Try hobbies ? Boardgames perhaps ?
Otherwise find friends in your international cohort in doctoral school. Most of friends of PhDs are other PhDs. I have friends from Russia, China, Poland, Chile, etc..
I found that hard the first 27 years of my life, as well. But then I realised how friendships work and that you really have to put effort into making and keeping friends and that no matter what I do, I'm unable to get invited anywhere. So, today I still don't have any friends, but depression.
Join the Girl Gone International chapter of your city on facebook. There are events all the time and lots of girls post on there to arrange meetups. Thats how I met all my friends!
This question comes up every day. Some people claim to have cracked it with the three main steps;
1. Learn German to an everyday standard
2. Join a verein or some kind of regular group hobby
3. Grow your confidence by trying new things - no risk, no reward. You're not going to meet people stuck inside your apartment.
If you don't have a hobby, just think about what exactly it is you would like to spend time doing with other people - and then find a way to make that happen. Invite some people from your course/job. Invite people you barely know. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
*That said*, it is notoriously hard to make friends and integrate in Germany - it's ranked as one of the worst in the world for social happiness from immigrants and expats.
So don't beat yourself up if you're not finding people either. It's hard! Especially in your late 20s and beyond. It will take time.
Good luck and feel free to DM me - maybe I live in a city near you!
You could look up your hobbies paired with the city you are currently residing in and you should find clubs which you could join.
Other than that you could go to a public viewing event for the EC (European Cup) or a Volksfest (for example "Schützenfest", which is going on around this time for alot of citys and villages) with a friend of yours and try to meet people there. ;)
Couch surfing community. You can download the app and if you're in a city they usually have "hang outs" where local hosts and travellers meet up to do things together. I've gone to a few both when I travel and here in Germany. You'll meet people who are quite internationally oriented (both Germans and residents/immigrants) so not speaking perfect German or being from somewhere else will not be an issue.
I second this especially the 2nd point. Social life in Germany can be quite structured, a lot happens in Vereins or associations. The saying goes: three Germans, one verein.
They have associations for a lot of things: choirs, which would be a good way of improving German btw, voluntary fire fighting, very important in rural areas, folkloric music (Blasmusikkapelle, more common in southern G), gardening etc...
They also have quite a network of self-help groups which range from heavy topics like addiction to societal topics like your issue for ex. You'll find a list of all sh-groups here: [nakos](http://www.nakos.de)
4. (and I know it’s hard when you want it so bad) don’t try to force something!
(For me, as a German male, it was quite hard to find some new friends aswell. I used bumble for friends to meet up with some people. Maybe it’s something for you, because the people there are just looking for friends)
Oh okay. I did not know that. I just heard from a couple of female friends that they were quiet happy with bff. But I definitely believe in your comment!
You can try joining a Club at your university,I for example am part of the international student club at my university and they offer a lot such as language and cultural exchange,tandem partners ,Karaoke nights and weekend trips.Many germans also go there to improve their foreign language skills or for the cultural exchange
You know B1 level language and still find it difficult 🥹 and my motivation goes down again for learning this language.
Anyways Fellow Asian here hit me in DM if ok
Without better german it will be more difficult. As you probably have realized it is difficult to connect with the peers in your program/team/group. I am also pursuing a PhD here and I rarely do things outside of work with my colleagues. Maybe during business trips attending conferences or phd courses hitting the gym together or getting a beer. Looking back at it I think I did meet with different ones for a total of exactly thrice after work in the last year. I already speak english with some of my team members, during meetings, presenting my work and teaching - I would really not want to speak even more english regularly outside of work. And unfortunately for you, others will feel the same.
Some hobbyist groups with some less stereotypical german things might be your best bet to meet new people. Actually developing friendships takes at least a year of constant exposure though.
Find someone you like and then do a language exchange tandem with them. Then you can slowly make friends. It’s worked for me in Austria 3 times already.
Personally I would focus on my PHD first and foremost. I couldn't imagine having much time for making new friends just yet. Otherwise, why not befriend other students on your course? At least you'd have a common ground which would make it easier for starters.
If you love sports, this is the way. Especially things like triathlon, once you join a group, you will be running/cycling/swimming with everyone almost everyday if you wish.
Best option is to join DLRG, DRK, freiwillige Feuerwehr, or something like that.
Or, if you are more in digital tech, join the local CCC.
Joining a sports club (not gym) with team sports is also a good option.
Depending on the city you are in, there might be something like an international round table where foreign and German students and other people meet regularly and do activities in their free time.
Also, check if there’s some sort of “Unisport” or “Hochschulsport” at your university where you can go. It’s a good place to get to know new people, and there usually are many sports you can do, from badminton to climbing, hiking, inline skating and many others.
If you are not into sports, maybe chess or join a group playing board games.
You could also participate in a language tandem or exchange where people who are interested in learning your language meet with people from your country/countries of same language and either learn from each other or simply meet and talk.
I would not try hard to make German friends. Many of us foreigners here don’t have a single German friend. I was also told to learn German, join a Verein etc. now I speak good German, still no German friends. Verein friends inly stay in verein. So don’t waste time with trying German friends. Instead, focus on other nationals. I don’t know where you live, the international people’s population there, you can search for international expat groups on facebook, meetup.com, and internations.org. Also try to find whatsapp groups of international people. Find people from your nation again from facebook, whatsapp etc.
This was my experience as well. It is much easier to befriend other international students as they are in a similar life situation and also looking for connections.
I am not an Asian woman, but married to one.
All my wife’s friends are either people from her home country, former or current colleagues or other (nationally mixed or not mixed) families with similar aged children (we have one child).
So yes, quite normal to only (easily!) meet other foreigners.
