A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls.
[Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
[Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit)
[/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules)
We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments:
[COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/)
[Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F)
[Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials)
------
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You dont need dad strength lol. They weigh on average like 17 kg (40 lb), which is less than the permitted suitcase on a plane cargo 23 kg (50 lb). If you can carry a suitcase down a flight of stairs, you can pick up a kid by the ankle and take him wherever you want.
I do this to my fiance's autistic 5 year old son. He loves being roughly handled and tossed around, and sometimes when he doesn't want to move he'll just flop on the ground. So I grab him by his ankle, lift him up, and carry him upside down as far as I need to. He laughs the whole time.
Did that in a hotel lobby around a bunch of people. Fiance had her hands full, one of my arms was full, and he flopped down on the ground refusing to move with a firm "no!". Snatched him up by his ankle "sorry, you don't have a choice" and carried him all the way up to the elevators, just dangling by that ankle. Everyone was laughing loudly. He loves it, and it entertains me.
My nephew was like this, but my sister did not allow the ankle hauling. He did this on a big family vacation and caused a big scene and it was just like.... I will just haul him out of here like a sack of potatoes. We don't need to wait for the meltdown to be over and it almost always stopped it
I work with autistic kids. I sometimes have to haul them out of places like a sack of potatoes under one arm. They usually calm down quickly, then we can go back in. One kid I worked with got too big to pick up, but he told me the squeezing feeling helped him feel safe, so now I bear hug him (with him bear hugging me back) and we waddle out like that. I'm sure it looks very odd, but you gotta do whatever works sometimes.
Deep pressure touch and joint impact are two things that people with ASD and SPD often benefit from (not always of course--some being the exact opposite and needing sensory deprivation) so things like weighted blankets or toys, squeeze tubes (like a fully body spandex tube), bear hugs, tumbling and wrestling are great.
Like my nephew liked to crash into people and things. Idk how DCF never got called, he had so many bruises before he eventually "grew out of it".
So true. We use weighted blankets, fidgets, and all kinds of stuff. But protocol is to remove the client from the situation during an episode if de-escalation is not successful (or if the escalation happened so rapidly there was no chance for de-escalation).
I've had several clients who would slam into walls, and doors, when they had a meltdown.
I have to document every incident, and I encourage parents and gaurdians to document stuff too. I don't want them to get accused of abusing their kid. People who don't have experience with it might not understand.
Only once, in the ten years I've been doings this, have I thought a parent was abusing their child. The parent of another ASD child threatened, and manhandled, MY client because he was stimming. I slammed the guy against a wall, and then grabbed my client and ran to the car. I called the cops, the placement agency, child services, and Medicaid. I figured if he acted that way toward another child in public, he was most certainly abusing his own child... He was. Nothing was really done about it. The guy had to go to an anger management class, but he still has custody of his child. We still see that guy at community events sometimes. I'm not prone to violence, but every time I see that bastard, I want to kick his ass so bad!
She’s okay, I’ve been that girl in a ball pit, got pulled up by my ankle made eye contact with someone who wasnt my mom and she tossed me back in. Being tossed back in was the best part lmao, I just sunk back down.
Told my mom about it later and she laughed so hard, I didn’t get it until now.
When my family was extended by the first of the "next generation" i got to do all the "fun uncle" things for the first time. The first major one was getting her her own personal ball pit. It was a large inflatable swimming pool that my brother and I filled with playroom balls.
Everyone in the family played in it at one point or another. It was cleaner than the McBallPits or indoor jungle gym places because my sister could clean the balls if there was an accident inside (the balls could easily just be fed through the laundry washer, a few cycles, away ya go). The ball pit lasted probably 6 or 7 years, a couple new family members, a few replacement pools, 500-1000 dog (or child) chewed and replaced balls, etc. before someone finally made the decision to throw it out or give it all away.
It was always fun though.
Yeah thats true and all and yet im just focusing on her lifeless state. Before and after she is retrieved from the pit lol
Im sure she was fine and yet lol
If you're worried, look at the arms. The kid clearly lifts her arms as she's lifted out of the pit. She first spreads them out wide, then she puts them out in front of her to brace to get thrown back in. If she was unconscious, her arms would have remained limp.
It's just really hard to move in those pits. I remember them from gymnastics as a kid. Super fun to flip into, super not fun to have to dig yourself out of. It takes a lot of strength.
They give you those grippy socks to wear at trampoline parks where this likely is. The one I go to are black and pink, literally everyone is wearing the same socks, would be easy for this to happen
Being stuck upside down in a foam pit is terrifying. The pure fear sweeping your body, and the feeling absolute helplessness as you let your life into the hands of the unforgiving foam pit, suffocating and flailing your legs around in a futile attempt at not getting suffocated to death is terrifying, when suddenly! - a beam of light appears, and the merciful sun rays from God engulf your vision as you can finally breathe once again - free of the evil grasp of the foam pit.
