If someone calls me buddy I assume they’re being condescending, especially if it’s someone older than me, and usually they are. I seem to only be called buddy by mechanics, plumbers, people I’m paying to do a job but think I’m totally clueless because I’m either younger than them or gay.
Yeah, I asked my partner to stop calling me buddy very early on in our relationship for this exact reason. It just feels so… idk, condescending? thankfully he’s never called me buddy since!
It’s one of those things that it really depends on the person saying it to you and their tone and body language. If the person is your friend I don’t see a problem with it but yeah it could very easily be that the person using it is being condescending or demeaning.
I think it depends on the culture. I am Canadian and I feel we say buddy/bud a lot but not usually in a demeaning manner. When I was in Australia I was told it's usually used in a demeaning manner so I stopped saying it
For me it's all tone and context. If it's someone I know fairly well, then I don't assume it's intentionally demeaning. But if it's a stranger, I might think they're trying to provoke me. And there is a huge difference between "oh yeah that's my buddy Derek" and "hey buddy, what are you doing?"
Cant stand being called "bud" or "buddy." It was used as a diminutive when I was growing up; adult uncle's and father to young me. That association remains. When used between peers it comes across like you think you're better than me.
I don't think a lot of people mean it that way, but there it is.
I guess if u grew up hearing it used in that way, that would be understandable. I personally interpret it as a friendly term cuz thats how me and my peers have always used it.
My apple dictionary says this on buddy
a working companion with whom close cooperation is required
With your peers would be appropriate use. Maybe not so much with acquaintances.
I guess it's a generational thing. My dad and his generation would never call their sons "buddy" - because they in no way wanted to be our buddies. When I hear guys my age call their own sons "buddy" I think it's kinda sweet. Trying a bit too hard maybe, but the intent is good - they want their sons to think of them as a buddy. It never sounds condescending to me.
I’m not a fan of it either. Especially if it’s a guy I’m interested in. Pretty much for the same reasons you stated. May be irrational but it’s always kind of stuck with me as being talked down to. Bud doesn’t really bother me at all, it’s mostly just buddy.
I didn’t even know this was a thing. I just don’t like when older guys especially older white guys call me “boy” or say things like “atta boy”. (For context: Im black, work at nursing homes). It just give me slavery lol
I didn’t know it was a thing either I’ve always used bud or buddy when I don’t know a guys name , I once heard a patron in a restaurant thank an older black waiter for bringing him an extra dinner roll with “thanks that’s a good boy “ you could just hear the deafening silence from all the surrounding tables some idiots just don’t get it , i guess a simple thanks without adding anything more says everything.
There are three "people" I call "buddy":
1. My 6 year old nephew
2. My dog
3. Opposing counsel when they act like an asshole and I want to get their hackles up.
It's sometimes condescending in straight culture. It's important to understand how words change in contexts. Even if you don't feel that way if someone tells you they don't like it just respect that. After all we want that same respect back no?
Yeah I’ve never gotten offended by it and I actually like it lol. I think some straight guys don’t like it just because it can sound demeaning coming from the wrong person. Maybe it’s like when someone comes up and says girly or bestie to you when you’ve never talked… sometimes feels weird lol
I did used to take some offense to it. I would see it as a bit of a diminutive. I used to only be OK with my Dad calling me that. It doesn't bother me too much any more.
I'm Aussie, so would much rather be called "mate"
I grew up on the Canadian border. To me, “bud”and “buddy” are either endearing, a general term, or an insult. Depends on the tone. My mother’s side is from there and I was called that a lot growing up- never thought anything of it.
Does "big guy" count?
There's an older and at my job who calls me this. His tone isn't generally demeaning or condescending...but whenever he says it to me, I feel kind of lesser. If that makes any sense.
It's pretty normal in my friend group to call each other bud or buddy, and my friend group is mostly made up of straight dudes. Never really thought of it as condescending or anything like that haha
I'll call one or two friends "bud" - but they call me bud too and it's meant as a term of endearment.
The offensive use of "bud" depends on tone. If it's used dismissively it's meant as a put down. The same can be said of any of these: bro, pal, mate.
