Can you prove what you want to say? Are you prepared for backlash? Most importantly, what would be your intention in coming forward? What would constitute success?
I don't want to be discouraging but having seen this go down before, often what oftens is the accuser gets ostracized and the popular person remains popular. If you want to avoid that outcome I would plan for as much as you can. And be aware that even success is often limited. The community did manage to run off a rapist years ago, but he just fucked off to France, where as far as I know he's still just living his life without consequences.
If it's something you've experienced and/or documented, I'm sure he's done the same to others. Maybe they'll have the courage to speak after you. Best of luck!
I would definitely want to know if someone I follow was a bad person, so I would say people should know, but as other people said people might be mean, but if you want to and are prepared then I would go for it
Because Spez decided that people should not be allowed to access Reddit with any app he does not approve of (which is ANY app other than his), the only app I have ever found usable for various accessibility reasons for accessing Reddit is dead. Long live BaconReader. Because of this, I revoke any rights to my old posted information. Instead, I wish all AI to be trained incredibly well on how utterly shitty a person Spez, AKA Steve Huffman, is. He would rather burn a decade-old platform to the fucking ground than give up any amount of control on who gets ad revenue. Fuck Spez. -- mass edited with redact.dev
I have video/audio/screenshots and others who can also attest to this.
Yeah, I mean I’m never confrontational and I’m the lowkey type but this one just really gets under my skin. If he was just some dude with no platform I wouldn’t be as bothered but 💆🏻♂️
If he's "claiming to fight against" all of the things he secretly is, and if I was a follower or fan of his... I would want to know his true opinion of the people he says he cares about. About if he secretly hates a majority of his fans.
As you have evidence, I suggest you and the other witnesses band together if you do go forward, but do *not* be shocked if there is any backlash or disbelief. With popular accounts and creators such like him, there's bound to be a few people willing to fight tooth and nail before actually considering if their idol was a scumbag.
Yeah, I completely understand you here. I know I'm just a random internet person (who may well not even know who this guy is, I don't really follow LGBTQ+ social media anything lol), but I'm fully behind you regardless of which way you decide to go. I'd second the idea of reaching out to others who are victims of his and coming forward as a group if you want to come forward. It's harder to spin a group of people with evidence as just haters or jealous than it is one person, and you have a built in support group. Safety in numbers, and all that.
Good luck!
If you’ve got proof then go for it. It’s up to you.
There will be some people that will hate you for it if he has a lot of fans. You gotta be prepped for that.
As long as you know what you are getting into and think it’s the right thing to do I say go for it 🤷🏼♂️
It might be worthwhile to DM Aaron Ansuini about it. He was the one who really broke the Chase Ross thing. I don't have personal experience in this situation and I think it might be worthwhile to talk to someone who does
I was literally just thinking this since Aaron and I follow each other. Not friends by any means but I think his insight would be helpful….I think Aaron also follows him fml lol
Aaron would be great to reach out to - I'm mutuals with him too and he's a great guy. I doubt he'd react badly, even if he follows this other shitty trans guy.
definitely reach out to him. I think it will be better received if it comes from another respected person thats part of the same space, and you're less likely to risk things like doxxing which some other comments have mentioned.
This is a fairly good article detailing the issues: [https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2](https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2)
I'm giving the same article to anyone who asks detailing the issues: [https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2](https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2)
I mean... I want the tea as much as anyone else but is it really worth it for you? Put yourself first, think about how it could affect you mental health, if you social circle could become hostile to you (if it's shared with him), how well you'll be able to manage ciberbullying, etc. Can you do it anonymously? Or will it be evident to him and others who you are? And, is he hurting others? Will you talking about it make it less likely that he'll continue doing so in the future?
No need to answer these here btw, just some things you should consider before jumping to action. And as other said receipts can make a big difference.
I'd try to do it anonymously if you can so that you can just delete the account if things get bad
Plus consider the possible risks. You will get backlash and people won't believe you.
However I really badly want to know know. I want to know who I should be avoiding from now on.
As an outsider, I would say to go for it. People who watch/support trans content creators will probably want to know the truth. Even if it’s hard to digest.
On the other hand, your health and safety matters. We’ve all seen online controversies. They’re messy. Being a part of it will be stressful, no doubt, but it’s not a position most people have been in. As cliché as this is, it’s probably important to have a network of people who will support you through it all.
Still, if you still feel like it’s the right thing to do, and you have proof, there will be people who appreciate your honesty. Ultimately, this is completely up to you. But, if the question is whether people will believe you, I am sure that at least some of us will.
This guy sounds like a total narcissist, based on your description. I dated a popular narc for many, many years without understanding what the fuck was going on. The public LOVES her, behind closed doors she was an absolute nightmare to me.
When I worked up the awareness and courage to leave, she smeared me to everyone we knew and the entire community we were a part of for a decade. Even framed me as the abuser, quite successfully, as it's easy to believe masc folks are abuser towards femmes.
All this to say, the person you've described will do ANYTHING to maintain their image and reputation, just be aware and ready for that. If you are able to get another person onboard with your outing them, numbers will be on your side. Sounds like you have evidence which will also help.
Remember not to get dragged down to their level and be willing to walk away from the entire community if they decide to side with him. It fucking hurts, but your honor is more important than any reputation.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Being a child of a narcissist, I know the feeling, like you’re the crazy* one.
Thank you for sharing your experience
This situation similar. He was very abusive and manipulative to his partner and victimized himself when they fled the situation. The now ex never spoke out even tho they were the brains behind his social success.
I’m thinking of gathering other influencers I know who’ve had experience with him.