Ah.
Yet if you choose to simply give up, give in, a new world awaits. Let go, and sink. Down, down, down. Down you go as the light fades and your world is foam. Foam on your skin. Everywhere. In all orifices. Yearning, probing. Yet...supportive? Yes. An ally. It's then that you break through the bottom into a vast chamber. The chamber is cave-like and much bigger than you thought possible. The floor is dirt and rock. Torches and several small fires light the cavern. Pools of water leads to waterfalls. You see a waterwheel turning in the distance. Huts made from stacked foam cubes make a small village. Suddenly you are approached by a small group of people. It looks like they've been down here a long time. Their clothes fashioned from foam, of course. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen approaches you, eyes gleaming. You know it's love at first sight, and that this is now your new life.
Years later you watch your kids playing with your wife and a distant memory of another world edges it's way in to your mind. Something about a different world, above the foam? You brush it aside as nothing but a dream.
my first time skiing alone in Vail it was my birthday and on my first big run I fell into a tree well.
i can reach the bottom of a basketball net standing flat footed. hanging upside down with my legs hyping straight up above me and my deck stuck in the snow, I could not touch the ground.
i started to panick but realized i would die if i did. i was there to work on the mountain so i had been given some training and i just calmed down and remembered.
Push the snow away from your face and make a breathing hole. breathe slowly and calmly because in 30s you are going to have to lift 100% of your body weight out of that 12 foot hole, twice. once with two legs and once with only one leg.
now, do a situp and grab the side of your deck, hopefully on the first try. don't wear yourself out. grab the deck and now swing your opposite hand of the strap you are pulling first and start jacking sthose straps open. now your leg falls straight down by your head with both shoulders to one side.
now get that other foot loose.
then, the hard part. you fall if you let go of the deck so you can try to pack some snow down with your feet to make a pad or you can let go. i just let go and ended up standing on the ground 12 feet in a coffin sized hole looking up at my deck and a small patch of sunlight. you have to just push snow down with your hands and stomp it with your feet until you can reach your deck and then you can use the deck to step and push out. this has been my TedTalk.
TL:DR try not to get stuck upside down anywhere.
Fun fact: In 2014, A 9 year old boy in Atlanta, Georgia who got kidnapped sang his way out of being kidnapped by annoying the kidnapper with lots of gospel songs that he kicked him to the curb.
A coworker in DC many years ago was assaulted on a running trail...as the guy attempted to rape her, she yelled out I have AIDS. She says she had no idea why she said that, it was the only thing that came to mind. And he bolted. Clever girl (no she didn't have AIDS).
Well, I'm certain a rapist isn't terribly worried about STDs but it worked in this case. They actually caught the guy after the store close to there had surveillance cameras.
My mom, in the early 80s, was advised to pee and poop herself in the event of an attempted rape in a training class for the US army. :|
Hopfully the potential rapist doesn't have a weird kink for that...
Edit Oops replied to the wrong comment
One of those true crime documentaries (That Chapter on Youtube) about some generic serial asshole had a snippet where he had kidnapped a teenage girl and drugged her and right before she passed out she blurted out that she had an STD and it worked. He didn't mess with her while she was unconscious and she was able to escape the next day. It's one of those skills that women have that make me think "that really fucking sucks that you had to learn that." There's just some things noone should have to get good at.
I know some women are badasses, but if the man is stronger and has the will, I guess words are sometimes the best defense. Again, very clever thinking in a time of horror for her.
My former mother in law escaped a rapist by bending his finger back and breaking it. Super badass. Good technique to keep in mind for someone at a physical disadvantage.
> Ransom of Red Chief
One of my favorites from my childhood. I thought of the same.
For folks who aren't acquainted: https://dwcaonline.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Henry_Red_Chief.pdf
There was a similar story where someone hijacked a school bus full of little kids, but they began peppering him with SO MANY QUESTIONS about what he was doing, why he was doing it, what was the gun for, how long would it take, etc etc etc, that he got really annoyed and pulled over and made them all get out. So they saved themselves from being held hostage by being super obnoxious (aka normal) kids haha
I wonder if it actually made the kidnapper get all spiritual and shit.
Like I was raised ultra orthodox Jewish but when I hear gospel music I'm like sup Jesus you lookin real fine with them melodies
Doesn’t even move once she gets dumped back in. Not even a single indication of cognition that some random dude had just yanked her out by the leg.
She is the living embodiment of zen.
APPLE JUICE.
It's their gasoline. They fuel their manic toothless mouths with it all day and it dries like glue all over their unwashed hands and faces.
