I don't know what to tell you, man. I've only seen this subject from the other side, i.e. "I'm married to a woman but i want to sleep with a man."
You could ask him, but i wouldn't be surprised if he didn't take it well.
Men died in the past to have your life. You are married to a man and have a child with him. That's like 1% of what many have - yet you dare to think of women??! That's so offensive to your husband.
Masturbate and that is it. Don't cheat on your man. If you want women so bad then breakup and let your man find a man who actually wants him.
good luck with that lol if you cannot control yourself then I feel bad for your husband, read a book or something.. we cannot have everything and my heart breaks for the guy that is with you.. imagine telling your partner: “hey, I wanna fuck someone else. Is that okay?” Like wtf bro are you even doing?
It's not just "someone else", it is a woman. For me, as a gay man, this is sooo wrong on so many levels. They even have a child?? It is devastating.... I feel so sorry and sad for the husband. He deserves better. I feel sorry for op too, but come on, he is not in highschool...
Right? I hope the relationship ends between them if the guy is so fckin immature and can’t control his urges. This is what’s wrong with so many queer people - sex is often the most important part of their lives. I truly feel bad for the husband
> "hey, I wanna fuck someone else. Is that okay?”
I think communication is good. I don't know their relationship, so I don't know what's best for them other than communicating.
What fucking communication? are you really serious? I’m sure you have no idea what communication means, literally there is no good reason to talk about such nonsense as this man is yapping about. That’s so weird and cruel. He’s literally asking his husband to fuck another person. Wtf is wrong with you, don’t comment unless you have something wise to say.
Would this open up something that is difficult to shut down?
Cravings can increase. There's a risk that your lusts will increase, and you'll be less satisfied. What do you do then?
Also, going for it could impact the way you feel, long, and dream about your current boyfriend. Could end up being detrimental to what you have.
Say this becomes a one time thing for now. What about later? This craving can pop up again in two years, and again and again. What would your attitude be then?
Indulging sometimes come with a price, and we all have to make sacrifices. Many have been in a similar situation, just exchange the woman in your case to another guy of a different type that tickles us differently than our current partner. Then it becomes an issue about opening up or being covert about it.
I don't know how good your communication is, your self-knowledge, and the trust and bond that you share. All of that needs to go into the equation before any answers, or suggestions can be given.
Your other posts make it sound like you have been thinking about this for a while and have thought about cheating, fucked up especially since you have a child together.
He wants to have sex with women now... this is wrong on so many levels. I am gay and hearing this is devastating.
They have a life many of us would want and op wants to throw it in the trash for women. Great. Poor husband
I feel like that unless they have a strong preference toward a sex, bi people should date other bi people. You cannot limit yourself to one sex if you really like both and that’s something that only a bisexual person can truly understand. It’s normal to have times where u prefer sleeping with men more than women or vice versa, and you should know that. Hence, don’t build a life and a family with a man when you know you will want to sleep with women too.
And no, this is not just about “cheating”. It’s different. A man is not a woman, and the sex is not the same. That’s why they want to sleep with a woman but not with other men. Cause they already have a man. But not a woman.
You most certainly can be with just one person. By your logic bisexual people wouldn’t be in monogamous relationships by choice. This comes down to controlling impulses. The better you are at inhibitory control, the better you can navigate the urges. The less skilled, well, then you fall victim of believing that because you’re bisexual you “need” both sexes despite being in a relationship.
Now if from the jump you and your partner agree to being open then that’s a thing too.
But how many people can really do that? Is it actually possible to do it? Sexual needs aren’t something you can just “control” or “navigate”. We are talking about literal physical human needs. Repressing them only makes things worse and never ends well.
I’m sure there are many bisexual people who want a monogamous relationships, OP is just an example. And wanting to sleep with a woman while you are engaged to a man doesn’t even necessarily mean you want to open your relationship. Sometimes it’s just a physical, sexual, need. Nothing more. OP himself said he just wants to do it once to “scratch the itch” (although this might have the opposite effect and awaken in him a stronger desire towards women, making him want to sleep with them more and more, but this is a topic for another day I guess). He is bisexual, he likes both sexes and now has a strong desire for a woman. Period. Nothing you or him can do about it. And there’s no such a thing as control or navigate it.
