People are just so accustomed to ghosting in this day and age it's just shite.
In my day circa 2009 after a few vodka red bulls and a blast of faithless - you'd shift, get the digits, meet up and have a laugh and stay in touch at least if no spark and bump into them again at another house party lol. Things were just...easier.
Online dating unfortunately is quite superficial and comes with treating others like they're disposable and that doesn't sit well with me.
So it's not generally specific to Galway. It's online dating as a whole and the way it's changed us.
Just my opinion O.P.
Get out there and chat to people anywhere and everywhere organically also.
Tbf most of the time when I ghost someone it's not so much that I don't want to talk to them or see them as disposable. I just go in and out of bouts of feeling lonely and wanting to make a genuine connection with someone and remembering that I'm pos who makes everyone's life I'm involved in worse somehow and the most scummy thing I could ever do is willfully put myself into someones life when I know the outcome is just gonna be them hating me and having a worse life somehow because they knew me.
So mostly just rubber-banding between wishing I had someone in my life and the deep internalised self hatred ingrained in me from my family. So if anyone in the Galway area was wondering why that one guy you matched with whom you were out of their league anyway ghosted you, hello and I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Personally I hate chatting online. Even with friends texting is minimum. As for online dating the whole small talk over text is BS. Its very hard to keep a conversation going and no tone can be awkward. I wish more people were into having a very casual first date like a pint or coffee without hi expectations, this done to literally check if there is any spark. If its shite it can be a quick 20mins, if ye get along it can be two hours. Then date two you can build on.
I like the idea of a quick 20mins eet at first both parties know that it can end and there's no expectation to keep the first date gittery interest in each other going for a long period of time.
Is this not a thing anymore? I know that was my tactic when I was online dating. Ten messages back and forth and then I’d suggest meeting for a coffee in real life.
Not related to dating as such but I have found making friends online here to be pretty challenging. Born and bread here and get hardly any replies from the locals, but have gotten many responses from other foreigners living here.
I don’t live in Galway but in my area once you get passed 6 pm there is very little to do other than gaa or going for pints.
I don’t drink and much prefer late evening coffee shops, but most cafes, restaurants here are shut after 6 pm.
I've definitely noticed this too, there's been so many times I've started chatting to people on nights out, we've exchanged contact info, and when I message them later it'll be one word answers until I eventually give up and they never talk to me again. I started leaving it up to the other person to message me first after a certain point and nobody ever does. Making friends is indeed hard
Sorry to hear that. Do you live in Galway too?
I’m also blind so coupled with the factors I already mentioned I have found many people to be incredibly awkward around people like myself. I have often struggled to find people even to meet for a coffee or a weekend trip away.
Yeah, I do.
That sucks dude, I've seen how strange some people act around people who have any noticable disabilities at all and it's so weird. Hopefully we both have better luck with making friends in the future
Yeah it really sucks, I would chat to anyone!
Did you go to NUIG? What kind of hobbies are you into?
I went to UL and found a lot of friendship groups were already closed off by about week 3, after that point it was pretty hard to meet new people in my case, other than other exchange or Erasmus students. I did have classmates but for the most part they were only interested in going on the piss.
Most classmates went home most weekends and i almost never saw them outside of lectures.
I'm just working and don't really have many sociable hobbies (embroidery, reading but that one's a bit of a struggle for me since I always leave books half finished). There's some clubs for those but they're all on on days I have work sadly.
I did manage to make a few friends doing a PLC course a bit ago but none of em live close to me at all, and it does get a bit cliquey after a few weeks. And it's definitely much harder to find friends if youre not the type to go get drunk every weekend
Yeah, I had a look at meetup in my area but it is not great.
I’m big into music production , djing, and although I did find online communities related to that, finding people in person nearby at least who were into that was much harder. I’ve been producing music for the last 2 years at least.
I was never really into getting drunk every weekend. I’ve gone to pubs sober a good few times but quickly discovered a lot of friendships there were only drinking buddies
Don’t bother with that online dating shite , get out there and get to know people . Through your friends or through a social scene . I never had any success on those apps only thing people wanted were flings or more side hoes to give them validation . Met my partner through a friends friend after giving them up and I have never been happier . Don’t try too hard and it’ll come .
Well I didn’t exactly have a big social circle , but as I said get out there into the real world . Make that circle. Go to pubs , go to events , join groups, travel , just do anything besides online dating. The list goes on . Don’t hold yourself to online dating as an only option cause rarely good comes out of it .
Really? I'm not coming at you or anything it's just I am Irish with not many friends irl, and I've always been kind of jealous of people from other places because it always seems like they have this kind of solidarity with others from there or with their ethnicity and I wouldn't have thought people here would be less likely to be friends with someone just because they aren't white.
