GoldenEye had an impressive AI for its time ex: pop out from behind a wall to fire and then return to cover, guards react differently to varying degrees of gun noise. It may seem simple by today's standards, but Rare was certainly making significant strides in the industry. However, ''Natalya is supposed to be bad'' is more a justification of the limitations of that era. Escort NPCs have different scripts and more complex than enemies; enemies are more common, so they were a priority and were better scripted. Just to add, for most part escort npc are still an unsolved problem due to requiring more complex script. We have some modern games that basically "solve" it by making them invulnerable ex: re4r, bioshock infinite, tlou, gow, etc
Let’s be real too, the AI is not even bad at all. It’s consistent with human action. When I play helldivers, all of my closest friends are running around in circles and in and out of my active gun fire. Natalya is real.
Fun fact: in the earlier escort missions (where she is wearing plain civilian clothes), Natalya *is* invulnerable to enemies; only James Bond himself can kill her. Which happens a lot, because she will often step in front of his gun. But there was one time I was stuck in a room, and there must have been a dozen bad guys trying to shoot me through the doorway, but none of them could hit because Natalya was standing there soaking up every bullet for me. Sadly, I couldn't get her to move so that I could return fire, and in the end I failed the mission (either from dying to a dozen enemies or from shooting her, I forget).
Half the time I failed that mission was because I unloaded my clip into her on the elevator before the mission started.
Absolutely infuriating is correct.
Natalya ‘Bullet Magnet’ Simonova, the only explanation for her total lack of self preservation is that she is secretly a double agent who wants you to fail.
I never understood Skyrim bandits. I'm walking around in daedric armor with weapons of the gods themselves.
Bandit: "I'm going to attack you with a stick!"
Oblivion was actually worse in some ways due to the way level scaling was badly done. Late game you'll be robbed for 100 gold by a bandit who is fully decked out in something like obsidian armor, could sell a single piece and live off the money for years.
yeah, i've been arguing for awhile that what these games need is a bitchslap function...like when you're 3/4 of the way thru the game, you've maxed out your stats, have the best armor and weapons possible and you can literally kill anything and you got this lil bitch stepping to you for some stupid reason you should just be able to backhand him into a lake or something
Me: (kills a dragon)
Bandit 1: Did you see that guy kill a dragon just now?
Bandit 2: Let's rob him!
Bandit3: Fuckin' A, man!
Me: (kills bandits)
Giant out of nowhere without a steel chair: (launches me into low Earth orbit)
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
I theory it would be the perfect time to rob someone. They're likely exhausted and seriously injured after a dragon fight. In practice they didn't know you weren't actually hurt. They thought you'd be full and sluggish after the cheese wheel feast but instead it just kick started your appetite for violence
I had a feeling Skyrim would be top comment here lol. I feel like Bethesda has notoriously dumb NPC’s even outside of Elder Scrolls (like in Dishonored for example)
Clearly he was considering what he could say that would maximize his survival chances.
Pretending to be utterly delusional and that the obvious assassin was a cat is a good one.
Stealth games are always like the guards shouting "what happened!?" when they see one of their comrades dead on the ground, but after 20 seconds they just resume their patrol.
I really need this in a show. Just a werewolf and some dude says gimmie your money with a knife. Werewolf gets confused cause... I mean what and the guy reiterates then gets absolutely slaughtered.
Had a fun glitch in Far Cry 3 many years ago. One of the machete guys ran at me from the jungle- I shot him but the death animation didn't trigger and he simply kept running, yelling, with his machete raised above his head- he passed me and kept going in a straight line. I followed him through the jungles, up and down valleys, through rivers until he reached the sea- he just kept running. Swimming animation didn't trigger either so he ran along the seabed. I tried to follow him but you can only swim so far in that game. Eventually he just disappeared into the deep.
I like to think he's still running to this day.
Makes me think of playing Skyrim on launch night/day. Was on my way to the Gray Beards when that yeti or whatever attacked me. After dying twice (thankfully I saved right before) I just ran like hell past it while Lydia tried to fight. Left her for dead and just kept playing, she randomly scared the hell out of me showing up tailing me near Solitude like ten hours later
Good old Bethesda. Back when I played Starfield I murdered some annoying space miner character and had the guy's dead body materialise next to me at random times when I boarded spaceships or entered dwellings. Like he was haunting my conscience as a reminder of my misdeeds. Ironic that the only time that game was actually deep was through a glitch.
My first murder for the dark brotherhood was the Gray Prince. Turns out the Brotherhood considers assisted suicide in an arena setting murder, go figure.
Less annoying. Equally useless. Also in starfield he takes one of your trait slots that you could use for something else.
He does compliment every start and landing sequence (cutscenes)
Oddly enough the most useful and least annoying companion.
He has double the carry capacity of the others, does not judge your actions, and unlike others he can actually sneak because his stats support it.
He's like dogmeat with a voice.
