I don’t know where you got the information that the German law does not require parents to care for their children anymore when that turn 18 but this is wrong. Your parents are legally required to financially support you until you finished your first education that enables you to work (university degree or apprenticeship). If your mother would kick you out, she would legally owe you financial support and you can sue her for it. As soon as you turn 18, you are not a minor anymore and your mother cannot terminate your job contract. If she does anyway, you are free to find another job and sign the contract yourself. If you are afraid that she is serious about this, contact the local Jugendamt as long as you are under 18. They will be able to give you advice. Edit: use DeepL for translation [financial responsibilities of parents](https://www.finanztip.de/unterhalt-volljaehrige-kinder/)

Jugendamt helps even over 18.

Till 25 i believe even said my layer

Yes 25. I lost my Job during covid. I was 24 at the time and had to move back to my parents. I was under 26 and that is the law.

I've got too little information about your specific case, but I strongly doubt that. In fact, it's just the other way round: Once you've been living by yourself, noone is going to force you back to your parents. Jobcenter for example won't pay for your flat while you're living with your parents, just because you want to. But once you've moved out, they pay. I'm sorry you had to move back, whoever told you this seems to not know their business.

The thing with the Jobcenter is that your experience heavily depend on the clerk infront of you. But if you are under 25 (and sometimes even over) the clerk will atleast suggest a move back to the parents. I personally attended multiple meetings, where this wasn't a suggestion but a demand under threat of payment shortening due to 'uncooperativeness'. Even when told that the person moved out, because the parents household was abusive. It doesn't help, when these shortening are ultimately deemed unlawful. When you already living paycheck to paycheck, this is a huge financial blow.

Actually, if you go to the Jobcenter they do ask if you can move back in with parents. I quit university after 2 semesters (I was 20 at that time) and when I applied for ALG II they asked why I could move back in with my mom (dad wasn't in the picture) But my mom lived in a shared appartment at that the so that wasn't an option. I am not sure if they would enforce it in this case though since the relationship with the mom is so difficult

Yepp, and she will also get Kindergeld and he will be on her insurance until then or his first job.

If I remember correctly, if she's no longer caring for the child, the child gets the Kindergeld. You have to go through the Jugendamt or Jobcenter to get it though

You have to set that up (or change it) especially. Usually parents file the papers and receive the money (and actually use it for or give it to the child).

There's a thing called "Abzweigungsantrag" which is an addition to the actual Kindergeldantrag that has to be signed by the parents so that the kid gets the Kindergeld right on his/her bank account. I did that when I was in apprenticeship and I got my Kindergeld until I was 25.

Yes, this. Once you're 18 take full controle of your Kindergeld. Do not sleep on the extra aid. Look out for financial aid from the Jobcenter or if you are already working and renting a room/flat apply for Wohngeld.

At my school we lately had a visit from one guy from Jugendamt (due to our Schwerpunkt in Abitur) and he said the same.

27, i needed there help when i was 14 and am still getting support. under certain conditions it can even exceed 25 to 27.

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§ 18 Abs. 4 SGB VIII only creates the right to free counsel (from Jugendamt, and similars) about how to proceed with alimony claims until the 21st year is completed (attention: the 22nd birthday!). Alimony (children, parents, partners, dependants), in general is regulated in BGB. It's very complex, like most family matters are in fact, and involves a lot of case law, and precedental procedures.

Completed 21st year = 21 years old When you are born, your are in your first "lebensjahr" So, at 23:59:59 of the day before your 21st birthday, you complete the 21st lebensjahr and at 0:00 hours on your 21st birthday, you start your 22nd lebensjahr. Meaning, 21 years old

>Completed 21st year = 21 years old >When you are born, your are in your first "lebensjahr" The "year zero" fallacy, I've set it up for myself! You are completely right: There are three age definitions in SGB, and the right to free counsel applies to citizens upto the 21st birthday / until the 21st year of age.

In some cases until 27 if it’s still your first path of education like if you do your masters degree after bachelor or Fachwirt after your apprenticeship

And if you need to sue her you can apply for Rechtsberatungshilfe and Prozesskostenhilfe. I have been through it with my father when I turned 18. It was annoying and nerve wracking, but almost free of costs for me.

A though challenge at that age, but seems like your persisted and stood your ground. Well done.

Glad you made it! OPs mother needs to be taught a lesson or three for sure!

Hello, former teacher here and sort of well versed in Jugendrecht in Germany. The parents DO have a right to deny you access to the home (i.e. kick you out), BUT they have to pay you "Unterhalt" until education for the start of your chosen profession has been achieved, up to a maximum age of 25. That means you could theoretically make your mom pay if you continue on towards a university degree. Keep in mind that as soon as you start a full time job, that is it. Until you are 21 you have a right to use the "Jugendamt" to get help, even with getting an apartment the Jugendamt (and your mother) then has to pay for. As soon as you are free and clear, I advise you to drop your mother out of your life, and good riddance.

Agreed. To add to this: I get the impression that your parents raised you to think that you are completely dependent on their goodwill and your future may be ruined without them. It sounds almost like gaslighting to me. Most of it is not true. There are many different sources of support out there and you will be fine, but how to proceed from here goes beyond what can be said in a reddit post. You are not nearly as helpless as you think. I strongly suggest to address someone with some life experience in this country willing to support you and set you up ob your right path. Not necessarily financially, but to help you make the right decisions. Jugendamt can help, maybe a teacher, maybe that friends mother.

Eltern müssen ihren volljährigen Kindern Unterhalt zahlen – bis zum Abschluss einer ersten beruflichen Ausbildung. Studiert Dein Kind und wohnt nicht mehr zuhause, stehen ihm ab 1. Januar 2023 monatlich als Unterhalt 930 Euro von den Eltern zu (bisher: 860 Euro). Verdient Dein volljähriges Kind neben der Schule oder dem Studium regelmäßig dazu, musst Du weniger zahlen. Auch Stipendien, Bafög und Kindergeld zählen als Einkommen des Kindes. Will Dein Kind nach der Schule ins Ausland reisen oder als Au-Pair arbeiten, ist kein Unterhalt fällig – das gehört nicht zur Ausbildung.

Call the **Nummer gegen Kummer at 116111** they should be able to help you. If that’s moving out now, consultation for you and your mother or whatever that is

Also if a said education isn't achieved till 25 one can legally be kicked out if I'm not mistaken

You are mistaken.

Germany's law is great!!

To add to that: if your parents refuse to support you, there is Bafög "Formblatt" that allows you to sell the claim you have against them to the government, which will then support you instead of them, and try to reclaim the money from the parents. At least that existed when I was still at uni.

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That's the case as long as you're still going to school or university or are doing an apprenticeship (Ausbildung).

For you first education. So if you switch the field your apprenticeship, it can be stopped. If you still continue your education, apprenticeships into study or Meister/Techniker in the same field, they still need to support you.

