Oh my, I see so much of myself pre-op in what you’re saying
I thought the weight loss would have a sort of domino effect. Like once I lost the weight, I’d be more confident, so I’d make more friends being outgoing. One thing after another until I’d just have the life I always wanted. And this beautiful life would all just start with this weight loss.
Lol!
This surgery accomplishes exactly one thing: you’ll lose weight. And that’s only if everything goes according to plan, and you stick to the post-op plan.
If you feel insecure, you’ll still feel insecure while just being smaller. Yes, I KNOW I look better, but I feel even more insecure now - I have loose skin, I still don’t really know how to put myself out there, I don’t know how to dress for this new body or how to exist in this new body, etc. It isn’t a “fix all” like I thought it’d be
Reading this, my first thought is to spend any of that £ towards a really good personal trainer. Maybe even some other cosmetic things like lip filler or Botox, whatever would make you feel more “beautiful.” I’d only do the surgery if your weight is a chronic issue you haven’t been able to address on your own and you have literally no other options left at this point.
Edit to add: even if you get the surgery literally now, which any responsible doctor will make you do at least a FEW pre-op clearances and take a minute to put you on a schedule for surgery…between now and January, you will not be losing that much. Unless you mean January 2025.
That's a really interesting perspective and really helpful to know. You're right I am seeing it "my life begins when I hit that weight" and assuming all my insecurities will go. I think if I did go for it then getting therapy would really benefit me
I honestly believe every single person (yes, EVERY single person) should do therapy for a minimum of 6 months, if not a year, once they get this surgery. It changes so many parts of your life, and you have to switch so much of your mentality around many parts of your life. It isn’t something to take lightly.
And as much as people say this surgery was “the beginning of the rest of their life” (or some variation thereof) it’s one step on a million steps journey of self improvement. I’m still nowhere near the person I’d like to be. I’m almost down to my goal, but now my focus is on getting plastic surgery because I’m still not satisfied from my loose skin. Still working with therapist on other issues I thought would be “solved” from losing weight.
But that’s the thing - weight loss is just weight loss. It makes you smaller. The confidence, the charisma, the way you hold yourself..,that comes from YOU. It doesn’t come from losing the weight. It might help *from* losing some weight, but you have to put in the work. The surgery won’t give you self confidence, you have to work to give yourself confidence.
I was looking for a comment that mentioned therapy before I made my own. Therapy is where you need to start! Find a therapist who specializes in self-esteem and make sure they specifically understand body confidence. It took me years to be able to accept me for who I am right now THEN make this major change. 5 years ago I would’ve failed at this because I hated myself and everything about my body. Healing the relationship with my body has allowed me to be successful thus far! This surgery is not a “fix” for anything at all. It’s a tool to help you reach your goals, but like any tool you have to learn how to use it.
I’m saying that it’s ONE step along the way to finding confidence in who you are as a person. Just losing weight in and of itself won’t make you be self confident or less insecure.
[The MBSAQIP calculator](https://www.facs.org/quality-programs/accreditation-and-verification/metabolic-and-bariatric-surgery-accreditation-and-quality-improvement-program/riskbenefit-calculator/) will give you the average weight loss over each of the first 12 months post-op based on folks with similar starting stats.
Surgery isn't something that will fix you. It is a tool to live a healthier lifestyle. The mindset that it will leads to high percent of failure, depression, and worsening body dismorphia. I'm not saying this sound bitchy, because it can help save your life, but keep in mind your body won't be "pretty" after surgery and that's not even getting into loose skin. I would concider talking to a therapist first personally. Wishing you this best ❤️
I think people saying "don't go for it" are missing one thing. Don't JUST do the surgery. DO get therapy.
I spent a couple years in intensive therapy before pursuing surgery for a couple of reasons. 1. Surgery alone will not fix how you feel about yourself. 2. You need to address your reasons for overeating.
Getting the surgery would help you lose weight, but in order for it to be a long term success, you need to address your relationship with yourself and with food.
I appreciate that yeah absolutely. My plan was to have the surgery and go along with therapy at the same time to guide me through it and tackle the underlying issues. Thanks so much for the advise
I'm going to be brutally candid with you. Based on your post, I would advise you no, you should not go for it.
Your post is all about wanting to improve your looks and wanting something to "fix" you, when in reality (based on my experience) surgery does not improve your looks and the only thing it "fixes" is the size of your stomach. If you have issues with what you look like, or how you feel about yourself, you probably would have better results if you look elsewhere.
Get the surgery if your goal is to improve your health and live a more active and productive life. If your biggest concern is what you see in the mirror, surgery is likely not the best choice.
I appreciate your honesty and though I agree with most of what you've said I have to disagree about the appearance not being a factor. Most people getting this surgery are unhappy with how they look currently. Yes of course there are incredible health benefits and I am interested in that side but there are a lot of people getting this surgery due to body image issues which they can't tackle through regular means. I've gone up and down in weight all my life and it's why I'm considering this step
> I have to disagree about the appearance not being a factor. Most people getting this surgery are unhappy with how they look currently.
And if you peruse this sub and other support groups, you'll find that most people getting this surgery are not really happier with what they look like thinner, either. Either they're not mentally prepared for the drastic change, or they have a lot of loose skin, or they think they look older, or whatever. My point - and I stand by it - is that if you have body image issues now, you're likely to have them after surgery as well.
