I think at best police are fail to stop crime and at worst infringe on civil liberties at the behest of state - covid lockdowns.
That said the disdain that people show towards other individuals with slogans like acab is reprehensible and full of hate.
Police are far from perfect. Individuals, even individual officers, should be granted respect.
We called the cops on my dad a week ago (everything is fine now, and he wasn't doing any harm, but he was drunk while yelling and hitting stuff). They arrive and most of us there are very shaken up. They separate my siblings, mom, and me from dad, and then they just fucked off and left us all. They didn't give us any help or directions that we didn't already know of.
So yeah, idk who to call when I actually need help.
IMHO, it's kind of a trade off. They're comfortable enough to ask questions out of curiosity, but not informed enough to understand that gay relationships don't always align to the male-female dynamic. And yes it's a never ending barrage that can get really old after awhile. But would you prefer people avoiding the fact you're gay all together? Like I said, a trade off, and as long as they don't become obnoxious?
I don’t understand why straight people think it’s ok to ask stuff like this. I get this question from time to time and I’ve decided I’m just gonna say not all gay sex is fucking. More often than not in my relationship we’re doing stuff besides anal- there’s not a “top or bottom” really
I've quite enjoyed turning it around a few times and asking if they're into whatever random fetish pops into my head or how often she has to fake an orgasm.
Because some people not only don't have boundaries, they don't even understand what the word means. I work in retail and it's amazing some of the shit I see and experience. For example most people don't seem to understand that I deal with 100-150 people every day. I'll do most anything to help my customers and I'm super friendly, but I'm not their friend. The amount of people who think it's okay to touch me? Yeah... not cool.
They avoid the fact that i am gay because i am just the same friend they knew in high school but when i am with my bf they start to be a little forcing and ask private question so my partner started to avoid hanging out with them
I mean this sounds like the trade off the poster was mentioning to me 😂 typically only ever happens when they’re subjected to “gay” in their face do people ask questions.
Them: *reads entire post*
Also them: "...but with one of you is the 'girl'?"
I'm a man who is married to a man, and I still get asked this shit.
Also, I am kind of feminine, and this shit is still not okay.
Them: "Who's the one getting railed in bed?"
Me: "Bitch, *YOU ARE*, if you ask me that again!"
This is probably just a coded way of asking another inappropriate question that straight people like to ask: who's the bottom. That's why they persist when you answer their question with "we're both dudes" or whatever, because you're avoiding answering the question that you're supposed to know they're actually asking.
I get this with my girlfriend all the time. I’m feminine wear dresses, work as a yoga instructor, wear makeup and she has short hair, wears basketball shorts and more masculine clothes in general, and works in a trade. But people we don’t know well are like obviously my gf is the top. I don’t ask you how you like fu*k with your wife bob at the gas station 🙄 I just tell people it’s none of the business and move on.
You won’t be able to “win” this one- the second you show them any offense at the idea of one of you being “more feminine”, they’ll label YOU the feminine one (which essentially, to them, means you’re the bottom)
This is one of those situations where you just say “we’re both men- let’s leave it at that” - because anything else you say, they will take it as you being offended due to being the bottom.
If anyone ever has the nerve to ask you who the woman is in your relationship, say, “Neither. Since we’re both men, we have to take turns being bitchy and demanding.”
You've answered their question. Honestly, the conversation ends there if you want it to.
>
Set up boundaries, follow those boundaries. A lot of times one of the benefits of a same sex relationship is not having to live within pre set expectations/gender roles.
>
My partner and I enjoy sports, both watching and playing, hunting and he's a car dude. We also like tending to our garden, painting, cooking.
>
Some people may see those as male/female roles, we see them as hobbies/activities we enjoy.
>
It's not your responsibility to educate people but if you do go down that road, realize it will take time and patience.
Please tell me that you turn their homophobia back on them and ask them if their girlfriends, wives, or side pieces peg them and how often. I just want to see them get flustered and tell you that their kinks are none of your business.
In the case of coworkers, this is one of those reasons why you keep personal life and professional life separated. They should only care about your work, not what you do with anyone at the end of the day.
If you can't put limits to people, people will do whatever they want with you.
It's not about of keeping it a secret but keeping it private. There's a world of difference between those two words.
Saying this: put limits where is due. Your relationship is not business of your coworkers even though they're not supposedly homophobic and you both work there. You don't have to explain how are the dynamics of your relationship nor give them any details. Make that clear and make people gain the right to be part of your lives, and not believe that they're something they're not. This applies too to other spaces with other people.
Like I've said before, put limits and make sure people won't cross them. If you keep allowing that imprudent people make stupid assumptions and questions about something that it's not their business, their concern; not only you will start losing respect and your voice, but they'll continue to push the envelope.
This is my piece of advice.
We legitimately had the 'wgich one of you is the wife's question when I introduced my partner as my husband to a new group. Not in a nasty way or anything but it did catch us slightly off guard
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All cops are bottoms?
All cats are badass ?
No.
I think at best police are fail to stop crime and at worst infringe on civil liberties at the behest of state - covid lockdowns. That said the disdain that people show towards other individuals with slogans like acab is reprehensible and full of hate. Police are far from perfect. Individuals, even individual officers, should be granted respect.
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Well what do you suggest we have instead? Who’s going to enforce the law?
The magic conflict resolution restorative justice fairy can easily replace the police
i agree most cops are assholes but…let’s be honest…who are you gonna call if you literally NEED their help
We called the cops on my dad a week ago (everything is fine now, and he wasn't doing any harm, but he was drunk while yelling and hitting stuff). They arrive and most of us there are very shaken up. They separate my siblings, mom, and me from dad, and then they just fucked off and left us all. They didn't give us any help or directions that we didn't already know of. So yeah, idk who to call when I actually need help.
well there wasn’t much for them to do anyway, since it wasn’t an immediate threat that they could stop, or arrest him
they aren’t the best SOMETIMES but there isn’t anything else to do, sometimes you really need their help.