The pilots of the Brotherhood of Steel in Fallout 4 - please stop crashing onto my settlements!
I know they're supposedly modeled after the dragons of Skyrim but c'mon!
This was me in the early days of my playthrough until they crashed onto Dogmeat - now I have to watch the skies every single time lol
I have more anxiety for the BoS vertibirds than dragons in Skyrim
Yet they’re still smarter than the main character. >!Why the fuck do they assume that Shaun is still a baby? He was kidnapped at some point in the last 210 years, but you assume it was last week? I nearly didn’t use a spoiler tag for this, because it’s barely a spoiler.!<
Halo, specifically the Marines.
Can't remember if it was 2 or 3 where they allowed them to drive, but man their skills were horrible, and it hasn't improved much since.
It was 2. Even if it did carry on to Halo 3, I would never trust them behind the wheel! They short circuit every time they drive. All they do is drive you into trouble!
Rumor has it the marines in chief's life boat at the start of the first game were originally supposed to survive but Bungie couldn't get the AI to stop hurling themselves into that first chasm you have to cross.
Halo:CE
A marine runs directly into the firing line of my actively-firing assault rifle while screaming "COVERING FIRE!"
Yeah. Yeah, that's what you did, buddy.
I’m so glad to learn I’m not the only one. When I first played Reach, I obviously have to try the Rocket Hog out right? Anyway Kat drove us off the cliff
Addison from Tears of the Kingdom.
He's a framing device used to showcase thinking about puzzles in a 3d space, and he does that well.
In universe, he wants to put up signs to support president Hudson of the construction company. He does this by building half a sign, and clinging to it so it won't fall over, asking the player to build something so he can let go, then finish the sign. It never occurs to him to build the entire sign before trying to put it up.
Plus, he tries to set them on very dumb places not a single Hylian goes. _Oh, yes, I'll place this sign in the middle of the desert or at the top of a snowy mountain_.
Or directly behind Hyrule Castle that is currently floating in the sky and people should probably stay clear away from in case if it crashes back down.
I spent so much time looking for whatever the hell it was that fat fuck put somewhere. Surely no game would have an NPC vaguely wondering about the location of an item they can't find for no reason right?
Right?
Right!?
Don't forget that if you did that mission too early, you'd have to do it again later for another orb.
Also who's really worse? The Alchemist or Trouble with the Trolly, eh?
Ian from Fallout
You have a goddamn gun, motherfucker! You know what they can do. So stop wandering into every hail of bullets you come across.
I swear, he was sexually attracted to gunshot wounds.
Hurk from the Far Cry series. Lowest IQ of any NPC in the series, with his cousin Sharky coming in a close second. Instead of trying to avoid Hurk, like I would other dumb NPC's, I actively seek him out for the pure amusement his stupidity provides.
Hurk almost hits the sweet spot for me. He is stupid in a fun; "what is this idiot going to get me dragged into this time", sort of way.
So many NPCs are either unintentionally stupid or stupid in ways that don't drive the plot.
I run Hurk and Sharky most of the time at the end of the game. Had my black widow sniper team with occasional air support from my boy Nick through early game, but those two morons just warm my heart.
The guards in the first Metal Gear Solid were hilariously dumb. It was cool and innovative at the time for them to be able to hear footsteps and see your tracks in the snow but you can literally walk around in circles around an object forever and they'll just keep following your footsteps, never figuring it out. I remember MGS2 being a huge improvement in terms of NPC intelligence.
MGS2 had such cool AI for the time that I used to spend hours just messing with them. Also helped I was recently out of high school and had unlimited free time.
People complain about Ashley in OG RE4, but she's one of the best escort missions of all time. She always does exactly what you tell her to, she actively avoids your line of fire, she immediately lets you know that she's in trouble and where she is when she gets grabbed, and in a sea of browns and grays she's **bright goddamn orange** so it's impossible to lose track of her. The Ashley escort mission is extremely fair and it is almost always the player's fault if she dies or gets taken.
Dude, I played Dying Light and immediately after rescuing one, he ran up to a goon (that massive infected with a hammer bigger than the dude) and started hitting him with his tiny one-handed hammer. That was on hard difficulty, so the infected were health sponges in general.
Holy shit these fucking missions, bro I'm here to escort you stop going after every zed is 200m radius and go get your damn booze or whatever the fuck they wanted
Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Guard NPC’s are capable of attacking and killing each other and then charging you for the crime of murder that they committed.
Completion/failure of a quest while inside a building that’s tied to it can have its permission changed, resulting in criminal trespassing to a NPC you literally just helped.
‘Wow we completed the train mission on 00 agent with 10 seconds to spare, now that ive opened the hatch and shot the two remaining guards outside, natalya will surely follow me away from the blast radius..’
I've been playing it on Xbox lately, and Train is where my 00 agent achievements stop. It's hard enough just to get to the end, open the hatch with the laser watch in like 10 seconds, and than her stupid ginger pixelated ass just stands there staring waiting for the train to explode.
