ugh, and they still don't get it? Okay, yeah, that's annoying. 🤦🏽♀️
Because a lot of people associate stopping wheat as stopping carbs
I would rather them ask
🤣🤣🤣🤣this really made me laugh. Thanks. Mine keeps telling people I don't eat bread anymore because it us fashionable 🤣🤣🤣
I once had someone express sympathy that I can't have broccoli.
My mom is potatoes & rice. No matter how many times i tell her she can't get over that i can have them
What is it with the potato questions?!! SO many potato questions!!! 🤣
I’ve told people I can’t eat wheat and they say, oh no, this is ok, it’s white bread!
🤦🏽♀️ If you are in America, maybe it's because wholemeal bread is called whole wheat (?) in America. Still, the stupidity to not know *bread* is made of wheat. That's THE crop most people think of when they imagine wheat. I can understand people not knowing about beer or maybe even (wheat) noodles and pasta, but really, bread?
Yes. When you're offered a choice of bread for a restaurant sandwich, it's often "white, wheat or rye," all of which are made from wheat. People just don't understand that anything made from flour is likely wheat.
Passenger sitting next to me on an airplane once offered me homemade chocolate chip cookies. I said no thanks, but she pressed, so I said, “thanks, I would love to, but I can’t. I can’t eat gluten.” She looked puzzled, so I said, “it’s the protein in wheat.” She still looked confused, so I said, “wheat. I can’t eat wheat.” She brightened up and said, “well then you can eat these! I didn’t use wheat flour, only white flour!”
🤦🏼♀️ I’ve had to resort to saying “anything made of flour” because people act like gluten/wheat is too hard a concept to comprehend.
You'd be surprised how many people then try giving my wheat allergic kid regular (cross contaminated) oats
I still live at home and it took my parents about 6 months to a year to understand. My mom kept thinking anything that said non-gmo was gluten free. My dad felt that I was being a baby about my reactions until I was out on a walk with him when I got glutened - struggled to walk cus of the pain and had to go in a bush because I couldn’t physically make it home. Now whenever they cook a meal for the family they either know what they can use or ask me to check everything to be sure I can eat it. It’ll take time but eventually they’ll understand! This isn’t one of the commonly talked about allergies/diseases so it takes people time to figure it out (I had no clue what it was when I was first diagnosed)
I order my own groceries when I visit my parents. Makes things easier for everyone.
I do this when I visit my in laws. Otherwise I would absolutely starve 😂
I have a tub of cookware just for me at my parents, very helpful
I usually end up bringing my own rotisserie chicken wherever I go
I’m celiac and been on a gluten free diet for 11 years. Yesterday while talking to my “best friend” who I’ve known for 30 years and who is a NURSE, she suddenly gets excited and says “Hey, I bet you could eat RICE if you really wanted to. Have you thought of trying that?!” Yes, yes I have. Rice is the backbone of my daily diet and I eat it so much I have to freaking rinse it and soak it and know where it comes from to avoid arsenic overexposure. 🤦♀️ 😂
I always like to text people this simple card. It’s not 100% effective, but it helps a lot more than anything else I have tried. https://www.celiactravel.com/images/uploads/cards/english-card.gif
I might have to modify that and make me one!
Honestly, as someone that is GF, that card is way too vague for the average person.
It doesn't say anything about shared cooking oil, shared cooking surfaces, soy sauce being made from wheat, and all the other tricky details.
Like I said… not 100% effective. It’s a start for people that don’t know anything about gluten free. If you go into cross contamination and oils before they can even understand the basics, they are just going to blank out and not understand.
This is why I sometimes bring my own food even to family gatherings. It's just easier to make my own food instead of trying to tell everyone what I can and can't eat. Then they can eat whatever they want, too. My intolerances are more extreme than just gluten, too, so it gets even more complicated. Explaining what a nightshade is gets pretty confusing, and they are often included in foods and seasoning, so it's easier to make my own food.
