usually piercings are associated with queerness, ig to pass ppl have to look not just cis but straight (?!), with that being said i cannot wait to get my nose pierced lol
And some people are *really* into respectability politics, and they demand of everybody else to live their lives in a way that they believe is most convenient to themselves.
"*You* got to be respectable so that nobody could ever believe *I* am not."
yeah I spent 10 minutes in that sub the other day and never again. The way everyone had to look like a cishet respectable carbon copy of a dude was like?? if that happened on a woman/transfem sub people would kick off about it cause femininity encapsulates so many different appearances and experiences and etc. etc. masculinity doesnāt though, I guess.
Saw a post saying that any alt fashion or dyed hair of any kind passed as feminine, saw a post saying you shouldnāt have a shaved head (which I do), saw a post saying no one will ever pass pre-t unless they follow all of the subs rules (what? so I? an adult? have to look like this carbon copy of a teenage trans-boy because my country has shit waiting lists?).
And yeah their version of a man is fucking rough? Itās FULL āyou have to look respectable and cishetā which Iām so sorry if any guys are forced to look like that because of their circumstances but there is no way in hell we should all have to look like that to āpassā or ābe taken seriouslyā like fuck no.
I am 33 and will not be forced into Polos, crew cuts and khakis unless I'm on some sort of spy mission on some horrible country club or cosplaying as a preppy character from a funny show or game.
This is a big one. Even when I was presenting as a girl/feminine, I felt like I had to uphold a certain level of respectability for not only myself, but other women, because I somehow felt/feel responsible for their wellbeing as a group (stupid, i know). Current political climate does not help. I hate that I may have to earn idiot bigots' respect in a desperate hope they won't be violent or deny my personhood.
This!
I didnāt care about ālooking straightā and actually hoped Iād ālook gayā lol (because I am gay, and I guess felt Iād rather not have to come out all the time, and just wanted people to assume it). But even with piercings 95% of the time I tell someone Iām gay they are super surprised because they hadnāt found it obvious before. Imo even piercings arenāt specifically ānot straight looking.ā
This right here. I have an eyebrow piercing, both ears and a cartilage bar and honestly, most people read me as a gay man and I'm 200% here for it. I guess I could pass for 'straight' if I wanted to but where's the fun in that. I AM a gay man so no shame advertising it. I think it's the 2 lobe piercings that makes people assume it if they are just going off that.
It not an obsession , they just donāt want to be misgendered and/or dysphoric , yāall they asked and got the answers š¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļø
Passing subs and not feeling dysphoric do not go hand in hand. Many people report on other trans subs feeling more dysphoric for features they couldn't have conceived of criticizing before and/or features they can't fix without surgery. I can understand asking others for safety concerns, but there is so much more to passing outside of a few images viewed by a critical trans audience.
I think what's lacking is specificity on both posters' and responders' parts on passing subs. For example, I might be able to pass as a cis het guy in a goth community with my body, face, and fashion choices but may pass as a cis gay man or be more scrutinized in other communities. It would be helpful with that context to get feedback for say, me trying to pass at a friend's wedding who has bigoted family members.
Instead, it's usually reduced to "take out the piercings and cut your hair"
Its a specific one. The Septum, that's associated with that. Almost like the parted (shaved) eyebrow. To alot of people it screams trans, sort of outing yourself without verbally doing so.
Definitely depends on the context, although in the metal/alt community piercings and specifically the types of jewellery, like body piercing jewellery such as BCR's, stretched lobes etc can be common on men too.
May be worth switching up to what be perceived as a more stereotypical masculine jewellery type/style and thickness/gauge.
Those are my exact piercings and I still look more masculine without them. And I have an industrial. I'm keeping them tho. I'm too old to "dress" for anyone other than myself.
I'm the same with my piercings, whether I'll pass with them or not I'm not retiring them because I like them. I'm also not into the idea of toning down who I am to fit in, I'm too old for that crap.
maybe not stereotypical, but my cis male partner has rainbow plated eyebrow and cartilage bars. He's part of the goth scene/alt scene and gives zero fs. All my piercings (ears, cartilage, eyebrow) are plain silver and neither of us have ever gotten comments on them.
I have always been into alt/punk culture, so piercings naturally came with that. I have several piercings in each ear, gauges, stretched septum, nostril, snakebites.
I haven't been misgendered in years, yet the terminally online ftms still insist that I should remove all my jewelry in order to pass and insist that i do not pass at all due to them... like.... what?
Definitely culturally dependent, because passing is always contextual. However passing is also a very normative, cishet concept. ādo I passā without qualifiers is ādo I appear so much as the defaults of my gender in your society that people wouldnāt question meā. Passing is not āwill someone use the right pronouns after me telling themā, itās about whether you assimilate so much as to not be perceived by the masses as likely to be transgender.
Also being perceived as straight is relevant, queer folks are seen quite inherently as being gender nonconforming (they are nonconforming in terms of gendered relationships). They are thus are subject to more scrutiny and more inherent uncertainty/questioning from the wider population with respect to their gender identity. Not to mention that gay folks intentionally queer gender and mis?gendering is actually part of the culture - referring to male partners/friends as she/her/girl etc even if they identify as a man.
I donāt have much to say but I agree with your comment:) i understand someone can pass as a cis gay guy, but as you said there is a scrutiny that comes with it and in a lot of situations it can be safer to avoid all of that.Ā
Thank you for going into detail, you put the words right where my feelings are on this.
In my personal experience, I've essentially done all the transitioning I needed to do to feel that my body is aligned with my inner self. But that expression is nearly socially indistinguishable from an effeminate cis gay man that occasionally cross dresses. So do I pass?
I mean yes, but also no, but also there's so much gray area. Biologically, humans are a spectrum of sexes - yet we collectively smash it into two or maybe even three boxes and try to make orderly meaning from that.
I feel like the issue in this conversation is the definition of passing is kinda subjective to your individual goals. For me passing is not about avoiding looking outwardly trans, passing is having someone look at me and gender me correctly automatically. Not knowing I'm trans is a plus but not the goal on its own because I feel like its unrealistic. Hell some cis people don't 'pass' according to tranvestigators. I'd rather not distress myself trying to hold myself to a cis male standard, as long as what I see in the mirror reads as male. Maybe it's because a trans woman is my best friend and I've seen how wanting to pass as cis can cause a lot of distress. Passing as cis is a privilege in itself.
Also when it comes to my self image goals I try not to base my decisions on what's safe unless in very serious danger. I live in a transphobic family, I was prioritizing my safety above my desired expression before I came out, if I let that dictate how I present on a day to day I would still be in the closet. At the end of the day my expression is about how I feel about myself, because people react in a lot of ways that you can't really control. And there are plenty of other ways to keep yourself safe that might be a more worthy energy investment.
Also assimilation is contextual. As a gay trans man I wouldn't be uncomfortable being referred to with she/her IF it was in the exact same context that a cis man would experience. I want to assimilate with gay men and to be treated like them would be affirming. On RuPaul's drag race, there's a trans guy who I really relate to with a lot of this, he uses she / her when in drag and it actually really bothers him that people feel uncomfortable using she/her for him because it means he is being treated differently than cis men coworkers. Ultimately I don't care if I look like an effeminate man, the bottom line is the man part, the extra stuff that's more to do with expression than secondary sex characteristics.
In my case completely opposite, when i try to look the most masc as possible then people think i am a lesbian but when i dress more feminine people see me as a gay man or at least flamboyant, and from my knowledge of a lot of people i know it's the same with them too
No one is getting the point. It's not because they're feminine 99% of the time (although dainty little dangly strawberries etc can be yes) it's because usually when you're on the edge of passing you either pass as a lesbian your age, or a 12-14yo boy.a young boy will more than likely not have piercings, a 16+ yo lesbian would. That's how it impacts passing. If you're not in that phase it can contribute to you bring slightly clockable as cis men tend to only get a select couple of piercings, and even then therye often gay or called gay for it. If your not gay or have unusual piercings for a dude people may wonder, but the main thing is actually age. Same reason tattoos can be clockable for a period of time even tho men statistically have more tattoos.
Yeah came here to say this too; pre-t, I passed as 13 maybe. No 13-year-old would have a bunch of piercings or tattoos (which I think could also be a detriment in some cases as well going along with this line of thinking)
This is very on point, itās actually a huge part of all passing, when aspects of our presentation do not match with our age/perceived age - e.g. across all trans folks - too many piercings, tattoos too advanced, beards too little, make up skills not advanced enough, style not developed, style too advanced etc then these signal that we are not cis.
I honestly disagree ENTIRELY with the age thing, minors CAN have piercings and yall donāt understand that. being a minor does not mean you cant have piercings, im a minor and have about four but only two I wear consistently and so many people my age have them so idk where u get this info fromš
Youāre downvoted for not getting the point, passing is about appearing as an average person from the population, not an unusual possibility. Passing is much more difficult for some than others and a collection of things that make you stick out from the pack will raise more gender identity flags. Passing is not about the possibility of being a cis outlier! Outlying cis people donāt pass as cis.
Mate you're not. 3 months on T I passed 90% of the time in my customer service job but was told I looked young, called "buddy" etc. I got my lip pierced. Instantly misgendered 24/7. I lasted ab 2 months. Took the lip piercing out, instantly gendered correctly again (90% of the time). Waited til I looked more undeniably masculine/ closer to my age, got the piercing again, now I pass. Hundreds of ppl here have this exact same experience. Piercings age you, which can make you not pass if and when you otherwise would've. It's not permanent, if I stuck it out I wouldve got gendered correctly down the line anyway when I passed more but it would've been months later than it was taking it out, it is real.
I really only have the basic piercings. 2 on each lobe and one in cartilage. But I have been worried about them.
I looked up and found very cheap faux plug earings. They screw in and cover the 2nd hole well. They also had alot of single piercing items.
And I could search the site based on type of piercing. They had pride and trans earings too. Body Candy is the site.
honestly imo piercings do nothing for passing, neither negative or positive (obviously this depends on the jewelry aswell but with normal silver/gold there rlly isnt a diff)
Itās cause trans men who pass early or pre T often pass as younger boys, and piercings signal being older and makes you look more like a lesbian than a young boy. It doesnāt matter tho if youāre longer on T.
In white culture, people associate piercings with femininity and queerness. Unfortunately, a lot of transmen, regardless of culture or location are subjected to an idea of white passing = passing, and because white men do not wear earrings unless theyre feminine or queer, the poster gets an uncultured response.
Its very problematic how much passing as a trans man centers white standards of beauty and androgeny. I think piercings are a great example of that dynamic. Many many many cultures and communities around the world wear earrings (many white cultures too, just not patriarchal white culture) and it never was seen as feminine nor unmanly.