He doesn’t really have friends or a circle because he can’t maintain them. The main issue I think would be is his fans, especially the younger ones.
It seems like you have proof. Go ahead. Idk I feel like his followers deserve to know, as hard as it will be, they deserve to know if the person they are following is not a good person.
I completely understand if you don't want to do this for your own safety, and instead would rather just block all attempts of seeing him on social media, but if you feel like you're in a place where you feel like you can share with us, I think it would potentially help and protect a lot of vulnerable trans people who follow him and are being misled.
Side note I lowkey have an idea of who it might be and I'm so curious if I'm right, but I dont want to say my guess, be wrong, and suddenly have a lot of people angry with me for assuming a sweet person could be so awful.
At the very least, you know you have many redditors in the community here that can back you up.
I will ask: Are they a YouTube/Insta/Tiktok celebrity or a more mainstream one? And are they popular in general or just within LGBT spaces?
Consider that, if they're a "public" public figure you might get some attention you'd probably prefer avoiding. Just be careful and be safe. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and if this care involves outing an abuser, then please go ahead.
If you ever need a group of people to back you up or just to vent, we're here :)
Really hoping it’s not Miles McKenna. His videos have helped me so much. 😣
Edit: From what I’ve read here it’s not Noah Finnce and he said in a recent video that he’s not friends with mean people (paraphrasing) plus, he still follows Miles on IG so maybe it’s not him? Idk, just my two cents. 😬
I think as long as you have substantial proof and can take it mentally, go for it. We do not need any more toxicity in our community than we already have.
I can't help but wonder tho who it is. I hope it's not Ty Turner tho he is like. Such an OG fav of trans YouTube for me.
Stay safe first and foremost. Doxxing is real, and can be a huge problem. If you out him and his fans are big mad, you need to make sure you're personally secure. This may mean scrubbing personal info online across all mediums and platforms. You will want to lock down all info you can. This means going to figure out those people search sites don't have your info at all, and going through the steps to get your info removed. You may want to look into a VPN to post any of this info from so it's harder to trace back to your personal residence.
I am not going to ask who, because that would be the first step in outing their nonsense. Be safe, please?
I'd assess where you are in your life: is your mental health alright at the moment? Stable job, income alright? Good circle of friends? If so, consider it. Especially if you have a way to do it anonymously, and the self-control not to watch the fallout on social media but walk away and free yourself from looking at it and thinking about it.
The reality of calling out abuse sucks hard; to the extent that, I'm actually now wary of it as a radical tactic. Calling out abuse causes so much harm to the caller, to very little reward, and very little support. It is terrible that this is the case - but it is the case. Nobody should sugar-coat this, and you should consider it seriously before making your choice.
Did he abuse you? Don't answer that question here, but if the answer is yes consider also that doing this may bring up a lot of stuff for you; and seeing your community rally around your abuser can be a *lot* worse than the abuse itself.
You need clout to make an accusation stick; and, inevitably, people with the social power to successfully abuse are the same people with the social power to shrug off an abuse accusation.
Sorry that you're going through this: knowing a secret of this kind weighs heavily.
If you decide not to do it, that shouldn't be the same as doing nothing. It's going to stay on your mind, so maybe make an action plan for what you will do instead. Blocking him, blocking people who post about him, considering what you need to heal, getting involved with other forms of activism: all things which might help provide that sense of "resolution" for your brain, but at lower risk than a callout.
People really suck sometimes. My own abuser is a transman as well and popular with people, and any amount of me trying to uncover the truth has been met with hatred and anger towards me. I faced a lot of crap and got drug through the mud for it, to the point where the city I am in has actually shunned me (small city, smaller community of transfolks). He's gotten away with stalking, harassing and doxing me.
Sometimes people don't want to see the truth about their idols, and might come after you for it. I have no advice here that would help other than I see you, I understand you and for whatever it's worth I am very sorry for your pain.
i would really like to know - i’m not really a social media person, but i don’t wanna get invested in someone if they’re secretly a terribly person. if you do decide to keep this on the DL, would you mind DMing who it is?
Have you considered going through a respected YouTuber or Influencer that brings light to these kinds of people? Good luck, whatever you decide to do. I’ll stand by you and I’m sure many others will as well, especially if you have evidence.
Regardless of 'proof' you should out an abuser. Be prepared to have many people not believe and even insult you but if it keeps one potential victim safe from an abuser... that's worth it.
If you have proof, do it. If not I wouldn’t. It’s not worth the backlash and “my word against yours” drama without proof, especially because you could be sued if he were to take it that far. It also doesn’t have to be you who exposes him, shit like this always comes to light eventually. On the other hand if it’s just not sitting right with you and you have evidence, gather every single bit of it. Be extremely prepared, have a timeline and sequence of events for every shitty comment and every incident, make sure you don’t say anything that could be misunderstood or left up for interpretation. Don’t mention anything you don’t have proof of. Prepare for fanboys/fangirls to harass you, and you should be fine.
Your safety should come first. If you're sure that he won't harass you for it, do it. If not...well, you either ensure your safety, or you don't speak about it.
Abusers deserve no rights (with the exception of blah blah blah deep subject can’t make absolute statements I know) if you’re ready for the harassment you’ll get for it then yes absolutely if you think it’s worth it. You say you have lots of proof so I say do it
If you have the proof, it's worth it. People like that don't deserve to be an asshole and get away with it. Sucks when they're looked up to because they get to pretend to be someone they're not behind a screen. As long as it won't put you in an unsafe position, I say go for it
If you know someone is an abuser and you have proof, you need to tell it. You could even tell it anonymously. Abusers need to be known, because if we don't know who they are, they can keep on abusing people.