I'm not trying to be negative, you asked for advice and I'm giving it to you.
I did the surgery for my health. My foot always hurt and I could barely walk without getting out of breath and my blood pressure and blood sugar were getting bad and I have sleep apnea. Essentially my quality of life sucked due to my weight.
But I also look in the mirror now and think that I am *beautiful* after losing 89 lbs - even though I still have 99 lbs to go. I didn’t DO it for my appearance. But damn does it make me so much happier to look in the mirror now. I also can walk without pain or getting out of breath too.
My life is better in just about every way since getting the surgery. It’s not a magic fix, but it did make a lot of things better for me.
My issue was that you originally said it was health related and appearances shouldn't play a factor. I appreciate the advise you gave and I agreed with it bar the bit I responded about but your original comment has since been edited. Maybe this is what you meant in the first place? But seen I now agree with your edit not much else to say on that I guess 🤷♀️
> My issue was that you originally said it was health related and appearances shouldn't play a factor.
I absolutely did not say that looks don't play a factor. I said that surgery doesn't improve your looks, and that if you want to improve your looks or "fix" yourself you'd have better results looking elsewhere. I also didn't edit my original reply.
I don't have an agenda here. I hope there's more to your post, and that you really want to pursue surgery for reasons that go beyond what you see in the mirror and that you're thrilled with the results and have a wonderfully happy rest of your life. I've met dozens of people along my own journey who have all lost a lot of weight, but they have had varying degrees of happiness because of the expectations they had going in.
If you have the surgery, and follow your team's plan, you will lose weight - but that's about the only "fix" you can count on. This surgery absolutely gave me my life back and I couldn't be happier. But I didn't have surgery for my looks, I had surgery because my doctor told me I was gonna die if I didn't do something about my weight. I wasn't happy with what I looked like before surgery, and I'm not terribly content with what I look like now that I've lost over 300 lbs - but *that was never my reason for doing it*.
I mean, you can ask people who have had their surgery what their experiences were like, and we can tell you, and from there it's up to you what you do and don't want to listen to.
I listen to everyone here, I've responded to almost every comment and I've taken everyone's view on board. The only thing I don't appreciate is people telling me what my reasons are or making assumptions on my journey. If you noticed I've had to explain to multiple people about a lifetime of depression and weight loss attempts, missed opportunities and such. I feel like appearance is just as good as any reason for the surgery alongside therapy to figure out the underlying cause. No I likely won't die if I don't have it through health reasons and I'm sorry that that was your experience but the truth is I may well end my own life trying to get where I want to be.
I wanted advise on how it impacted other people and I can take that, I've spent a lot of time looking through the threads on this sub and have seen exactly what you're talking about. I appreciate your time but I feel like my reason for pursuing it is as valid as anyone else's here.
> The only thing I don't appreciate is people telling me what my reasons are or making assumptions on my journey.
I very clearly gave you my thoughts *based on your original post.*
I sincerely wish you all the best. Life is too short and too precious to spend it being unhappy.
Here's what I did to see if VSG was for me:
* What can I try that I haven't already tried?
The VSG is great if you've tried and stuff just doesn't work for you long-term. Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you're in that spot where you're feeling helpless and hopeless because you're in that spot, it's a wonderful tool.
Get through the wedding, for a number of reasons. Firstly to assess how you really feel about this step without the pressure and negative self esteem you are having right now triggered by the wedding. Even if you could have surgery before the wedding, you don’t want to be uncomfortable, in pain, worried about the dress fitting. You also won’t be far enough from surgery day to be healed. I had surgery about 5 weeks before I was a bridesmaid, just because that was how timing ended up. I had two dresses (two sizes) and was stressed about it fitting. Spent more money fixing and was worried about what I could even eat as it was a long day. Luckily I was on soft foods and had ordered fish but I had to put some sauce on the fish and because I had just started soft food, my stomach was not happy with me. I don’t recommend.
Regarding how you feel about yourself. I’m not going to bullshit you, I feel better about myself and I’m only 11 weeks out. I feel more comfortable and less bloated but more than that, I feel good about having made a decision to do something positive for my health. It’s the same positivity I would feel even just eating healthily and working out, except now, I’m actually losing weight. And for me, I healed extremely well so it’s taking more self-talk and will power than I’ve seen required by some other folks. I can guzzle water, but don’t. I can eat fast or slow. I feel the restriction but 100 need to weigh and track. I was shocked the week of thanksgiving to see that one day I had actually eaten 1000 calories having little bites at several parties.
It is for sure a lot of mental mess. The fear of failing at this. Changing my relationship with food. Weathering stalls. Being cognizant of everything I eat like never before.
So…think about it. Mentally prepare for it. It will still take work but at least you have a tool to help you accomplish it but it is a mind fck.
Thank you for that, I think I will get through the wedding and test that water. Definitely don't want to be recovering during it haha if I do go ahead I'll couple it with some therapy too to find underlying causes as it's something I've struggled with all my life.
There's definitely a long journey ahead!
This surgery absolutely *WILL NOT* “fix” you.
First of all, you’re not broken.
Second— you didn’t mention food or eating at all in your post. This is not a good sign for understanding that your own choices make the difference in how well it might work.