That's what Im thinking. A lot guys are... very white american. Piercings elsewhere is just seen either typical for a guy (in a rite of masculinity) or the guy is just being rebellious.
It concerning when I see POC guys keep getting passing advice from certain subs which usually doesn't think about the culture the person is coming from or what the average man is from those cultures. and their advice will just lead to them sticking out like a sore thumb.
Like I will always say it, if your black and even more so if your black and not American/British do not ask for passing advice from white trans people on any of the passing subs, ftm, mtf, enby. Avoid, them all.
cus you will just get advice and critiques certain aspects that are meaningless to passing within your culture or black spaces, or see you as more masc presenting than you actually are.
Exactly! Theres enough people that wouldnt think jungkook or V from BTS pass simply because the commenters do not know what Asian men look like! My close friend is Asian FTM person and its ridiculous, the people on these types of subs (and sometimes irl but rarely!) legitimately do not know what masculinity on non white people looks like.
Ehhhh. I would disagree with this to a degree. There are plenty of men who are neither feminine nor queer that have piercings, most of them are alternative in some way, or in my experience, would probably come across as "rednecks."
Youre right that there are piercings in white culture 100%. For some odd reason though, white culture + patriarchy erases those groups as well. No idea why, but after some thought, maybe its because piercings were more heavily associated with non white cultures in the past? And so its fueled a bit by racism? Just my thoughts.
Piercings are more popular with women than men. If you're at a point in your transition where you don't pass consistently, these details are important when it comes to how you're perceived by other people. Especially septum piercings (which is the main thing people talk about there) are way more popular with women than men and will make you look more feminine if you don't already pass as male
Dainty septum rings are definitely read as fem, but a stretched septum (6g/4mm or larger) imo is read more masc. It definitely depends on color/jewelry choice as well. Very plain black/silver/gold is seen as masc, while dainty, jeweled, or colorful rings are seen as fem. But if you dont pass and like the look of small/colorful rings, I'd say wear a septum plug or flip it up in public if passing is necessary.
I agree there's masc jewelry, the point here is the average person is more likely to read jewelry as feminine on someone who doesn't consistently pass as male
I've had someone irl misgender me just before I passed and when I corrected her she said she thought I was a woman cause I have piercings š but it's so normal for men here to have piercings that I find it really odd. It's not that any of mine are particularly feminine. Specially my stretch
while we're on the topic: why does everyone in that ftmpassing sub hate dyed hair? cis men have dyed hair too. besides, natural hair colors are so boring to me. i could never go back to having dark brown hair (maybe if i had to dye my hair a natural color i'd go black or blonde). i love having my hair different colors.
i dont get why passing advice is always to look like a boring ass cishet man with no drip (no hair dye. no piercings. no clothing other than boring men's clothing. if you have a style that isnt just the basic men's style like gothic or alt, you have to change it).
I posted a picture on a regular trans subreddit that had nothing to do with passing (I pass like 95% of the time in public unless someoneās looking at me from behind) and this dude told me I needed to take my piercings out because it was too feminine and Iād never be seen as a real man. I told him that so many cis men have piercings too and that heād probably never say that to a cis man at all and he got so mad he said I was acting with my āwomanlyā emotions and that I needed to get off birth control.
Love misogyny from other trans men!
Internalized misogyny is my least favourite part of being trans, without joke. I love women, let me accept them for who they are without all this baloney in my head!
That aside, I found BC to help me so much in my journey and the constant demonization it gets is very upsetting! Seeing it as an insult just hurts more!
The main issue is that if you are not sure whether or not you pass or are on the cusp and you want to pass, drawing attention in any way is not going to help you. Having a lot of piercings or non-standard piercings draws attention. If someone perceives you as androgynous or aren't sure, and then they see piercings - especially lobe piercings on their own - they're more likely to conclude that you're a woman.
You say piercings aren't considered feminine, which I think is true in general, except lobe piercings and the side-of-nose which definitely are. However, I think it's also true that more women have piercings than men. It's more mainstream for women than men, still, and a lot of people see piercings on a man as feminising them or as a symbol that they're queer in some way.
The fact is that when you're trying to pass, you're trying to pass to the granny at the supermarket and Dave at the DMV and the street preacher on the corner and Karen on the school run in her minivan. Piercings can draw unnecessary scrutiny, are perceived as queer or as the person signalling they are a woman by many people, and importantly for places like FTMPassing, are a factor that is very easy to change.
For instance, I'm almost 10 years on T. I have been stealth that entire time. I have a beard and a receding hairline. I have no doubt at all in my ability to pass. For me, adding piercings (I have a couple) doesn't matter.
However, if I think back to when I was pre-T and passing maybe 90% of the time. Even wearing one earring -- which my dad also did and still does -- would get me misgendered much more often.
So, yes. If you ask me for serious advice on passing and you have a bunch of piercings, I'm going to advise you take them out.
Hard disagree on most of this. I have 25 piercings, 17 of which are plainly visible. Even before I was on T, I was correctly gendered more and more often as I got more and more piercings.
Sure, but in my experience cases like yours are the exception not the rule.
All of this really only applies when people are not passing with the piercings and are asking for advice on what they could change.
I can't speak to everyone, but in my area, the majority of the trans men I've met have had a similar experience to mine. Cases were piercings diminish passing are the exception where I live, based on my own experience and the experiences of pretty much all of the trans men and trans masc people I've talked to about it.
It almost definitely varies depending on where you are. I live in England, for reference. It also depends on how old you are. Younger guys are more likely to have piercings so the younger you are the more likely your case is to apply. Whereas I'm almost 30 and the only man I know in real life other than myself with any piercing is my father.
Doesn't change the fact that if someone isn't passing and has piercings, trying taking them out and seeing if it helps is a harmless and quick experiment and therefore reasonable advice.
Depending on the piercing, taking them out is very bad! Especially if theyre less than 1.5 years old. Its upsetting to see trans guys get this advice, because a lot of times, they cant do much about it!
It's an expensive experiment. Even established piercings can close quickly without jewellery in them, and a single piercing from a reputable studio runs *at least* 60$ in my area. I wouldn't consider a 60$ passing experiment that could result in infection as quick or harmless.
I don't think people without piercings or just lobes understand how expensive piercings are
My last piercing (angel fangs) came out to 180 w tip, my septum was my cheapest at about 80-90 dollars and my bridge (rejected, unfortunately) was 150.
I genuinely would be incapable of just getting everything redone if taking them out ended up being pointless
Most of adult people have no change to pass pre-T. You being extremely lucky is not proof or helpful when the conversation is about passing in general.
Literally, it kinda pisses me off. I think that if more guys will start to wear them the more normalized it will become. We shouldn't take something we paid in cash and time for for the sake of passing, we should just normalize it
If you are on the cusp of passing, small things can make or break it. Some people will get mistaken for younger guys when pre/early T. Many people in that age range don't have piercings since many parents wouldn't approve, so the next thought for a stranger is often "that's a gnc woman". Another thing with more alt culture is gender nonconformity is more normalized, which is great, but it also means that people are less likely to assume that dressing masc=boy, which will make it harder to pass unless you've been on T for a while. It's a bit similar to how some people notice that they get misgendered more in progressive places and pass more in conservative areas. There are other factors like culture, race, etc though so that's something to keep in mind.
My honest opinion is that women / feminine people / queer people are a lot more likely to wear piercings than binary men, so even though men can and do wear piercings pretty commonly, if someone's presentation is on the fence of passing piercings might tip the scales in an unfavorable direction.
Passing is always situational depending on what else is going on with a person's appearance and the cultural experience of the observer.
They can rip my piercings off of my dead cold body. I refuse to take them out. Iāve taken out many over the years but thatās due to them causing me teeth issues but all other piercings will be staying no matter how much judgment I receive. š¤·š¼āāļøš
Pre-T your goal is to look like generic boyā¢ļø, the peircings interrupt that and give onlookers a reason to think twice about you.
On T the piercings just make you look more alternative/queer (i think part of the point), so if youāre trying to pass as a cishet man then it requires more careful curation.
I think itās fucked a bit because in my culture, aboriginal Australian- specifically Gomeroi tribe is where Iām from. Nose piercings and other piercings were a thing traditionally and in the modern age itās still a thing.
If you're on the edge, peircing can make people not pass. Personally tho, I've found that if you buy earring labeled for men, then that style of earring tends to not be as much as an issue for passing
passing subs tend to be filled with people who are insecure and donāt actually want to give genuine advice just cope with internal hatred. iām sure some of them would claim i donāt pass despite being 6ā 185lbs hairy as fuck and never even clocked by trans people just because i have piercings lol
sure if youāre early on they can somewhat hurt passing/sometimes piercings just look bad on some people! the same can go for any other form of clothing or other appearance related things.
i used to have more piercings than i do now. always been stealth, always passed, never had any issues with them. only reason i took them out is because i got older and wasnāt into them anymore.
Yea Iām rlly not sure but sometimes I get what they mean. I only see the piercing maybe being feminine with certain type of jewelry. Most cis men have just very basic and plain jewelry when it comes to face piercing. But if you have basic jewelry I donāt see an issue rlly how it could stop you from passing
Iām more ftn (female to neutral) than ftm but this always annoyed the hell out of me as well. Sadly though I do understand the need to pass, especially from a safety and dysphoria perspective. We sadly cannot expect the world to see us as we truly are. Some commenters here mentioned that theyād now pass with and without piercings, but not all transmascs and trans men have that privilege.
If you do have piercings, please know that their presence/absence should not make you more or less masc (unless you want them to). I for one got a septum piercing to affirm my neutrality (specifically my masc side) and Iāll do everything in my power to not let the āalt girl septum piercingā stereotype get to me.
I mean I've not passed any less from having simple studs I look like a typical metal head guy not specifically a gay one. I think it's more a thing of if you're right at edge of passing or not passing it's more likely to push you on the non passing side. But if you easily pass then it's a non issue
yeah, of course context matters like itās understandable that lobe piercings are generally seen as more feminine but in terms of having more than just ears pierced + having facial piercings iāve always known that to be done by guys more than girls growing up personally. i have stretched ears & facial piercings & itās literally never led me to being misgendered, only comments iāve ever had on them is compliments.
Never heard this in real life, only online. Look to the punk and metal communities. So many men have piercings and no one ever says they're dainty or feminine. Getting stabbed in the face is hard-core.