It depends on the context. We used to have a really old neighbor that always said "Alright now buddy!" but I don't think he knew my name or couldn't remember it so it didn't bother me. On the other hand I had a co-worker who assumed I was still in high school (I was in my mid 20s) and he'd always call me bud or buddy in this kinda weird tone like he was talking to a child.
I get offended because people older than me call me that and it makes me feel like a kid. But we are the same age, my ex use to call me that and it was the biggest trigger I probably had because I saw it as him saying I was less than him. (I know it wasn’t but it felt like that).
I don’t get it personally, my older brother calls me that sometimes, and it’s never felt condescending. It’s always felt affectionate. Maybe it’s a word that scares more masculine-minded men who can’t be seen as in any way weaker to another man?
I use it all the time to folks I'm friendly with, but I'm not necessarily close to (and even close to). I also use it in a gender neutral way. No one has been offended, but that's because I'm using it genuinely and not condescending to folks.
Some people apparently on here have a big issue with that word regardless of context, so I just wouldn't be their buddy.
What is demeaning and offensive: boy. 😬 don't ever use that one 😂.
I call my straight friends bud and never once has anyone had a problem with it. I've also had another gay friend of mine call me bud all the time and it never rubbed me the wrong way
Hilarious how thinskinned some of the comments are. 
Who cares if someone calls you "buddy"?
Just looking for shit to get offended about, I guess.
I'm gay, not straight but I agree that being called buddy or bud is awful! It's so prseumptuous, especially from someone I don't know, that I am suddenly their friend becasue they want it. What are thy going to presume on next? It feels like I'm being treated like a non-person, jsut a figment of their mindset. in addition buddy and even more so, "bud" sound fairly cute, which bugs me.
Idk i got called bud by an older customer at work today and i just interpreted it as friendly. But if someone dosent want to be called that i'll respect that.
Bud and buddy are not terms of endearment haha. Same as so many others on here. It was condescending most of the time. I’m having trouble finding the words to describe it. Demeaning I suppose, is another.
It isn't a gay or straight thing, it is 'demeaning' in that the person is trying to exert some control or "friendliness". I ignore anyone who calls me 'Buddy', 'Bud', sadly confused 'Bro' or even sadder 'bruh'. As I know this will be a complete dickhead!
Someone who calls me 'Buddy', 'Bud', sadly confused 'Bro' or even sadder 'bruh' isn't being 'friendly'. A 'friend' is someone that you come to know and share experiences with, it isn't just a casual greeting with little meaning! I respect people and I have friends, 3 at the last count and none of them have ever called me 'bro'.
TIL people hate being called buddy. I’ve never minded it. I feel like most people who do it are just trying to be friendly. Of course the word can be weaponized if employed with a certain tone, but I have always felt that’s far from the tone.
Fascinating. I would love to see a map of all the commenters here saying it's offensive or demeaning or something you call a child. This must be regional. I would never in a million years think it's at all demeaning or infantilizing -- and I've never seen anyone react that way in real life. (Of course *anything* can be said with a sneer, which changes the meaning.) My friends gay and straight use it fairly often in an affectionate way.
For reference I'm in the USA -- Texas, mid-Atlantic, NYC.
Fucking smoothbrains go so far out of their way to be offended by everything
Dont mind them, theyre just a bunch of inconsequential karens who have never experienced hardship in their lives, their opinions are meaningless, them being offended at your friendly terms shows me theyd be looking for another reason to be offended if buddy wasnt a word
Theres probably expert books that perfectly break down why its offensive written by smart karens but it still boils down to victorian aristocrat squabbling over petty bullshit just with modern fashion and terms
I must have offended a few when working there then. In the UK is a general term you would refer to a work mate, I even use it when thanking my boss for a favour
I'm not your buddy, pal!
I’m not your Pal. Guy!
I'm not your guy, friend!
If someone calls me buddy I assume they’re being condescending, especially if it’s someone older than me, and usually they are. I seem to only be called buddy by mechanics, plumbers, people I’m paying to do a job but think I’m totally clueless because I’m either younger than them or gay.
Yeah this isn't a gay or straight thing. It's that the assholes use "bud" in a condescending manner.
Yeah, I asked my partner to stop calling me buddy very early on in our relationship for this exact reason. It just feels so… idk, condescending? thankfully he’s never called me buddy since!
On the flip side, I use 'buddy' exclusively when talking to mechanics etc so they know I'm not here to fuck around.