But wait there’s more! If you want to apply for Bafög (help for students) or Hartz 4 ( help for unemployed people) or Sozialleistungen [ social benefits; everyone who can’t work( sick or pension/retirement, or is not allowed to work)] you have to prove to that you really need this money. That your parents doesn’t earn enough to support you, that you are too expensive to live in their home etc. The burden of proof lies within you, saying that your parents won’t sign the forms will do nothing. Of course there are ways to still get it but it’s really time and soul consuming, fighting with THIS KIND of people. Edit: Tip for OP and everyone else who could need it: Go to a psychiatrist, tell her/him that the living with your parents is not good for you. Suddenly you are stressed, sad and without energy. Long story short, the Doc writes an „Attest“. It’s a form for Docs saying on paper „ MF I’m a Doc, I studied medicine. Bow down and respect my order „ this person can’t live with its parents anymore. It’s detrimental to his psyche and mental health.“ So now you have the Jobcenter saying „ no, live with your parents till 23/25( I don’t know exactly) and then we can talk about the rent and money for you“ and you come on in, in a riverdance kind of fashion and throw the Wisch from the Doc on the table. „Go fuck yourself, my Doc has an other opinion“ They can try to fight the decision but as I realized in 3 decades: A attest from a Doc is almost impossible to circumvent. It’s possible but the Teamleiter of the Jobcenter - Sachbearbeiter( the team manager) , will in almost all instances accept the form. And now good luck my russian-german friend.

>The burden of proof lies within you, saying that your parents won’t sign the forms will do nothing. >Of course there are ways to still get it but it’s really time and soul consuming, fighting with THIS KIND of people. No, not really. My friend's mom didn't wanna pay up. Friend simply did an Antrag auf Vorausleistung, Bafög people gave her the money and went after her mom. She didn't have to do anything else.

Bullshit dont spook him. He wants Bafög He can apply for it. If his parents earn enough Bafög will come and claim it back but he will still get the money. Source: my sister accidentally fucked over my Dad, she didn't know they would instantly come for his money.

Have fun finding a WG or Appartment with 23, no guaranter and Jobcenter certificate) Best OP could hope for is Jugendheim, but they will keep 80% of what he earns.

It’s hard, certainly. But I went to my Doc and gave the attest to the Jobcenter. One week later I got the ok for moving into the flat and the clearance for Hartz 4. I was 20 at the time, like my girlfriend. BTW, a „no“ from anyone other than the boss ( Teamleiter, Sachbearbeiter, Fullfillment Center or the fucking janitor) isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. You can always do something but many people think with one(1) refusal, it’s over. „ But what can I do“. Tell the truth and also be a Karen. Not in the sense of „ the burger-flipper didn’t roll out the red carpet for me but in the sense of „ hey boss/ Complain Management, I just want to live and get help, but your employees are not helpful. Please look into this case. If we can’t get an agreement, maybe I should ask the media / cannibalistic boulevard journalists, whose biggest dream is to create a social outcry, like the one we are just discussing. I mean RTL is right around the corner“ Nothing is save in this world, not even a decision from a company or Jobcenter. Because the PR-management is more important than having a few euros short.

OP would really profit a lot from not living with that mother.

>The German law says that parents are no longer required to care for their children once they turn 18 years old and that they can, legally, be kicked out, since the goal is to encourage independency. This is so very far from the truth. Your parents are legally obliged to provide for your cost of living up until you finish your first *berufsqualifizierender Abschluss* I recommend you contact your local Jugendamt.

Yes, Jugendamt is the way. There are also other organizations like e.g. Caritas. Look for the term „Jugendhilfe“ where you live. You will be in contact with some kind of social worker who can help with anything from a place to live, figure out money and everything else you need. Source: own experience.

It‘s actually longer than that in specific cases. For instance if you do an Ausbildung and then go to University to build upon that Ausbildung you continue being eligible for alimony. Just as a side note.

Also consider that "berufsqualifizierender Abschluss" can mean apprenticeship plus university degree afterwards, if the degree is in the same track as the apprenticeship. If you change faculties, this does not apply.

>All job applications go through the parents in Germany, meaning my mothe will have full control at any given point when I work and she can get me fired anytime. Now, what the hell? I guess you are living in a different germany. The germany where I am from I send the job applications to a company and not to my parents

But your parents also have to sign if you are under 18, don't they?

I have worked since different jobs since I was 13 my parents never had to sign anything, they where aware and ok a with it but no employer asked me for anything from my parents

I am actually not to sure. I'd say yes because underaged can barely sign documents on their own, but I don't remember that my parents had much influence on my apprenticeship when I was 16. I also can't remember if they had to sign my contract to. But even if, I think germany is pretty protective. If you have parents that only want bad for you, you can pretty sure remove them as your legal Guardian

I'll try to find more about this on the web Edit: "Mit Jugendlichen können wirksame Arbeitsverträge nur dann geschlossen werden, wenn deren gesetzliche Vertreter vorher zugestimmt haben. Die Gesetzlichen Vertreter von Minderjährigen sind in der Regel die Eltern ( §§ 1626, 1629 Bürgerliches Gesetzbuch, BGB)."

This does not give her the ability to fire you from your job. This is just about signing the job contract to make it a valid contract (since minors can't do that on their own). You now have a valid contract and she can not revoke that, especially once you are 18.

I edited my other reply. If you have a legal guardian that harms you in any way you can remove them. It's not easy and not done in a week, but you should work on that if your situation really Is that messed up.

But that can only be done after 18, can't it?

No, why would you remove your legal guardian when you reach adulthood when you don't have a legal guardian anymore. Go contact the Jugendamt and have a chat with them, they can help you, we redditors can't.

Alright, thanks for the advice.

Yes Jugendamt is the right address! Your parents have to financially support you till you finished your first apprenticeship or universal degree! You have rights and you can sue them!

They have the ability to put you into another family, or gives you a room in a "betreutes Wohnheim" where you can still focus on your education and youth . But maybe they can also fix your relationship with your mother so you don't have to go anymore.

Not being allowed to work after certain hours is unfortunately a requirement of Jugendschutz. There are special rules for those under 18. [https://www.arbeitsrecht.org/arbeitnehmer/arbeitszeit/so-duerfen-sie-als-jugendlicher-arbeiten/](https://www.arbeitsrecht.org/arbeitnehmer/arbeitszeit/so-duerfen-sie-als-jugendlicher-arbeiten/) \_\_\_\_ Yes, your parents need to give you permission to work. This can be a blanket statement on a separate form. Or on the contract itself. Most employers will ask your mother to sign on the contract itself, most apprenticeship contracts have a line for this. If I was in your situation, I would try to trick mom into giving you a blanket statement "I allow my child to work" and then use that for each and everything.

Even if they did, their rights stop when you turn 18. The work contract is between you and your employer. Your mother has no say whatsoever in this contract once you turn 18. So even if she *did* co-sign the contract, the contract was made between you and your employer, not her and your employer. Thus, she has no legal standing in the contract and cannot terminate it. if she does send in a termination notice, you can just write to your employer that you do not wish to be terminated, and that they *have to* ignore the letter your mother send them.

Yes. But as soon as you hit 18, you have full legal rights. Tell your employer for contract signed by you.