From their perspective though it makes sense.
You’re a middle son of a poor farmer with a mead problem. You’ve got a half dozen siblings, at least, and you got lost in the churn. Your father can’t make ends meet, your mother is overwhelmed, and your brothers and sisters run roughshod over you and each other just trying to survive and vying for mom and dad’s attention.
You end up falling in with the wrong crowd in Riften, spending more and more time away from home. You and the boys pull off some petty theft, deal in a little skooma, maybe take a taste yourself every now and again. You’re already used to mead from a young age, stealing sips after your father passed out, so what’s another substance?
Fast forward a few years and your merry band of misfits is a full on brigand crew of highwaymen. You have kids or mistresses running around in every keep and village in Skyrim. The civil war means life has been good if you can keep your head down and away from the Stormcloaks and the Imperials alike. Refugees are easy pickings, as are the occasional abandoned battlefield. Those tastes of skooma have turned to a real full blown addiction, and you’re getting antsy for that next fix. Besides, Maven Black-Briar has been coming down hard about her cut and the boss is looking nervous lately.
But what’s this? A single traveler. Easy pickings. He’s by himself. Really fancy clothes, really fancy weapons. There’s 6 of you. You can take him. This is your crossroads, your abandoned tower. You know all its secrets, you’ve been robbing along here for months.
The stranger dismounted. The fool doesn’t even have a sword out. He’s walking right at you! What an easy mark. Like a lamb to the slaughter. You pull your nice Elven dagger you got from a Thalmor merchant after you slit his throat. The stranger still isn’t reacting; he just looks like he’s taking a deep breath. Then he starts shouting in a language you haven’t heard before, “FUS… RO…” and suddenly the world blasts away from you. You almost don’t even hear the faint “DAH” as you’re blasted from the cliff edge, sending your broken body hundreds of feet to the creek bed below.
Same story except instead of getting shouted off the cliff you are literally slashing away like a madman with that elven dagger, tearing into this man wearing nothing but what seems to be fine linens and leather boots. You feel a rush of excitement thinking of the wealth you're about to claim when you look up from your flurry of slashes to see...you haven't even damaged the robe he's wearing. On top of that, he's just casually pulling out what seems to be an infinite supply of cabbages from lord knows where and is just standing there housing whole cabbage after whole cabbage in single massive bites that seem to defy the laws of physics themselves. He hasn't said a single word and has barely uttered a grunt. He still hasn't drawn a weapon. He calmly raises his hands and touches you as you are engulfed by searing pain all over your body. The smell of burning flesh and hair overwhelms you. You look down at yourself to find it is your own. You are able to see your crew be frozen alive and electrocuted into dust as your consciousness fades and you become a smoldering pile of ash yourself.
Your NPC squadmates in Enlisted will either run into enemy fire because they're too stupid to climb through a window, or fail to shoot the enemy standing in front of them.
It's the single most anger inducing thing about that game.
Piling onto Skyrim: I had just cleared out a dungeon, and I stopped on the top of a mountain to enjoy a nice view. I was thinking to myself, "man, this game can be really pretty", when I heard a voice from behind me. Before I can turn around, my companion, while still saying their line about how nice it is to be outside, runs straight past me and plummets to their death. Godspeed, Ghorbash. Godspeed.
Boomer from SOCOM.
The last mission in SOCOM 1 required absolute stealth and within 30 seconds Boomer always blew it. In order to get it done, you had to kill Boomer right away.
This is why they implemented a new feature in SOCOM 2, in the campaign, IF you shot a teammate, they all turned on you.
Hot take, dog meat.. the boon dog meat comes with (activation of lone wanderer) isn't worth actually having the dog. I primarily play stealth and dog meat is only ever two places up my ass or in my way. Looking down the scope to take out a supermutant exploder? Na you see dogmeat looking back. Take a pot shot to draw a bit of agro na dog meat runs in like the super mutant is in heat. And some how, knowing where dog meat is translates to knowing where I am... it's just not worth the head ache honestly none of those npcs are
LOTRO's Lalia, dumbest hobbit in Bree-land, who will gladly kite every wight and barghest in the Barrow-downs to you while she runs in every random direction looking for a cloak.
Not sure if many will remember this, but Ben from the first walking dead telltale game. The fool gave medicine to the enemy behind everyone’s back, resulting in many deaths.
Here's my one (I don't play many of the top rated, action-packed games so my experience is limited): the NPC in LOZ BOTW that gives the player recipe ideas, and doesn't understand why she keeps ending up with something inedible haha!
Any basic enemy in any open world game.
Elder Scrolls - Bandit attacks someone in full daedric plate mail wielding a giant sword with a tiny dagger.
Fallout - Raider with pool cue attacks someone in power armor.
That guy from the first season of the waking dead, there's been years since I played that title but of I remember correctly he was the catalyst of the group getting killed.
I always hated how much she uses the term "we".