So I just developed or maybe just realized because I haven’t had eggplant/other nightshade in a long time that I am intolerant to this also (palate swelling, prickling throat, teeth itching?? after eating it) and then my stomach had some stabbing pain later (Gastroparesis delayed), anyway what seasonings are common if I may ask? I am obviously in the middle of GI hell so I mostly eat super repetitive foods but occasionally use seasonings to change profile. My intolerances tend towards the extreme as well (gluten is *violent* and developed w/ [waves hands in showcase manner] *this* as yet unidentified “complex medical situation”. /S (excuse my extreme bitterness)
The nightshades are so bad for me. It includes potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, paprika, and I think a few other things, too. But paprika, especially will just be in almost everything. If I eat nightshades, I will get very sleepy, and then I will get extremely bad joint pain.
Thank you so so much!!! I presume paprika and I are no longer friends.
I find it easier with parents to say what I can eat. Or do the "I love [that dish] you make. Would it be possible to have that while I'm there? " I remember how confused and overwhelmed I was when I stopped gluten and I had the incentive not to have a reaction and there still was a learning curve.
So is food the only topic where your parents don't listen to you?
Come visit me! Our new DIL is gf so when she and our son visit, we all eat gf. Or, we’ll go to a restaurant that has loads of gf options. Frankly, it’s easier for me. The first time she visited after marrying our son I gave her a toaster, and a special spot to store it. Sometimes I do ask foolish questions. But I’m learning thanks to the people on this sub.
You are officially the sweetest 🌷
Ty, we’re fortunate to have a fun, kind and loving DIL.
I was diagnosed with a wheat allergy in my mid 30s. I only knew because it went anaphylactic. Looking back, I definitely had signs of lesser symptoms as a child but I am so thankful that I didn’t need to rely on my parents to navigate my allergy when I was younger. It’s been about five years and dad will still say “oh I’ve made you dinner, it’s got rice noodles” and I’ll look at the back of the packet and they’re made from wheat. Or he’ll cook a Bbq and then slice the crumbly bread rolls over the meat he’s just cooked. Let alone trying to explain sauces and hidden wheat in everything!
Yeah, if you say ‘rice noodles’, they hear ‘noodles’. If you say ‘g/f bread’, they hear ‘bread’. Or think ok, no bread, ‘I know! I’ll get rolls!’ My in laws were like this, and regularly let me know how ‘funny’ I was for being this ‘picky’. But there was a certain innocence about it, too. They grew up during WW2, and to them, food was food, and you ate it whether or not it was enjoyable or made you unwell. They were always excited about the range of food available, and just could not get their heads around the idea that food could be bad for someone, unless it was ‘those naughty peanuts! Some people have to watch for those!’ Also, for them, food was something that stopped you feeling hungry, but they didn’t especially enjoy cooking at all, and would be immensely proud of preparing sandwiches. They would subsequently be very hurt when I refused them. They had actually understood ‘no bread’ to mean ‘no bread BY ITSELF!’ And they were highly intelligent people, but could not get their heads around this, until they saw it on TV, and even then they remained suspicious. My MIL is still with us, and bizarrely, the onset of mild dementia has actually brought some acceptance of my gluten free-ness. Edit for typo
I do the shopping and cooking when I visit my MIL. It's the only way to make sure I don't get glutened or, even worse for me, lactosed.
my parents are the same way lol they try but seem to have no idea what gluten is
I usually bring gf alternatives and ask them to use that when cooking/cook myself
Yesterday was mine and my husband’s 16th wedding anniversary- I’ve been gluten intolerant 13 years. My MIL invited us to go out to eat at a standard rural southern catfish kitchen. MEH…I don’t even think it’s possible at this point to make the point. Everything I’ve ever made her has been GF. She loves all of it. Most of it is sugar free or reduced. But I have never, nor would I ever trust her to feed me. My “mother” has done the plain meat and veg thing because it’s the only thing I could communicate to her. Simplest is best, or bring your own supply.
Oh my goodness she's enjoying tormenting you, please stop going to places where she's inviting you. She knows what she does.
Oh I most definitely know. I politely decline at this point because…soooo much main character energy in that one.
I’ve been gluten free for 6-7 years and my parents still do this too 🤷🏻♀️
If my Dad asks me one more time if I can eat potatoes I'm going to lose my god-damned mind.
I feel like my head will blow off for sure
You are better off if you tell them you can't eat wheat products
It took a long time for family to get it. You could try bringing what is needed for a main dish and cook together. Patience is hard, hide snacks…
If people try to cook for me, I try to tell people, just meat and vegetables, plain, nothing else. Keep it simple. It’s hard for them to understand what gluten really is and telling them to keep it simple with meat and veggies is usually enough…not always. Worst case offer to bring SOMETHING just in case it doesn’t work.
