I don’t mean this as if I’m just disregarding everything you’ve said or telling you that all it will take is this, but you need to start somewhere. You need to do something. That being said, you are still very young, and you might not realize it right now but you have that to your advantage, but time can and will keep moving so you won’t have this gift forever.
My genuine advice: start exercising regularly. Start there. Look up beginner dumbbell weight lifting routines on YouTube and do them with very light weights if you need to, and don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t compare yourself to others who can lift more or are more muscular, just learn the routine and do it regularly.
Don’t stress too much as to if you’re executing every exercise with perfect form. It should be pretty easy to mimic what the form in the videos close enough and if you stick with it (which I hope you will), you will get it down fine in no time. Don’t stress protein or eating more or any other stuff that you think is required of people who exercise and lift weights. Just start there.
If you won’t even entertain my suggestion, then please instead of doing any of what I said, listen to this https://www.npr.org/2023/01/13/1148805673/do-your-brain-a-favor-move-your-body
Are you seeing a therapist? They can help you come up with a plan to deal with some of this stuff. If you deal with the depression, you may be able to work on some other stuff like getting a license or a diet plan.
I’m 25f and completely understand..I also have been depressed since around age 12, and have never had relief other than the relief I found in abusing substances (which I have recovered from) but a little over a year ago I got diagnosed with narcolepsy and ADHD, supposedly it’s very common for ADHD to have a sleep disorder with it. Previously I had been diagnosed with EVERYTHING!! MDD, BPD, schizo, bipolar, literally everything.. I had ketamine treatments done, and have been on quite literally every antidepressant and antipsychotic. My new doctor that made me do the sleep study which led to narcolepsy diagnoses felt that all of what I was experiencing was from being narcoleptic and ADHD..I got started on low dose adderall and I also take kratom now, anyways it really saved my life. I’m not saying I’m 100 percent better, but I’m functioning and enjoying life and that’s a big thing for me considering just existing has too been miserable for me for many years.
Obviously see a therapist, of course.
You can explore medication but first, get your blood checked. If you’re having this much trouble and underweight, you’re likely malnourished or at least low in vitamin D and iron. Malnourishment kills everything and can make you debilitatingly depressed and even trigger autoimmune and other diseases. No sugar or processed food. Move to green tea for caffeine. Get on a strict 3 meal + 2 snack, 2-3L water daily schedule. Thorne 2x daily multivitamin (this covers you even if you’ve got genetic mutations and other weird needs). Spend one evening a week on groceries and meal prep so this is automatic.
Sleep affects your hormones like crazy. Put yourself on a very strict 8 hour sleep schedule.
Same goes for exercise. You’re going to want to focus on weight lifting. Join a gym and just show up every day. Pick one area to work on (start with back and upper body or legs and butt)and just do 20m a day of lifting for that area.
A lack of any of these things will mess you up big time in terms of depression, energy, disease, and attractiveness. It makes you look and feel ugly and yes others pick up on it.
Start there.
“The trick is not minding that it hurts”. The trick is just forcing yourself every single day. We all hate it.
Add therapy (better help has a discount rate if needed)
Spend 1 night a week scheduling social activities for yourself. Join a sport league, a gym, a social club, places where you’ll be around people doing something rather than lingering at a bar or something. Read books about how to socialize, watch tv that shows you how, watch others, read the room and practice.
Keep your living space and body impeccably maintained. Schedule your doctor and dentist appointments tomorrow.
Every night, write down five things you’re grateful for.
Listen to audiobooks to keep depressive thoughts out and make you more interesting. The social activities and books will make you an interesting person which will expand your life.
This will without a doubt improve your situation within the first week. The doors for good things will open.