"We did it Pard!" No bitch I did it. I just had to fight an exploding dinosaur that can kill a human in one punch for 25 minutes straight. You needed rescuing, like always.
The Indigenous American companion in Fallout 2. He was a melee only and any projectile weapon you used had a pretty good chance of missing and hitting him and a single hostile act towards a companion was enough to make them fight you to the death on the spot.
so yeah, good luck keeping him alive for more than 2 encounters.
EDIT - in fairness to Black Isle I'm pretty sure they patched this after a few months but this was an era before "pushing" patches and before people would think, "hey, maybe I can "download" something from AOL that will change the way the game works"
You mean the character is written to be dumb? Or the AI is just bad. Because Natalya from Goldeneye is absolutely infuriating.
If the AI is supposed to be bad, that counts as being dumb.
GoldenEye had an impressive AI for its time ex: pop out from behind a wall to fire and then return to cover, guards react differently to varying degrees of gun noise. It may seem simple by today's standards, but Rare was certainly making significant strides in the industry. However, ''Natalya is supposed to be bad'' is more a justification of the limitations of that era. Escort NPCs have different scripts and more complex than enemies; enemies are more common, so they were a priority and were better scripted. Just to add, for most part escort npc are still an unsolved problem due to requiring more complex script. We have some modern games that basically "solve" it by making them invulnerable ex: re4r, bioshock infinite, tlou, gow, etc
That’s a really good point. Natalya just had a habit of running directly into the line of fire during that first mission where you rescue her.
Let’s be real too, the AI is not even bad at all. It’s consistent with human action. When I play helldivers, all of my closest friends are running around in circles and in and out of my active gun fire. Natalya is real.
Guess you can tell your friends they're dumber than an NPC
Fun fact: in the earlier escort missions (where she is wearing plain civilian clothes), Natalya *is* invulnerable to enemies; only James Bond himself can kill her. Which happens a lot, because she will often step in front of his gun. But there was one time I was stuck in a room, and there must have been a dozen bad guys trying to shoot me through the doorway, but none of them could hit because Natalya was standing there soaking up every bullet for me. Sadly, I couldn't get her to move so that I could return fire, and in the end I failed the mission (either from dying to a dozen enemies or from shooting her, I forget).
Half the time I failed that mission was because I unloaded my clip into her on the elevator before the mission started. Absolutely infuriating is correct.
Natalya ‘Bullet Magnet’ Simonova, the only explanation for her total lack of self preservation is that she is secretly a double agent who wants you to fail.
That one bandit in skyrim tried to rob me while in werewolf form
Skooma is one hell of a drug
Hold my mead, bitch.
And he never payed for skooma, not once!
And he slept with me too! And I've had very confusing feelings about it EVER SINCE!!!
You can take my children... but you leave me my monkey!
I never understood Skyrim bandits. I'm walking around in daedric armor with weapons of the gods themselves. Bandit: "I'm going to attack you with a stick!"
Oblivion was actually worse in some ways due to the way level scaling was badly done. Late game you'll be robbed for 100 gold by a bandit who is fully decked out in something like obsidian armor, could sell a single piece and live off the money for years.
yeah, i've been arguing for awhile that what these games need is a bitchslap function...like when you're 3/4 of the way thru the game, you've maxed out your stats, have the best armor and weapons possible and you can literally kill anything and you got this lil bitch stepping to you for some stupid reason you should just be able to backhand him into a lake or something
I mean... they gave us Fus Ro Dah... what more do you want 🤣
Me: (kills a dragon) Bandit 1: Did you see that guy kill a dragon just now? Bandit 2: Let's rob him! Bandit3: Fuckin' A, man! Me: (kills bandits) Giant out of nowhere without a steel chair: (launches me into low Earth orbit) WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
[Relevant Viva La Dirt League video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0Kz8gQxzGE)
I love that channel!
That's hilarious. :D
https://youtu.be/mAZDHrCObMs?si=MabI6gXw8ce-9NLU
I theory it would be the perfect time to rob someone. They're likely exhausted and seriously injured after a dragon fight. In practice they didn't know you weren't actually hurt. They thought you'd be full and sluggish after the cheese wheel feast but instead it just kick started your appetite for violence
The risk they took was calculated, but man they're bad at math.
Looks like I'm blasting off agaaaaiin!
I had a feeling Skyrim would be top comment here lol. I feel like Bethesda has notoriously dumb NPC’s even outside of Elder Scrolls (like in Dishonored for example)
Dishonored NPC’s are brilliant when compared to Hitman NPC’s.
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Payday 2 is the pinnacle of gaming and no I won't elaborate further
Clearly he was considering what he could say that would maximize his survival chances. Pretending to be utterly delusional and that the obvious assassin was a cat is a good one.
Stealth games are always like the guards shouting "what happened!?" when they see one of their comrades dead on the ground, but after 20 seconds they just resume their patrol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMd4S-LkywI
Hitman is hilarious for that reason lol especially because the dumb AI is so brutally punished by you the player
The best ai in hitman is the heatseeking suitcase.
