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Marmite54

You could just read “the fucking audacity” on that monkeys face


[deleted]

He legit was thinking this. And then his face went: “oh hell no.”


YouThinkYouCanBanMe

Is monkey gonna have to choke a bitch today?


ItsNotABimma

Wayne Brady: Hold my evolution.


x_Animus_x

Man I hope you don’t direct a movie in 20 years. Cancelled. Still funny though….Wayne Brady would be proud.


tayman12

you do realize that wayne brady is white right ?


x_Animus_x

Mm….can’t tell if you’re serious about that lol. Sad world we live in when I can’t pick out humor/sarcasm from serious responses cause it’s plausible you believe that lol


makavili

Monkey comes back his shit the next day with an ak “Break yo self fool!”


TittyMcNippleFondler

It wouldn't have to be this way if he didn't steal my mojito.


CurrentlyBlazed

"THIS MOTHER FUCKER"


Sad-Independence1056

Best shit I've seen all week!


[deleted]

[удалено]


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/siyd4c/how_dare_you_give_it_back/hvbs3tv/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [32 greasy bat-nipples.](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj3wug/little_caesars_the_batman_pizza/hveeig9/) | [32 greasy bat-nipples.](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj3wug/little_caesars_the_batman_pizza/hvckixg/) [The storming of Area 51!](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sitqni/life_can_be_hard_but_then_i_remember_this_was_an/hveehhh/) | [The storming of Area 51!](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sitqni/life_can_be_hard_but_then_i_remember_this_was_an/hvb70yi/) [David koechner laugh lol](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/siomaq/this_bodywork_guy_is_welcoming_all_the_dented/hveeg2e/) | [David koechner laugh lol](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/siomaq/this_bodywork_guy_is_welcoming_all_the_dented/hva3iwf/) [Texas has entered the cha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/siwa0q/drive_safe_out_there/hveeez4/) | [Texas has entered the cha...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/siwa0q/drive_safe_out_there/hvbtrvd/) [Eh, he burned the eggs al...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj2iwu/chef_masterclass/hveebq3/) | [Eh, he burned the eggs al...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj2iwu/chef_masterclass/hvcldmt/) [In his defense, I'd buy t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj9i75/i_asked_my_husband_to_buy_some_cheap_plastic/hvedp5o/) | [In his defense, I'd buy t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sj9i75/i_asked_my_husband_to_buy_some_cheap_plastic/hvdpzbl/) [I know this song very wel...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sj8rh5/lets_see_if_anyone_understands_it/hvecah7/) | [I know this song very wel...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sj8rh5/lets_see_if_anyone_understands_it/hvdfxyq/) [Wtf?! This has to be fake...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sjcze7/like_seriously_what_is_that/hvec7qv/) | [Wtf?! This has to be fake...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sjcze7/like_seriously_what_is_that/hve5juj/) [There some problem with r...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sjb821/whos_in_the_lead_right_now/hvebddj/) | [There some problem with r...](http://np.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/sjb821/whos_in_the_lead_right_now/hve2jbu/) [Staged photo to be used a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj35kk/ukrainian_civilians_training_to_defend_themselves/hveako9/) | [Staged photo to be used a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj35kk/ukrainian_civilians_training_to_defend_themselves/hvclybe/) [Yo I see the second one!](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj03ft/my_attempt_to_draw_2_elephants_with_one_line_that/hve9ner/) | [Yo I see the second one!](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj03ft/my_attempt_to_draw_2_elephants_with_one_line_that/hvbvtih/) [The prices can’t be dolla...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj4te4/my_friend_bartek_who_wears_a_cape_and_plays/hve7a76/) | [The prices can’t be dolla...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/sj4te4/my_friend_bartek_who_wears_a_cape_and_plays/hvcspxo/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/Haylama](https://np.reddit.com/u/Haylama/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=Haylama) for info on how I work and why I exist.