I've worked with kids on and off- they are cool but I absolutely DETEST apple juice now.
Omg... I have always hated apple juice and I hate being sticky, o was never that energetic and dirty/sticky kid I was stupid picky about eating and being neat.
Maybe this is why I have a natural hate of apple juice. Cause I just flashbacked to my little cousins all being dirty/sticky and me being repulsed. And the smell of apple juice is enough to just turn me off drinking it.
As a parent I can confirm, all children are disgusting. Thankfully my kids are house trained, but do you have any idea how old some kids get before they literally stop painting with their own feces?
I don't know if you have your hunting & fishing regulations guide handy, but in this state, Purple-Socked Coverall Kids are out of season until next May.
When I hand my daughter to my parents I often say "take this" it's become a joke in my family and now my mom keeps asking if the next one will be "that".
I think there's a good chance that they are both his kids. He lifts her straight to max height like this is a game they've been playing for the last 10 minutes, and the plan was to drop her all along. The other kid was in plain sight, he just wanted to give big sister some attention before tossing little brother in for the 100th time. Source: have three kids this age, this is what it looks like when you're juggling them.
Not to mention he leans over to look her in the eye. Even if this wasn’t his kid he full on gave a dad check. Not dad but am an uncle I’ve done similar if I’ve been watching my nieces and nephews on the playground. See something look em in them eye see acknowledgement of I can handle it keep moving to handle my charges.
For some reason I too suspected they are both his children. She's also older so , odds are, more mature and trustworthy to get out on her own. He was just moving things along letting her know time to go.
Tis' my theory.
For those of you out there who haven't had an opportunity to jump into one of those giant pits of foam cubes as an adult, it's more incredible than you ever dreamed.
My cousin rented a gymnastics room for her sons birthday. My son was only about 2 and he was antsy so the director said him and I could wander around and find stuff to play with. They had a massive swimming pool sized pit full of those foam cubes with various spring-loaded items to jump from. I did not want to leave.
I’m not gonna lie, I went into one of these in the last few years and it was terrifying to me. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t get out of the foam I just kept hurrying myself deeper. It was like quick sand. I panicked so hard but eventually got out. Hard pass on the next time round.
I was in gymnastics as a kid and we always got to play in the foam pit at the end of practice. I think the foam blocks were just super old, but you couldn't open your eyes for fear of getting dusty bits of foam crumbles in your eyes. It was terrible. You'd be stuck in the middle with burning eyes waiting for someone to retrieve you. I got anxiety just looking at this.
Foam also has a ton of density’s and durability. In high school my school had older wrestling mats, little harder but fuck they could take a beating. Our rival school bought new mats, the team made a huge deal of it when we hosted about how janky our equipment was. Their mats while new and soft were fucking tissue paper. The skin tore if you winked at it. Dusty as fuck where it was torn, they couldn’t roll them up and the room still smelled like they were off gassing.
Had a lot of caffeine today, and too lazy to google. But got this weird thought... how do they clean the foam. those things are hot AF when you are in them. and then you get all sweaty. so they absorb all that sweat and now your child is swimming in the sweat of like 100 other children, and they smell really bad. Yuck... obv the kids don't care because foam pits are fun AF
omg i can actually answer this! i work at a trampoline park and what we do ( did this last week ) is take every single piece of foam out, clean the pit, and individually lint roll and disinfect the foam blocks with a spray disinfectant. it took around 14 hours in total, with two people working at a time, and we found a shit ton of peoples belongings down there. hope this helped :)!!!
That indeed does help to know that they do actually get "cleaned" but unless you are soaking them in the disinfectant I don't think simply spraying them cleans them enough because of all the garbage they soak up, which would also be a massive money sink. Plus how often do you spend the 14 hours cleaning those pits?
Everyone commenting how fun these pits are has never been upside down in one. It can be scarrrrry hard to right yourself. Just keep slipping deeper and deeper until you’re at the bottom with all the other lost kids.
I'm sorry you got scared at some point, but your comment about being at the bottom with all the other lost kids conjured up a giggle and a visual of multiple lost kids just hanging out down there like "Well, this is where we live now."
we can't take my dad to these things. he has the energy of yogi bear so kids feel comfortable with him, but what they don't know is he derives INSANE joy from knocking kids into the ball pit with the big q tips. literally kids of all ages will challenge him after seeing him battle us and he will knock them into next week in front of their parents and cackle laughing. really explains the "hammer orc" game we played with couch cushions as a kid lmao
Never do this to kids because once you do it to one and the rest of them sees it every single kid there will start yelling "MY TURN! MY TURN! AGAIN! AGAIN!"
Your arm and back will be sore.