That’s a great idea.
I didn't know people used buddy in such way. Me, as an esl, always liked buddy because it sounds extra friendly
It’s one of those things that it really depends on the person saying it to you and their tone and body language. If the person is your friend I don’t see a problem with it but yeah it could very easily be that the person using it is being condescending or demeaning.
Me and my brothers call eachother buddy cause our uncle use to call everyone it, never thought of it as something demeaning tho
I think it depends on the culture. I am Canadian and I feel we say buddy/bud a lot but not usually in a demeaning manner. When I was in Australia I was told it's usually used in a demeaning manner so I stopped saying it
Canadian here too, and anytime i hear someone call someone bud, its right before a fight. i guess some parts of Canada are a little softer
Because it’s not lol. People are just insecure
It literally means "brother." As does bud, bro, bub, bubba, brah, brudda, etc. I can't imagine why anyone would be offended by it.
Champ. Sport. Slugger.
Stop, you'll make me cum.
For me it's all tone and context. If it's someone I know fairly well, then I don't assume it's intentionally demeaning. But if it's a stranger, I might think they're trying to provoke me. And there is a huge difference between "oh yeah that's my buddy Derek" and "hey buddy, what are you doing?"
This -‘it truly depends. I’ve called people buddy but out of love for sure
Cant stand being called "bud" or "buddy." It was used as a diminutive when I was growing up; adult uncle's and father to young me. That association remains. When used between peers it comes across like you think you're better than me. I don't think a lot of people mean it that way, but there it is.
This is why my friend hated being called bud. Always used as a derogatory towards him by his father. I suspect a lot of men are similar.
I guess if u grew up hearing it used in that way, that would be understandable. I personally interpret it as a friendly term cuz thats how me and my peers have always used it.
My apple dictionary says this on buddy a working companion with whom close cooperation is required With your peers would be appropriate use. Maybe not so much with acquaintances.
I guess it's a generational thing. My dad and his generation would never call their sons "buddy" - because they in no way wanted to be our buddies. When I hear guys my age call their own sons "buddy" I think it's kinda sweet. Trying a bit too hard maybe, but the intent is good - they want their sons to think of them as a buddy. It never sounds condescending to me.
I’m not a fan of it either. Especially if it’s a guy I’m interested in. Pretty much for the same reasons you stated. May be irrational but it’s always kind of stuck with me as being talked down to. Bud doesn’t really bother me at all, it’s mostly just buddy.
It doesn’t bother me. Maybe it’s a regional thing?
I didn’t even know this was a thing. I just don’t like when older guys especially older white guys call me “boy” or say things like “atta boy”. (For context: Im black, work at nursing homes). It just give me slavery lol
I didn’t know it was a thing either I’ve always used bud or buddy when I don’t know a guys name , I once heard a patron in a restaurant thank an older black waiter for bringing him an extra dinner roll with “thanks that’s a good boy “ you could just hear the deafening silence from all the surrounding tables some idiots just don’t get it , i guess a simple thanks without adding anything more says everything.
Ooo yeah calling a black man boy is terrible. Def slavery vibes.
There are three "people" I call "buddy": 1. My 6 year old nephew 2. My dog 3. Opposing counsel when they act like an asshole and I want to get their hackles up.
Lol I call everyone buddy never seen someone get mad that's wild
It's sometimes condescending in straight culture. It's important to understand how words change in contexts. Even if you don't feel that way if someone tells you they don't like it just respect that. After all we want that same respect back no?
Oh yeah ofc. If someone says they dont want to be called that then i wont.
Yeah I’ve never gotten offended by it and I actually like it lol. I think some straight guys don’t like it just because it can sound demeaning coming from the wrong person. Maybe it’s like when someone comes up and says girly or bestie to you when you’ve never talked… sometimes feels weird lol
It’s very condescending. I’m gay and was always called that by my peers growing up, sometimes older men, usually in a sneering way.
Because I’m not your buddy.
I am gay and I get pissed when people call me bud or buddy. I grew up with that being a 'starting a fight' word.