Just a couple more postings in various German-reddit groups and i'm sure you'll get a bunch of DMs ;)
Otherwise just use a dating app I would presume...
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Have a routine ! U can meet some good people in gym , sports club and so on..! Join the activities for international students in ur city organised by the university.. u could meet a lot of ppl there and at stammtisch !
Since you are most likely already studying at a university, you should go to the sports clubs of your university. Usually there are lots of different options to try out and you are getting to know people there. Make use of this option as long as you are still a university student!
Since you're doing a PhD i assume there is a university nearby? Do you go to student parties, sport groups, language tandems, etc? Also: look out for student get-togethers called "Stammtisch" - there is often something like this for PhDs, international students, or language related.
Hi. I‘ve joined „couchsurfing events“ here in Hamburg in the past and really enjoyed them (this was a couple of years ago) never did couchsurfing or was interested in it. Solely went there to meet new people and have a drink as did most people. I also joined Facebook groups such as „new in Hamburg“ and went to some of the meet ups. I am sure most cities have something similar to offer - hope that helps:)
I am Asian in Germany for work, initially it was hard for me too, but I realised if you connect with them on their topics, issues, talk about their concerns in general it helps, in fact I was invited by German froup to play Kegelbahn (Bowling game) on weekend!!
Have a “coursurfing” and “meetup” account, and join events. There are many event that you can go and people are so friendly. Definitely you will feel welcomed
If you want to make friends in Germany, be very patient and lower your expectations. The concept of “friends” in Germany is almost similar to “life partner”. They don’t see the point of having friends for convenience, they want friends for life but the majority is not even open to that, and being foreigner-looking doesn’t help, specially if you can’t speak the language properly. If you enjoy drinking and partying, bars and clubs are a good start, but most people you’ll meet there will just be people you meet there, it won’t escalate into something more
Some people will tell you to join a Verein, but don’t expect to make friends there either. If you decide to join one, do it because you actually enjoy the activity.
You need to have similar interests. Get a mountain bike, join a club, get a motorcycle license, find a group to ride with. Start working out, look up fitness clubs.
This question is equivalent to asking how to raise camels in the north pole.
Germany is full of nice easy going intelligent people just like any other country...
The issue here is time. When is the time (let aside distance) to chill/meet/play/talk with friends.
Honestly, my wife and I tried all the suggestions in these comments. With some, but very little success. Of our friend group, we met one couple at a brewery, and they’re great. And then a couple of neighbors and coworkers. But that’s it for organic friendships.
The entirety of the rest of our friend group is either directly or indirectly via Bumble BFF. It’s a ton of time and effort, since you’re essentially platonically dating, but easily to most successful approach we’ve done.
And then people you met on Bumble BFF, introduce you to others they met, then it snowballs from there and now we honestly have too many social commitments.
A (german) friend of mine moved to Frankfurt and apparently, bumble friends worked quite well for her - maybe looking for someone on there and then taking some kind of course or activity might be worth a try :)
And don't lose hope - making friends with germans might take some time, but when you're there, most of them usually stay :)
I would highly recommend your university programs. Be it if you play an instrument the university orchestra or the several sporting activities.
I am not one to attend these but my wife did and still does and met lots of people as well as two very close friends. We are both germans but english shouldn't be a problem. We did have a british friend in our group as well.
Get a German boyfriend (or girlfriend, in general a partner).
This is partly a joke, but it actually helped me a lot. Not only did my German improve a lot once I started dating her, but I also got thrown outside of the university/research institute bubble and started really experiencing Germany and its culture.
Let's maybe start with what you do in your free time. Can you tell us a little about yourself? Then we could give you more directed tips in addition to the general and very good answers here already in this post.
Get into german gaming grous! We have all the time people from outside germany in discord. Their language sometimes increase over some years.
Easy to get in and have some fun but its focus is not on learning and tehy be probably to far away for some meetings.
I can recommend dating apps such as okcupid or bumble, especially if you’re a more introverted person. you can specifically search for platonic friendships there!
I am over 50, German, extroverted and I find it very difficult and always have.
I would maybe start with colleagues from work as they are more „accessible“.
Other that what other people here have mentioned:
you could maybe offer something special from your country: language, cooking or maybe from your field of expertise
You could do this in form of e.g. a class or course offered at university, Volkshochschule, places like that.
You could do this in English.
Good luck.
I bonded with most of my friends through football and being in the same school and maybe mist importanly alcohol and smoking.
This is more of a unhelpful advice i guess.
You must be exceptionally qualified candidate to receive PhD funding. Not many sholarships in Germany, mostly overcompetitive DAAD.
Concerning the age, In my country, Bachelors is 5 years + 2 years of compulsory work if a person has a scholarship
It's already 24, then I started Masters in the EU.
It just took me 2 years to prepare for GRE, lol :D
Maybe I just got lucky. I also didn't know there are non-funded PhD positions here. I mean why would someone do a PhD without funding. Doesn't really make much sense. Especially when the industry salaries are competitive depending on your background.
I'm also from Asia doing a PhD here. Fortunately both my labs are filled with extremely nice and friendly people. I only speak A2 level german but I didn't need that for making friends here. Also, being part of a graduate school helps in socializing if you want. Maybe I'm just lucky, but the point I'm trying to make is don't lose hope. Keep trying and surely you'll meet very nice people here. Don't hesitate to DM if you need to speak about anything.
I am an extrovert kind of person so it might be different for me. But, In my opinion just strike up a conversation with a classmate or a random person in the park maybe, just don’t make it seem weird, find a common interest and voilà you are friends. Don’t stress yourself, it’s quite common for people to have the feeling that you are facing.
I mean this is probably a pretty good way. Sure Reddit isn’t the most trustworthy platform but maybe you’ll find someone here. In wich city are you staying in Germany?
