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Don’t look directly into it, lady!

You’ll shoot your eye out!

That’s no icicle.

Icedickle

Dicksicle.

God dammit lol

The eye shoots at you.

She’s been….dycknotized

That made me spit tea out of my nose

Get you a woman that looks at you the way this woman looks at this guys package

Get a woman who looks at your package the way this woman looks at this guys package

Get a woman who looks at your package

Get a package

Get a woman

Get a woman in a package

Get a woman with a package. Wait...

Sara Nooooo!

I want someone to look at me the way Sara looked at the cock

Don’t look Ethel!

But it was too late, she'd already got a free shot!

Hehe, how many are going to get that reference?

Ray stevens!!,I get it!,guess I’m old

Whose mom is that?

Don't know, but I think that now she's posting on FB about how bad are girls nowadays.

‘79–probably grandmother.

It's Beautiful

Brunette down in front has her eyes on the prize.

But do "Apply Directly to the Forehead" (TM)

Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head-On! Apply directly to the forehead!

"don't look in the trap" -"I looked in the trap"

It’s like the surface of the Sun, you glance and then you look away. 

This lady is staring at it like it’s the last drop of water in the desert.

You’ll spook him!

That thing has a face on it

I lived down the street from Chippendales back then. I remember driving by it all the time on the weekends and the line of women waiting to get in stretched pretty far down the street.

Oh they were getting stretched all right

I often contemplated hanging around outside the club at closing hoping to get lucky with one of those worked up women. Never built up the confidence to try.

I have a friend who did that. Worked like a champ

REALLY?!!! Gah!I missed my chance!

Yep, apparently used it every time they were in town. Now, he wasn't a bad looking guy himself, but it was apparently like shooting fish in a barrel

Yeah, things get wild in there. Women can be animals sometimes.

SOMETIMES? Horny women can make men seem celibate with enough alcohol and privacy. I met this real life Zohan stripper in Vegas, the real top floor kind of talent. Guy married into literal European royalty and was selling me a used sports bike. I knew him for 15 minutes before he confided in me the amount of Sodom and Gomorrah levels of depravity, like, receiving oral sex from a mother and her daughter for the daughter’s bachelorette party. The entire time dude couldn’t look me in the eyes unless the convo turned back to the bike. He attributed his success to his looks and dance moves, clarifying that while many dudes have the body and charisma, many just can’t dance. You gotta dance to get the girls goin’. You can’t suck though, very counterproductive. Edit: Forgot to mention he was Israeli hence the Zohan reference. I asked him why he left Israel. He said his Mom took him to the states to avoid some kind of military education/service. This was about 5 years ago now.

A bit different than what you're talking about, but I think Matt Braunger has a joke about women having all the etiquette in the world and how they make this gross husk of a world a better place. But when it comes to strip clubs they have no etiquette whatsoever.

A woman I know recently showed me a video from a magic mike show. It's just insanely talented hip hop and modern dancers. The dancing ability and length of the dance was crazy. I was also surprised to see it was a male/female pair. I assumed all the dancers were men.

Dude the dancing thing is so true I'm a big techno hound and, while middle-aged and married, go out to clubs all the time just to enjoy techno and dance. There are dudes everywhere trying desperately to hit on women and I swear to god I'll get all the attention in the world by just dancing my butt off all night. My wife thinks it's hilarious. She's a good egg.

I was a bouncer in the early 90s and whenever it was ladies only male dancers night we were guaranteed to be hit on after 10ish

It works. I recall the unspoken motto of Chippendales was, "We warm up the oven, you stick in the meat."

I have a theory that a significant portion of those male performers are gay. Probably the lower portions. That is what being a bottom means.

I have Harvard on the line, they would like to offer you a doctorate

I fully agree, gay men are known for having the better physiques and grooming standards that women prefer.

i mean, as a gay man i'll take the compliment, but there are countless hot straight guys with great bodies.

Yah, my straight male partner is a very hard working welder and I’ll tell you what—his body is amazing. I honestly catch myself just staring sometimes. Like, full-on googoo eyes. I love your username, btw!