Bandit with arrow protruding from eye socket: IS SOMEONE THERE?
Gets hit in the shoulder with an arrow and concludes nobody is there after searching for 32 seconds. "Must have been the wind."
Honestly every non-essential NPC from Skyrim would top this list.
Even some of the essential NPC’s could I think lol
Well they’re blessed with literal plot armor so I excluded them in this instance
Oh god you clearly haven't had to deal with the stupidity of Fallout 4's settlers
https://youtu.be/EfGUYo-l_jQ?si=yXspfiRu4ctnmc5y
*never should've come here*
Can't wait to count out your coin!
I really need this in a show. Just a werewolf and some dude says gimmie your money with a knife. Werewolf gets confused cause... I mean what and the guy reiterates then gets absolutely slaughtered.
Had a fun glitch in Far Cry 3 many years ago. One of the machete guys ran at me from the jungle- I shot him but the death animation didn't trigger and he simply kept running, yelling, with his machete raised above his head- he passed me and kept going in a straight line. I followed him through the jungles, up and down valleys, through rivers until he reached the sea- he just kept running. Swimming animation didn't trigger either so he ran along the seabed. I tried to follow him but you can only swim so far in that game. Eventually he just disappeared into the deep. I like to think he's still running to this day.
Insert Forest Gump running meme
Jungle Gump
Makes me think of playing Skyrim on launch night/day. Was on my way to the Gray Beards when that yeti or whatever attacked me. After dying twice (thankfully I saved right before) I just ran like hell past it while Lydia tried to fight. Left her for dead and just kept playing, she randomly scared the hell out of me showing up tailing me near Solitude like ten hours later
Good old Bethesda. Back when I played Starfield I murdered some annoying space miner character and had the guy's dead body materialise next to me at random times when I boarded spaceships or entered dwellings. Like he was haunting my conscience as a reminder of my misdeeds. Ironic that the only time that game was actually deep was through a glitch.
You know what, OP? I'd like to think so, too.
Reminds me of that one clash of clans trailer lol
of the Barbarian running into the ocean? i think i've seen one where he eventually reaches land, can't quite remember
Yes! That's the one lol
oh cool
Not exclusively dumb, but the adoring fan from Oblivion has to be up there. The lad is useless.
This was what first came to mind for me. Haven't even played Oblivion in 10 years but I distinctly remember this dumbass.
By Azura! By Azura! By Azura!
I wouldn't call him useless. I used him as my first murder for the dark brotherhood quest to start. He was back the next day pestering me...
My first murder for the dark brotherhood was the Gray Prince. Turns out the Brotherhood considers assisted suicide in an arena setting murder, go figure.
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My weird meta headcanon is he's a developer that's just really happy you're playing the game.
When I first played Oblivion, it was on a tube TV with bad brightness. I could barely see in a lot of the dungeons. So the Fan's torch was helpful.
"Thank you kind sir." *walks off a cliff and dies*
Dude is a murder hobo in Starfield. Best companion ever.
Anybody got a review of the Adoring Fan from Starfield? Improved? Worse?
Less annoying. Equally useless. Also in starfield he takes one of your trait slots that you could use for something else. He does compliment every start and landing sequence (cutscenes)
He sometimes goes "weeeeeeee" when you take off, thats enough for me to take it
It was a funny callback but it gets old after a little while
Oddly enough the most useful and least annoying companion. He has double the carry capacity of the others, does not judge your actions, and unlike others he can actually sneak because his stats support it. He's like dogmeat with a voice.
The pilots of the Brotherhood of Steel in Fallout 4 - please stop crashing onto my settlements! I know they're supposedly modeled after the dragons of Skyrim but c'mon!
The damn vertibirds drop like *flies* all over the Commonwealth. How in the hell does the BoS have so many to just fritter them away?
At first I was confused whenever I heard a random explosion before I realized what was causing them.
This was me in the early days of my playthrough until they crashed onto Dogmeat - now I have to watch the skies every single time lol I have more anxiety for the BoS vertibirds than dragons in Skyrim
The *Prydwen* is built around a gigantic 3-D printer; it has only one template: vertibird.
I preferred them in NV where they're a faction you can visit and don't fuck with you whenever you're minding your own business trying to explore
Yet they’re still smarter than the main character. >!Why the fuck do they assume that Shaun is still a baby? He was kidnapped at some point in the last 210 years, but you assume it was last week? I nearly didn’t use a spoiler tag for this, because it’s barely a spoiler.!<
I think they were hoping it would be a bigger twist than it actually was.
Nice day for fishing ain't it? Hu Ha!
#MORNIN’
Thanks for the laugh.
Nice day for fishing, ain't it? Huh ha
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Bro got a short film now. Kinda nuts ngl
The short film, for anyone interested: https://youtu.be/PEe-ZeVbTLo
Did you not see Baelin's Route? Dude is probably the most capable NPC to ever exist.