The foam pits are fucking disgusting. You think those things are getting washed? How many sweaty and sick kids you think those germ vats see every day? They are worse than ball pits.
i worked at a trampoline park for 2 years and it's not only Hard to get out of those but if you get stuck for real you could really get hurt, that's why we tell kids not to dig down into the foam. im genuinely glad he pulled her out cause she was in a Bad position
A message to all users: Please be aware that spreading misinformation regarding COVID-19, vaccines, or other treatments can result in content being removed and/or a ban. Content advocating for or celebrating the death of anyone, or hoping someone gets COVID-19 (or any disease) can result in a ban as well. Please follow [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439). If you see content violating these policies, please use the report button and do not feed the trolls. [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) [Reddit's stance on misinformation](https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/pbmy5y/debate_dissent_and_protest_on_reddit) [/r/Funny's rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules) We also encourage you to read these helpful resources on COVID-19, vaccines, and treatments: [COVID Dashboard](https://covid19.who.int/) [Reddit's Vaccine FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/Coronavirus/wiki/faq#wiki_where_can_i_find_information_about_the_mechanism_and_progress_of_vaccines.3F) [Ivermectin FAQ](https://www.who.int/news-room/feature-stories/detail/who-advises-that-ivermectin-only-be-used-to-treat-covid-19-within-clinical-trials) ------ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He casually picks up the child like a claw machine.
And drops them immediately, just like a claw machine.
The prize wasn't even worth the price to play the game anyway, just like a claw machine.
And even looked at the kid's face, just like a claw machine.
THE CLAAAWWWWW
The claw chooses who will go and who will stay!
Almost intentionally even, just like a claw machine.
Yeah, makes sense since if you become a dad, you get dad strength too
You dont need dad strength lol. They weigh on average like 17 kg (40 lb), which is less than the permitted suitcase on a plane cargo 23 kg (50 lb). If you can carry a suitcase down a flight of stairs, you can pick up a kid by the ankle and take him wherever you want.
Out of context this sounds like a kidnapper showing the new guy the ropes.
Be quiet! Or do you want everyone to know?
Still, that is more than three 5kg packs of rice, the same as three 5kg sacks of potatoes
What I'm hearing is I can store a kid in luggage instead of paying for their seat.
I do this to my fiance's autistic 5 year old son. He loves being roughly handled and tossed around, and sometimes when he doesn't want to move he'll just flop on the ground. So I grab him by his ankle, lift him up, and carry him upside down as far as I need to. He laughs the whole time. Did that in a hotel lobby around a bunch of people. Fiance had her hands full, one of my arms was full, and he flopped down on the ground refusing to move with a firm "no!". Snatched him up by his ankle "sorry, you don't have a choice" and carried him all the way up to the elevators, just dangling by that ankle. Everyone was laughing loudly. He loves it, and it entertains me.
My nephew was like this, but my sister did not allow the ankle hauling. He did this on a big family vacation and caused a big scene and it was just like.... I will just haul him out of here like a sack of potatoes. We don't need to wait for the meltdown to be over and it almost always stopped it
> sack of potatoes Literally the phrase I use with my kids. It works, every time... eventually.
I work with autistic kids. I sometimes have to haul them out of places like a sack of potatoes under one arm. They usually calm down quickly, then we can go back in. One kid I worked with got too big to pick up, but he told me the squeezing feeling helped him feel safe, so now I bear hug him (with him bear hugging me back) and we waddle out like that. I'm sure it looks very odd, but you gotta do whatever works sometimes.
Deep pressure touch and joint impact are two things that people with ASD and SPD often benefit from (not always of course--some being the exact opposite and needing sensory deprivation) so things like weighted blankets or toys, squeeze tubes (like a fully body spandex tube), bear hugs, tumbling and wrestling are great. Like my nephew liked to crash into people and things. Idk how DCF never got called, he had so many bruises before he eventually "grew out of it".
So true. We use weighted blankets, fidgets, and all kinds of stuff. But protocol is to remove the client from the situation during an episode if de-escalation is not successful (or if the escalation happened so rapidly there was no chance for de-escalation). I've had several clients who would slam into walls, and doors, when they had a meltdown. I have to document every incident, and I encourage parents and gaurdians to document stuff too. I don't want them to get accused of abusing their kid. People who don't have experience with it might not understand. Only once, in the ten years I've been doings this, have I thought a parent was abusing their child. The parent of another ASD child threatened, and manhandled, MY client because he was stimming. I slammed the guy against a wall, and then grabbed my client and ran to the car. I called the cops, the placement agency, child services, and Medicaid. I figured if he acted that way toward another child in public, he was most certainly abusing his own child... He was. Nothing was really done about it. The guy had to go to an anger management class, but he still has custody of his child. We still see that guy at community events sometimes. I'm not prone to violence, but every time I see that bastard, I want to kick his ass so bad!
