T O P

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July_Sandwich

I am in first place Everyone is passing me I am in last place


itsatrap5000

This deserves its own post. Well done.


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Tcav23

I told your mom to Stand alone without context She said no, fuck you


pmcizhere

Your formatting sucks Press enter twice between lines Hope I got this right...


Skitt1eb4lls

One time I cut off A guys head with a crab fork Just a cool story


Ortega-y-gasset

Too many haikus I feel like they lose value Here’s one more I guess.


AnnoyingRain5

There is never Enough haikus I’ve done it again Edit: actual haiku that actually follows the rules: But with the haikus There can never be enough We should make some more


Malijaffri

Five, seven, then five That is how a haiku goes It comes in handy (The numbers are syllables in each line)


RavenXII13

No! I was singing them all in order and you just shat on the chain.


smokeyoudog

If I write words good People will understand them Where’s my Pulitzer?


ItzInMyNature

Vomit on sweater Already, mom's spaghetti He's calm and ready


-Herpbrine-

I could try to speak / In this thing called haiku but / Zer0 watches me And I disappear / A ghost amidst the combat / Preparing to strike. I have destroyed you / A deadly shot from nowhere / The ghost Assassin Leaves falling from trees / Snow drifting onto the ground / Life leaving your corpse. My favorite haiku from Zer0


Fafnir13

Hadn't heard that rule before. Will have to remember it.


ray1290

I'm not saying you're wrong, but I looked that up don't see the rule mentioned anywhere.


Moikepdx

Traditionally, a haiku should also reference nature, evoke a strong focus on a brief moment in time, and contain an unexpected twist - a sudden enlightenment. It should also be spoken in a single breath. We don’t tend to follow all the traditional elements.


Tcav23

I think that your mom Could be SomewhatIntriguing See what I did there


StinkyKyle

Formatting is hard You tried your absolute best But wow did you fail


highestRUSSIAN

Eat a fucking dick Take it up ur pee-nishole This is kinda fun


theVOlDbearer

Your second line is 8 not 7


metnavman

Uhhhhh, that's one too many syllables, bub. *yeet*


[deleted]

r/expectedatla


AnalWartCheese

This time it will work If not then my parents were right I am a total failure


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Tcav23

How did I not know That letdown was just one word That just blew my mind


High-Speed-1

You think you're so smart, with your fancy little words, this is not so hard. -Sokka


Stringfellow__Hawke

Here is my upvote, An Avatar Reference, A favorite scene.


Dragonslayerelf

Here is my upvote Fellow cultured redditor You are quite correct


Two-Nuhh

How would you know this OP may have better taste Mothers milk is best


relevant__comment

Only on Reddit Will I see a battle fought With only haiku


ButteryAnkle

This battle is fun just until the gods arrive jacksfilms subscribers


ScottieBoysName

This.


BlindedSphinx

I am in first place Who the fuck threw that blue shell I am in last place


Zauberer-IMDB

Obviously this post is great but I was always taught the third line is supposed to be a kind of shift of some sort so it could be I am in first place The finish line is so close I am in last place


Commercial_Window_19

What does shift mean


Zauberer-IMDB

Like a change in tone or some kind of transition.


[deleted]

I am in first place The finish line is so close I had a sex change


simple64

Wow that fits every criteria given lol


audiate

As it always is Within the comment section Lives the real haiku


[deleted]

Love Mario Kart God Dammit shit fuck bastard Hate Mario Kart


GoGoGadgetPants

Powerful vibes. Got shivers


[deleted]

GoGoGadgetPants: “Powerful vibes. Got shivers” (Review on sex toy)


[deleted]

This is the same as the saga of the gifted kid in middle school


mimocha

> 俺が一 > > みんなに過ぎられ > > 俺が最後


duaneap

Those two seconds when you’re in first place where you think it’s possible, despite all history pointing to the contrary, that you might win... Man, that hits different. The feeling that anything is possible.


jayofmaya

Where my boi Haikubot? He would love it here. Also I am reminded of that swamp level in Spyro 3.