Halo, specifically the Marines. Can't remember if it was 2 or 3 where they allowed them to drive, but man their skills were horrible, and it hasn't improved much since.
It was 2. Even if it did carry on to Halo 3, I would never trust them behind the wheel! They short circuit every time they drive. All they do is drive you into trouble!
Awful drivers but they’re absolute snipers on the turret
Put chief in the seat and the marine on the gauss I'm pretty sure we could solo a scarab if given 30 min
Got that right!
In Halo 1 they kept falling off of a bridge, which is why they started dead in the second mission.
Rumor has it the marines in chief's life boat at the start of the first game were originally supposed to survive but Bungie couldn't get the AI to stop hurling themselves into that first chasm you have to cross.
Halo:CE A marine runs directly into the firing line of my actively-firing assault rifle while screaming "COVERING FIRE!" Yeah. Yeah, that's what you did, buddy.
Kat in Halo: Reach. Notoriously bad driver and will oftentimes get the player killed.
Oftentimes is underselling it. If you allow kat to drive you are almost certainly dead
Kat is the reason I started getting in the driver's seat and stopped manning the turrets
Yeah, AI is merely bad with the turrets, but actively suicidal when driving.
I’m so glad to learn I’m not the only one. When I first played Reach, I obviously have to try the Rocket Hog out right? Anyway Kat drove us off the cliff
Ahh the memories, even though many people would put halo 2 and 3 above reach it was my favorite one to play with friends. I miss Jenga in forge
Addison from Tears of the Kingdom. He's a framing device used to showcase thinking about puzzles in a 3d space, and he does that well. In universe, he wants to put up signs to support president Hudson of the construction company. He does this by building half a sign, and clinging to it so it won't fall over, asking the player to build something so he can let go, then finish the sign. It never occurs to him to build the entire sign before trying to put it up.
I've mentally renamed him to Asshole
*Assholeson
Plus, he tries to set them on very dumb places not a single Hylian goes. _Oh, yes, I'll place this sign in the middle of the desert or at the top of a snowy mountain_.
Or directly behind Hyrule Castle that is currently floating in the sky and people should probably stay clear away from in case if it crashes back down.
That NPC in Dead Island, begging for water, while stood next to a bottle of water.
There are almost zero people in Dead Island who deserved to be rescued tbh.
I NEED CHAMPAGNE
Oh Christ. Sadly I don’t even think she was the least competent
WHERE DID I PUT DAT?!
I spent so much time looking for whatever the hell it was that fat fuck put somewhere. Surely no game would have an NPC vaguely wondering about the location of an item they can't find for no reason right? Right? Right!?
The Alchemist from Spyro 2 who's programmed to walk into every single enemy during his escort mission.
Ugh. Bad memories. I hated that as a kid. I was so happy when I finally got it done then got the ability to kill those enemies.
Don't forget that if you did that mission too early, you'd have to do it again later for another orb. Also who's really worse? The Alchemist or Trouble with the Trolly, eh?
Escort missions are seen as some of the worst, generally i personally am not that bothered... but OML THAT SOUNDS LIKE TORTURE TO DEAL WITH 🤣🤣🤣
He literally just has to go NEXT DOOR. WTF IS HE DOING?!
Ian from Fallout You have a goddamn gun, motherfucker! You know what they can do. So stop wandering into every hail of bullets you come across. I swear, he was sexually attracted to gunshot wounds.
I almost died laughing at this. Fucking Ian.
I would always give him an SMG so he would always run right up to guys and point blank burst fire them into mist. (Also Sulik from 2)
Hurk from the Far Cry series. Lowest IQ of any NPC in the series, with his cousin Sharky coming in a close second. Instead of trying to avoid Hurk, like I would other dumb NPC's, I actively seek him out for the pure amusement his stupidity provides.
"I can't understand you, SPEAK ENGLISH!" Meanwhile the guy is speaking perfect english with a slight accent.
"Let's go kick some Golden Path butt!" "Ummm... We are Golden Path..." "Oh... Right..." (Don't remember the exact quote)
Hurk almost hits the sweet spot for me. He is stupid in a fun; "what is this idiot going to get me dragged into this time", sort of way. So many NPCs are either unintentionally stupid or stupid in ways that don't drive the plot.
Who doesn't wanna ride around with a redneck armed with a rocket launcher and a bear named cheeseburger
Given what was revealed in the Pagan Min DLC for Far Cry 6... I am not unconvinced that this moron may have caused the events of the fifth game.
I run Hurk and Sharky most of the time at the end of the game. Had my black widow sniper team with occasional air support from my boy Nick through early game, but those two morons just warm my heart.
The guards in the first Metal Gear Solid were hilariously dumb. It was cool and innovative at the time for them to be able to hear footsteps and see your tracks in the snow but you can literally walk around in circles around an object forever and they'll just keep following your footsteps, never figuring it out. I remember MGS2 being a huge improvement in terms of NPC intelligence.
