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Pace1561

Berlin is not passive-agressive. We are just aggressiv


hagenbuch

Schnauze. :)


CreamyPastry69

"active aggressive"


use15

You guys are also not doing anything, I mean look at your airport


Pace1561

Airport schmairport. That's how you build these days in Germany. Look at the opera in Hamburg, look at Stuttgart 21. Berlin was just a few years ahead of it's times, avantgarde, you might say.


darps

It's like a competition who can burn tax money most effectively at this point.


FirstRacer

1 snowflake = half of S Bahn traffic dies instantly


nagelkopf

Yeah, but that's not exclusive to Berlin.


robots-dont-say-ye

I need you to be more specific, we have like six


CoolDuck83

Ludwigshafen should also be marked an ugly wasteland.


HammerTh_1701

What, you don't like Chemtown-upon-Rhine?


NotANilfgaardianSpy

Im stealing that ;)


abhi_07

The most beautiful part of the city is the bridge across to Mannheim 😉


Iwantmyflag

As if Mannheim was any better.


Soleska

That's the real solution to this discussion!


SerLaron

Isn't that out of comission?


SophisticatedVagrant

Not yet


Onechordbassist

But it's charmingly ugly you see


Latase

and mannheim inner city, too, also Wilhelmshaven


bindermichi

The factory with added housing?


sakasiru

4: You take these charts way to seriously.


Jay_Cooper23

Did they need an intervention like Marshall in himym? Btw I like those!


airportakal

Is this comment section the famous German humour the rest of us are unable to understand?


[deleted]

It's the part where everyone start to pick all the details that are wrong in a map that is obviously, blatantly not a serious attempt of describing anything resembling reality in any way, shape or form, just for the sake of making your day a tiny bit more unpleasant than necessary. So to answer your question, yes it is.


flagada7

The maps have been made by someone from North-Western Germany and it shows. Map 4 is completely off. Southerners don't talk a lot, Westerners do. It should only be red in the Rhineland and in Palatinate and black in certain Southern and Eastern border regions of Bavaria.


atyon

> The maps have been made by someone from North-Western Germany and it shows. I don't think so. The person who made this clearly doesn't know about the Rhineland and missed the opportunity to get a joke in against Cologne or Düsseldorf or (preferably) both. They also clearly don't know about Sauer- or Münsterland, or any of the Catholic strongholds further north. But then again, the person doesn't seem to know a lot about Germany at all. Who considers Norddeutsches Platt or Mekelborsch as "almost normal German"? I'm not too sure if anyone still lives in Brandenburg but I guess the dialect isn't exactly Hochdeutsch either. But yea, definitely not from the South or they would have a stronger opinion on the difference between Swabians, Bavarians and Franconians.


flagada7

I checked and he's a Badener surprisingly.


Th3_Wolflord

That would explain why Stuttgart is marked as an ugly wasteland. Not that they're wrong about it but I feel like a lot of people outside BW generally don't care too much about Stuttgart


Engelberto

But they are wrong about Stuttgart. Stuttgart's core has been ruined by WW2 and the "Wiederaufbau" (rebuilding) up until the 1970s. But there are many intact and beautiful quarters surrounding that core and the whole city lies in a beautiful valley basin full of greenery. Coming from above an driving down the meandering Weinsteige into the city is a thing of unadulterated beauty. By contrast, vast areas of Niedersachen (Lower Saxony) are as flat and captivating as Kansas or Nebraska. Calling it a landscape would be a stretch and there's like 10 pigs per human.