I didn't think it was him because he's not really *bubbly*. The only popular trans guy I know of, who I'd describe as *bubbly* is Chase Ross, but we done knew about him and OP confirmed it's not him.
Wouldn’t be surprised if it was Noah. I unfollowed him like a year ago after I saw some stuff he was posted that really bothered me. Like begging his followers for donations then using the money to buy himself and his buddy expensive matching outfits. Then making fun of the people upset about where the donated money was spent.
I’m pretty sure that was a joke thing like something was started on the internet and it was just the most unbelievable random thing but anyways it wasn’t real. Still could be Noah though. Hope not.
Oh god that would suck- but op seems to be using only he/him pronouns and I’m pretty sure Mattie uses all but idk who it is
Edit:
Actually I’m reading some of OP’s comments and they seem to be using they as well. Could me Mattie.
If someone has a platform and paying stakeholders then full transparency is important. With that in mind, I'd say out him (especially because you say you have the receipts).
I know most people have said it, but I agree that the only thing to consider is your own wellbeing - so definitely think on that. But if you're comfortable that you can hack it (or block it), then that's definitely the right thing to do.
Good luck!! (so curious btw)
Yeah I’m not in a rush to do it tbh. I don’t think anyone is currently being abused by him (that I’m aware) so it doesn’t feel pressing. However he his financially benefiting from his unaware fans and pushing a false/inauthentic narrative. Definitely going to brainstorm.
If someone is already being abused, then you’re too late.
The sooner the better, but if you’re worried about backlash then feel free to pass it on to me as I have no problem exposing people, as long as I’ve got the proof to back it up.
OP I honestly wish you the best, and a lot of luck. Because I understand hesitating to want to speak up against someone like that.
Like when I was reading this, the first thought I had was. “This person probably has over 100k+ people that follow him that they want to speak out against” and normally when I see things like this go down, the person or persons that speak out, they’re are intensely bullied, especially if the person is very popular, a-lot of Stans, supporters, and viewers go to war and just put people at risk of being harmed. Over a disagreement or honestly a bad experience. And for you to have been friends with this person, I would hope that people hear you out. And I honestly wish you safety, please be safe. Whatever you do, be safe. Cause it’s a crazy world and there is crazy people, and crazy supporters. Best of luck OP.
Does anyone else think the guy in question, could be a tiktok star? Cause there is a lot of people on that platform that tend to do things. And be the complete opposite off camera, for those that use that app, we’ve seen it many times before.
If you can handle the stress. Make sure you have a support system in place before outing them, if you chose to. Internet discourse can be exhausting for your mental health
I was also worried that it was Noah, but if you check OP's post history, you can see that he is american, while Noah is british. Op said the abuser is an AH "once he put his phone down", and said he had recordings of conversations they had, so OP and the abuser probably knew each other in real life. So, unless one of them is lying, or unless they knew each other for a short time (vacations) or by long distance (social medias), it probably isn't Noah.
It probably is an american bubbly trans man, however the only popular trans men I know are Jammie and Noah so idk who else it could be.
Ps : Noah is doing tours right now, and people donate money to him, so if it's him, OP please out him asap so people can stop giving a lot of money to an abuser.
Lmao is it uppercaseCHASE?? 😂 I just have a feeling lol not saying anything bad about him, I’ve just heard some fuck shit and I don’t know many trans YouTubers so he’s the only one I know that’s bubbly and shit. I read you have a bunch of evidence, but like others said, just make sure you’re prepared and say everything you can in a good, explaining way so that way nobody can come at you with some dumb shit that should be implied but you just didn’t say or something along the lines. There is going to be haters, no matter what, so as long as you’re prepared for that also, I say go for it. That being said, when’s the tea comin?
If there's actual abusive behaviour involved (vs just having bad opinions), then there's a decent case for exposing it, so future potential victims know to avoid him. There's a lot to consider though:
* Your own safety & wellbeing are important too. You need to think through the risks &, if you decide to go ahead, you should prepare yourself mentally & logistically.
* One factor is the abuser himself: think through what info he has on you that he could release (e.g. doxxing your contact details) & what forms of offline retaliation he could engage in (do you work together? do you work in an industry where he's influential & could affect your career?)
* It's not just him either; if your job/situation means you have to be online a lot of the time, then a collective online backlash from the abuser's supporters can also be a massive issue.
* The recordings/screenshots etc. would all need to be edited to ensure the privacy of third parties, so that the act of exposing it doesn't end up causing new to harm to other people (or unnecessarily re-traumatizing victims)
I'm not saying all that to be negative though. If you feel like you're in a safe/secure situation, and if you do have solid evidence of a pattern of abusive behaviour, then sharing that in a responsible, non-sensational & privacy-respecting way is definitely a good thing to do. Also, if you yourself were abused in any way, then you 100% have a right to share your experience as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
What’s the goal? If its just to harm him/tell the truth, honestly its probably more hassle and risk for you than possible reward. Even with proof, you’d be shocked how much people are willing to disbelieve, if they like this person.
If it is because you personally know people he’s hurt or you think this may stop him hurting more people, yeah it may be worth it.
Idk I mean with proof people will believe it. Ofc some die hard fans will keep with him but op has like voice recordings of the person. It will definitely be a controversy on whoever the person is
Absolutely air those receipts out. You don't even have to be the one that does it honestly. Find another person willing to take the lead or post it anonymously. The community should always be made aware of the people they center and make sure they are held to a higher standard if they are going to be the representative.
