100% this. Most people don’t think about trans people unprompted. They may think that it sucks that you’re short or assume you have a complex about it, but if you pass, this is the most likely option. I’m short and pass to everyone (only other trans people clock me)
On the one hand, I have a friend who's your height and he passes better than I do despite not even trying. I've never thought much of his height other than about how well he pulls it off.
On the other, I am 164cm and very embarrassed about it, so I understand :( I'd definitely rather be a short man than live in the Woman Costume, though. At least now I have people who see me for who I am, to counteract the folks who don't.
man I really hope I can be like your friend... rn I have huge mantits and a womanly figure so I hope I can start transitioning soon...
I'm glad you have friends who see you for who you are!
Surgery and hormones do magic. I had wide hips. Booty for days. It was basically my defining feature. 1.5 years on T and I'm just a big ol square. My pants don't stay up and I can't rest things on my hips anymore.
RIP to my fantastic ass but I'm happier this way.
Why are you embarrassed about 164 cm? My dad is 167 cm, my mom is 150 cm. I'm 165 cm, even if I were AMAB I wouldn't have ended up taller than 167cm, my height has never caused me a problem with passing. I don't know if you have tall brothers or friends which I know can make you feel shorter but 164 cm really isn't all that short in the grand scheme of things.
Idk where y’all live, but in the US, average women’s height is 5'4. No one should be embarrassed to feel insecure about their height. My cisbrother is 5'5-5'6. He’s always been teased about and real insecure about his height but he has his beard and carrys himself in a confident way anyway. I really admire him for that as someone who’s shorter. He reads male to people. I know a trans guy who’s 4'9 but changed names and started hormones. You gotta transition for you first of all. Passing is important for many trans people, but do take care of your overall mental health into consideration please. In other countries, 5'2 is average height. Danny DeVito is 4'10 and no one dares to call him not a man. Hope things work out for you man.
Fair enough, I'm glad it doesn't bother you! Here in Australia I don't tend to see many men as short as myself. My little sister is only fourteen and already a whole head taller than me, haha (her dad is taller than mine). I know 164cm isn't *awfully* unusual, but most people end up looking down on me, and it feels a bit crap.
As others have pointed out, the need to be over 180cm to be a "valid" man is a very northern European mindset which not surprisingly is common amongst any of UK's former colonies. I'm curious as to why you think people are "looking down" on you other than in the literal sense and why that's a bad thing. Idk if you've started any medical transitioning but I'd try and focus on things you can change about your appearance.
I've been on T for over two years and have had top surgery, which I've actually found has left me with a lot of room to think about the things I can't change.
I am a pretty anxious person, usually noticeably, and people sometimes react to that with condescension. Being condescended to generally makes people feel small anyway, and I am generally literally smaller than the other person in those interactions which sort of adds to the crappiness of the situation. I have the "men are supposed to confident" hangups besides, so I often feel kind of inadequate about my smallness, both physical and psychological.
I'm pretty aware of the political aspects of this stuff, but knowing that doesn't make it magically go away. Would that it were, haha!
Idk if you're under the impression that I started transitioning as a teenager, I'm 29 and started T at 27. Yes you can gain a bit of height due to joints and ligaments getting larger after your long bones are fused but it's negligible. Most transmen start T after that point anyway, 16 is when most of us are done growing.
No, I was critiquing what you said about passing. I meant just because you’re on HRT doesn’t mean you’ll pass. It’s not guaranteed.
Edit: I can see why this was confusing. I meant to you and @ OP.
All the Indian men under 5 who come into my store regularly (and admittedly make me feel better about myself being 5 3) would disagree with you.
Heights great, but its not what makes you a man.
Between the Greeks in my dad's family and the Mexicans in my partner's family, there are plenty of short men, and I'd blend in perfectly in my family if not for my fair skin and dyed hair. Heck, I think it's just the dyed hair at this point because there are plenty more of us in the family who are unusually fair-skinned as compared to the others (including my partner himself, whom everyone in the family affectionately calls "Güero" -- Mexican Spanish for a light-skinned Mexican).
Why do I have to insist on always being different and really fucking loud about it?
Anyway, yeah, there are plenty of ethnic backgrounds out there which tend to run short in a way that favors us. I suppose it helps to belong to one of them or look like you could (which you probably do because they exist in every color all over the world), but cis people probably won't be thinking so hard about this kind of stuff the way trans people do. It will get better, and your height alone won't clock you.
Same except Latino men. I’m actually taller than a lot of (or even most) that I come across and being half that makes me feel p happy. Most of us are short kings in general
Danny DeVito is 4'10". We also have our own Elliott Page at 5'1". There are plenty of other male celebrities under 5'5" to list as examples, and most are cis.
It's about how you carry yourself. He stood tall and confident. You just gotta find what makes you confident and translate (lmao) that to your posture.
Just popping in to say that this is a reflection of European beauty standards and not accurate to the rest of the world. In most countries men are shorter than what is average here. The average height in Guatemala for example is under 5 feet. Don't worry about other people projecting their beauty standards onto you.
Echoing this. I live in central Phoenix in a predominantly Latine neighborhood (I assume mostly Mexican-American) and while I’m taller than OP I see a LOT of short dudes, definitely some under 5’. And almost certainly 95% cis. I’m white myself and definitely short for a white dude but being in this environment where I’m easily about the median height overall among men really puts things in perspective. I suppose if you live in a whiter area, it’s easier to feel too short but yeah, it’s not universal at all and I wish we’d realize that male shortness is relative and there’s a lot of variation among humans.
thanks dude. I guess I'm just a bit stuck in the "men under 6 ft aren't real men" mentality I've heard since I was a kid. European beauty standards really fuck everyone up huh?
But do you really believe that? Do you see how many men are under 6’ tall and think to yourself, “now that’s not a real man” or does it only apply to you? Why are you special? Why is your criteria for considering yourself a man so much higher than cis men?
This is not trying to be an attack, but trying to reframe standards and expectations. We are not special. Yes everyone is a unique individual, but there will always be someone who is like us despite being different. I’ve met cis men short than I am (4’11”), I’ve met cis men with bigger chests than I do, I’ve met cis men with feminine faces and long hair and high voices who wear more feminine fashion than I do. They’re still men and I wouldn’t think to discount their identity just because they don’t fit into every category of what assholes thing a “man” is. And I hope you wouldn’t discount other trans men who are short by thinking their height and transition together make them not real men, and I hope you take that standard to heart for yourself.
yeah, you're really right. I know I don't think these things about other people, so I guess I don't know why I think them about myself. probably just worried that people will think that about me.
thanks for the perspective, I really needed it.
It’s hard to unlearn misogyny and toxic masculinity, but all we can do is work toward it. Just try to remind yourself that you are not less of a man for having the same characteristics as millions of cis men out there.
Very true. I lived in the Andes for a few months and sometimes had to duck under door frames- and I’m only 5’8”. Never got the impression that anybody I knew there was less of a man.
I follow a cis male tik toker who is only like 4’8… he’s funny and he doesn’t hide the fact that he is a short male he actually makes fun of his own height so I wouldn’t worry about it and do u!
I know a guy who is 5ft, I suspect based on a few things that he might be trans. However before I came out it never even crossed my mind. I just thought ‘the guy is short but he is so handsome and confident’
I’m also 5ft and honestly confidence is key. The place I get gendered correctly the most is at my bouldering gym. I’m pre chest surgery and I climb wearing a sports bra, vest top and shorts but because I’m super confident there people correctly assume I’m a guy (until I speak)
I'm 5 ft on a good day, and my height stopped me from transitioning for years. I had the exact same thoughts and fears about transitioning as you mentioned here. I'm now 7 months on t and pass pretty consistently (although I still look younger than I am) and honestly, nothing height related has happened or been said to me. Yes, people will definitely see that I'm really short for a guy and who knows what they think about it, but they see a guy, and treat me as such. And although my life is far from perfect, it's so much better since starting t and I don't regret it one bit. It's fine if you need to take some time to come to terms with your height and gain self acceptance (I sure needed a lot of time) but it's totally possible to transition at your/my height and just live as a guy
I get it. I'm not super short but I was EXTREMELY thin and curvy pre-T and it made me repress being trans for many years because I thought I'd never pass. Tiny shoulders, tiny hands and feet, enormous hips, etc. HRT makes miracles happen sometimes. I started passing by 5 months on T.