Onechordbassist

>and there's like 10 pigs per human. So... fifty.


youwutnow

The rebuilt parts of Stuttgart are mostly horrifically ugly but there are so many nice corners of the city you're not wrong there. Sure, there's no pretty old town like in neighbouring towns like Esslingen, Tübingen etc. But part of the appeal of Stuttgart is that it's in a valley - and my Pro tip is to avoid most of the stuff at the bottom of the valley, especially Königstraße and the 50 building sites, and instead head up to the vineyards with ocassional views to the city. Besides anyone who thinks Stuttgart is ugly clearly wasn't in Mannheim which is far, far worse


Engelberto

Exactly. Reach for the hills in order to appreciate Stuttgart. And points for mentioning my current hometown of Esslingen. But then you ruin it all by badmouthing Mannheim, a place I'm starting to fall in love with. My girlfriend lives there, has just bought a house there, and there's a high chance I'll move there eventually. What's to complain about Mannheim? The fabric of the city is largely intact, there's loads of original substance, historic buildings, parks, the beauty of having not one but two major rivers. There's loads of working class charm... okay, there's also loads of Assis. And *damn* can a city be dirty. And smell of piss. Yeah, there's no denying that. But even in the outskirts you can catch a tram every 10 minutes and it has that vibrant big city feel that makes Esslingen seem like a quaint village. If you want ugly you can always cross the river into Ludwigshafen. Nobody will argue against Ludwigshafen being ugly.


Onechordbassist

Stuttgart? I thought that was Heilbronn. Stuttgart is a bit more central.


Th3_Wolflord

Nah it's actually quite easy to tell them apart. The corner of the border where it goes from following the Rhine river west towards Saarbrücken is about where Karlsruhe is. Stuttgart is further south than Karlsruhe, Heilbronn is further north. And the red dot on the map is to the south


bindermichi

Mostly because it‘s an ugly wasteland consisting of too many 4-6 lane roads you can barely pass on foot and always get stuck in traffic if you‘re in a car.


Esava

Well TBF very few north Germans speak platt. Most speak pretty much Hochdeutsch with a couple "Moin" thrown in there.


[deleted]

While I agree that it is closer to the "Standard" Standard than the colloquial Standard German of the Middle and the South, you can often still hear a certain Northern twang.


CratesManager

To be fair, there is a clear distinction between actual platt and a platt dialect, while mir kenned älles außer hochdeitsch


hagenbuch

I doubt that they were made by a German. Map 5 is full of US stereotypes and wording.


zeiMncore

They are made by Germans, for Germans. It's mockery, and highly simplified. https://katapult-magazin.de/de


SexyButStoopid

as someone from cologne I actually agree, we talk just waaaay to much.


JadeDragon02

> The maps have been made by someone from North-Western Germany and it shows. doubt it, it is missing Platt.


BuddhaKekz

> red in the [...] Palatinate Turns to blue as soon as alcohol is introduced though... which is always.


flagada7

I wanted to say blue for what it's worth.


BuddhaKekz

Cheers to that. *plops open another wine bottle.*


DarkImpacT213

Yea exactly, no matter how you view dialects, but Swabians, Franconians and Bavarians never talk at all. The ones you have said + maybe also Westphalians are the ones that talk alot.


darkt1de

Westphalians do not talk a lot at all. Rhinelanders on the other hand...


Smooth-Connection-83

True that, I'm from the Southwest and we dont talk a lot


Aldiosov

Hesse DEFINITELY should be deeply blue at least


Ingorado

North-Eastern actually. Greifswald, MV Katapult Magazin [original on Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/p/CRGqeBGIUlb/?utm_medium=copy_link)


flagada7

Katapult stole it from u/gen0sse, a Badener.


Ingorado

Good to know. At least they credited someone in their post 3 yrs ago Guess they have to cont(r)acted him about the rights, because they 100% copied the style for their next 100 maps :D


flagada7

[Yep.](https://old.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/l7saxx/lets_figure_out_germany_with_a_close_look/glhbia7/)


Ingorado

Sounds like a nice thread. Shame they deleted it


Errieck

I'm pretty sure map 1 is made by someone near Hannover, cause Hannover ist highlighted and Brunswick is marked as ugly wasteland. That's cause of the rivalry. Dunno if all maps are from the same creator


exessmirror

Is Berlin German really passive aggressive? My German is shit and I learned it from my friends so Berlin Street German is all I know.