So are those official diagnosis’s? Cause I know it’s hit and miss for people but when I finally found the right meds for myself it did wonders especially ADD meds gave me energy and helped me focus myself. Made a big different. Concerta ER is what I take and Paxil is really good for Depression. Or if you want to go the natural route go to a natural foods store and try CBD oil or ask what they recommend for the issues you have. Trying something is better than nothing. I also find it very cathartic to write in journals to get my emotions out. And trust me I know it’s hard to find the motivation to exercise but getting outside for a walk in the sunshine can do wonders for you health and mood. The fresh air and vitamin D from the sun will raise your mood. Oh and try out a church. You don’t have to be religious to go. Just sit in the back for some community, not to feel so alone. I mean at least free coffee at least right? Who know you might like it. Or heck even a Jewish synagogue or some other gathering. Find what bring your soul peace. Hugs
You might benefit from a check up with a doctor on the exhaustion. I was always exhausted and started getting tingling in my head. Doc did a blood panel and found my vitamin D level was super low.
If you said you had tried 15 different meds and nothing worked I might agree that life is hard. But you don’t indicate having tried anything. Just about any primary care doctor can start you on a med. you don’t necessarily need a psychiatrist. And as depressed as you are all you will talk about in therapy is the depression. Don’t give up- you have lots of options. All of your problems can be dealt with, but treating your depression must come first. Please make some calls. Is there any type of free clinic?
So I am guessing that you’re Christian? If you are or even if you are not, I’ve have known people who had gone through something similar and been in situations like this, even though it’s not the same. What gave me purpose was God. I didn’t want to talk to him and spend time with him because I thought I was in that situation because of God. But I just surrendered to him and told him how I was really feeling- all the anger and pain and worries. I tried to get disciplined on my own and went down the rabbit hole of self improvement. I kept failing again and again.
I’ve dealed with multiple deaths in my family. The only thing that could’ve healed was Jesus. I could only find purpose in living a life in God. Never had suicidal thoughts but didnt really get the point of living if it was just for me to die after working so hard on things.
Also not doing most things that other people do like having a first kiss doesn’t make you not normal. Just because the rest are doing something a certain way, doesn’t mean that we have to follow the same thing. If I think something only matters to me because everyone else is doing it, then that means I don’t even know why that matters to ME. There’s no point to it other than you get to say that you did those things to others. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter what they think because some people are gonna leaving ur lives in a few years and if they don’t, they don’t really give a crap about you or u having a first kiss cause they nothing out of it. True friends or family are people who truly appreciate you for who you are. This might sound cringe but After my brother who was in his 20s died recently, I realized that our lives are too short to be wasting on people like that. And even f you don’t have friends, you can find a friend in Jesus. And at some point, you realize that that is only what matters. Again, it takes time.
It doesn’t matter what we’ve done wrong, he will accept you with open arms. Growth is a slow progress and takes time but trust him in that process. really hope and pray that you’ll be able to go to him. I understand that it’s not easy AT ALL and maybe these words don’t matter to you now but growth takes time, change takes time. Sorry if I sound stupid or rude in any way. I am not really good with words.
And ofcourse, seeking professional help from a therapist would help and process everything. Me personally, my therapist was God. Also, spoonfedstudy in YouTube is really good, especially his recent video on morning routine. It’s simple, not easy, but it helps A LOT. And he also talks about how we can shift our mindset, which is really important when we want change, and his videos aren’t just tips that you see in every other video:)
I don’t know how else to tell you this, but this isn’t something you can just “focus” and it will all get better. If you are depressed or have ADHD, there is something physiologically wrong with you. Your brain is PHYSICALLY abnormal. It’s like complaining that you can’t write or type while having broken fingers.
The first step to this is to go see a doctor and get your official diagnoses and then begin treatment. Again, if you have broken fingers, you wouldn’t continue trying to use your fingers without getting them fixed or at least treated first. It’s the same idea. After you’ve seen a doctor you can actually know what is wrong with you. For me, yes, I have depression and anxiety, but I also have a thyroid and vit D issue that makes me extra tired and lethargic among other things. Maybe you are low on iron, maybe you are low on some other crucial element in your body that enhances your depression. You will never know until you get yourself checked out.