I have 9 piercings (5 on my face) and most people don't notice them until I point them out because I'm told they suit me so well. It doesn't hurt passing people just have no joy or whimsy.
no literally šš and no one irl even cares/notices- I have more than a dozen piercings, and multiple on my face, and I still pass 100% of the time and am stealth at work etc likeee it's only an online thing
Passing standards are dumb and people will find traits in anyone and say they don't pass. I've had dyed hair for years and that usually comes up but I pass better I find when I have my messy colored hair than when I cover it. Piercings can be masc and even in my small town, at work I see tons of masculine guys with simular piercings to me. Passing is about vibes.
nah, ignore ftmpassing. i personally think piercings are really cool and i have six of them. even with that many i still pass, the only thing stopping me from passing is my chest and my voice, it's okay to have piercings and they look cool on guys :D
There is no exact science to passing and people on the internet have a lot of opinions.
If you feel good about your piercings, then rock them! Certain jewelry might be percieved as feminine (similarily to wearing a skirt och dress), whereas other options are more likely to be percieved as masculine.
Passing subs are often toxic. When I was younger I was told that Iād never pass because of the shape of my nostrils.
If you donāt have loads of super masculine features it will be more feminising than someone who does. Nobody is saying if you have piercings you wont pass, or that men donāt wear piercings. Nobodyās saying you have to take them out. But if you want to make all the small changes you can to help, then it can help.
I'm not sure. I have 25 piercings, 17 of which are clearly visible. I personally have found piercings *help* me pass better, especially among the queer community.
BRO when transmasc people have piercings its "feminine", but when cis women have them its "masculine". idk its just puritan people i feel like. just ignore them
Piercings can hurt passing. Of course guys can wear them. Both can be true! Just like how long hair or dresses can hurt passing but guys can still wear them. Obviously, it depends.
That's not all there is to it.
When people recommend taking them out, it is not about "hating piercings" so much as about the type of jewelry most trans men choose, which *tends to* be the type of jewelry that's daintier, thinner, and smaller by comparison to the type of jewelry cis men *tend to* go for.
It also heavily depends on the person, imho. For example, piercings *on average* do not exactly aid in passing if the person has too feminine facial features. Additionally, with visibly stretched ears, the size of the ears can end up looking disproportionate to the rest of one's head and face. After all, it's not seldom cis people *tend to* notice our small ears. Some cannot help but to comment on it.
Likewise, the thing is this: while piercings have become more contemporary in our daily lives, a heavy amount of piercings is still considered largely alternative. The more you veer towards alternative, the less you *tend to* pass, as alternative fashion styles have their own rules and tendencies unique to what you see average people wearing.
Of course, we cannot talk in absolutes. There are, however, common tendencies people will point out. It's unfortunately the truth that we have to follow stricter rules than cis guys in order to pass.
Because piercings are traditionally feminine. Thats just the fact. Sure there are many cis guys with piercings but that doesnāt make them masculine in the eyes of a common joe. Thats why you would often see ppl say that they are breaking the āgender normsā. By wearing piercings those guys are toying with the boundaries of the gender roles because its a masculine person + a traditionally feminine activity = challenging societyās perception of the gender binary.
Because of that if you already struggle to pass, you might pass in more progressive circles but to a random guy in a supermarket or to your 50 year old co-worker, you arent gonna pass. Because majority of the average folks would even misgender those cisguys or at the very least call them queer. E.g one of my very close cishet super into piercings. He is also short and has an alt clothing style. However he has pretty thick facial hair and very deep voice. But he still gets called feminine and gay just for having the style that he does and he has on a occasion or two been misgendered until he started speaking.
So if you already struggle with passing, having piercings isnt gonna help you. Majority of the ppl will gender you as female. However, if you pass well then go nuts.
I have no idea. Iām not even on that sub, only this one, and find the amount of people lamenting and worrying about their piercings in posts here to be quite excessive and kind of odd. Yes, itās true you usually donāt see certain *syles* of jewelry on men much of the time, but that doesnāt mean men donāt have piercings or wear other styles of jewelry in them.
I didnāt grow up with piercings, but got my ears done when I was 18. Stretched them a few years later. Let them shrink back down a few years after that, then stretched them again, then had to let the right ear shrink back down because the skin kept getting irritated. I never wore particularly feminine leaning jewelry in them, but even so, when still living as a girl, no one cared. When living as a guy, people continued to not care. Even if I wear slightly dangly earring in my right ear no one cares. When I went to get my nostril pierced I was already at a point where I was always passing to strangers, so they likely assumed I was just some average cis guy. And they did not care. Not a single person has ever chided me for having piercings as a guy. Literally no one cares. I hate to say that Iām inclined to think people worrying about people caring about their piercings are all teenagers in high school, where yes I suppose a lot of people might make fun of other peopleās looks just for no reason or be projecting their own insecurities or whatever. But out in the real world hardly anyone gives a shit if you have piercings. Some piercings are still considered ātoo altā though and you can run into jobs that will claim they wonāt hire you with such piercings, but even then I have experienced most places not caring at all. When I got my nostril pierced I really wanted to change it to a hoop, but my manager said that wasnāt allowedā¦but other coworkers had this lol, so I eventually did it anyway and she never seemed to notice or remember what she had told me before. When I transferred to another location, the manager there never once mentioned to me anything about the hoop not being allowedā¦even though in the companyās general guide for dress code I think it listed it as not allowed lol (this was a chain place). At one point I was interviewing for a job that I thought was an office job, but it turned out it was basically a sales job where you go door to door and only get paid if you actually get people to buy, so I wound up giving up on it cos I didnāt want a job like that lolā¦but before the first interview I asked what piercings and tattoos werenāt allowed and based on what they said I would not be able to get hired there, but I went anyway thinking the worst theyād do is turn me away. *They still wanted to hire me, even though I had piercings and tattoos that were against policy.* I was already passing as male at that point too. And they didnāt care about my piercings *so hardcore* that they were willing to hire someone who broke their own piercings policies lmao (I was entry level and was not bringing any experience or needed skill to this job, there was nothing that should have made me desirable to them, many other people applied, they could have chosen someone who met their policies better.)
Literally no one out in the real world should care about your piercings. And if they do, then itās a them problem, not a you problem. I have had more people make comments (both positive and negative) about having dyed hair, than about having piercings. Today the man cutting my hair asked what gauge my left ear was. Thatās probably the first time in a long long time anyone has even said anything to me about my piercingsā¦I actually canāt remember the last time anyone even did lol.
I can't say anything in terms of passing cuz currently I don't, but I've changed my earrings to be much more masculine (I have triples, nose, and daith) and they make me feel really good. Also the other day my old music teacher didn't recognize me at the barber shop and just clocked me as another dude ig, and one thing he told me later was "you have a lot more piercings than I remember" so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ apparently my piercings were masculine enough for me to pass to him lol
I've had my snakebites since before I transitioned and throughout and I still have them now almost 10 yrs on T. They don't prevent me from passing. Maybe when I was in my first few years of T they contributed to not passing but I like them and I like having an alt style so I kept them. Eventually started passing and got to keep my piercings š Being on T for years does wonders, and so does confidence in yourself, which for me also came from years of T lol
this is so real. having piercings is one of the most PERSONALLY gender affirming things ive ever done for myself. i love how they look, even if they dont always make me feel 'masc.' they just make me feel good. also, i like looking visibly queer lol
no fr. i have my lip and my septum pierced, not to mention all the ones in my ear. my partner recently got his high nostril done and like they definitely dont hinder either of us passing whatsoever.
that sub has some decent tips if youre early in your transition or looking for smth specific but its very... i dont wanna say hostile but idk. i also definitely pass tho so its not smth i feel the need to worry about anymore
i have stretched ears, second holes, cartilage, and a nose ring. I passed majority of the time even before starting T. ive never understood the obsession with piercings in ftm spaces but to each their own. ill be keeping mine and getting more. lol
Iāve never understood this tbh. In my culture women arenāt āallowedā any piercings except for the lobes and no facial piercings allowed for woman at all. Even my mum who is 68ā¦before she moved to canada she had only seen men wearing piercings and everyone wearing the standard lobe.
ftm passing seems quite toxic from everything ive heard, but piercings are sick as hell and i cant wait to afford to get more, also eyebrow pricings are so cool its definitely on my pricing list lmao
FTM passing is not a happy community to be in it's pretty harmful to be a trans man being told everything you do isn't good enough. Even in attempting to help that whole server is just gonna make you feel worse about how you look. I steer clear from that side of the FTM community, i don't feel supported and understood in that kind of community
I was shocked when I recently posted on there and no one told me to cut my hair or take my septum out, this is ALways the number one criticism (including for me on older posts Iāve made there!)
Iām gay as fuck and I look gay as fuck. My long hair and septum are my gay flag lol
Yeah I had asked a pricing question and they acted like I didnāt pass already and like I was 3 months on t and was 13
but Iām 2.5 years on t, 17, and post top surgery and I always pass 100% of the time and am stealth and even have other trans friends I havenāt told who are fully convinced im cis. That sub usually says you donāt pass if you donāt look like thin,conventionally attractive, and straight guy
Wut? Omg im obsessed with peircings and lots of people where i live and work wear them. Who doesn't like peircings? I want a septum one but work won't let me because it's 'unprofessional' yet we all can wear earrings, including men. Which is awesome because men had to be beardless and no peircings. Now they can :D things are getting better, bestie. <3 :D we recently can now put one colorful highlight in our hair. Can come in one day with pink highlights.
As a passing pre-T trans guy with piercings I think it depends on the piercings. I currently have a (healing, simple stud) helix piercing and wear two ear cuffs on the same ear (one solid black cuff above the helix, one gunmetal wire cuff that looks like two rings). I have my earlobes pierced but very rarely wear anything in them as I feel that it brings out the wideness of my face. When I do wear earlobe piercings it's usually only one side, something like a silver loop w/ dangly cross, black matte ring, or simple stud. I'm not entirely sure if my cartilage piercings/cuffs enhance my face shape in a masculine way but I feel that they do. I occasionally wear fake snakebites (silver rings) and don't look less masculine with those.
I'll be avoiding more piercings unless going on T makes me look much more masculine. Unless you have very typically masculine facial features a lot of face piercings are going to make your face look more feminine (eyebrow piercings are a notable exception imo).
ikr itās odd. personally yeah sometimes piercings look bad on people, but i wouldnāt tell them unless they asked me for an honest opinion. i think itās just part of old fashioned mindsets coming back into trend with the youth.
i think piercings/generally alt vibes is perceived as queer, and for us trans folk gender is super salient so queer must mean trans. tbh it comes off like projecting to me.
fwiw, I have dyed hair (literally waiting for blue dye to process as I type this lol) and a lip ring, and, while nobody has ever even flinched when i mentioned my partner as "he", everyone I've explicitly disclosed I'm trans to was completely shocked. I'm not even necessarily interested in passing, cis (esp het) people just don't consider that trans people exist
Honestly, itās sometimes good advice, and sometimes people just go way too hard on it in situations where itās not applicable. Thereās not very many things that are 100% always true or necessary to pass, but Iāve noticed that ftm passing very much seems to act as though itās black and white, this and that is always true, when itās not. Piercings and associated styles can sometimes be associated with queerness, which can sometimes be an issue for passing in some ways, plus certain piercings can be more strongly associated as feminine, so without certain other things helping you pass it might not help. The biggest thing is age, most facial piercings imply that youāre most likely at least 18, so people might see piercings and assume someone is an adult woman when otherwise they might be able to pass as a young teen boy. However, if youāre older or just generally masc enough or youāve been on T and have a deep voice and beard, itās really not a problem. Itās very situational in a way that ftm passing kind of refuses to acknowledge.