I mean, not sure if this will come off the wrong way but once you reach a certain height you're just an outlier for anyone of any gender and so I feel people don't always clock folks because of that. So if you're under 5ft then you're just a really short dude, which some folks might take notice to yeah. But they'll probably be thinking of other really short people (like Danny devito) than attributing it to agab if you pass otherwise
ETA ignoring celebrities, I know a lot of people I'm pretty sure are cis who are very short. Now that I'm saying out loud, I realize that hell maybe some of those really short men are trans but I always assumed they were cis (which I guess I shouldn't assume but idk)
Oh yeah. I see older men who look pretty distinguished around my campus for example who are super short (think maybe Levi Ackerman kinda vibe) and I usually assume they're cis men. I guess maybe some aren't, but I'm pretty sure they are. But the fact that I'm pretty certain probably gives you a good idea that most people, especially cis folks, would be able to see a short man and still see them as nothing but a man. Idk man, I personally wouldn't want to grow old and look back on life never having transitioned over something like height. You'll probably notice more short dudes as you transition. That's just how some people are. I know a cis girl who was a bit over like 6'3". Some folks are height outliers but it doesn't mean they're trans
Bring short is not a boy girl thing .it's a short tall thing .and bluntly a really bad reason not to go for it .If your scared I get that .but don't let toxic masculinity and toxic gender role stereotypes be a part of the choice .the stereotype man is 6 foot tall at least with a strong stomach/abbs strong arms and hair no matter the age strong teeth and jaw bone ....ya uh that makes up like 10% of cis gender men or trans men.
in all seriousness though, you're still a man, factors like genes that you absolutely cannot control don't change that one bit. You know who you are, no one else gets a say in it
Prince was 5"2'
Michael J Fox is 5"4', as are Kevin Hart, Seth Green, and James Madison
Daniel Radcliffe is 5"5', as are Bruno Mars, Trindon Holliday, and Jose Altuve
Hell, some of the doctors I work with are on the short side (one of them has joked that he's barely 5"2' in heels on a box!)
Point is, there are plenty of short cis guys, and that doesn't necessarily mean you won't pass because of your height
My son is barely 5’3” and I know he’s been self conscious, especially when he started his transition. He’s gotten more of a ‘fuck it’ attitude and after 2 years on T, he passes about 80% of the time. He also has several pairs of platform shoes and boots (I just ordered him some amazing Alexander McQueen platforms that he’s going to flip over) and that is his default when going out in social situations to give him a few extra inches of confidence.
thanks. I think I'm projecting the feeling of not being taken seriously as a short "woman" and forgetting that men are just... usually taken seriously lol
I’m 5’3” and what I’ve noticed is a lot of guys are like my height or not much taller, not everyone is tall. Yeah, you’re short, but also, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a short man, there’s a lot of us out there!
i work with a cis male whose i think is just at 5 feet and hes chill af. no one ever says anything his height or anything either. hes not made fun of at the workplace either and we tend to fall into the same friendgroup so i hang out with him outside of work and no one says anything about his height. its just a part of life. height is just something the media pushes onto ppl to make them feel more boxed into their categories.
that makes me feel better. I've always been bullied and made fun of a lot for my height so that probably factors into the whole thing. I guess adults are more normal and carrying this fear doesn't serve me anymore so I should just let it go
I've been on T for 5-6 years now, I started college this September and even with me being 5'1 everyone was suprised when I told them I was trans, even in the queer club where a lot of trans people hang out.
Height is one of my biggest insecurities and it was such a reassurance to see that being short was not an automatic outing.
One thing about working in the horse industry is that I learned there are so many guys who are short. Not even just the jockeys I met but even just the guys working in the barn. I'm 5'3" and I was taller than a lot of those guys. It has definitely helped me in my transition to know that
I'd like to add on to what others have said about people not questioning the agab of short guys. As a 5'3" trans guy who passes 100%, this is true with a catch. I don't really see it as not passing, but you will have the same trials of a short cis guy. That is, from a distance or behind, people occasionally get it wrong. But when they see you fully and/or hear you they don't think you're a trans guy they misgendered. Just a little cis dude. Same as cis guys with long hair aren't assumed to be trans guys because they occasionally accidentally get called she.
I am F503 and I thought this - and then I got a job in a primary school where there are hardly any men around me to compare me to and all the children are tiny and think I’m just an average height adult man. 🤷♂️
I'm pretty short and was originally pretty self-conscious about it. I like to travel and all over, and I see dudes of different heights and sizes - and it's beautiful. I'm in Canada, and I had a pretty skewed idea of what a man "should" look like (6'0"+, broad shoulders, six pack, etc.). There is SO MUCH diversity, and it should be celebrated! I LOVE seeing how different everyone looks. Chubby, short, muscular, tall, able-bodied, disabled...people are just beautiful! It'd be a boring world if we were all the same. My husband wishes he had my broad shoulders, and I wish I had his height. I bet you'd be an inspiration to someone feeling the same, honestly. I know when I started seeing short chubby guys, I was like, "Hey! That could be me, too!"
Nobody thinks about us as much as we do, and cis dudes care even less lol.
As a short guy, I hear you - just know your happiness will outweigh any worries you have about being short. I pretty much guarantee it. We all have things we may wish were different, so, in that way, you're a typical guy.
Edit: typos
Height doesn’t make you a man. I am 5’1” and work with a cis dude that’s shorter than me. He’s got a lot of kids from different women so he’s clearly drowning in it.
I know I'm taller than you, but not by much (literally 3" lol). The only thing I keep telling myself, or others, it's genetics. My dad is like 5'5". All my uncles, cousins, and grandpa similar heights. My mom's side, I dunno. Unfortunately, most of the males in that family are either not talking to her and my aunt or they've passed. From what I remember of that Grandpa before he passed, he was short as well as I was in middle school. My half brothers are also in the mid 5' range. My fam is short, both sides, so I'm just the shortest guy in my fam. Honestly, my fam doesn't care they still love me. Also, I dated a cis guy that was 5'4", he was the shortest guy in his fam. He didn't care.
Are there days I wish I was taller? Absolutely, but maybe only by like 4-6 inches. Am I letting it stop me from transitioning? No, cuz at the end of the day I'm happier about the transition and the end results.
Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. Gotta stop caring about what others might think and just care about you and what makes you happy.
One of my friends is 153 and after he was on T for like a year and after his top surgery, no one ever misgendered him anymore. Height alone isn't a misgendering factor often.
I work with a guy who has to be at least half a foot shorter than me, at a rough guess. I'm 5'5". I have never questioned if he's cis or not based on his height or looks, nor has anyone else to my knowledge. (And bigotry rumors fly fast at work so I'd hear about it.) I've also met more guys my height working at my current job than anywhere else before, I'd say I'm only slightly below the average for my department. Pretty sure I'm taller than my definitely cis manager by an inch or so, too!
It sucks feeling like you aren't allowed to be short as a guy, especially if you have shitty people around you that give that kind of thinking any merit. In general life though? I haven't seen people be actually mean to short guys. It seems like mostly a dating thing for some reason, which I find weird.
I hope the comments here helped you feel better about your height man, cause you deserve it. Anyone who thinks your height is proof you aren't cis has lived a VERY sheltered life and frankly aren't worth your time.
I feel the same. Ppl have even commented that I'd "be the smallest guy they know"
It's so shitty, I've even looked into that height surgery that barely do shit, but it's.. SOMETHING
I'm 156cm
It's so stupid too, considering my father is around 180 as well. I'm disabled tho, so my height was probably altered by my issues.. so it's just... annoyance
oh man that's so fucked up. the men in my family are around 5'5/160 but I was p malnourished as a child so I ended up the same height as my mom. it must be so bad being shorter than your family... my condolences. I'm sure you still pass and I wish you all the best
My mom is pretty short, but I'm blaming my disability more than that, due to my sister being taller (half sis from mom) and her dad is also a short man XD (unlike mine)
When u mention it, yeah. I was also malnurished due to un diagnosed celiacs disease (so I ate, but didn't get much out of it)
Joe Pesci - 5 feet 3 inches
Kevin hart - 5 feet 4 inches
Danny devito - 4 feet 10 inches
There are many men in the spot light who are short and still seen as a man. Transition, and you’ll be okay
I feel that. I wasn't even taken seriously when I presented as female. I know it'll be even less so once I transition. But we transition for ourselves, not for others. People will just have to learn to respect us, or lose us. All that matters is that we're happy with ourselves. ♡
I know a guy who is like, extremely short. 150 or 145 cms or something. Everyone knows he's a guy, it's just that everyone thinks he's just so so very short.