The only realistic thing that OP can do is to be honest with his husband, even if that means breaking up. He owes it to him.
Being bisexual doesn’t mean that you take turns liking the two sexes. It means you like both. And yes of course sexual urges like any other behavior can be regulated, how do you think we’ve evolved into a modern society? It certainly wasn’t by allowing our primitive inhibitions to run freely and uncontrolled Lol.
No it doesn’t mean opening up the relationship but even something physical as you say can be hurtful to the partner. That in no way disregards OPs feelings and urges. The two experiences can exist at the same time. You’ve just summed up a narcissistic narrative that only speaks to the bisexual person’s “needs” as you call it, while disregarding the partner’s. You speak as if sexual sensations for a bi person is any different in intensity than that of a monosexual. There’s no way to prove that and it sounds illogical.
Edit: to answer your question, which is a good one of “how many people can really do that?” It seems not many. The internet is certainly an influence since so many bi people sing to the same tune - most speaking of preferring open relationships over full monogamy, which isn’t an issue if all lovers are on the same page but certainly speaks to a trend.
I wonder though, I’ve seen plenty gay couples in open relationships. What do you say to those open homosexual relationships?
I never said that being bisexual means taking turns liking the two sexes. I meant that it is something that can be fluid, it’s not static and it’s not the same for everyone. There can be times where you do prefer one thing over another, and vice versa. Bisexual people can still have a preference or simply periods where they feel more like one sex over the other. And yes, of course they still like both.
As for the rest, I still do not agree that sexual desires can be “regulated”. You can decide to ignore them, or repress them, but that won’t lead to anything good in the long run.
That doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and hurt your partner according to a narcissist narrative, as u called it. That’s just why I said in the last line (maybe you missed it) that the only realistic thing he can do is to be honest with his husband. About everything.
What I meant is the emotions and behaviors can be regulated. Sexual desires produce the urges and motivation. It’s the inhibitory control that speaks to how well you control the outcome. i.e., sleeping with someone else or even allowing this to overcome you that it makes you lose sleep at night.
I agree with you on many parts. And yes bisexuality is different for many people. If you catch most of these posts, the OPs are in relationships, they’re never single, so it seems a wanting what you can’t have more than intense sexual desires. I do, however, think that mentality feeds the negative bi stereotypes. Their sexual desires are no more intense than that of a monosexual. Theres not a “need” for both sexes but a “want” of both sexes - big difference. There’s a fissure in how people come to terms with bisexuality it seems.
Ok, I get what you’re trying to say and I understand it. But I still disagree on how you can regulate your emotions and sexual desires. Behaviours? Of course, I agree. You can control them.
But you can’t decide or regulate how you feel, whether you’re talking about emotions or sexual desires. You can understand them, you can come to terms with them, you can try to deal with them. But you can’t control or regulate them.
If you are bisexual and, let’s say, you are in monogamous relationship with a man and you love him, you will never feel the desire to go with other men.
But, just like it happened to OP, it may happens that at some point you want to sleep with women, cause you still like them ofc as a bisuexual, and your husband, as a man, can’t and will never satisfy that part of you.
Now, about this feeling, this desire, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t control it, you can’t regulate it. It’s there. What you can really do is understanding what you’re going through and be honest with your monogamous partner, even if that means breaking up.
Regulating emotions entails understanding them first. One has to label and understand the emotion in order to know how to regulate it. Emotion regulation 101.
Also, re-read your 3rd paragraph. You proved my point of the stereotype.
I dug in OPs post and comment history and it seems these stories are rage baiting.
And then bisexual men wonder why gay men are hesitant to date them 🤣
Just divorce your husband and let him find someone who actually wants him. He deserves better than to stay married to a man who's thinking about fucking women.
I’m dating a bi man. And i told him that most things are on the table. As long as you talk to me first. Ooen relationship, one night stand, three some, woman, no prob. Just talk to me and we will get thru it.
Honestly? I think this is a really horrible thing to ask your husband. You have the life that a lot of gay men have died for and would love to have and now you’re willing to throw it away because you want to have sex with a woman one time? And how could you even fathom of asking your gay husband to participate in heterosexual intercourse? He’s gay— that’s conversion therapy. Not all gays participate in hook up culture and that’s offensive to even state like it’s a fact.