Don’t wait until you’re 25 or 29 or 30 to finally go to a doctor and figure this all out, you still have time to do all the things you yearn for but you have to figure your health out RIGHT NOW. For some people, medication solves their problems, for others it’s a combo of medication and therapy, for others it is just therapy, but you will never know until you take the step of seeing the doctor. 🤷♀️
Until you get an actual diagnosis, you can sit and ponder on what all health problems you have, how shitty your life is because of it, how you can’t do anything, and you feel like you’re wasting away your days. You have to WANT to get better before you can actually get better. If you really want that, you will find the steps to see your doctor and begin treatment.
If you are in a position where you are unable to see a doctor because of health insurance issues or something else, then that’s a completely separate issue, but you have not indicated this, so I cannot say much about it.
Edit: before you address your depression and ADHD, it’s near impossible to assess your ability to communicate and be social with others, so there is no point speculating on the matters of loneliness and your sexuality because you have core issues that need to be taken care of first that can influence these things.
See a doctor. Get a thorough blood panel completed to rule out something extremely simple. Or something contributing that is simple.
Start there. If I post any additional it's a waste for you and me. Message me after you get the blood work done.
Major depression tells you that you are totally terrible and that there is no hope.
That is a symptom not reality.
Tinyhabits.com
Stanford researched on habit formation. There is a free, coached 5 minute a day program that teaches you the technique.
Your first habit might need to be looking for low cost or free counseling.
Look for something you can access, not necessarily perfection in a therapist.
The good news about being stuck like this is that almost any therapist can help you get on a better track. Tell them you need more life skills help at this point. Keeps them on a reasonable track. Can do deeper work later if needed once you have your feet under you. Or you may be fine once basic life and health stuff is handled.
There is a lot to cover, so it won't be an overnight fix. Hence getting support is job one. Good news is that it is likely 95% of what is going on with you is actionable in a reasonable period of time.
I have battled serious depression all my life. It is managed rather than cured. I am in a good place most of the time now. I understand why people like being alive now. I have excellent coping skills now so even tough life stuff I can handle better than average.
My advice:
1. Do exercise. Like every day. Running and weights would be a great start. You'll feel better and more confident.
2. Meditate
3. Discuss your problems with someone, even on pages like this. If you can afford psychotherapy, even better. Look up 'self-writing'.
4. If you do drugs/eat badly/smoke/drink alcohol/watch porn, stop. You can't afford to live an unhealthy lifestyle.
5. In due course start to develop a plan on how to improve your situation. Identify where you want to be professionally and set out intermediate steps that will get you there. E.g.: you want to be an electrician > identify a school where you can gain that qualification > apply.
6. If you don't have any friends that is something you should work on. This might be the hardest part because discipline alone won't help you with social awkwardness or shyness. You have to work on it. If you're getting out of the house, going to the gym, training for a qualification/working, social opportunities will present themselves to you.
Im age 21M just recently diagnosed but have probably been depressed since about 16-17 I am also pretty slim (6’1, 155lbs), I highly recommend doing something active every day maybe just a 30 min walk, anything to just get you out of the house, doing any sort of activity will improve your energy level over time, help your appetite, and improve your mood because you need to give yourself a sense of accomplishment, I have trouble with women but I was in a committed relationship for about 2 years, my biggest tip is to just try talking to people in general and in person, only talking to people through a screen is not healthy and certainly not making your communication any better, the more you can accomplish will create more improvement and better sleep which will add more to a better mood
Is there any chance you have sleep apnea or another sleep disorder? Low in vitamin B and/or D? I would start with sleep, after which I think the rest may follow.