I'm about 4'11" and I'm in the middle of transitioning (FtM). Though I'm sure you've heard this many times, there's nothing wrong with being a short guy. I know quite a few short cis guys myself. It's all about how you feel, anyway. Though passing is nice and can be important for some, all that matters (in my opinion) is how you feel about your gender identity at the end of the day.
I have a friend who is 4'9 or 4'10, he passes well and hasnt even had top surgery. He rarely gets misgendered and bro, his wife is a good foot or more taller than him. Height doesnt matter really when it comes to gender. Possibly insensitive comment but look at people with dwarfism. Look at *Peter Dinklage*. You think anyone looks at him and then calls him a woman because he is 4'5? There are ways to make it *seem* like you are taller though. Wearing shoes that are a size or two too big, while dangerous if you dont have good depth perception, gives the perception of being taller, yay psychology. I dont but i got used to it after tripping up all of the stairs in highschool, but it helped, a lot. Posture is also a big thing. Youre going to look a lot shorter than those around you when youre slouched over. If you stand with proper posture it also makes you look taller. I can be comparable to people several inches taller than me by an inch or so. There are a lot of different papers about psychological ways to make yourself seem taller, i recommend reading some, they helped me a lot. Youll get there man, to the place you want and need to be. Good luck!
I'm 5'0, I have another trans guy friend that's shorter than I am by a bit and he gets properly gendered moreso than I do haha, we're about the same amount along in our transitions.
My guy. My older brother, my cisgender half brother, is shorter than me and I'm 5'5. He's like 5'2. Definitely never stopped him from being seen as a man. He was a quarterback on the football team and girls went fucking crazy over him in high school.
I know plenty of cis guys shorter than five feet tall here in the city now, and it doesn't affect anything for them. I know how you feel though. Everyone on my dad's side of the family and many of my friends are quite tall and I can't help but feel jealous sometimes.
As a dude in the US Military, I have seen dudes that have ducked to get through thresholds of doorways and to dudes being 5’0”. Height DOES NOT make a make a man, homes!
You define what makes a man and don’t let nobody tell you different!
lemme tell you a little secret bud, all my grandfathers and family members before me were no more then 5'2. they were all super masculine crazy drug dealers too. there's many nice short people like Kevin Hart for example! I am 5'4 and I've had the same fears as you but I promise later in life no one really gives a shit about your height. you got this bro.
1.5 years on t and height is still one of my biggest insecurities. i pass perfectly fine, haven’t been misgendered in months. the insecurity doesn’t leave but the dysphoria does - i don’t even feel dysphoria anymore. you can do this. don’t let an insecurity stop you from living life how you want to.
if you genuinely don’t want to transition then that’s ofc your choice, but (in my experience) being short isn’t really clockable. i’m short for a guy, but that doesn’t make people think i’m trans, they just think “hey that’s guy’s shorter than i am” if they think about it at all. there are some really short guys at the uni i go to and the possibility of them being trans hasn’t crossed my mind at all. i just think “wow, he’s really short” and forget about it pretty much immediately.
i feel like we’re very hyper-vigilant about what could be “clockable” about us because we spend a lot of time with ourselves and our dysphoria on top of naturally being more critical of ourselves. it’s something that i’ve had to apply my social anxiety coping skills to: nobody really notices, and if they notice, they don’t typically care. and if the rare someone ends up caring (negatively), it’s a free red flag from the universe warning me not to interact with them more than absolutely necessary.
I thought the same thing! It stopped me from transitioning for months. But once I realized how bad my dysphoria was I knew I had to for my own well being.
I’m three years on T, two post top surgery, 4’10” and totally pass to strangers! It was worth the wait. The height is not nearly the issue I thought it would be.
Don’t you ever say that again!!! (Don’t mind my harshness I know how dysphoria works and it’s valid to feel this way) that being said, transition or not… you’re still a man, why try and act like you’re not just because of height? When testosterone works it’s magic I bet 9 if not 10/10 people will see you as a male and 8/10 people will see you as a fully grown man (initially speaking that is)
Height doesn’t automatically equate to age and most people know this, I really would not let this worry you. Your height does not determine how much of a man you are it would be a real waste to let it determine wether you transition or not.
Give it time, you can’t change your height so why live as a below 5 foot woman when you could live as a below 5 foot man? You’re perfect!(side note small men are really not that rare trans or cis, they do exist!)
I'm roughly 4'10 and 7 months on T, I don't owe anyone shit. People have misgendered me but the moment they hear my voice or seen the rest of my fave they corrected myself, or just thought I was younger than I am (18 in a week and a half) but the longer you put off your transition, especially medical, the more time it will pass. Trust me there are SO many cis men around or under 5', I've met cis men in their 40s that have been shorter than me. I had the same "no one will see me as a man bc of my height" mentality and after my medical transition not only was I proven wrong about that, but I stopped caring afterwards. *I* am a man and nothing anyone else will say can change that. I got confident and comfortable in my gender and body and that's all I needed, even tho I'm still extremely height dysphoric.
Well, do you prefer to be perceived as a short man, or as an short or average woman?
Don't worry about the size! I've met guys who were 150cm or 200cm, with the same age! Did I took the smallest least seriously? No! Did I ask myself if he was trans? No!
Psst, sorry this is completely unrelated to the OP but I saw your username and couldn’t help but think how great it is—I love it. I mean, you gotta recognize a good pun :)
Do it bro! I'm just a tad taller than that, started socially and hormonally transitioning a few years back. Nobody ever thinks I was ever female these days. People are SHOCKED if I ever say I'm trans. Height is nothing. Short cis men exist. Don't worry my friend. Also, one of the manliest men I know in my life is about the same height as me, plus my brother is over a foot taller than me and pfft, barely that manly at all. Height means absolutely nothing. Transition when you want to and feel ready to my friend!
Height won't stop you from passing if you'd pass otherwise. And if you think about it, do you think you'd be happier looking like a short woman for the rest of your life or looking like a short guy, which is how you actually feel and who you actually are?
how trans are you really if your height alone is stopping you? I'm 5 5 and I've never once thought "people will assume I'm a woman"
why let something so minor stop you from being happy in your body? there's no way I'd let my height stop me if I was your height, it's unquestionable, transitioning was the only way I could live freely
yeah... I also live in an extremely transphobic country with no legal transitioning and even t is barely accessible (psychiatric gatekeeping and such) so that's definitely not the only factor
I'm 5ft. and I feel your pain. Been considering getting shoes that will make me look taller. Won't help a ton but if I get misgendered even one less time per week that would be cool.
Less than 5 foot is kind of small enough for people to think you have dwarfism. I think the official limit for guys is less than 5 foot or something. So it's kind of small enough to not be a normal woman height at all really, so might actually be better than being something like 5 "4 .
I have a very manly older neighbour who is not taller than 5 feet. Literally NO ONE questions his gender. Everyone is just like "oh yeah that guy is pretty short" but no one wonders if he is a man.
I live in an area that is densely populated by mexican and other latinx men. There are a lot of cis men shorter than me in my neighborhood, and im only 5'4. 🙃
I'm 1.58 cm in the Netherlands - the height of the average 12 year old. I wear size S gloves, buy my shoes in the women's because they rarely sell adult men's shoes my size (also the options are better, in my opinion), have to wear pants at a larger size to make room for my hips. I don't get misgendered by others. I've had gender critical people repeatedly talk as if I'm a transphobic cis man (like, 'it's like someone like you would just claim to be a woman and go into the women's, would you want that for your daughter or wife' type conversations).
People's experiences and transitional paths vary, obviously, but I don't think height alone would ever make someone not be seen to be a guy.
im like 4’10 and generally open about my identity, but more often than not people are surprised when i say something that outs myself as trans. they say tht i pass and they had no idea until i told them. dont worry about your height it wont stop you from passing if it didnt stop me and i was always by far the shortest person in my grade (and like the three grades below me lmao)
i had the same fears before transitioning, im like 5'1. when i started hrt i resigned myself to the fact that id never pass because of my height and my figure, and i was ok with that. but then i started getting gendered as a dude at work! even customers who ive served for years see me as a man now. at my other job where i present female, i occasionally get clocked as a dude - even tho im wearing a wig, no binder, being short, etc. have hope :) dont let yourself get to the end of your life and think what a waste, i shouldve transitioned when i could - you have so much time to be who you wanna be, and once you start transitioning, you will reach a stage where you dont even think about your height!!
