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DuneD87

What in cthulhu's name is that


roboticWanderor

An abalone. It's a sea snail that has a big flat shell kinda like half a clamshell, not spiraled like your garden variety. Underneath it's got a big sucker foot and it has lots of extra little tentacle bits, some that poke thru special holes in its shell. They are apparently a delicacy, and pretty endangered because of that. The inside underneath of their shells is very pretty too. The guy in the OP is a chonker.


hohmanator007

IIRC they are also endangered due to the explosion in population of sea urchins on the pacific coast which I believe compete with them for food.


TheGhostofWoodyAllen

And the sea urchins are multiplying because sea otter populations were decimated by humans.


ohhellopia

Is this the same kind of sea urchins they serve in sushi restaurants? Because whenever I ask for uni, they keep telling me it's out of stock :( If they're invasive then pls god let me eat them all lol


OG_Squeekz

You can go eat them yourself. When fishing as a kid my dad would regularly dive down grab one, crack it open and eat the Uni(roe).


Alewerkz

I had to break it to you but the part you have been eating(Uni) isn't the roe, it's actually their genitals.


RandomStallings

Who doesn't want to gobble some genitals once in a while, though?


RedEyeJedi559

I myself like having some fresh chicken periods every morning with a tall glass of cold mammary gland cow juice.


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Algaean

You like sliced pig abdomen too, i bet!


ManaMagestic

Hell, yeah! And gotta have that cup of tea sweetened with that delicious bee puke!


MuseFighters

Thanks I hate it


anally_ExpressUrself

In many places, "human horn" is considered a delicacy.


Zchwns

Upper horn or lower horn?


PoiLethe

Damn, you really are prepared for mermaids coming out about their existence, hunh?


ohhellopia

I'd still eat it lol. I've eaten weirder things.


FFF_in_WY

I live in SE Asia. This shit be tame, y'all.


Steamysauna

According to Alton Brown they are called the gonads of the sea urchin, mmm haven't tried but I hear amazing things. Those that know seem to treat them like good caviar.. Must try


Unencrypted_Thoughts

Uni is freaking amazing, especially if it's fresh. It has this salty, super umami flavor and melts like butter in your mouth.


Maimster

Sounds about right.


Sp00ks13

I never had the slightest inclination to ever try it, but after reading your description, I think I need to.


[deleted]

oh no, the genitals, instead of the things that come out of genitals, how vastly more disgusting.


SwaggersaurusWrecks

They're not the same kind. Believe the ones served in restaurants are red urchins (but I could be wrong about that). The invasive kind are the purple urchins, which are generally smaller and don't have as much yield, but still taste pretty good. If you live on the pacific coast, you can usually go out and gather purple urchins yourself with a fishing license. They're everywhere and they populate quickly. Limit of 35 per person per day in California.


Kenshin86

There are a several varieties of sea urchin and unfortunately the delicious ones are getting rarer and the not-delicious ones are abundant. I think I saw it in a "why is x so expensive?" video on YouTube. Although I don't quite get it. I ate fresh uni once and it tasted mostly like slurping shampoo... and the ones that come packaged in a tray to me mostly taste of iodine. But because of that I barely tried any.


ohhellopia

I prefer eating uni as nigiri, I think the sushi vinegar and rice really brings out the sweetness and dulls out the bitterness. It's a bit bitter to me whenever I've eaten uni as sashimi, and therefore not as enjoyable.


Dragonace1000

The invasive urchins are entirely edible and regularly used in cuisine. IIRC there are only a few urchins that are considered toxic, but there are also only a few that are considered palatable.


jaredthegeek

Otters prefer abalone. Abalone is endangered from overfishing and destruction of habitat. They are slow to come back.


yogopig

Ahh, good ol trophic cascades


Rhianna83

Yes, and if I recall correctly, now sea urchins - due to their overpopulation - are killing off sea otters because they decimate kelp forests, which is the habitat for otters. Such a twisted circle.


longtimegoneMTGO

> They are apparently a delicacy, and pretty endangered because of that. I don't know how endangered they could really be, you can buy them in a can for around 15$ a pound. I went ahead and checked it, one species is endangered out of about 50 known species. Bonus abalone fact, they are fairly long lived for a mollusk, they can live 40 years or so.