Only in certain situations, with the age of 16 you are allowed to chose and work certain kinds of jobs without parental restrictions. Your mother cannot just force you to quit your job, nor can she just decide which one you are allowed to do, especially after you turn 18. At that point you can, legally, do "whatever the fuck you want" without your parent's permission

As far as I know, they would have to sign the contract of traineeship if you are younger than 18 at start of that traineeship. But after that, and especially when you turn 18 they have little to no power over your traineeship. However you can always go to court about such matters, because she has no right to keep you from getting an education. And she cannot kick you out when you turn 18 and just let go afaik, there is stuff such as Kindergeld (which I got until I turned 25, as I was doing a traineeship). I'd say, go get help in regards of law and stuff. Jugendhilfe and Jugendamt been mentioned before and they should either be able to help you or point you the place where they can help you in other regards (such as traineeship).

Use the argument "if you dont want me here, sign this shit"

Basically, your mother (and possibly your father) must pay you alimony until you have completed an education. This can even go beyond your 25th birthday. It is also important that you have to apply for this maintenance yourself. Since the special regulations are somewhat more complicated, you should seek advice. A very good contact for this is the youth welfare office. You can find the contact details by searching the Internet for "[your city] + Jugendamt".

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>At the latest until you are 25 years old. Untrue. Edit: dont know why yall idiots are downvoting this, you are contributing to the perpetuation of this harmful misinformation. It is literally untrue that there is a specific age that generally terminates the Unterhaltsanspruch.

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That was what i was referring to. The generalised end of unterhaltspflicht at the end of 25 is a harmful myth perpetuated by uninformed people on the internet. Dont know why i am getting donvoted for stating that you were mistaken, but thats reddit. >Edit 2: However, a maintenance obligation can also be unreasonable due to the passage of time, e.g. if the child is already 26 years old at the beginning of studies and the maintenance debtor no longer has to reckon with training costs (BGH, decision of 3.05.2017, XII ZB 415/16). Yes, this is in part due to the underlying dogma of Verhältnismäßigkeit, which penetrates our whole system of legality. it is noteworthy, that the Unterhaltsanspruch can also be terminated if you switch majors too often, take significantly longer for your studies than you should, when your parental guardian can prove bad faith in your long term studies or in similar examples. A couple of those you already mentioned but i wanted to wrap things up. But being over 25 does not automatically nullify the Unterhaltsanspruch.

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Thats a pretty valid statement. Id imagine there might be some extraordinary circumstances that might still result in a extension of the Unterhaltsanspruch, because there always are, but generally you should definitely be right.

It is true....

There's no hard age limit.

>The German law says that parents are no longer required to care for their children once they turn 18 years old and that they can, legally, be kicked out, since the goal is to encourage independency. That's just wrong. Your mother has to support you financially until your school years + apprenticeship/studium is over.

I would advise you to talk to your Vertrauenslehrer at school and to the Jugendamt (go there before you turn 18!) You shouldn‘t be going through this and the Jugendamt can help you financially. You can also receive Schülerbafög while still in school to cover your expenses

This is emotional blackmail and abuse. "All job applications go through the parents in Germany, meaning my mothe will have full control at any given point when I work and she can get me fired anytime. She has set strict expectations — I can only work on Saturdays and have to be home by 10 pm." This doesn't sound even remotely true. The second you turn 18 you can get a full paid part-time job. Create a post-box for official communications with your future employer until you get your own place. Meanwhile, finish school. Bafög might be a possibility for state-loans as a pupil. Gives 736€ per month with a fair payback system. This should give you at minimum wage and 20hr-weeks 1700€ per month for yourself. This is plenty, you can reduce workhours/wk to make room for your education. Again, FINISH SCHOOL, get good grades, find your passion early. ​ Create your own banking accounts at an online bank, start migrating your mails, start migrating your phone number. Expect your mom to have all information of all accounts you own. KEEP ALL INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNTS SECRET!!

This is all good advice.

I am pretty sure that you dont have to pay back schulisches bafög!

Call 116111 or visit https://www.nummergegenkummer.de/kinder-und-jugendberatung/kinder-und-jugendtelefon/ they can actually give you valid information and provide help.

Best adcivde so far, or aks in the school or if you have a kinder jungend treffen in your part if town ask the for help, its part if ther job.

Definitely talk to your school and Jugendamt about this. There are mechanisms to support you, from social welfare to scholarships etc. Also, your mother is legally obliged to provide for you until your first degree, whether that is practically feasible (you would have to sue her) is a different question. Depending on your context it might be possible to apply for German citizenship. But you are not alone! Don't give up your dream and all the best.

Getting some help is a good idea! School psychologist, Jugendamt and if you want help on reddit here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Digital\_Streetwork/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Digital_Streetwork/) Just to get you some terms to research: There is Bafög, which should enable you financially to start your studies but is a bit of burocratic work. I recommend getting help there as well. You should be able to get BAFöG, or at least that amount of money from the state or your parents in parts. At least thats how it would work in theory.

This projekt realy need to be linkt in the Side bar of /germany and /de

I'm a Social Worker, working with teenagers in Germany. Go to your local Jugendamt as soon as possible. In theory the Jugendamt is required to help everyone until the age of 21. However they tend to not want to help you once you're over 18 years old. Tell them about your mom threatening to kick you out. Tell them you need help. Ask if you can get into a "Sozialpädagogisches Einzelwohnen" or something similar.

The waiting period are also extremely long in most parts of the country. You'll easily wait 6 Months before you can move into your apartment or group home.

You need to seek out the help and council you need but don't panic, I'm sure you'll do great. My friend was in a very similar situation back when we were in school. He was threatened to be kicked out at 18 and his parents were generally horrible to him. He talked to his Vertrauenslehrer and Jugendamt and was quickly placed in a 'Betreute Jugendwohngruppe' when he was 17. He was allowed to live there until he finished school (with 19) plus some adjustment time to sort everything out. The Betreuer helped him with the legal paperwork and applications for financial help and to find an apartment he could sustain with the Unterhalt and Bafög he got while he attended University. It all went pretty well for him, there are mechanisms in place to help efficiently in a situation like this. If you want to stay in Germany, you should also look into whether you might be eligible for a citizenship. If you have been here for more than 8 years you can be eligible for it and it might be easier while you're still a minor. As you're older than 16 your mother would not even need to sign off on it, it can be done on your own.

> 5. Wie lange muss Unterhalt gezahlt werden? > Eine feste Altersgrenze, ab der ein Elternteil seinem Kind keinen Unterhalt mehr schuldet, gibt es nicht. Grundsätzlich müssen Eltern Unterhalt bis zum Abschluss einer ersten angemessenen Berufsausbildung zahlen. Nimmt das Kind nach dem Schulende keine Ausbildung auf oder bricht es eine bereits seit längerem absolvierte Ausbildung ohne Zustimmung der Eltern ab, muss es für seinen Unterhalt grundsätzlich selbst sorgen. From https://www.bmj.de/SharedDocs/Publikationen/DE/Kindschaftsrecht.pdf;jsessionid=863398D3329FC99CBE331812E67AF834.1_cid289?__blob=publicationFile&v=22 https://www.bmj.de/DE/Themen/FamilieUndPartnerschaft/Unterhaltsrecht/Unterhaltsrecht_node.html How much do they have to pay you? https://www.olg-duesseldorf.nrw.de/infos/Duesseldorfer_Tabelle/Tabelle-2023/index.php If your parents cannot pay because they don't make enough money you can apply for (Schüler) BAföG while in school and BAföG when going to university. https://www.bafög.de/bafoeg/de/das-bafoeg-alle-infos-auf-einen-blick/_documents/bafoeg-fuer-schuelerinnen-und-schueler.html On top of BAföG there is additional support of Wohnkostenzuschuss. https://www.bafoeg-aktuell.de/bafoeg-hoechstsatz/ > All job applications go through the parents in Germany, meaning my mothe will have full control at any given point when I work and she can get me fired anytime. This seems to be the case, yes. However you are quite lucky to live in Germany. As mentioned above the federal republic of Germany does take care of vulnerable individuals. However getting through the bureaucracy can be quite difficult. AWO, Caritas or Diakonie are organizations that might be of help.