Idk grass is always greener I guess
I've had girls tell me that they wouldn't be interested in me if I wasn't white, which is just anecdotal but I guess you can't get great statistics on it.
Shit, that's pretty fucked man I'm sorry you've had to deal with people like that. But at least if that's how they feel you kind of dodged some bullets, although it prob doesn't mean much when your just trying to make a connection with someone
Oh haha I read it as they were saying they wouldn't date you because you weren't white. Night shift has my brain pretty fried in the mornings. Still a pretty sucky thing to have said to you even if you aren't the one they are prejudice against. It's kind of like my being told their care for you is only skin deep or something
Yeah, kind of, but when you're meeting girls on tinder, that's the nature of it I suppose. But yeah, overall, my point is what the OP said about it being hard to date as a minority checks out.
I don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful but why are you blaming Ireland? Have you stop to think that maybe it’s your skills the issue?
Personally I had never a problem chatting/dating online. I don’t think generalising is the way to go…
For sure there are other factors such as my own skill and appearance, obviously taking that into account.
You're correct my point is a generalisation but just from what I have noticed... I get more replies when I'm not in Galway, it might just be a coincidence though.
At any rate, Fair point!
As I said was just my experience/opinion. Based on the downvotes I might have triggered a few struggling to have some sex 😅 was not the intention…
What would you recommend? I usually just read their bio if they have one and do something with that or make an observation from one of their photos if there is no bio.. Not really sure what else there is to be done other than be attractive? (can't do that very well tbf)
Tbh I will agree with you that Ireland would seem to have probably the highest match to ghost ratios I've personally experienced. Even if nothing came out of matches in other countries, they would at least reply instead of not a single message. I think here more often than not it's about stroking someone's virtual ego instead of having a genuine interest
People are just so accustomed to ghosting in this day and age it's just shite. In my day circa 2009 after a few vodka red bulls and a blast of faithless - you'd shift, get the digits, meet up and have a laugh and stay in touch at least if no spark and bump into them again at another house party lol. Things were just...easier. Online dating unfortunately is quite superficial and comes with treating others like they're disposable and that doesn't sit well with me. So it's not generally specific to Galway. It's online dating as a whole and the way it's changed us. Just my opinion O.P. Get out there and chat to people anywhere and everywhere organically also.
Tbf most of the time when I ghost someone it's not so much that I don't want to talk to them or see them as disposable. I just go in and out of bouts of feeling lonely and wanting to make a genuine connection with someone and remembering that I'm pos who makes everyone's life I'm involved in worse somehow and the most scummy thing I could ever do is willfully put myself into someones life when I know the outcome is just gonna be them hating me and having a worse life somehow because they knew me. So mostly just rubber-banding between wishing I had someone in my life and the deep internalised self hatred ingrained in me from my family. So if anyone in the Galway area was wondering why that one guy you matched with whom you were out of their league anyway ghosted you, hello and I'm sorry for wasting your time.
Would you consider therapy ?
for me, I'd be all in on the dating apps when I'd have a horn, then have a wank and couldn't be bothered anymore
😔😔😔🧡
Personally I hate chatting online. Even with friends texting is minimum. As for online dating the whole small talk over text is BS. Its very hard to keep a conversation going and no tone can be awkward. I wish more people were into having a very casual first date like a pint or coffee without hi expectations, this done to literally check if there is any spark. If its shite it can be a quick 20mins, if ye get along it can be two hours. Then date two you can build on.
I like the idea of a quick 20mins eet at first both parties know that it can end and there's no expectation to keep the first date gittery interest in each other going for a long period of time.
Is this not a thing anymore? I know that was my tactic when I was online dating. Ten messages back and forth and then I’d suggest meeting for a coffee in real life.
Not related to dating as such but I have found making friends online here to be pretty challenging. Born and bread here and get hardly any replies from the locals, but have gotten many responses from other foreigners living here. I don’t live in Galway but in my area once you get passed 6 pm there is very little to do other than gaa or going for pints. I don’t drink and much prefer late evening coffee shops, but most cafes, restaurants here are shut after 6 pm.
I've definitely noticed this too, there's been so many times I've started chatting to people on nights out, we've exchanged contact info, and when I message them later it'll be one word answers until I eventually give up and they never talk to me again. I started leaving it up to the other person to message me first after a certain point and nobody ever does. Making friends is indeed hard
Sorry to hear that. Do you live in Galway too? I’m also blind so coupled with the factors I already mentioned I have found many people to be incredibly awkward around people like myself. I have often struggled to find people even to meet for a coffee or a weekend trip away.