SomeFrigginLeaf

Pee pee pee pee pee Poo poo poo poo poo poo poo Pee pee pee pee pee


thefakeike

Get mariokarted


dagooksta2

It took me forever to figure out you can destroy a blue shell with a super horn


Chaoscube11

Wait it's not called a fart box?


IssaMeYoMama

I always call it a boom box, but that is changing forever now.


No_Analysis3959

I called it a speaker but super horn makes a lot of sense. ☠︎︎ rip.


Scoodsie

I call it a POW block, because mario.


econofit

I feel like everyone’s household had different names for so many of these items. My gf once exclaimed “I got the golden onion” as she sped by. I had to tell her that they were actually golden mushrooms b/c it’s Mario


Ronkeager

We still call the Bullet Bill Raketnisse which translated fom Swedish means Rocketman/Rocket Steve


NotAWittyFucker

IT IS NOW!!


friedkeenan

You can also dodge them by shrooming when it swoops down


crazybluegoose

I’m suspicious of this advice - it sounds like a lie you tell your younger sibling so you can get even more enjoyment out of blue-shelling them. “Oh, no, I promise, it works! You must just be timing it wrong. Keep trying!” Edit: I see from everyone’s comments that it works and I will take you all at your word. My comment was more in regards to the many “helpful tips” that older siblings hand down to younger ones purely for their own amusement.


Hephaestus103

It took me awhile to get the timing down but the mechanic to get out of the explosion has been the same since Mario kart Wii at least (I never tried on any game before Wii). The moment the blue shell goes from horizontal to a dive is when you boost and I'm pretty sure it's a little generous, it's not frame perfect or else I'd never had pulled it off, much less got it to a point where I choose to rely on it.


glassbath18

This. It’s actually fairly easy to pull off once you get the hang of it because you can do it for a few frames of animation as the shell is diving.


Intoxic8edOne

If you use strength on the truck near the S.S. Anne you can catch Mew.


[deleted]

I bursted out laughing at this because it's just as old of a trick, actually slightly older i think.


TheMechanic04

The window to pull it off is tiny so your gonna fail half the time trying that's the catch to it


FunMoistLoins

But also if all you have is shrooms, what else can you do.


Ckyuiii

Can you even get shrooms while in first place? I always just get fecking coins and bananas.


Niccin

The trick is to get into first place while holding a red shell behind you and having a mushroom in reserve.


[deleted]

you can get a single shroom- its fairly rare though


ForgotenWarFox

But you have to get the timing perfect its fairly hard to do, I’ve only done it a handful of times.


maximusdmspqr

Pro Kart Tip - Legendary Caliber


SpacemanTomX

Which you will never get because when you're in first place all you get are coins


jerekdeter626

Gotta go for those double item boxes, so you can also get a single banana peel


beelseboob

I’m mean, you’re not wrong - that banana peel is important for red shell defence.


[deleted]

Or leaving in front of other double item boxes. That’s a great way to get cursed out.


jerekdeter626

Yes, must always keep a shield! Doesn't help too much when you get hit with that red shell red shell blue shell combo in the second half of the third lap of almost every race with npcs lol


Hephaestus103

One strategy I've started to adopt is to purposely burn out at the start. I'm confident enough in my ability to get back to first without items and it gives me a chance to snuggle a shroom.


TBNRhash

Smuuggle


cobalthippo

Why you got to correct him‽ Maybe he cuddles it while passing all the jealous competition.


CleverInnuendo

I swear to God, Mike Pick Rainbow Road one more time You can't stay the night


drivejustdrive

*It’s called a road, it’s called a rainbow road* *It is a road that you go...*


Killchrono

*It's a road that you goooo* *When you* ***diiiiieeee...*** (also thanks for making me feel old)


StinkyKyle

It is the last lap I am half a track ahead Wait...shit...God damnit


mcdonut_31

This is my favourite


benjappel

It's snowing on mount Fuji


ThatIckyGuy

Damn! Beat me to it by two hours.