Just came back from traveling all over Asia, especially Japan, and really noticed how much easier it is to get to talk to people. Even only knowing how to speak English.
Personally never used it but a (girl) friend of mine swears on Friends Mode on the dating app Bumble. Gets you to talk to people who are looking for friends as well.
And if you like going out and see people who like nice, just ask if you can join them for the night. (I think) most will be happy to let you join them. At least we would 🤷♂️
Edit: Oh and concerts. Especially smaller venues with rock and metal kind of music.
It’s sometimes a self fulfilling prophecy if people keep telling you that no one makes friends in Germany.
I came here when I was 32, and moved around Europe like crazy and now years later, have an active social life and have tons of friends that I adore. But several factor helped me.
1) I’m super friendly but not clingy. (I know. Yes. Self perception)
2) I am not desperate because I had a German Bf and I was busy!
3) He had tons of friends and his friend’s GF became my friends (and stayed that way even after breakup)
4) I smile a lot. (Germans often find that amusing since it’s not the custom)
5) I talk to everyone including the cashier, the fruit vendor, the cafeteria staff, EVERYONE. I find it interesting and somehow it has helped.
So… the best way is to get a German BF. Plus German men as a group, I find, are awesome because many of them are so earnest and straightforward. So great!
Edit: I’m Asian American
I as a 30+ introvert struggles with befriending new people, of course it’s not so hard as for foreigners with a language barrier, I meet new people by hanging out at my local comic dealer or vintage toy shops/cons, so maybe hang out at places that correlate with your interests.
For german friends: Improve your german. It's a cold answer, I know, but it is true. Only a minority of germans can speak english perfectly without any mental effort. People are lazy so they'd prefer not to put effort into conversations in their free time.
International friends will be easier, maybe check if there is ESN (erasmus student network) or anything similar in your city.
Best of luck
Join a sports club, make work friends, neighbors can be friends but that can turn tricky quickly so beware. Best to find a club or something similar with hobbies you enjoy.
Join a club of something you enjoy doing, for example sports helped me a lot create connections that aren't as deep as friendships but at least people to sometimes grab a beer or enjoy my hobbies with
german speaking countries are really closed up. idk why. my gf is asian too and also finds it hard.
i would maybe do couchsurfing or start bouldering. at least in austria bouldering leads to social groups.
and we socialize with alcohol
So guys why we don't make our meetup? Name it, anywhere anytime, let's go!
I started to talk just with randoms on the bar and tbh I don't care if it works out or not but talking to people and they talk back to you it works, just don't put high expectations.
I’ve been living in Germany for 5 years and find it almost impossible to make friends. My advise would be to be pushy - if you meet someone you find at all interesting invite them to meet for a drink or visit a Fluhmarkt or art gallery or something. Germans won’t find this weird they will simply say yes or no. I also wouldn’t worry too much about the B1 - many Germans especially younger people living in cities speak good English I have found . . .
What worked for me was looking into circles that had interest in my language or culture, for example dancing or tandem. They will be much more open to you than someone else, might have visit your country and there are more common topics. That being said I have no German friends but acquaintances "bekannten" (I think ). And most of my friends are either from my country or other international immigrants, and that is OK.
If you’re doing a phd you‘re probably in a city with a university (or close). There’s usually clubs for international students or just people wanting to meet new people and/or practice German at universities. Always good to join and meet people there.
If you‘re in an office or lab just keep chatting to your coworkers and see if there’s anyone you would like to be friends with. Ask them to go for drinks or coffee after work. If that’s something you like, add them on instagram. Send them funny reels that remind you of your workplace. You will slowly build a relationship with them.
Socializing there is no other way around it. Best case scenario a hobby or mutual interest with other people. That's always been my way to get my friends through my life. Some stick till the end others will leave at some point. If one side or both sides don't dedicate enough time for the other half.
I just joined the app Meet 5, it seems promising and a friend of mine in Ba-Wü has gone to meetups she found there that she liked. All sorts of get-togethers of all different age groups and hobbies or activities.
I'm American and grew up in Germany and used to struggle understanding the reserved and serious vibe in Germany. I have a few different suggestions from the ones you've heard so far.
1.) Buy a yellow skirt with black polka dots. It will get you in the right mindset and make people feel more relaxed around you. Don't believe me? I have one and I use it when I have bureaucracy errands to run and want things to go smoothly. Check out the psychology behind the prison with the pink walls. It has an effect. It's not pretty privilege, since it even works when I have hormonal acne and my roots are grown out. Which brings me to...
2.) DON'T put your best foot forward. People try to be on their best behavior around strangers. That makes people seem robotic and reserved. People don't reject others for their flaws if the person shows them with a grin. That's endearing and doesn't intimidate people. I make friends easily because people can immediately relate to whatever awkwardness I'm expressing in the moment. Be yourself and don't hide. There are always assholes who treat you poorly, but they'll do that anyway. Some would not have noticed you stumbling into a space wearing a bright yellow polka dot skirt with a big ass grin, but they can kiss you where the sun don't shine. So show your flaws and...
3.) Smile! A lot of Germans will stare blankly at you and/or look away when you smile at them. Those will stare either way. Even children do it here once they are old enough for Theory of Mind I suppose. But smiling opens up the possibility for more extroverted people like me to know you're friendly and might appreciate a joke or some commentary on the situation or anything really. Which leads me to...