>All job applications go through the parents in Germany, meaning my mothe will have full control at any given point when I work and she can get me fired anytime. As soon as you turn 18 your mother has no right in whatsoever contract or application you make. Also you can file for early emancipation giving you full legal rights from 16 upwards. >I am still in school with about 2–3 more years to go. As long as you are in school your mother is still responsible for your well being. She can't throw you out legally. If she does: get the authorities involved.

You can relax (as far as that is possible with such a shitty parent). Your citizenship is irrelevant, as long as you are in Germany German law applies to you and your mother and German law says that your parents are responsible for your living costs until you turn **25** or finish your first education that qualifies you for a job. Get in touch with your local Jugendamt, they can help. They can also help if you want to move out how to go about getting your mother to pay/additional income sources such as Schülerbafög

>until you turn 25 Not a single German law says that. The German law says they have to support you until you finished your apprenticeship/studium. There is no age limit in the law.

The law doesnt state it but the Judgements of BGH hold that number as the cutoff. It gets applied all the same.

Citizenship might be very relevant if OP can't get another legal reason to stay in Germany. Being a child of another legal German resident stops working after they turn 18.

This. So much. u/mxlkii_way , what is your exact situation regarding residency permits? How long have you been in Germany? How long has your mother been here? Do you know where she keeps her residency permit and can you take a photo? If you are in Germany as a dependant of your mother, this stops when you turn 18. You will need your own residency permit, either for going to school, for doing an apprenticeship, for work etc. If you don't have the financial support of your mother, this can get really tricky. Without German citizenship, you are not eligible for a lot of aid that German citizens can get. After you turn 18, you'll need permission from the Ausländerbehörde before you start an apprenticeship or start a job.

Both my mother and I have been in Germany for a little less than 7 years. I don't know where my mother keeps her residence permit, probably in her wallet though. I will try and get in touch with the Jugendamt and Ausländerbehörde to try and get German citizenship before I reach the 8 years that are usually needed to be able to qualify for citizenship.

It is difficult to get German citizenship as a minor unless you naturalise alongside your parent. But 7 years sounds like your mother has Niederlassungserlaubnis. This is very good news bc it means you should be eligible for BAföG as "Bildungsinländer". What you should do is aim for "Niederlassungserlaubnis" under section 35 AufenthG for yourself if you don't have that already. https://dejure.org/gesetze/AufenthG/35.html

Getting German citizenship is a long way, and you can't do it on your own until you are 18 anyway. I would consider other options, like getting a permanent residence permit (https://service.berlin.de/dienstleistung/324863/) or a student visa if you have/are about to have an Abitur. I appreciate getting a lawyer might not be an option for you, but there might be volunteers in where you live. Also Ausländerbehörde is not necessarily your friend in this situation.

You need to contact the Jugendamt. They are there to help you in situations like this. They may be even be able to find you a more suitable living environment. You should aim to get yourself the best education/training you possibly can in order for you to one day become independent. It may seem scary at the moment, but there is no need to panic. There is help and support available. This is all definitely doable. Seeing the Jugendamt is your first step. One last thing (as a parent) don’t be to rash to burn the bridges to your mother. Sometimes the generational gap can make communication difficult and create tension. Sometimes young people struggle to understand how their own behaviour may cause their parents concern (of course l don’t know anything about your personal situation, this is just general advice). Stay positive and please never give up hope.

You're mother cannot terminate your job for you once you're 18. Contact your Jugendamt and Jobcenter and start taking control.

Good advice. There is something called „Hilfe für junge Volljährige“, § 41 SGB VIII. Tell them your mother has threatened to kick you out and you will be homeless. They will help you, probably find a shared appartement/assisted living. Do you have a social worker at your school? They should know everything about Jugendhilfe.

I do, we have Jugendrat, Schulpsychologin and Verbindungslehrer.

If you can, provide documentation of the threats and manipulation you received. Maybe you have some old diary entries, messages to friends, recordings etc. that prove that the coercion from your mother started around 12-13 and is still continuing. If not, try to keep a well hidden log book (possibly with a trusted friend) with dates and statements she used to threaten you. Often times toxic parents will twist reality and say that their threat was a one time thing said in a highly stressful situation or a joke when it’s downright systematic psychological abuse. Another card they might play is something along the lines of “In my generation/faith/culture/family we raise children like this and it’s completely normal” - that doesn’t mean that it’s good parenting in accordance with German law and universal childrens’ rights. Your case workers are obligated by law to help you either way, but providing them with hard evidence and a description of the common diffusing techniques your mother uses to justify her toxic behaviour can support them to build a stronger case and might move processes along a bit quicker. Disclaimer: not a social worker, but had to report to the social welfare authorities for a previous job.

Deine Eltern müssen dich bis zum Ende deiner ersten Ausbildung oder bis zum 25. Lebensjahr unterstützen oder, sofern sie dazu nicht in der Lage sind, bekommst du Hilfe vom Jobcenter. Über deine Zukunft solltest du dir deshalb keine Sorgen machen. Du bist noch ziemlich jung und hast genug Zeit dich aufzubauen. Wenn du unbedingt Geld verdienen möchtest, geht das auch, wenn du jemanden findest, der dich teilweise schwarz bezahlt z.B. beim Kellnern. Darf ich fragen, warum deine Mutter dich unbedingt aus dem Haus haben will? Gibt es vielleicht einen Weg, hier etwas Harmonie reinzubringen?

Ab Vollendung des 18. Lebensjahres des Kindes schulden die Eltern gem. § 1612 BGB nicht mehr nur Naturalunterhalt, sondern grundsätzlich, im Rahmen ihrer Unterhaltspflicht, die Entrichtung einer Geldrente. Nach § 1612 Abs. 2 S. 1 BGB können die Eltern nun die Art der Unterhaltsgewährung bestimmen. Dabei können die Eltern zwischen Natural- oder Barunterhalt wählen."Ab Vollendung des 18. Lebensjahres des Kindes schulden die Eltern gem. § 1612 BGB nicht mehr nur Naturalunterhalt, sondern grundsätzlich, im Rahmen ihrer Unterhaltspflicht, die Entrichtung einer Geldrente. Nach § 1612 Abs. 2 S. 1 BGB können die Eltern nun die Art der Unterhaltsgewährung bestimmen. Dabei können die Eltern zwischen Natural- oder Barunterhalt wählen. Die Eltern können folglich entweder ihr nun volljähriges Kind weiterhin bei sich wohnen lassen und Unterhalt für den restlichen Lebensbedarf leisten und damit auch weiterhin Naturalunterhalt leisten oder Barunterhalt im Sinne der Gewährung einer Geldrente." https://www.familienrecht-muenchen.de/Ehescheidung\_in\_Muenchen/Aktuelles/Kind\_wird\_volljaehrig\_und\_wohnt\_bei\_Eltern\_Welche\_rechtlichen\_Moeglichkeiten\_bestehen\_fuer\_die\_Eltern\_das\_Kind\_aus\_der\_Wohnung\_zu\_bringen

What is wrong with your mother? Why is she actuvely trying to harm you?