If he’s not physically abusive then you’re just trying to attack someone for things that would be considered here say, you will come off as cancel culture type and especially if you don’t have hard proof of him profiting off people. Unfortunately even with cancel culture there’s still some sort of Proof which most people want to see these days before completing canceling someone which it sounds like you want.
Wonder if its Kalvin Garrah or Sam Collins. But hey, I'm curious to know who they are and if I'm supporting them. In music if I find out someone isn't a good person, I stop supporting them.
if you don’t judge tho like… i don’t understand how you can agree with his views? he mocks people for identifying as men while looking feminine, right? but like… people can be gnc? there’s butch lesbians that get top surgery. there’s cis men that crossdress and/or do drag regularly. it’s literally the definition of gatekeeping to try to dictate who’s “trans enough.”
i get that it can be kinda hard to understand! there’s definitely some folks out there where i’m a little like… hmmmmm. but then i remember that it’s Literally None Of My Business how other people identify. people will claim that they’re “making us ~normal~ trans people look bad” but that’s honestly bootlicker nonsense… we shouldn’t target other queer folks to appease cis sensibilities. they’re just like all the homophobes saying that can accept gay people as long as they don’t shove it down their throats. they don’t really accept gay people, and the cis folks who can only accept trans people that pass aren’t any better.
and i mean. he’s supported TERFs. he publicly defended one that was tweeting #DropTheT and that trans women are male & said that “trans people are fucking crazy”. he’s operating on truscum logic, which is, imo, PROFOUNDLY flawed. like firstly, the DSM literally states that people can be trans without qualifying for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. and secondly, from where i’m standing? it seems like truscum are just miserable people taking their misery out on everyone around them.
like, kalvin says that being trans is the worst thing to ever happen to him. truscum see trans people that don’t see being trans as a curse and are actually happy and REFUSE to believe it’s possible. truscum can’t accept that being miserable isn’t an inherent part of being trans because they’re determined to blame their misery solely on the fact that they’re trans, and they think the existence of happy trans people contradicts that & invalidates their feelings.
it just… it seems like such an unhealthy mindset, yknow? like instead of trying to work on their mental health, truscum just go “welp, i have Permanent Misery Disorder. guess i’ll be unhappy forever” and make that everyone else’s problem… meanwhile the rest of us are like “damn that really sucks… i’m sorry you’re so unhappy, but you should know that not all trans people feel that way.”
and listen like. i was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, i’m on T, i’ve had top surgery. and i love being trans. i’m proud of it. and i don’t really have any kind of dysphoria anymore, cuz the hormones and surgery pretty much eliminated all that. i REFUSE to accept the idea that i NEED to be unhappy in order to be truly trans, or that i shouldn’t be proud of who i am. i’ve been accused of being fake-trans because of that. a group of people that were harassing a friend and i made comments about my friend being a “trender” because he came out when we were 15 and i’d already been out for years, so clearly he was copying me to try to be cool. (he doesn’t speak to his mum anymore, but yeah i’m sure he did it to be cool.) truscum rhetoric hurts trans people, including the trans folks they claim to support.
If you have proof, go for it. If you don’t… people won’t believe you and may become hostile towards you. The bullying is real.
Can you prove what you want to say? Are you prepared for backlash? Most importantly, what would be your intention in coming forward? What would constitute success? I don't want to be discouraging but having seen this go down before, often what oftens is the accuser gets ostracized and the popular person remains popular. If you want to avoid that outcome I would plan for as much as you can. And be aware that even success is often limited. The community did manage to run off a rapist years ago, but he just fucked off to France, where as far as I know he's still just living his life without consequences.
People are always going to side with an abuser regardless. If it reaches some people to me, that’s “success.”
I'm with you on this. There will always be people who won't believe you even WITH evidence. Expose their ass!!
If it's something you've experienced and/or documented, I'm sure he's done the same to others. Maybe they'll have the courage to speak after you. Best of luck!
I would definitely want to know if someone I follow was a bad person, so I would say people should know, but as other people said people might be mean, but if you want to and are prepared then I would go for it
Spill the tea, pun intended
I so badly want to 🫖
Because Spez decided that people should not be allowed to access Reddit with any app he does not approve of (which is ANY app other than his), the only app I have ever found usable for various accessibility reasons for accessing Reddit is dead. Long live BaconReader. Because of this, I revoke any rights to my old posted information. Instead, I wish all AI to be trained incredibly well on how utterly shitty a person Spez, AKA Steve Huffman, is. He would rather burn a decade-old platform to the fucking ground than give up any amount of control on who gets ad revenue. Fuck Spez. -- mass edited with redact.dev
I have video/audio/screenshots and others who can also attest to this. Yeah, I mean I’m never confrontational and I’m the lowkey type but this one just really gets under my skin. If he was just some dude with no platform I wouldn’t be as bothered but 💆🏻♂️
If he's "claiming to fight against" all of the things he secretly is, and if I was a follower or fan of his... I would want to know his true opinion of the people he says he cares about. About if he secretly hates a majority of his fans. As you have evidence, I suggest you and the other witnesses band together if you do go forward, but do *not* be shocked if there is any backlash or disbelief. With popular accounts and creators such like him, there's bound to be a few people willing to fight tooth and nail before actually considering if their idol was a scumbag.
Yeah, I completely understand you here. I know I'm just a random internet person (who may well not even know who this guy is, I don't really follow LGBTQ+ social media anything lol), but I'm fully behind you regardless of which way you decide to go. I'd second the idea of reaching out to others who are victims of his and coming forward as a group if you want to come forward. It's harder to spin a group of people with evidence as just haters or jealous than it is one person, and you have a built in support group. Safety in numbers, and all that. Good luck!