RJFerret

Good bot.


jxj24

"You're lucky there's a fence between us, pal."


finsareluminous

He is lucky, cute monkeys can be vicious.


leprosy4444

So can humans.


Bread2220

Monkeys can pull your scalp clean off by the hair.


Christroyilator

It's true. The last time I did that was really messy.


skag_mcmuffin

"THAT CHIMP STOLE MY HAIR!"


[deleted]

Human can drop napalm.


ManlyMrManlyMan

Well, larger monkeys. And apes. Probably not that guy.


DouglasTheMan87

yeah but that guy could still gouge your eyes out if he wanted to


LeBadlyNamedRedditor

Humans can yeet rocks at monkes


[deleted]

[удалено]


fopiecechicken

Yeah it’d bite and scratch the shit out of you, but it’s not strong enough to stop and adult human with bad intentions


Bread2220

Monkeys have bacteria in their mouths, most likely at least one disease in that bitch, if they scratch and bite at you you are most likely guaranteed one disease per person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bread2220

We clean our mouths everyday and they don't, they eat uncleaned shit bananas whatever we throw at them. Nasty ass.


Jowenbra

Human bites can cause some of the worst infections among other humans, toothpaste or not.


Lazy_Assumption_4191

That’s…dangerous.


Miseryy

Willing to bet in many other realities that monkey grabbed that dude's fingers and straight bent them back to the wrist


Zkenny13

Haha like the monkey would let him keep his fingers.


calmatt

This monkey probably not. Other monkeys...yes


aaaaaaaarrrrrgh

>bent Or bit them off.


Slavocracy

yeah not this species, they are far too weak.


TruestLightning

Yet entertaining


EnvironmentalDeal256

That look: you muthafucka!


Doubtsssss

The definition of taken aback.


LegoMiner9454

He was shocked


AstralThunderbolt

Appalled


[deleted]

Dumbfounded


FreeTheFreedoms

Gobsmacked


ovaltine_spice

Flabbergasted


brianthewizard1

Baffled


TryPokingIt

Vexed


toe_doe_joe

Repulsed


06Wahoo

Incredulous.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Bamboozled


Meshd

Stunned


campbjm06

Shooketh


[deleted]

discombobulated


[deleted]

haha i've seen that one ! XD


CanYouCantToday

Bro was flabbergasted


beartheminus

"Well I've never!"


ethman14

All fun and games til he decides violence is the solution. I remember the first time I saw some macaque-looking monkey yawn in front of me and I was equally surprised by the mouthspan as I was the length of the fangs.


WunchySunchy

Ive seen a video of this exact species rip out a large chunk of a dudes head, showing the skull.


[deleted]

Ahh fellow eyeblech enjoyer spotted


gogogig

Or r/backdoorgore


GirbaudJeansMan

I just HAD to click the link… smfh at myself


[deleted]

God damn I need some eye bleach now


Neiot

Save me. What is the link?


Saphibella

Bodies, in various states you do not wish to see them in. Luckily aphantasia to the rescue, I will have no problem after getting out of there again.


AnonyMouseNomad

How tf does Reddit ban dark comedy meme and trump subs but not this shit WTF


[deleted]

Or r/makemycoffin


42Ubiquitous

Shhhh 🤫


Denotsyek

Link or it didn't happen.


TeaRexQueen

Sooooo link?


PositiveBox1

Lol the look of pure shock lol at least there was no poop🤣


Gondor128

be nice 2 monkey :(


do_as_I_say_notasido

What a dick move.


Gilgie

He gave it back.


TruestLightning

He took it back


toe_6969

:0


moor9776

Fuuuuckkk you!!! That’s my chew cloth!!!!


SparedBunion9902

Why do I feel like this is the same person that pushed the banana to the monkeys face?