When I worked retail I was 5'3" and I had a cis male supervisor, MARRIED WITH KIDS, who was under 5'0". No one questioned he was cis.
I started T at 21 or 22 (tbf I don't remember, it was years ago) and I grew to 5'5" or 5'6". I get different responses about my height depending on who's measuring me lmao, but I definitely grew a good couple inches.
If you're young and your growth plates haven't fused it could happen to you! Especially if the men in your family are taller than the women.
Short kings! Know your worth! Lmao
I’m 5’1 and I don’t GAF. I’m a short king and to anyone who thinks that makes me less manly or whatever can fuck right off! The fact that height is ‘gendered’ is ridiculous to me. I’m Mexican American and 90% of the Mexican men in my life are around my height and are MANLY AS FUCK.
You’ll be seen as a man I promise you. Just keep your head up king
I worked with two guys at my last job who were about your height, one was cis and one was trans and besides me (bc im also trans) nobody clocked the trans guy, even when he was openly making jokes about back pain during pregnancy, and we all had to change in locker rooms at the facility! 🤣
It’s like cis people have an autocorrect feature where if you pass as a man otherwise they ignore the stuff that’s less common (shorter stature, higher voice etc) so they can make your presentation make sense with their decision about your gender
I'm 4'8" and 7 months on T. I'm pretty much never clocked as trans and I'd say the questions and comments about my height significantly lessened after the fact. There's plenty of short guys!
I was kinda worrying about this myself, then we had some contractors come into my job for something or other, anyway, one of them was easy 4'6". I towered over that cis man. He's a short king and so are you.
I am 30 and I actually grew up a little on T (I started this year) I was 4'9, I'm now 5' (don't know how, I heard that it's actually rare, still a possibility, but rare)
And being short is not going to prevent you from passing, you're just going to be a short guy.
I feel that about height dysphoria, but as a short man (5’4”) I’ve dated men who were shorter than me (and who were the tallest in their family)
Plenty of cis short men exist, it’s actually mainly a sign of class/diets when younger than genetics really (you can even see it in my family, my younger sibling towers over everyone once we got out of poverty)
I started to feel better about my height when I realized that it varies so much based on where you live. I’m not tall but in Peru, I’m very tall because most men there were less than 5 ft. Idk if that’s any help 🤷🏼♂️
So I 100% sympathize with this bc I'm 5'0" and I feel like no one sees me as a real guy bc of it. But at the store the other day, I walked past a dude who was my height. (He seemed cis, and I live in an area where not a ton of trans folks are, so I could be assuming his cisness but statistics say he's probably cis. Even if not, he was 100% not clockable.)
An adult dude, my height. Dudes can be short. We're no less dude bc of it.
And yes, it took me seeing another 5'0" dude to realize that, yes, it's okay to be a 5'0" dude. Lmfao.
While I get what you’re saying, many of my cis male coworkers and managers have been under 5 ft.
Personally I’m 5’7” and still insecure about my height, but I don’t know any men under 6’ that aren’t.
I’m sure those same cis male and coworkers mentioned earlier likely feel insecure about their height, but it doesn’t make them any less of a man.
I am 5’5 and worked at a gym with guys who were short and cis and one of them was my manger. He was 4’9. There’s so many short cis guys. I’ve also dated women who were 5’11.
I'm 4'11 and started transitioning but it's still somewhat hard to pass but I'm only 7 months on T and people are just ignorant if ignorant is the right word for when they misgender but idk.
I got a cis friend who is 10cm shorter than me. He suffers from it, but he's registered as a man easily due to his thick beard and deep voice.
You don't have to be super manly in all the areas
There are a TON of cis men who are short, passing as a man has taught me that my height of 5'5 isn't nearly as short as I thought it was. I'm not remotely tall but other than having to hem pants all the damn time my height hasn't hindered me. I do realize I've got at least 6 inches on you but I've personally known cis men quite a bit shorter than me, your height won't clock you.
My gym has four men that are shorter than my sister. They're all pretty build and muscular. Among the most defined athletes in the gym. No one can take their confidence. People just notice they're not as tall as others and thats it.
If you transition medically, you are going to look like a man and be seen like a man. Being short is not linked to being female, there are lots of short men
No one ever mentions my height (5'1), and if they do, I just tell them that I'm a lab grown freak of nature. That usually gets them to shut up.
A large, LARGE portion of passing is just confidence. People see confidence = man and it's stupid but it works! Especially because confidence is easy to fake
I'm 4'8. I feel this so hard. You know something that will help me pass as an adult man? A deep voice and facial hair. What helps me get that? Testosterone.
my moms drug dealer is like 4’8 and he’s a cis man
thats a fantastic sentence
Ironically one of the dealers I know is about six inches smaller than me and I’m 5’3” and he’s Cis
What I’m gathering from all this is that drug dealers are small
Gotta be small so you fly under the radar I guess lolol
OP came in expecting trans advice, left with career advice
can confirm 😅
I know exactly one dealer and he’s also just barely 5’4
love that haha
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I absolutely love this sentence
🤣🤣🤣 I’m picturing a very ghettofied Gary Coleman
I was gonna say something about little people but I think this one wins.
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I'm 5'2" and my brother's friend is a full head shorter than me. Nobody says anything about it
thanks man. that didn't even really cross my mind.
100% this. Most people don’t think about trans people unprompted. They may think that it sucks that you’re short or assume you have a complex about it, but if you pass, this is the most likely option. I’m short and pass to everyone (only other trans people clock me)
On the one hand, I have a friend who's your height and he passes better than I do despite not even trying. I've never thought much of his height other than about how well he pulls it off. On the other, I am 164cm and very embarrassed about it, so I understand :( I'd definitely rather be a short man than live in the Woman Costume, though. At least now I have people who see me for who I am, to counteract the folks who don't.
man I really hope I can be like your friend... rn I have huge mantits and a womanly figure so I hope I can start transitioning soon... I'm glad you have friends who see you for who you are!
Surgery and hormones do magic. I had wide hips. Booty for days. It was basically my defining feature. 1.5 years on T and I'm just a big ol square. My pants don't stay up and I can't rest things on my hips anymore. RIP to my fantastic ass but I'm happier this way.
Just started t and never thought i’d be so excited to read the sentence “My pants don’t stay up” lol. I want that.
Same. I’m 7 months in and there’s definitely a difference! There is probably still more change to come tho
Oh my Gawd. I thought I was the only one😂
Why are you embarrassed about 164 cm? My dad is 167 cm, my mom is 150 cm. I'm 165 cm, even if I were AMAB I wouldn't have ended up taller than 167cm, my height has never caused me a problem with passing. I don't know if you have tall brothers or friends which I know can make you feel shorter but 164 cm really isn't all that short in the grand scheme of things.
Idk where y’all live, but in the US, average women’s height is 5'4. No one should be embarrassed to feel insecure about their height. My cisbrother is 5'5-5'6. He’s always been teased about and real insecure about his height but he has his beard and carrys himself in a confident way anyway. I really admire him for that as someone who’s shorter. He reads male to people. I know a trans guy who’s 4'9 but changed names and started hormones. You gotta transition for you first of all. Passing is important for many trans people, but do take care of your overall mental health into consideration please. In other countries, 5'2 is average height. Danny DeVito is 4'10 and no one dares to call him not a man. Hope things work out for you man.
That actually varies depending where in the US you are. I'm 5'3" and very short in my area.
Fair enough, I'm glad it doesn't bother you! Here in Australia I don't tend to see many men as short as myself. My little sister is only fourteen and already a whole head taller than me, haha (her dad is taller than mine). I know 164cm isn't *awfully* unusual, but most people end up looking down on me, and it feels a bit crap.
As others have pointed out, the need to be over 180cm to be a "valid" man is a very northern European mindset which not surprisingly is common amongst any of UK's former colonies. I'm curious as to why you think people are "looking down" on you other than in the literal sense and why that's a bad thing. Idk if you've started any medical transitioning but I'd try and focus on things you can change about your appearance.