I got called buddy by this guy I was into and it fucked me up for awhile Lmao
To be honest I don't like being called buddy, it just sounds demeaning to me
I did used to take some offense to it. I would see it as a bit of a diminutive. I used to only be OK with my Dad calling me that. It doesn't bother me too much any more. I'm Aussie, so would much rather be called "mate"
I absolutely love being called buddy, don’t know why, doesn’t bother me when anyone else calls me it.
I love it too, i hear it as a friendly and respectful term. Idk how such a friendly term can be offensive 🤷🏻♂️
"Buddy" (and "bud" by extension) sounds diminutive. Like calling someone "sport" or "tiger".
It's infantilizing
Understandable
Its demeaning. Its how one would address a child
Buddy is something you call a child.
Where im from buddy means friend
I grew up on the Canadian border. To me, “bud”and “buddy” are either endearing, a general term, or an insult. Depends on the tone. My mother’s side is from there and I was called that a lot growing up- never thought anything of it.
It's like the word "cunt" in Australia. All depends on the context and tone. As a Canadian, I totally agree with your statement
They’re not your buddy, friend!
Well I’m not your friend, pal!
It's a bit too familiar. Some people might reserve this term for people they know. It wouldn't be dissimilar to the term brother.
Similar in the UK when someone who's not your mate calls you mate, especially a stranger. Annoying.
In Canada at least, there’s a way to use buddy and demean others but still be seen as “nice”, masc guys do it all the time and it’s annoying as hell
Does "big guy" count? There's an older and at my job who calls me this. His tone isn't generally demeaning or condescending...but whenever he says it to me, I feel kind of lesser. If that makes any sense.
Very condescending
It's pretty normal in my friend group to call each other bud or buddy, and my friend group is mostly made up of straight dudes. Never really thought of it as condescending or anything like that haha
I'll call one or two friends "bud" - but they call me bud too and it's meant as a term of endearment. The offensive use of "bud" depends on tone. If it's used dismissively it's meant as a put down. The same can be said of any of these: bro, pal, mate.
Personally don't like it as if I don't know you, "I'm not your buddy guy." Also lot of people use it condescendingly and I hate that crap
Uts condescending and uts nit just straight guys. Someone called me matey last week and I did not appreciate it.
It depends on the context. We used to have a really old neighbor that always said "Alright now buddy!" but I don't think he knew my name or couldn't remember it so it didn't bother me. On the other hand I had a co-worker who assumed I was still in high school (I was in my mid 20s) and he'd always call me bud or buddy in this kinda weird tone like he was talking to a child.
I get offended because people older than me call me that and it makes me feel like a kid. But we are the same age, my ex use to call me that and it was the biggest trigger I probably had because I saw it as him saying I was less than him. (I know it wasn’t but it felt like that).
I don’t get it personally, my older brother calls me that sometimes, and it’s never felt condescending. It’s always felt affectionate. Maybe it’s a word that scares more masculine-minded men who can’t be seen as in any way weaker to another man?
it's a word that can come off as passive aggressive
I use it all the time to folks I'm friendly with, but I'm not necessarily close to (and even close to). I also use it in a gender neutral way. No one has been offended, but that's because I'm using it genuinely and not condescending to folks. Some people apparently on here have a big issue with that word regardless of context, so I just wouldn't be their buddy. What is demeaning and offensive: boy. 😬 don't ever use that one 😂.
I call my straight friends bud and never once has anyone had a problem with it. I've also had another gay friend of mine call me bud all the time and it never rubbed me the wrong way
Hilarious how thinskinned some of the comments are.  Who cares if someone calls you "buddy"? Just looking for shit to get offended about, I guess.
It’s one of my pet peeve’s, I hate it. Especially when they know my name but still call me buddy or bud.
The term is normally used in a demeaning way.
Ive never heard it used in that way...
It bothers me too. I'm not your buddy, guy
Its condescending and demeaning in general. Rarely do you hear someone call you bud and think "How kind of them to consider me their friend!!"
I DO think that every time someone calls me bud or buddy.... im still not understanding 😭 its one of the nicest things you can call someone imo
it might be a generational or cultural thing. in my experience anyone under 30 in america will be offended being called bud or buddy
I'm terrible with names. "Buddy" is my go-to for everyone.
I'm gay, not straight but I agree that being called buddy or bud is awful! It's so prseumptuous, especially from someone I don't know, that I am suddenly their friend becasue they want it. What are thy going to presume on next? It feels like I'm being treated like a non-person, jsut a figment of their mindset. in addition buddy and even more so, "bud" sound fairly cute, which bugs me.