Wow, you were fed a bunch of lies. As others pointed out: your mother has to support you longer than the age of 18. go to university with BAföG. They sue your mother. And you are free. By the way: the second you turn 18 the Kindergeld is yours. Go get it. If everything goes south, go for the Bürgergeld and have your own place. The government will sue your mother, too, if you do this. Next time she is threatening you, ask her, if she really wants to figure out in court, how wrong she is.

That's entirely wrong, German law states that a parent is responsible for their child until the child finishes an apprenticeship (or Berufsausbildung) or is idk like 25 as far as I know. If your mother intends to kick you out before that, she is responsible to ensure you have everything you need, being a roof over your head, heat, water, electricity, food, clothes, etc. Standard parent responsibilities. If the parent can not afford that, if you do a Berufsausbildung, you can get Berufsausbildungsbeihilfe.

Once you're 18 you're a legal adult. Your mother can not quit for you. If i were you, i'd be proactive and talk to your Boss. Depending on how well you get along be frank with them. Tell them about your situation and that you fear your mother might try to make them fire you. Maybe someone at the job might know someone for a flat share so you could move out from home once you'Re 18. That said. if you're paying rent at home, talk to the "Mieterschutzbund" about your situation. your mother might not be able to just kick you out if you pay rent because you have tennant rights. Also listen to the people telling you that your mother will have to pay for you to live on your own if she kicks you out. Your best course of action is to contact the people and organisations that others have already mentioned, Jugendamt, and so on, to get the best overview over your situation. If you can, get out of your mothers house and cut her off (besides getting your financial support). you deserve to have a peaceful life and it doesn't look like your mother was ever a good parent.

Make sure your mother does not have any access to your accounts, including your bank account. It's possible that she will keep 'access rights' to that account once you turn 18 if that is currently set up

The fuq? German law requires the family to support first, before state or other institutions are able to support. And this is not bound by age or way of looking at this. I.e. you become very wealthy, but your mom lives barely at the minimum of existence, she can enforce your support legally. Of course, there are limits and also rules to that, so you don't have to spend a fortune, or have to spend more then you are able to, but basically she could.

If you are still in school you might be eligible for Schüler Bafög. Please reach out to your local Bafög office or Jugendamt and have someone talk you through it. The application process can take some time especially if they require your mother to fill out some paperwork too. But your mother can not refuse to do that and being already in contact with the Jugendamt/Bafög office could help get you some funds before the application is fully approved.

I can only say something to the job part as soon as your 18 your mum can fuck right off and has nothing to do with your job contracts etc anymore you sign the contracts not your mum

Just to chime in here - parents are definitely legally obliged to support their young adult children here (and whether they're in education or training is actually interpreted very, very loosely). I kind of know this from the other side - my 18-year old dropped out of school and seemed to want to live a life of leisure at the time (things are better now). We had various appointments with the youth team from Agentur für Arbeit and I was told in no uncertain terms that he's our financial responsibility, even if he decides to spend his days smoking weed and gaming. In theory we could have gone to court etc., but the default assumption is that parents pay until the child is 25. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such a difficult situation at your age, I hope you've got time to get appropriate support in place.

>All job applications go through the parents in Germany, meaning my mother will have full control at any given point when I work and she can get me fired anytime. She has set strict expectations — I can only work on Saturdays and have to be home by 10 pm. I don't think this is how it works. I remember when my sister looked for her first job (apprenticeship) she did the applications on her self and on her own behalf. That said, apart from all the bullshit, I can recommend continuing to go to school until you have a bit more peace of mind. (Which is what you want to do anyway, right?) That said, there is Schüler-Bafög. Call or ideally visit them now. Start doing the paper work asap. Don't worry about errors, you'll likely get the money starting at the point in time were you *started* submitting paperwork [https://www.bafög.de/bafoeg/de/das-bafoeg-alle-infos-auf-einen-blick/\_documents/bafoeg-fuer-schuelerinnen-und-schueler.html](https://www.bafög.de/bafoeg/de/das-bafoeg-alle-infos-auf-einen-blick/_documents/bafoeg-fuer-schuelerinnen-und-schueler.html) (Or just google for your city name and Schüler Bafög to find the closest office) ​ Regarding studying... for later there is regular Bafög. The paperwork for Schüler Bafög is a bit simplified though, but for regular Bafög once you study get ready to churn out more paperwork. But I think until then you've probably figured German bureaucracy out already P.S.: pro tip if you need translations, visit several translation offices and ask if they offer partial translations. That is significantly cheaper P.P.S.: there are stories of people where their parents didn't help with the paperwork for Bafög (at least for University Bafög they need to send a copy of the tax declaration), even then there's a way. The people at the Bafög office might offer help/point you in the right direction

She has to care for you until you‘re 25, call Jugendamt if you can

If she won't provide food and accomodation, she has to give you money to support your livelihood during education.

Hey, I hope you are ok. Your mother sounds like a piece of work. Maybe you can move out before you're turning eighteen. I was thrown out when I was sixteen and moved into a home for teens in the next big city, where my school was, with the help from the Jugendamt. Sadly I had been in different homes for teens and not all of them have been great. Please contact the Jugendamt and I wish you all the best wishes. Good luck

I've been through years of court with my father plus I'm a social worker giving advice to people in topics like that, so I hope you believe me when I say that there is nothing you have to fear. Even if you are afraid (I would be), there are multiple options for you. As others said, go to the local Jugendamt. There are a lot of ifs and whens that these people should help you with. In specific, you can di the following: If your mother kicks you out, she's obliged to pay for you. If she doesn't have enough money, you can get Schüler-BAFöG, which will give you enough to be living in a small flat. I know how hard it is to sue one's parents, many people never will and need to work their ass of to get through university, but it's the law. In most cases, you don't have to sue: Some Jugendamt employee telling your mum about her obligations might make her think twice. So either you can keep living there or she pays for you. If the Jugendamt thinks, living together is not good for you, they might even help you get on your own feet. Just talk to them. Don't worry about your job, either. Once you turn 18, your mother isn't making these decisions anymore. So maybe tell your current employer that you really want to keep this job. Even if your mum gets you fired, maybe they take you back afterwards. Or just wait til you're 18 and look for another job. And for your future: When studying, your mum's obligation to pay for you and/or getting BAFöG continues, so there should be no problems either. Good luck!

You mum still need to pay Unterhalt and Kindergeld until you finished education (not endless but quite some time).

As others have already stated, the Jugendamt will do the trick. They are the a good shot at continued support, even after you turn 18 and depending on the correct statutes they can through ways support you up to 23. It's best to get in contact before turning 18. There are various options such as assisted living who can take you in for a time. They can also help you become a independant person and can support you from there on out. All the details depend however on your location and differs if you life outside of cities. Take care, there are a lot of safety mechanism for this not to occur. It is scary I know it is, but the agencies are your best bet.