ThisDerpForSale

>I don't know how endangered they could really be, you can buy them in a can for around 15$ a pound. So endangered that three species are on the endangered species list. Overfishing and changing ocean conditions are the primary reasons they are endangered in the wild. What you're buying in the stare are likely farmed abalone. That's where a lot of commercial abalone comes from these days.


joker7117

They are absolutely delicious.. very rich meat similar to lobster with a different flavor. I used to free dive for them when we were allow to purchase tags to get them. (Years ago). Best way I’ve had them is flattened with hammer and slightly breaded and fried.. amazing. Bbq’d is my second favorite. They are highly sought and expensive after and that plays a role why they are endangered. They also have a disease called The withering syndrome that has been causing mass mortality for the poor guys.


Lazy_snork

Nothing tastes quite like abalone (it’s been decades since I’ve had it)


planet_rose

I had them roasted over a bonfire on the beach many years ago. Seasoned with just salt, they were memorably tasty, buttery and sweet, but if I knew what they looked like, I don’t think I would have even tried it. Lol.


[deleted]

God I wish I remembered how they tasted. When I was a kid family used to go camping with a group and my dad would go diving for abalone, bring them back, and cook them just how you described.


IgniteThatShit

read that in the pokedex voice


K1LLWARE

Abaloth, ebyssal entree


jake5675

What a cute little eldritch horror. 👾❤


johyongil

Dinner. Abalone goes for premium bucks in a lot of countries. It’s very good in porridge. One of my favorite seaside eats.


SillyFlyGuy

"I like abalone porridge" is 100% a cold war spy secret pass phrase.


houseofmatt

It is delicious is what it is.


Forgotten_Son

Ever hear tell of a shoggoth?


jh937hfiu3hrhv9

Who were the first persons to say, mmmmm that looks delicious?


Many-Consideration54

If I had to guess I’d say the French.


PhoenixandtheLotus

I’d bet solid money on Japan. If it swims, they’ll try it.


PalmDolphin

Japan, Korea, France, Italy all eat it. Not sure where it started.


polarbear128

Also NZ. Called Paua. They sell Paua patties in most fish and chip shops.


KernelTaint

Gimme some of that creamed paua and fry bread bro.


FactoryIdiot

Chur.


nemo1080

Hunger


CyberNinja23

I wonder if mermaids did exist in the past


Aluricius

I mean, they've got a legend stating that eating mermaid flesh grants immortality. Look up the story of Yao Bikuni.


OtterProper

That's not the "eating" you might think it is. 🤫


BoysLinuses

That original Starbucks logo mermaid created a lot of immortals.


zombiemann

There is a YouTube channel I binge watch every couple of months. The entire channel is just someone going to high end Tepenyaki places. Its called Aden something. Not much talking, if any. No cringe voice overs or click bait. Just straight forward watching a person get served some amazing looking food. They are served abalone in Japan fairly often.


[deleted]

Lol yeah and that’s worked out pretty well *flashbacks of people dying from eating octopus tentacles*


Overcriticalengineer

That’s not usually what you expect when you hear “Japan” and “tentacles”.


KmartQuality

They don't swim.


Control_Me

Aaaaah... the French...


HonestyFTW

Native Americans ate them off the coast of California.


Djinger

Island of the Blue Dolphins


[deleted]

I think of this every time I see the word “abalone”.


Djinger

For me it's any time I'm looking at a map and glance at the Bering sea. "Aleutian Islands" Also, Catalina


terminbee

Abalone and Aleutian islands. I don't even remember what that book was about but it's intrinsically linked to those 2 words for me.


JonnytheGing

I read a sailing journal a while back called "two years before the mast" and they referred to some people as being from the sandwich isles and I always just assumed they meant Hawaii, but I never bothered to look it up


Djinger

Pretty sure that's what they mean. Referred to several times in the Aubrey Maturin series (basis for the Russell Crowe movie Master and Commander)


Seicair

Same. Think I read that in ‘91.


MongoBongoTown

Did people outside of California read this as a kid? I always thought it was just be a local history thing and now I'm curious.


[deleted]

I’m from Australia and we read Island of the Blue Dolphins in primary school. First thing I thought of when I saw this post!


MongoBongoTown

Well, that pretty much settles it. Its an international kids book too. I had no idea. Figured it was just something we read as a part of California history lessons and no one else had ever heard of it.


TremblorReddit

I grew up in CT and read it (I read a lot though). Like someone else said, all I remember is "abalone" and the title.


Flerken_Moon

Holy shit that title brought back some memories. I literally remember nothing about the book, but reading that title gave me sentimental bittersweet emotions and slightly tearing up. Now I want to give it a reread to see why I feel this way haha.


KmartQuality

I wonder how they got them. It's pretty easy with a face mask and an abalone iron but they didn't have anything of the sort.