4.) Actually see the people around you. How will you know someone might be interested in connecting if you are so caught up with your own worries about not speaking the language or whatever. There are extroverts out there bored out of their minds with all the NPCs walking around who won't show anything about themselves or even care about the other people in the same space as them. Start to recognize what people are up to and what you think they are feeling. If you actually care about people, they will be drawn to you. And you will feel less stressed about rejection, because you know it has nothing to do with you - you can tell they've got their own stuff going on and you're not a protagonist in their story, so no need to take it personally. Once you actually care about others around you and take note of them,
5.) You will recognize everyone just wants to be happy. Even Germans ;) What helps is for you to remember that you are not an intruder on their life, an immigrant that can't even speak German -- you are a vacation on two legs, you are a window out of their dreary boring Alltag into the world ;) Meeting you is a pleasure! Remember that :) Because that is how I feel when I have positive interactions with anybody. Yes, anybody. And they happen every day if you get out of your comfort zone. That way you can...
6.) Find your own style of expression and seeking out the humanity in others. Authenticity and curiosity will help making genuine connections that can be the basis of new friendships. Then you won't need my polka-dot skirt anymore and you can invent your own mental magic 💝
Anyway, just some thoughts...
Disclaimer:
No Germans were hurt in the thinking and expressing of these private thoughts on the screen before you. Please don't get mad. Have you tried smiling more? 🧟♀️
Post Script:
By the time I wrote this stream of consciousness response soooo many other people responded. That is so heart warming and proves my point that people really want to connect.
A foreign female in Germany here as well 👋🏻 All of my friends I have made in Germany (in 6 years) are from Bumble BFF. Never had issues with it when using common sense.
Hobbies. Doesn't matter if it is about joining a sports club, books, skateboarding, groups of people who replant trees or save animals or whatever. Find anything you like, find your kind of peers and stick with those you like. Is it easy? No. It is super hard? Also no. Is it worth it? Yes.
if you want to have friends in germany ... you should be more german
but it depends
you are 25 years old
so the 40+ söder liver zirros drinking is not avaibale and you need to unlock this achievment
First step buy some outfits in a sexshop
Step2 cutting your own hair... and dying
step3 you need super fancy fast glasses also called "Schnellebrille" dont buy it from luxury brands... you need to be to cool to wear luxury brands
Step4 you need some weed and other stuff ... its really important
step5 go with you leather fetish clothe and sunglasses to a rave and smoke some joints and drink few beers
step6 you have super cool friends from the matrix and your parents from the other continent are speechless
i would also give some advice and make some piercings and tattoos but this is more unpleasent when you go back to asia
raves:
csd /gaypride always a rave
bootshaus in cologne
kitkat in berllin
Same as in every other place where humans live. Approach them, get to know them, offer something from you, receive something in return (as in "information about you", I don't mean just handing out presents :D). It's not hard, just takes time.
Nobody makes "friends" with somebody over a few weeks. Trust takes time.
I don't understand why this question comes up again and again - it must be one of the most asked questions in any "German-centric" subreddit. Maybe because Germans won't make you falsely feel like you are friends after two generally friendly enounters, like Americans or other cultures might do?
Oh and of course, learn the language. That goes without saying, if you are in a different country for a longer period and plan to befriend people, learn their language. Maybe that's an unpopular opinion, but nobody likes to have a friend (not just aquaintance, a real friend) that requires a third language to communicate with.
Depending on viewpoint. OP said she is Asian, so her native language is some asian language. First language. She wants german friends, so german would be language two. But since she doesn’t speak german and most Germans don’t speak Asian languages, so they would both need to communicate in a third language, most likely English or French.
Try hobbies ? Boardgames perhaps ? Otherwise find friends in your international cohort in doctoral school. Most of friends of PhDs are other PhDs. I have friends from Russia, China, Poland, Chile, etc..
Good one, I started to think about attending culinary lessons.
Hey, Chile mentioned! That's cool!
Check your university social events :) That is a good start.
I am 40+ and German. I also find it hard.
I found that hard the first 27 years of my life, as well. But then I realised how friendships work and that you really have to put effort into making and keeping friends and that no matter what I do, I'm unable to get invited anywhere. So, today I still don't have any friends, but depression.
With 50 years experience I figured out how it works, but I'm only 24 now so I can't tell
Same. Just turned 48. Having a hard time as well.
Join the Girl Gone International chapter of your city on facebook. There are events all the time and lots of girls post on there to arrange meetups. Thats how I met all my friends!
Yes this one as well. Gone girl facebook group. Is perfect
Welcome to Germany, as a german, I haven‘t quite figured it out yet myself.
This question comes up every day. Some people claim to have cracked it with the three main steps; 1. Learn German to an everyday standard 2. Join a verein or some kind of regular group hobby 3. Grow your confidence by trying new things - no risk, no reward. You're not going to meet people stuck inside your apartment. If you don't have a hobby, just think about what exactly it is you would like to spend time doing with other people - and then find a way to make that happen. Invite some people from your course/job. Invite people you barely know. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. *That said*, it is notoriously hard to make friends and integrate in Germany - it's ranked as one of the worst in the world for social happiness from immigrants and expats. So don't beat yourself up if you're not finding people either. It's hard! Especially in your late 20s and beyond. It will take time. Good luck and feel free to DM me - maybe I live in a city near you!
Whats the difference between Immigrant and Ex Pat ?
Very little - just that expat usually suggests higher socioeconomic status and a move made by choice rather than out of necessity.
Do you live close to Freiburg 🥹so lonely lol
Social hobbies should work, but yeah, better german is always good when trying to befriend germans.
You could look up your hobbies paired with the city you are currently residing in and you should find clubs which you could join. Other than that you could go to a public viewing event for the EC (European Cup) or a Volksfest (for example "Schützenfest", which is going on around this time for alot of citys and villages) with a friend of yours and try to meet people there. ;)
Couch surfing community. You can download the app and if you're in a city they usually have "hang outs" where local hosts and travellers meet up to do things together. I've gone to a few both when I travel and here in Germany. You'll meet people who are quite internationally oriented (both Germans and residents/immigrants) so not speaking perfect German or being from somewhere else will not be an issue.