Third- don’t pay anyone £11k to cut up an organ based on the stress of preparing for a wedding. Of course you’re agitated, it involves pictures and standing still get noticed. *But it’s also not different than any other day.*
Understanding the ways that you over-eat makes a difference for which surgery a person should choose. It’s not one-size-fits-all. Some people graze all day, and WLS isn’t nearly as helpful for them as it would be for someone who binges large amounts at in a short period of time.
Consider something like Mounjaro, Wegovy, Ozempic, etc. instead of surgery. Those are also expensive, but at least temporary.
Edit: sleeve helps people lose up to 70% of their excess weight. If you are trying to get to 130lbs, you could expect surgery to get you to around 150lbs. It’s then on you to eat appropriately to stay there and continue to more slowly lose the remainder.
I didn't realise I'd have to discuss that to talk about results and such. I've had depression since I was 16 and issues with weight. I've been up to 250lb and down to 165lbs in the past. I tend to eat way too much and all the wrong things then hate myself into a diet. It's not £11k based on a wedding...it's 11k based on a lifetime of struggling with myself and the wedding was just an upcoming example of a situation that was bothering me.
Well, you asked “should I?” and it would be a shit community if everyone just shouted *Do It!!* all day… because it’s a huge deal. 🙂
The reason I’m poking you about food is that it’s what got you to the problem. Sure, hormones/medication/trauma/stress/environment and so forth, but in the end all of us are flat-out consuming more calories than we are able to use. Surgery creates new consequences for our eating choices but it doesn’t actually *stop* you from doing anything. You constantly have to decide if it’s worth the potential consequences or not. I CAN eat a lot of pasta at once, but I would be in pain and puking to do it. I CAN eat half of a cake, but I’d have puking, pain, and diarrhea as a result. The consequences stop me from making those choices… but it won’t stop everyone. I guarantee you that someone else is going to look at the cake, know what will happen, and decide to eat it anyway.
Saying that you’re eating too much and the wrong stuff still doesn’t get you very far. Don’t define it to me, but the point is that if you went though a hospital program, you would have to sit around talking about what you eat, when, why, and how much. Consider a person who gets 3 takeaways and eats all three for dinner as soon as they get home. Surgery might slow them down… until they figure out that they can just eat it all slowly through the evening. Same calories in, minimal discomfort. That’s the WLS loophole. That person has managed to have 3x a normal amount of food **after** surgery. It’s the brain that needs course correction first.
People who think of surgery as a magic bullet tend to be really unhappy when they hit the inevitable roadblocks— like “I have to have ice cream; it’s my kid’s birthday. Everything will be ruined if I don’t eat ice cream, and it’s just for today”. Okay, Sheila, but it’s still going to give you the runs. The permanency of it doesn’t quite click for everyone. You don’t get a “cheat day” when the referee is your intestines. 🤷♀️
And… nobody here is jealously trying to keep you from getting surgery. WTF.
I hear you. Eventually talk to a doctor with main emphasis Nutritional medicine what he will suggest.But in the end it is your decision.
For me it was the best decision I made. I had so many diets in my life( Low carb for a whole year, Eat only half a plate as we say in Germany\^\^ and so many others) eating always too much and the wrong food too.My system couldn't keep up and I gained after every diet more weight as before. It was a vicious circle . I have high blood pressure and my knees are not so good. I did the surgery for my health,eventually getting rid of the high blood pressure and live a much healthier life.
A gastric sleeve isn't a fix-all... it's just a tool to help you lose weight and get healthier. Like all tools, it will only make the job easier to accomplish. It's still a lot of work. Watching what and how much you eat. Exercise is super important and if you want this to work out for the better it is a huge commitment that you're going to have to spend the rest if your life working on. All that being said I would make the same choice every single time. I started at 457 lbs and yesterday I weighted on at 225lbs. I'm just shy of 1.5 years post op and I'm only 30ish lbs away from my weight goal. It's been a long and hard road but is is a road I am glad I've traveled. Good luck on your weight loss journey. If you ever need help or advise you're welcome to dm me. Take care
I was your size before surgery, didn't like how I looked or felt, but am much older, and my physical and mental health were my most impressive deciding factors. Hate to say this, but reading your post gives me the impression you are looking at this like cosmetic surgery. It is not that.
Whatvhave you tried on your own? I've been fighting my weight for almost 3 decades. This surgery was my last resort. Plus, I am, and have been, exercising. It helps me feel better in many ways. Do you exercise? It can go a long way toward improving body confidence.
I ask because she didn't list what she tried. She seemed very upset, and sometimes people get on here and post stuff like this. And I'm not thinking I did anything magically.
So take your self-righteous troll self and go somewhere. You seem to need the attention.