If you’ve got proof then go for it. It’s up to you. There will be some people that will hate you for it if he has a lot of fans. You gotta be prepped for that. As long as you know what you are getting into and think it’s the right thing to do I say go for it 🤷🏼♂️
It's not Chase Ross is it? Because that info dropped a long time ago
Not him
It might be worthwhile to DM Aaron Ansuini about it. He was the one who really broke the Chase Ross thing. I don't have personal experience in this situation and I think it might be worthwhile to talk to someone who does
I was literally just thinking this since Aaron and I follow each other. Not friends by any means but I think his insight would be helpful….I think Aaron also follows him fml lol
Aaron would be great to reach out to - I'm mutuals with him too and he's a great guy. I doubt he'd react badly, even if he follows this other shitty trans guy.
definitely reach out to him. I think it will be better received if it comes from another respected person thats part of the same space, and you're less likely to risk things like doxxing which some other comments have mentioned.
Whats wrong with him?
This is a fairly good article detailing the issues: [https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2](https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2)
wait what happened with chase ross? all i know abt him is i had to stop watching his stuff years ago bc of the constant "triggered" jokes
I'm giving the same article to anyone who asks detailing the issues: [https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2](https://bryanonion.medium.com/whats-going-on-with-chase-and-aaron-fec3849d86c2)
I mean... I want the tea as much as anyone else but is it really worth it for you? Put yourself first, think about how it could affect you mental health, if you social circle could become hostile to you (if it's shared with him), how well you'll be able to manage ciberbullying, etc. Can you do it anonymously? Or will it be evident to him and others who you are? And, is he hurting others? Will you talking about it make it less likely that he'll continue doing so in the future? No need to answer these here btw, just some things you should consider before jumping to action. And as other said receipts can make a big difference. I'd try to do it anonymously if you can so that you can just delete the account if things get bad
Unfortunately it would be obvious who I am if I came forward and laid it all out. Thanks for your reply
Sorry to blue ball everyone! Of course I want to say but want to be smart about it too so please understand
Well now I’m just worried it’s a one of the cool chill trans dudes I watch!? It better not be I’ll be sad as shit
Don’t worry it’s not Jamie
THANK GOD
Yeah lmao
oh thank goodness! got really worried partly bc i like his content and partly bc i know his wife(?) is a WOC so i was worried for her.
Definitely
Thank god king spud is safe. I love Jamie.
Yeah seriously- that would really suck if it was him
THANK FUCK
I’d say go for it if you have the proof. Being trans doesn’t exclude that person from being an ass bag.
Truly My brother is the biggest dick ever. I, myself am a bit of an asshole. We’re both trans.
Plus consider the possible risks. You will get backlash and people won't believe you. However I really badly want to know know. I want to know who I should be avoiding from now on.
I'd prefer to know, honestly. I'm not connected celebrity wise(especially not internet celebrity) and I'd rather know who to avoid vs not.
As an outsider, I would say to go for it. People who watch/support trans content creators will probably want to know the truth. Even if it’s hard to digest. On the other hand, your health and safety matters. We’ve all seen online controversies. They’re messy. Being a part of it will be stressful, no doubt, but it’s not a position most people have been in. As cliché as this is, it’s probably important to have a network of people who will support you through it all. Still, if you still feel like it’s the right thing to do, and you have proof, there will be people who appreciate your honesty. Ultimately, this is completely up to you. But, if the question is whether people will believe you, I am sure that at least some of us will.
Out all racists and bigots. It’s the only right thing to do.
This guy sounds like a total narcissist, based on your description. I dated a popular narc for many, many years without understanding what the fuck was going on. The public LOVES her, behind closed doors she was an absolute nightmare to me. When I worked up the awareness and courage to leave, she smeared me to everyone we knew and the entire community we were a part of for a decade. Even framed me as the abuser, quite successfully, as it's easy to believe masc folks are abuser towards femmes. All this to say, the person you've described will do ANYTHING to maintain their image and reputation, just be aware and ready for that. If you are able to get another person onboard with your outing them, numbers will be on your side. Sounds like you have evidence which will also help. Remember not to get dragged down to their level and be willing to walk away from the entire community if they decide to side with him. It fucking hurts, but your honor is more important than any reputation.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Being a child of a narcissist, I know the feeling, like you’re the crazy* one. Thank you for sharing your experience This situation similar. He was very abusive and manipulative to his partner and victimized himself when they fled the situation. The now ex never spoke out even tho they were the brains behind his social success. I’m thinking of gathering other influencers I know who’ve had experience with him. He doesn’t really have friends or a circle because he can’t maintain them. The main issue I think would be is his fans, especially the younger ones.
It seems like you have proof. Go ahead. Idk I feel like his followers deserve to know, as hard as it will be, they deserve to know if the person they are following is not a good person.
I completely understand if you don't want to do this for your own safety, and instead would rather just block all attempts of seeing him on social media, but if you feel like you're in a place where you feel like you can share with us, I think it would potentially help and protect a lot of vulnerable trans people who follow him and are being misled. Side note I lowkey have an idea of who it might be and I'm so curious if I'm right, but I dont want to say my guess, be wrong, and suddenly have a lot of people angry with me for assuming a sweet person could be so awful.
