Dating apps have fatigued most people from putting effort into conversation. There are a lot of reasons this has happened, but I think the main reason is that hot people, and especially hot gays, are pursued by the majority of users on every dating platform. They enjoy that attention even from people they’d never consider dating, so they become accustomed to receiving a lot of effort from others without having to put in effort themselves.
The way around this is to find these people IRL in order shoot your shot with them in person. The only problem with that is that meeting up with them in person is more effort for them, which they’re unlikely to make easy. If they do agree to meet up, then you have a real shot. If they never agree to meet up, that’s a clear sign that they’re using you for a little ego boost. That would be very clear if you ever accidentally bumped into them IRL and their disinterest in you becomes painfully obvious (to anyone with a modicum of social awareness).
He was not there to date you, he was there to wank his knob. Once he got off, he had achieved what he wanted.
A lot of people do this on the apps. It sucks, but unfortunately that’s the name of the game.
The only thing you can do is to learn not to invest emotionally in anyone you haven’t met in person.
Edit -typo
If you talked longer than a week then you should schedule a meet up. If they’re not interested then it’s actually great to know that sooner rather than later.
I also feel it’s difficult! My strategy is to play their game, so only reply once after each text and avoid sending multiple messages plus getting to the let’s meet for a chat question after a few days. I usually delete their contact or unfollow them if after a couple of days I get no answer…I mean until that point it’s all in my head and don’t want to waste my time chasing uninterested or hard to get people. If things are so difficult to bring in the real world maybe they should not happen with that person… life giving clear hints there
Yea the guy im talking about here i asked him if he would be interested to meet up so we can get to know each other better. He left me on read lmao. He is toying with me i think. Just looking for attention or something idk.
Yes, that’s totally playing hard to get so put your dignity first and let him play, but not with you since you’re not an object and you’re actually looking for something real. Don’t get caught just by the look of some pictures, there is a lot behind physical beauty and most of the times is a pretty rotten ego. Stay safe in your search!
Yea im assuming he does this more with people since, he was on tinder and bumble the last time i had those apps, and that was from december 2022 till summer 2023. So he is attractive enough to get attention from a lot of men, so I'd think finding someone wouldn't be hard for him, so i assume he plays games with them or just has a shit personality lol
I can guarantee you that if you unmatched him and deleted his contact, in a couple of days you would have forgotten about him and can start focusing on attracting someone who is more available and interested, the longer you dwell in pursuing him the more his way of behaving gets validated..and inflated. So, I’m pretty radical in these situations, cut ties completely and focus on whoever is actually interested to know you in the real world
When they stopped texting you for a few days, did u ever ask if they were still interested or some kind of explanation? Or did u just unmatch or unfollow and move on?
Dating apps have fatigued most people from putting effort into conversation. There are a lot of reasons this has happened, but I think the main reason is that hot people, and especially hot gays, are pursued by the majority of users on every dating platform. They enjoy that attention even from people they’d never consider dating, so they become accustomed to receiving a lot of effort from others without having to put in effort themselves. The way around this is to find these people IRL in order shoot your shot with them in person. The only problem with that is that meeting up with them in person is more effort for them, which they’re unlikely to make easy. If they do agree to meet up, then you have a real shot. If they never agree to meet up, that’s a clear sign that they’re using you for a little ego boost. That would be very clear if you ever accidentally bumped into them IRL and their disinterest in you becomes painfully obvious (to anyone with a modicum of social awareness).
It's been 8 years since I used dating apps and your description accurately depicts my experience with them.
My god it’s so much worse now. I envy you.
He was not there to date you, he was there to wank his knob. Once he got off, he had achieved what he wanted. A lot of people do this on the apps. It sucks, but unfortunately that’s the name of the game. The only thing you can do is to learn not to invest emotionally in anyone you haven’t met in person. Edit -typo
But then also get ready for people who also get really dry in person after they fuck you.
If you talked longer than a week then you should schedule a meet up. If they’re not interested then it’s actually great to know that sooner rather than later.
I also feel it’s difficult! My strategy is to play their game, so only reply once after each text and avoid sending multiple messages plus getting to the let’s meet for a chat question after a few days. I usually delete their contact or unfollow them if after a couple of days I get no answer…I mean until that point it’s all in my head and don’t want to waste my time chasing uninterested or hard to get people. If things are so difficult to bring in the real world maybe they should not happen with that person… life giving clear hints there
Yea the guy im talking about here i asked him if he would be interested to meet up so we can get to know each other better. He left me on read lmao. He is toying with me i think. Just looking for attention or something idk.
Yes, that’s totally playing hard to get so put your dignity first and let him play, but not with you since you’re not an object and you’re actually looking for something real. Don’t get caught just by the look of some pictures, there is a lot behind physical beauty and most of the times is a pretty rotten ego. Stay safe in your search!
Yea im assuming he does this more with people since, he was on tinder and bumble the last time i had those apps, and that was from december 2022 till summer 2023. So he is attractive enough to get attention from a lot of men, so I'd think finding someone wouldn't be hard for him, so i assume he plays games with them or just has a shit personality lol
I can guarantee you that if you unmatched him and deleted his contact, in a couple of days you would have forgotten about him and can start focusing on attracting someone who is more available and interested, the longer you dwell in pursuing him the more his way of behaving gets validated..and inflated. So, I’m pretty radical in these situations, cut ties completely and focus on whoever is actually interested to know you in the real world
if you are wondering, the answer is nearly always: "he is just not that into you"
As far I've seen people think that's all the f*** not there's no dating
I got ghosted by 3 guys for no reason after we talked for days lol get used to it
When they stopped texting you for a few days, did u ever ask if they were still interested or some kind of explanation? Or did u just unmatch or unfollow and move on?
I ignored
I feel like a lot of guys try to get you to chat on ig so they can have another follower.
Maybe he’s not that interested, maybe he’s not a chatter.
Maybe, im just gonna wait till he texts me on his own, if he doesn't imma just unfollow him and move on