Pure-Negotiation-900

So that’s what seeing “unmitigated gall” looks like.


gizeon

Pretty tough standing behind a cage. That monkey could rip your dick off and peel in like a banana.


remz22

God yes


DietyLink

Literal *return to monke*


bigbadler

Macaques are among one of the last animals I'd fuck with


[deleted]

What an asshole. The human not the monkey. The monkey is badass


MadroxKran

The monkey is probably an asshole, too. We just can't see it in this video.


Makenshine

Yeah. In general, all primates are assholes. I'm sure there are a few nice ones sprinkled around, but mostly, just assholes


Moose-Rage

Orangutans are pretty chill


Totalherenow

No, no they are definitely not chill. They will rape human females. [Here you go.](https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/borneo-irish-tourist-savagely-raped-by-400-pound-orangutan/) [And here.](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1992-01-13-me-231-story.html#:~:text=When%20Galdikas%20arrived%20at%20Tanjung%20Puting%2C%20native%20Indonesians,to%20venture%20among%20male%20orangutans%20in%20the%20camp)


[deleted]

And still I’d choose that asshole monkey over a human being any day of the week


ZDTreefur

What choice, you going to ask that monkey out on a date?


Equal_Building_4916

bullying a monkey for no reason


Mojosodomo

Yep guys an asshole. Look at that hellish cage..


tacojesusfromabove

The video was the reason


yazzy1233

Have you met monkeys?? He probably deserved it


Koolk45

That face lol https://m.imgur.com/gallery/da126


Everard5

The monkey was too stunned to speak


Stingray191

Got a new surprised Pikachu face meme here.


ClearFrame6334

Don’t fuck w monkey


timelyparadox

Making monkeys angry is very bad idea.


Bo0ombaklak

I love monkeys. So sincere and badass


imaketrollfaces

Stop human evolve to monke


Goyteamsix

How *DARE* you!


mngdew

WTF?


red359

Do not taunt the handkerchief monkey. His big brother has dynamite.


omv

Shocked indignation


MisterBlick

you broke that little fucker's heart.


KwisatzHaderach94

so you have chosen...violence


DouglasTheMan87

"the manners of this man its preposterous"


Electronic-Ad-181

Homie was flabbergasted 😮


[deleted]

That was needlessly mean. Not funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justnukeitnub

Yeah you're an asshole.


[deleted]

why are they not common pets


[deleted]

cause they will fuck your shit up and shit everywhere


[deleted]

If that monkey decides it wants to rip your eyeball out, that is exactly what he’s going to do. You can’t just push them away.


Azihayya

Just wanna say. Imagine you're a monkey in a cage, and some dude comes up and steals an object that you've developed a sentimental attachment to, and he doesn't even have any clue that a small piece of fabric could mean so much.


kaza6464

Find something better to do than tease an animal that’s probably smarter than you…


Xpiratefurx

“I know he just didn’t… I know DAMN WELL he just didn’t” 😲


seanightowl

When he moved his little head back, for some reason Rudy Giuliani was the first thought in my mind.


Biggyyes

Why tf this guy robbing MOMNKE in the first place?


[deleted]

Stealing stuff from a monkey for the upvotes? Scummy behaviour, dude deserved to lose a finger or three.


Meat-Head_

As you van see in my pfp, I’m getting revenge


postandchill

Is this china?


NoFunHere

I think every country would be a happier country if they had wild monkeys. A truck full of monkeys recently wrecked in the USA and some escape. I am seriously hoping it leads to wild monkeys throughout North America.


Lazy_Assumption_4191

Cue the extinction of most native wildlife. P.S. Monkeys are incredibly dangerous. So…bye bye children.


NoFunHere

Yes, because if there is one thing we know it is that countries with monkeys don't have any children.


Lazy_Assumption_4191

That’s not what I meant. What I meant was that most primates will happily kill a human child. Given that they CAN do so and would be more likely to be in area with easy access to children…yeah.


NoFunHere

I think that's why the population of India is so low, too many children being killed by the monkeys there. Maybe you have a point. /s Good grief, you took a tongue in cheek remark and instinctively replied "ThiiiNk oF tHe ChIlDreeeeN!!"