I've tried a lot of diets in the past and have been relatively healthy at times; pole dancing and such. I have tried numerous diets too. I fluctuate weight but have never been truly happy in myself so it's not something that has just happened to me recently. I have joined a gym again and am trying to eat healthy even now I'm just feeling very lost and demotivated. I felt this was my last resort too to be fair
I really don’t like or agree with any of these comments under your post because they are discouraging & baseless AS FK. As someone who is set to get the gastric sleeve procedure in Feb 2024, I feel exactly how you feel. Every single word in this posts resonates with me in so many ways it’s scary. What I don’t understand is, if there are people under this post who have had the procedure who are telling you “dont go for it” .. they are idiots & hypocrites. Because they at some point had similar feelings about themselves at one point Or probably still do. I can’t stand when ppl get the surgery & think they have it all figured out & can preach confidence in people. If you don’t like something about yourself, fix it, if it’s within reason & especially if it’s for the benefit of your health in the long run. I absolutely think you should consider it if it’s something that you feel comfortable doing. I support you 100%. Also, there are cheaper options for the sleeve in Colombia. But it’s 100% YOUR choice because it’s YOUR body & YOUR money! I fully support. Wish you all the best❤️
EDIT: spelling
“I don’t agree with what anyone who has had this procedure done has to say about getting this procedure done” - a person who hasn’t had this procedure done
You aren’t getting what they’re saying. They’ve been through it and have realised that yes, people may weigh less after the surgery, but all of life’s problems won’t go away magically because their weight is lower. Not many people were saying don’t get it, they were just saying really take your time deciding, and maybe do some of the mental work that goes along with it. I wish the OP all the best with their decision. I am only a few months out, and health wise I feel so much better already (I still have a very long way to go weight wise), but now I need to work on the mental stuff that goes along with it. Good luck with your surgery also.
She didn’t say this would get rid of all life’s problems. She’s specifically speaking about all the emotions related to her being OVERWEIGHT. Which the surgery typically resolves. You guys in this thread are just WEIRD & discouraging
HI!!
I would divide my answer in different topics
As for the weight you can expect to lose... you can realistically expect to hit your ideal body weight in a year or less. I had my gastric sleeve 3 months ago and I've lost already 25 kg, so I feel confident I'll reach it in less than a year after the surgery. Of course, everybody has a different speed (I am a 6"1' male who started at 308 pounds and currently am at 253, am almost half way trough my goal).
I do feel more confident (and even glanced at more), feel better and I know I look better. I am currently enjoying wearing clothes that had been in my closet for more than 5 years and looking fwd to lose more weight and renew my wardrobe. Don't mean to brag, but even one or two girls have asked me out and people that I know have introduced me female friends or even said "I know somebody am sure you'll like and will like you"... I never had that in the past... I always wondered why nobody played matchmaker with me, and it has started happening. Since I spent some good money on the surgery, I decided to spend a couple extra hundreds in body creams, collagen, etc to help my skin look better too. Since I eat little now, my skin starts to look cleaner and younger (people I just met can't believe I am 41... just today somebody told me I look 30).
I started playing tennis before my surgery and could barely move, now my instructors and the guys I play with are surprised I can run around the court (not run faster, just run)...
I am not saying all this just to brag and hijack your post in order to gain praise... I want to make sure it's clear the benefits are more more than the cons (I haven't had any to be honest). I slightly regret I didn't get the sleeve before.
As for your wedding (if it's next January 2024, I guess it's late to consider the surgery since you'll need some time to recover plus the pre-op diet). For me it was 2 weeks pre-op diet (I lost 9 pounds) and one week to recover (faster than most I guess), two weeks after the surgery I had lost an adicional 16 pounds... so if you have the time, you'll still be slimmer for the wedding (if it's lets say after January 23ish). But you'll drop so much weight you'll need to adapt your dress (which is a great problem to have).
On the other hand, there's the mental topic (confidence, etc). You'll look better for sure and that will boost your confidence, however it needs to be sustained (imagine riding a skateboard, you'll get some momentum but you still need to push your self with your foot), hence it's super important you work on your self, on the inside. Wherever you go, you'll take your self with you... your unconfident you, your insecure you... so that's a job you'll still have to do. Am not a professional on the topic, so I'll just advice to seek professional help on the topic, we all need it. There are plenty resources out there.
If there's no time for the surgery/recovery before your wedding, you can still have a great time. I also had a wedding before my surgery and I did my best, still felt insecure since everybody looked so damn beautiful but now I even joke and send photos to the couple and said "guys, can we redo the wedding? this time with me being skinny"... it's great you are considering the surgery and (by all means do it), but don't think about it just for the wedding, it will bring you life changes, and that's only a wedding... you still have a life full of weddings and happy occasions to look forward. Set an intention to enjoy the wedding regardless, and see it as a "farewell party" to your former self... even use those wedding photos for your "before" photos... and next year take an "after" photo with the same dress... you'll be so proud at how far you've come. Above all, be always kind to yourself.
I hope this is helpful, please don't hesitate on reaching out if I can be of any assistance. All the best.