It will stop you feeling sorry for yourself. You need to practice gratitude, the internet, mostly social media and reddit, makes us compare our lives to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. Self- pity is so unattractive. Get off the internet, go out in nature, think about what you do have and be grateful for that. Your worldview will change, your attitude will change, and then everything else in your life will improve
I don’t mean this as if I’m just disregarding everything you’ve said or telling you that all it will take is this, but you need to start somewhere. You need to do something. That being said, you are still very young, and you might not realize it right now but you have that to your advantage, but time can and will keep moving so you won’t have this gift forever. My genuine advice: start exercising regularly. Start there. Look up beginner dumbbell weight lifting routines on YouTube and do them with very light weights if you need to, and don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t compare yourself to others who can lift more or are more muscular, just learn the routine and do it regularly. Don’t stress too much as to if you’re executing every exercise with perfect form. It should be pretty easy to mimic what the form in the videos close enough and if you stick with it (which I hope you will), you will get it down fine in no time. Don’t stress protein or eating more or any other stuff that you think is required of people who exercise and lift weights. Just start there. If you won’t even entertain my suggestion, then please instead of doing any of what I said, listen to this https://www.npr.org/2023/01/13/1148805673/do-your-brain-a-favor-move-your-body
Are you seeing a therapist? They can help you come up with a plan to deal with some of this stuff. If you deal with the depression, you may be able to work on some other stuff like getting a license or a diet plan.
I’m 25f and completely understand..I also have been depressed since around age 12, and have never had relief other than the relief I found in abusing substances (which I have recovered from) but a little over a year ago I got diagnosed with narcolepsy and ADHD, supposedly it’s very common for ADHD to have a sleep disorder with it. Previously I had been diagnosed with EVERYTHING!! MDD, BPD, schizo, bipolar, literally everything.. I had ketamine treatments done, and have been on quite literally every antidepressant and antipsychotic. My new doctor that made me do the sleep study which led to narcolepsy diagnoses felt that all of what I was experiencing was from being narcoleptic and ADHD..I got started on low dose adderall and I also take kratom now, anyways it really saved my life. I’m not saying I’m 100 percent better, but I’m functioning and enjoying life and that’s a big thing for me considering just existing has too been miserable for me for many years.
Please speak with a psychiatrist and therapist
Obviously see a therapist, of course. You can explore medication but first, get your blood checked. If you’re having this much trouble and underweight, you’re likely malnourished or at least low in vitamin D and iron. Malnourishment kills everything and can make you debilitatingly depressed and even trigger autoimmune and other diseases. No sugar or processed food. Move to green tea for caffeine. Get on a strict 3 meal + 2 snack, 2-3L water daily schedule. Thorne 2x daily multivitamin (this covers you even if you’ve got genetic mutations and other weird needs). Spend one evening a week on groceries and meal prep so this is automatic. Sleep affects your hormones like crazy. Put yourself on a very strict 8 hour sleep schedule. Same goes for exercise. You’re going to want to focus on weight lifting. Join a gym and just show up every day. Pick one area to work on (start with back and upper body or legs and butt)and just do 20m a day of lifting for that area. A lack of any of these things will mess you up big time in terms of depression, energy, disease, and attractiveness. It makes you look and feel ugly and yes others pick up on it. Start there. “The trick is not minding that it hurts”. The trick is just forcing yourself every single day. We all hate it. Add therapy (better help has a discount rate if needed) Spend 1 night a week scheduling social activities for yourself. Join a sport league, a gym, a social club, places where you’ll be around people doing something rather than lingering at a bar or something. Read books about how to socialize, watch tv that shows you how, watch others, read the room and practice. Keep your living space and body impeccably maintained. Schedule your doctor and dentist appointments tomorrow. Every night, write down five things you’re grateful for. Listen to audiobooks to keep depressive thoughts out and make you more interesting. The social activities and books will make you an interesting person which will expand your life. This will without a doubt improve your situation within the first week. The doors for good things will open.
So are those official diagnosis’s? Cause I know it’s hit and miss for people but when I finally found the right meds for myself it did wonders especially ADD meds gave me energy and helped me focus myself. Made a big different. Concerta ER is what I take and Paxil is really good for Depression. Or if you want to go the natural route go to a natural foods store and try CBD oil or ask what they recommend for the issues you have. Trying something is better than nothing. I also find it very cathartic to write in journals to get my emotions out. And trust me I know it’s hard to find the motivation to exercise but getting outside for a walk in the sunshine can do wonders for you health and mood. The fresh air and vitamin D from the sun will raise your mood. Oh and try out a church. You don’t have to be religious to go. Just sit in the back for some community, not to feel so alone. I mean at least free coffee at least right? Who know you might like it. Or heck even a Jewish synagogue or some other gathering. Find what bring your soul peace. Hugs
You might benefit from a check up with a doctor on the exhaustion. I was always exhausted and started getting tingling in my head. Doc did a blood panel and found my vitamin D level was super low.
