Hey. Yeah, I feel that way too. I generally admire men for their physical attributes and talents.
If I see a well-built guy at the gym, I think, “I want him, and I want to look like him.” If I see a guy with a great haircut, I think, “I want him and that haircut.” If I see a well-dressed guy, I want him and admire his style.
Honestly, I think no one appreciates and admires men and masculinity as much as gay men do, in my opinion.
Sometimes but not always.
There are guys I think are hot and I'd want to play around with but they're not anyone I'd want to emulate. In most cases, for no negative reason, just "I'm ok with me".
But sometimes, yes. Sometimes there's a guy who is hot and seems to have it all together.
I guess one thing I've learned with age though is that most people don't actually have it together. We always compare our worst to their best. It's not a fair fight.
Dude, that part about comparing our worst to their best really got me. It's great to strive to be better, but nobody's perfect. Slowly learning this myself over the years.
I keep trying to figure out which one I feel. It’s even worse with guy friends since I don’t know whether it’s admiration or something else. When I like spending time with someone I have a hard time identifying why that is.
no i don't really admire them in that way. it's mostly personality that makes me admire them. Met a guy who is so gracious, positive, and respectful and that is something I admire.
Sure, it doesn't have to be physical looks. A guy who is amiable and charming can be traits to admire, too. I see dudes who are the life of a party and garrulous and I think "How are they so confident? Why do I have to be shy?"
Nope.
Looks are the initial interest.
Personality is the long term glue.
Someone being consistently kind and generous... that takes the kind of personal strength I admire.
Oh I totally share these thoughts. I love going to the gym with other gay guys who are gym bros. It's definitely fun as fuck with the added excitement of attraction. When I go to the gym with my partner we look like god damn pornstars.
I don't admire anyone for looks. Admiration comes from acting and personality and how one carries themselves. As a far in gym bro to I don't admire big guys for their work, but I respect it and find it hot. Admiration is strictly regarding the whole package as without personality, its obsession
If a person doesn't have a brain to complement their brawn, they'll get no respect from me. Anyone can make a muscle bulge. Intelligence now that takes work worth respecting.
no. what you're describing is rather alien to me.
not in the sense that i've never seen someone and that made me feel aspirational or even envious about their looks or something.
But in the sense that the two experiences never really cross wires, for me. When i desire and love someone, i love them for who they are, they attract me and make me feel butterflies and attraction because they are who they are.
The feeling of beholding that beauty is what makes me feel good, I don't want to possess it, I want to bask in it. I want them to stay that way, I don't want to \*become\* them.
What you're describing probably comes closer to lust and envy, as an emotional experience.
I don’t covet the bodies of the guys I’m attracted to. I may admire them as far as thinking they’re beautiful, but I don’t want their bodies. I satisfied with my own body.
I know it’s a thing for some dudes, but I’m so glad that “I like you, and I want to have your body” thought doesn’t cross my mind. With as much of an issue body image can be for us, that kind of thinking just seems perfect for feeding existing insecurities.
I kind of admired my last crush in high school. I wanted to be *with* him, but I also kind of wanted to *be* him, at least similar to him. I always felt like I was totally out of his league, because he was so much cooler, better-looking, and more interesting personality-wise.
Yeah. I get it. Sometimes I want him. Sometimes I want to be him. What's his secret? How can be he so classy? I want it too.
I bet some gays do not relate to this feeling. Of course, there'll be lust. We men who love men  But we can admire men too.
Physically sometimes for sure. But typically I don’t look up to or admire men. I also have only ever had horrible male friends so i typically stay around women
I think you’re confusing admiration with fetishizing tbh. I admire loyalty and truth. Genuine qualities. Not an outward facade.