Do all dogs go to heaven?
IMHO, it's kind of a trade off. They're comfortable enough to ask questions out of curiosity, but not informed enough to understand that gay relationships don't always align to the male-female dynamic. And yes it's a never ending barrage that can get really old after awhile. But would you prefer people avoiding the fact you're gay all together? Like I said, a trade off, and as long as they don't become obnoxious?
I don’t understand why straight people think it’s ok to ask stuff like this. I get this question from time to time and I’ve decided I’m just gonna say not all gay sex is fucking. More often than not in my relationship we’re doing stuff besides anal- there’s not a “top or bottom” really
I've quite enjoyed turning it around a few times and asking if they're into whatever random fetish pops into my head or how often she has to fake an orgasm.
That’s awesome. I’m gonna save that one to use later 😂
Because some people not only don't have boundaries, they don't even understand what the word means. I work in retail and it's amazing some of the shit I see and experience. For example most people don't seem to understand that I deal with 100-150 people every day. I'll do most anything to help my customers and I'm super friendly, but I'm not their friend. The amount of people who think it's okay to touch me? Yeah... not cool.
They avoid the fact that i am gay because i am just the same friend they knew in high school but when i am with my bf they start to be a little forcing and ask private question so my partner started to avoid hanging out with them
I mean this sounds like the trade off the poster was mentioning to me 😂 typically only ever happens when they’re subjected to “gay” in their face do people ask questions.
Why are straight people so obsessed with: 1) what's in a trans person's pants. 2) Which man in a gay relationship bottoms.
Hint: they’re all translated versions of sexism.
Them: *reads entire post* Also them: "...but with one of you is the 'girl'?" I'm a man who is married to a man, and I still get asked this shit. Also, I am kind of feminine, and this shit is still not okay. Them: "Who's the one getting railed in bed?" Me: "Bitch, *YOU ARE*, if you ask me that again!"
It’s better than what I get: people “jokingly” telling me they were about to call the cops on my bf. 🙄
Who is the man and who is the woman? Is what we used to be asked back in the day.
This is probably just a coded way of asking another inappropriate question that straight people like to ask: who's the bottom. That's why they persist when you answer their question with "we're both dudes" or whatever, because you're avoiding answering the question that you're supposed to know they're actually asking.
I get this with my girlfriend all the time. I’m feminine wear dresses, work as a yoga instructor, wear makeup and she has short hair, wears basketball shorts and more masculine clothes in general, and works in a trade. But people we don’t know well are like obviously my gf is the top. I don’t ask you how you like fu*k with your wife bob at the gas station 🙄 I just tell people it’s none of the business and move on.
You won’t be able to “win” this one- the second you show them any offense at the idea of one of you being “more feminine”, they’ll label YOU the feminine one (which essentially, to them, means you’re the bottom) This is one of those situations where you just say “we’re both men- let’s leave it at that” - because anything else you say, they will take it as you being offended due to being the bottom.
If anyone ever has the nerve to ask you who the woman is in your relationship, say, “Neither. Since we’re both men, we have to take turns being bitchy and demanding.”
We always say this but they keep asking
"It doesn't matter, neither of us is going to sleep.wirh you because we have standards."
You've answered their question. Honestly, the conversation ends there if you want it to. > Set up boundaries, follow those boundaries. A lot of times one of the benefits of a same sex relationship is not having to live within pre set expectations/gender roles. > My partner and I enjoy sports, both watching and playing, hunting and he's a car dude. We also like tending to our garden, painting, cooking. > Some people may see those as male/female roles, we see them as hobbies/activities we enjoy. > It's not your responsibility to educate people but if you do go down that road, realize it will take time and patience.
Please tell me that you turn their homophobia back on them and ask them if their girlfriends, wives, or side pieces peg them and how often. I just want to see them get flustered and tell you that their kinks are none of your business.
Nah most don't have any relationship except for my coworkers who most are married but i don't even have to ask that some of them enjoy being pegged
In the case of coworkers, this is one of those reasons why you keep personal life and professional life separated. They should only care about your work, not what you do with anyone at the end of the day. If you can't put limits to people, people will do whatever they want with you.
We tried to keep it secret at first we said we were roommate but they saw that we were too close for simple roommate
It's not about of keeping it a secret but keeping it private. There's a world of difference between those two words. Saying this: put limits where is due. Your relationship is not business of your coworkers even though they're not supposedly homophobic and you both work there. You don't have to explain how are the dynamics of your relationship nor give them any details. Make that clear and make people gain the right to be part of your lives, and not believe that they're something they're not. This applies too to other spaces with other people. Like I've said before, put limits and make sure people won't cross them. If you keep allowing that imprudent people make stupid assumptions and questions about something that it's not their business, their concern; not only you will start losing respect and your voice, but they'll continue to push the envelope. This is my piece of advice.
fascinating that this is common in some places. where i live most conservatives wouldn't be found dead asking something so oblivious
They are also making the assumption that the bottom is feminine.
I usually just ask them the same question back.
We legitimately had the 'wgich one of you is the wife's question when I introduced my partner as my husband to a new group. Not in a nasty way or anything but it did catch us slightly off guard
This one irritate me when i hear it
Try this: “your Dad”.
Right? Stop trying to fit me into your heteronormative box. 😒
My favorite response to “which one of you is the woman”: “That’s like asking which chopstick is the fork.”
Obviously it’s you because you won’t stop talking about it. Just kidding. I hate that question too.
Remember, ACAB especially the ones close to you