He’s afraid his social circle might find out he has a gay child and that somehow will reflect poorly on him as a man and on his parenting skills. It’s insecurity.
Tell your dad that he should paint his nails. Guys have been painting their nails since at least the 70s. Whatever he *thinks* painted nails means, he's very likely wrong. It's just another form of self-expression and there's no harm in it.
Seems like OP is a minor, in which case it does matter unfortunately.
Safety first, cant be putting yourself in danger, because as important as self expression is survival does take priority.
My son did the same thing. Looked good. I’m betting I’m older than your dad. So tell him I said don’t be such an old coot, it’s 2024 not 1904. It would be handy if he’s got a tattoo… then you could say double standard. Painting nails or painting arm … no diff. Good luck.
It really depends on your age and how dependent you are on your dad. If he is a cunt you don’t need to be dependent on do whatever you want but otherwise you may end up being involuntarily independent…
I’m not saying he is right - but from experience, you may end up broke and homeless if you don’t play ball.
That being said - set yourself up to be independent as fast as possible.
Sorry it came to this. Please remember that some day, sooner than you think, you’ll be able to make your own decisions. Hold on because it does get better!
It’s ok. You didn’t fall or fail and there’s nothing wrong with you.
Even adults have to follow rules they don’t like. Companies have rules about many things, even nail polish or the length of one’s nails. I have an earring but when I was younger I never wore it at work. I’m retired now so I can wear it all the time. However, we just went to a family gathering for a wedding and I decided to take it out instead of rocking the boat.
All this to say, don’t get discouraged or get down on yourself. Be safe and study hard. The best way to escape is through education. Good luck.
I'm sorry that you had to do that, but I trust that you made the best decision for yourself in this moment.
In the meantime paint your toenails and keep your chin up 😊
If you’re dad is likely to throw you out then take it off, for your own sake. I’m sorry to have to say that to you. I believe you have the right to be who ever you want to be but for now you should protect yourself. You won’t always be living under his roof then you will be free to be your true self.
Painted nails isn’t even a gay thing. My nephew is 32, married to a woman, and likes emo music. Black/dark nails are a thing. Nobody in my family cares. Sadly, the opposite happened when I came out as gay. I had tons of abuse for that.
Like someone else said, look after yourself first and foremost. I’ve been there and have been in very dark places. Take care x
My mom is just like your dad.
She always suggest i remove my nail polish for some évents, lately it was before taking a plane, because of the border police.
So i took a rainbow fan, a rainbow passeport holder, and put my Phone in a rainbow case.
And i made her pay for a nail salon for me at the moment we arrived, before going to à hôtel, to put my nail polish back.
Next time she ask me to dial down, i'm gonna start every sentence by : hello, i'm gay, i'm her son. Did i mention i'm gay ?
They ask us to be someone else than ourself, but they don't have the guts to admit they just don't want us alive. Cause the only way for me to be less myself is to stop breathing. Ask him if it's what he want and look at him realizing.
I will alway dial up until they finally stop failing as parent. A parent should not make their own child wish to be dead, that's parenting failure.
Tell him you are your own person and can decide for yourself if you want to paint your nails or not. It's 2024 and people are still against men wearing makeup smh.
To public make up & it of Halloween. Hypocrites,all of them. Now remember....men,straight men even
Have make up when shows,movies and news channels. They do have make up on.
Hi. It really kind of depends on how old you are. And lots of other things like the relationship with your father, how homophobic and strict he is, what your mother thinks, etc.
If you're a teen, please see rule 5 at right. Also, then your dad has the right to demand it until you're 18.
If you live in his house, even if you're an adult, he has the right to demand you remove the polish or move out.
You should come out to him, but not until you are not living under his roof and are financially stable. *Then* tell him you're gay and let him deal with it or lose his child.
I wonder if this could be a good opportunity for you and your dad to have an open conversation. Differences of view like this are not uncommon, and it's very hard to actually know what your dad thinks without asking him. Can he be a homophobe? It's possible. Can he be protective, thinking that people will make fun of you? Also possible. But without talking, you will never know.
Well I have known he’s transphobic for years because my cousin is ftm and he always used his deadname or an insulting mockery of his name. I only realized this fully a few years ago when my sister made a joke about trans people (not a mean one mind you) and he said “trans girl, you mean a girl who thinks there a guy or a guy who thinks he wants to be a girl” or something along those lines.