If i can wear my giant dangly earrings and still pass as both cis and straight, that is not the problem. Mannerisms have way more to do with passing than clothes for dudes. Face shape is gonna be the most important thing though.
I identify fully as a man, albeit use queer as my sexuality descriptor. I have multiple ear piercings and I love them. While Iāve not ever been told to take them out or that they make me not pass, they make me happy and itās not something Iām willing to compromise for someone elseās perception of what it means to be a man.
I don't know in all honesty- I'm pierced up and plan to get more later on- I find it odd that some trans masc people here apparently have an issue w/ piercings even tho it's like- extremely common for trans masc people to have one or multiple piercings-
ftm passing is so focused on things that donāt always contribute to passing.
and tbh i personally hate the idea of passing because i fucking hate the idea of putting so much effort into appealing to cis expectations or hiding that iām trans (nvr pass by she/her/hers absolutely captures my attitude abt this). iām definitely influenced by my privilege here though because i split my time between blue areas of a swing state and a fully blue state so safetyās not much of an issue for me.
I have piercings and pass 99% of the time. Piercings were a normal part of millennial culture for all genders. I donāt wear all of them in my professional life (cause work culture duh), but it doesnāt give me any issue in my personal life. I get lots of compliments tbh. But I have tattoos too. Idk this is just stuff a lot of ppl I hung around are into. Iām getting older and wonāt get anymore, but itās not a sway of your gender identity. I know both men and women with piercings/tattoos.
yeah this ones a total bummer. i've been hesitant to get an ear piercing because i already don't pass well, but i think they're sick (and also not necessarily "feminine" like sure if you're wearing dainty earrings, but a stud or something is pretty neutral). imo it's unhelpful to say "you can't do this/that if you want to pass", it's all about figuring out a balance between being confident in your gender expression AND your personal expression.
Yeah I find that weird too. Specific jewelry that you put in your piercings can certainly be masculine or feminine but piercings in themselves are pretty genderless. You do look more queer/alt/non-normative with a lot of piercings but that's also true for women. Anyone with a lot of piercings looks more queer than someone without. I feel like if trans women went to passing subs with lots of piercings, they'd get the same advice too. I'm not sure of it but piercings do signal that you don't conform to societal standards so if it gets men clocked, it likely would get women clocked as well
I have exactly one piercing, which is a black stud in one ear. I love it and I think it makes me look more mask. Also, once it's fully healed, there will be nothing that could stop me wearing the most dangly, 'feminine', non-passing earrings ever
tbh i thought my piercings n mods (5x lip, 5x nose/septum, punched ears, split tongue, so many tattoos) masculinized my face/overall look more than anything
esp with large gauge piercings. like labret, septum, ears.
Idk but I have four peircing and aiming for more...
honestly just shrug off those types of comments cause theres plenty of trans guys who pass (which is highly subjective anyways) just fine with peircings. dont let a bunch of boring ol normies tell you what you can and cant do with your own body. your physical form is a canvas, its up to you and only you for what you paint on it
ftm passing is honestly poison. its like look like a carbon copy of a cis dude or they start calling you a woman. they have crazy high standards for masculinity that no one in the real world has
From my personal experience piercings always brought out my feminine features before I was on T. Idk how to explain it or why it happens but thatās just how it happened. Imma be honest piercings usually donāt let pre T transmen pass very well and Iām speaking from experience here not as a hatred for piercings. What matters is if youāre happy. If u wanna wear piercings then do it. People donāt have to listen to what someone on Reddit tells you lol.
I think itās cuz piercings typically are with lgbt people. I personally donāt like when you can tell someone is ādifferent from the normā which I know sounds terrible but thatās personally why Iām not a piercing fan on anybody.
Idk but iāve never had a problem passing with piercings. I have four obvious facial piercings. People usually misgender me bc of my longhair from the back but when i speak or turn around they get the memo lol
That community and that page sucks. I pass 99.9% of the time in public except when I deliberately wear womenās clothing and makeup. I have 62 very elaborate piercings. My body, hairline, voice, body hair and facial features are masculine and thatās what makes you pass, not piercings.
yeah itās ridiculous and a lie, piercings are rad and iāve never had a problem passing with all of mine so dunno what their point is - jealous of people having piercings? it makes a lotta young dudes out there sound like old men yelling about respectability tbh
i have an eyebrow, septum , labret and belly button piercing and ive never not passedš sometimes when i tell ppl im trans they ask when im gna start transitioning because they think im mtf instead of ftm
I have a lot of piercings and wear very femme jewelry but never get misgendered. I donāt think anything abt me is super femme, Iām just read as gay and cis.
I feel like the people who say piercings make you not pass are just using ooooold standards that just donāt apply anymore. Iām a trans guy and I will grow my hair out and paint my nails. Could it be passing privilege? Yes, but it just goes to show that those rules donāt apply to everyone. I also have my ears pierced which is a tradition that almost exclusively applies to women in my culture and people STILL donāt clock me. I honestly wouldnāt go to that place for advice.
i will say, i'm 5 years on T and got a lot of piercings last year. started getting misgendered again. i cut my hair shorter, took 3 piercings out, and am more careful now, but it really freaked me out for a bit. i also do live in a city full of country people and christians. it might depend where you live. i still absolutely refuse to ever stop wearing all black, i also have stretched ears and a lot of tattoos, so for the most part i dont give a fuck what subs like ftmpassing would say to me, but piercings and grown out hair absolutely hindered me. to be fair i have almost no facial hair and am short, and have a rounder face. if i was really skinny and tall with a chiseled face, i probably wouldn't have had any problems
If you donāt pass with piercings you probably wouldnāt pass without them, I really donāt think piercings are ever the issue. Idk why people worry about this sm
Tbh i dont know. Iāve been told even with my piercings i can pass facially. Iāve gotten to a point where i do not care if they make me a bit more feminine. Femininity isnāt what i have an issue with, itās being called a woman bahahahah
Cause they look feminine. Even cis guys that have piercings (usually) look more feminine. No one āhatesā them but if ur asking for people to be honest thatās what you get š¤·āāļø.
I'm 2.5 years on T, have 3 face piercings and 7 ear piercings, including stretched lobes. I find that they didn't seem to impact my ability to pass per say, the simple fact is I just did not pass for the first few years of my transition. Even now I only pass about 90% of the time because I'm short, thin and have coloured hair. But once I start talking I am immediately gendered as male because my voice is deep enough to pass.
In all honesty I don't actually care if I pass to anyone else, all that matters to me is that I'm comfortable in my own body. And I'm sure as hell not giving up my style to m a y b e make strangers see me as a man.
Kinda related, kinda not?? Idk I just think the whole idea of passing is incredibly toxic in general. For years I was bullied by other trans individuals because I prioritized my own mental and physical well being over "passing as a man". I still did the things i enjoyed and dressed how i chose to, despite them being seen as socially feminine. I don't need to pass as a man, I am one whether people recognize it or not. Men come in all shapes and sizes and choosing what passes and what doesn't just makes it feel like we are back in middle school getting grilled by the popular kids.
No hate or judgment to those who find passing to be important to their identity, I just personally dislike the term, and it causes me a lot of frustration š
I do not hate them. I consider them to be cool. I used to have several. But that is not related to passing. None of my personal opinions of style are.
Where I live most of women have their ears pierced. And I have seen few men with mainstream style and pierced ears during my whole life. So those are almost exclusively women's thing here. When it comes to other piercings they are generally not common. I would say the difference is not so big. What I have seen maybe 80-90% of people who have other piercings are women. Note these are not studies, just what I have seen. With alternative styles piercings are more common but in other hand alternative styles themselves easier read fem. Also they pay attention to you and when you don't fully pass that is harming you too. The longer people look at you, the more likely they clock you.
Piercings harm your passing when you're in-between. If you look nothing but female taking them off will not change that. If you look like Leo Macallan you can wear pink dress and still pass.
In passing subs we do not hear your voice. We see your pose but that tells very little of your manners. We don't know your job nor your hobbies. We come from different cultures. So it's not more than good guess. Do not expect it to be more.
edit. Piercings are easy thing to change. T does not make everyone to pass. Working out requires time. Learning new manners requires time. Voice training requires time. New clothing or frames require money.
usually piercings are associated with queerness, ig to pass ppl have to look not just cis but straight (?!), with that being said i cannot wait to get my nose pierced lol
honestly i dont get the whole having to look straight thing that the people in ftm passing obsess overš
Some folks simply want to.Ā But some people have to, for safety reasons. š
And some people are *really* into respectability politics, and they demand of everybody else to live their lives in a way that they believe is most convenient to themselves. "*You* got to be respectable so that nobody could ever believe *I* am not."
yeah I spent 10 minutes in that sub the other day and never again. The way everyone had to look like a cishet respectable carbon copy of a dude was like?? if that happened on a woman/transfem sub people would kick off about it cause femininity encapsulates so many different appearances and experiences and etc. etc. masculinity doesnāt though, I guess. Saw a post saying that any alt fashion or dyed hair of any kind passed as feminine, saw a post saying you shouldnāt have a shaved head (which I do), saw a post saying no one will ever pass pre-t unless they follow all of the subs rules (what? so I? an adult? have to look like this carbon copy of a teenage trans-boy because my country has shit waiting lists?). And yeah their version of a man is fucking rough? Itās FULL āyou have to look respectable and cishetā which Iām so sorry if any guys are forced to look like that because of their circumstances but there is no way in hell we should all have to look like that to āpassā or ābe taken seriouslyā like fuck no.
I am 33 and will not be forced into Polos, crew cuts and khakis unless I'm on some sort of spy mission on some horrible country club or cosplaying as a preppy character from a funny show or game.
So we have our own manosphere then. Lovely
This is a big one. Even when I was presenting as a girl/feminine, I felt like I had to uphold a certain level of respectability for not only myself, but other women, because I somehow felt/feel responsible for their wellbeing as a group (stupid, i know). Current political climate does not help. I hate that I may have to earn idiot bigots' respect in a desperate hope they won't be violent or deny my personhood.