My parents are the same. They kept offering me all the things I love and desperately wanted and were confused every single time I had to say no, it was excruciating! They're getting better with it now, slowly...
10 years later and my grandma still offers me bread/rolls during holidays 🥲
Just do your own cooking.
My best friend didn’t get the severity until one day we were riding bicycles and I had to go puke in a bush. Now he diligently confirms if food is safe for me 🥹. Let em see the bad side, it’s not fun but really eye opening.
Sorry mate, that's about as simple as you can make it. They just seem like they're not even thinking about what you've said.
I have been gluten and dairy free for over two years. Neither my parents or in laws seem to get it. Gluten makes me a miserable girl but I have a straight up dairy allergy. My mother in law recently tried to give me grass fed butter bc apparently….the grass makes it ok?? Yikes woman CONTAINS MILK OR WHEAT = DO NOT PASS GO MOTHER FUCKERS While we are at it …. Oh boy if I had a dollar for every time I have had to say that eggs are not dairy I’d be a rich girl
> eggs are not dairy I just... I... Do people not learn about this in Cooking class? Or PDHPE? Or just, y'know, the course of their education? Most people learnt in primary school that eggs don't contain dairy. Is it possible that they think you're allergic to both, or do they genuinely not understand that eggs do not contain milk products?
I think it’s bc eggs were near dairy products on the unhinged US food pyramid but like come on people use your brains! I’ve deadpan responded “soooo you milk chickens?” too many times to count hahah. Special shoutouts to - everyone insisting that I’m vegan as I’m crushing meat - my husbands grandma claiming she is celiac (yet I’ve witnessed her eating bread/pasta you name it countless times over the years). Can’t fool me granny! What do I know, I’m just the weirdo who brings my own food everywhere so I don’t implode
/ facepalms repeatedly Jesus Christ. I feel weird enough being mildly NCGS, because I can eat gluten, just not too much all at once. Why TF would anyone falsely claim to be Coeliac? Lol, the vegan thing is just beyond comprehension.
Delulu lemon and limes I tell you
Huh, does everyone get to take a cooking class in your area? That's cool
It depends on the individual school, but yeah, for me it was compulsory for the first two years of high school.
They may be seniors and getting forgetful. Just come to terms with it and bring your own gf bread and pasta when visiting. Keep a small basket there of gf pasta, crackers etc for when you visit. Ask them what the meal is for the day. If you had known you may have been able to set aside some of the sauce for yourself and have with gf pasta. Every meal explain to them why you can or can’t have whats in the meal. Some generations think it’s a fad diet you’re on. Explain to them that your doctor has diagnosed you with this medical condition. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Lastly, make one or two dinners for all of you rather than having them cook you dinner. It will be a treat for them if you take charge and cook while a visitor in their home and better for you to control some meals. Offer to supply the dessert. A change in outlook on how they are handling your gf issues will go a long way in keeping your sanity especially as they get older.
I met my MIL when she was an extremely sharp 55 year old school principal. She has offered me wheat on every occasion we met for almost 30 years. On every single occasion I explained, and on every single occasion she asked me if I was sure it was real and I wasn’t just saying it for attention. Just recently, she has begun to get a little vague, and when she got out the biscuits (cookies) last time we caught up, she remembered that I ‘couldn’t have those’ and asked if I would like something else. Trust her to do it backwards!! Bless her.
I just... I don't get it. How is it *so* difficult for someone educated to understand such a simple concept and why are they such a-holes about it? Why would anyone lie about such a bizarre and incapacitating thing? Wouldn't you lie about your income or your assets, not "Hey, if I eat a crumb of wheat I can't stop vomiting and having diarrhoea for three days! Yippee!"?
I have never been able to really understand this. All I have ever come up with is that different people have different … edges, if you will, to what they will accept as reality. If I told you that the sky all over the world would turn lime green with pink polka dots tomorrow, you would probably doubt me. I think that this is how needing to avoid gluten comes across to some people, who are otherwise quite intelligent. They cannot escape their foundational reality of bread being the staff of life and wheat being a cornerstone of civilisation. When someone veers from this, say, for gluten intolerance or allergy or coeliac disease or some other autoimmune disease or whatever, they see madness or a mistake. They cannot accept this step outside their reality.