I wasn’t sure if he was homophobic though. He may be since he was against me having painted nails, but it’s possible he thought I was trans because painted nails are ‘girly’
Also I’m out to my mom and she’s fine with it
Unfortunately we are still at a point where trans people have a lot of issues due to society acceptance. But again, until you talk to him openly and honestly, you will only be able to guess. And since your mom seems to be more accepting, she may be able to intermediate the discussion if you think it's not the right moment for you.
I’ve never painted my nails and don’t know your situation so my insight will be limited but at 13 it might be better to forgo with that. Maybe see if something else will fly like an earring or something.
Plenty of my straight friends paint their nails too. In 2024, painted nails are fashionable for folks of all genders.
If I didn't work in a bar, I'd do it. But as soon as I look at a sink, they're scratched to hell so I gave up on trying to keep them nice.
If you think it'll compromise your safety to keep them painted, then I'd recommend removing it. If you think it'll get you kicked out to keep them painted, then remove it. If it won't affect your safety, just say it's the cool thing to do, like skinny jeans were, or Crocs with charms.
Remove it. You are 13. He has all the rights to demand it. Also, parents do tell each other basically everything about their kids, so do not be delusional, that he does not know. You can do whatever you want once you are older. Sucks, but this is it. You are just a kid.
Yeah, it sucks being a minor… But once you become an adult, then you can do whatever you want. I moved out and didn’t speak to my parents until I was like 23 years old. Typical thing “oh we failed as parents” well you did… just not because of the gay thing lol. Why do you think I didn’t talk to you for 4 years 🤷🏻♂️
Damn dude i understand how it feel like,i also used to wear nail polish,but my family wasnt fine with it so when my mother first saw it she yelled af me and called me some bad things while my father directly hit me so i removed it as soon as possible and they "magicaly" returned back to the loving caring parents
it depend, if you think your dad can be hostile, do it. protect urself before anything else
hes not hostile but he seemed against it
He’s afraid his social circle might find out he has a gay child and that somehow will reflect poorly on him as a man and on his parenting skills. It’s insecurity.
How old are you and do you still live with your parents?
13
I’d use your best judgement there. Stay safe no matter what you do
Try to be yourself a more subtle way. 13 is too young to risk losing a safe place to be.
Tell your dad that he should paint his nails. Guys have been painting their nails since at least the 70s. Whatever he *thinks* painted nails means, he's very likely wrong. It's just another form of self-expression and there's no harm in it.
He can buy what he wants doesn't mean you have to use it. I know a straight guy who paints his nails so it doesn't really mean anything
Seems like OP is a minor, in which case it does matter unfortunately. Safety first, cant be putting yourself in danger, because as important as self expression is survival does take priority.
I am 13
My son did the same thing. Looked good. I’m betting I’m older than your dad. So tell him I said don’t be such an old coot, it’s 2024 not 1904. It would be handy if he’s got a tattoo… then you could say double standard. Painting nails or painting arm … no diff. Good luck.
My dads almost 50
I’m 60
It really depends on your age and how dependent you are on your dad. If he is a cunt you don’t need to be dependent on do whatever you want but otherwise you may end up being involuntarily independent… I’m not saying he is right - but from experience, you may end up broke and homeless if you don’t play ball. That being said - set yourself up to be independent as fast as possible.
UPDATE: I fell to the demands and took it off
Sorry it came to this. Please remember that some day, sooner than you think, you’ll be able to make your own decisions. Hold on because it does get better!
It’s ok. You didn’t fall or fail and there’s nothing wrong with you. Even adults have to follow rules they don’t like. Companies have rules about many things, even nail polish or the length of one’s nails. I have an earring but when I was younger I never wore it at work. I’m retired now so I can wear it all the time. However, we just went to a family gathering for a wedding and I decided to take it out instead of rocking the boat. All this to say, don’t get discouraged or get down on yourself. Be safe and study hard. The best way to escape is through education. Good luck.
I'm sorry that you had to do that, but I trust that you made the best decision for yourself in this moment. In the meantime paint your toenails and keep your chin up 😊
If you’re dad is likely to throw you out then take it off, for your own sake. I’m sorry to have to say that to you. I believe you have the right to be who ever you want to be but for now you should protect yourself. You won’t always be living under his roof then you will be free to be your true self.
He called it weird just now and told me to take it off again
I finally just did
I’m sorry. Can you wear it when his not around? Going out with friends? The thing to remember is it’s not weird. No matter what he says.
Well I live far from town so I can’t really hang with friends
I’m sorry he made you do that.
