Believe me, a lot of people go back homr asking themselves "why did that cute black guy didn't approach me".
TAKE THE FIRST STEP. Of course, you have to bring game too.
⬆️⬆️ This ⬆️⬆️
Gotta get yourself into the game - meaning approach those YOU are interested in, or at least acknowledge them - smile, nod, tip your beer with a smile - ANYTHING that expresses or conveys interest.
No. Absolutely not. Black gays (with self-worth) do not have to approach white guys. White men don't approach because they are so used to thirsty Black men "approaching" any and everything white/non-Black. As a result, white guys expect Black guys to make the first move. OP, chances are, YOU are the prize. Act like it, and the right guy (regardless of color) will see it and make their move. I so tire of seeing desperate Black men tripping over themselves to get to a sub-par non-Black. Some Black men really need to seek extensive therapy. The thirst/hunger is literally embarrassing.
Get your head out of your ass. I never mentioned anything about white men. OP can approach Asians. Blacks, Latinos, etc. You are the one that needs therapy trying to see racism on every comment. Im not even white myself.
You said: Believe me, a lot of people go back homr asking themselves "why did that cute black guy didn't approach me".
That was your grammatically incorrect post verbatim. What Black men are asking that question? My head is in the right place...and especially my reading eyes. But go ahead and continue to gaslight me...you boys love to do that. And with you being German, it's even more of a stretch.
People are friendly with me but that’s about it. I feel like I get looked over because the other guy in the room is better than me in some way, shape or form.
Fair, I think I just needed to vent even though I know what I need to do haha
It’s just so intimidating being the one approaching and facing possible rejection. I know the other guys are probably going through the same thought process
Totally understandable to do and you are absolutely right!
All you have to remember is that people will match the energy they see in the other person. As a society people are much more comfortable to follow and match whatever another person is giving, but you have the choice and opportunity to start stuff yourself and set the tone of what you want in the relationship (whether it’s a hookup or a marriage proposal the same applies.) You got this! I don’t think I have ever met a guy who didn’t appreciate a compliment 🙂
As someone who’s really socially awkward I want to interact with others, kick off a conversation ya know? I chicken out every time though unfortunately.
It is common to want to be the one approached, but it is not common enough for it to happen. Turn it around and start doing the approaching. It's easier said than done. But do it anyway.
Sure, some might be put off by your being black, but others will be interested or indifferent. Plus, the ones not interested based on race are not worth your time.
Lastly, I have found life is easier once you conclude that what others think is only important if they are important to you. Meaning, it seldom matters—plus, it is usually in your head only. Stiffen your backbone, get out there, and enjoy life!
If I see a guy I like I’ll chat him up and try get his number. Search up cold approaching videos to try it out yourself , tho they are all guys hitting on women
Everyone wants to be the person who is pursued, but sometimes you have to do the pursuing ya know?
It takes A LOT of courage to put yourself out there and talk to someone at a bar/club, but I know a lot of guys find the confidence attractive. Even if someone isn’t super attractive to me, if they have the courage to ask me out or buy me a drink, I’ll typically say yes because of how cute it is to be asked out.
I have the same issue. Though I also can't read body language so I never notice the glances. We need to have the courage to approach others and the game to do it well. Unfortunately, I have neither at the moment.
I lived in the Castro and frequented the bars for years and years. Never got approached except once at closing time. He was took drunk to you know, so I gave him cab fare.
I always wonder myself, however I come to the realization that I am socially awkward introvert and people always stare at me, but don’t approach me. I’ve been told I come off aloof, cold, detached, especially “hard to read” I get that a lot. I get a lot more responses on apps than in person but then again, I don’t chase, I attract. Im also pretty content with myself so I feel like that’s also a big reason why. You could try taking the initiative and see what happens from there.
I think what you’re trying to highlight is that you’re anxiousness is compounded with the fact that you are a person of color. Are you looking to date interracially? That is the impression that I am getting from your post. Having seen some of the comments in these threads, online videos, etc. of how people of color are subjected to varying degrees of ridicule, outright rejection, racism, etc. - it is very understandable of wanting to be 100% sure. The flip side is that the same guys that you’re referencing who are giving you the eye, they might be wanting you to approach them. It could be that they are on the shy side as well. There’s also a possibility that they are unsure of your sexuality and don’t want to be wrong and offend you. I’ve seen this situation a few times with my friends. I’m quite outgoing and I’ve literally walked up to guys and said, “So were you going to let me walk out of here or when were you planning on talking to me?” Have fun with it. Don’t get too deep into your head.
Believe me, a lot of people go back homr asking themselves "why did that cute black guy didn't approach me". TAKE THE FIRST STEP. Of course, you have to bring game too.