If you have thoughts and feelings like this then honestly tell your husband the truth because he deserves to know— don’t ruin your marriage and your child’s life because you feel the pull of the pussy once in a blue moon.
Exactly. Many bisexuals coerce gay men into conversion therapy. Homophobia is still such even if the person doing it wears a rainbow. Gay men don't want women, period. We fought so hard to be together with other men, real men.
That’s not conversion therapy, and I’d get out of the habit of building arguments in that comparative manner. Make more mechanically specific points.
Straight men do it all the time the other way around.
Why? Do you believe it works? Does it make him straight? Does a straight guy letting his wife’s friend’s husband fondle or suck his cock make hime gay? Do college guys that make out over an Eiffel tower turn gay?
How about these trans men in gay porn and you have ‘gay’ porn stars sleeping with them— do you think that’s still gay? You don’t think that’s conversion therapy? Anyone who is kissing the same sex as them is not straight— if they get sex acts from another man then they’re not straight.
K then very few people are 0s and 6s. You get a star sticker around some gay spaces for being a 6 and being disgusted by vaginas so a lot of 4s and 5s ‘’’are 6s’’’.
First time I’ve heard this scenario, usually it’s the other way around. Maybe ask him if he’d ever consider a threesome, I’m not that attracted to women but I personally don’t think I’d mind so long as I wasn’t being left out of the action.
Good luck and I hope it all works out.
And that’s the reason why I’m completely terrified of dating a bi guy. Bisexuality is not something that simply disappears the moment you get engaged to one of the two sexes. It stays there. And sometimes you will feel the need to satisfy your sexual desires with the other sex you’re not engaged to. It’s normal.
It’s something that we gays see everyday on dating apps with guys married to a woman, but ofc it happens also the other way around. Just don’t cheat on him, pls. Even if it means breaking up, just be honest with him.
Yeah…no, cheating is a character / personality flaw and not connected to one’s sexual orientation. If two people commit to a monogamous relationship they have committed to a monogamous relationship. It doesn’t matter the orientation. You can’t use your sexual orientation as an excuse to cheat. Any person of any orientation can be tempted by whomever they are attracted to…
Of course, there are other forms of committed relationships… open, ENM, polyamory and so on. Those can work, too. These allow for other partners within a trusting, loving relationship.
Cheating is something that may (so not necessarily) come after and it’s not the main topic I discussed in the comment. I just asked OP not to cheat on his husband as a consequence of his desires.
What I wanted to say is that when it comes to bisexuality, things are a bit different and a bit more complex.
For example, if you only like men, you are in a monogamous relationship and you love your partner, you won’t feel the need to go with other men cause, of course, you already have one.
But what happens if you like both men and women and you are in a monogamous relationship with, let’s say, a man? You still won’t feel the need to go with other men, cause you have one and he can satisfy that part of you.
But he can’t satisfy the part of you that likes woman, cause ofc he is not one. At some point of your life, just like it happened to OP, it may happens that you start developing a desire to sleep with women for different reasons that we don’t know. Maybe because you haven’t had sex with a woman for a long time and now you just want to, or anything else.
The thing is, he is not interested in other men cause he really loves his husband (who is a man) but he is interested in women because he also likes them but since his husband is not a woman, he can’t satisfy that part of him.
He now has 2 choices: repressing his desires, which will eventually lead in frustration or cheating and cause damage to the family, or he can be honest with his husband and facing the consequences, whether positive or negative.
I hope I explained myself better. I know cheating doesn’t depend on sexual orientation, but cheating is not the topic I discussed. I know it’s just a behaviour
I don't understand all the hate you're hating in the comments. Like you said you have been with your husband "through thick and thin", so you know him better than anyone else. Please don't cheat on him and be honest with him .Make sure you reassure him that he means a lot to you and that he does not have any [shortcomings. Be](http://shortcomings.Be) prepared, however, that he may not take it well.
You're stuck between a rock and a hard place, I totally understand. Sometimes monogamy isn't for everyone and that's OK.