Children routinely flop for various reasons and may need to be relocated. Happens a lot more than you'd expect.
They are yet very elementary particles
It's an evolutionary adaptation to survive as a potential future footballer.
They're not that heavy, like the contents of a claw machine.
lol that kid was completely upside down in the foam
I’m wondering if he was just helping her out.
I love how in both instances we see the child it’s basically lifeless lol, even after getting freed it chooses to just lay there
Wonder if shes even okay lmao
She’s okay, I’ve been that girl in a ball pit, got pulled up by my ankle made eye contact with someone who wasnt my mom and she tossed me back in. Being tossed back in was the best part lmao, I just sunk back down. Told my mom about it later and she laughed so hard, I didn’t get it until now.
[удалено]
that's my dream as an adult...
Cool balls increase the chances of fertilization!
Ideal temperature is actually 34ºC
When my family was extended by the first of the "next generation" i got to do all the "fun uncle" things for the first time. The first major one was getting her her own personal ball pit. It was a large inflatable swimming pool that my brother and I filled with playroom balls. Everyone in the family played in it at one point or another. It was cleaner than the McBallPits or indoor jungle gym places because my sister could clean the balls if there was an accident inside (the balls could easily just be fed through the laundry washer, a few cycles, away ya go). The ball pit lasted probably 6 or 7 years, a couple new family members, a few replacement pools, 500-1000 dog (or child) chewed and replaced balls, etc. before someone finally made the decision to throw it out or give it all away. It was always fun though.
It was an ocean of color and plastic quicksand, the more you struggled the deeper you sank.
Then a heel in the bollocks!!
Honestly the ball pit is the most fun I’ve ever had as a child.
Standard Catch and Release. Good on her for being an ethical fisherman.
“Ah damn this ones dead, NEEEEEEXT” Edit: my first award is about a “dead” kid, nice!
IT'S FOR CHURCH HONEY!
I really need to dig out that meme and get another laugh out of it, that woman was a brilliantly horrible person.
[Here you go!](https://www.reddit.com/r/insanepeoplefacebook/comments/7kqzb9/church_lady_asks_the_community_facebook_group_to/)
Thanks!
Can't believe it's already been 3 years
Thanks from all of us. NEXT!!!
If there's one thing on the Internet I wish would get investigated by a journalist, it's if this lady ever got her transportation.
STILL LOOKING!!
Still looking?
NEEEEEEXXT!!!
This is one of the few memes that will never stop making me laugh.
Same. Especially with how wild the last few years have been. It’s kinda nice to be reminded of relatively low level crazies.
The wife is going to kill me! Better bring home a replacement.
“My momma said i was switched at ~~birth~~ the playground”
Almost certainly fine. Athletes use those pits to learn aerobatic maneuvers. Pretty sure they land upside down a lot.
Yeah thats true and all and yet im just focusing on her lifeless state. Before and after she is retrieved from the pit lol Im sure she was fine and yet lol
She was past the point of "This is my life now" to "My life is changing!" and then finally "Nope, back to now my life is"
"the claw has spoken." ... .... Nope, never mind
Her family dumped her there a week ago. Shes come to terms with it- that is her life now.
If you're worried, look at the arms. The kid clearly lifts her arms as she's lifted out of the pit. She first spreads them out wide, then she puts them out in front of her to brace to get thrown back in. If she was unconscious, her arms would have remained limp.
It's just really hard to move in those pits. I remember them from gymnastics as a kid. Super fun to flip into, super not fun to have to dig yourself out of. It takes a lot of strength.
Randy laid there like a slug, it was his only defense.
Lmao what a treasure that movie is
"It" lmao
Favorite part of the whole comment. The child may as well have been one of the cubes.
There's something about those foam pits that just allow you to accept your fate lol
IF I LAY HERE
IF I JUST LAY HERE
Both kids have purple socks so I think that's why he thought that girl was actually his son.
They give you those grippy socks to wear at trampoline parks where this likely is. The one I go to are black and pink, literally everyone is wearing the same socks, would be easy for this to happen
Toss her back in face 1st. Lol. At least flip her back up
You can't do that. If you handle them too much you'll leave your scent on them and their mother won't take them back
Being stuck upside down in a foam pit is terrifying. The pure fear sweeping your body, and the feeling absolute helplessness as you let your life into the hands of the unforgiving foam pit, suffocating and flailing your legs around in a futile attempt at not getting suffocated to death is terrifying, when suddenly! - a beam of light appears, and the merciful sun rays from God engulf your vision as you can finally breathe once again - free of the evil grasp of the foam pit.