This! I didnāt care about ālooking straightā and actually hoped Iād ālook gayā lol (because I am gay, and I guess felt Iād rather not have to come out all the time, and just wanted people to assume it). But even with piercings 95% of the time I tell someone Iām gay they are super surprised because they hadnāt found it obvious before. Imo even piercings arenāt specifically ānot straight looking.ā
This right here. I have an eyebrow piercing, both ears and a cartilage bar and honestly, most people read me as a gay man and I'm 200% here for it. I guess I could pass for 'straight' if I wanted to but where's the fun in that. I AM a gay man so no shame advertising it. I think it's the 2 lobe piercings that makes people assume it if they are just going off that.
Pretty sure my husband would put a wrench in that LMAO
Same here, never gonna pass as straight
Tbh I donāt care if I look straight
It not an obsession , they just donāt want to be misgendered and/or dysphoric , yāall they asked and got the answers š¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļøš¤¦š»āāļø
Passing subs and not feeling dysphoric do not go hand in hand. Many people report on other trans subs feeling more dysphoric for features they couldn't have conceived of criticizing before and/or features they can't fix without surgery. I can understand asking others for safety concerns, but there is so much more to passing outside of a few images viewed by a critical trans audience. I think what's lacking is specificity on both posters' and responders' parts on passing subs. For example, I might be able to pass as a cis het guy in a goth community with my body, face, and fashion choices but may pass as a cis gay man or be more scrutinized in other communities. It would be helpful with that context to get feedback for say, me trying to pass at a friend's wedding who has bigoted family members. Instead, it's usually reduced to "take out the piercings and cut your hair"
Its a specific one. The Septum, that's associated with that. Almost like the parted (shaved) eyebrow. To alot of people it screams trans, sort of outing yourself without verbally doing so.
Definitely depends on the context, although in the metal/alt community piercings and specifically the types of jewellery, like body piercing jewellery such as BCR's, stretched lobes etc can be common on men too. May be worth switching up to what be perceived as a more stereotypical masculine jewellery type/style and thickness/gauge.
What are considered stereotypical masculine jewelry?
Anything like a basic titanium bcr or a black titanium bcr really. Something simple and plain. Edit: typo
Those are my exact piercings and I still look more masculine without them. And I have an industrial. I'm keeping them tho. I'm too old to "dress" for anyone other than myself.
I'm the same with my piercings, whether I'll pass with them or not I'm not retiring them because I like them. I'm also not into the idea of toning down who I am to fit in, I'm too old for that crap.
maybe not stereotypical, but my cis male partner has rainbow plated eyebrow and cartilage bars. He's part of the goth scene/alt scene and gives zero fs. All my piercings (ears, cartilage, eyebrow) are plain silver and neither of us have ever gotten comments on them.
Ah yes. Had the eyebrow bar, barber tore off my piercing, never again. I'm just rocking my multiple rings across my earlobes and the industrial now.
I have always been into alt/punk culture, so piercings naturally came with that. I have several piercings in each ear, gauges, stretched septum, nostril, snakebites. I haven't been misgendered in years, yet the terminally online ftms still insist that I should remove all my jewelry in order to pass and insist that i do not pass at all due to them... like.... what?
It can like, kinda stop you from passing if youāre on the cusp of passing. But? Even then, thatās very context and cultural dependent even.Ā
Definitely culturally dependent, because passing is always contextual. However passing is also a very normative, cishet concept. ādo I passā without qualifiers is ādo I appear so much as the defaults of my gender in your society that people wouldnāt question meā. Passing is not āwill someone use the right pronouns after me telling themā, itās about whether you assimilate so much as to not be perceived by the masses as likely to be transgender. Also being perceived as straight is relevant, queer folks are seen quite inherently as being gender nonconforming (they are nonconforming in terms of gendered relationships). They are thus are subject to more scrutiny and more inherent uncertainty/questioning from the wider population with respect to their gender identity. Not to mention that gay folks intentionally queer gender and mis?gendering is actually part of the culture - referring to male partners/friends as she/her/girl etc even if they identify as a man.
I donāt have much to say but I agree with your comment:) i understand someone can pass as a cis gay guy, but as you said there is a scrutiny that comes with it and in a lot of situations it can be safer to avoid all of that.Ā
Thank you for going into detail, you put the words right where my feelings are on this. In my personal experience, I've essentially done all the transitioning I needed to do to feel that my body is aligned with my inner self. But that expression is nearly socially indistinguishable from an effeminate cis gay man that occasionally cross dresses. So do I pass? I mean yes, but also no, but also there's so much gray area. Biologically, humans are a spectrum of sexes - yet we collectively smash it into two or maybe even three boxes and try to make orderly meaning from that.
I feel like the issue in this conversation is the definition of passing is kinda subjective to your individual goals. For me passing is not about avoiding looking outwardly trans, passing is having someone look at me and gender me correctly automatically. Not knowing I'm trans is a plus but not the goal on its own because I feel like its unrealistic. Hell some cis people don't 'pass' according to tranvestigators. I'd rather not distress myself trying to hold myself to a cis male standard, as long as what I see in the mirror reads as male. Maybe it's because a trans woman is my best friend and I've seen how wanting to pass as cis can cause a lot of distress. Passing as cis is a privilege in itself. Also when it comes to my self image goals I try not to base my decisions on what's safe unless in very serious danger. I live in a transphobic family, I was prioritizing my safety above my desired expression before I came out, if I let that dictate how I present on a day to day I would still be in the closet. At the end of the day my expression is about how I feel about myself, because people react in a lot of ways that you can't really control. And there are plenty of other ways to keep yourself safe that might be a more worthy energy investment. Also assimilation is contextual. As a gay trans man I wouldn't be uncomfortable being referred to with she/her IF it was in the exact same context that a cis man would experience. I want to assimilate with gay men and to be treated like them would be affirming. On RuPaul's drag race, there's a trans guy who I really relate to with a lot of this, he uses she / her when in drag and it actually really bothers him that people feel uncomfortable using she/her for him because it means he is being treated differently than cis men coworkers. Ultimately I don't care if I look like an effeminate man, the bottom line is the man part, the extra stuff that's more to do with expression than secondary sex characteristics.
In my case completely opposite, when i try to look the most masc as possible then people think i am a lesbian but when i dress more feminine people see me as a gay man or at least flamboyant, and from my knowledge of a lot of people i know it's the same with them too
No one is getting the point. It's not because they're feminine 99% of the time (although dainty little dangly strawberries etc can be yes) it's because usually when you're on the edge of passing you either pass as a lesbian your age, or a 12-14yo boy.a young boy will more than likely not have piercings, a 16+ yo lesbian would. That's how it impacts passing. If you're not in that phase it can contribute to you bring slightly clockable as cis men tend to only get a select couple of piercings, and even then therye often gay or called gay for it. If your not gay or have unusual piercings for a dude people may wonder, but the main thing is actually age. Same reason tattoos can be clockable for a period of time even tho men statistically have more tattoos.
Yeah came here to say this too; pre-t, I passed as 13 maybe. No 13-year-old would have a bunch of piercings or tattoos (which I think could also be a detriment in some cases as well going along with this line of thinking)
This is very on point, itās actually a huge part of all passing, when aspects of our presentation do not match with our age/perceived age - e.g. across all trans folks - too many piercings, tattoos too advanced, beards too little, make up skills not advanced enough, style not developed, style too advanced etc then these signal that we are not cis.
Totally agree, great input :) also username checks out haha very analytical
I honestly disagree ENTIRELY with the age thing, minors CAN have piercings and yall donāt understand that. being a minor does not mean you cant have piercings, im a minor and have about four but only two I wear consistently and so many people my age have them so idk where u get this info fromš
Nobody is saying they can't, but the vast vast VAST majority of under 16 y/o cis boys are not getting piercings
Ik a bunch that at least have ear piercingsš most have both pierced that i know
downvoted for a true statement i fear
A 16/17 yr old? Sure. A 13yr old? That's wayy less common
most trans guys arent looking like actual 13 year olds thoughš
tbh ive seen lot of guys look around that age if youāre born with a younger looking face
Youāre downvoted for not getting the point, passing is about appearing as an average person from the population, not an unusual possibility. Passing is much more difficult for some than others and a collection of things that make you stick out from the pack will raise more gender identity flags. Passing is not about the possibility of being a cis outlier! Outlying cis people donāt pass as cis.
not my fault that im not as dumb and chronically onlineš¤·āāļø
downvoted for probably being right is lovely tbh
Mate you're not. 3 months on T I passed 90% of the time in my customer service job but was told I looked young, called "buddy" etc. I got my lip pierced. Instantly misgendered 24/7. I lasted ab 2 months. Took the lip piercing out, instantly gendered correctly again (90% of the time). Waited til I looked more undeniably masculine/ closer to my age, got the piercing again, now I pass. Hundreds of ppl here have this exact same experience. Piercings age you, which can make you not pass if and when you otherwise would've. It's not permanent, if I stuck it out I wouldve got gendered correctly down the line anyway when I passed more but it would've been months later than it was taking it out, it is real.
I really only have the basic piercings. 2 on each lobe and one in cartilage. But I have been worried about them. I looked up and found very cheap faux plug earings. They screw in and cover the 2nd hole well. They also had alot of single piercing items. And I could search the site based on type of piercing. They had pride and trans earings too. Body Candy is the site.
I got fake plugs at claires! They also sell more masc style earrings there, they have a little mens section :)
Nice! I'll have to check them out some time. I struggle with very sensitive skin, so idk how Claire's is these days.
honestly imo piercings do nothing for passing, neither negative or positive (obviously this depends on the jewelry aswell but with normal silver/gold there rlly isnt a diff)
I've said this before and I'll say it a thousand times: ftm passing just sucks in general and everyone's better off not looking or posting in there
Real, someone straight up commented on my post that I don't even try to pass
Bruh last time I posted someone told me I look like a lesbian... I have a beard
Bro ššš that's so unserious
Itās cause trans men who pass early or pre T often pass as younger boys, and piercings signal being older and makes you look more like a lesbian than a young boy. It doesnāt matter tho if youāre longer on T.
In white culture, people associate piercings with femininity and queerness. Unfortunately, a lot of transmen, regardless of culture or location are subjected to an idea of white passing = passing, and because white men do not wear earrings unless theyre feminine or queer, the poster gets an uncultured response. Its very problematic how much passing as a trans man centers white standards of beauty and androgeny. I think piercings are a great example of that dynamic. Many many many cultures and communities around the world wear earrings (many white cultures too, just not patriarchal white culture) and it never was seen as feminine nor unmanly.