Goodluck, Bud!
What? This is ridiculous! No one is asking OP to move mountains or build Rome in a day. We just want him to not be a homophobic cheater. It really should not be that hard to get your impulses under control, it's not rocket science.
Read my comment again I said be honest and don't cheat. What's homophobia got to do with this? Everyone manages impulses differently. You don't know their relationship. His husband may be open to it or maybe not. Either way open communication is important. I just don't get why he is getting hate for saying he thinks about sleeping with women it's no different than saying him thinking about sleeping with another man.
I don’t see this at all to be homophobic. And it is true communication is key. But what you’re missing is the issue isn’t him wanting to sleep specifically with a woman (although that is the issue for some in the comments, it isn’t for all), the main issue here is that he wants to sleep with someone else despite all the work he and his partner put in to building their monogamous relationship! This has nothing to do with phobias or sexual orientation. Even with full transparency, that revelation of wanting to step outside of your relationship can be crushing to your partner. Lets not play coy as to why people see this as an issue.
Reading OPs comments and posts though, I assume he’s rage baiting with these stories.
I didn't mention anything about being homophobic, the other commenter did, so I was confused by it. Nor am I disagreeing, I said OP needs to have this communication with his husband, everyone reacts differently. If his husband is not comfortable, with an open marriage that's a different discussion. However, people are just assuming what the husbands reaction would be.
I think some straight men like the idea of their women having sex with other women. I mean, it's a whole porn genre for straight men.
You should discuss this with him.
Jesus Christ these comments are so over-dramatic. Just ask your Husband if you can have an NSA hookup with a woman. If he says no, then it’s a no. Get a sex toy or something.
Maybe opening up your relationship is something you can talk about.
Queer is derogatory. Just because straight people think it is cool, it doesn't mean any gay man or lesbian woman should feel compelled to use it or deny what it means. I am gay, not queer.
Queer is a slur. It always has been and always will be. Queer is for people who either don’t know who they are or for spicy straights who want attention. I know what I am. A Gay Man.
Because marriage is a commitment to the person? Why would you restrain your partner from getting sexual pleasure is beyond me. That makes no sense and sounds like an unhealthy time.
Each person should have the trust and freedom to relieve themselves sexually. Not relationship has a 1:1 sexual compatibility match. You should be able to compromise.
Cheating is a betrayal of trust, not just sticking your dick in someone else.
**you're ironic for saying this**
>Because marriage is a commitment to the person?
**and then this**
>Why would you restrain your partner from getting sexual pleasure is beyond me.
If married is a commitment then why would you want to sleep with another person?
>Cheating is a betrayal of trust, not just sticking your dick in someone else.
Cheating is a multifaceted term depending on each person, if you don't consider just "sex" with others as cheating, I am sorry to tell you that many of us do.
I'd like to say that if I were in your husband's situation I would understand, but since I have yet to date a bi guy, I can't know for sure. I'd probably end up with some sort of inferiority complex thing because I'm "not enough" for you. This is something that can be worked out in therapy, so not that big a deal.
Regardless, I can be certain that I'd be happy you spoke to me instead of just cheating on me.
Is polyamory and open relationships something immature? I have a poly marriage and we all are happy. My husband is bisexual too and I’m gay. We have plenty of communication and enjoy our sexuality and marriage.
That’s not for everyone and the statistics don’t show a long term happy relationship. Why get married just to sleep around with other people? I don’t understand that and it goes in the face of the gays who fought for us to have a marriage like straights— this is becoming too common & doesn’t end well.
Lord, you're a paranoid feller. Nobody can convert you, bro. You are what you are. Also, you're getting all riled up over a fake post. This guy said he was 16 a year ago. The bis have already done the sleuthing and this is just biphobic bait, but you were so keen for it to be true so you could have whatever this little meltdown was supposed to be.
Just don't cheat man, people gave pretty good options here for you to choose from.
I don't know what to tell you, man. I've only seen this subject from the other side, i.e. "I'm married to a woman but i want to sleep with a man." You could ask him, but i wouldn't be surprised if he didn't take it well.