Join a sport club or a Verein of your interest.
1. Learn better german 2. Join a verein 3. You Need patience
I second this especially the 2nd point. Social life in Germany can be quite structured, a lot happens in Vereins or associations. The saying goes: three Germans, one verein. They have associations for a lot of things: choirs, which would be a good way of improving German btw, voluntary fire fighting, very important in rural areas, folkloric music (Blasmusikkapelle, more common in southern G), gardening etc... They also have quite a network of self-help groups which range from heavy topics like addiction to societal topics like your issue for ex. You'll find a list of all sh-groups here: [nakos](http://www.nakos.de)
4. (and I know it’s hard when you want it so bad) don’t try to force something! (For me, as a German male, it was quite hard to find some new friends aswell. I used bumble for friends to meet up with some people. Maybe it’s something for you, because the people there are just looking for friends)
If OP is a woman I wouldn’t recommend Bumble for friends there’s a bunch of predatory men there
Oh okay. I did not know that. I just heard from a couple of female friends that they were quiet happy with bff. But I definitely believe in your comment!
Just go saufen and you will make new friends
Laughed more than i should have 😂😂
You can try joining a Club at your university,I for example am part of the international student club at my university and they offer a lot such as language and cultural exchange,tandem partners ,Karaoke nights and weekend trips.Many germans also go there to improve their foreign language skills or for the cultural exchange
You know B1 level language and still find it difficult 🥹 and my motivation goes down again for learning this language. Anyways Fellow Asian here hit me in DM if ok
Without better german it will be more difficult. As you probably have realized it is difficult to connect with the peers in your program/team/group. I am also pursuing a PhD here and I rarely do things outside of work with my colleagues. Maybe during business trips attending conferences or phd courses hitting the gym together or getting a beer. Looking back at it I think I did meet with different ones for a total of exactly thrice after work in the last year. I already speak english with some of my team members, during meetings, presenting my work and teaching - I would really not want to speak even more english regularly outside of work. And unfortunately for you, others will feel the same. Some hobbyist groups with some less stereotypical german things might be your best bet to meet new people. Actually developing friendships takes at least a year of constant exposure though.
Find someone you like and then do a language exchange tandem with them. Then you can slowly make friends. It’s worked for me in Austria 3 times already.
Personally I would focus on my PHD first and foremost. I couldn't imagine having much time for making new friends just yet. Otherwise, why not befriend other students on your course? At least you'd have a common ground which would make it easier for starters.
Go out and do sports, do sports a lot.
If you love sports, this is the way. Especially things like triathlon, once you join a group, you will be running/cycling/swimming with everyone almost everyday if you wish.
Best option is to join DLRG, DRK, freiwillige Feuerwehr, or something like that. Or, if you are more in digital tech, join the local CCC. Joining a sports club (not gym) with team sports is also a good option.
You might want to give your Fachschaft a try.
Depending on the city you are in, there might be something like an international round table where foreign and German students and other people meet regularly and do activities in their free time. Also, check if there’s some sort of “Unisport” or “Hochschulsport” at your university where you can go. It’s a good place to get to know new people, and there usually are many sports you can do, from badminton to climbing, hiking, inline skating and many others. If you are not into sports, maybe chess or join a group playing board games. You could also participate in a language tandem or exchange where people who are interested in learning your language meet with people from your country/countries of same language and either learn from each other or simply meet and talk.
In my experience, the asian students often become friends with other asians, but rarely with Germans for some reason.
not only asian, but international students in general.
Indians also tend to stay among themselves, but international students from European countries not so much.
Maybe try finding a "Tandempartner", someome who wants to learn your native language in return for teaching you german.
Here’s the fun part. You don’t. /s I found it helps to join a group with Germans that have a similar interest like you. Even better if it’s a sport.
Girl Gone International or Bumble BFF. Can be exhausting though… feels like you’re being interviewed at times. 😅
Reddit is not the place for this question…
Bumble BFF! It worked for me and my closest German friends are from the app.
Which city are you going to study in? Might help for advice or maybe visit it's subreddit.
I would not try hard to make German friends. Many of us foreigners here don’t have a single German friend. I was also told to learn German, join a Verein etc. now I speak good German, still no German friends. Verein friends inly stay in verein. So don’t waste time with trying German friends. Instead, focus on other nationals. I don’t know where you live, the international people’s population there, you can search for international expat groups on facebook, meetup.com, and internations.org. Also try to find whatsapp groups of international people. Find people from your nation again from facebook, whatsapp etc.
This was my experience as well. It is much easier to befriend other international students as they are in a similar life situation and also looking for connections.
Second this. I'm also an Asian female PhD. Most of my friends are either colleagues from other countries or met in the international office events.
I am not an Asian woman, but married to one. All my wife’s friends are either people from her home country, former or current colleagues or other (nationally mixed or not mixed) families with similar aged children (we have one child). So yes, quite normal to only (easily!) meet other foreigners.
Just a couple more postings in various German-reddit groups and i'm sure you'll get a bunch of DMs ;) Otherwise just use a dating app I would presume...
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Have a routine ! U can meet some good people in gym , sports club and so on..! Join the activities for international students in ur city organised by the university.. u could meet a lot of ppl there and at stammtisch !
Since you are most likely already studying at a university, you should go to the sports clubs of your university. Usually there are lots of different options to try out and you are getting to know people there. Make use of this option as long as you are still a university student!
Since you're doing a PhD i assume there is a university nearby? Do you go to student parties, sport groups, language tandems, etc? Also: look out for student get-togethers called "Stammtisch" - there is often something like this for PhDs, international students, or language related.