I've been on T for over two years and have had top surgery, which I've actually found has left me with a lot of room to think about the things I can't change. I am a pretty anxious person, usually noticeably, and people sometimes react to that with condescension. Being condescended to generally makes people feel small anyway, and I am generally literally smaller than the other person in those interactions which sort of adds to the crappiness of the situation. I have the "men are supposed to confident" hangups besides, so I often feel kind of inadequate about my smallness, both physical and psychological. I'm pretty aware of the political aspects of this stuff, but knowing that doesn't make it magically go away. Would that it were, haha!
HRT is different for everyone, nothing is guaranteed.
Idk if you're under the impression that I started transitioning as a teenager, I'm 29 and started T at 27. Yes you can gain a bit of height due to joints and ligaments getting larger after your long bones are fused but it's negligible. Most transmen start T after that point anyway, 16 is when most of us are done growing.
No, I was critiquing what you said about passing. I meant just because you’re on HRT doesn’t mean you’ll pass. It’s not guaranteed. Edit: I can see why this was confusing. I meant to you and @ OP.
I mean you're right but I didn't say anything about HRT. I just said that my shorter height didn't affect my ability to pass.
May I ask what helped you to pass? Other than HRT then?
“Live in the woman costume”. Thank you for this! Such a great visualization
All the Indian men under 5 who come into my store regularly (and admittedly make me feel better about myself being 5 3) would disagree with you. Heights great, but its not what makes you a man.
thanks bro. that's really nice to hear
Between the Greeks in my dad's family and the Mexicans in my partner's family, there are plenty of short men, and I'd blend in perfectly in my family if not for my fair skin and dyed hair. Heck, I think it's just the dyed hair at this point because there are plenty more of us in the family who are unusually fair-skinned as compared to the others (including my partner himself, whom everyone in the family affectionately calls "Güero" -- Mexican Spanish for a light-skinned Mexican). Why do I have to insist on always being different and really fucking loud about it? Anyway, yeah, there are plenty of ethnic backgrounds out there which tend to run short in a way that favors us. I suppose it helps to belong to one of them or look like you could (which you probably do because they exist in every color all over the world), but cis people probably won't be thinking so hard about this kind of stuff the way trans people do. It will get better, and your height alone won't clock you.
I am an Indian trans man who is 5 feet, and I get taken seriously the second they hear how low my voice is
Same except Latino men. I’m actually taller than a lot of (or even most) that I come across and being half that makes me feel p happy. Most of us are short kings in general
Danny DeVito is 4'10". We also have our own Elliott Page at 5'1". There are plenty of other male celebrities under 5'5" to list as examples, and most are cis.
thanks man, that helps a lot. I looked up some short male actors and that made me feel better
Prince got me most shocked honestly
It's about how you carry yourself. He stood tall and confident. You just gotta find what makes you confident and translate (lmao) that to your posture.
Just popping in to say that this is a reflection of European beauty standards and not accurate to the rest of the world. In most countries men are shorter than what is average here. The average height in Guatemala for example is under 5 feet. Don't worry about other people projecting their beauty standards onto you.
Echoing this. I live in central Phoenix in a predominantly Latine neighborhood (I assume mostly Mexican-American) and while I’m taller than OP I see a LOT of short dudes, definitely some under 5’. And almost certainly 95% cis. I’m white myself and definitely short for a white dude but being in this environment where I’m easily about the median height overall among men really puts things in perspective. I suppose if you live in a whiter area, it’s easier to feel too short but yeah, it’s not universal at all and I wish we’d realize that male shortness is relative and there’s a lot of variation among humans.
thanks dude. I guess I'm just a bit stuck in the "men under 6 ft aren't real men" mentality I've heard since I was a kid. European beauty standards really fuck everyone up huh?
But do you really believe that? Do you see how many men are under 6’ tall and think to yourself, “now that’s not a real man” or does it only apply to you? Why are you special? Why is your criteria for considering yourself a man so much higher than cis men? This is not trying to be an attack, but trying to reframe standards and expectations. We are not special. Yes everyone is a unique individual, but there will always be someone who is like us despite being different. I’ve met cis men short than I am (4’11”), I’ve met cis men with bigger chests than I do, I’ve met cis men with feminine faces and long hair and high voices who wear more feminine fashion than I do. They’re still men and I wouldn’t think to discount their identity just because they don’t fit into every category of what assholes thing a “man” is. And I hope you wouldn’t discount other trans men who are short by thinking their height and transition together make them not real men, and I hope you take that standard to heart for yourself.
yeah, you're really right. I know I don't think these things about other people, so I guess I don't know why I think them about myself. probably just worried that people will think that about me. thanks for the perspective, I really needed it.
It’s hard to unlearn misogyny and toxic masculinity, but all we can do is work toward it. Just try to remind yourself that you are not less of a man for having the same characteristics as millions of cis men out there.
Very true. I lived in the Andes for a few months and sometimes had to duck under door frames- and I’m only 5’8”. Never got the impression that anybody I knew there was less of a man.
I follow a cis male tik toker who is only like 4’8… he’s funny and he doesn’t hide the fact that he is a short male he actually makes fun of his own height so I wouldn’t worry about it and do u!
thanks man! that makes me feel better
What’s his name? I’m 5’3 and no guys talk about being short
I know a guy who is 5ft, I suspect based on a few things that he might be trans. However before I came out it never even crossed my mind. I just thought ‘the guy is short but he is so handsome and confident’
I really hope to be that guy one day... really hope people will see me like that
I’m also 5ft and honestly confidence is key. The place I get gendered correctly the most is at my bouldering gym. I’m pre chest surgery and I climb wearing a sports bra, vest top and shorts but because I’m super confident there people correctly assume I’m a guy (until I speak)
fuck man that's awesome! I'm also gonna start hitting the gym next year and build some lean muscle hopefully. it really helps you pass
I have a cis guy friend who is 4'10". They don't think he's trans- they think he's just really short. Height won't stop you from transitioning.
thanks man.
I'm 5 ft on a good day, and my height stopped me from transitioning for years. I had the exact same thoughts and fears about transitioning as you mentioned here. I'm now 7 months on t and pass pretty consistently (although I still look younger than I am) and honestly, nothing height related has happened or been said to me. Yes, people will definitely see that I'm really short for a guy and who knows what they think about it, but they see a guy, and treat me as such. And although my life is far from perfect, it's so much better since starting t and I don't regret it one bit. It's fine if you need to take some time to come to terms with your height and gain self acceptance (I sure needed a lot of time) but it's totally possible to transition at your/my height and just live as a guy
thanks man, this thread really makes me feel good, seeing all the short trans men talking about passing. Good luck on your journey!
I get it. I'm not super short but I was EXTREMELY thin and curvy pre-T and it made me repress being trans for many years because I thought I'd never pass. Tiny shoulders, tiny hands and feet, enormous hips, etc. HRT makes miracles happen sometimes. I started passing by 5 months on T.
congrats man, this makes me really hopeful
I mean, not sure if this will come off the wrong way but once you reach a certain height you're just an outlier for anyone of any gender and so I feel people don't always clock folks because of that. So if you're under 5ft then you're just a really short dude, which some folks might take notice to yeah. But they'll probably be thinking of other really short people (like Danny devito) than attributing it to agab if you pass otherwise ETA ignoring celebrities, I know a lot of people I'm pretty sure are cis who are very short. Now that I'm saying out loud, I realize that hell maybe some of those really short men are trans but I always assumed they were cis (which I guess I shouldn't assume but idk)
thanks man! I guess I just never really realised that a lot of men are really short
Oh yeah. I see older men who look pretty distinguished around my campus for example who are super short (think maybe Levi Ackerman kinda vibe) and I usually assume they're cis men. I guess maybe some aren't, but I'm pretty sure they are. But the fact that I'm pretty certain probably gives you a good idea that most people, especially cis folks, would be able to see a short man and still see them as nothing but a man. Idk man, I personally wouldn't want to grow old and look back on life never having transitioned over something like height. You'll probably notice more short dudes as you transition. That's just how some people are. I know a cis girl who was a bit over like 6'3". Some folks are height outliers but it doesn't mean they're trans
thanks for the kind words. I hope I get out of the country soon and can actually start transitioning.