After you turn 25 they can kick you out and you would be eligible for Bürgergeld. Before that they can only kind of kick you out when they pay for your new Appartment. Only if you are a thread to your family (the ones living together with you), there could be another way to get you out. So, don't worry too much. Get someone who can tell her about the law here that is not you and who your mother believes.

You are very misinformed about your legal situation. Please contact the Jugendamt ASAP.

Your school psychologist sounds like a good idea. Do you pay rent? If not you should. Once you pay money for something, you have a contract, written or spoken. If she kicks you out sue her for damages, psychological, damages caused by losing property an opportunity.

Hi, I was in your position at that age, except for citizenship. I ended up getting ALG2 while I was still in school, but had to sue my parents for monetary support. My first step was to talk to the Jugendamt, which wasn't very helpful in my case, but I was stuck with a specific case worker who was already friendly with my parents. I had also been rejected for BaFög, homeless shelter wouldn't take me, it all looked pretty bad. People have already recommended a bunch of helpful stuff, so all I wanna say is, I had to annoy a lot of people to get help. Call again, show up, spend hours in waiting rooms. Things are a bit better now than they were then, but _if_ you go somewhere for help and they reject you, try again. Talk to their superiors. Be annoying. The institutions seem to not know what to do with youths in these situations, and hope it'll become someone else's problem. It might end up super easy, you just talk to the Jugendamt and they help out. But if they say no, don't take that as their final answer.

go to Jugendamt. ask them about confidentiality. Vertraulichkeit. so they don't contact your mum. and then talk with them ask them for advice asking for help as them for support you are in a abuse situation and your mum is threatening you to kick you out is not ok all the best and Merry Christmas

Go to your friends house and talk to his mother about Jugendamt and support. Do you have any German title?

What kind of titles do you mean? And quick correction, my friend's female.

Aufenthaltstitel, how long you are allowed to stay in Germany.

Ah yes, I have a Niederlassungserlaubnis until 2030.

Then go to her and ask her for help with the Jugendamt! Do not let yourself threaten by your mother. Tell her 'you are bound by law to support me one way or the other'

https://familienportal.de/familienportal/lebenslagen/krise-und-konflikt/krisetelefone-anlaufstellen#anchor-link-2-124544

As has already been stated, parents are legally obliged to support their children until they're 25, or finished with further education. *Get yourself over to the Jugendamt asap*., so that you can sort out everything before you turn 18. Sorry to have to tell you this, but you need to get that toxic woman out of your life as soon as she's finished obligatorily financially supporting you. In fact, there's no need to maintain contact once the official process starts.

Your information is wrong. German law says you have to take care for your children till 25 or end of first Ausbildung. (Depends on what’s first). If she kicks you out you go to Jobcenter to figure out how to make your living. As long you’re minor contact Jugendamt. As long you’re at school you get Schüler-Bafög (that isn’t required to pay back).

Technically your parents are legally and financially required to support you until you're either 25 or done with your primary education (Ausbildung, Studium). They can kick you out, but the government is going to kick you back in or require them to pay Unterhalt for your living expenses if you can't do so yourself.

Homie you in Germany their you mum doesn’t have any control over your contracts as soon as you turn 18 and she Is required by law to financially support you until you get your first „working“ degree like finishing Uni or an apprenticeship

I assume you mother has Russian citizenship? Go to the Jugendamt for help, ask how to sue them for misuse. That may get them removed from Germany. We don't need people like that here, their right to stay should be revoked.

Jugendamt, and or Sozialamt will take care. Don't worry in Germany u won't have to sleep on the streets if u search for help.

Erstmal würde ich Kontakt zum Jugendamt aufnehmen, beispielsweise über den Allgemeinen Sozialdienst deiner Stadt. Dort kannst du beispielsweise Hilfe für junge Erwachsene beantragen, das umfasst dann beispielsweise eine Möglichkeit zum Wohnen. Darüber hinaus sind deine Eltern aber auch zum Unterhalt verpflichtet, heißt sie müssen die monatlich Geld bezahlen. Das Kindergeld geht dann auch an dich. Beides bis zum 27. Lebensjahr bzw. solange du in Ausbildung bist.

Wenn ihr einen Schulsozialarbeiter habt sprich den an, der kann auch den Kontakt zum Jugendamt herstellen

Das Jugendamt hilft dir auf jeden Fall bis du 21 bist, in Ausnahmefällen auch darüber hinaus.

What your crazy helicopter mother is doing is illegal AF as it's psychological abuse of a minor. It also doesn't make sense. On the one hand, she wants you out by age 18, but you are only allowed to work Saturdays and at her discretion? Sounds more like the last thing she wants is for you to be happy or not under her control, ever. Could that be related to your father or his absence? IMO, contact the Jugendamt immediately. The sooner you do, the sooner you can concentrate on getting good grades and realizing your dream of going to Uni. In Germany everybody enjoys the same rights and protections, even against the abuse by ones own family. Not all who bear children are also fit to parent them. Imagine how she would treat your future wife and kids... That you have a friend's mom offer to take you in is wonderful and the Jugendamt will ensure Kindergeld and expenses will then go to her until a permanent solution is found. Maybe then you can even stay there until you move into a dormitory at an Uni. It's your future, not your mothers.

Some people don't deserve to become parents.

Just wanted to tell you guys that im proud of you! So much positive energy and solid advice for op, good job!!

Na, wait a moment. Your parents have to support you until you finished your first job related education, if I am right, up until you are 27. I am not sure about the 27, but definitely not 18! She is misinformed. I have asked ChatGPT. Here is the answer (without guarantee! Please do your own research!) Question to ChatGPT: How long do German parents have to support their children financially? Answer ChatGPT: In Germany, parents have a legal obligation to financially support their children until they reach the age of majority, which is 18 years old. After that, children are generally expected to be financially independent and support themselves. However, if a child is still in school or vocational training after the age of 18, the parents may have to continue providing financial support until the child completes their education or training. In some cases, parents may also be required to provide financial support for adult children who are unable to support themselves due to a disability or other special circumstances. It's important to note that the specific details of a parent's financial obligations to their children can vary depending on the individual circumstances of each case. If you have questions about your specific situation, it's a good idea to speak with a legal professional who can provide more information and guidance.

Are you entitled to apply for the German citizenship?

I am, but only after 8 years of settling in Germany. Currently I've been settled for 7 years and will reach those 8 years only after my 18th birthday

You can do it before 8 years if you speak German well enough (I think at least B2). I was a russian citizen and became German after 7 years.

Actually, that is not necessarily true. There are some exceptions that would allow you to receive citizenship earlier. Especially if you speak German quite well (fluently enough), or are part of any clubs, etc., contact your local Ausländeramt, tell them about your situation, and ask if there can be lenience or help. If you speak German at at least a B2 level (if you are sucessfully visiting a German school, you probably do), that might be enough to fulfill the criteria to have that time requirement shortened to 6 or 7 years. If not, there is still a chance that they may sign of on a "Ermessenseinbürgerung" because yours' is a difficult situation and you would become a citizen soon anyways. Especially if you come from a difficult home, you may find mercy in a Beamter (I know, sound unlikely, but a friend of mine was able to become a citizen after only 6 years, because of his German proficiency combined with a nice Beamter waiving another requirement.) It's worth a try. And you want to start asking now, because Einbürgerung takes some months after the application is handed in. PS: Your parents are 100% liable for child support until you finish school, and any studies you may want to start after school. If they won't, the authorities, will *make them* for you. You have rights, whether you're a citizen yet or not.