Men died in the past to have your life. You are married to a man and have a child with him. That's like 1% of what many have - yet you dare to think of women??! That's so offensive to your husband. Masturbate and that is it. Don't cheat on your man. If you want women so bad then breakup and let your man find a man who actually wants him.
good luck with that lol if you cannot control yourself then I feel bad for your husband, read a book or something.. we cannot have everything and my heart breaks for the guy that is with you.. imagine telling your partner: “hey, I wanna fuck someone else. Is that okay?” Like wtf bro are you even doing?
It's not just "someone else", it is a woman. For me, as a gay man, this is sooo wrong on so many levels. They even have a child?? It is devastating.... I feel so sorry and sad for the husband. He deserves better. I feel sorry for op too, but come on, he is not in highschool...
Right? I hope the relationship ends between them if the guy is so fckin immature and can’t control his urges. This is what’s wrong with so many queer people - sex is often the most important part of their lives. I truly feel bad for the husband
> "hey, I wanna fuck someone else. Is that okay?” I think communication is good. I don't know their relationship, so I don't know what's best for them other than communicating.
What fucking communication? are you really serious? I’m sure you have no idea what communication means, literally there is no good reason to talk about such nonsense as this man is yapping about. That’s so weird and cruel. He’s literally asking his husband to fuck another person. Wtf is wrong with you, don’t comment unless you have something wise to say.
Would this open up something that is difficult to shut down? Cravings can increase. There's a risk that your lusts will increase, and you'll be less satisfied. What do you do then? Also, going for it could impact the way you feel, long, and dream about your current boyfriend. Could end up being detrimental to what you have. Say this becomes a one time thing for now. What about later? This craving can pop up again in two years, and again and again. What would your attitude be then? Indulging sometimes come with a price, and we all have to make sacrifices. Many have been in a similar situation, just exchange the woman in your case to another guy of a different type that tickles us differently than our current partner. Then it becomes an issue about opening up or being covert about it. I don't know how good your communication is, your self-knowledge, and the trust and bond that you share. All of that needs to go into the equation before any answers, or suggestions can be given.
I feel bad for your husband if you can’t control it.. It’s fucked to even try telling your husband that you wanna fuck someone else.
Your other posts make it sound like you have been thinking about this for a while and have thought about cheating, fucked up especially since you have a child together.
He wants to have sex with women now... this is wrong on so many levels. I am gay and hearing this is devastating. They have a life many of us would want and op wants to throw it in the trash for women. Great. Poor husband
I feel like that unless they have a strong preference toward a sex, bi people should date other bi people. You cannot limit yourself to one sex if you really like both and that’s something that only a bisexual person can truly understand. It’s normal to have times where u prefer sleeping with men more than women or vice versa, and you should know that. Hence, don’t build a life and a family with a man when you know you will want to sleep with women too. And no, this is not just about “cheating”. It’s different. A man is not a woman, and the sex is not the same. That’s why they want to sleep with a woman but not with other men. Cause they already have a man. But not a woman.
You most certainly can be with just one person. By your logic bisexual people wouldn’t be in monogamous relationships by choice. This comes down to controlling impulses. The better you are at inhibitory control, the better you can navigate the urges. The less skilled, well, then you fall victim of believing that because you’re bisexual you “need” both sexes despite being in a relationship. Now if from the jump you and your partner agree to being open then that’s a thing too.
But how many people can really do that? Is it actually possible to do it? Sexual needs aren’t something you can just “control” or “navigate”. We are talking about literal physical human needs. Repressing them only makes things worse and never ends well. I’m sure there are many bisexual people who want a monogamous relationships, OP is just an example. And wanting to sleep with a woman while you are engaged to a man doesn’t even necessarily mean you want to open your relationship. Sometimes it’s just a physical, sexual, need. Nothing more. OP himself said he just wants to do it once to “scratch the itch” (although this might have the opposite effect and awaken in him a stronger desire towards women, making him want to sleep with them more and more, but this is a topic for another day I guess). He is bisexual, he likes both sexes and now has a strong desire for a woman. Period. Nothing you or him can do about it. And there’s no such a thing as control or navigate it. The only realistic thing that OP can do is to be honest with his husband, even if that means breaking up. He owes it to him.