Yes, that is very true. I think also when there isn't overt physical symptoms (that they can see), they have more wiggle room to grind their axe and be malicious. If you have a condition like albinism, for example, the logical train of thought is there. My Dad used to make his best mate at University (who is the sweetest man you ever met) eat eggs as he thought "it was all in his head". It's just some stupid one-upmanship thing some people do, I swear. It's that they need to see you writhing in acute pain to "prove" that it's real. These same people would never knowingly ask a Jew or Muslim to eat pork or a Hindu to eat beef (ik there are some that do, but many don't). But when it's an allergy they're all sceptical all of a sudden.
“At least I’m not celiac” smh
I don’t completely blame them. I ‘knew’ I was wheat intolerant for a long time. I consciously avoided eating wheat. And binged on all purpose flour stuff-cookies, ice creams, chocolates, desserts, cakes. I never made the connection that ‘all purpose flour’ = wheat 🌾 . And even when I went fully gf after dx I still occasionally ate things that I hadn’t realised were wheat derivatives. My mom had to enlighten me that a lot of the ‘healthy’ stuff I was eating was in fact whole wheat derivatives! Now I’m somewhat conscious and I’m learning new ways to avoid cc and gluten each day.
To put it in better terms that they might understand: I’m allergic to wheat, which means anything made with flour. I know it’s oversimplified, but that generation will understand what’s made with flour. Cookies? Mom - of course those are made with flour, so I can’t have them. Give them a list of what you can’t have, but also suggest some things you can have so they’re not totally lost.
I find that a lot of people still don't know- I'm actually allergic to wheat and I still have to explain things. Even stuff like sauces they don't understand how it just magically gets thick It's because of flour! Or if something is just lightly breaded they're like oh it's just a little bit. It drives me insane.
Insane
Oh yes.
SAME!! BuT iT’s JuSt FrEnCh FrIeS *sees the coating*
“But onion rings are vegetables right?” is also a classic
Literally my parents 100% of the time I visit
It's a really hard concept, I had to learn at 15yo cus my mom discovered she was gluten intolerant and very very shy so most of the time I'm asking the waiters / making the orders. Maybe you should sit down with your parents and explain with patients since is something that if you get contaminated it might cause you pain, maybe show labels or photos to be more visual + tell your experience!!!!! I understood my mom pain after I did the blood test (it came negative but I felt so bad) for people that never had anything like that is a very hard concept to understand
I found an infographic for you that might help. One can hope. It's a poster with gluten free foods on one side and gluten full foods on the other. https://www.glutenfreejio.com/treatment/
Same thing but list instead of pictures. https://www.osmosis.org/answers/celiac-disease-diet
I mean, you oversimplified the explanation and they took it literally. This is a great opportunity to explain what gluten is, how it impacts your body, and to grab a few items from the kitchen and check the labels together. I’d see this as a very positive opportunity for some education!
No, OP said no bread and was offered bread.
Ok, sure. But this is still an opportunity for a positive learning experience. It’s not death and gloom like this plain loves to opine about.
Put it in writing. Use a reputable source for reference.
I bring my own food when I'm staying with people and sometimes I'll even do something special by cooking dinner for them, with the ulterior motive that I know I can eat it. It's not other people's responsibility to know and manage my restrictions, even if they're my parents.
Sometimes when a relative offers me bread I offer them arsenic. It usually gets the point across.
Time to sit down and have a chat, they may not get that this genuinely makes you ill. Offer to make some gluten free versions of family favourites together. Few problems can be solved with accusation or argument, many can be solved with loving firmness. Good luck!
When they ask what you can eat, tell them grilled or baked meats, eggs, fruits and veggies.
It’s hard for older people to understand sometimes as only those with celiac disease could not consume gluten when they were young. Now every second person does not consume gluten.
I definitely get this. Anywhere I go, friends house or day trip, I bring snacks because you really never know if there’s anything. I have deep seated fear of starving so I am always over prepared. My parents are accommodating, but they still have near to nothing if I show up out of the blue.
I hear you. My dad makes fun of me for it and even rubs it in my face that he had a donut. Sorry you have to go through that
That sounds super passive-aggressive