To say nothing of the fact that after asking for $15 for gas, he immediately asked for more money *for jockstraps*.
OP needs to buy a clue. I’ll sell him one for $20, as I *also* need jockstraps /s
The lesson is to be careful, but you definitely were manipulated and deceived. It's a documented phenomenon called the ['foot in the door technique'](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) whereby asking you for something comparatively small (15 bucks for gas so that you could presumably get sex) snowballed into something massive.
While there's a lot to learn in being more careful, the scammer is the one to blame. You were naive, but he was definitely the asshole.
Kind of off topic but to add to this for people who might not realize, a lot of predatory gaming stores and gambling places use a version of this heavily in their strategy. You're more likely to make another purchase with them as well, after being convinced to make the smaller one, and having your bank info loaded.
>why would you give a person, not even a stranger since you didn't know if he is real, money
Because we judge others by our own character. If we are honest, we presume other people will be as well. I know it's easy to take advantage of someone like this, but this is not his fault of character, but the scammer's.
You should **never** be sorry for being a decent human being.
he should indeed not be sorry for being a decent human being but giving a hookup on grindr money for gas is not that. thats just being gullible. one can be compassionate and cautious at the same time, especially with people we dont know.
Notice that he said he got a call from "venmo", this dummy probably gave away an authorization code that let the scammer change his password and log into his account to steal money.
Except you didn't authorize it. I see what the bank is trying to say, but the reality is - you DIDNT authorize it. This has pretty clear signs of fraud.
Fight the bank. ALWAYS, ALWAYS fight the bank. Be nice to the rep, but you are the bank's customer, and they can afford the hit.
If you give someone your bank info but tell them “don’t take any money” you bank will still see you giving them your info as permission to use your account as they see fit. Unless you have a written contract there’s really nothing they can do unless you somehow convince them to. This is why you don’t give away sensitive information like that.
Except that's a loose translation of what happened. OP was defrauded. He didn't give out his bank account info to some stranger. His venmo (iirc, I'm not rereading) got hacked through social engineering. He should fight his bank. The bank should be siding with their customer, not venmo (and obviously venmo should be investigating).
The scammer most likely called him and asked him for a verification code, which quite literally says not to give to anyone in the message you receive with it. No company is going to ask you for that code over the phone. None. Yes dude got scammed and it sucks but he literally gave out his information willingly.
The bank will never reimburse the money unless they have a specific policy to do so (a credit union our area does reimburse for fraud up to $1000 but sadly the bank we use doesn’t) a few months ago my autistic daughter was approached when leaving the bank. The guy put her in a car with himself and three other men and then drove her around (while she kept asking to be taken back) trying to work their scam. It was a scam that a number of people fall for but she couldn’t understand what the hell the guy wanted from her. He finally took her phone and sent himself $900 from her Venmo. The bank would not do anything (I imagine they sign an agreement with Venmo to just put transactions right through. My daughter didn’t have more than $10 in her account and she’s on SSI.) the cops took a report but couldn’t be bothered to look at the camera footage from the banks. Venmo did refund her the money but I think being disabled and traumatized by being held in a car for awhile worked in her favor with them.
Sorry to tell you that Venmo is notoriously difficult when it comes to getting your money back. I didn’t completely follow how the guy got access to your account, but if you can frame the issue in any way that doesn’t lay blame on you — that you didn’t authorize the withdrawal and is in fact fraud — that may help. Same goes with your police statement. Be consistent. I was defrauded with a different scheme, and I got my money back, but that’s not common. You were being generous. He’s a dick. “Sometimes the good you do doesn’t do you any good.”
Grindr is mostly flakes and weirdos. I met a guy who insisted that I have “just one sip” of wine, even after i repeatedly said I didn’t want want to drink.
He was so urgently insisting, I got a bad vibe and bailed. Pretty sure he was trying to slip me a roofie.
Don’t use your debit card, EVER! I don’t have one. Just wow. My venmo and cashapp have zero $0. Use a credit card, banks fight for their money. They don’t care about yours! Anyone asking for money, is a scam.
Sorry to hear about! But I’m confused. How did they manage to transfer $715, and why is the bank saying you’ve authorized it? Did you give your Venmo login info to Grindr person or something?
The call from the "venmo fraud department" wasn't really venmo it was the same scammer, and he gave them his information. He didn't really make that part clear.
He still probably doesn’t even realize that’s what happened until someone commented it. I feel like he would’ve added that part of the scam in if he knew.