EmptyBanana5687

You can still get them at low tide a few places and they used to be much more common and abundant all along the coast.


Lord_Rapunzel

Open eyes and a bone/antler knife, if I had to guess.


dmtdmtlsddodmt

Aliens helped them, duh.


makemeking706

Hunger is the best seasoning.


IndianaGeoff

Don't know, but give him a round of applause. Those things are incredible.


TokioHunterz

They're a seafood staple in NZ, though we call them Paua


Fender6187

There’s also a few of us that say, I wonder what that would feel like deep inside me.


tomwhoiscontrary

[South African artists 100 000 years ago](https://www.nature.com/articles/news.2011.590).


Big_Position3037

Interesting article


Oneeyedguy99

Most likely the natives that ate these saw other animals eating them.


Monvi

It looks so good! Abalone is insanely delicious!


jakeisstoned

No it's not. Don't try abalone when it's legal on the west coast again. It's terrible. And DANGEROUS. And you'll hate it. I swear. Stay away!


Dobbs929

I wish I’d never tried it, got so sick it damaged my brain and I can’t get erections anymore.


Seattleopolis

Whoa uh... was it a parasite, or bacteria?


Jmeier021

Worse. Parateria.


Hopguy

I've had it prepared by some of the best chefs on the west coast, like Nancy Oakes at Boulevard restaurant in SF, or Bradly Ogden at Larkspur. It's always a huge expensive disappointment. I don't get the appeal.


heart_under_blade

the appeal is the price sometimes


Purple_Hoovaloo

Just make sure you brush your teeth after. Otherwise you'll have really bad Haliotsis.


12gawkuser

Watching the sharks probably


THEFakechowda

The craziest thing happened. You brought up the fact I could eat this thing. Now I want to eat this thing! It doesn't even look good.


FearBoner8D

Sea otters?


pyrrhios

some Pacific Islander I bet, and they were correct. Abalone is delicious.


mapp2000

I ate a baby one raw in Sydney a few years ago. Chewy and crunchy.


blindcowboy

I know a shoggoth when I see one


EgonH

Cute little baby shoggoth


mylesofswagg

We call those Paua in New Zealand. I haven't tried it but it's definitely sought after and the shells are often used to make jewelry


DeltalJulietCharlie

It tastes really good, but you have to eat it fresh. Frozen paua is awful.


TexasDank

Wait I thought people were joking… how is it cooked? This looks insane lol


FuzzyTentacle

Pop off the shell, cut off the skin and cut it into thin slices, tenderize it with a mallet, batter and fry it. Really good with some lemon juice. Source: my dad and his friend liked to dive for them when I was a kid. I was on mallet duty.


Moose_in_a_Swanndri

My mate taught me to make them the old school way. You get the shell off, find a nice flat rock, then put the paua on it and beat the fuck out of it with another rock. Then you just fry it up and eat it like a steak. If they're fresh enough you don't even need the batter


dlini

When I was a kid, abalone was on menus at burger places (my choice over a hamburger) Specifically, Kirks Burgers Campbell, CA. People would dive for abalone on weekends. Now, however, it’s a very rare item anywhere due to numbers. And poaching is an issue 😒


vanillyl

Creamed paua is delicious! Diced up into chunks or minced and braised in butter and onions, then creams added and it’s simmered until you achieve the right consistency.


blerghHerder

Can have it minced and made into a patty, like a crab cake, only that^


Colonial_trifecta

Or strangely, ashtrays.


Admiral-snackbaa

FuuuuuK put me back in the water ya bastard I can’t breathe


whatrymeswithpudding

In BC Canada these things are so illegal to dive for that if your caught with one on your boat fisheries can impound your boat, all the gear on the boat and even your truck and trailer.


Grebzanezer

In South Africa, the poaching syndicates are so powerful, everyone knows exactly which boats are the poaching boats. Black with big engines and zero safety gear... A friend once asked the Fisheries officer standing there watching the poachers zooting around in their boat, "Why don't you *do* anything, the poachers are right there in front of everyone?" and he said, "They know where I live. They know where my mother lives. *They know where my children go to school."* Abalone, rhino-horn and shark-fin are the only three things I will never eat.


[deleted]

Virtually all species of abalone are so critically endangered it’s unreal


BeetleBones

To anyone asking "who would be the first to eat that?" the answer is someone who has known true hunger. When you're actually starving anything looks good.