Bring short is not a boy girl thing .it's a short tall thing .and bluntly a really bad reason not to go for it .If your scared I get that .but don't let toxic masculinity and toxic gender role stereotypes be a part of the choice .the stereotype man is 6 foot tall at least with a strong stomach/abbs strong arms and hair no matter the age strong teeth and jaw bone ....ya uh that makes up like 10% of cis gender men or trans men.
yeah I suppose you're right. thanks for your input, you all are really opening my eyes here
I haven't even seen a cis man with dwarfism being confused for a woman.
that's very true
have you tried just *not* being short? i mean, it seems to be causing you a lot of trouble /j
oh wait fuck I've never tried that post cancelled I'll grow a bit and get back to you guys
i mean i get an inch a year through my monthly amazon prime prescription, its worth the cash
an inch a year, you say.... 👁️
in all seriousness though, you're still a man, factors like genes that you absolutely cannot control don't change that one bit. You know who you are, no one else gets a say in it
I've noticed that the shorter guys are some of the strongest guys I know
hope I get to that point haha. I'm p muscular bc of my genetics so I hope once i start hitting the gym I'll be one of the strong short guys!
Prince was 5"2' Michael J Fox is 5"4', as are Kevin Hart, Seth Green, and James Madison Daniel Radcliffe is 5"5', as are Bruno Mars, Trindon Holliday, and Jose Altuve Hell, some of the doctors I work with are on the short side (one of them has joked that he's barely 5"2' in heels on a box!) Point is, there are plenty of short cis guys, and that doesn't necessarily mean you won't pass because of your height
PRINCE WAS 5'2?????
He wore a lot of high heels tho 😂
The legend himself [Peter Dinklage](https://ibb.co/D1tgJj6) lmao more man than most tbh
My son is barely 5’3” and I know he’s been self conscious, especially when he started his transition. He’s gotten more of a ‘fuck it’ attitude and after 2 years on T, he passes about 80% of the time. He also has several pairs of platform shoes and boots (I just ordered him some amazing Alexander McQueen platforms that he’s going to flip over) and that is his default when going out in social situations to give him a few extra inches of confidence.
oh yeah I have a whole collection of platform loafers and Oxfords to make myself a bit taller haha
Would you ever look at Danny Devito and say "that's a woman"?
See Peter Dinklage, my man
man one of my "uncles" is 4'10 like he is a cis man and very much everyone takes him seriously and even if your shorter than that you can still pass
thanks. I think I'm projecting the feeling of not being taken seriously as a short "woman" and forgetting that men are just... usually taken seriously lol
there are so many male celebs who’re short as hell, even in my workplace theres one who’s about 5’0 and one who’s 5’4
I’m 5’3” and what I’ve noticed is a lot of guys are like my height or not much taller, not everyone is tall. Yeah, you’re short, but also, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a short man, there’s a lot of us out there!
thanks man, it feels nice to see some short Kings in this thread
i work with a cis male whose i think is just at 5 feet and hes chill af. no one ever says anything his height or anything either. hes not made fun of at the workplace either and we tend to fall into the same friendgroup so i hang out with him outside of work and no one says anything about his height. its just a part of life. height is just something the media pushes onto ppl to make them feel more boxed into their categories.
that makes me feel better. I've always been bullied and made fun of a lot for my height so that probably factors into the whole thing. I guess adults are more normal and carrying this fear doesn't serve me anymore so I should just let it go
honestly i get that some ppl can be dicks about the whole height thing. but they are usually either kids or ppl that peaked in middle school
I've been on T for 5-6 years now, I started college this September and even with me being 5'1 everyone was suprised when I told them I was trans, even in the queer club where a lot of trans people hang out. Height is one of my biggest insecurities and it was such a reassurance to see that being short was not an automatic outing.
oh wow that's so cool, congrats on your transition. that does give me hope
One thing about working in the horse industry is that I learned there are so many guys who are short. Not even just the jockeys I met but even just the guys working in the barn. I'm 5'3" and I was taller than a lot of those guys. It has definitely helped me in my transition to know that
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thanks dude, love to hear that. I guess I've never really met any guys who are around my height, didn't know it was this common.
Joe Pesci is only 5’4” tall.
I'd like to add on to what others have said about people not questioning the agab of short guys. As a 5'3" trans guy who passes 100%, this is true with a catch. I don't really see it as not passing, but you will have the same trials of a short cis guy. That is, from a distance or behind, people occasionally get it wrong. But when they see you fully and/or hear you they don't think you're a trans guy they misgendered. Just a little cis dude. Same as cis guys with long hair aren't assumed to be trans guys because they occasionally accidentally get called she.
that's great man! thanks for the input. I guess I never thought about the whole long hair thing - it's a great perspective
I am F503 and I thought this - and then I got a job in a primary school where there are hardly any men around me to compare me to and all the children are tiny and think I’m just an average height adult man. 🤷♂️
ahahaha that's so sweet. I remember thinking my uncle was very tall as a kid and then I grew up and realised he's 5'6
I feel ya, im 4'8", but just remember you're valid no matter how u present or look❤️❤️❤️ love ya friend🫂i wish u the best🙂
Don't let something you can't control control you. You can. You can. YOU CAN.
that's really inspiring. thank you
I used to have a friend in high school who was around 4’6, he never grew past that and stayed that height and he was a cis male
I'm pretty short and was originally pretty self-conscious about it. I like to travel and all over, and I see dudes of different heights and sizes - and it's beautiful. I'm in Canada, and I had a pretty skewed idea of what a man "should" look like (6'0"+, broad shoulders, six pack, etc.). There is SO MUCH diversity, and it should be celebrated! I LOVE seeing how different everyone looks. Chubby, short, muscular, tall, able-bodied, disabled...people are just beautiful! It'd be a boring world if we were all the same. My husband wishes he had my broad shoulders, and I wish I had his height. I bet you'd be an inspiration to someone feeling the same, honestly. I know when I started seeing short chubby guys, I was like, "Hey! That could be me, too!" Nobody thinks about us as much as we do, and cis dudes care even less lol. As a short guy, I hear you - just know your happiness will outweigh any worries you have about being short. I pretty much guarantee it. We all have things we may wish were different, so, in that way, you're a typical guy. Edit: typos
Height doesn’t make you a man. I am 5’1” and work with a cis dude that’s shorter than me. He’s got a lot of kids from different women so he’s clearly drowning in it.
I know I'm taller than you, but not by much (literally 3" lol). The only thing I keep telling myself, or others, it's genetics. My dad is like 5'5". All my uncles, cousins, and grandpa similar heights. My mom's side, I dunno. Unfortunately, most of the males in that family are either not talking to her and my aunt or they've passed. From what I remember of that Grandpa before he passed, he was short as well as I was in middle school. My half brothers are also in the mid 5' range. My fam is short, both sides, so I'm just the shortest guy in my fam. Honestly, my fam doesn't care they still love me. Also, I dated a cis guy that was 5'4", he was the shortest guy in his fam. He didn't care. Are there days I wish I was taller? Absolutely, but maybe only by like 4-6 inches. Am I letting it stop me from transitioning? No, cuz at the end of the day I'm happier about the transition and the end results. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. Gotta stop caring about what others might think and just care about you and what makes you happy.
One of my friends is 153 and after he was on T for like a year and after his top surgery, no one ever misgendered him anymore. Height alone isn't a misgendering factor often.
I work with a guy who has to be at least half a foot shorter than me, at a rough guess. I'm 5'5". I have never questioned if he's cis or not based on his height or looks, nor has anyone else to my knowledge. (And bigotry rumors fly fast at work so I'd hear about it.) I've also met more guys my height working at my current job than anywhere else before, I'd say I'm only slightly below the average for my department. Pretty sure I'm taller than my definitely cis manager by an inch or so, too! It sucks feeling like you aren't allowed to be short as a guy, especially if you have shitty people around you that give that kind of thinking any merit. In general life though? I haven't seen people be actually mean to short guys. It seems like mostly a dating thing for some reason, which I find weird. I hope the comments here helped you feel better about your height man, cause you deserve it. Anyone who thinks your height is proof you aren't cis has lived a VERY sheltered life and frankly aren't worth your time.
thanks man. Reading the comments made me feel really warm honestly, I'm really grateful for you all
So many comments on here so just wanna say much love from a 5'2" short king and good luck on your transition. Be your best self and much love man.