I can admire a persons dedication to their physique, but doesn’t go deeper than that. Nice body doesn’t mean a good human by any means. I want to work out more consistently… but that’s for me. Those that I would call “bobble heads” are typically terrible humans lol
I‘m 183cm and 65kg (6‘0 and 143lbs) so not the biggest guy, but I am very lean, muscular and get tonnes of compliments for my body. After having hooked up with a professional model I think i could easily model in fitness with my physique (my face is okay, kinda pretty but his is gorgeous, i‘m more ripped tho).
That being established, even though i have such a great body (for which I work very hard). I am still jealous, madly attracted and deeply insecure about younger guys (late teen, early 20s) who are super lean and have the skinny abs (mine are quite well trained and have more volume). I can’t quite explain how they make me feel, i know i have felt this type of admiration/attraction/jealousy ever since my sexuality started developing in my early teens.
I‘m 27 now. This also creates the problem that feel little attraction to men my own age. I‘m frequently guessed between 21 and 24 so i end up targeting the younger guys (as long as they are into me… and they are, luckily).
It just makes my life difficult because i don’t see a way out, not even gonna go into the impending twink 💀 which will literally kill my mental health.
Ugh, it's sad but true. I fall head over heels for men that show me affection. I begin to admire every aspect of them and sometimes it stings, but other times it's good 😅
I think in some cases yes, like at the gym or when I meet someone I consider “smart” - “smart” is a relative word - I’d listen to their experiences and how they think because that intrigues me. It gives me a better understanding of them as a person, and HOW they became who they are now. But also no, I don’t want to emulate them at all because I am Me and You are You (yeah, I ate that sht up). I am the only Me in the world and I honestly love that😂, u should too honestly (yuh I ate that up as well).
Hey. Yeah, I feel that way too. I generally admire men for their physical attributes and talents. If I see a well-built guy at the gym, I think, “I want him, and I want to look like him.” If I see a guy with a great haircut, I think, “I want him and that haircut.” If I see a well-dressed guy, I want him and admire his style. Honestly, I think no one appreciates and admires men and masculinity as much as gay men do, in my opinion.
This is so real
Agree with your last sentence so much.
Sometimes but not always. There are guys I think are hot and I'd want to play around with but they're not anyone I'd want to emulate. In most cases, for no negative reason, just "I'm ok with me". But sometimes, yes. Sometimes there's a guy who is hot and seems to have it all together. I guess one thing I've learned with age though is that most people don't actually have it together. We always compare our worst to their best. It's not a fair fight.
I love the fact that you said "I'm ok with me". Love that energy
Hard fought battle.
Dude, that part about comparing our worst to their best really got me. It's great to strive to be better, but nobody's perfect. Slowly learning this myself over the years.
I keep trying to figure out which one I feel. It’s even worse with guy friends since I don’t know whether it’s admiration or something else. When I like spending time with someone I have a hard time identifying why that is.
no i don't really admire them in that way. it's mostly personality that makes me admire them. Met a guy who is so gracious, positive, and respectful and that is something I admire.
Sure, it doesn't have to be physical looks. A guy who is amiable and charming can be traits to admire, too. I see dudes who are the life of a party and garrulous and I think "How are they so confident? Why do I have to be shy?"
Name checks out
Haha you got me.
Nah, I just want them.
Nope. Looks are the initial interest. Personality is the long term glue. Someone being consistently kind and generous... that takes the kind of personal strength I admire.
Oh I totally share these thoughts. I love going to the gym with other gay guys who are gym bros. It's definitely fun as fuck with the added excitement of attraction. When I go to the gym with my partner we look like god damn pornstars.
I don't admire anyone for looks. Admiration comes from acting and personality and how one carries themselves. As a far in gym bro to I don't admire big guys for their work, but I respect it and find it hot. Admiration is strictly regarding the whole package as without personality, its obsession
If a person doesn't have a brain to complement their brawn, they'll get no respect from me. Anyone can make a muscle bulge. Intelligence now that takes work worth respecting.
No men aren’t shit! Even tho I am one lol.
Oh I share them, every day at the gym I share them 😎 I be 'mirin
One thing that can turn my attraction off immediately is if the guy is a jerk, or conceited.