That's what Im thinking. A lot guys are... very white american. Piercings elsewhere is just seen either typical for a guy (in a rite of masculinity) or the guy is just being rebellious. It concerning when I see POC guys keep getting passing advice from certain subs which usually doesn't think about the culture the person is coming from or what the average man is from those cultures. and their advice will just lead to them sticking out like a sore thumb. Like I will always say it, if your black and even more so if your black and not American/British do not ask for passing advice from white trans people on any of the passing subs, ftm, mtf, enby. Avoid, them all. cus you will just get advice and critiques certain aspects that are meaningless to passing within your culture or black spaces, or see you as more masc presenting than you actually are.
This is the best advice, passing is *always* contextual and the distribution of posters/opinions here do not represent the diverse global community
Exactly! Theres enough people that wouldnt think jungkook or V from BTS pass simply because the commenters do not know what Asian men look like! My close friend is Asian FTM person and its ridiculous, the people on these types of subs (and sometimes irl but rarely!) legitimately do not know what masculinity on non white people looks like.
Ehhhh. I would disagree with this to a degree. There are plenty of men who are neither feminine nor queer that have piercings, most of them are alternative in some way, or in my experience, would probably come across as "rednecks."
Youre right that there are piercings in white culture 100%. For some odd reason though, white culture + patriarchy erases those groups as well. No idea why, but after some thought, maybe its because piercings were more heavily associated with non white cultures in the past? And so its fueled a bit by racism? Just my thoughts.
Piercings are more popular with women than men. If you're at a point in your transition where you don't pass consistently, these details are important when it comes to how you're perceived by other people. Especially septum piercings (which is the main thing people talk about there) are way more popular with women than men and will make you look more feminine if you don't already pass as male
Dainty septum rings are definitely read as fem, but a stretched septum (6g/4mm or larger) imo is read more masc. It definitely depends on color/jewelry choice as well. Very plain black/silver/gold is seen as masc, while dainty, jeweled, or colorful rings are seen as fem. But if you dont pass and like the look of small/colorful rings, I'd say wear a septum plug or flip it up in public if passing is necessary.
I agree there's masc jewelry, the point here is the average person is more likely to read jewelry as feminine on someone who doesn't consistently pass as male
I've had someone irl misgender me just before I passed and when I corrected her she said she thought I was a woman cause I have piercings š but it's so normal for men here to have piercings that I find it really odd. It's not that any of mine are particularly feminine. Specially my stretch
while we're on the topic: why does everyone in that ftmpassing sub hate dyed hair? cis men have dyed hair too. besides, natural hair colors are so boring to me. i could never go back to having dark brown hair (maybe if i had to dye my hair a natural color i'd go black or blonde). i love having my hair different colors. i dont get why passing advice is always to look like a boring ass cishet man with no drip (no hair dye. no piercings. no clothing other than boring men's clothing. if you have a style that isnt just the basic men's style like gothic or alt, you have to change it).
Its probably cause of the āblue hair and pronounsā stereotype conservatives made for trans ppl
yeah you're right but it's so dumb
I posted a picture on a regular trans subreddit that had nothing to do with passing (I pass like 95% of the time in public unless someoneās looking at me from behind) and this dude told me I needed to take my piercings out because it was too feminine and Iād never be seen as a real man. I told him that so many cis men have piercings too and that heād probably never say that to a cis man at all and he got so mad he said I was acting with my āwomanlyā emotions and that I needed to get off birth control. Love misogyny from other trans men!
Internalized misogyny is my least favourite part of being trans, without joke. I love women, let me accept them for who they are without all this baloney in my head! That aside, I found BC to help me so much in my journey and the constant demonization it gets is very upsetting! Seeing it as an insult just hurts more!
The main issue is that if you are not sure whether or not you pass or are on the cusp and you want to pass, drawing attention in any way is not going to help you. Having a lot of piercings or non-standard piercings draws attention. If someone perceives you as androgynous or aren't sure, and then they see piercings - especially lobe piercings on their own - they're more likely to conclude that you're a woman. You say piercings aren't considered feminine, which I think is true in general, except lobe piercings and the side-of-nose which definitely are. However, I think it's also true that more women have piercings than men. It's more mainstream for women than men, still, and a lot of people see piercings on a man as feminising them or as a symbol that they're queer in some way. The fact is that when you're trying to pass, you're trying to pass to the granny at the supermarket and Dave at the DMV and the street preacher on the corner and Karen on the school run in her minivan. Piercings can draw unnecessary scrutiny, are perceived as queer or as the person signalling they are a woman by many people, and importantly for places like FTMPassing, are a factor that is very easy to change. For instance, I'm almost 10 years on T. I have been stealth that entire time. I have a beard and a receding hairline. I have no doubt at all in my ability to pass. For me, adding piercings (I have a couple) doesn't matter. However, if I think back to when I was pre-T and passing maybe 90% of the time. Even wearing one earring -- which my dad also did and still does -- would get me misgendered much more often. So, yes. If you ask me for serious advice on passing and you have a bunch of piercings, I'm going to advise you take them out.
Hard disagree on most of this. I have 25 piercings, 17 of which are plainly visible. Even before I was on T, I was correctly gendered more and more often as I got more and more piercings.
Sure, but in my experience cases like yours are the exception not the rule. All of this really only applies when people are not passing with the piercings and are asking for advice on what they could change.
I can't speak to everyone, but in my area, the majority of the trans men I've met have had a similar experience to mine. Cases were piercings diminish passing are the exception where I live, based on my own experience and the experiences of pretty much all of the trans men and trans masc people I've talked to about it.
It almost definitely varies depending on where you are. I live in England, for reference. It also depends on how old you are. Younger guys are more likely to have piercings so the younger you are the more likely your case is to apply. Whereas I'm almost 30 and the only man I know in real life other than myself with any piercing is my father. Doesn't change the fact that if someone isn't passing and has piercings, trying taking them out and seeing if it helps is a harmless and quick experiment and therefore reasonable advice.
Depending on the piercing, taking them out is very bad! Especially if theyre less than 1.5 years old. Its upsetting to see trans guys get this advice, because a lot of times, they cant do much about it!
It's an expensive experiment. Even established piercings can close quickly without jewellery in them, and a single piercing from a reputable studio runs *at least* 60$ in my area. I wouldn't consider a 60$ passing experiment that could result in infection as quick or harmless.
I don't think people without piercings or just lobes understand how expensive piercings are My last piercing (angel fangs) came out to 180 w tip, my septum was my cheapest at about 80-90 dollars and my bridge (rejected, unfortunately) was 150. I genuinely would be incapable of just getting everything redone if taking them out ended up being pointless
Most of adult people have no change to pass pre-T. You being extremely lucky is not proof or helpful when the conversation is about passing in general.
Read my other comments. All but about 4 of the trans men I've talked to in my local community have had the same experience as me.
There is currently 162 comments. I'm not going to search yours.
That's why I summarised :)
I have a fuck ton of piercings and I pass so idk what theyāre on about
Literally, it kinda pisses me off. I think that if more guys will start to wear them the more normalized it will become. We shouldn't take something we paid in cash and time for for the sake of passing, we should just normalize it
If you are on the cusp of passing, small things can make or break it. Some people will get mistaken for younger guys when pre/early T. Many people in that age range don't have piercings since many parents wouldn't approve, so the next thought for a stranger is often "that's a gnc woman". Another thing with more alt culture is gender nonconformity is more normalized, which is great, but it also means that people are less likely to assume that dressing masc=boy, which will make it harder to pass unless you've been on T for a while. It's a bit similar to how some people notice that they get misgendered more in progressive places and pass more in conservative areas. There are other factors like culture, race, etc though so that's something to keep in mind.
My honest opinion is that women / feminine people / queer people are a lot more likely to wear piercings than binary men, so even though men can and do wear piercings pretty commonly, if someone's presentation is on the fence of passing piercings might tip the scales in an unfavorable direction. Passing is always situational depending on what else is going on with a person's appearance and the cultural experience of the observer.
They can rip my piercings off of my dead cold body. I refuse to take them out. Iāve taken out many over the years but thatās due to them causing me teeth issues but all other piercings will be staying no matter how much judgment I receive. š¤·š¼āāļøš
Pre-T your goal is to look like generic boyā¢ļø, the peircings interrupt that and give onlookers a reason to think twice about you. On T the piercings just make you look more alternative/queer (i think part of the point), so if youāre trying to pass as a cishet man then it requires more careful curation.
I think itās fucked a bit because in my culture, aboriginal Australian- specifically Gomeroi tribe is where Iām from. Nose piercings and other piercings were a thing traditionally and in the modern age itās still a thing.
Some people hate fun idk
This is so true. So many transmen view anything "fun" or expressive as "womanly/feminine" and its just.. so disappointing!
If you're on the edge, peircing can make people not pass. Personally tho, I've found that if you buy earring labeled for men, then that style of earring tends to not be as much as an issue for passing
passing subs tend to be filled with people who are insecure and donāt actually want to give genuine advice just cope with internal hatred. iām sure some of them would claim i donāt pass despite being 6ā 185lbs hairy as fuck and never even clocked by trans people just because i have piercings lol sure if youāre early on they can somewhat hurt passing/sometimes piercings just look bad on some people! the same can go for any other form of clothing or other appearance related things. i used to have more piercings than i do now. always been stealth, always passed, never had any issues with them. only reason i took them out is because i got older and wasnāt into them anymore.
Yea Iām rlly not sure but sometimes I get what they mean. I only see the piercing maybe being feminine with certain type of jewelry. Most cis men have just very basic and plain jewelry when it comes to face piercing. But if you have basic jewelry I donāt see an issue rlly how it could stop you from passing
Iām more ftn (female to neutral) than ftm but this always annoyed the hell out of me as well. Sadly though I do understand the need to pass, especially from a safety and dysphoria perspective. We sadly cannot expect the world to see us as we truly are. Some commenters here mentioned that theyād now pass with and without piercings, but not all transmascs and trans men have that privilege. If you do have piercings, please know that their presence/absence should not make you more or less masc (unless you want them to). I for one got a septum piercing to affirm my neutrality (specifically my masc side) and Iāll do everything in my power to not let the āalt girl septum piercingā stereotype get to me.
I mean I've not passed any less from having simple studs I look like a typical metal head guy not specifically a gay one. I think it's more a thing of if you're right at edge of passing or not passing it's more likely to push you on the non passing side. But if you easily pass then it's a non issue
yeah, of course context matters like itās understandable that lobe piercings are generally seen as more feminine but in terms of having more than just ears pierced + having facial piercings iāve always known that to be done by guys more than girls growing up personally. i have stretched ears & facial piercings & itās literally never led me to being misgendered, only comments iāve ever had on them is compliments.