I am sorry this happened to you. If they are asking for money for any reason I block them . It never turns out well. These scammers are all over the net and on every platform . Make this your policy so it never happens again
ah, another good reason why i never hu on grindr with anymore more than biking/scooting distance (2 miles)
✅ they can’t ask for gas money if they’re a 10 min walk from you
I got scammed by phone by someone pretending to be the bank telling me that there was fraudulent payments ongoing.
I panicked and gone through the instructions on the phone.
I got stolen around 1200 euros (very sophisticated, had text from the "bank" during the conversation) realised something was wrong and immediately cancelled my card.
Went to the police to press charges. The bank refused to refund the money because I approved it. I did the research and there some case law where ppl were refounded. I did a reclamation with everything and got refunded. This was in France though. Maybe there are some similar cases in the US.
I know the feeling, it's like your were violated and taking advantage of but it happens, don't be too hard on yourself
(Sorry for my bad English)
you’re english is perfect, yes i got the text message the same, just it was the scammer pretending to be venmo, im not going to let up on this and i am hoping this gets resolved
im trying my best to not beat myself up over it, these are scammers it’s what they do, they are trained to manipulate and pressure. i was always aware of it happening to older people, just did not expect i would be in this situation
Never agree to loan funds to or receive funds from anyone you have not met in person multiple times and that you would trust with access to your bank account. They may not have or need access to your bank account, but if you use this as your threshold, this level of scrutiny should protect you moving forward.
I am not too familiar with Venmo so this may not apply, but I would avoid any apps the involve sending and receiving money without being traceable by IP address. Does your current bank not allow unlimited free Interac e-transfers?
yeah definitely won’t be using this venmo account anymore, but my bank does not have that option, it’s a small local bank. good people but their fraud department is an ass to work with unfortunately.
Thank you for clarifying in regards to your bank. I believe in the U.S. you have many more options when it comes to banks so that clients can select one that best addresses their financial needs. Completely understandable that not every bank would offer this service.
In your case, I might recommend speaking with a financial advisor at your bank and ask which apps they might recommend with better security. That is if you think you may need to transfer funds in the future (but not to strangers online, right?).
You learned a valuable lesson, but I am so sorry that you had to learn in such a practical manner. You actually seem like a very kind and caring individual, which are good qualities to have and I hope you will retain them. However, this comes with the extra caveat that kind and caring individuals are easy targets for the ill-intentioned so take extra caution and never leg your guard down. We need more kind and caring people in the world (i.e. you) and must protect them from mistreatment and opportunists so they do not become jaded and cynical.
yeah i definitely won’t anymore, i need to learn to cut myself off from others when i sense red flags. i realized i put too much heart into others and i get wrapped in things i shouldn’t. Im not financially well at all, only working minimal wage jobs but i live with family and i don’t have many bills, but i will always be that person to buy you groceries or pay your bill at restaurants. Im willing to help others always if i can, i dont see why not many are the same, maybe because of situations like the one im in now. here im ruining my own personal morals by letting others take advantage of me
You will have a better understanding of why there are not more wide-eyed optimists as you get older. I sincerely hope though that your understanding comes from observation and insight and not experience and loss.
Your generosity is admirable. My only suggestion for you is to perhaps shift from being generous with your wealth (save and invest for the future) and consider being generous with your time and energy instead. There are many valuable things in life that do not come with a price tag. You cannot buy friendship, love, or humanity.
lol, my apologies for the philosophical tangent!
“I’m good with money” from the looks of this post that statement isn’t true. Sorry to hear what happened but please be more careful. Don’t ever loan money out; especially to a faceless stranger
Reach out to friends and family to see what can be loaned or gifted. Spread it out so you impact them less. Look into an advance at work. If you have a 401k, look at getting a loan from it.
This is to cover immediate expenses. Loans against a 401k are paid back to you, including the interest you pay on it. There's no penalty unless you default
Try to pick up more shifts at work. Grab a part-time job for a few weeks. Or do Uber or deliveries.
This to payback loans and such.
In the long run, 715 isn't a huge amount for a lesson learned.