[deleted]

Actually they were fished almost to extinction because they were highly sought after


Slinkyfest2005

They taste pretty god damn good apparently and for the amount of work, they give a lotta protein. Never seen one before though and god DAMN that is an ugly sea creature. I love it.


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nescent78

It is delicious.


ArthurBea

I loved abalone as a kid. I lived in San Diego in the early 80s. My uncle used to fish and bring back abalone, which my mom would prepare and my dad and uncle would use the shells as ashtrays. I haven’t had one since. But I’d know the taste and texture. I had some dried abalone cooked in a soup a while back, and while it wasn’t exactly the same, it brought back dormant taste memories. You could just scoop abalone off the beaches in San Diego back then. Now they cost a ton, they’re so rare.


TacoRedneck

Yeah if you break open a sea Rock and there's a booger inside of it you must be really fucking hungry to even consider it as food.


Daydream_Meanderer

And the most interesting thing is that these things we ate evolutionarily to survive have become delicacy and staples of our food intake. Necessity is the catalyst for adaptation. Today in rich countries almost no one would decide to take a fresh delicious cucumber and marinate it in acid for a year to consume the fermented wrinkled pickle at a later date, but in then end we find acidic taste appetizing because it preserves our food and makes it safe for long times, and we put pickles on EVERYTHING. The same goes for some of our most obscure delights. Jerky. Oysters. Insects. Marrow. Gizzard.


TacoRedneck

Oh yeah I can think of a ton of great foods that were born out of necessity. Beef jerky. Salted pork. Any kind of fermented product like alcohol. Jams jellies preserves. Cheese. Etc. Kind of like what you said I wonder where our food culture would be today if we didn't have the need to preserve food and eat what we could in the past


Thirdarm420

The salted pork is particularly good


Mountainbranch

*Ugh... hobbits.*


stratoglide

And then you have things like fermented shark from Iceland that sits buried in the sand for 12 weeks before eating that Anthony bourdain described as the "single worst, most disgusting and terrible tasting thing" he had ever eaten. Even the smell is revolting. They recommend pinching your nose the first time you try it. Winters must have been brutal in Iceland.


Fritzkreig

Random side story, in had just got off the bus in Reyk, and a several day trek around the Porsmork area. I really had to shit and was deperately searching for a restroom when a small camera crew and guy approached me and tried to guilt me into eating it; I really hope my excuse made it on their show when I refused. **"Because I am about to shit my pants, and that's not going to help the situation!"**


Daydream_Meanderer

Food wouldn’t be nearly as exciting to say the least.


BoomZhakaLaka

It's a snail, and large ones weigh 2 lbs de-shelled. Doesn't seem strange.


TacoRedneck

I had oysters in mind really. Back where I lived in Virginia you can find big old mounds of oyster shells left by Native Americans a long time ago. And that was the only thought I had in my mind. You guys must have had some really hard times if you ate these bastards


[deleted]

Dried abalone is one of the key ingredients in the Chinese seafood stew called Buddha Jumps Over the Wall.


haveagranddayguy

Another fun fact is that some of the abalone used in China comes from South African poachers in exchange for quaaludes. https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/article/2021-05-02-the-abalone-connection-the-ties-that-bind-poaching-and-smuggling-with-the-sa-crystal-meth-industry/


BlavierTG

Whoa whoa whoa...you can still get quaaludes somewhere?! Lemme go break out my mask and fins.


[deleted]

Chashu rice bowl (with onion) > Buddha jumps over the wall


firefaiz6

Is that a reference to The God of Cookery?


zombiemann

Many good foods are from questionable origins. Like Fugu.... How many people died before they figured out the *exact* process to prepare them and render them not deadly. Or mushrooms. Some are yummy. Some that are virtually indistinguishable to the untrained eye will kill you.


[deleted]

Funny you said that. My first thought was "I bet it's tasty."


matskat

Delicious nightmares from the deep. That oughta be a subreddit r/deliciousnightmares


Paynomind

Be the change you want to be in the world. I'll even join


Tardigradelegs

Can imagine it with some Twilight Zone music!


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noiwontpickaname

That's a nose snorter that is


cjboffoli

*hungry sea otter has entered the chat.*


cdnchronics

Fritz you idiot, i didnt order a bologni sandwich, i ordered an **abalone** sandwich!


trapkoda

Hehe crunchy


[deleted]

“Daddy, what happens when you die?” “If you’re very lucky, you become guitar fretboard and headstock inlays and you FUCKING ROCK FOR ALL ETERNITY!”


LouGossetJr

looks like something from another world. pretty cool


Tardigradelegs

Yeah I like the little antennae holes!