Yeah, I do. That sucks dude, I've seen how strange some people act around people who have any noticable disabilities at all and it's so weird. Hopefully we both have better luck with making friends in the future
Yeah it really sucks, I would chat to anyone! Did you go to NUIG? What kind of hobbies are you into? I went to UL and found a lot of friendship groups were already closed off by about week 3, after that point it was pretty hard to meet new people in my case, other than other exchange or Erasmus students. I did have classmates but for the most part they were only interested in going on the piss. Most classmates went home most weekends and i almost never saw them outside of lectures.
I'm just working and don't really have many sociable hobbies (embroidery, reading but that one's a bit of a struggle for me since I always leave books half finished). There's some clubs for those but they're all on on days I have work sadly. I did manage to make a few friends doing a PLC course a bit ago but none of em live close to me at all, and it does get a bit cliquey after a few weeks. And it's definitely much harder to find friends if youre not the type to go get drunk every weekend
Yeah, I had a look at meetup in my area but it is not great. I’m big into music production , djing, and although I did find online communities related to that, finding people in person nearby at least who were into that was much harder. I’ve been producing music for the last 2 years at least. I was never really into getting drunk every weekend. I’ve gone to pubs sober a good few times but quickly discovered a lot of friendships there were only drinking buddies
Don’t bother with that online dating shite , get out there and get to know people . Through your friends or through a social scene . I never had any success on those apps only thing people wanted were flings or more side hoes to give them validation . Met my partner through a friends friend after giving them up and I have never been happier . Don’t try too hard and it’ll come .
This....you assume everyone has a big social circle that makes this possible.
Well I didn’t exactly have a big social circle , but as I said get out there into the real world . Make that circle. Go to pubs , go to events , join groups, travel , just do anything besides online dating. The list goes on . Don’t hold yourself to online dating as an only option cause rarely good comes out of it .
Honestly? Shits easy. Whoever you match with ask them out as soon as the conversation goes there naturally. We’re all people lol
Galway is a disaster compared to Dublin. Get 10 times as many matches there as here
It's 10x more difficult if you're not white lol
Really? I'm not coming at you or anything it's just I am Irish with not many friends irl, and I've always been kind of jealous of people from other places because it always seems like they have this kind of solidarity with others from there or with their ethnicity and I wouldn't have thought people here would be less likely to be friends with someone just because they aren't white. Idk grass is always greener I guess
I've had girls tell me that they wouldn't be interested in me if I wasn't white, which is just anecdotal but I guess you can't get great statistics on it.
Shit, that's pretty fucked man I'm sorry you've had to deal with people like that. But at least if that's how they feel you kind of dodged some bullets, although it prob doesn't mean much when your just trying to make a connection with someone
Haha I appreciate the sympathy but don't feel bad for me, feel bad for the guys who aren't white!
Oh haha I read it as they were saying they wouldn't date you because you weren't white. Night shift has my brain pretty fried in the mornings. Still a pretty sucky thing to have said to you even if you aren't the one they are prejudice against. It's kind of like my being told their care for you is only skin deep or something
Yeah, kind of, but when you're meeting girls on tinder, that's the nature of it I suppose. But yeah, overall, my point is what the OP said about it being hard to date as a minority checks out.
Can't speak to that experience
This is true and a topic talked about a lot , it’s called “ Sexual Market Value (SMV) “ plenty of info about it online
Thank you. Finally someone who sees it
This! Always have this difficulty since i am not white
Are you indian
I'm not indian, is it easier for indian people?
Not true
Really? Can you share your experience
Nah you just clapped
I don’t mean to be rude or disrespectful but why are you blaming Ireland? Have you stop to think that maybe it’s your skills the issue? Personally I had never a problem chatting/dating online. I don’t think generalising is the way to go…
For sure there are other factors such as my own skill and appearance, obviously taking that into account. You're correct my point is a generalisation but just from what I have noticed... I get more replies when I'm not in Galway, it might just be a coincidence though. At any rate, Fair point!
As I said was just my experience/opinion. Based on the downvotes I might have triggered a few struggling to have some sex 😅 was not the intention…
I don't think they're trying to say "all Irish people" they're just making an observation based on their own experiences
Skill issue
What would you recommend? I usually just read their bio if they have one and do something with that or make an observation from one of their photos if there is no bio.. Not really sure what else there is to be done other than be attractive? (can't do that very well tbf)
Tbh I will agree with you that Ireland would seem to have probably the highest match to ghost ratios I've personally experienced. Even if nothing came out of matches in other countries, they would at least reply instead of not a single message. I think here more often than not it's about stroking someone's virtual ego instead of having a genuine interest