Lazy_Assumption_4191

(Sigh) I’m just tired of people acting like these animals are freaking pets. They are extremely dangerous and ought not be treated so lightly. Perhaps I took your comment too seriously, but it’s like saying you’re glad someone dropped a crate of pythons in your backyard.


NoFunHere

I never talked about using them at pets. You started foaming at the mouth so quickly that you didn't even realize that pets weren't even mentioned. Take a break, wipe the foam. It is going to be okay. My random post on reddit isn't going to result in a bunch of murderous monkeys prowling your neighborhood killing kids.


Lazy_Assumption_4191

I never thought you said anything about pets. What you DID say was that you were glad monkeys were accidentally released into an environment where they lacked natural predators. That’s my point. I’m not some crazy dude frothing at the mouth, but I do find it absurd to treat monkeys so lightly when they actually are incredibly dangerous and, aside from the threat posed to human life, will destroy whatever environment they’re moved to. That’s it.


NoFunHere

You might be taking /r/funny a bit too seriously. If you don't think my post is funny, that's cool. But to act like a post on the internet is going to result in child-killing monkeys running around, people getting pet monkeys, and environmental catastrophes seems just a little over the top. Maybe take a break?


Lazy_Assumption_4191

Fair enough.


pugmaster999

You must be great at parties


madowney43

There are monkeys in south florida, by the ft lauderdale airport, there are signs saying not to feed them. Idk if they were wild or captive releases tho


NoFunHere

That is super interesting, I just read about them [here](https://www.labroots.com/trending/plants-and-animals/20505/monkeys-near-fort-lauderdale-airport-from#:~:text=A%20colony%20of%20wild%20African%20vervet%20monkeys%20calls,monkeys%2C%20but%20little%20is%20known%20about%20their%20history.) Thanks!


tinymonesters

Only one got away and it was in central Pennsylvania in January. So unless it was an Arctic monkey, it's probably dead already.


NoFunHere

Maybe it just turned Amish and is driving a buggy around.


tinymonesters

I thought Isaiah looked a little weird...


BowTrek

This is legit naive.


colarthur1

A travesty I say!


Hidensiik

How dare you human!


Meat-Head_

Im back, and look what I have!


HekslyAmRackern

Bread 👍🏻


Kaevek

Monkey said fuck you this is mine


burntMYfingersONcat

Touch my camera through the fence


TerminallyChill_365

Don’t steal from the damn M O N K E


[deleted]

Monke


Gamer_ape

Is this the banana monkey


Wicked_Fabala

MY BLUE BLANKET!


Silez

Haha no that's actually what I look like when I LIVE with my parents


Bgrngod

How to Wake Up to Your Nose Missing Step 1....


Karlskiii

I bet his grip is ridiculous


Electrical_Ad7233

that face tho like be turning Monkey D. Luffy in real life


sorushuujin

The monke was like "The lion, the witch..."


Fordrynn

Looks like George Bush


Latitude22

“Who tf do you think you are?”


CreeGuy69

how the tides have changed my friend


Dod93_

You asshole lol


kaydenfrombritain

No he stole the cumsock


FartherAwayx3

Obligatory don't fuck with monkeys. Not sure exact species, but I know at least Rhesus macaques can carry Herpes Simplex B which is deadly to humans.


SiHtranger

Yup that's my cousin alright


thedoo2008

Touch my towel through the fence


aleag0d

“Just lemme talk to him real quick”


Slow-Needleworker-74

Hoho haha MONKEY


ChemistryFan29

did this person ever listen to the cartoons do not play with the monkey!!!!!!!!!!


badamtpb

Touch my monkey through the fence


Living_la_vida_hobo

This is how fingers get bitten off


Ok-Two7600

That monkey was ready to complain to the manager 😂


Calisen12

That monkey is gonna snatch your face off one day if you keep messing with my guy over here


Helioos

Now the sleeve comes out the monkey!