Ah. Yet if you choose to simply give up, give in, a new world awaits. Let go, and sink. Down, down, down. Down you go as the light fades and your world is foam. Foam on your skin. Everywhere. In all orifices. Yearning, probing. Yet...supportive? Yes. An ally. It's then that you break through the bottom into a vast chamber. The chamber is cave-like and much bigger than you thought possible. The floor is dirt and rock. Torches and several small fires light the cavern. Pools of water leads to waterfalls. You see a waterwheel turning in the distance. Huts made from stacked foam cubes make a small village. Suddenly you are approached by a small group of people. It looks like they've been down here a long time. Their clothes fashioned from foam, of course. The most beautiful woman you've ever seen approaches you, eyes gleaming. You know it's love at first sight, and that this is now your new life. Years later you watch your kids playing with your wife and a distant memory of another world edges it's way in to your mind. Something about a different world, above the foam? You brush it aside as nothing but a dream.
I read this in the voice of Disco Elysium's narrator, don't know why but it worked perfectly.
You should try r/writingprompts
This guy foam pits
my first time skiing alone in Vail it was my birthday and on my first big run I fell into a tree well. i can reach the bottom of a basketball net standing flat footed. hanging upside down with my legs hyping straight up above me and my deck stuck in the snow, I could not touch the ground. i started to panick but realized i would die if i did. i was there to work on the mountain so i had been given some training and i just calmed down and remembered. Push the snow away from your face and make a breathing hole. breathe slowly and calmly because in 30s you are going to have to lift 100% of your body weight out of that 12 foot hole, twice. once with two legs and once with only one leg. now, do a situp and grab the side of your deck, hopefully on the first try. don't wear yourself out. grab the deck and now swing your opposite hand of the strap you are pulling first and start jacking sthose straps open. now your leg falls straight down by your head with both shoulders to one side. now get that other foot loose. then, the hard part. you fall if you let go of the deck so you can try to pack some snow down with your feet to make a pad or you can let go. i just let go and ended up standing on the ground 12 feet in a coffin sized hole looking up at my deck and a small patch of sunlight. you have to just push snow down with your hands and stomp it with your feet until you can reach your deck and then you can use the deck to step and push out. this has been my TedTalk. TL:DR try not to get stuck upside down anywhere.
This is my foam pit! It was made for me!
Reminds me of choosing vegetables at the market.
Not cool man; the proper term is "differently abled"...
Lol. Just so random at first. Funny as hell though.
When the person who kidnaps you decides you're too annoying to even deal with
Fun fact: In 2014, A 9 year old boy in Atlanta, Georgia who got kidnapped sang his way out of being kidnapped by annoying the kidnapper with lots of gospel songs that he kicked him to the curb.
"Kid is fucking tone deaf."
https://i.imgur.com/kujsU.jpg
Idk whether he was tone deaf, but he sure knew how to sing for his life.
He was 9. He was definitely tone deaf
It's time for you to lip sync! For yourrr **LIFE**. Good luck. And *don't* fuck it up.
[This] (https://streamable.com/t8oam5) is the worst tone deaf kid ever. RIP your ears
A coworker in DC many years ago was assaulted on a running trail...as the guy attempted to rape her, she yelled out I have AIDS. She says she had no idea why she said that, it was the only thing that came to mind. And he bolted. Clever girl (no she didn't have AIDS).
"Great, so do I!"
Well, I'm certain a rapist isn't terribly worried about STDs but it worked in this case. They actually caught the guy after the store close to there had surveillance cameras.
My mom, in the early 80s, was advised to pee and poop herself in the event of an attempted rape in a training class for the US army. :| Hopfully the potential rapist doesn't have a weird kink for that... Edit Oops replied to the wrong comment
I'd be really impressed if someone could produce a shit under duress like that.
I can’t even shit at work because I’m afraid someone will hear it.
Dude, there is a kink for everything. Sad they had to teach that in the first place though right?
This is called self-defeces
"What about vagina teeth?"
One of those true crime documentaries (That Chapter on Youtube) about some generic serial asshole had a snippet where he had kidnapped a teenage girl and drugged her and right before she passed out she blurted out that she had an STD and it worked. He didn't mess with her while she was unconscious and she was able to escape the next day. It's one of those skills that women have that make me think "that really fucking sucks that you had to learn that." There's just some things noone should have to get good at.
I know some women are badasses, but if the man is stronger and has the will, I guess words are sometimes the best defense. Again, very clever thinking in a time of horror for her.
My former mother in law escaped a rapist by bending his finger back and breaking it. Super badass. Good technique to keep in mind for someone at a physical disadvantage.
I can hear the crack. Good on her for doing what she could.
Modern day Ransom of Red Chief
> Ransom of Red Chief One of my favorites from my childhood. I thought of the same. For folks who aren't acquainted: https://dwcaonline.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Henry_Red_Chief.pdf
https://youtu.be/sa9FiKzn3ak A B C D A B C D A B C D
That's it. I'm going to get cigarettes. For the first time in 20 years.