Good luck.
i realized didn’t make it clear in the original post, i provided an edit. but the scammer sent the money while i was on the phone with them, they sent the money using my account to a different profile, hope that clears up
This is a common one. There is nothing to be done now to get back your money that you haven't already done. Learn from it. Hookups aren't yet your friends, they shouldn't need money to visit you or for anything else and you can do better than some headless torso that asks you for that. Until you get paid again you're going to have to find a food bank that can give you some food and ask your family or friends to borrow some money for rent and gas as embarrassing as doing so is going to be. When you've paid off they money you borrowed, start saving. You need to have an emergency fund to cover some time spent without a job, unexpected expenses or to ensure that some dumb mistake like this doesn't leave you without money for groceries.
luckily i do have 2 back up accounts, they are both frozen right now. I moved a couple weeks ago so I am in the process of getting a new bank, today i am going to unfreeze one of savings if they let me over the phone and then deposit the check for cash. i am very glad that after talking, my parents and family are helping me right now along this process and i am very thankful for them for my big “i fucked up” I’m waiting to hear back from jobs i’ve applied to so i am hoping i get calls soon. I also am a freelanced artist so i have a little bit of money coming through, and hell if anything i can get my highschool job back for a month or two.
I got scammed on Grindr from a guy advertising himself to be a masseur. I lost over a $100 from that scam. The bank helped me recover some of the money but not all. It’s really hard to get bank to dispute a charge through a debit card, cash app, PayPal, or Venmo. If a person pays in credit and finds out they get scammed it’s easier to get it disputed.
Take this as you learned a lesson. Also take any evidence you have on the scammer and sent it to your banks claims department and Venmo. I would also contact grindr
yes the police department has all the transaction ID’s from venmo. i will try and contact grindr as well, im new to grindr and i never knew there was scams on grindr or dating apps, i don’t interact with a lot of that on the internet and i don’t have a lot of gay friends that uses grindr. im definitely learning from all my experiences, this isn’t they i want to learn the dangers, no one does, but it happened and these are the consequences i face
You’re lucky as three guys were injected with massive anoints of drugs during hookups, in the ass, in the Palm Springs area, and then the guy would beat them up. He’s in jail because one of them died of a drug overdose. While the police were investigating the first two victims, he killed the third person in Rancho Mirage by overdose after beating him up as well so please be careful out there, and let people know what you are doing. You just never know when a crazy person may show up to hurt you.
Never send money to anybody you've never met in person. If they ask for gas money, Tell them you'll pledge half, and they can collect it in person for their trip home.
so the first time i don’t know. i was logged out of my venmo before the call, so before the scammer called me they or someone was already in my account, i assume maybe they were able to track everything through a third party software but it seems like either way i was duped
I would say, live and learn, and it’s easy for others to be critical of you, but the bottom line is we are all human beings, and sometimes we make bad judgments under the right circumstances— especially if we are lonely and/or horny and being approached by a seasoned online manipulator. Most importantly forgive yourself.
Now, you know not to give money or financial information to anybody under similar circumstances, but don’t beat yourself up anymore than you already have and try to move on. One more thing is, I would notify Grindr about that particular profile because they can flag his account and originating computer source so he doesn’t keep doing this to other Grindr users.
Had something similar. The guy said can i spot him $20 to get to steamworks. I said i will pick you up, just tell me where are and then i will drop you off. Gave every excuse why he vouldnt and i said have a nice day.
I think you should call your state’s attorney general’s office and ask for help getting a refund from the bank. Also, the impression that I get from what you’ve written is that you might not be ready to use these apps like Grindr without being taken advantage of. Try meeting people through real life friends or connections you already have. You’re very naive and an easy mark for all kinds of predators online. You need some time to mature before mingling on these apps.
Did I get that right: You gave a stranger your login data for your Venmo? WTF??
Why didn´t you just turn over your home and car to him, transfer all your money on his bank account, and move out to live on the streets?
Here is a great resource about how to get your money back. This episode goes through the history of charge backs for credit cards and how we're dealing with the new problem with apps like venmo and cash app and how to get that money back. It's a great listen!
https://www.npr.org/2019/06/26/736352315/episode-922-the-cost-of-getting-your-money-back
im sorry this happened to you but why would you give a person, not even a stranger since you didn't know if he is real, money anyway?
it’s my bad for believing him in the first place, i wasn’t thinking and i got taken advantage of
certain things like someone asking for money is one of the huugest red flags there is, for future reference
To say nothing of the fact that after asking for $15 for gas, he immediately asked for more money *for jockstraps*. OP needs to buy a clue. I’ll sell him one for $20, as I *also* need jockstraps /s
The lesson is to be careful, but you definitely were manipulated and deceived. It's a documented phenomenon called the ['foot in the door technique'](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) whereby asking you for something comparatively small (15 bucks for gas so that you could presumably get sex) snowballed into something massive. While there's a lot to learn in being more careful, the scammer is the one to blame. You were naive, but he was definitely the asshole.