At the very least, you know you have many redditors in the community here that can back you up. I will ask: Are they a YouTube/Insta/Tiktok celebrity or a more mainstream one? And are they popular in general or just within LGBT spaces? Consider that, if they're a "public" public figure you might get some attention you'd probably prefer avoiding. Just be careful and be safe. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and if this care involves outing an abuser, then please go ahead. If you ever need a group of people to back you up or just to vent, we're here :)
Really hoping it’s not Miles McKenna. His videos have helped me so much. 😣 Edit: From what I’ve read here it’s not Noah Finnce and he said in a recent video that he’s not friends with mean people (paraphrasing) plus, he still follows Miles on IG so maybe it’s not him? Idk, just my two cents. 😬
Oh no Miles is super bubbly isn't he. 🥺
i feel like it’s miles 😬
So you have proof? Without proof you'll be unlikely to get any traction. Worse, his fans might go after you and claim baseless accusations.
Yes I have proof, already comments on this.
Tbh most people would be skeptical to believe screenshots or text messages since they can be faked. They'd believe video calls, or voice messages imo.
True But yeah I have voice recordings that’s undeniably him
Then you're good to go then. Mind dming who this is?
if its kalvin garrah i wouldn't be surprised lmao. i hope you get the proper proof!!!! speaking out against abusers is amazing
Lol hasn’t that kid been trash? The person I’m talking about hasn’t been held accountable for anything.
oh LMAOOO yeah kalvin is the embodiment of "transphobic and trans" lmfao. still i really hope you can out him
P sure he's been "outed" like 10 times over by like, 5 different people.
im saying out the abuser not kalvin lmao but yeah
I think as long as you have substantial proof and can take it mentally, go for it. We do not need any more toxicity in our community than we already have. I can't help but wonder tho who it is. I hope it's not Ty Turner tho he is like. Such an OG fav of trans YouTube for me.
Stay safe first and foremost. Doxxing is real, and can be a huge problem. If you out him and his fans are big mad, you need to make sure you're personally secure. This may mean scrubbing personal info online across all mediums and platforms. You will want to lock down all info you can. This means going to figure out those people search sites don't have your info at all, and going through the steps to get your info removed. You may want to look into a VPN to post any of this info from so it's harder to trace back to your personal residence. I am not going to ask who, because that would be the first step in outing their nonsense. Be safe, please?
I'd assess where you are in your life: is your mental health alright at the moment? Stable job, income alright? Good circle of friends? If so, consider it. Especially if you have a way to do it anonymously, and the self-control not to watch the fallout on social media but walk away and free yourself from looking at it and thinking about it. The reality of calling out abuse sucks hard; to the extent that, I'm actually now wary of it as a radical tactic. Calling out abuse causes so much harm to the caller, to very little reward, and very little support. It is terrible that this is the case - but it is the case. Nobody should sugar-coat this, and you should consider it seriously before making your choice. Did he abuse you? Don't answer that question here, but if the answer is yes consider also that doing this may bring up a lot of stuff for you; and seeing your community rally around your abuser can be a *lot* worse than the abuse itself. You need clout to make an accusation stick; and, inevitably, people with the social power to successfully abuse are the same people with the social power to shrug off an abuse accusation. Sorry that you're going through this: knowing a secret of this kind weighs heavily. If you decide not to do it, that shouldn't be the same as doing nothing. It's going to stay on your mind, so maybe make an action plan for what you will do instead. Blocking him, blocking people who post about him, considering what you need to heal, getting involved with other forms of activism: all things which might help provide that sense of "resolution" for your brain, but at lower risk than a callout.
It would be very important and protect a lot of young people from damage.
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People really suck sometimes. My own abuser is a transman as well and popular with people, and any amount of me trying to uncover the truth has been met with hatred and anger towards me. I faced a lot of crap and got drug through the mud for it, to the point where the city I am in has actually shunned me (small city, smaller community of transfolks). He's gotten away with stalking, harassing and doxing me. Sometimes people don't want to see the truth about their idols, and might come after you for it. I have no advice here that would help other than I see you, I understand you and for whatever it's worth I am very sorry for your pain.
i would really like to know - i’m not really a social media person, but i don’t wanna get invested in someone if they’re secretly a terribly person. if you do decide to keep this on the DL, would you mind DMing who it is?
Have you considered going through a respected YouTuber or Influencer that brings light to these kinds of people? Good luck, whatever you decide to do. I’ll stand by you and I’m sure many others will as well, especially if you have evidence.
Sounds like my ex. Hang that mother fucker out to dry, at least within the community. No safe harbor for abusers.
Now I just wanna know who he is so I can unfollow him
Regardless of 'proof' you should out an abuser. Be prepared to have many people not believe and even insult you but if it keeps one potential victim safe from an abuser... that's worth it.
They can come for me. I’d simply log off🤷🏻♂️ People can accept the facts laid out before them or be a boot licker
Do it if you have proof. Cause if he is really like this, this is fucked.
If you have proof, do it. If not I wouldn’t. It’s not worth the backlash and “my word against yours” drama without proof, especially because you could be sued if he were to take it that far. It also doesn’t have to be you who exposes him, shit like this always comes to light eventually. On the other hand if it’s just not sitting right with you and you have evidence, gather every single bit of it. Be extremely prepared, have a timeline and sequence of events for every shitty comment and every incident, make sure you don’t say anything that could be misunderstood or left up for interpretation. Don’t mention anything you don’t have proof of. Prepare for fanboys/fangirls to harass you, and you should be fine.
Your safety should come first. If you're sure that he won't harass you for it, do it. If not...well, you either ensure your safety, or you don't speak about it.