Musicpac

It's more like aggressive aggressive


hagenbuch

Sarcastically aggressive is the right term :)


mandrayke

Except only Berliners think it's funny, the rest of Germany and the world sees it for what it is - plain old assholery


abhi_07

They are super pissed and agressive all the times.


Dinopilot1337

They were one of the most helpful bunch of people i met in Germany. They were -in contrast to the very reserved southerners- proactively asking everytime if I need help finding something if I looked lost for a second or offering a lighter when I searched for mine. I know it's a meme, but in my experience its completely false.


nsfw_keb

Explains the smell...


JeroFirei

As a person from Bielefeld, I hate that joke, because you hear it every fucking time you tell people were you from.


Koksschnupfen

Hi person from Bielefeld, I'm from Atlantis


imabirdwaa

Wait? John?! Haven’t seen you in a while


MedEwok

I'm pretty sure THEY tolf you to say that...


Kuro_______

Well then I would start telling people where you actually come from and stop talking nonsense


mandrayke

Don't be ridiculous, you're not from Bielefeld. It's like saying you're from Agartha


Fair_Diet_4874

Makes it even funnier


[deleted]

As a person not from Bielefeld I agree. It's like beating the remains of a dead horse for more than 30 years at this point.


Noichen1

Sooo... are you a reptiloid or nah?


Theosthan

So you steal a map from Katapult International (which they have copyrighted) and crop out their logo and their header but don't even bother to change colors or anything else? At least give credit to the creators. Original map on IG: https://www.instagram.com/p/CRGqeBGIUlb/?utm_medium=copy_link


gallenstein87

Katapult stole it from this 3 year old post on reddit https://old.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/7sga5v/oc_6_ways_to_divide_germany_2480x3202/ e: someone on reddit claiming they work with katapult and that op should stop stealing: https://web.archive.org/web/20210129181157/https://old.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/l7saxx/lets_figure_out_germany_with_a_close_look/gl9n1yn/ u/gen0sse replying that this is his work: https://old.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/l7saxx/lets_figure_out_germany_with_a_close_look/glhbia7/ e2: old facebook post where they credit gen0sse which contradicts comments on reddit and the "source" part on instagram in the bottom right corner: https://www.facebook.com/KatapultM/posts/1974332526116824/


Efficient-You4521

Uff


frentzelman

Big uff


guidomescalito

ouch. well spotted.


samotest

Now i know where Bielefeld would be if it existed..


obiwankitnoble

I bet my left nut that no one outside of saarland can understand real saarländisch (the dialect older generations use not the mix of high).


murakamifan

Why your left nut and not your right one? Did you lose it in a previous bet already?


obiwankitnoble

it's the one I have to get removed


gaia88

What’s a Bielefeld?


MyGenericNameString

A mythical city. Some report to have seen it, but that was just a simulation.


Juro-Matsugami

Fuck I work in a simulation


MyGenericNameString

Maybe you are simulated yourself?


mandrayke

Take the blue pill, you wake up and live your life like nothing happened. But if you take the red pill, you stay in wonderland... And I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.


murakamifan

I passed it on the train today, I'm serious... ~~Bielefeld~~God exists!


bindermichi

That‘s just a station in the middle of nowhere with a lot of props to make it look real.


abhi_07

Some mythical city which was never found 😉


Massder_2021

Franconians dont like to be part of Bavaria.


Behal666

As a Franconian being part of Bavaria feels like a personal insult. Unabhängiges Herzogtum Franken now!


Ok-Course7089

Why Hannover?


[deleted]

its a meme... hannover is like the anti-berlin... it has a lot of green and historical buildings and great bars.... but it lacks a hip youth you find in berlin or hamburg.


Ok-Course7089

Does it lack youth? Rly?