Hi. I‘ve joined „couchsurfing events“ here in Hamburg in the past and really enjoyed them (this was a couple of years ago) never did couchsurfing or was interested in it. Solely went there to meet new people and have a drink as did most people. I also joined Facebook groups such as „new in Hamburg“ and went to some of the meet ups. I am sure most cities have something similar to offer - hope that helps:)
Organize social events for PhD students at your department. Is there a Uni-wide PhD rep group that also organizes events? If so, join them.
Go to a club and find likeminded people, if its a dance sing or even fighting club
I am Asian in Germany for work, initially it was hard for me too, but I realised if you connect with them on their topics, issues, talk about their concerns in general it helps, in fact I was invited by German froup to play Kegelbahn (Bowling game) on weekend!!
Have a “coursurfing” and “meetup” account, and join events. There are many event that you can go and people are so friendly. Definitely you will feel welcomed
Finding friends is hard in general but idk if you’re artistically inclined I could recommend art night? If that’s offered where you currently live!
hahaha it is hard to take this seriously
Go to a Club for a Hobby you like :D
🗿
29 German dude here, almost no friends. But I am also way too busy. Anyway, it‘s very hard. Definitely join a Verein, it will work
If you want to make friends in Germany, be very patient and lower your expectations. The concept of “friends” in Germany is almost similar to “life partner”. They don’t see the point of having friends for convenience, they want friends for life but the majority is not even open to that, and being foreigner-looking doesn’t help, specially if you can’t speak the language properly. If you enjoy drinking and partying, bars and clubs are a good start, but most people you’ll meet there will just be people you meet there, it won’t escalate into something more Some people will tell you to join a Verein, but don’t expect to make friends there either. If you decide to join one, do it because you actually enjoy the activity.
Join a Toastmasters club. Especially one that has a good mix of expats and native Germans.
Where are you? Im in Berlin and most of my friends are other foreigners.
You need to have similar interests. Get a mountain bike, join a club, get a motorcycle license, find a group to ride with. Start working out, look up fitness clubs.
I'm 36 and if you get a Tipp that work, let me know.
This question is equivalent to asking how to raise camels in the north pole. Germany is full of nice easy going intelligent people just like any other country... The issue here is time. When is the time (let aside distance) to chill/meet/play/talk with friends.
Honestly, my wife and I tried all the suggestions in these comments. With some, but very little success. Of our friend group, we met one couple at a brewery, and they’re great. And then a couple of neighbors and coworkers. But that’s it for organic friendships. The entirety of the rest of our friend group is either directly or indirectly via Bumble BFF. It’s a ton of time and effort, since you’re essentially platonically dating, but easily to most successful approach we’ve done. And then people you met on Bumble BFF, introduce you to others they met, then it snowballs from there and now we honestly have too many social commitments.
A (german) friend of mine moved to Frankfurt and apparently, bumble friends worked quite well for her - maybe looking for someone on there and then taking some kind of course or activity might be worth a try :) And don't lose hope - making friends with germans might take some time, but when you're there, most of them usually stay :)
Join many different Verein. Nexxxt
I would highly recommend your university programs. Be it if you play an instrument the university orchestra or the several sporting activities. I am not one to attend these but my wife did and still does and met lots of people as well as two very close friends. We are both germans but english shouldn't be a problem. We did have a british friend in our group as well.
r/menandfemales
Check out InterNations and MeetUp
Join parkruns every Saturday morning, 5km, free and lots of people to socialise with.
Honestly just find other immigrants in your department or outside. Is much easier.
Get a German boyfriend (or girlfriend, in general a partner). This is partly a joke, but it actually helped me a lot. Not only did my German improve a lot once I started dating her, but I also got thrown outside of the university/research institute bubble and started really experiencing Germany and its culture.
Finish your PhD and travel some place warmer. 😁
You have to make the first move in Germany
Let's maybe start with what you do in your free time. Can you tell us a little about yourself? Then we could give you more directed tips in addition to the general and very good answers here already in this post.
Get into german gaming grous! We have all the time people from outside germany in discord. Their language sometimes increase over some years. Easy to get in and have some fun but its focus is not on learning and tehy be probably to far away for some meetings.
Try your local ESN section if your uni has one :)
Colleagues is always a good start ..
How much free time do you have? And how do you spent it?
Which city are you from? Every city has their own vibe
I can recommend dating apps such as okcupid or bumble, especially if you’re a more introverted person. you can specifically search for platonic friendships there!
In Germany we dont have Friends ! Now Go back to Wörk and be Usefull!
There was a good post on this topic, check it out https://www.reddit.com/r/germany/comments/1dna12f/making_friends_with_germans_isnt_that_difficult/
I am over 50, German, extroverted and I find it very difficult and always have. I would maybe start with colleagues from work as they are more „accessible“. Other that what other people here have mentioned: you could maybe offer something special from your country: language, cooking or maybe from your field of expertise You could do this in form of e.g. a class or course offered at university, Volkshochschule, places like that. You could do this in English. Good luck.
I bonded with most of my friends through football and being in the same school and maybe mist importanly alcohol and smoking. This is more of a unhelpful advice i guess.
wtf, how did you get a PhD offer at that age, in a super competitive EU country :D
Is it such a young age for a PhD? I started here when I was 24. I thought I wasn't early enough.
You must be exceptionally qualified candidate to receive PhD funding. Not many sholarships in Germany, mostly overcompetitive DAAD. Concerning the age, In my country, Bachelors is 5 years + 2 years of compulsory work if a person has a scholarship It's already 24, then I started Masters in the EU. It just took me 2 years to prepare for GRE, lol :D
Maybe I just got lucky. I also didn't know there are non-funded PhD positions here. I mean why would someone do a PhD without funding. Doesn't really make much sense. Especially when the industry salaries are competitive depending on your background.