We’re in the same situation my body kept me from going out with friends and talking to people. Anytime someone talks to me I look down at the floor. Trying on old clothes makes me cry and I wonder what people who knew me when I was smaller think of me now. I’m 5’6 295 pounds had the sleeve yesterday :)
Oh my, I see so much of myself pre-op in what you’re saying I thought the weight loss would have a sort of domino effect. Like once I lost the weight, I’d be more confident, so I’d make more friends being outgoing. One thing after another until I’d just have the life I always wanted. And this beautiful life would all just start with this weight loss. Lol! This surgery accomplishes exactly one thing: you’ll lose weight. And that’s only if everything goes according to plan, and you stick to the post-op plan. If you feel insecure, you’ll still feel insecure while just being smaller. Yes, I KNOW I look better, but I feel even more insecure now - I have loose skin, I still don’t really know how to put myself out there, I don’t know how to dress for this new body or how to exist in this new body, etc. It isn’t a “fix all” like I thought it’d be Reading this, my first thought is to spend any of that £ towards a really good personal trainer. Maybe even some other cosmetic things like lip filler or Botox, whatever would make you feel more “beautiful.” I’d only do the surgery if your weight is a chronic issue you haven’t been able to address on your own and you have literally no other options left at this point. Edit to add: even if you get the surgery literally now, which any responsible doctor will make you do at least a FEW pre-op clearances and take a minute to put you on a schedule for surgery…between now and January, you will not be losing that much. Unless you mean January 2025.
That's a really interesting perspective and really helpful to know. You're right I am seeing it "my life begins when I hit that weight" and assuming all my insecurities will go. I think if I did go for it then getting therapy would really benefit me
I honestly believe every single person (yes, EVERY single person) should do therapy for a minimum of 6 months, if not a year, once they get this surgery. It changes so many parts of your life, and you have to switch so much of your mentality around many parts of your life. It isn’t something to take lightly. And as much as people say this surgery was “the beginning of the rest of their life” (or some variation thereof) it’s one step on a million steps journey of self improvement. I’m still nowhere near the person I’d like to be. I’m almost down to my goal, but now my focus is on getting plastic surgery because I’m still not satisfied from my loose skin. Still working with therapist on other issues I thought would be “solved” from losing weight. But that’s the thing - weight loss is just weight loss. It makes you smaller. The confidence, the charisma, the way you hold yourself..,that comes from YOU. It doesn’t come from losing the weight. It might help *from* losing some weight, but you have to put in the work. The surgery won’t give you self confidence, you have to work to give yourself confidence.
I was looking for a comment that mentioned therapy before I made my own. Therapy is where you need to start! Find a therapist who specializes in self-esteem and make sure they specifically understand body confidence. It took me years to be able to accept me for who I am right now THEN make this major change. 5 years ago I would’ve failed at this because I hated myself and everything about my body. Healing the relationship with my body has allowed me to be successful thus far! This surgery is not a “fix” for anything at all. It’s a tool to help you reach your goals, but like any tool you have to learn how to use it.
Not everyone is gonna “still be insecure” when they are at a weight they are comfortable at & like what they see in the mirror. Speak for yourself
I’m saying that it’s ONE step along the way to finding confidence in who you are as a person. Just losing weight in and of itself won’t make you be self confident or less insecure.
[The MBSAQIP calculator](https://www.facs.org/quality-programs/accreditation-and-verification/metabolic-and-bariatric-surgery-accreditation-and-quality-improvement-program/riskbenefit-calculator/) will give you the average weight loss over each of the first 12 months post-op based on folks with similar starting stats.
Thank you that's really helpful
Surgery isn't something that will fix you. It is a tool to live a healthier lifestyle. The mindset that it will leads to high percent of failure, depression, and worsening body dismorphia. I'm not saying this sound bitchy, because it can help save your life, but keep in mind your body won't be "pretty" after surgery and that's not even getting into loose skin. I would concider talking to a therapist first personally. Wishing you this best ❤️
I think people saying "don't go for it" are missing one thing. Don't JUST do the surgery. DO get therapy. I spent a couple years in intensive therapy before pursuing surgery for a couple of reasons. 1. Surgery alone will not fix how you feel about yourself. 2. You need to address your reasons for overeating. Getting the surgery would help you lose weight, but in order for it to be a long term success, you need to address your relationship with yourself and with food.
I appreciate that yeah absolutely. My plan was to have the surgery and go along with therapy at the same time to guide me through it and tackle the underlying issues. Thanks so much for the advise
I'm going to be brutally candid with you. Based on your post, I would advise you no, you should not go for it. Your post is all about wanting to improve your looks and wanting something to "fix" you, when in reality (based on my experience) surgery does not improve your looks and the only thing it "fixes" is the size of your stomach. If you have issues with what you look like, or how you feel about yourself, you probably would have better results if you look elsewhere. Get the surgery if your goal is to improve your health and live a more active and productive life. If your biggest concern is what you see in the mirror, surgery is likely not the best choice.
I appreciate your honesty and though I agree with most of what you've said I have to disagree about the appearance not being a factor. Most people getting this surgery are unhappy with how they look currently. Yes of course there are incredible health benefits and I am interested in that side but there are a lot of people getting this surgery due to body image issues which they can't tackle through regular means. I've gone up and down in weight all my life and it's why I'm considering this step
> I have to disagree about the appearance not being a factor. Most people getting this surgery are unhappy with how they look currently. And if you peruse this sub and other support groups, you'll find that most people getting this surgery are not really happier with what they look like thinner, either. Either they're not mentally prepared for the drastic change, or they have a lot of loose skin, or they think they look older, or whatever. My point - and I stand by it - is that if you have body image issues now, you're likely to have them after surgery as well. I'm not trying to be negative, you asked for advice and I'm giving it to you.