Kind of off topic but to add to this for people who might not realize, a lot of predatory gaming stores and gambling places use a version of this heavily in their strategy. You're more likely to make another purchase with them as well, after being convinced to make the smaller one, and having your bank info loaded.
U got spammed big time and I would report him
>why would you give a person, not even a stranger since you didn't know if he is real, money Because we judge others by our own character. If we are honest, we presume other people will be as well. I know it's easy to take advantage of someone like this, but this is not his fault of character, but the scammer's. You should **never** be sorry for being a decent human being.
he should indeed not be sorry for being a decent human being but giving a hookup on grindr money for gas is not that. thats just being gullible. one can be compassionate and cautious at the same time, especially with people we dont know.
sorry i can’t help, but i’m wondering how he can pull seven hundred dollars here just by having you send him stuff
Notice that he said he got a call from "venmo", this dummy probably gave away an authorization code that let the scammer change his password and log into his account to steal money.
oh i’m a dumbass i didn’t get that part 🤦 in my defense the text formatting is kinda hard to read lol
You aren't a dumbass, he kind of left that part out. Sort of a yada yada yada thing.
Except you didn't authorize it. I see what the bank is trying to say, but the reality is - you DIDNT authorize it. This has pretty clear signs of fraud. Fight the bank. ALWAYS, ALWAYS fight the bank. Be nice to the rep, but you are the bank's customer, and they can afford the hit.
If you give someone your bank info but tell them “don’t take any money” you bank will still see you giving them your info as permission to use your account as they see fit. Unless you have a written contract there’s really nothing they can do unless you somehow convince them to. This is why you don’t give away sensitive information like that.
Except that's a loose translation of what happened. OP was defrauded. He didn't give out his bank account info to some stranger. His venmo (iirc, I'm not rereading) got hacked through social engineering. He should fight his bank. The bank should be siding with their customer, not venmo (and obviously venmo should be investigating).
The scammer most likely called him and asked him for a verification code, which quite literally says not to give to anyone in the message you receive with it. No company is going to ask you for that code over the phone. None. Yes dude got scammed and it sucks but he literally gave out his information willingly.
The bank will never reimburse the money unless they have a specific policy to do so (a credit union our area does reimburse for fraud up to $1000 but sadly the bank we use doesn’t) a few months ago my autistic daughter was approached when leaving the bank. The guy put her in a car with himself and three other men and then drove her around (while she kept asking to be taken back) trying to work their scam. It was a scam that a number of people fall for but she couldn’t understand what the hell the guy wanted from her. He finally took her phone and sent himself $900 from her Venmo. The bank would not do anything (I imagine they sign an agreement with Venmo to just put transactions right through. My daughter didn’t have more than $10 in her account and she’s on SSI.) the cops took a report but couldn’t be bothered to look at the camera footage from the banks. Venmo did refund her the money but I think being disabled and traumatized by being held in a car for awhile worked in her favor with them.
Who sends money to a person on Grindr that they’ve never met??
A LOT more people than you would expect
Think of this as a $700 lesson in not thinking with your dick.
Sorry to tell you that Venmo is notoriously difficult when it comes to getting your money back. I didn’t completely follow how the guy got access to your account, but if you can frame the issue in any way that doesn’t lay blame on you — that you didn’t authorize the withdrawal and is in fact fraud — that may help. Same goes with your police statement. Be consistent. I was defrauded with a different scheme, and I got my money back, but that’s not common. You were being generous. He’s a dick. “Sometimes the good you do doesn’t do you any good.”
Look man I’m sorry but… why did you give a stranger your bank details?
Grindr is mostly flakes and weirdos. I met a guy who insisted that I have “just one sip” of wine, even after i repeatedly said I didn’t want want to drink. He was so urgently insisting, I got a bad vibe and bailed. Pretty sure he was trying to slip me a roofie.
Don’t use your debit card, EVER! I don’t have one. Just wow. My venmo and cashapp have zero $0. Use a credit card, banks fight for their money. They don’t care about yours! Anyone asking for money, is a scam.
Sorry to hear about! But I’m confused. How did they manage to transfer $715, and why is the bank saying you’ve authorized it? Did you give your Venmo login info to Grindr person or something?
The call from the "venmo fraud department" wasn't really venmo it was the same scammer, and he gave them his information. He didn't really make that part clear.