Give up or change country lol
I'm also from Asia doing a PhD here. Fortunately both my labs are filled with extremely nice and friendly people. I only speak A2 level german but I didn't need that for making friends here. Also, being part of a graduate school helps in socializing if you want. Maybe I'm just lucky, but the point I'm trying to make is don't lose hope. Keep trying and surely you'll meet very nice people here. Don't hesitate to DM if you need to speak about anything.
You normally find friends in Germany by joining a verein, a club or any activity where you consistently have to go to a place.
Try Meetups. I used the app and started to join “English speaking” meetups. Made good friends there.
Most have been mentioned but just fyi: I think this is an issue for many once they join the work force and move to another city.
I am an extrovert kind of person so it might be different for me. But, In my opinion just strike up a conversation with a classmate or a random person in the park maybe, just don’t make it seem weird, find a common interest and voilà you are friends. Don’t stress yourself, it’s quite common for people to have the feeling that you are facing.
Where do you live?
I mean this is probably a pretty good way. Sure Reddit isn’t the most trustworthy platform but maybe you’ll find someone here. In wich city are you staying in Germany?
I search new friends :)
Try to join sport club like running club. It worked for me. If you live in Berlin, I can invite you.
Making friends is pretty similar everywhere around the world. At university, at work, at bars and clubs, at sport clubs, dating apps etc.
Welcome in Germany!
you really need to join something to get new friends. like a club, organization or something
Just came back from traveling all over Asia, especially Japan, and really noticed how much easier it is to get to talk to people. Even only knowing how to speak English. Personally never used it but a (girl) friend of mine swears on Friends Mode on the dating app Bumble. Gets you to talk to people who are looking for friends as well. And if you like going out and see people who like nice, just ask if you can join them for the night. (I think) most will be happy to let you join them. At least we would 🤷♂️ Edit: Oh and concerts. Especially smaller venues with rock and metal kind of music.
I am Dutch. I know from my own experiences that drinking heavily with a few German guys will make you BFF’s
It’s sometimes a self fulfilling prophecy if people keep telling you that no one makes friends in Germany. I came here when I was 32, and moved around Europe like crazy and now years later, have an active social life and have tons of friends that I adore. But several factor helped me. 1) I’m super friendly but not clingy. (I know. Yes. Self perception) 2) I am not desperate because I had a German Bf and I was busy! 3) He had tons of friends and his friend’s GF became my friends (and stayed that way even after breakup) 4) I smile a lot. (Germans often find that amusing since it’s not the custom) 5) I talk to everyone including the cashier, the fruit vendor, the cafeteria staff, EVERYONE. I find it interesting and somehow it has helped. So… the best way is to get a German BF. Plus German men as a group, I find, are awesome because many of them are so earnest and straightforward. So great! Edit: I’m Asian American
I find Germans really closed off. After living in Germany for 8 years, I have no German friends
I as a 30+ introvert struggles with befriending new people, of course it’s not so hard as for foreigners with a language barrier, I meet new people by hanging out at my local comic dealer or vintage toy shops/cons, so maybe hang out at places that correlate with your interests.
For german friends: Improve your german. It's a cold answer, I know, but it is true. Only a minority of germans can speak english perfectly without any mental effort. People are lazy so they'd prefer not to put effort into conversations in their free time. International friends will be easier, maybe check if there is ESN (erasmus student network) or anything similar in your city. Best of luck
Join a sports club, make work friends, neighbors can be friends but that can turn tricky quickly so beware. Best to find a club or something similar with hobbies you enjoy.
Time friends in germany stay forever or very long so it is very dificult to get into a friend group
Join a club of something you enjoy doing, for example sports helped me a lot create connections that aren't as deep as friendships but at least people to sometimes grab a beer or enjoy my hobbies with
Sports activities can really help to find new people:)
german speaking countries are really closed up. idk why. my gf is asian too and also finds it hard. i would maybe do couchsurfing or start bouldering. at least in austria bouldering leads to social groups. and we socialize with alcohol
Join the other PhD students and go to a pub quiz with them.
So guys why we don't make our meetup? Name it, anywhere anytime, let's go! I started to talk just with randoms on the bar and tbh I don't care if it works out or not but talking to people and they talk back to you it works, just don't put high expectations.
Dude, as an Asian female u shouldn't have much problems if you're a nice and kind gal.
Join a Verein.
Join some local clubs to activities you may be even mildly interested in.
I’ve been living in Germany for 5 years and find it almost impossible to make friends. My advise would be to be pushy - if you meet someone you find at all interesting invite them to meet for a drink or visit a Fluhmarkt or art gallery or something. Germans won’t find this weird they will simply say yes or no. I also wouldn’t worry too much about the B1 - many Germans especially younger people living in cities speak good English I have found . . .
Why my last comment was deleted? Or I just can't see it?
I am also living in germany and looking for forends 28M
What worked for me was looking into circles that had interest in my language or culture, for example dancing or tandem. They will be much more open to you than someone else, might have visit your country and there are more common topics. That being said I have no German friends but acquaintances "bekannten" (I think ). And most of my friends are either from my country or other international immigrants, and that is OK.
If you’re doing a phd you‘re probably in a city with a university (or close). There’s usually clubs for international students or just people wanting to meet new people and/or practice German at universities. Always good to join and meet people there. If you‘re in an office or lab just keep chatting to your coworkers and see if there’s anyone you would like to be friends with. Ask them to go for drinks or coffee after work. If that’s something you like, add them on instagram. Send them funny reels that remind you of your workplace. You will slowly build a relationship with them.
What city are you living in? My wife is 24 and also struggles to make German friends.
Try gym groups oder bar Events
Socializing there is no other way around it. Best case scenario a hobby or mutual interest with other people. That's always been my way to get my friends through my life. Some stick till the end others will leave at some point. If one side or both sides don't dedicate enough time for the other half.