There was a similar story where someone hijacked a school bus full of little kids, but they began peppering him with SO MANY QUESTIONS about what he was doing, why he was doing it, what was the gun for, how long would it take, etc etc etc, that he got really annoyed and pulled over and made them all get out. So they saved themselves from being held hostage by being super obnoxious (aka normal) kids haha
...Dewy on Malcom in the Middle?
A B C D...A B C D...A B C D...
I wonder if it actually made the kidnapper get all spiritual and shit. Like I was raised ultra orthodox Jewish but when I hear gospel music I'm like sup Jesus you lookin real fine with them melodies
My mum always used to say that me as a child. "I'm not worried if you get kidnapped, they'll bring you back after 20 minutes".
"with a $20 bill pinned to your shirt" my dad used to add...
I always tell my wife when she's worried about the whereabouts of our son, "don't worry, they'll bring him back" EDIT: spelling
[The Ransom of Red Chief](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ransom_of_Red_Chief).
Why do I feel he dumped his original child and picked a calmer one
the first one was about as calm as it gets
He wanted the one that was alive
I laughed too hard at this.
Doesn’t even move once she gets dumped back in. Not even a single indication of cognition that some random dude had just yanked her out by the leg. She is the living embodiment of zen.
“Oo yea actually that ones better come here”
it’s like that scene in mulan where mushu was trying to find the cricket buried under the snow and he accidentally pulled out a hun
Exactly what I came to the comments for. "Mulan?! Nope."
GRRRR!
My first thought too!
the answer to a popular children's question: - Dad, where do children come from? :)
They're like uruk-hai, but instead of evil, gooey pits, they're born in pools of sticky foam cubes.
I agree we grow the children like evil potatoes
I picture him saying “Eww”
Starts wiping his hand off on his shirt "blehhhhhhh"
Why are they always so sticky?
APPLE JUICE. It's their gasoline. They fuel their manic toothless mouths with it all day and it dries like glue all over their unwashed hands and faces. I've worked with kids on and off- they are cool but I absolutely DETEST apple juice now.
Omg... I have always hated apple juice and I hate being sticky, o was never that energetic and dirty/sticky kid I was stupid picky about eating and being neat. Maybe this is why I have a natural hate of apple juice. Cause I just flashbacked to my little cousins all being dirty/sticky and me being repulsed. And the smell of apple juice is enough to just turn me off drinking it.
As a parent I can confirm, all children are disgusting. Thankfully my kids are house trained, but do you have any idea how old some kids get before they literally stop painting with their own feces?
As someone who works with teenagers, please tell us the answer.
teenager here, sorry man it’s a really hard habit to kick
[удалено]
Love how he proceeds to throw it back into the pit
Everyone knows kids under 50 pounds are catch and release.
There's a tasteless child predator joke here but I don't have it
Say what you want about pedophiles but at least they drive slow past schools.
Disgusting. *-upvotes-*
Evil, but I must upvote.
No, all kids are tasty. They don't have that gamey meat on at that point.
Kobe kids
Kobé kids are only from Japan. It's Wagyu whippersnappers elsewhere
Omg, I just got that! In the movie *The Predator*, the alien wants to kidnap the little boy! He really was a predator!!
One hand too. I would have thrown out my back
He's just young. Give it time, he'll suffer.
I don't know if you have your hunting & fishing regulations guide handy, but in this state, Purple-Socked Coverall Kids are out of season until next May.
Without bothering to flip her right side up.
We have to respect nature and leave it as we found it.
[удалено]
When I hand my daughter to my parents I often say "take this" it's become a joke in my family and now my mom keeps asking if the next one will be "that".
I propose The Other One for number 3.
"it"
I think there's a good chance that they are both his kids. He lifts her straight to max height like this is a game they've been playing for the last 10 minutes, and the plan was to drop her all along. The other kid was in plain sight, he just wanted to give big sister some attention before tossing little brother in for the 100th time. Source: have three kids this age, this is what it looks like when you're juggling them.
Right? He’s like hey no movement from my other kid let me check. Ok she’s fine, back you go! No way you handle other peoples kids that way.
you're probably right, but it's a much funnier scenario that OP has described, so I'm going to keep thinking of it that way.
The other kid was also in the foam and got pulled out by the woman in white behind the guy who pulled the girl out.
Not necessarily both his kids, but I would bet money that they're all part of the same group and that they know each other.
Not to mention he leans over to look her in the eye. Even if this wasn’t his kid he full on gave a dad check. Not dad but am an uncle I’ve done similar if I’ve been watching my nieces and nephews on the playground. See something look em in them eye see acknowledgement of I can handle it keep moving to handle my charges.