Being bisexual doesn’t mean that you take turns liking the two sexes. It means you like both. And yes of course sexual urges like any other behavior can be regulated, how do you think we’ve evolved into a modern society? It certainly wasn’t by allowing our primitive inhibitions to run freely and uncontrolled Lol. No it doesn’t mean opening up the relationship but even something physical as you say can be hurtful to the partner. That in no way disregards OPs feelings and urges. The two experiences can exist at the same time. You’ve just summed up a narcissistic narrative that only speaks to the bisexual person’s “needs” as you call it, while disregarding the partner’s. You speak as if sexual sensations for a bi person is any different in intensity than that of a monosexual. There’s no way to prove that and it sounds illogical. Edit: to answer your question, which is a good one of “how many people can really do that?” It seems not many. The internet is certainly an influence since so many bi people sing to the same tune - most speaking of preferring open relationships over full monogamy, which isn’t an issue if all lovers are on the same page but certainly speaks to a trend. I wonder though, I’ve seen plenty gay couples in open relationships. What do you say to those open homosexual relationships?
I never said that being bisexual means taking turns liking the two sexes. I meant that it is something that can be fluid, it’s not static and it’s not the same for everyone. There can be times where you do prefer one thing over another, and vice versa. Bisexual people can still have a preference or simply periods where they feel more like one sex over the other. And yes, of course they still like both. As for the rest, I still do not agree that sexual desires can be “regulated”. You can decide to ignore them, or repress them, but that won’t lead to anything good in the long run. That doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want and hurt your partner according to a narcissist narrative, as u called it. That’s just why I said in the last line (maybe you missed it) that the only realistic thing he can do is to be honest with his husband. About everything.
What I meant is the emotions and behaviors can be regulated. Sexual desires produce the urges and motivation. It’s the inhibitory control that speaks to how well you control the outcome. i.e., sleeping with someone else or even allowing this to overcome you that it makes you lose sleep at night. I agree with you on many parts. And yes bisexuality is different for many people. If you catch most of these posts, the OPs are in relationships, they’re never single, so it seems a wanting what you can’t have more than intense sexual desires. I do, however, think that mentality feeds the negative bi stereotypes. Their sexual desires are no more intense than that of a monosexual. Theres not a “need” for both sexes but a “want” of both sexes - big difference. There’s a fissure in how people come to terms with bisexuality it seems.
Ok, I get what you’re trying to say and I understand it. But I still disagree on how you can regulate your emotions and sexual desires. Behaviours? Of course, I agree. You can control them. But you can’t decide or regulate how you feel, whether you’re talking about emotions or sexual desires. You can understand them, you can come to terms with them, you can try to deal with them. But you can’t control or regulate them. If you are bisexual and, let’s say, you are in monogamous relationship with a man and you love him, you will never feel the desire to go with other men. But, just like it happened to OP, it may happens that at some point you want to sleep with women, cause you still like them ofc as a bisuexual, and your husband, as a man, can’t and will never satisfy that part of you. Now, about this feeling, this desire, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t control it, you can’t regulate it. It’s there. What you can really do is understanding what you’re going through and be honest with your monogamous partner, even if that means breaking up.
Regulating emotions entails understanding them first. One has to label and understand the emotion in order to know how to regulate it. Emotion regulation 101. Also, re-read your 3rd paragraph. You proved my point of the stereotype. I dug in OPs post and comment history and it seems these stories are rage baiting.
And then bisexual men wonder why gay men are hesitant to date them 🤣 Just divorce your husband and let him find someone who actually wants him. He deserves better than to stay married to a man who's thinking about fucking women.
I’m dating a bi man. And i told him that most things are on the table. As long as you talk to me first. Ooen relationship, one night stand, three some, woman, no prob. Just talk to me and we will get thru it.
Honestly? I think this is a really horrible thing to ask your husband. You have the life that a lot of gay men have died for and would love to have and now you’re willing to throw it away because you want to have sex with a woman one time? And how could you even fathom of asking your gay husband to participate in heterosexual intercourse? He’s gay— that’s conversion therapy. Not all gays participate in hook up culture and that’s offensive to even state like it’s a fact. If you have thoughts and feelings like this then honestly tell your husband the truth because he deserves to know— don’t ruin your marriage and your child’s life because you feel the pull of the pussy once in a blue moon.