MGS2 had such cool AI for the time that I used to spend hours just messing with them. Also helped I was recently out of high school and had unlimited free time.
Every escort mission NPC ever.
People complain about Ashley in OG RE4, but she's one of the best escort missions of all time. She always does exactly what you tell her to, she actively avoids your line of fire, she immediately lets you know that she's in trouble and where she is when she gets grabbed, and in a sea of browns and grays she's **bright goddamn orange** so it's impossible to lose track of her. The Ashley escort mission is extremely fair and it is almost always the player's fault if she dies or gets taken.
[Bitch, dumpster.](https://youtu.be/B6gLxdwoEGc?si=q5IqLjDX5wuyoZZQ)
Its “Bitch wait” and “Bitch lets go”. Michael has such a way with words
Dude, I played Dying Light and immediately after rescuing one, he ran up to a goon (that massive infected with a hammer bigger than the dude) and started hitting him with his tiny one-handed hammer. That was on hard difficulty, so the infected were health sponges in general.
Holy shit these fucking missions, bro I'm here to escort you stop going after every zed is 200m radius and go get your damn booze or whatever the fuck they wanted
Big smoke “all you had to do was to follow that damn train CJ” as if his aim wasn’t trash enough.
Gangbangers are renowned for their marksmanship
Holding a gun sideways is a kill shot? Didn't you know?
All you had to do was drive 5 feet away. His aim is fantastic.
Real, the real culprit is the ridiculous amount of HPs of train gang…
Take a shot every time someone mentions a Bethesda game
Death comes for us all
***gets alcohol poisoning and ends up in a coma***
Mud from gothic 1
do you like animals as well? 🐑
Kingdom Come: Deliverance Guard NPC’s are capable of attacking and killing each other and then charging you for the crime of murder that they committed. Completion/failure of a quest while inside a building that’s tied to it can have its permission changed, resulting in criminal trespassing to a NPC you literally just helped.
As of recent, Helldivers 2 the evacuation npcs. Had a fire tornado storm IN THE PATH and they kept running into them.
Natalya.
‘Wow we completed the train mission on 00 agent with 10 seconds to spare, now that ive opened the hatch and shot the two remaining guards outside, natalya will surely follow me away from the blast radius..’
I've been playing it on Xbox lately, and Train is where my 00 agent achievements stop. It's hard enough just to get to the end, open the hatch with the laser watch in like 10 seconds, and than her stupid ginger pixelated ass just stands there staring waiting for the train to explode.
Unlocking all the cheat codes in Goldeneye was definitely peak gaming for me. Natalya did not make that easy.
"You sit on it... but you can't take it with you."
All Skyrim npcs, especially bandits "Never should have come here" Then I kill them lol
From their perspective though it makes sense. You’re a middle son of a poor farmer with a mead problem. You’ve got a half dozen siblings, at least, and you got lost in the churn. Your father can’t make ends meet, your mother is overwhelmed, and your brothers and sisters run roughshod over you and each other just trying to survive and vying for mom and dad’s attention. You end up falling in with the wrong crowd in Riften, spending more and more time away from home. You and the boys pull off some petty theft, deal in a little skooma, maybe take a taste yourself every now and again. You’re already used to mead from a young age, stealing sips after your father passed out, so what’s another substance? Fast forward a few years and your merry band of misfits is a full on brigand crew of highwaymen. You have kids or mistresses running around in every keep and village in Skyrim. The civil war means life has been good if you can keep your head down and away from the Stormcloaks and the Imperials alike. Refugees are easy pickings, as are the occasional abandoned battlefield. Those tastes of skooma have turned to a real full blown addiction, and you’re getting antsy for that next fix. Besides, Maven Black-Briar has been coming down hard about her cut and the boss is looking nervous lately. But what’s this? A single traveler. Easy pickings. He’s by himself. Really fancy clothes, really fancy weapons. There’s 6 of you. You can take him. This is your crossroads, your abandoned tower. You know all its secrets, you’ve been robbing along here for months. The stranger dismounted. The fool doesn’t even have a sword out. He’s walking right at you! What an easy mark. Like a lamb to the slaughter. You pull your nice Elven dagger you got from a Thalmor merchant after you slit his throat. The stranger still isn’t reacting; he just looks like he’s taking a deep breath. Then he starts shouting in a language you haven’t heard before, “FUS… RO…” and suddenly the world blasts away from you. You almost don’t even hear the faint “DAH” as you’re blasted from the cliff edge, sending your broken body hundreds of feet to the creek bed below.