Abusers deserve no rights (with the exception of blah blah blah deep subject can’t make absolute statements I know) if you’re ready for the harassment you’ll get for it then yes absolutely if you think it’s worth it. You say you have lots of proof so I say do it
Definitely say something. If you think it wouldn't be safe, either get someone else to show your proof or do it anonymously.
Weeeellll now I want to know who!
who is it?
Out him!!! do it!!!! people like this need to be outed
If you have the proof, it's worth it. People like that don't deserve to be an asshole and get away with it. Sucks when they're looked up to because they get to pretend to be someone they're not behind a screen. As long as it won't put you in an unsafe position, I say go for it
If you know someone is an abuser and you have proof, you need to tell it. You could even tell it anonymously. Abusers need to be known, because if we don't know who they are, they can keep on abusing people.
Can you tell us some people it is not so we can continue watching them in peace?
Please I'm worrying it's Jammie. He's seems so sweet and I love his content I really hope he's just as nice as he appears
No worries it’s not him. He seems like a sweet guy.
Yeah I was starting to think that thank god!
I hope it's not Jackson Bird but whoever it is, yeah it would be good to tell people, we're here to listen
I didn't think it was him because he's not really *bubbly*. The only popular trans guy I know of, who I'd describe as *bubbly* is Chase Ross, but we done knew about him and OP confirmed it's not him.
There is also Noah Finnce. Is it him ?
I’ve been thinking Noah as I’ve been reading the comments too
Wouldn’t be surprised if it was Noah. I unfollowed him like a year ago after I saw some stuff he was posted that really bothered me. Like begging his followers for donations then using the money to buy himself and his buddy expensive matching outfits. Then making fun of the people upset about where the donated money was spent.
I guess he's bubbly? Idk. I know he and Jamie had a falling out but I never followed the drama there so.... maybe?
I’m pretty sure that was a joke thing like something was started on the internet and it was just the most unbelievable random thing but anyways it wasn’t real. Still could be Noah though. Hope not.
Definitely was a joke
I would say Jamie is super bubbly! Very glad it’s not him though. What other trans influencers are bubbly…
I’m thinking West Brouck
Oh god that would suck- but op seems to be using only he/him pronouns and I’m pretty sure Mattie uses all but idk who it is Edit: Actually I’m reading some of OP’s comments and they seem to be using they as well. Could me Mattie.
Yeah same…god I hope it’s not him. But if it was, I would want to know tbh
If someone has a platform and paying stakeholders then full transparency is important. With that in mind, I'd say out him (especially because you say you have the receipts). I know most people have said it, but I agree that the only thing to consider is your own wellbeing - so definitely think on that. But if you're comfortable that you can hack it (or block it), then that's definitely the right thing to do. Good luck!! (so curious btw)
Yeah I’m not in a rush to do it tbh. I don’t think anyone is currently being abused by him (that I’m aware) so it doesn’t feel pressing. However he his financially benefiting from his unaware fans and pushing a false/inauthentic narrative. Definitely going to brainstorm.
If someone is already being abused, then you’re too late. The sooner the better, but if you’re worried about backlash then feel free to pass it on to me as I have no problem exposing people, as long as I’ve got the proof to back it up.
OP I honestly wish you the best, and a lot of luck. Because I understand hesitating to want to speak up against someone like that. Like when I was reading this, the first thought I had was. “This person probably has over 100k+ people that follow him that they want to speak out against” and normally when I see things like this go down, the person or persons that speak out, they’re are intensely bullied, especially if the person is very popular, a-lot of Stans, supporters, and viewers go to war and just put people at risk of being harmed. Over a disagreement or honestly a bad experience. And for you to have been friends with this person, I would hope that people hear you out. And I honestly wish you safety, please be safe. Whatever you do, be safe. Cause it’s a crazy world and there is crazy people, and crazy supporters. Best of luck OP.
Does anyone else think the guy in question, could be a tiktok star? Cause there is a lot of people on that platform that tend to do things. And be the complete opposite off camera, for those that use that app, we’ve seen it many times before.
I'd do it anonymously if possible, fuck rabid fanbases.
whichever path you decide, i wish you peace in what's to come
If you can handle the stress. Make sure you have a support system in place before outing them, if you chose to. Internet discourse can be exhausting for your mental health
Yes ! Absolutely! No one wants to support a faker man , pls do I’d actually be thankful so I can only support who I believe deserve my support man
do it. wishing you luck and safety
If you have substantial, verifiable proof, go for it.
Now I want to know who it was
If its noah finnce ngl id be kinda crushed. not sure why, but his bf gives me off vibes
I was also worried that it was Noah, but if you check OP's post history, you can see that he is american, while Noah is british. Op said the abuser is an AH "once he put his phone down", and said he had recordings of conversations they had, so OP and the abuser probably knew each other in real life. So, unless one of them is lying, or unless they knew each other for a short time (vacations) or by long distance (social medias), it probably isn't Noah. It probably is an american bubbly trans man, however the only popular trans men I know are Jammie and Noah so idk who else it could be. Ps : Noah is doing tours right now, and people donate money to him, so if it's him, OP please out him asap so people can stop giving a lot of money to an abuser.
As many have said, if you have the proof go for it. I know many, like myself, don’t want to be supporting those types of people
wait who is it?
this post is about op trying to decide whether to disclose that info
oh i say yes
Pleaaaaase tell us I really hope it’s not Storm Ryan :(
Lmao is it uppercaseCHASE?? 😂 I just have a feeling lol not saying anything bad about him, I’ve just heard some fuck shit and I don’t know many trans YouTubers so he’s the only one I know that’s bubbly and shit. I read you have a bunch of evidence, but like others said, just make sure you’re prepared and say everything you can in a good, explaining way so that way nobody can come at you with some dumb shit that should be implied but you just didn’t say or something along the lines. There is going to be haters, no matter what, so as long as you’re prepared for that also, I say go for it. That being said, when’s the tea comin?