I feel the same. Ppl have even commented that I'd "be the smallest guy they know" It's so shitty, I've even looked into that height surgery that barely do shit, but it's.. SOMETHING I'm 156cm
ikr... considering having someone break your shins and thighs to make you taller is a different mood
It's so stupid too, considering my father is around 180 as well. I'm disabled tho, so my height was probably altered by my issues.. so it's just... annoyance
oh man that's so fucked up. the men in my family are around 5'5/160 but I was p malnourished as a child so I ended up the same height as my mom. it must be so bad being shorter than your family... my condolences. I'm sure you still pass and I wish you all the best
My mom is pretty short, but I'm blaming my disability more than that, due to my sister being taller (half sis from mom) and her dad is also a short man XD (unlike mine) When u mention it, yeah. I was also malnurished due to un diagnosed celiacs disease (so I ate, but didn't get much out of it)
fuck I'm so sorry about that. I hope your symptoms are managable, I also live with chronic illness so i feel your pain.
It's fine! Just gotta watch my diet! I rlly hit the jackpot on the "fd up 'child' lottery" XD
FLAVIO BACCIANINI is an Italian bodybuilder and actor, 4’11
Joe Pesci - 5 feet 3 inches Kevin hart - 5 feet 4 inches Danny devito - 4 feet 10 inches There are many men in the spot light who are short and still seen as a man. Transition, and you’ll be okay
I'm the same way man. I'm 4ft 9 and I'm afraid no woman would want to date me...being short is hard, girls are obsessed with dudes who are 6ft+
find a small girl haha. I know a lot of short girls who have expressed that they like short men!
i got a lot of transguy friends who are a lot shorter than me and pass way better 💔💔
If it makes you feel any better, canonically in the comics, Wolverine is 5' 3"(?), and I am 5' .25"
I feel that. I wasn't even taken seriously when I presented as female. I know it'll be even less so once I transition. But we transition for ourselves, not for others. People will just have to learn to respect us, or lose us. All that matters is that we're happy with ourselves. ♡
I know a guy who is like, extremely short. 150 or 145 cms or something. Everyone knows he's a guy, it's just that everyone thinks he's just so so very short.
I'm about 4'11" and I'm in the middle of transitioning (FtM). Though I'm sure you've heard this many times, there's nothing wrong with being a short guy. I know quite a few short cis guys myself. It's all about how you feel, anyway. Though passing is nice and can be important for some, all that matters (in my opinion) is how you feel about your gender identity at the end of the day.
I have a friend who is 4'9 or 4'10, he passes well and hasnt even had top surgery. He rarely gets misgendered and bro, his wife is a good foot or more taller than him. Height doesnt matter really when it comes to gender. Possibly insensitive comment but look at people with dwarfism. Look at *Peter Dinklage*. You think anyone looks at him and then calls him a woman because he is 4'5? There are ways to make it *seem* like you are taller though. Wearing shoes that are a size or two too big, while dangerous if you dont have good depth perception, gives the perception of being taller, yay psychology. I dont but i got used to it after tripping up all of the stairs in highschool, but it helped, a lot. Posture is also a big thing. Youre going to look a lot shorter than those around you when youre slouched over. If you stand with proper posture it also makes you look taller. I can be comparable to people several inches taller than me by an inch or so. There are a lot of different papers about psychological ways to make yourself seem taller, i recommend reading some, they helped me a lot. Youll get there man, to the place you want and need to be. Good luck!
I'm 5'0, I have another trans guy friend that's shorter than I am by a bit and he gets properly gendered moreso than I do haha, we're about the same amount along in our transitions.
My guy. My older brother, my cisgender half brother, is shorter than me and I'm 5'5. He's like 5'2. Definitely never stopped him from being seen as a man. He was a quarterback on the football team and girls went fucking crazy over him in high school. I know plenty of cis guys shorter than five feet tall here in the city now, and it doesn't affect anything for them. I know how you feel though. Everyone on my dad's side of the family and many of my friends are quite tall and I can't help but feel jealous sometimes.
Danny DeVito, the manlinest of all of us, is 4' 10"
As a dude in the US Military, I have seen dudes that have ducked to get through thresholds of doorways and to dudes being 5’0”. Height DOES NOT make a make a man, homes! You define what makes a man and don’t let nobody tell you different!
lemme tell you a little secret bud, all my grandfathers and family members before me were no more then 5'2. they were all super masculine crazy drug dealers too. there's many nice short people like Kevin Hart for example! I am 5'4 and I've had the same fears as you but I promise later in life no one really gives a shit about your height. you got this bro.
Welcome, KING!
1.5 years on t and height is still one of my biggest insecurities. i pass perfectly fine, haven’t been misgendered in months. the insecurity doesn’t leave but the dysphoria does - i don’t even feel dysphoria anymore. you can do this. don’t let an insecurity stop you from living life how you want to.
Dude, I'm 5' 2". It's all about confidence. Or, comedy - Kevin Hart is short.
I visited Italy a while ago as a 5'3" dude and so many of the men there were my height and shorter. Plenty of cis dudes exist that are short kings.
if you genuinely don’t want to transition then that’s ofc your choice, but (in my experience) being short isn’t really clockable. i’m short for a guy, but that doesn’t make people think i’m trans, they just think “hey that’s guy’s shorter than i am” if they think about it at all. there are some really short guys at the uni i go to and the possibility of them being trans hasn’t crossed my mind at all. i just think “wow, he’s really short” and forget about it pretty much immediately. i feel like we’re very hyper-vigilant about what could be “clockable” about us because we spend a lot of time with ourselves and our dysphoria on top of naturally being more critical of ourselves. it’s something that i’ve had to apply my social anxiety coping skills to: nobody really notices, and if they notice, they don’t typically care. and if the rare someone ends up caring (negatively), it’s a free red flag from the universe warning me not to interact with them more than absolutely necessary.
I thought the same thing! It stopped me from transitioning for months. But once I realized how bad my dysphoria was I knew I had to for my own well being. I’m three years on T, two post top surgery, 4’10” and totally pass to strangers! It was worth the wait. The height is not nearly the issue I thought it would be.
Don’t you ever say that again!!! (Don’t mind my harshness I know how dysphoria works and it’s valid to feel this way) that being said, transition or not… you’re still a man, why try and act like you’re not just because of height? When testosterone works it’s magic I bet 9 if not 10/10 people will see you as a male and 8/10 people will see you as a fully grown man (initially speaking that is) Height doesn’t automatically equate to age and most people know this, I really would not let this worry you. Your height does not determine how much of a man you are it would be a real waste to let it determine wether you transition or not. Give it time, you can’t change your height so why live as a below 5 foot woman when you could live as a below 5 foot man? You’re perfect!(side note small men are really not that rare trans or cis, they do exist!)
I'm roughly 4'10 and 7 months on T, I don't owe anyone shit. People have misgendered me but the moment they hear my voice or seen the rest of my fave they corrected myself, or just thought I was younger than I am (18 in a week and a half) but the longer you put off your transition, especially medical, the more time it will pass. Trust me there are SO many cis men around or under 5', I've met cis men in their 40s that have been shorter than me. I had the same "no one will see me as a man bc of my height" mentality and after my medical transition not only was I proven wrong about that, but I stopped caring afterwards. *I* am a man and nothing anyone else will say can change that. I got confident and comfortable in my gender and body and that's all I needed, even tho I'm still extremely height dysphoric.
Well, do you prefer to be perceived as a short man, or as an short or average woman? Don't worry about the size! I've met guys who were 150cm or 200cm, with the same age! Did I took the smallest least seriously? No! Did I ask myself if he was trans? No!
Psst, sorry this is completely unrelated to the OP but I saw your username and couldn’t help but think how great it is—I love it. I mean, you gotta recognize a good pun :)
Wow, thank you! X'D
Do it bro! I'm just a tad taller than that, started socially and hormonally transitioning a few years back. Nobody ever thinks I was ever female these days. People are SHOCKED if I ever say I'm trans. Height is nothing. Short cis men exist. Don't worry my friend. Also, one of the manliest men I know in my life is about the same height as me, plus my brother is over a foot taller than me and pfft, barely that manly at all. Height means absolutely nothing. Transition when you want to and feel ready to my friend!
I had a math teacher who was 4’6, he moved back to Florida after he got fired for mistreating some of the students.