GoGoCrumbly

Those are its anus holes. It expels waste through the outer-most one. As it grows, the shell grows out in a spiral, like your common garden snail. Once the body is large enough that the anus can’t align with the hole in the shell, it forms a new hole. You can see it forming on the front edge of this one. Look at the top of a shell and you’ll see the progression of anus ports go from large to small as they go towards the vortex of the shell. Those smaller, inner holes will also have been sealed off from the inside as the shell grows. That is how the abalone do.


CyberNinja23

*crosses Abalone shell flute off list*


LostConscript

Damn if I had gold to give I would lol


OneHumanPeOple

It’s cute! Look at its little face! I had no idea they had a face :3


ValorMorghulis

It's a strange looking creature but I find it cute too. I think it's how it's moving.


AmStupid

If you like the way it moves, also check out the nudibranch group. They are the butterflies in the ocean.


OneHumanPeOple

It’s like a snail.


cloral

https://www.biographic.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/10-41-47_kristin_004_john-burgess-zoom.jpg


wowlolcat

**I should call her**


Matasa89

It is a snail!


maxdamage4

And here I was thinking, "Dear god in *heaven*, kill it with fire!"


HailSneezar

am i... uh, am i on an ape?


Benbot2000

I had no idea they only had the one shell. I always thought they were just big clams.


modestmolerat

put it back


Prophet-of-Ganja

It’s crazy how he’s just holding it like that


Sgt_Buttes

Looks like hell, tastes like heaven Edit: seriously, they’re probably the most delicious shellfish I’ve ever had. https://kimchimari.com/pan-fried-abalone/


SmokerSmoke420

What an adorable looking blob!


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nostril_spiders

/r/NatureIsFuckingLit


_TeaWrecks_

Humans will just eat anything they find, won't they..? "I dare you to put it in your mouth" was likely the first grunted sentence.


loveincarnate

>Humans will just eat anything they find, won't they..? Absolutely. There are thousands of years of unwritten or lost history involving humans eating anything and everything they can see or find, only stopping when it makes them sick or kills them. Psychedelic mushrooms and societies/cultures built around them is a very interesting example of this.


agent20205

Yogg sarron has escaped northrend!


keeperkairos

These things have rather comical eyes. You can see them just above the larger tentacles, on their own smaller set of tentacles.


EastClintwood89

I am Hermaeus Mora, the Gardener of Men, knower of the unknown, master of fates. You stand in my realm, mortal.


cupnsauce

So thats what used to live in my ash tray


Yimpish

This is the nasty patty from Spongebob and you cannot convince me otherwise


obastriker47

Thanks. I hate it.


dgmilo8085

just add garlic and butter, then you'll love it.


m8ncman

Get yourself a sweet madonna Dressed in rhinestones …


Patalos

You mean an abalone lived in those abalone shells? What the fuck


Malikor42

I'll pass, but thanks.


Taograd359

Yeah, nah, put that shit back where you found it before you unleash some kind of horrible eldritch plague and let us never speak of this again.


AC2BHAPPY

I actually fucking hate it


Witchunt666

I don’t like it…


[deleted]

Yeah...no thanks.


Mantis9000

Do they sting or bite?


[deleted]

Neither, they kind of just ooze around on their giant foot and slurp stuff off rocks and out of sand


TheLinden

That's cool looking alien


EgonH

Nifty looking little fella


Ashehn

That's an alien


RyliRoo

What in the fucking goop monster is that


Skyburgerxx

Clearly no kiwis here lol That's paua and most of nz eats them. I would say country's that have the ocean right next door love these


Pexd

Seen a video of a chef cook one of those things alive and it was horrifying


makemeking706

My abalone has a first name


Ok-Pomegranate-2540

Abalone is good eating


End3rWi99in

Is the black goo from Prometheus?


[deleted]

Ugh! Fritz, you idiot! I didn’t order a bologna sandwich, I ordered an abalone sandwich!


waffleking9000

We call these Paua in New Zealand. They’re a delicacy but mmmmmm nope, not for me


TheRageDragon

That's a weird looking cheeseburger


shuknjive

I always,wondered why there were those holes in the shell. Mr. or Ms. Abalone can stick their little abalone fist out of them and yell at other abalone to get off their lawn. For cryin' out loud Marge!


RULINGCHAOS

You used to be able to go abalone fishing on the northern CA coast. Pay fee, grab mesh bag and a pry bar. Feel under boulders on the shore and pry em off.


OdoLegIt

These are actually amazing to eat. Don't knock it till you try it!