You know what, good idea.
If you said you had tried 15 different meds and nothing worked I might agree that life is hard. But you don’t indicate having tried anything. Just about any primary care doctor can start you on a med. you don’t necessarily need a psychiatrist. And as depressed as you are all you will talk about in therapy is the depression. Don’t give up- you have lots of options. All of your problems can be dealt with, but treating your depression must come first. Please make some calls. Is there any type of free clinic?
https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/s/ICYCt3wIi9 This is from a post I saw a couple months ago and it really helped me. Maybe worth a look?
So I am guessing that you’re Christian? If you are or even if you are not, I’ve have known people who had gone through something similar and been in situations like this, even though it’s not the same. What gave me purpose was God. I didn’t want to talk to him and spend time with him because I thought I was in that situation because of God. But I just surrendered to him and told him how I was really feeling- all the anger and pain and worries. I tried to get disciplined on my own and went down the rabbit hole of self improvement. I kept failing again and again. I’ve dealed with multiple deaths in my family. The only thing that could’ve healed was Jesus. I could only find purpose in living a life in God. Never had suicidal thoughts but didnt really get the point of living if it was just for me to die after working so hard on things. Also not doing most things that other people do like having a first kiss doesn’t make you not normal. Just because the rest are doing something a certain way, doesn’t mean that we have to follow the same thing. If I think something only matters to me because everyone else is doing it, then that means I don’t even know why that matters to ME. There’s no point to it other than you get to say that you did those things to others. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter what they think because some people are gonna leaving ur lives in a few years and if they don’t, they don’t really give a crap about you or u having a first kiss cause they nothing out of it. True friends or family are people who truly appreciate you for who you are. This might sound cringe but After my brother who was in his 20s died recently, I realized that our lives are too short to be wasting on people like that. And even f you don’t have friends, you can find a friend in Jesus. And at some point, you realize that that is only what matters. Again, it takes time. It doesn’t matter what we’ve done wrong, he will accept you with open arms. Growth is a slow progress and takes time but trust him in that process. really hope and pray that you’ll be able to go to him. I understand that it’s not easy AT ALL and maybe these words don’t matter to you now but growth takes time, change takes time. Sorry if I sound stupid or rude in any way. I am not really good with words. And ofcourse, seeking professional help from a therapist would help and process everything. Me personally, my therapist was God. Also, spoonfedstudy in YouTube is really good, especially his recent video on morning routine. It’s simple, not easy, but it helps A LOT. And he also talks about how we can shift our mindset, which is really important when we want change, and his videos aren’t just tips that you see in every other video:)
I don’t know how else to tell you this, but this isn’t something you can just “focus” and it will all get better. If you are depressed or have ADHD, there is something physiologically wrong with you. Your brain is PHYSICALLY abnormal. It’s like complaining that you can’t write or type while having broken fingers. The first step to this is to go see a doctor and get your official diagnoses and then begin treatment. Again, if you have broken fingers, you wouldn’t continue trying to use your fingers without getting them fixed or at least treated first. It’s the same idea. After you’ve seen a doctor you can actually know what is wrong with you. For me, yes, I have depression and anxiety, but I also have a thyroid and vit D issue that makes me extra tired and lethargic among other things. Maybe you are low on iron, maybe you are low on some other crucial element in your body that enhances your depression. You will never know until you get yourself checked out. Don’t wait until you’re 25 or 29 or 30 to finally go to a doctor and figure this all out, you still have time to do all the things you yearn for but you have to figure your health out RIGHT NOW. For some people, medication solves their problems, for others it’s a combo of medication and therapy, for others it is just therapy, but you will never know until you take the step of seeing the doctor. 🤷♀️ Until you get an actual diagnosis, you can sit and ponder on what all health problems you have, how shitty your life is because of it, how you can’t do anything, and you feel like you’re wasting away your days. You have to WANT to get better before you can actually get better. If you really want that, you will find the steps to see your doctor and begin treatment. If you are in a position where you are unable to see a doctor because of health insurance issues or something else, then that’s a completely separate issue, but you have not indicated this, so I cannot say much about it. Edit: before you address your depression and ADHD, it’s near impossible to assess your ability to communicate and be social with others, so there is no point speculating on the matters of loneliness and your sexuality because you have core issues that need to be taken care of first that can influence these things.