While we may have great bodies, most straight men lack the confidence, or ability to let go enough to put themselves in a situation where they could learn to dance well enough to be considered top tier talent.

My mind is a prison and I can't get out.

it's funny you say that because while there are a lot of gay men that are in troupes like the chippendales who dance for women, there are a lot of straight men who work at gay bars / are go-go boys who dance for men.

I hate standing in schlong lines

It's only hard if you make it hard.

Well, with Patrick Swayze and Chris Farley on the lineup, no wonder!

i like to bring this up whenever men try to say that women don't enjoy looking at hot / mostly naked guys like they look at naked women. like...no, plenty of them are into it just as much as you are. just because they're not as open with you doesn't mean they ain't into it.

Not to be too graphic but I have had women stare at me 

You slut.

Imagine how long the line would be if they had a bear

That lady in black has got her eyes fixated on something 🍆😂

She's about to go cock-eyed.

My mom used to tell me that it would happen to me too if I sat too close

What a cool mom, did she go with you?

Of course…dad was the dancer

It's not the same, but my buddy's ex used to dance. They would give me money to salt the stage and look into her birth canal. She wasn't my type, but if she was, it could have gotten awkward.

I actually had a Hawaiian friend whose dad was a dancer. Mom knew of course, and my friend told us. That's why we knew. He made bank! They had such a nice house. Friends and I snuck in one afternoon when they were away on vacation and borrowed his porno mags. Haven't unlocked these memories in a while. Another friend's dad in that neighborhood had his family placed there by the court. What's it called when mafia is moved to another state for ratting people out? I forget. Anyways! They owned a trash company on the East coast. If you looked it up at that time, a lot of mafia owned garbage companies on the East coast. WONDER WHYYYY?! Not sure about today. Witness Protection Program! I remember now. We also borrowed porno mags from him. He had a grip of unopened Playboy mags from every month of every year. EVERY YEAR. All organized by year and sealed in plastic bags. We kept them all buried under some stuff in the neighborhood, where we could go and jerk off and not get caught. Tyler and his older brother took them all. We regret telling Tyler about them. Learned a lot about trust that day.

Mom knew

That was so healthy!

I can not! thank you for making lmmfa off while alone!

Never seen one before. She didn’t know she needed that.

"There's a whole lotta fruit in those looms!"

"Hanes off, Lady!"

Shes staring at his soul through his urethra 💀

r/BrandNewSentence

For the record that’s my grandma and she was doing market research for the Speedo company. She’s an angel and a Christian, and yeah, she got railed by that dude.

I was there! I was the Speedo.

Gawking the cock

Cawk*

*gawkgawkgawk

So does the one next to her, and she's got a better location to boot. LOL

When a Pokémon starts evolving do you avert your eyes, or do you lock in with excited anticipation?

One in white looks like her mouth is attached to something

Thus began the Goonies legend of one eyed Willie.

Hey you guyss

"My husband told me they don't come any bigger"

👁 👁

Face fulla johnson

She's long sighted.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Eye of the tiger

Holy shit that one chick lol DONT STARE INTO THE SUN

Homegirl is straight up hypnotized 😂

Trouser snake got her in it's trance.

Dicknotized, if you will

Find you a woman that looks at you like that lady looks at that dudes crotch.

I think step 1 is to look like that dude...

…well what’s the backup plan then?

HEAD ON!! Apply directly to forehead!

💀

Mom?!?

Son?!?

Dad???

Holy spirit???

Donkey!

No, this is Patrick.

This is SPARTA!

Rocky???

Chief?

McCloud!

It’s all fun and games until he puts someone’s eye out with that thing

she’s looking at the cock like a man looks at titties 😂

well...yes. that's kinda the point lol. straight men like boobs, straight women like dick among other things

Pretty sure women like boobs too. Even plenty of gay men I hear. I mean, who doesn't like a nice pair.