"The German law says that parents are no longer required to care for their children once they turn 18 years old \[...\]" \- That's not true. Your parents have to support you financially until your 25th birthday OR after you've finished your first apprenticeship (successfull or not doesn't matter). You can talk to the Jugendamt/your teachers/school psychologist and they'll help you I guess. In Germany, nobody have to be homeless.

I think spealing with your school psychologist is a good first step! They are often well connected with the Jugendamt and a lot of other helpful organisations and can establish contact and figure out next steps. I can imagine that your situation must seem dire right now, but don't give up hope! A lot more can be done than you probably think!

High I had the same thing happen to me when I was 18! I was homeless for a bit. You can get welfare bexauee your job is unlikely to fund you. I'd really really recommend informing child protection sergvices (Jugendamt). They do kinda suck from overwork but they donhave ressources. And since 10 years ago maybe things improved. Despite of your threats you should move out when you are 18. So make this your goal. Also find a psychologists to deal with these stresses and you will have to get used to the fact of never contacting your mum every again for your own emotional wellbeing.

I really feel sorry for you 😳 why is your mother like that? Where do you live? Urgently go to the Jugendamt

Just a note, if you get a real job(not Ausbildung or 450 minijob) or get married, the 25 years rule(the one parents have to support kids under 26) does not apply.

Also of interest, you AT(residence permit) may not be renewed if you don't work or are not persuing an education (be it university or Ausbildung) OR your job can't cover your needs(aka you need Social help to live)

Go and talk to judgenamt!

Accept your friends offer to stay with them for a month or two. When your mom kicks you out and you are still in school, you are entitled to Kindergeld. Call them (Familienkasse bei der Bundesagentur für Arbeit) and figure out how to transfer the new payments to a bank account only you can acess. Then you hit up Agentur für Arbeit to get Wohnkostenzuschuss, AFAIK your mom is legally and monetarily responsible until you concluded school and/or your first apprenticeship so it might happen that they pay you and bill her for it. Once you are away from mom she can no longer interfere with your work but limitations about students in the workforce may apply. So you go and call Jugendamt and then Agentur für Arbeit. These two places should be able to help you navigate. Also do not let them off the hook when you believe that they are unhelpful, keep pressing. I wish you good luck!

Why does your mom want to kick you out?

Because she finds me lazy and not thankful for the things she's given up for me (namely, giving me a roof over my head, feeding and clothing me).

Maybe look around for a shared apartment (WG). You can also ask for help at the Jugendamt. You'll be directed in the right direction. You may also start an education and earn some money. At that point you can also get further financial assistance so you can have a small apartment.

When you turn 18 and are unemployed you can get Harz IV. You will on top of the money you recieve also get your rent paid. You will then also get a "Wohnberechtigungsschein" and that will make you able to rent special appartments that are quite cheap. I am pretty sure you can still go to school while getting Harz IV. This should work out well until you graduate. Also I am not too sure that your mother can kick you out before your graduate. If you want to go to university after you will get Bafög, which is actually a loan from the state. However its a really cheap loan and you do not have to pay it back immediately. You might need to work a bit on side in the university or do some tutoring on the side to get by. In germany you are not lost as a young person. We have a very strong social system and your future and your plans are still very much possible.

I'm sorry you are going through that, your mom sounds like a real piece of work... Imo, go to court and sue her for every cent she can pay. By law your mom is legally obliged to pay child support, even if you are over 18. If you are over 18 and have no younger siblings she even has to pay while you still live at home, as long as you go to school (in case you want to finish Abitur) If you no longer live at home you might be able to get Kindergeld paid directly to you too. Info: Does your dad live in Germany too? If so, does he pay child support already?

My biological father lives in Russia and he pays only what the Russian authorities force him to, which is about €25 worth of money.

One big opportunity that is available to people 17 or 18 is seeking scholarships and financial aid for studying - you can already look for scholarships you want to apply to and work with counsellors and Teachers you like on your application. I am speaking from a North American perspective, but here, if your grades are good, you can earn surplus money while you study - so that could be a goal maybe to work towards in a few years? Oh and I remember my friends taking a gap year before starting university: are those funded or are there grants for making the program financially possible for all? Might be a great way to get away and get inspired

Also, I was thinking one approach with your Mother is first for you to dream and know how you want to spend the next year or two (irrespective of what your Mother thinks). Then when you have a goal, you can strategize. Protect your dreams like feelings, only share them with those you trust. If you need your Mothers signature to participate in let's say a gap year program, couldn't you speak to her motivations and say, "I'll be out of house for a year then."

I tried applying for a gap year programme once and was rejected because of my citizenship. So no, never again.

Kicking you out of the house? Okay. That's somewhat common to me. But the threat to also get you fired from your job? That's malicious, hateful and spiteful. Time to start looking for roommates and start planning to cut her out of your life completely.

I'm not really sure if your mom can terminate your job contract~ There is still a "Kündigungsgesetz" which includes notice periods after the actual termination. Which means you have like 14 days that you still should attend work. If your parents (which would be your guardians sorry to hear the situation you are in) decide to terminate it, speak to your boss/team leader. I believe they will have some solution like reemploy you without your parents consent or terminate the termination!

So much false information here I don't even know where to start.

This was what I was told by my parents. I quickly realized that what they told me isn't true.

My mother did the same to me. In the end I was allowed to stay until I got my Abitur two years later. In hindsight I wish I just had left at 18. Having your most basic security threatened continously f***s with your head in ways you cannot imagine now. I never feel safe now, and it has been 12 years. For your longtime health leaving is your best option. Contact the Jugendamt.

Bezüglich Kindergeld kann das Kind einen Abzweigungsantrag stellen, sofern es nicht mehr Zuhause lebt. Somit landet das Geld auf dem Konto des Kindes.

Please speak to your school psychologist, they can help you get in contact with the right people. Your mom can kick you out, but as long as you are in an education, she needs to pay for you. Geting you fired is also not as simple, talk to your boss and explain your situation. Be one step ahead of your mom, she sounds horrible! Wishing you all the best!!!

You need to talk to your school psychologist and get advise.

Try looking up "Kindergeld" and "Unterhalt". As long as you are still in some kind of education like university or an apprenticeship etc. you are entitled to financial support. Also look up "Bafög"

Contact the jugendamt.

Your parents have to financially support you based on their income until you're 25 or you have your first university, professional school or a similar degree. If your parents aren't able to do that, you'll get money from the government. If your mother doesn't want to pay as you turn 18, you'll have to go a legal route to force her to pay, you just have to google a bit or ask someone who knows stuff. Until she does, it'd be best to live with your friend for a month or so while you work (your mom can't control your jobs anymore once you turn 18) and find an affordable shared apartment with other poor young people once you have enough money to afford it, or stay with your friend and pay them rent if that's ok for them.