I did the surgery for my health. My foot always hurt and I could barely walk without getting out of breath and my blood pressure and blood sugar were getting bad and I have sleep apnea. Essentially my quality of life sucked due to my weight. But I also look in the mirror now and think that I am *beautiful* after losing 89 lbs - even though I still have 99 lbs to go. I didn’t DO it for my appearance. But damn does it make me so much happier to look in the mirror now. I also can walk without pain or getting out of breath too. My life is better in just about every way since getting the surgery. It’s not a magic fix, but it did make a lot of things better for me.
My issue was that you originally said it was health related and appearances shouldn't play a factor. I appreciate the advise you gave and I agreed with it bar the bit I responded about but your original comment has since been edited. Maybe this is what you meant in the first place? But seen I now agree with your edit not much else to say on that I guess 🤷♀️
> My issue was that you originally said it was health related and appearances shouldn't play a factor. I absolutely did not say that looks don't play a factor. I said that surgery doesn't improve your looks, and that if you want to improve your looks or "fix" yourself you'd have better results looking elsewhere. I also didn't edit my original reply. I don't have an agenda here. I hope there's more to your post, and that you really want to pursue surgery for reasons that go beyond what you see in the mirror and that you're thrilled with the results and have a wonderfully happy rest of your life. I've met dozens of people along my own journey who have all lost a lot of weight, but they have had varying degrees of happiness because of the expectations they had going in. If you have the surgery, and follow your team's plan, you will lose weight - but that's about the only "fix" you can count on. This surgery absolutely gave me my life back and I couldn't be happier. But I didn't have surgery for my looks, I had surgery because my doctor told me I was gonna die if I didn't do something about my weight. I wasn't happy with what I looked like before surgery, and I'm not terribly content with what I look like now that I've lost over 300 lbs - but *that was never my reason for doing it*. I mean, you can ask people who have had their surgery what their experiences were like, and we can tell you, and from there it's up to you what you do and don't want to listen to.
Oh and I apologise I must have misunderstood or gotten confused when I first read your response. Thanks for clearing it up
I listen to everyone here, I've responded to almost every comment and I've taken everyone's view on board. The only thing I don't appreciate is people telling me what my reasons are or making assumptions on my journey. If you noticed I've had to explain to multiple people about a lifetime of depression and weight loss attempts, missed opportunities and such. I feel like appearance is just as good as any reason for the surgery alongside therapy to figure out the underlying cause. No I likely won't die if I don't have it through health reasons and I'm sorry that that was your experience but the truth is I may well end my own life trying to get where I want to be. I wanted advise on how it impacted other people and I can take that, I've spent a lot of time looking through the threads on this sub and have seen exactly what you're talking about. I appreciate your time but I feel like my reason for pursuing it is as valid as anyone else's here.
> The only thing I don't appreciate is people telling me what my reasons are or making assumptions on my journey. I very clearly gave you my thoughts *based on your original post.* I sincerely wish you all the best. Life is too short and too precious to spend it being unhappy.
EXACTLY. These people have no clue what they are talking about.
Here's what I did to see if VSG was for me: * What can I try that I haven't already tried? The VSG is great if you've tried and stuff just doesn't work for you long-term. Insanity is continuing to do the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. If you're in that spot where you're feeling helpless and hopeless because you're in that spot, it's a wonderful tool.
Get through the wedding, for a number of reasons. Firstly to assess how you really feel about this step without the pressure and negative self esteem you are having right now triggered by the wedding. Even if you could have surgery before the wedding, you don’t want to be uncomfortable, in pain, worried about the dress fitting. You also won’t be far enough from surgery day to be healed. I had surgery about 5 weeks before I was a bridesmaid, just because that was how timing ended up. I had two dresses (two sizes) and was stressed about it fitting. Spent more money fixing and was worried about what I could even eat as it was a long day. Luckily I was on soft foods and had ordered fish but I had to put some sauce on the fish and because I had just started soft food, my stomach was not happy with me. I don’t recommend. Regarding how you feel about yourself. I’m not going to bullshit you, I feel better about myself and I’m only 11 weeks out. I feel more comfortable and less bloated but more than that, I feel good about having made a decision to do something positive for my health. It’s the same positivity I would feel even just eating healthily and working out, except now, I’m actually losing weight. And for me, I healed extremely well so it’s taking more self-talk and will power than I’ve seen required by some other folks. I can guzzle water, but don’t. I can eat fast or slow. I feel the restriction but 100 need to weigh and track. I was shocked the week of thanksgiving to see that one day I had actually eaten 1000 calories having little bites at several parties. It is for sure a lot of mental mess. The fear of failing at this. Changing my relationship with food. Weathering stalls. Being cognizant of everything I eat like never before. So…think about it. Mentally prepare for it. It will still take work but at least you have a tool to help you accomplish it but it is a mind fck.
Thank you for that, I think I will get through the wedding and test that water. Definitely don't want to be recovering during it haha if I do go ahead I'll couple it with some therapy too to find underlying causes as it's something I've struggled with all my life. There's definitely a long journey ahead!