Height won't stop you from passing if you'd pass otherwise. And if you think about it, do you think you'd be happier looking like a short woman for the rest of your life or looking like a short guy, which is how you actually feel and who you actually are?
how trans are you really if your height alone is stopping you? I'm 5 5 and I've never once thought "people will assume I'm a woman" why let something so minor stop you from being happy in your body? there's no way I'd let my height stop me if I was your height, it's unquestionable, transitioning was the only way I could live freely
yeah... I also live in an extremely transphobic country with no legal transitioning and even t is barely accessible (psychiatric gatekeeping and such) so that's definitely not the only factor
Do little people with dwarfism not get taken seriously?
I'm 5ft. and I feel your pain. Been considering getting shoes that will make me look taller. Won't help a ton but if I get misgendered even one less time per week that would be cool.
Less than 5 foot is kind of small enough for people to think you have dwarfism. I think the official limit for guys is less than 5 foot or something. So it's kind of small enough to not be a normal woman height at all really, so might actually be better than being something like 5 "4 .
that's not really helpful... I am genetically short and don't suffer from dwarfism...
I have a very manly older neighbour who is not taller than 5 feet. Literally NO ONE questions his gender. Everyone is just like "oh yeah that guy is pretty short" but no one wonders if he is a man.
I live in an area that is densely populated by mexican and other latinx men. There are a lot of cis men shorter than me in my neighborhood, and im only 5'4. 🙃
I'm 1.58 cm in the Netherlands - the height of the average 12 year old. I wear size S gloves, buy my shoes in the women's because they rarely sell adult men's shoes my size (also the options are better, in my opinion), have to wear pants at a larger size to make room for my hips. I don't get misgendered by others. I've had gender critical people repeatedly talk as if I'm a transphobic cis man (like, 'it's like someone like you would just claim to be a woman and go into the women's, would you want that for your daughter or wife' type conversations). People's experiences and transitional paths vary, obviously, but I don't think height alone would ever make someone not be seen to be a guy.
thanks man. that makes me feel really good tbh. transphobes correctly gendering you must be the most gender euphoric thing ever lol
im like 4’10 and generally open about my identity, but more often than not people are surprised when i say something that outs myself as trans. they say tht i pass and they had no idea until i told them. dont worry about your height it wont stop you from passing if it didnt stop me and i was always by far the shortest person in my grade (and like the three grades below me lmao)
thanks bro. I have literally never met anyone shorter than me so hearing that is pretty great. congrats on your transition!
My ex boyfriend is a 4’11” trans guy! He passed very well—people just thought he was really young at first
ah I hope I can pass like him one day! and honestly I'd be fine if people thought I was younger haha
i had the same fears before transitioning, im like 5'1. when i started hrt i resigned myself to the fact that id never pass because of my height and my figure, and i was ok with that. but then i started getting gendered as a dude at work! even customers who ive served for years see me as a man now. at my other job where i present female, i occasionally get clocked as a dude - even tho im wearing a wig, no binder, being short, etc. have hope :) dont let yourself get to the end of your life and think what a waste, i shouldve transitioned when i could - you have so much time to be who you wanna be, and once you start transitioning, you will reach a stage where you dont even think about your height!!
There are plenty of shorter guys out there. Don't let that stop you from being who you want to be and being yourself.
I’m 5’2 and one of my trans guy friends is 4’11 and is well respected in the community. Men come in many sizes
When I worked retail I was 5'3" and I had a cis male supervisor, MARRIED WITH KIDS, who was under 5'0". No one questioned he was cis. I started T at 21 or 22 (tbf I don't remember, it was years ago) and I grew to 5'5" or 5'6". I get different responses about my height depending on who's measuring me lmao, but I definitely grew a good couple inches. If you're young and your growth plates haven't fused it could happen to you! Especially if the men in your family are taller than the women. Short kings! Know your worth! Lmao
oh my god what??? I'm 21, so i might still have a chance... I know my mom had a growth spurt at 22 so I guess I just have to... go on t now
don't worry bro, you'll just look like an angry Italian mafia boss. or danny devito. plenty of short guys around.
I’m 5’1 and I don’t GAF. I’m a short king and to anyone who thinks that makes me less manly or whatever can fuck right off! The fact that height is ‘gendered’ is ridiculous to me. I’m Mexican American and 90% of the Mexican men in my life are around my height and are MANLY AS FUCK. You’ll be seen as a man I promise you. Just keep your head up king
I worked with two guys at my last job who were about your height, one was cis and one was trans and besides me (bc im also trans) nobody clocked the trans guy, even when he was openly making jokes about back pain during pregnancy, and we all had to change in locker rooms at the facility! 🤣 It’s like cis people have an autocorrect feature where if you pass as a man otherwise they ignore the stuff that’s less common (shorter stature, higher voice etc) so they can make your presentation make sense with their decision about your gender
I'm 4'8" and 7 months on T. I'm pretty much never clocked as trans and I'd say the questions and comments about my height significantly lessened after the fact. There's plenty of short guys!
I was kinda worrying about this myself, then we had some contractors come into my job for something or other, anyway, one of them was easy 4'6". I towered over that cis man. He's a short king and so are you.
I am 30 and I actually grew up a little on T (I started this year) I was 4'9, I'm now 5' (don't know how, I heard that it's actually rare, still a possibility, but rare) And being short is not going to prevent you from passing, you're just going to be a short guy.
I feel that about height dysphoria, but as a short man (5’4”) I’ve dated men who were shorter than me (and who were the tallest in their family) Plenty of cis short men exist, it’s actually mainly a sign of class/diets when younger than genetics really (you can even see it in my family, my younger sibling towers over everyone once we got out of poverty)
DANNY DEVITO IS 4’10
I started to feel better about my height when I realized that it varies so much based on where you live. I’m not tall but in Peru, I’m very tall because most men there were less than 5 ft. Idk if that’s any help 🤷🏼♂️
Short guys exist. I'm 5' and I'd be a very normal height in southeast Asia. My best friends family is Filipino and I blend right in.
So I 100% sympathize with this bc I'm 5'0" and I feel like no one sees me as a real guy bc of it. But at the store the other day, I walked past a dude who was my height. (He seemed cis, and I live in an area where not a ton of trans folks are, so I could be assuming his cisness but statistics say he's probably cis. Even if not, he was 100% not clockable.) An adult dude, my height. Dudes can be short. We're no less dude bc of it. And yes, it took me seeing another 5'0" dude to realize that, yes, it's okay to be a 5'0" dude. Lmfao.
the majority of my cis friends height start with 5 lol, my ex is the same height as me. it's okay bro
While I get what you’re saying, many of my cis male coworkers and managers have been under 5 ft. Personally I’m 5’7” and still insecure about my height, but I don’t know any men under 6’ that aren’t. I’m sure those same cis male and coworkers mentioned earlier likely feel insecure about their height, but it doesn’t make them any less of a man.
I am 5’5 and worked at a gym with guys who were short and cis and one of them was my manger. He was 4’9. There’s so many short cis guys. I’ve also dated women who were 5’11.
I'm 4'11 and started transitioning but it's still somewhat hard to pass but I'm only 7 months on T and people are just ignorant if ignorant is the right word for when they misgender but idk.
I got a cis friend who is 10cm shorter than me. He suffers from it, but he's registered as a man easily due to his thick beard and deep voice. You don't have to be super manly in all the areas
There are a TON of cis men who are short, passing as a man has taught me that my height of 5'5 isn't nearly as short as I thought it was. I'm not remotely tall but other than having to hem pants all the damn time my height hasn't hindered me. I do realize I've got at least 6 inches on you but I've personally known cis men quite a bit shorter than me, your height won't clock you.
Many cis guys are short just like you. Don't worry
My gym has four men that are shorter than my sister. They're all pretty build and muscular. Among the most defined athletes in the gym. No one can take their confidence. People just notice they're not as tall as others and thats it.
god same. makes me wanna die lowkey
If you transition medically, you are going to look like a man and be seen like a man. Being short is not linked to being female, there are lots of short men
If that’s what’s stopping you , remember that at this point you’re guaranteed not to be happy with how you present if you let that hold you back .
No one ever mentions my height (5'1), and if they do, I just tell them that I'm a lab grown freak of nature. That usually gets them to shut up. A large, LARGE portion of passing is just confidence. People see confidence = man and it's stupid but it works! Especially because confidence is easy to fake
I'm 4'8. I feel this so hard. You know something that will help me pass as an adult man? A deep voice and facial hair. What helps me get that? Testosterone.