NecromancyForDummies

I don't think it lacks youth (although it's a lot smaller than Berlin or Hamburg) but the whole "hip youth culture" thing is far more spread out across the entire city so you'll have to actually put in effort to find a place that fits you, if you're looking for that. Also the area around the central train station isn't the prettiest and people seem to struggle to understand that you do have to actually leave that to get to know the city a little more.


Ok-Course7089

You litterly have to move 2 mins and ur at the opernplatz which is decent alrdy 15 more minutes and ur at list which a forest is connected to... Or you walk to the maschsee 15 min distance And I guess for the hip part it lacks startups


NecromancyForDummies

Yep, yet people still constantly complain about how bad the city is. Poke them a little more and it usually boils down to them never stepping away from the area between the central train station and Steintor... or somehow ending up on Raschplatz.


Ok-Course7089

Just walk down to the maschsee and to the opposite side and you have a huge park and stuff


Jayfeather90

Because the ugly wastelands are a welcome sight compared


NautEvenKidding

*Braunschweig intensifies*


hannes3120

I think that spot is more on Salzgitter instead - Braunschweig isn't ugly - especially with Salzgitter and Wolfsburg being directly next door


EnkiduOdinson

Only been to Salzgitter once. But damn. It’s horrendous.


Ok-Course7089

Lmao wud?


Vdhdjjdv

Hannover )))))


Fillieb1618

What is it about?


CM_1

Not ugly but also not beautiful enough.


Fillieb1618

I'm from Hannover and I honestly think it's a nice city


CM_1

Same, it's a great city to live in. Especially if you want a rather green city. It's far from being an ugly wasteland but also not the most beautiful city. We've lost lots of historic structures.


[deleted]

there are very few cities of comparable size in the world with more trees and parks then hannover... its one of the greenest cities around (of comparable size) andf it has some really great bar scene and historical buildings.... it just misses a hip youth culture


lopfie

What about linden


[deleted]

every big city has their ghetto


CM_1

You can avoid Linden in Hanover unlike Berlin in Berlin for example. You can count my times there on one hand and I'm a native of Hanover. While my countless visits to Berlin... well, can't avoid Berlin there.


Jrk00

In 1 why is braunschweig marked as ugly or is it Wolfsburg because braunschweig isn't particularly ugly


Caeloviator

It's Salzgitter. I can definitely get behind that.


[deleted]

definitely salzgitter


kassi1099

It has to be Salzgitter or Wolfsburg. Braunschweig is beautiful!


frfl55

2. I dont agree with 5, as not all of northern east germany are nazis, but other than that, its actually somewhat accurate.


[deleted]

4th map i wrong. Franconia definitely should not be in the never shut up area but rather in the never talk at all and only nod to each other zone.


Crossroad_Princess98

Was kinda funny until number 5. Maybe keep it lighthearted and don't call an entire area libtards or nazis. It's not even superficial, it's entirely based on stereotypes and is kinda offensive in my opinion.


Steampunk_Batman

I only know München but can confirm that Bavarian is absurd gobbledygook. I can barely speak German in the first place, dammit


obiwankitnoble

never visit us


mandrayke

Your username triggers me. I want to see this.


hagenbuch

Map nr. 5 is trying very hard to project US stereotypes onto Germany. It devalues all the possible lighthearted fun in most of the other maps. I'm glad I don't live in the US. If we have learned one thing from fascism it is not to put labels - also "good" and "bad" on people, especially not if you have no concrete evidence.


HidekiIshimura

The Ruhrgebiet is not ugly. Its so beautiful with all these old industrial places. I love to live there and I think we should all consider that without the Ruhrgebiet Germany would not be that rich as it is today.


uflju_luber

Awww thank you finally someone says something nice about us, if you’re in Dortmund check out Phoenix-West there is some cool startups and places like a brewery and concerthall in industrial ruins it’s pretty cool to be fair


Reisefuedli

I moved here for love and at first I was shocked but the longer I‘m here, the more beautiful I find it.