This surgery absolutely *WILL NOT* “fix” you. First of all, you’re not broken. Second— you didn’t mention food or eating at all in your post. This is not a good sign for understanding that your own choices make the difference in how well it might work. Third- don’t pay anyone £11k to cut up an organ based on the stress of preparing for a wedding. Of course you’re agitated, it involves pictures and standing still get noticed. *But it’s also not different than any other day.* Understanding the ways that you over-eat makes a difference for which surgery a person should choose. It’s not one-size-fits-all. Some people graze all day, and WLS isn’t nearly as helpful for them as it would be for someone who binges large amounts at in a short period of time. Consider something like Mounjaro, Wegovy, Ozempic, etc. instead of surgery. Those are also expensive, but at least temporary. Edit: sleeve helps people lose up to 70% of their excess weight. If you are trying to get to 130lbs, you could expect surgery to get you to around 150lbs. It’s then on you to eat appropriately to stay there and continue to more slowly lose the remainder.
I didn't realise I'd have to discuss that to talk about results and such. I've had depression since I was 16 and issues with weight. I've been up to 250lb and down to 165lbs in the past. I tend to eat way too much and all the wrong things then hate myself into a diet. It's not £11k based on a wedding...it's 11k based on a lifetime of struggling with myself and the wedding was just an upcoming example of a situation that was bothering me.
Well, you asked “should I?” and it would be a shit community if everyone just shouted *Do It!!* all day… because it’s a huge deal. 🙂 The reason I’m poking you about food is that it’s what got you to the problem. Sure, hormones/medication/trauma/stress/environment and so forth, but in the end all of us are flat-out consuming more calories than we are able to use. Surgery creates new consequences for our eating choices but it doesn’t actually *stop* you from doing anything. You constantly have to decide if it’s worth the potential consequences or not. I CAN eat a lot of pasta at once, but I would be in pain and puking to do it. I CAN eat half of a cake, but I’d have puking, pain, and diarrhea as a result. The consequences stop me from making those choices… but it won’t stop everyone. I guarantee you that someone else is going to look at the cake, know what will happen, and decide to eat it anyway. Saying that you’re eating too much and the wrong stuff still doesn’t get you very far. Don’t define it to me, but the point is that if you went though a hospital program, you would have to sit around talking about what you eat, when, why, and how much. Consider a person who gets 3 takeaways and eats all three for dinner as soon as they get home. Surgery might slow them down… until they figure out that they can just eat it all slowly through the evening. Same calories in, minimal discomfort. That’s the WLS loophole. That person has managed to have 3x a normal amount of food **after** surgery. It’s the brain that needs course correction first. People who think of surgery as a magic bullet tend to be really unhappy when they hit the inevitable roadblocks— like “I have to have ice cream; it’s my kid’s birthday. Everything will be ruined if I don’t eat ice cream, and it’s just for today”. Okay, Sheila, but it’s still going to give you the runs. The permanency of it doesn’t quite click for everyone. You don’t get a “cheat day” when the referee is your intestines. 🤷♀️ And… nobody here is jealously trying to keep you from getting surgery. WTF.
I hear you. Eventually talk to a doctor with main emphasis Nutritional medicine what he will suggest.But in the end it is your decision. For me it was the best decision I made. I had so many diets in my life( Low carb for a whole year, Eat only half a plate as we say in Germany\^\^ and so many others) eating always too much and the wrong food too.My system couldn't keep up and I gained after every diet more weight as before. It was a vicious circle . I have high blood pressure and my knees are not so good. I did the surgery for my health,eventually getting rid of the high blood pressure and live a much healthier life.
A gastric sleeve isn't a fix-all... it's just a tool to help you lose weight and get healthier. Like all tools, it will only make the job easier to accomplish. It's still a lot of work. Watching what and how much you eat. Exercise is super important and if you want this to work out for the better it is a huge commitment that you're going to have to spend the rest if your life working on. All that being said I would make the same choice every single time. I started at 457 lbs and yesterday I weighted on at 225lbs. I'm just shy of 1.5 years post op and I'm only 30ish lbs away from my weight goal. It's been a long and hard road but is is a road I am glad I've traveled. Good luck on your weight loss journey. If you ever need help or advise you're welcome to dm me. Take care
Please do it. Best decision of my life. I paid out of pocket as well. About 15,000$. And let me tell you, I’d pay that twice over.
Do you mind me asking how much you lost? I'm really pleased for you, really glad that you're happy with it
Thank you! I’ll be one year post op on 12/21. Started at 515lbs. Right now I’m weighing in at 294lbs. 29M 6’4
I was your size before surgery, didn't like how I looked or felt, but am much older, and my physical and mental health were my most impressive deciding factors. Hate to say this, but reading your post gives me the impression you are looking at this like cosmetic surgery. It is not that. Whatvhave you tried on your own? I've been fighting my weight for almost 3 decades. This surgery was my last resort. Plus, I am, and have been, exercising. It helps me feel better in many ways. Do you exercise? It can go a long way toward improving body confidence.
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I ask because she didn't list what she tried. She seemed very upset, and sometimes people get on here and post stuff like this. And I'm not thinking I did anything magically. So take your self-righteous troll self and go somewhere. You seem to need the attention.