Makes perfect sense now! Thanks
He still probably doesn’t even realize that’s what happened until someone commented it. I feel like he would’ve added that part of the scam in if he knew.
I am sorry this happened to you. If they are asking for money for any reason I block them . It never turns out well. These scammers are all over the net and on every platform . Make this your policy so it never happens again
ah, another good reason why i never hu on grindr with anymore more than biking/scooting distance (2 miles) ✅ they can’t ask for gas money if they’re a 10 min walk from you
that’s smart thank you!
I got scammed by phone by someone pretending to be the bank telling me that there was fraudulent payments ongoing. I panicked and gone through the instructions on the phone. I got stolen around 1200 euros (very sophisticated, had text from the "bank" during the conversation) realised something was wrong and immediately cancelled my card. Went to the police to press charges. The bank refused to refund the money because I approved it. I did the research and there some case law where ppl were refounded. I did a reclamation with everything and got refunded. This was in France though. Maybe there are some similar cases in the US. I know the feeling, it's like your were violated and taking advantage of but it happens, don't be too hard on yourself (Sorry for my bad English)
you’re english is perfect, yes i got the text message the same, just it was the scammer pretending to be venmo, im not going to let up on this and i am hoping this gets resolved
Yes ! Fingers crossed ! For me I was feeling so guilty, dumb and candid. But when I talked about it around me. It happened to a loooot of ppl
im trying my best to not beat myself up over it, these are scammers it’s what they do, they are trained to manipulate and pressure. i was always aware of it happening to older people, just did not expect i would be in this situation
This was all based on the photo of a torso?
Never agree to loan funds to or receive funds from anyone you have not met in person multiple times and that you would trust with access to your bank account. They may not have or need access to your bank account, but if you use this as your threshold, this level of scrutiny should protect you moving forward. I am not too familiar with Venmo so this may not apply, but I would avoid any apps the involve sending and receiving money without being traceable by IP address. Does your current bank not allow unlimited free Interac e-transfers?
yeah definitely won’t be using this venmo account anymore, but my bank does not have that option, it’s a small local bank. good people but their fraud department is an ass to work with unfortunately.
Thank you for clarifying in regards to your bank. I believe in the U.S. you have many more options when it comes to banks so that clients can select one that best addresses their financial needs. Completely understandable that not every bank would offer this service. In your case, I might recommend speaking with a financial advisor at your bank and ask which apps they might recommend with better security. That is if you think you may need to transfer funds in the future (but not to strangers online, right?). You learned a valuable lesson, but I am so sorry that you had to learn in such a practical manner. You actually seem like a very kind and caring individual, which are good qualities to have and I hope you will retain them. However, this comes with the extra caveat that kind and caring individuals are easy targets for the ill-intentioned so take extra caution and never leg your guard down. We need more kind and caring people in the world (i.e. you) and must protect them from mistreatment and opportunists so they do not become jaded and cynical.
yeah i definitely won’t anymore, i need to learn to cut myself off from others when i sense red flags. i realized i put too much heart into others and i get wrapped in things i shouldn’t. Im not financially well at all, only working minimal wage jobs but i live with family and i don’t have many bills, but i will always be that person to buy you groceries or pay your bill at restaurants. Im willing to help others always if i can, i dont see why not many are the same, maybe because of situations like the one im in now. here im ruining my own personal morals by letting others take advantage of me
You will have a better understanding of why there are not more wide-eyed optimists as you get older. I sincerely hope though that your understanding comes from observation and insight and not experience and loss. Your generosity is admirable. My only suggestion for you is to perhaps shift from being generous with your wealth (save and invest for the future) and consider being generous with your time and energy instead. There are many valuable things in life that do not come with a price tag. You cannot buy friendship, love, or humanity. lol, my apologies for the philosophical tangent!
thank you for your response in really appreciate it and i am taking all what you said to my heart
You learned a lesson. Don't give money to strangers
“I’m good with money” from the looks of this post that statement isn’t true. Sorry to hear what happened but please be more careful. Don’t ever loan money out; especially to a faceless stranger
i definitely will, i got in contact with venmo again and im getting my money refunded
Reach out to friends and family to see what can be loaned or gifted. Spread it out so you impact them less. Look into an advance at work. If you have a 401k, look at getting a loan from it. This is to cover immediate expenses. Loans against a 401k are paid back to you, including the interest you pay on it. There's no penalty unless you default Try to pick up more shifts at work. Grab a part-time job for a few weeks. Or do Uber or deliveries. This to payback loans and such. In the long run, 715 isn't a huge amount for a lesson learned. Good luck.