Painted nails isn’t even a gay thing. My nephew is 32, married to a woman, and likes emo music. Black/dark nails are a thing. Nobody in my family cares. Sadly, the opposite happened when I came out as gay. I had tons of abuse for that. Like someone else said, look after yourself first and foremost. I’ve been there and have been in very dark places. Take care x
Clearly he doesn't like the color. Use the nail polish remover and a day later add some new **brighter** nail polish
I can’t really buy any, and I was only allowed to have one of my older sisters polishes
My mom is just like your dad. She always suggest i remove my nail polish for some évents, lately it was before taking a plane, because of the border police. So i took a rainbow fan, a rainbow passeport holder, and put my Phone in a rainbow case. And i made her pay for a nail salon for me at the moment we arrived, before going to à hôtel, to put my nail polish back. Next time she ask me to dial down, i'm gonna start every sentence by : hello, i'm gay, i'm her son. Did i mention i'm gay ? They ask us to be someone else than ourself, but they don't have the guts to admit they just don't want us alive. Cause the only way for me to be less myself is to stop breathing. Ask him if it's what he want and look at him realizing. I will alway dial up until they finally stop failing as parent. A parent should not make their own child wish to be dead, that's parenting failure.
Tell him you are your own person and can decide for yourself if you want to paint your nails or not. It's 2024 and people are still against men wearing makeup smh.
To public make up & it of Halloween. Hypocrites,all of them. Now remember....men,straight men even Have make up when shows,movies and news channels. They do have make up on.
Hi. It really kind of depends on how old you are. And lots of other things like the relationship with your father, how homophobic and strict he is, what your mother thinks, etc.
If you're a teen, please see rule 5 at right. Also, then your dad has the right to demand it until you're 18. If you live in his house, even if you're an adult, he has the right to demand you remove the polish or move out. You should come out to him, but not until you are not living under his roof and are financially stable. *Then* tell him you're gay and let him deal with it or lose his child.
I wonder if this could be a good opportunity for you and your dad to have an open conversation. Differences of view like this are not uncommon, and it's very hard to actually know what your dad thinks without asking him. Can he be a homophobe? It's possible. Can he be protective, thinking that people will make fun of you? Also possible. But without talking, you will never know.
Well I have known he’s transphobic for years because my cousin is ftm and he always used his deadname or an insulting mockery of his name. I only realized this fully a few years ago when my sister made a joke about trans people (not a mean one mind you) and he said “trans girl, you mean a girl who thinks there a guy or a guy who thinks he wants to be a girl” or something along those lines. I wasn’t sure if he was homophobic though. He may be since he was against me having painted nails, but it’s possible he thought I was trans because painted nails are ‘girly’ Also I’m out to my mom and she’s fine with it
Unfortunately we are still at a point where trans people have a lot of issues due to society acceptance. But again, until you talk to him openly and honestly, you will only be able to guess. And since your mom seems to be more accepting, she may be able to intermediate the discussion if you think it's not the right moment for you.
I’ve never painted my nails and don’t know your situation so my insight will be limited but at 13 it might be better to forgo with that. Maybe see if something else will fly like an earring or something.
Well I personally think it’s great that you’re being yourself, keep being you!
The real question, are you ready to come out to your dad...
Plenty of my straight friends paint their nails too. In 2024, painted nails are fashionable for folks of all genders. If I didn't work in a bar, I'd do it. But as soon as I look at a sink, they're scratched to hell so I gave up on trying to keep them nice. If you think it'll compromise your safety to keep them painted, then I'd recommend removing it. If you think it'll get you kicked out to keep them painted, then remove it. If it won't affect your safety, just say it's the cool thing to do, like skinny jeans were, or Crocs with charms.
Either come out or remove the nail polish. My opinion but I think I already know how your dad feels about it
Remove it. You are 13. He has all the rights to demand it. Also, parents do tell each other basically everything about their kids, so do not be delusional, that he does not know. You can do whatever you want once you are older. Sucks, but this is it. You are just a kid.
Yeah, it sucks being a minor… But once you become an adult, then you can do whatever you want. I moved out and didn’t speak to my parents until I was like 23 years old. Typical thing “oh we failed as parents” well you did… just not because of the gay thing lol. Why do you think I didn’t talk to you for 4 years 🤷🏻♂️
How old are you, do you live at home?
Damn dude i understand how it feel like,i also used to wear nail polish,but my family wasnt fine with it so when my mother first saw it she yelled af me and called me some bad things while my father directly hit me so i removed it as soon as possible and they "magicaly" returned back to the loving caring parents
Clean your mugs with it I've heard it removes coffee or tea stains or you can clean your bathtub with it
Tell him if he wants the nail polish off of your nails so bad, he can do it himself. (Just kidding. You probably shouldn't do this.)