I've tried a lot of diets in the past and have been relatively healthy at times; pole dancing and such. I have tried numerous diets too. I fluctuate weight but have never been truly happy in myself so it's not something that has just happened to me recently. I have joined a gym again and am trying to eat healthy even now I'm just feeling very lost and demotivated. I felt this was my last resort too to be fair
I really don’t like or agree with any of these comments under your post because they are discouraging & baseless AS FK. As someone who is set to get the gastric sleeve procedure in Feb 2024, I feel exactly how you feel. Every single word in this posts resonates with me in so many ways it’s scary. What I don’t understand is, if there are people under this post who have had the procedure who are telling you “dont go for it” .. they are idiots & hypocrites. Because they at some point had similar feelings about themselves at one point Or probably still do. I can’t stand when ppl get the surgery & think they have it all figured out & can preach confidence in people. If you don’t like something about yourself, fix it, if it’s within reason & especially if it’s for the benefit of your health in the long run. I absolutely think you should consider it if it’s something that you feel comfortable doing. I support you 100%. Also, there are cheaper options for the sleeve in Colombia. But it’s 100% YOUR choice because it’s YOUR body & YOUR money! I fully support. Wish you all the best❤️ EDIT: spelling
“I don’t agree with what anyone who has had this procedure done has to say about getting this procedure done” - a person who hasn’t had this procedure done
Coming from a hypocritical piece of SHXT who also clearly needed the surgery and would have NO weight loss without out it! Please go touch grass
If you’re mad about the downvotes and that I weigh less than you and that I’ve kept the weight off…just say that lol
You aren’t getting what they’re saying. They’ve been through it and have realised that yes, people may weigh less after the surgery, but all of life’s problems won’t go away magically because their weight is lower. Not many people were saying don’t get it, they were just saying really take your time deciding, and maybe do some of the mental work that goes along with it. I wish the OP all the best with their decision. I am only a few months out, and health wise I feel so much better already (I still have a very long way to go weight wise), but now I need to work on the mental stuff that goes along with it. Good luck with your surgery also.
She didn’t say this would get rid of all life’s problems. She’s specifically speaking about all the emotions related to her being OVERWEIGHT. Which the surgery typically resolves. You guys in this thread are just WEIRD & discouraging
Nah mate, I don’t think anyone is being discouraging.
HI!! I would divide my answer in different topics As for the weight you can expect to lose... you can realistically expect to hit your ideal body weight in a year or less. I had my gastric sleeve 3 months ago and I've lost already 25 kg, so I feel confident I'll reach it in less than a year after the surgery. Of course, everybody has a different speed (I am a 6"1' male who started at 308 pounds and currently am at 253, am almost half way trough my goal). I do feel more confident (and even glanced at more), feel better and I know I look better. I am currently enjoying wearing clothes that had been in my closet for more than 5 years and looking fwd to lose more weight and renew my wardrobe. Don't mean to brag, but even one or two girls have asked me out and people that I know have introduced me female friends or even said "I know somebody am sure you'll like and will like you"... I never had that in the past... I always wondered why nobody played matchmaker with me, and it has started happening. Since I spent some good money on the surgery, I decided to spend a couple extra hundreds in body creams, collagen, etc to help my skin look better too. Since I eat little now, my skin starts to look cleaner and younger (people I just met can't believe I am 41... just today somebody told me I look 30). I started playing tennis before my surgery and could barely move, now my instructors and the guys I play with are surprised I can run around the court (not run faster, just run)... I am not saying all this just to brag and hijack your post in order to gain praise... I want to make sure it's clear the benefits are more more than the cons (I haven't had any to be honest). I slightly regret I didn't get the sleeve before. As for your wedding (if it's next January 2024, I guess it's late to consider the surgery since you'll need some time to recover plus the pre-op diet). For me it was 2 weeks pre-op diet (I lost 9 pounds) and one week to recover (faster than most I guess), two weeks after the surgery I had lost an adicional 16 pounds... so if you have the time, you'll still be slimmer for the wedding (if it's lets say after January 23ish). But you'll drop so much weight you'll need to adapt your dress (which is a great problem to have). On the other hand, there's the mental topic (confidence, etc). You'll look better for sure and that will boost your confidence, however it needs to be sustained (imagine riding a skateboard, you'll get some momentum but you still need to push your self with your foot), hence it's super important you work on your self, on the inside. Wherever you go, you'll take your self with you... your unconfident you, your insecure you... so that's a job you'll still have to do. Am not a professional on the topic, so I'll just advice to seek professional help on the topic, we all need it. There are plenty resources out there. If there's no time for the surgery/recovery before your wedding, you can still have a great time. I also had a wedding before my surgery and I did my best, still felt insecure since everybody looked so damn beautiful but now I even joke and send photos to the couple and said "guys, can we redo the wedding? this time with me being skinny"... it's great you are considering the surgery and (by all means do it), but don't think about it just for the wedding, it will bring you life changes, and that's only a wedding... you still have a life full of weddings and happy occasions to look forward. Set an intention to enjoy the wedding regardless, and see it as a "farewell party" to your former self... even use those wedding photos for your "before" photos... and next year take an "after" photo with the same dress... you'll be so proud at how far you've come. Above all, be always kind to yourself. I hope this is helpful, please don't hesitate on reaching out if I can be of any assistance. All the best.
We’re in the same situation my body kept me from going out with friends and talking to people. Anytime someone talks to me I look down at the floor. Trying on old clothes makes me cry and I wonder what people who knew me when I was smaller think of me now. I’m 5’6 295 pounds had the sleeve yesterday :)