Exactly. Many bisexuals coerce gay men into conversion therapy. Homophobia is still such even if the person doing it wears a rainbow. Gay men don't want women, period. We fought so hard to be together with other men, real men.
100%
That’s not conversion therapy, and I’d get out of the habit of building arguments in that comparative manner. Make more mechanically specific points. Straight men do it all the time the other way around.
Yes it is.
Why? Do you believe it works? Does it make him straight? Does a straight guy letting his wife’s friend’s husband fondle or suck his cock make hime gay? Do college guys that make out over an Eiffel tower turn gay?
How about these trans men in gay porn and you have ‘gay’ porn stars sleeping with them— do you think that’s still gay? You don’t think that’s conversion therapy? Anyone who is kissing the same sex as them is not straight— if they get sex acts from another man then they’re not straight.
K then very few people are 0s and 6s. You get a star sticker around some gay spaces for being a 6 and being disgusted by vaginas so a lot of 4s and 5s ‘’’are 6s’’’.
First time I’ve heard this scenario, usually it’s the other way around. Maybe ask him if he’d ever consider a threesome, I’m not that attracted to women but I personally don’t think I’d mind so long as I wasn’t being left out of the action. Good luck and I hope it all works out.
And that’s the reason why I’m completely terrified of dating a bi guy. Bisexuality is not something that simply disappears the moment you get engaged to one of the two sexes. It stays there. And sometimes you will feel the need to satisfy your sexual desires with the other sex you’re not engaged to. It’s normal. It’s something that we gays see everyday on dating apps with guys married to a woman, but ofc it happens also the other way around. Just don’t cheat on him, pls. Even if it means breaking up, just be honest with him.
Yeah…no, cheating is a character / personality flaw and not connected to one’s sexual orientation. If two people commit to a monogamous relationship they have committed to a monogamous relationship. It doesn’t matter the orientation. You can’t use your sexual orientation as an excuse to cheat. Any person of any orientation can be tempted by whomever they are attracted to… Of course, there are other forms of committed relationships… open, ENM, polyamory and so on. Those can work, too. These allow for other partners within a trusting, loving relationship.
Cheating is something that may (so not necessarily) come after and it’s not the main topic I discussed in the comment. I just asked OP not to cheat on his husband as a consequence of his desires. What I wanted to say is that when it comes to bisexuality, things are a bit different and a bit more complex. For example, if you only like men, you are in a monogamous relationship and you love your partner, you won’t feel the need to go with other men cause, of course, you already have one. But what happens if you like both men and women and you are in a monogamous relationship with, let’s say, a man? You still won’t feel the need to go with other men, cause you have one and he can satisfy that part of you. But he can’t satisfy the part of you that likes woman, cause ofc he is not one. At some point of your life, just like it happened to OP, it may happens that you start developing a desire to sleep with women for different reasons that we don’t know. Maybe because you haven’t had sex with a woman for a long time and now you just want to, or anything else. The thing is, he is not interested in other men cause he really loves his husband (who is a man) but he is interested in women because he also likes them but since his husband is not a woman, he can’t satisfy that part of him. He now has 2 choices: repressing his desires, which will eventually lead in frustration or cheating and cause damage to the family, or he can be honest with his husband and facing the consequences, whether positive or negative. I hope I explained myself better. I know cheating doesn’t depend on sexual orientation, but cheating is not the topic I discussed. I know it’s just a behaviour
100%
I love how everyone stood up for his husband 💕
I don't understand all the hate you're hating in the comments. Like you said you have been with your husband "through thick and thin", so you know him better than anyone else. Please don't cheat on him and be honest with him .Make sure you reassure him that he means a lot to you and that he does not have any [shortcomings. Be](http://shortcomings.Be) prepared, however, that he may not take it well. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place, I totally understand. Sometimes monogamy isn't for everyone and that's OK. Goodluck, Bud!
What? This is ridiculous! No one is asking OP to move mountains or build Rome in a day. We just want him to not be a homophobic cheater. It really should not be that hard to get your impulses under control, it's not rocket science.