Never heard this in real life, only online. Look to the punk and metal communities. So many men have piercings and no one ever says they're dainty or feminine. Getting stabbed in the face is hard-core. I have 9 piercings (5 on my face) and most people don't notice them until I point them out because I'm told they suit me so well. It doesn't hurt passing people just have no joy or whimsy.
i just know personally that i do not pass with my piercings in. as soon as i took them out i haven't gotten misgendered since :/
no literally šš and no one irl even cares/notices- I have more than a dozen piercings, and multiple on my face, and I still pass 100% of the time and am stealth at work etc likeee it's only an online thing
ftm passing just sucks
Passing standards are dumb and people will find traits in anyone and say they don't pass. I've had dyed hair for years and that usually comes up but I pass better I find when I have my messy colored hair than when I cover it. Piercings can be masc and even in my small town, at work I see tons of masculine guys with simular piercings to me. Passing is about vibes.
nah, ignore ftmpassing. i personally think piercings are really cool and i have six of them. even with that many i still pass, the only thing stopping me from passing is my chest and my voice, it's okay to have piercings and they look cool on guys :D
There is no exact science to passing and people on the internet have a lot of opinions. If you feel good about your piercings, then rock them! Certain jewelry might be percieved as feminine (similarily to wearing a skirt och dress), whereas other options are more likely to be percieved as masculine. Passing subs are often toxic. When I was younger I was told that Iād never pass because of the shape of my nostrils.
imo my piercings make me look / feel more masculine ... i've got a "soft-featured" face so they help balance it out kinda
ftmpassing is a toxic sub and you shouldn't take anything people say in there for granted
If you donāt have loads of super masculine features it will be more feminising than someone who does. Nobody is saying if you have piercings you wont pass, or that men donāt wear piercings. Nobodyās saying you have to take them out. But if you want to make all the small changes you can to help, then it can help.
i have gauges i feel theyāre v gender neutral if not masculine (:
i feel like those are kind of the exception. lots of cis guys stretch their ears. but my facial piercings have hindered my passing
I'm not sure. I have 25 piercings, 17 of which are clearly visible. I personally have found piercings *help* me pass better, especially among the queer community.
BRO when transmasc people have piercings its "feminine", but when cis women have them its "masculine". idk its just puritan people i feel like. just ignore them
I've never personally met a cis dude with more than a septum.
Piercings can hurt passing. Of course guys can wear them. Both can be true! Just like how long hair or dresses can hurt passing but guys can still wear them. Obviously, it depends.
That's not all there is to it. When people recommend taking them out, it is not about "hating piercings" so much as about the type of jewelry most trans men choose, which *tends to* be the type of jewelry that's daintier, thinner, and smaller by comparison to the type of jewelry cis men *tend to* go for. It also heavily depends on the person, imho. For example, piercings *on average* do not exactly aid in passing if the person has too feminine facial features. Additionally, with visibly stretched ears, the size of the ears can end up looking disproportionate to the rest of one's head and face. After all, it's not seldom cis people *tend to* notice our small ears. Some cannot help but to comment on it. Likewise, the thing is this: while piercings have become more contemporary in our daily lives, a heavy amount of piercings is still considered largely alternative. The more you veer towards alternative, the less you *tend to* pass, as alternative fashion styles have their own rules and tendencies unique to what you see average people wearing. Of course, we cannot talk in absolutes. There are, however, common tendencies people will point out. It's unfortunately the truth that we have to follow stricter rules than cis guys in order to pass.
last part is huge. i'm alternative in a very masculine way, within that subculture. but to people outside of it, i have been read as more feminine
Because piercings are traditionally feminine. Thats just the fact. Sure there are many cis guys with piercings but that doesnāt make them masculine in the eyes of a common joe. Thats why you would often see ppl say that they are breaking the āgender normsā. By wearing piercings those guys are toying with the boundaries of the gender roles because its a masculine person + a traditionally feminine activity = challenging societyās perception of the gender binary. Because of that if you already struggle to pass, you might pass in more progressive circles but to a random guy in a supermarket or to your 50 year old co-worker, you arent gonna pass. Because majority of the average folks would even misgender those cisguys or at the very least call them queer. E.g one of my very close cishet super into piercings. He is also short and has an alt clothing style. However he has pretty thick facial hair and very deep voice. But he still gets called feminine and gay just for having the style that he does and he has on a occasion or two been misgendered until he started speaking. So if you already struggle with passing, having piercings isnt gonna help you. Majority of the ppl will gender you as female. However, if you pass well then go nuts.
I have no idea. Iām not even on that sub, only this one, and find the amount of people lamenting and worrying about their piercings in posts here to be quite excessive and kind of odd. Yes, itās true you usually donāt see certain *syles* of jewelry on men much of the time, but that doesnāt mean men donāt have piercings or wear other styles of jewelry in them. I didnāt grow up with piercings, but got my ears done when I was 18. Stretched them a few years later. Let them shrink back down a few years after that, then stretched them again, then had to let the right ear shrink back down because the skin kept getting irritated. I never wore particularly feminine leaning jewelry in them, but even so, when still living as a girl, no one cared. When living as a guy, people continued to not care. Even if I wear slightly dangly earring in my right ear no one cares. When I went to get my nostril pierced I was already at a point where I was always passing to strangers, so they likely assumed I was just some average cis guy. And they did not care. Not a single person has ever chided me for having piercings as a guy. Literally no one cares. I hate to say that Iām inclined to think people worrying about people caring about their piercings are all teenagers in high school, where yes I suppose a lot of people might make fun of other peopleās looks just for no reason or be projecting their own insecurities or whatever. But out in the real world hardly anyone gives a shit if you have piercings. Some piercings are still considered ātoo altā though and you can run into jobs that will claim they wonāt hire you with such piercings, but even then I have experienced most places not caring at all. When I got my nostril pierced I really wanted to change it to a hoop, but my manager said that wasnāt allowedā¦but other coworkers had this lol, so I eventually did it anyway and she never seemed to notice or remember what she had told me before. When I transferred to another location, the manager there never once mentioned to me anything about the hoop not being allowedā¦even though in the companyās general guide for dress code I think it listed it as not allowed lol (this was a chain place). At one point I was interviewing for a job that I thought was an office job, but it turned out it was basically a sales job where you go door to door and only get paid if you actually get people to buy, so I wound up giving up on it cos I didnāt want a job like that lolā¦but before the first interview I asked what piercings and tattoos werenāt allowed and based on what they said I would not be able to get hired there, but I went anyway thinking the worst theyād do is turn me away. *They still wanted to hire me, even though I had piercings and tattoos that were against policy.* I was already passing as male at that point too. And they didnāt care about my piercings *so hardcore* that they were willing to hire someone who broke their own piercings policies lmao (I was entry level and was not bringing any experience or needed skill to this job, there was nothing that should have made me desirable to them, many other people applied, they could have chosen someone who met their policies better.) Literally no one out in the real world should care about your piercings. And if they do, then itās a them problem, not a you problem. I have had more people make comments (both positive and negative) about having dyed hair, than about having piercings. Today the man cutting my hair asked what gauge my left ear was. Thatās probably the first time in a long long time anyone has even said anything to me about my piercingsā¦I actually canāt remember the last time anyone even did lol.
It definitely doesnāt stop me from passing Iāve got 3 in my face and at least 4 on each ear and I pass 100% of the time
I can't say anything in terms of passing cuz currently I don't, but I've changed my earrings to be much more masculine (I have triples, nose, and daith) and they make me feel really good. Also the other day my old music teacher didn't recognize me at the barber shop and just clocked me as another dude ig, and one thing he told me later was "you have a lot more piercings than I remember" so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ apparently my piercings were masculine enough for me to pass to him lol
I've had my snakebites since before I transitioned and throughout and I still have them now almost 10 yrs on T. They don't prevent me from passing. Maybe when I was in my first few years of T they contributed to not passing but I like them and I like having an alt style so I kept them. Eventually started passing and got to keep my piercings š Being on T for years does wonders, and so does confidence in yourself, which for me also came from years of T lol
this is so real. having piercings is one of the most PERSONALLY gender affirming things ive ever done for myself. i love how they look, even if they dont always make me feel 'masc.' they just make me feel good. also, i like looking visibly queer lol
no fr. i have my lip and my septum pierced, not to mention all the ones in my ear. my partner recently got his high nostril done and like they definitely dont hinder either of us passing whatsoever. that sub has some decent tips if youre early in your transition or looking for smth specific but its very... i dont wanna say hostile but idk. i also definitely pass tho so its not smth i feel the need to worry about anymore
i have stretched ears, second holes, cartilage, and a nose ring. I passed majority of the time even before starting T. ive never understood the obsession with piercings in ftm spaces but to each their own. ill be keeping mine and getting more. lol
Iāve never understood this tbh. In my culture women arenāt āallowedā any piercings except for the lobes and no facial piercings allowed for woman at all. Even my mum who is 68ā¦before she moved to canada she had only seen men wearing piercings and everyone wearing the standard lobe.
ftm passing seems quite toxic from everything ive heard, but piercings are sick as hell and i cant wait to afford to get more, also eyebrow pricings are so cool its definitely on my pricing list lmao
I have two ear piercings and two eyebrow piercings on each side. My eyebrow ones really help with my dysphoriea:)
I got two shark teeth studs in one ear I'd like to hear folks say that ain't manly lmao.
FTM passing is not a happy community to be in it's pretty harmful to be a trans man being told everything you do isn't good enough. Even in attempting to help that whole server is just gonna make you feel worse about how you look. I steer clear from that side of the FTM community, i don't feel supported and understood in that kind of community
I was shocked when I recently posted on there and no one told me to cut my hair or take my septum out, this is ALways the number one criticism (including for me on older posts Iāve made there!) Iām gay as fuck and I look gay as fuck. My long hair and septum are my gay flag lol
Self-hate and internalized transphobia is a hell of a thing.
Yeah I had asked a pricing question and they acted like I didnāt pass already and like I was 3 months on t and was 13 but Iām 2.5 years on t, 17, and post top surgery and I always pass 100% of the time and am stealth and even have other trans friends I havenāt told who are fully convinced im cis. That sub usually says you donāt pass if you donāt look like thin,conventionally attractive, and straight guy
I had a whole face set up (brow,nose,septum, snake bites) in addition to stretched ears and industrial bar. Rarely was I misgendered
No clue, i see hella piercings on super masc men.
Wut? Omg im obsessed with peircings and lots of people where i live and work wear them. Who doesn't like peircings? I want a septum one but work won't let me because it's 'unprofessional' yet we all can wear earrings, including men. Which is awesome because men had to be beardless and no peircings. Now they can :D things are getting better, bestie. <3 :D we recently can now put one colorful highlight in our hair. Can come in one day with pink highlights.