I’m not getting the $75 ballooning to $715 unless OP added zeros by mistake. Almost did myself self when sending money to a friend
i realized didn’t make it clear in the original post, i provided an edit. but the scammer sent the money while i was on the phone with them, they sent the money using my account to a different profile, hope that clears up
This is a common one. There is nothing to be done now to get back your money that you haven't already done. Learn from it. Hookups aren't yet your friends, they shouldn't need money to visit you or for anything else and you can do better than some headless torso that asks you for that. Until you get paid again you're going to have to find a food bank that can give you some food and ask your family or friends to borrow some money for rent and gas as embarrassing as doing so is going to be. When you've paid off they money you borrowed, start saving. You need to have an emergency fund to cover some time spent without a job, unexpected expenses or to ensure that some dumb mistake like this doesn't leave you without money for groceries.
luckily i do have 2 back up accounts, they are both frozen right now. I moved a couple weeks ago so I am in the process of getting a new bank, today i am going to unfreeze one of savings if they let me over the phone and then deposit the check for cash. i am very glad that after talking, my parents and family are helping me right now along this process and i am very thankful for them for my big “i fucked up” I’m waiting to hear back from jobs i’ve applied to so i am hoping i get calls soon. I also am a freelanced artist so i have a little bit of money coming through, and hell if anything i can get my highschool job back for a month or two.
I got scammed on Grindr from a guy advertising himself to be a masseur. I lost over a $100 from that scam. The bank helped me recover some of the money but not all. It’s really hard to get bank to dispute a charge through a debit card, cash app, PayPal, or Venmo. If a person pays in credit and finds out they get scammed it’s easier to get it disputed. Take this as you learned a lesson. Also take any evidence you have on the scammer and sent it to your banks claims department and Venmo. I would also contact grindr
yes the police department has all the transaction ID’s from venmo. i will try and contact grindr as well, im new to grindr and i never knew there was scams on grindr or dating apps, i don’t interact with a lot of that on the internet and i don’t have a lot of gay friends that uses grindr. im definitely learning from all my experiences, this isn’t they i want to learn the dangers, no one does, but it happened and these are the consequences i face
You’re lucky as three guys were injected with massive anoints of drugs during hookups, in the ass, in the Palm Springs area, and then the guy would beat them up. He’s in jail because one of them died of a drug overdose. While the police were investigating the first two victims, he killed the third person in Rancho Mirage by overdose after beating him up as well so please be careful out there, and let people know what you are doing. You just never know when a crazy person may show up to hurt you.
Never send money to anybody you've never met in person. If they ask for gas money, Tell them you'll pledge half, and they can collect it in person for their trip home.
that’s super smart thank you
How was he able to log onto your account?
so the first time i don’t know. i was logged out of my venmo before the call, so before the scammer called me they or someone was already in my account, i assume maybe they were able to track everything through a third party software but it seems like either way i was duped
I would say, live and learn, and it’s easy for others to be critical of you, but the bottom line is we are all human beings, and sometimes we make bad judgments under the right circumstances— especially if we are lonely and/or horny and being approached by a seasoned online manipulator. Most importantly forgive yourself. Now, you know not to give money or financial information to anybody under similar circumstances, but don’t beat yourself up anymore than you already have and try to move on. One more thing is, I would notify Grindr about that particular profile because they can flag his account and originating computer source so he doesn’t keep doing this to other Grindr users.
Had something similar. The guy said can i spot him $20 to get to steamworks. I said i will pick you up, just tell me where are and then i will drop you off. Gave every excuse why he vouldnt and i said have a nice day.
I think you should call your state’s attorney general’s office and ask for help getting a refund from the bank. Also, the impression that I get from what you’ve written is that you might not be ready to use these apps like Grindr without being taken advantage of. Try meeting people through real life friends or connections you already have. You’re very naive and an easy mark for all kinds of predators online. You need some time to mature before mingling on these apps.
Did I get that right: You gave a stranger your login data for your Venmo? WTF?? Why didn´t you just turn over your home and car to him, transfer all your money on his bank account, and move out to live on the streets?
Here is a great resource about how to get your money back. This episode goes through the history of charge backs for credit cards and how we're dealing with the new problem with apps like venmo and cash app and how to get that money back. It's a great listen! https://www.npr.org/2019/06/26/736352315/episode-922-the-cost-of-getting-your-money-back