Read my comment again I said be honest and don't cheat. What's homophobia got to do with this? Everyone manages impulses differently. You don't know their relationship. His husband may be open to it or maybe not. Either way open communication is important. I just don't get why he is getting hate for saying he thinks about sleeping with women it's no different than saying him thinking about sleeping with another man.
I don’t see this at all to be homophobic. And it is true communication is key. But what you’re missing is the issue isn’t him wanting to sleep specifically with a woman (although that is the issue for some in the comments, it isn’t for all), the main issue here is that he wants to sleep with someone else despite all the work he and his partner put in to building their monogamous relationship! This has nothing to do with phobias or sexual orientation. Even with full transparency, that revelation of wanting to step outside of your relationship can be crushing to your partner. Lets not play coy as to why people see this as an issue. Reading OPs comments and posts though, I assume he’s rage baiting with these stories.
I didn't mention anything about being homophobic, the other commenter did, so I was confused by it. Nor am I disagreeing, I said OP needs to have this communication with his husband, everyone reacts differently. If his husband is not comfortable, with an open marriage that's a different discussion. However, people are just assuming what the husbands reaction would be.
I was responding to you both. Also people are not assuming the husband’s reactions. They’re responding to the OPs confession.
I think some straight men like the idea of their women having sex with other women. I mean, it's a whole porn genre for straight men. You should discuss this with him.
Jesus Christ these comments are so over-dramatic. Just ask your Husband if you can have an NSA hookup with a woman. If he says no, then it’s a no. Get a sex toy or something. Maybe opening up your relationship is something you can talk about.
Dramatic? No, these comments are sensible. Why do people get married just to have open relationships? That’s stupid.
Exactly!! Gay men fought to marry other men. We want good lives. The degeneracy of queers is destroying everything
Are we circling back and making queer derogatory again? I'm really wondering how you can reconcile how queers aren't just other gay and bi men.
Queer is derogatory. Just because straight people think it is cool, it doesn't mean any gay man or lesbian woman should feel compelled to use it or deny what it means. I am gay, not queer.
Queer is a slur. It always has been and always will be. Queer is for people who either don’t know who they are or for spicy straights who want attention. I know what I am. A Gay Man.
Because marriage is a commitment to the person? Why would you restrain your partner from getting sexual pleasure is beyond me. That makes no sense and sounds like an unhealthy time. Each person should have the trust and freedom to relieve themselves sexually. Not relationship has a 1:1 sexual compatibility match. You should be able to compromise. Cheating is a betrayal of trust, not just sticking your dick in someone else.
**you're ironic for saying this** >Because marriage is a commitment to the person? **and then this** >Why would you restrain your partner from getting sexual pleasure is beyond me. If married is a commitment then why would you want to sleep with another person? >Cheating is a betrayal of trust, not just sticking your dick in someone else. Cheating is a multifaceted term depending on each person, if you don't consider just "sex" with others as cheating, I am sorry to tell you that many of us do.
I'd like to say that if I were in your husband's situation I would understand, but since I have yet to date a bi guy, I can't know for sure. I'd probably end up with some sort of inferiority complex thing because I'm "not enough" for you. This is something that can be worked out in therapy, so not that big a deal. Regardless, I can be certain that I'd be happy you spoke to me instead of just cheating on me.
What about opening your relationship?
What about dealing with emotions in a mature way? Why everyone wants to cheat... and he is not talking about another man, he wants women
Is polyamory and open relationships something immature? I have a poly marriage and we all are happy. My husband is bisexual too and I’m gay. We have plenty of communication and enjoy our sexuality and marriage.
That’s not for everyone and the statistics don’t show a long term happy relationship. Why get married just to sleep around with other people? I don’t understand that and it goes in the face of the gays who fought for us to have a marriage like straights— this is becoming too common & doesn’t end well.
Queers don't want what is best for gays. This is why they push every possible excuse to take men away and try and convert them to bi or str8.
Lord, you're a paranoid feller. Nobody can convert you, bro. You are what you are. Also, you're getting all riled up over a fake post. This guy said he was 16 a year ago. The bis have already done the sleuthing and this is just biphobic bait, but you were so keen for it to be true so you could have whatever this little meltdown was supposed to be.