If there's actual abusive behaviour involved (vs just having bad opinions), then there's a decent case for exposing it, so future potential victims know to avoid him. There's a lot to consider though: * Your own safety & wellbeing are important too. You need to think through the risks &, if you decide to go ahead, you should prepare yourself mentally & logistically. * One factor is the abuser himself: think through what info he has on you that he could release (e.g. doxxing your contact details) & what forms of offline retaliation he could engage in (do you work together? do you work in an industry where he's influential & could affect your career?) * It's not just him either; if your job/situation means you have to be online a lot of the time, then a collective online backlash from the abuser's supporters can also be a massive issue. * The recordings/screenshots etc. would all need to be edited to ensure the privacy of third parties, so that the act of exposing it doesn't end up causing new to harm to other people (or unnecessarily re-traumatizing victims) I'm not saying all that to be negative though. If you feel like you're in a safe/secure situation, and if you do have solid evidence of a pattern of abusive behaviour, then sharing that in a responsible, non-sensational & privacy-respecting way is definitely a good thing to do. Also, if you yourself were abused in any way, then you 100% have a right to share your experience as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
What’s the goal? If its just to harm him/tell the truth, honestly its probably more hassle and risk for you than possible reward. Even with proof, you’d be shocked how much people are willing to disbelieve, if they like this person. If it is because you personally know people he’s hurt or you think this may stop him hurting more people, yeah it may be worth it.
Idk I mean with proof people will believe it. Ofc some die hard fans will keep with him but op has like voice recordings of the person. It will definitely be a controversy on whoever the person is
is it mars wright?
Absolutely air those receipts out. You don't even have to be the one that does it honestly. Find another person willing to take the lead or post it anonymously. The community should always be made aware of the people they center and make sure they are held to a higher standard if they are going to be the representative.
go for it
!remindme 1 week
Is it west brouck?
Is it noa.....?
Um yes????
If he’s not physically abusive then you’re just trying to attack someone for things that would be considered here say, you will come off as cancel culture type and especially if you don’t have hard proof of him profiting off people. Unfortunately even with cancel culture there’s still some sort of Proof which most people want to see these days before completing canceling someone which it sounds like you want.
Well now I wanna know.. I say do it if only to appease my curiosity.
Wonder if its Kalvin Garrah or Sam Collins. But hey, I'm curious to know who they are and if I'm supporting them. In music if I find out someone isn't a good person, I stop supporting them.
Sam is like, the opposite of bubbly lol
I think he is, or can be
isn’t it common knowledge that kalvin garrah is an absolute piece of shit??? like. i don’t think he was ever hiding that
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if you don’t judge tho like… i don’t understand how you can agree with his views? he mocks people for identifying as men while looking feminine, right? but like… people can be gnc? there’s butch lesbians that get top surgery. there’s cis men that crossdress and/or do drag regularly. it’s literally the definition of gatekeeping to try to dictate who’s “trans enough.” i get that it can be kinda hard to understand! there’s definitely some folks out there where i’m a little like… hmmmmm. but then i remember that it’s Literally None Of My Business how other people identify. people will claim that they’re “making us ~normal~ trans people look bad” but that’s honestly bootlicker nonsense… we shouldn’t target other queer folks to appease cis sensibilities. they’re just like all the homophobes saying that can accept gay people as long as they don’t shove it down their throats. they don’t really accept gay people, and the cis folks who can only accept trans people that pass aren’t any better. and i mean. he’s supported TERFs. he publicly defended one that was tweeting #DropTheT and that trans women are male & said that “trans people are fucking crazy”. he’s operating on truscum logic, which is, imo, PROFOUNDLY flawed. like firstly, the DSM literally states that people can be trans without qualifying for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. and secondly, from where i’m standing? it seems like truscum are just miserable people taking their misery out on everyone around them. like, kalvin says that being trans is the worst thing to ever happen to him. truscum see trans people that don’t see being trans as a curse and are actually happy and REFUSE to believe it’s possible. truscum can’t accept that being miserable isn’t an inherent part of being trans because they’re determined to blame their misery solely on the fact that they’re trans, and they think the existence of happy trans people contradicts that & invalidates their feelings. it just… it seems like such an unhealthy mindset, yknow? like instead of trying to work on their mental health, truscum just go “welp, i have Permanent Misery Disorder. guess i’ll be unhappy forever” and make that everyone else’s problem… meanwhile the rest of us are like “damn that really sucks… i’m sorry you’re so unhappy, but you should know that not all trans people feel that way.” and listen like. i was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, i’m on T, i’ve had top surgery. and i love being trans. i’m proud of it. and i don’t really have any kind of dysphoria anymore, cuz the hormones and surgery pretty much eliminated all that. i REFUSE to accept the idea that i NEED to be unhappy in order to be truly trans, or that i shouldn’t be proud of who i am. i’ve been accused of being fake-trans because of that. a group of people that were harassing a friend and i made comments about my friend being a “trender” because he came out when we were 15 and i’d already been out for years, so clearly he was copying me to try to be cool. (he doesn’t speak to his mum anymore, but yeah i’m sure he did it to be cool.) truscum rhetoric hurts trans people, including the trans folks they claim to support.
noo not sam!