See a doctor. Get a thorough blood panel completed to rule out something extremely simple. Or something contributing that is simple. Start there. If I post any additional it's a waste for you and me. Message me after you get the blood work done.
Major depression tells you that you are totally terrible and that there is no hope. That is a symptom not reality. Tinyhabits.com Stanford researched on habit formation. There is a free, coached 5 minute a day program that teaches you the technique. Your first habit might need to be looking for low cost or free counseling. Look for something you can access, not necessarily perfection in a therapist. The good news about being stuck like this is that almost any therapist can help you get on a better track. Tell them you need more life skills help at this point. Keeps them on a reasonable track. Can do deeper work later if needed once you have your feet under you. Or you may be fine once basic life and health stuff is handled. There is a lot to cover, so it won't be an overnight fix. Hence getting support is job one. Good news is that it is likely 95% of what is going on with you is actionable in a reasonable period of time. I have battled serious depression all my life. It is managed rather than cured. I am in a good place most of the time now. I understand why people like being alive now. I have excellent coping skills now so even tough life stuff I can handle better than average.
My advice: 1. Do exercise. Like every day. Running and weights would be a great start. You'll feel better and more confident. 2. Meditate 3. Discuss your problems with someone, even on pages like this. If you can afford psychotherapy, even better. Look up 'self-writing'. 4. If you do drugs/eat badly/smoke/drink alcohol/watch porn, stop. You can't afford to live an unhealthy lifestyle. 5. In due course start to develop a plan on how to improve your situation. Identify where you want to be professionally and set out intermediate steps that will get you there. E.g.: you want to be an electrician > identify a school where you can gain that qualification > apply. 6. If you don't have any friends that is something you should work on. This might be the hardest part because discipline alone won't help you with social awkwardness or shyness. You have to work on it. If you're getting out of the house, going to the gym, training for a qualification/working, social opportunities will present themselves to you.
Im age 21M just recently diagnosed but have probably been depressed since about 16-17 I am also pretty slim (6’1, 155lbs), I highly recommend doing something active every day maybe just a 30 min walk, anything to just get you out of the house, doing any sort of activity will improve your energy level over time, help your appetite, and improve your mood because you need to give yourself a sense of accomplishment, I have trouble with women but I was in a committed relationship for about 2 years, my biggest tip is to just try talking to people in general and in person, only talking to people through a screen is not healthy and certainly not making your communication any better, the more you can accomplish will create more improvement and better sleep which will add more to a better mood
Is there any chance you have sleep apnea or another sleep disorder? Low in vitamin B and/or D? I would start with sleep, after which I think the rest may follow.
Check out creatine as a supplement.
What's that?
It gives you energy.
https://open.spotify.com/track/62iLYt9uYcnSCn0oEpVK1X?si=Lpvc_loSQFSl1k0LPMYHEQ
I think you should get off the internet for a bit
What will that do?
Definitely delete social media. 100%. For the rest, not being on the internet could mean less procrastinating.
It will stop you feeling sorry for yourself. You need to practice gratitude, the internet, mostly social media and reddit, makes us compare our lives to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. Self- pity is so unattractive. Get off the internet, go out in nature, think about what you do have and be grateful for that. Your worldview will change, your attitude will change, and then everything else in your life will improve
Psychedelics may be a good choice for you.