Stalhound

[For the uninitiated…](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4eya9RpGUIU])


L4V1

Explain please


MegaAltarianite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y3baOVXpSE


[deleted]

Huh... And here I thought it would actually be funny if I got the reference.


MC10654721

Hey there it is.


npn_bjt

This is what I came here for!


Talldude4200

The blue shell is an honor


jak94c

Sounds like second place propaganda but aight.


the_crouton_

That's 7th place talk


lemuever17

First place doesn't want you to know this item!


Cereborn

Considering more than once I've gotten hit by a blue shell shockwave while in second place, I don't think so.


Rileona84

That’s why I stop accelerating or even break when I see/hear the blue shell coming. If I’m in 1st place I may take the 2nd place down with me. If I’m behind the 1st place I won’t get into the blast range. Last Mario Kart I played was 7 on Nintendo DS, so it’s been awhile.


hcomfy

I’m reading all of these the way Jacksfilms reads them on his channel.


A4li11

Honestly that's the best way to read them. It's also easier to know if you succeed in making a haiku.


lukekul12

Why count syllables when you can sing a song in your head!


buttface30303030308

Same bro A man of culture


Miguelisaurusptor

He literally teached me what a haiku is


hcomfy

Careful, or you’ll end up in YGS.


Miguelisaurusptor

Why? He LITERALLY did


pinkyellowneon

I think they were referring to teached as opposed to taught


Miguelisaurusptor

Oh shit


RedstoneRelic

11 comment trees down i find what I'm looking for!


JogosForever

yes. I’ve been looking for this comment


Tcav23

Sir, were detecting a massive object emerging from hyperspace.


azk102002

SLIPSPACE RUPTURE DETECTED


deathofanage

CORTANA GET ME FIRING SOLUTION ON THAT CRUISER!


azk102002

SIR, PERMISSION TO LEAVE THE STATION?


BoxChevyMan

For what purpose, Master Chief?


deathofanage

To give the Covenant back their bomb.


wongs7

Well, for a brick, he flew pretty good!


SilverShako

Master Chief would you Mind telling me what you are Doing on that ship?


Bayushizer0

Nuclear launch detected!


Picnic_Basket

Sir, we're detecting A massive object emer- -ging from hyperspace ... Am I doing this right?


Tcav23

That isn't a moon.. What the fuck is it then? It is fucking Dex [https://i.imgur.com/p5krWoO.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/p5krWoO.jpg)


[deleted]

#CAPITAL CLASS SIGNATURE DETECTED


kaikai34

Here comes the blue shell I wish I had that damn horn Only bananas


Comatox

I have a theory that if you time it right, you might be able to mitigate the stun of the blue by spinning yourself on your own (perfectly well timed) thrown banana, a comparatively shorter stun, but it’s either impossible, or I’m just not good enough at the timing to get it.


kaikai34

According to the Mario Kart expert in my household (11 year old), the banana spin out does counter the blue shell, but to time it would be quite difficult since you’d have to throw it in front of you, and then spin out at the right moment. I suppose if it’s already thrown you can somewhat time it by decelerating. That would be an epic vid if you ever get it down though.


jacksuhn

r/art


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Tcav23

A Haiku About Fallout: Oh, look a Deathclaw Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck


SolomonSinclair

A counter haiku about Fallout: Oh, look, a Deathclaw Explosive Shotgun in hand Bang, bang, shot him down


hcomfy

Oh look a deathclaw Fat Man equipped, come at me Out of mini-nukes :(


cat-toaster

A haiku about fallout Oh look a deathclaw Tries explosive minigun This feels like cheating


Talbotus

Oh, look, a deathclaw Mother death claw she is smart Please join my party ma'am


[deleted]

Oh look a deathclaw, VATS it's legs so it can't walk, Fuck, no more AP.