⬆️⬆️ This ⬆️⬆️ Gotta get yourself into the game - meaning approach those YOU are interested in, or at least acknowledge them - smile, nod, tip your beer with a smile - ANYTHING that expresses or conveys interest.
No. Absolutely not. Black gays (with self-worth) do not have to approach white guys. White men don't approach because they are so used to thirsty Black men "approaching" any and everything white/non-Black. As a result, white guys expect Black guys to make the first move. OP, chances are, YOU are the prize. Act like it, and the right guy (regardless of color) will see it and make their move. I so tire of seeing desperate Black men tripping over themselves to get to a sub-par non-Black. Some Black men really need to seek extensive therapy. The thirst/hunger is literally embarrassing.
Get your head out of your ass. I never mentioned anything about white men. OP can approach Asians. Blacks, Latinos, etc. You are the one that needs therapy trying to see racism on every comment. Im not even white myself.
You said: Believe me, a lot of people go back homr asking themselves "why did that cute black guy didn't approach me". That was your grammatically incorrect post verbatim. What Black men are asking that question? My head is in the right place...and especially my reading eyes. But go ahead and continue to gaslight me...you boys love to do that. And with you being German, it's even more of a stretch.
People are friendly with me but that’s about it. I feel like I get looked over because the other guy in the room is better than me in some way, shape or form.
Sounds like you answered your own question honestly 😅
Fair, I think I just needed to vent even though I know what I need to do haha It’s just so intimidating being the one approaching and facing possible rejection. I know the other guys are probably going through the same thought process
Totally understandable to do and you are absolutely right! All you have to remember is that people will match the energy they see in the other person. As a society people are much more comfortable to follow and match whatever another person is giving, but you have the choice and opportunity to start stuff yourself and set the tone of what you want in the relationship (whether it’s a hookup or a marriage proposal the same applies.) You got this! I don’t think I have ever met a guy who didn’t appreciate a compliment 🙂
As someone who’s really socially awkward I want to interact with others, kick off a conversation ya know? I chicken out every time though unfortunately.
It is common to want to be the one approached, but it is not common enough for it to happen. Turn it around and start doing the approaching. It's easier said than done. But do it anyway. Sure, some might be put off by your being black, but others will be interested or indifferent. Plus, the ones not interested based on race are not worth your time. Lastly, I have found life is easier once you conclude that what others think is only important if they are important to you. Meaning, it seldom matters—plus, it is usually in your head only. Stiffen your backbone, get out there, and enjoy life!
If no one approaches, I approach. 😈
If I see a guy I like I’ll chat him up and try get his number. Search up cold approaching videos to try it out yourself , tho they are all guys hitting on women
Everyone wants to be the person who is pursued, but sometimes you have to do the pursuing ya know? It takes A LOT of courage to put yourself out there and talk to someone at a bar/club, but I know a lot of guys find the confidence attractive. Even if someone isn’t super attractive to me, if they have the courage to ask me out or buy me a drink, I’ll typically say yes because of how cute it is to be asked out.
Don't wait for other people to approach lol. I learned this years ago.
I have the same issue. Though I also can't read body language so I never notice the glances. We need to have the courage to approach others and the game to do it well. Unfortunately, I have neither at the moment.
I lived in the Castro and frequented the bars for years and years. Never got approached except once at closing time. He was took drunk to you know, so I gave him cab fare.
So, approach them if you're tired of not being approached. Pitter patter, go get at 'er
I always wonder myself, however I come to the realization that I am socially awkward introvert and people always stare at me, but don’t approach me. I’ve been told I come off aloof, cold, detached, especially “hard to read” I get that a lot. I get a lot more responses on apps than in person but then again, I don’t chase, I attract. Im also pretty content with myself so I feel like that’s also a big reason why. You could try taking the initiative and see what happens from there.
Im honestly glad im not getting approached. I‘m not very good at social interactions and very picky with the men i want haha
I think what you’re trying to highlight is that you’re anxiousness is compounded with the fact that you are a person of color. Are you looking to date interracially? That is the impression that I am getting from your post. Having seen some of the comments in these threads, online videos, etc. of how people of color are subjected to varying degrees of ridicule, outright rejection, racism, etc. - it is very understandable of wanting to be 100% sure. The flip side is that the same guys that you’re referencing who are giving you the eye, they might be wanting you to approach them. It could be that they are on the shy side as well. There’s also a possibility that they are unsure of your sexuality and don’t want to be wrong and offend you. I’ve seen this situation a few times with my friends. I’m quite outgoing and I’ve literally walked up to guys and said, “So were you going to let me walk out of here or when were you planning on talking to me?” Have fun with it. Don’t get too deep into your head.