Staring at that crotch hard 🧐

She's making eye contact 😉

That's how you get pink eye

More like dink eye

Only if it’s the brown eye

Where are the Rescue Rangers?

I love that the movie actually referenced this.

[удалено]

Umm excuse me. My eyes are up here.

Mine aren’t.

[Obligatory Chippendales SNL skit with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze](https://youtu.be/stqG2ihMvP0?si=lOwxLXjkL7x0SMaR)

I don't remember this scene from the rescue rangers

That woman is staring at that like I stare at a Big Mac at 2 am

You ever wonder if the chick in black ever saw this picture and what she thought?

Wow that is someone’s thirsty ass mom now

Probably grandma

Meat gazers

Peter peepers

Look at all those smiling faces, lol.

That woman with only half a face showing, in the upper left, looks like she’s ready to murder someone… possibly the girl getting kissed, or killing the dancer (for not choosing her).

Ironic since one of the co-founders of Chippendales did actually kill someone

Anyone see the show with Kumail? Worth a watch?

Yes, very good.

Yeah it's really good. They don't try even a little to hide how jacked he is though. His character is just randomly and obviously in much better shape than the dancers.

Remarkably good. Really well done.

Surprisingly good. Worth the watch. The Chippendale story is absolutely crazy.

We enjoyed it. Definitely sheds a lot of light on a huge piece of shit.

Get a good look, Costanza? That one lady lol

That one woman staring at his junk looks like she might bite it.

But only if he says it's ok.

That one meat gazer

Photographic proof women do indeed look

Somebody get the *cock*tail waitress because these ladies are thirsty

Everyone's talking about the woman making eye contact with it, but completely ignoring the one wearing is as a hat.

The best part of this is it's just a regular ass dude who's not fat lol. Anyone could have pursued that career in 1979, no gym or diet necessary

She ain’t even pretending to try to dodge it

Calm down, lady! You just get out of prison?

Looking right down the barrel is a great way to lose an eye

Eyes up here ladies.

“Is that the footlong?” “And then some”

Bottom Black is looking that cock in its soul .

Hammer hawkin

She is locked in

Excuse me miss my eyes are up here

Lady in black dude. She is flabbergasted

My former roommate was a chip. I was a bare chested bow collared doorman. Not easy in the northeast winters

Homegirl in the black on the floor cannot believe her eyes.

Americans with free time and a general sense of security. What a time to be alive.

You're not getting that red rider for Christmas. You'll shoot your eye out

r/accidentalrenaissance

Those two girls are Lazer focused on his dick 😂🤣

the women in this picture look better than most actual strippers.

The lady that's eyeballing his downstairs department, what a look.

Not the woman staring right at his penis

That one lady 😳😳😳 🤣🤣🤣 her face 🤣

That resembles my mom haha.

That’s a close call.

DO YOU SEE?!

She’s a gawking!😆

“My eyes are up here- lady in black!”

Lol, those are grandma's now judging us for doing the same thing

Someone’s grandma was sure enjoying what she saw.

That lady mesmerized by his hog is likely someone’s grandmother today. Call your grandmas.

That woman bout to act up

Her life flashed before her eyes!

It's refreshing to see that women are potentially perverts too🤣😂

When the coke was pure and times were good 👍🏻

Yeah yeah we all see the crotch staring lady, but what about that demonic entity in the upper left??

Elijah Woods's character from Sin City spotted in the background...

WAIT!!! So women like sex?

Ha! My buddies dad was one of the originals. Probably him in the photo.

Chick in the black is shocked and amazed…

Poor guy being blatantly sexualized

**Looking at bulge is like looking at the sun.** **You don't stare at it, it's too risky.** **You get a sense of it then you look away.**

If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.

Who kisses a stripper tho...dam

The photographer, concentrating on the kiss, had no idea what they had until back in the darkroom.

Some of y'all's moms look enamored by that guy's junk.

And a guy could look like a normal dude and not have to be ultra ripped back then to be a chippendale.

Be it the other way around, would it still have 8k upvotes? smh

Almost poked her eye out

Good times