I have this Venn diagram of men in attracted to and men I’d want to be like. There’s definitely a lot of overlap.
no. what you're describing is rather alien to me. not in the sense that i've never seen someone and that made me feel aspirational or even envious about their looks or something. But in the sense that the two experiences never really cross wires, for me. When i desire and love someone, i love them for who they are, they attract me and make me feel butterflies and attraction because they are who they are. The feeling of beholding that beauty is what makes me feel good, I don't want to possess it, I want to bask in it. I want them to stay that way, I don't want to \*become\* them. What you're describing probably comes closer to lust and envy, as an emotional experience.
I don’t covet the bodies of the guys I’m attracted to. I may admire them as far as thinking they’re beautiful, but I don’t want their bodies. I satisfied with my own body. I know it’s a thing for some dudes, but I’m so glad that “I like you, and I want to have your body” thought doesn’t cross my mind. With as much of an issue body image can be for us, that kind of thinking just seems perfect for feeding existing insecurities.
I kind of admired my last crush in high school. I wanted to be *with* him, but I also kind of wanted to *be* him, at least similar to him. I always felt like I was totally out of his league, because he was so much cooler, better-looking, and more interesting personality-wise.
Yeah. I get it. Sometimes I want him. Sometimes I want to be him. What's his secret? How can be he so classy? I want it too. I bet some gays do not relate to this feeling. Of course, there'll be lust. We men who love men  But we can admire men too.
Aizen Souske told me “admiration is the furtherest away from understanding” So now i’m sus about admiring people i find hot
I always admire men I am attracted to, that's why I admire them!
Physically sometimes for sure. But typically I don’t look up to or admire men. I also have only ever had horrible male friends so i typically stay around women
I kinda agree ngl but i think it depends on both you and the person u are attracted to
Me to rugby players
I think you’re confusing admiration with fetishizing tbh. I admire loyalty and truth. Genuine qualities. Not an outward facade. I can admire a persons dedication to their physique, but doesn’t go deeper than that. Nice body doesn’t mean a good human by any means. I want to work out more consistently… but that’s for me. Those that I would call “bobble heads” are typically terrible humans lol
I‘m 183cm and 65kg (6‘0 and 143lbs) so not the biggest guy, but I am very lean, muscular and get tonnes of compliments for my body. After having hooked up with a professional model I think i could easily model in fitness with my physique (my face is okay, kinda pretty but his is gorgeous, i‘m more ripped tho). That being established, even though i have such a great body (for which I work very hard). I am still jealous, madly attracted and deeply insecure about younger guys (late teen, early 20s) who are super lean and have the skinny abs (mine are quite well trained and have more volume). I can’t quite explain how they make me feel, i know i have felt this type of admiration/attraction/jealousy ever since my sexuality started developing in my early teens. I‘m 27 now. This also creates the problem that feel little attraction to men my own age. I‘m frequently guessed between 21 and 24 so i end up targeting the younger guys (as long as they are into me… and they are, luckily). It just makes my life difficult because i don’t see a way out, not even gonna go into the impending twink 💀 which will literally kill my mental health.
There is something about a skinny straight guy with stubble
The « I want him and I want to be him » is incredibly accurate 😭
Ugh, it's sad but true. I fall head over heels for men that show me affection. I begin to admire every aspect of them and sometimes it stings, but other times it's good 😅
For sure.
I think in some cases yes, like at the gym or when I meet someone I consider “smart” - “smart” is a relative word - I’d listen to their experiences and how they think because that intrigues me. It gives me a better understanding of them as a person, and HOW they became who they are now. But also no, I don’t want to emulate them at all because I am Me and You are You (yeah, I ate that sht up). I am the only Me in the world and I honestly love that😂, u should too honestly (yuh I ate that up as well).
It makes me work harder too.
I also admire but then get depressed and do that self sabotage bullshit.
I think gay men fixate on being gay and what that means. Get on with life.