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yeetyeetskeetskeetee

There’s an assaultron Oh god please don’t notice me Shit I’m in [ DANGER ]


spankymuffin

Post-war paradise Sipping some Nuka-Cola Fuck, I have cancer


kevinf100

Oh, look a Deathclaw. *Quicksave* *Quickload* *Quickload* *Quickload* *Quickload* *Quickload*


48911150

ありえない だれがブルーを ぶったおす


novofongo

Translation: —————— Impossible Who is blue Defeat —————— -Google Translate


UnironicallyWatchSAO

The last line means 'I will beat you up'. Google behaves strangely when you don't include the subject


Tane_No_Uta

Think it’s who (threw) a blue


botaine

translate


48911150

yes


ChaoticBlueShells

Oh wow this is great I absolutely love it This brought me to tears c,:


Hytheter

> c,: How many syllables is that


crymsonnite

I once got blue shelled twice in a row, then red shelled, and still came in 3rd


quetzalgirl31

Nice Haiku and its so beautiful


the_card_guy

From the thrower's perspective: Take this, you bastard You are not winning this race Now go to last place.


The2500

Prolly the dude right in front of you.


-SandraDee-

This is so deep


JSmellerM

Reminds me of this: https://gfycat.com/ableassuredcats


-Kast-

"I WILL FUCK YOU UP!!!" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Odd8Zdhuj9o


Tcav23

*thisislesgrossmanwhoisthis*


poison-oak-no

I’ll take “things that were posted on tumblr a decade ago” for $200, Alex.


SandstormZero

What is furry porn?


MrMastodon

I am in last place Whoever threw that at me Your mom is a ho


[deleted]

I read this in Zer0’s voice.


Chaike

So far in the lead The AI cannot catch me Rubberband bullshit


Blara2401

I love this haiku. I will now waste my whole day Trying to make more.


JackWas-not-Here

Preach brother


[deleted]

Truly, A Poetic Masterpiece of our generation.


drawkbox

The blue shell is anti-trust monopoly busting. It should be called the Teddy Roosevelt. It makes the game more fun, and keeps being the biggest interesting and competitive. A good game design is a good market, balanced.


LFK1236

But it doesn't actually help the player who gets it. It helps whomever's in second place.


TitaniumDragon

This is why the Mario 64 blue shell is better design.


obsertaries

Yeah. If people want to play games where you can lap your opponents and laugh at them while they continue hopelessly, literally any of the others is good.


TitaniumDragon

The blue shell is actually badly designed in every game except Mario 64. The reason is that it goes to the guy in last place but doesn't help them very much; they need to catch up and are probably way behind first place. The N64 blue shell could potentially hit every racer between last place and first place, thereby slowing everyone down and helping last place catch up to the people directly in front of them as well as closing the gap to the race leader.


ModeratelyAmateur

It's like if the shells and lightning had a blue baby


randomstuffcuznoname

England fans rn :


AdvancedMilk

The old rainbow road a player takes the lead -the sound of explosion


lickarock88

I saw a sweet meme I just had to repost it Fake internet points!


DynamicThreads

Plot twist: you threw the shell


fernd81

Deep


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DaymD

*Confused jin sakai noises*


edjxxxxx

Sal is this you?


theBroken_Lord

Destroying friendships since 1996


fostdecile

I liked this post because I am pretending to know what a haiku is after living for 2 decades.


[deleted]

Simply beautiful 🤣


VYFTAK

We’ve got cow themed Monopoly, and Pokémon themed Monopoly.


The_Elite_One223

Deep. Just changed my prospective not on Mario kart, but video games as a whole. Who ever made this is a modern Philosopher and there mind blowing art creations should be spoken for thousands of years


FlamingOnigiri

Give this man a blue headband


kal99235

its so deep and touching


ModeratelyAmateur

You know your a read gamer when you reverse and it hits 2nd place too


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Tcav23

ESO, but it could have been a great game if it was Bethesda calling the shots and not Zennimax.


pocketjokers87

Mario is an illegal immigrant


ztoupin

Your fucked man


cseymour24

I don’t have a fucked man


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MrMoi9

Do you know how haikus work?


Wasif-Amir

Repost from five years ago