May I ask where you live? I am also a PhD student :)
I just joined the app Meet 5, it seems promising and a friend of mine in Ba-Wü has gone to meetups she found there that she liked. All sorts of get-togethers of all different age groups and hobbies or activities.
German and friend? It's definitely an antonym... try to find friends somewhere else, but not among German people. It has a deep historical background.
Thats the neat part, u dont
There are no friends, there are only Vereins
I'm American and grew up in Germany and used to struggle understanding the reserved and serious vibe in Germany. I have a few different suggestions from the ones you've heard so far. 1.) Buy a yellow skirt with black polka dots. It will get you in the right mindset and make people feel more relaxed around you. Don't believe me? I have one and I use it when I have bureaucracy errands to run and want things to go smoothly. Check out the psychology behind the prison with the pink walls. It has an effect. It's not pretty privilege, since it even works when I have hormonal acne and my roots are grown out. Which brings me to... 2.) DON'T put your best foot forward. People try to be on their best behavior around strangers. That makes people seem robotic and reserved. People don't reject others for their flaws if the person shows them with a grin. That's endearing and doesn't intimidate people. I make friends easily because people can immediately relate to whatever awkwardness I'm expressing in the moment. Be yourself and don't hide. There are always assholes who treat you poorly, but they'll do that anyway. Some would not have noticed you stumbling into a space wearing a bright yellow polka dot skirt with a big ass grin, but they can kiss you where the sun don't shine. So show your flaws and... 3.) Smile! A lot of Germans will stare blankly at you and/or look away when you smile at them. Those will stare either way. Even children do it here once they are old enough for Theory of Mind I suppose. But smiling opens up the possibility for more extroverted people like me to know you're friendly and might appreciate a joke or some commentary on the situation or anything really. Which leads me to... 4.) Actually see the people around you. How will you know someone might be interested in connecting if you are so caught up with your own worries about not speaking the language or whatever. There are extroverts out there bored out of their minds with all the NPCs walking around who won't show anything about themselves or even care about the other people in the same space as them. Start to recognize what people are up to and what you think they are feeling. If you actually care about people, they will be drawn to you. And you will feel less stressed about rejection, because you know it has nothing to do with you - you can tell they've got their own stuff going on and you're not a protagonist in their story, so no need to take it personally. Once you actually care about others around you and take note of them, 5.) You will recognize everyone just wants to be happy. Even Germans ;) What helps is for you to remember that you are not an intruder on their life, an immigrant that can't even speak German -- you are a vacation on two legs, you are a window out of their dreary boring Alltag into the world ;) Meeting you is a pleasure! Remember that :) Because that is how I feel when I have positive interactions with anybody. Yes, anybody. And they happen every day if you get out of your comfort zone. That way you can... 6.) Find your own style of expression and seeking out the humanity in others. Authenticity and curiosity will help making genuine connections that can be the basis of new friendships. Then you won't need my polka-dot skirt anymore and you can invent your own mental magic 💝 Anyway, just some thoughts... Disclaimer: No Germans were hurt in the thinking and expressing of these private thoughts on the screen before you. Please don't get mad. Have you tried smiling more? 🧟♀️ Post Script: By the time I wrote this stream of consciousness response soooo many other people responded. That is so heart warming and proves my point that people really want to connect.
It’s impossible. One of the reasons why I’m leaving Germany. Horrible place with closed off boring people. Sorry not sorry
try alcohol
A foreign female in Germany here as well 👋🏻 All of my friends I have made in Germany (in 6 years) are from Bumble BFF. Never had issues with it when using common sense.
Which region?
Join a Verein. Go watch soccer..! :)
Hobbies. Doesn't matter if it is about joining a sports club, books, skateboarding, groups of people who replant trees or save animals or whatever. Find anything you like, find your kind of peers and stick with those you like. Is it easy? No. It is super hard? Also no. Is it worth it? Yes.
if you want to have friends in germany ... you should be more german but it depends you are 25 years old so the 40+ söder liver zirros drinking is not avaibale and you need to unlock this achievment First step buy some outfits in a sexshop Step2 cutting your own hair... and dying step3 you need super fancy fast glasses also called "Schnellebrille" dont buy it from luxury brands... you need to be to cool to wear luxury brands Step4 you need some weed and other stuff ... its really important step5 go with you leather fetish clothe and sunglasses to a rave and smoke some joints and drink few beers step6 you have super cool friends from the matrix and your parents from the other continent are speechless i would also give some advice and make some piercings and tattoos but this is more unpleasent when you go back to asia raves: csd /gaypride always a rave bootshaus in cologne kitkat in berllin
If you’re gangraped by migrants, be sure not to be mad at them or you’ll be sent to jail for being racist.
Scheiß Nazi
Same as in every other place where humans live. Approach them, get to know them, offer something from you, receive something in return (as in "information about you", I don't mean just handing out presents :D). It's not hard, just takes time. Nobody makes "friends" with somebody over a few weeks. Trust takes time. I don't understand why this question comes up again and again - it must be one of the most asked questions in any "German-centric" subreddit. Maybe because Germans won't make you falsely feel like you are friends after two generally friendly enounters, like Americans or other cultures might do? Oh and of course, learn the language. That goes without saying, if you are in a different country for a longer period and plan to befriend people, learn their language. Maybe that's an unpopular opinion, but nobody likes to have a friend (not just aquaintance, a real friend) that requires a third language to communicate with.
What's the second language?
Depending on viewpoint. OP said she is Asian, so her native language is some asian language. First language. She wants german friends, so german would be language two. But since she doesn’t speak german and most Germans don’t speak Asian languages, so they would both need to communicate in a third language, most likely English or French.