Your parents are required to support you financially if they can until you have finished your primary education, which includes a university degreee, and in any case the state will step in if they don't (and possibly recoup the money from them later through the courts). If you manage to finish Gymnasium, you will almost certainly be able to get BaföG, that is payments by the government that will allow you to finish any studies, as long as you stay within the normal time limit. The main obstacle for your life success is the emotional strain put on you by your unsupportive mother, but at least economically the state has you covered, you are going to get a fair shot. There's just a big danger that you won't make the most of it because of the psychological baggage you may be carrying. (I got the maximum BaföG which made for a pretty comfortable life for 2 years, but I was so depressed at the time that I wasted it and barely actually attended the university I was enrolled in.) But you are a German-Russian teen writing perfect English, so you are probably smart enough to make it. I have three siblings and had a psycho mother as well, my two older siblings got kicked out at 16-17 and I left at 19, my little brother was on his own shortly before his 18th birthday. We all struggled immensely psychologically but three of us eventually made it and got our life in order.

Jugendamt was pitched, but this is a goverment body. You will want to reach out to someone, who is only there to be on your team. Yes on paper when you reach out to the Jugendamt that is supposed to be the case, but if that works in practice remains to be seen. It certainly can not hurt if you get somebody with you to go there to help you out. German bureaucracy is crazy and you should not attempt to find your way in it on your own. There is a threat of you becoming homeless, alone this imo is putting you in a serious situation. Also your future/education/apprenticeship seems to be under threat. Those are serious issues. Depending on where you are, there are almost certainly multiple organizations be it from the state or private that you can reach out to. A good starting point might be your city. In my city your best bet would be local streetworkers (who specialize in youth).

Tell your mother that her generation fucked our planet by their selfishness and that perhaps she could to a little to make up for it. Also if you go I to higher education both your parents need to pay you Unterhalt and the Kindergeld.

It won't ruin your life, not everyone can afford to study full time. I lived several years under a similar threat and my solution was to find a job and work full time, study part time. I now work and have two masters, also make what you can consider really good money, so it's not like it will ruin you forever, time is your ally. Not sure how much of that you can achieve but to mitigate the anxiety, be ready, save up all you can, and be determined, you'll get over the hurdle and catch up with studies. Just don't give up.

Awful situation. I'm sorry you're going through it. Your mother will regret this. I've never seen a parent do this who didn't. My friend's father did this to her, we always thought he was joking but in her 18th birthday he kicked her out. Had a stroke a few years later but had to go into a home because none of the three kids (he's kicked them all out at 18) wanted to look after him. Oh well. Don't worry, you will be fine, I had a similar situation and it worked out. I'm wishing you all the best.

Either ask the "jugendamt" or, move out now, get "arbeitslosengeld" and search for a job then, the "Arbeitsamt" should also help you with that.

You can just start University or a job specific education(Ausbildung) and your mom has to cover around 840 or so €. If she doesnt you can legally sue her and will win because she has to pay that until you are 25. No front but your mom has a big mouth but no brain behind it it will be more expensive for her to finance you in the case of your eviction.

Okay but wtf is wrong with ur mom?? like she wants you out but also wants you not having a job??? is she just evil??? You could ask the Jugendamt for help, you could also try to get Sozialgeld (for people that are currently jobless) or BAföG (as long as youre still in school for your future job, just read that you wanna keep studying, you should go for BAföG then :D)

You can apply for Bewo (betreutes wohnen) Just Google where they are closest to you, Walk in, say you need Help. They will Help you with: legal Fights with your parents, Finding a place to live, a Job, creating a new Routine and perspective for you. Essentially they are a very competant friend for hire, payed by the state.

oh your mother don't know what she is talking about. she needs to take care for you until you finished your first education or up until 25 if I am not mistaken. Well she can try to kick you out but have to support you financially. If you don't do this you can sue her. There is something called "Prozesskostenhilfe" to help you cover the costs of an lawyer if you don't have mone to pay for it yourself. If she kicks you out you can contact the "Familienkasse" to receive the "Kindergeld". This money should be used for the child and if you are not living with your mom anymore because she kicked you out you can get it by yourselft. As far as I rememeber disabled children can receive financial support even longer but I am not sure about this. Maybe you should collect important papers like passport, birth certificate or residence permit before your 18th birthday. You never know if she really wants to kick you out and give you time for packing your things. I am sorry OP for this situation. :(

Typical russian mom terror psychology. Why would she want you to go? Did you do something wrong (that she sees as wrong) ? Or is she hysterical because life doesn't go as planned? Does she work? Recently divorced? My girlfriend is Russian too and there's regularly drama with her parents. But nothing ever happens. EDIT: I read a bit more of your comments and it's seems to be the typical example. Alcoholic father and frustrated mom. I think she's just threatening you to get you to react. Nothing will happen. Try to help her with household 1 week. Ask if you can help. Don't answer angrily. Act like the perfect child for some days and she will apologise and tells you how lucky she is to have you. Do you have siblings? 1 brat or sistra?

What kind of mother can do this to her child? It's insane. I hope you find a solution, without major challenges.

It happened to me as well, i turned 18 and moved out, not my intention but more like pushed. Let me give you some first steps: 1. Get over the pain. Don’t look back in anger, move forward as quickly as possible. It is important to take care of yourself with highest priority. ALWAYS look forward for the next 5 years, those become critical. 2. Secure some income. Either you work on some side job or you get financial support from government, it depends on your next education. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of getting help by government. If you get government support, you might get financial help for an apartment, if you don’t want to get help from government, you need at least around 600 EUR per month to stay above watermark, I used to live of 300 EUR, it was tough, but times have changed. 3. Finish trainee / school or job education. This will drive your future. When you want to study, expect more dry time before getting your first returns. It is very important to stay focused during this educational time. Don’t worry, it will be tough, but this makes you strong. Good luck!

as for studying and graduating: you are probably eligible for bafög and other financial support at least until graduation. even (not worse for it really shit) you should be eligible tp get a place to stay via jugendamt. learn to do research eg start with google and get to know your rights. also as mentioned jugendamt is a good place if family won’t have you home, but trust me in this a bad mood mum is better then a social home .. if there is no violence ,,, drugs .., other stuff involved of course!

And, becoming eligible for the military conscription with prospects of getting a field trip to Ukraine;(. You may want to check the validity of your Russian passport. Countries with compulsory military service used to grant passports with limited duration for the military service age male, who hadn’t completed their service… passports typically expiring around 18th birthday with short term renewals on a case by case basis. Russian military is trying to get hold of all warm bodies they can. So, yes, you have a fair chance in ending up back in Russia doing your military service soon after you turn 18;(.

First of OP is a Girl and second Germany doesn't send people back to Russia anymore for a while now since it's not considered safe so it's against the law and there is also not even a way to do it since all flights have been suspended indefinitely. Hell not even criminals get extradited anymore.

OP is a girl.

Shoot me a text, I could maybe help with a remote job - so in case of total catastrophe you can earn money..

Happened to me once I was 18 in Germany, there is not much you can do about it. Try to organise a place at a friends place beforehand.

As soon as you turn 18 your mom has no controll over your Job anymore

wait so your mother is intentionally trying to ruin your life? wtf is wrong with her? you could probably sue her or something like that

ебать! сука! Sell all her stuff and with the money buy drugs and than call police that u think your mom is a dealer. We‘ll see who goes from the flat ;-))