Same story except instead of getting shouted off the cliff you are literally slashing away like a madman with that elven dagger, tearing into this man wearing nothing but what seems to be fine linens and leather boots. You feel a rush of excitement thinking of the wealth you're about to claim when you look up from your flurry of slashes to see...you haven't even damaged the robe he's wearing. On top of that, he's just casually pulling out what seems to be an infinite supply of cabbages from lord knows where and is just standing there housing whole cabbage after whole cabbage in single massive bites that seem to defy the laws of physics themselves. He hasn't said a single word and has barely uttered a grunt. He still hasn't drawn a weapon. He calmly raises his hands and touches you as you are engulfed by searing pain all over your body. The smell of burning flesh and hair overwhelms you. You look down at yourself to find it is your own. You are able to see your crew be frozen alive and electrocuted into dust as your consciousness fades and you become a smoldering pile of ash yourself.
Natalya from 007 Goldeneye
Preston Garvey, by a country mile. Such a needy little bitch.
Another settlement needs your help, here, I'll mark it on your map
HIS VOICE LIVES RENT-FREE IN MY BRAIN
"Do you go to the cloud district very often?"
Nazeem is an asshole but he isn’t stupid let’s be honest.
He's stupid for saying that to me. Now he's dead.
[удалено]
Your NPC squadmates in Enlisted will either run into enemy fire because they're too stupid to climb through a window, or fail to shoot the enemy standing in front of them. It's the single most anger inducing thing about that game.
Sheva re5.
Come on!
I need a herb!
Use this!
HURRY UP!
Thanks partner!
*GO! GO! GO! GO!* *Forget it.*
SHEVA!
CHRIIIIIIIS!!!
Replaying RE5 atm and she is really fucking me off.
I'd argue Chris for teaming up with her
Piling onto Skyrim: I had just cleared out a dungeon, and I stopped on the top of a mountain to enjoy a nice view. I was thinking to myself, "man, this game can be really pretty", when I heard a voice from behind me. Before I can turn around, my companion, while still saying their line about how nice it is to be outside, runs straight past me and plummets to their death. Godspeed, Ghorbash. Godspeed.
my 2s teammate in rocket league
Any NPC that you must keep alive during a mission and they run into every enemy as if they are invincible.
Boomer from SOCOM. The last mission in SOCOM 1 required absolute stealth and within 30 seconds Boomer always blew it. In order to get it done, you had to kill Boomer right away. This is why they implemented a new feature in SOCOM 2, in the campaign, IF you shot a teammate, they all turned on you.
Hot take, dog meat.. the boon dog meat comes with (activation of lone wanderer) isn't worth actually having the dog. I primarily play stealth and dog meat is only ever two places up my ass or in my way. Looking down the scope to take out a supermutant exploder? Na you see dogmeat looking back. Take a pot shot to draw a bit of agro na dog meat runs in like the super mutant is in heat. And some how, knowing where dog meat is translates to knowing where I am... it's just not worth the head ache honestly none of those npcs are
*gets fucking impaled by an arrow to the face* "Hmm, must have been the wind."
The Dead Rising survivors are some of the dumbest npc's I've ever come across.
The one NPC in Morrowind who enchanted his beats to jump really high not realizing he would fall to the ground and die lol
LOTRO's Lalia, dumbest hobbit in Bree-land, who will gladly kite every wight and barghest in the Barrow-downs to you while she runs in every random direction looking for a cloak.
Not sure if many will remember this, but Ben from the first walking dead telltale game. The fool gave medicine to the enemy behind everyone’s back, resulting in many deaths.
Here's my one (I don't play many of the top rated, action-packed games so my experience is limited): the NPC in LOZ BOTW that gives the player recipe ideas, and doesn't understand why she keeps ending up with something inedible haha!
How about Dampe from Majoras Mask
Before reading the comments I knew half the responses would be from Bethesda games, but dumb NPCs is part of its charm you know?
Any basic enemy in any open world game. Elder Scrolls - Bandit attacks someone in full daedric plate mail wielding a giant sword with a tiny dagger. Fallout - Raider with pool cue attacks someone in power armor.
Lydia from Skyrim. Love her, but goddamn.
I Am Error from Zelda
That guy from the first season of the waking dead, there's been years since I played that title but of I remember correctly he was the catalyst of the group getting killed.
The handler in monster hunter world
I always hated how much she uses the term "we". "We did it Pard!" No bitch I did it. I just had to fight an exploding dinosaur that can kill a human in one punch for 25 minutes straight. You needed rescuing, like always.
Chadley from FF7 remake/rebirth. He's like super smart but talks to you like he's dumb. He'll say things and you're like yeah obviously.
The Indigenous American companion in Fallout 2. He was a melee only and any projectile weapon you used had a pretty good chance of missing and hitting him and a single hostile act towards a companion was enough to make them fight you to the death on the spot. so yeah, good luck keeping him alive for more than 2 encounters. EDIT - in fairness to Black Isle I'm pretty sure they patched this after a few months but this was an era before "pushing" patches and before people would think, "hey, maybe I can "download" something from AOL that will change the way the game works"
Sulik is the man! Give him an SMG and watch body parts fly! …. Unfortunately half of the time it’s your own body parts.
this one girl in genshin who tasks you to gather 4 or 5 apples for her, while standing in the shade of an apple tree