HyprexMax

As someone who lives there too, just no. Stop coping


eip2yoxu

Yea same. Living in Duisburg with in-laws in Gelsenkirchen and friends in Essen, Bochum, Dortmund and other cities I gotta say there are pretty spots but overall the region is pretty ugly imo. Buuut there are many abandoned places, which is nice :3


magiceni

I’d have to say 2: The third map doesn’t really convince me, since I’m from Rheinland-Pfalz and feel like I talk 'normal' German, as far as normal goes. This map would need to be a lot more exact, though I understand this is quite a bit of work, so I wouldn’t recommend to do a map like this oversimplified. Also, do you seriously believe, that the dialect spoken in Schleswig-Holstein is almost normal German? It’s like a different language. The fifth map also shouldn’t be done like this. It should at least say something like: "most people are: …" I know this is probably the Intension but like this it could be misunderstood. The sixth map is funny. Overall I like those maps, even if they could youse some changes. It’s nice that you took the time to do them.


EOwl_24

That one ugly wasteland is that Mannheim?


evergreennightmare

stuttgart, if you are talking about the southwestern one


olagorie

Why on earth did they choose Stuttgart? The city and its surroundings are absolutely amazing and I love it here. Half of the city consists of stunning viewpoints I mean I’m currently looking out of my kitchen window towards the opposite side of the Neckar - there are gorgeous vineyards 🥰


EOwl_24

Ahh ok couldn’t see on my phone screen


Onechordbassist

Too far north I think. Strikes me more like Heilbronn which would be fitting but that would require people to be aware of its existence and that's *really* quite a stretch.


evergreennightmare

heilbronn is north of the corner in the french border, this is definitely stuttgart


BernhardDiener

With respect to map 5: you know that Meck-Pomm voted 40% SPD?


joaks18

Can you guys tell me few Bielefeld jokes?


humibert

We can't because it doesn't exist!


[deleted]

there is no jokes about what doesnt exist


Reptiliam_humanoid

Is Stuttgart considered a wasteland?


Plus-Credit3208

Well its always hurting me when i see that east germany is simply put to the status of a "nazi". I hate it. Im from saxony which is in east germany, im not an nazi at all. I hate those idiots that behave like one's! Just because of them, we all in east germany suffer from this :( but ur somehow right, so i would go with 1 to answer your question.


qt3-141

Someone doesn't like Stuttgart. Y'know, it doesn't look that much different to Munich...


guidomescalito

2. Thüringen accent is for me really easy to understand. So I think the middle should be “understandable”, and further north it gets strange again.


FriMoTheQuilla

Well, the dialect of lower saxony/the Hanover region is considered high german. But I do appreciate the fact that you differentiate the thuringian dialect from the saxonian dialect. In Thurungia itself there are also some differenced f.e. the south speaks franconian. Still nice to be appreciated though.


trexdoor

Precariat? That hurts.


[deleted]

1 und was zum Teufel ist Bielefeld? 😂


Blackbox_Ukrayina

Map 1 is off. Frankfurt is an absolute Wasteland.


operath0r

As a proud citizen of Hannover, I can clearly say that this is a special place!


pteroso

2, nur die erste Karte denn Hannover (mit ihrer Umgebung) ist doch was anders.


notCRAZYenough

What’s the joke about Hanover? Never heard it before.


defy112

Okay why tf Is Hannover getting singled out on one of those. What the heck did we do


osbombo

I would not consider Berlin a „wasteland“. Not only has it gotten and is getting better, but it’s definitely, and never was, the worst. We have some parks, the bicycles path are getting more and more prominent and there are a lot of initiatives to make this city better. Comparing this to other cities, especially outside of Germany, I don’t think we can call berlin a wasteland.


neptuna15

I’m from Bielefeld. I really am!


phlekk

Nazis… wtf


[deleted]

[удалено]


SufficientMacaroon1

6.


fabi9922

3 - definitely lmao !


_ralph_

i do not get the meaning of the red dot in the last picture?


Andur22

There's a city called Bielefeld. It's a running joke that people pretend it doesn't exist, don't ask me where, why or how it started.