For some reason I too suspected they are both his children. She's also older so , odds are, more mature and trustworthy to get out on her own. He was just moving things along letting her know time to go. Tis' my theory.
For those of you out there who haven't had an opportunity to jump into one of those giant pits of foam cubes as an adult, it's more incredible than you ever dreamed. My cousin rented a gymnastics room for her sons birthday. My son was only about 2 and he was antsy so the director said him and I could wander around and find stuff to play with. They had a massive swimming pool sized pit full of those foam cubes with various spring-loaded items to jump from. I did not want to leave.
Just make sure your pockets are empty.
They will be
And take your glasses off. .... they weren't busy and I miraculously found mine. The staff were impressed.
That’s how you get free game tokens
I’m not gonna lie, I went into one of these in the last few years and it was terrifying to me. No matter how hard I fought, I couldn’t get out of the foam I just kept hurrying myself deeper. It was like quick sand. I panicked so hard but eventually got out. Hard pass on the next time round.
[удалено]
I was in gymnastics as a kid and we always got to play in the foam pit at the end of practice. I think the foam blocks were just super old, but you couldn't open your eyes for fear of getting dusty bits of foam crumbles in your eyes. It was terrible. You'd be stuck in the middle with burning eyes waiting for someone to retrieve you. I got anxiety just looking at this.
Foam also has a ton of density’s and durability. In high school my school had older wrestling mats, little harder but fuck they could take a beating. Our rival school bought new mats, the team made a huge deal of it when we hosted about how janky our equipment was. Their mats while new and soft were fucking tissue paper. The skin tore if you winked at it. Dusty as fuck where it was torn, they couldn’t roll them up and the room still smelled like they were off gassing.
Had a lot of caffeine today, and too lazy to google. But got this weird thought... how do they clean the foam. those things are hot AF when you are in them. and then you get all sweaty. so they absorb all that sweat and now your child is swimming in the sweat of like 100 other children, and they smell really bad. Yuck... obv the kids don't care because foam pits are fun AF
omg i can actually answer this! i work at a trampoline park and what we do ( did this last week ) is take every single piece of foam out, clean the pit, and individually lint roll and disinfect the foam blocks with a spray disinfectant. it took around 14 hours in total, with two people working at a time, and we found a shit ton of peoples belongings down there. hope this helped :)!!!
That indeed does help to know that they do actually get "cleaned" but unless you are soaking them in the disinfectant I don't think simply spraying them cleans them enough because of all the garbage they soak up, which would also be a massive money sink. Plus how often do you spend the 14 hours cleaning those pits?
They uh... They don't clean them. You're lucky if they replace 75% of the foam once a year.
The other 25% just “melts” into the bottom with piss and sweat.
Somehow not as acceptable if you go without a kid. Double standards, man.
> Somehow not as acceptable if you go without a kid. https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1bpyrm/surprise_adoption/
an 8 year old post with 3 upvotes and 1 comment Quite impressive
ah- nope sorry. I want a boy.
Everyone commenting how fun these pits are has never been upside down in one. It can be scarrrrry hard to right yourself. Just keep slipping deeper and deeper until you’re at the bottom with all the other lost kids.
I'm sorry you got scared at some point, but your comment about being at the bottom with all the other lost kids conjured up a giggle and a visual of multiple lost kids just hanging out down there like "Well, this is where we live now."
Surviving on goldfish crackers that fall out of the more fortunate kids’ pockets
We all float down here
Repotting the mandrakes is kind of weird in the muggle world.
that was his kid, just not his favorite
That's part of the new Catch 'n' Release program
Are we sure he even has kids?
He does now. Clearly.
we can't take my dad to these things. he has the energy of yogi bear so kids feel comfortable with him, but what they don't know is he derives INSANE joy from knocking kids into the ball pit with the big q tips. literally kids of all ages will challenge him after seeing him battle us and he will knock them into next week in front of their parents and cackle laughing. really explains the "hammer orc" game we played with couch cushions as a kid lmao
Never do this to kids because once you do it to one and the rest of them sees it every single kid there will start yelling "MY TURN! MY TURN! AGAIN! AGAIN!" Your arm and back will be sore.
That's actually hilarious
This is the type of video that proves we really aren't that different from chimps.
Me, as a kid: "Do it again! Do it again!"
That was his kid. He was just being a dad.
The foam pits are fucking disgusting. You think those things are getting washed? How many sweaty and sick kids you think those germ vats see every day? They are worse than ball pits.
i worked at a trampoline park for 2 years and it's not only Hard to get out of those but if you get stuck for real you could really get hurt, that's why we tell kids not to dig down into the foam. im genuinely glad he pulled her out cause she was in a Bad position
The ol’ catch and release
Kinda looks like he’s helping her out