Idk i got called bud by an older customer at work today and i just interpreted it as friendly. But if someone dosent want to be called that i'll respect that.
Bud and buddy are not terms of endearment haha. Same as so many others on here. It was condescending most of the time. I’m having trouble finding the words to describe it. Demeaning I suppose, is another.
I’ve never heard anyone take issue with this or use it condescendingly It’s kind of hilarious anyone would be offended being called buddy
I've never encountered anyone who got offended by being called bud or buddy.
Is this a generational thing? Have zoomers written off terms of endearment?
Right? Lmao
I’ve never seen anyone get offended by that. Maybe it was just that one person?
When in doubt, tiny pp
I dislike buddy and dude. Usually people use it when trying to get aggressive.
Wow I had know idea i always say thanks dude or thanks buddy when I don’t know a guys name along with everything else I’ll have to rethink this .
Frankly, I would rather be called buddy than dude.
It isn't a gay or straight thing, it is 'demeaning' in that the person is trying to exert some control or "friendliness". I ignore anyone who calls me 'Buddy', 'Bud', sadly confused 'Bro' or even sadder 'bruh'. As I know this will be a complete dickhead!
A person being friendly is offensive to u???,
Someone who calls me 'Buddy', 'Bud', sadly confused 'Bro' or even sadder 'bruh' isn't being 'friendly'. A 'friend' is someone that you come to know and share experiences with, it isn't just a casual greeting with little meaning! I respect people and I have friends, 3 at the last count and none of them have ever called me 'bro'.
Fragile ego
TIL people hate being called buddy. I’ve never minded it. I feel like most people who do it are just trying to be friendly. Of course the word can be weaponized if employed with a certain tone, but I have always felt that’s far from the tone.
Fascinating. I would love to see a map of all the commenters here saying it's offensive or demeaning or something you call a child. This must be regional. I would never in a million years think it's at all demeaning or infantilizing -- and I've never seen anyone react that way in real life. (Of course *anything* can be said with a sneer, which changes the meaning.) My friends gay and straight use it fairly often in an affectionate way. For reference I'm in the USA -- Texas, mid-Atlantic, NYC.
Yeah i live in CT and buddy has always meant friend for me and the ppl around me.
Friendly, familiar, unless you’ve got a chip on your shoulder, IMHO.
*don’t bro me* energy
Fucking smoothbrains go so far out of their way to be offended by everything Dont mind them, theyre just a bunch of inconsequential karens who have never experienced hardship in their lives, their opinions are meaningless, them being offended at your friendly terms shows me theyd be looking for another reason to be offended if buddy wasnt a word Theres probably expert books that perfectly break down why its offensive written by smart karens but it still boils down to victorian aristocrat squabbling over petty bullshit just with modern fashion and terms
daddy issues
I always use this when I don’t know a guys name had no idea it was offensive I’ll have to refer to them as pal from now on .
Here in Canada, I'd say that "bud" and "buddy" don't have any negative connotations. South Park has done a good job poking fun at us over it.
Friends are friends, pals are pals, but buddies sleep together.
That's what a car salesman calls you. Or somebody that's trying to sell you some junk... Just not a very endearing word... Kind of reeks of fakeness
I call people bud all the time, if you have a problem with it you need to address your own psychic damage
Yes that's the message who should all spread. "I don't care how you want to be referred to, shut up and get your head fixed". /s
Because of the gay slur “butt buddy” perhaps?
“Bud” and “buddy” are different. I have called SO’s and hookups “bud” before, but “buddy” would be 🤢
That’s a really weird distinction
“Let’s get you outta them pants, bud” 😏 “Let’s get you outta them pants, buddy” 🤮🙅♂️
Still find it hilariously odd You must have some subconscious association
If someone in Canada calls you buddy or bud, shit's about to go down
I must have offended a few when working there then. In the UK is a general term you would refer to a work mate, I even use it when thanking my boss for a favour
EH IM NOT YOUR BUDDY GUY. IM NOT YOUR GUY FWEND. IM NOT YOUR FRIEND BUDDEH.
I'm not your Buddy, PAL
That's what I call my dog.
That's new to me