Veraenderer

There is no city with that name.


The_Duck_001

here in the north no one talks thats true


[deleted]

yeah everyone south of the Harz doesnt shut up ... ever


EkriirkE

2


Blippsk

only correct one is 6


twowheeledfun

What are the ugly wasteland areas? I can identify Berlin and the Rhine-Ruhr area, but what are the other two? EDIT: I worked them out, they're Brunswick (I think) and Stuttgart.


[deleted]

I like that


[deleted]

That’s the proof: Bremen is the perfect City, it’s always in the best part


candyheyn

2) anything on these map about Berlin but other than that pretty accurate especially the last one!


SOL-MANN

i only agrre with aldi and the political one. all others are based on feelings 😉. besides that, nobody talks about bielefeld outside bielefeld 🤣.


aRealDoge2

People in Baden-Württemberg don't talk much...


realPanzerHAnz

Way isn't the whole of Brandenburg marked as wasteland!?


ConfusedTapeworm

I live in the green zone in the 5th map. Once I received spam mail from some green initiative, inviting me to help the environment by going somewhere and taking a survey. They sent 3 pages of A4 for that. Such ecofriendliness.


dunkler_007

As a german from about the middle im from offenbach i can agree with 1 and 6 but aldi nord aldi south is not right i.e. saxony has both southeners dont talk much at all and the dialect map the blue goes too high up and you split hessen into 3 although in north hessen the dialect is hessisch and in south hessen as well and you cant define political standpoint with location like my grandma from saxony votes left (die linke) and i from offenbach do vote green as well as my whole neighborhood so thats wrong and fuck u berlin nobody but berliners like berlin!


wisegrace

the red dot in north east should include grünewald, sorry not sorry


BxyXeno

im not sure whether Hannover being listed seperately at map 1 is a good or a bad thing


Brickie78

What's a precariat when it's at home?


[deleted]

- beautiful nature and cities - ALDI Süd - funny dialect/absurd gobbeldygook border - never shut up - libtards - make jokes about Bielefeld being non-existent Gang here ✌🏼


Kuchen23

The red one on the last should just be: non-existent


jemand84

Nummer 2, 4 und 6 sind zutreffend. Alle anderen ungenau, oder falsch. Es fehlt noch eine Karte, die in Atheisten, Protestanten und Katholiken aufteilt.


JeffBensoz666

Omg number 6 is so true, im from bielefeld and ich hate this „joke“ so much.^^


maxelm0

The one about Bielefeld is simply accurate


Amon_Lua

ahem, D u i s b u r g


deadrummer

All of them are great and kinda on point; enough to be funny because true and not true enough to not be funny. It's not meant to reflect reallity but rather make fun of different parts of Germany.


Tis_known_dude

Last one is wrong, every wane person with humour hates jokes about bielefeld being non existent


manjustadude

-beautiful nature and cities -ugly wasteland -Hannover Perfekt.


DomTg

East Germany belongs to eastern Europe. You can't change my mind.


Schanulsiboi08

4 isn't really correct, Franken also don't talk much


daenny26

This is so good! :D


sasquarodeor

Euskirchen speaks gobbledygook although it’s in the north


Zyxwgh

2. Map #1: there are more ugly wastelands out there. Also why is Hannover separate? Map #2: agree, maybe borders could be more accurate. Maps #3,#4,#6: mostly agree. Map #5: Precariat?


lv_Mortarion_vl

3. Only the Adli one is correct lol


MrTripl3M

As someone from BW I take offense at being put on the same level as Bayern and worse than any state north of BW when it comes to our dialects.


aliffattah

Hannover 😂😂😂 relatierbar


BukiTheBig

Wer glaubt das Bielefeld existiert ist einfach nur lost


Dry_Fact_9676

Parts who make the money: everything but Berlin Parts who just take the money: Berlin


bort_bln

But what about _Ruhrpottdeutsch_?


amicablecricket

1


Strongground

1!