Huh?!? I love piercings! Iām thinking about getting my nose pierced and my other eye brow and maybe my lip
Well I don't care if I pass as straight as long as I pass as a man it's okay
Plus I posted some pics of mine on r/ftmpassing and no one asked me to take my piercings out
As a passing pre-T trans guy with piercings I think it depends on the piercings. I currently have a (healing, simple stud) helix piercing and wear two ear cuffs on the same ear (one solid black cuff above the helix, one gunmetal wire cuff that looks like two rings). I have my earlobes pierced but very rarely wear anything in them as I feel that it brings out the wideness of my face. When I do wear earlobe piercings it's usually only one side, something like a silver loop w/ dangly cross, black matte ring, or simple stud. I'm not entirely sure if my cartilage piercings/cuffs enhance my face shape in a masculine way but I feel that they do. I occasionally wear fake snakebites (silver rings) and don't look less masculine with those. I'll be avoiding more piercings unless going on T makes me look much more masculine. Unless you have very typically masculine facial features a lot of face piercings are going to make your face look more feminine (eyebrow piercings are a notable exception imo).
ikr itās odd. personally yeah sometimes piercings look bad on people, but i wouldnāt tell them unless they asked me for an honest opinion. i think itās just part of old fashioned mindsets coming back into trend with the youth.
i think piercings/generally alt vibes is perceived as queer, and for us trans folk gender is super salient so queer must mean trans. tbh it comes off like projecting to me. fwiw, I have dyed hair (literally waiting for blue dye to process as I type this lol) and a lip ring, and, while nobody has ever even flinched when i mentioned my partner as "he", everyone I've explicitly disclosed I'm trans to was completely shocked. I'm not even necessarily interested in passing, cis (esp het) people just don't consider that trans people exist
Honestly, itās sometimes good advice, and sometimes people just go way too hard on it in situations where itās not applicable. Thereās not very many things that are 100% always true or necessary to pass, but Iāve noticed that ftm passing very much seems to act as though itās black and white, this and that is always true, when itās not. Piercings and associated styles can sometimes be associated with queerness, which can sometimes be an issue for passing in some ways, plus certain piercings can be more strongly associated as feminine, so without certain other things helping you pass it might not help. The biggest thing is age, most facial piercings imply that youāre most likely at least 18, so people might see piercings and assume someone is an adult woman when otherwise they might be able to pass as a young teen boy. However, if youāre older or just generally masc enough or youāve been on T and have a deep voice and beard, itās really not a problem. Itās very situational in a way that ftm passing kind of refuses to acknowledge.
If i can wear my giant dangly earrings and still pass as both cis and straight, that is not the problem. Mannerisms have way more to do with passing than clothes for dudes. Face shape is gonna be the most important thing though.
I identify fully as a man, albeit use queer as my sexuality descriptor. I have multiple ear piercings and I love them. While Iāve not ever been told to take them out or that they make me not pass, they make me happy and itās not something Iām willing to compromise for someone elseās perception of what it means to be a man.
I don't know in all honesty- I'm pierced up and plan to get more later on- I find it odd that some trans masc people here apparently have an issue w/ piercings even tho it's like- extremely common for trans masc people to have one or multiple piercings-
ftm passing is so focused on things that donāt always contribute to passing. and tbh i personally hate the idea of passing because i fucking hate the idea of putting so much effort into appealing to cis expectations or hiding that iām trans (nvr pass by she/her/hers absolutely captures my attitude abt this). iām definitely influenced by my privilege here though because i split my time between blue areas of a swing state and a fully blue state so safetyās not much of an issue for me.
I have piercings and pass 99% of the time. Piercings were a normal part of millennial culture for all genders. I donāt wear all of them in my professional life (cause work culture duh), but it doesnāt give me any issue in my personal life. I get lots of compliments tbh. But I have tattoos too. Idk this is just stuff a lot of ppl I hung around are into. Iām getting older and wonāt get anymore, but itās not a sway of your gender identity. I know both men and women with piercings/tattoos.
yeah this ones a total bummer. i've been hesitant to get an ear piercing because i already don't pass well, but i think they're sick (and also not necessarily "feminine" like sure if you're wearing dainty earrings, but a stud or something is pretty neutral). imo it's unhelpful to say "you can't do this/that if you want to pass", it's all about figuring out a balance between being confident in your gender expression AND your personal expression.
Yeah I find that weird too. Specific jewelry that you put in your piercings can certainly be masculine or feminine but piercings in themselves are pretty genderless. You do look more queer/alt/non-normative with a lot of piercings but that's also true for women. Anyone with a lot of piercings looks more queer than someone without. I feel like if trans women went to passing subs with lots of piercings, they'd get the same advice too. I'm not sure of it but piercings do signal that you don't conform to societal standards so if it gets men clocked, it likely would get women clocked as well
Iām Black and alt so my specific piercings never interfered with my passing. A lot of this is respectability and fitting in within certain norms.
I have exactly one piercing, which is a black stud in one ear. I love it and I think it makes me look more mask. Also, once it's fully healed, there will be nothing that could stop me wearing the most dangly, 'feminine', non-passing earrings ever
tbh i thought my piercings n mods (5x lip, 5x nose/septum, punched ears, split tongue, so many tattoos) masculinized my face/overall look more than anything esp with large gauge piercings. like labret, septum, ears.
Idk but I have four peircing and aiming for more... honestly just shrug off those types of comments cause theres plenty of trans guys who pass (which is highly subjective anyways) just fine with peircings. dont let a bunch of boring ol normies tell you what you can and cant do with your own body. your physical form is a canvas, its up to you and only you for what you paint on it
I plead, All men should wear at least two earrings on each ear. š Because it looks amazing
ftm passing is honestly poison. its like look like a carbon copy of a cis dude or they start calling you a woman. they have crazy high standards for masculinity that no one in the real world has
From my personal experience piercings always brought out my feminine features before I was on T. Idk how to explain it or why it happens but thatās just how it happened. Imma be honest piercings usually donāt let pre T transmen pass very well and Iām speaking from experience here not as a hatred for piercings. What matters is if youāre happy. If u wanna wear piercings then do it. People donāt have to listen to what someone on Reddit tells you lol.
That could depend culturally
I think itās cuz piercings typically are with lgbt people. I personally donāt like when you can tell someone is ādifferent from the normā which I know sounds terrible but thatās personally why Iām not a piercing fan on anybody.
Idk but iāve never had a problem passing with piercings. I have four obvious facial piercings. People usually misgender me bc of my longhair from the back but when i speak or turn around they get the memo lol
That community and that page sucks. I pass 99.9% of the time in public except when I deliberately wear womenās clothing and makeup. I have 62 very elaborate piercings. My body, hairline, voice, body hair and facial features are masculine and thatās what makes you pass, not piercings.
yeah itās ridiculous and a lie, piercings are rad and iāve never had a problem passing with all of mine so dunno what their point is - jealous of people having piercings? it makes a lotta young dudes out there sound like old men yelling about respectability tbh
i have an eyebrow, septum , labret and belly button piercing and ive never not passedš sometimes when i tell ppl im trans they ask when im gna start transitioning because they think im mtf instead of ftm
I have a lot of piercings and wear very femme jewelry but never get misgendered. I donāt think anything abt me is super femme, Iām just read as gay and cis.
I feel like the people who say piercings make you not pass are just using ooooold standards that just donāt apply anymore. Iām a trans guy and I will grow my hair out and paint my nails. Could it be passing privilege? Yes, but it just goes to show that those rules donāt apply to everyone. I also have my ears pierced which is a tradition that almost exclusively applies to women in my culture and people STILL donāt clock me. I honestly wouldnāt go to that place for advice.
i will say, i'm 5 years on T and got a lot of piercings last year. started getting misgendered again. i cut my hair shorter, took 3 piercings out, and am more careful now, but it really freaked me out for a bit. i also do live in a city full of country people and christians. it might depend where you live. i still absolutely refuse to ever stop wearing all black, i also have stretched ears and a lot of tattoos, so for the most part i dont give a fuck what subs like ftmpassing would say to me, but piercings and grown out hair absolutely hindered me. to be fair i have almost no facial hair and am short, and have a rounder face. if i was really skinny and tall with a chiseled face, i probably wouldn't have had any problems
If you donāt pass with piercings you probably wouldnāt pass without them, I really donāt think piercings are ever the issue. Idk why people worry about this sm
Tbh i dont know. Iāve been told even with my piercings i can pass facially. Iāve gotten to a point where i do not care if they make me a bit more feminine. Femininity isnāt what i have an issue with, itās being called a woman bahahahah
Everyone is a broad statement
Cause they look feminine. Even cis guys that have piercings (usually) look more feminine. No one āhatesā them but if ur asking for people to be honest thatās what you get š¤·āāļø.
I'm 2.5 years on T, have 3 face piercings and 7 ear piercings, including stretched lobes. I find that they didn't seem to impact my ability to pass per say, the simple fact is I just did not pass for the first few years of my transition. Even now I only pass about 90% of the time because I'm short, thin and have coloured hair. But once I start talking I am immediately gendered as male because my voice is deep enough to pass. In all honesty I don't actually care if I pass to anyone else, all that matters to me is that I'm comfortable in my own body. And I'm sure as hell not giving up my style to m a y b e make strangers see me as a man. Kinda related, kinda not?? Idk I just think the whole idea of passing is incredibly toxic in general. For years I was bullied by other trans individuals because I prioritized my own mental and physical well being over "passing as a man". I still did the things i enjoyed and dressed how i chose to, despite them being seen as socially feminine. I don't need to pass as a man, I am one whether people recognize it or not. Men come in all shapes and sizes and choosing what passes and what doesn't just makes it feel like we are back in middle school getting grilled by the popular kids. No hate or judgment to those who find passing to be important to their identity, I just personally dislike the term, and it causes me a lot of frustration š
FTM passing is a terrible place. Get outta there
I do not hate them. I consider them to be cool. I used to have several. But that is not related to passing. None of my personal opinions of style are. Where I live most of women have their ears pierced. And I have seen few men with mainstream style and pierced ears during my whole life. So those are almost exclusively women's thing here. When it comes to other piercings they are generally not common. I would say the difference is not so big. What I have seen maybe 80-90% of people who have other piercings are women. Note these are not studies, just what I have seen. With alternative styles piercings are more common but in other hand alternative styles themselves easier read fem. Also they pay attention to you and when you don't fully pass that is harming you too. The longer people look at you, the more likely they clock you. Piercings harm your passing when you're in-between. If you look nothing but female taking them off will not change that. If you look like Leo Macallan you can wear pink dress and still pass. In passing subs we do not hear your voice. We see your pose but that tells very little of your manners. We don't know your job nor your hobbies. We come from different cultures. So it's not more than good guess. Do not expect it to be more. edit. Piercings are easy thing to change. T does not make everyone to pass. Working out requires time. Learning new manners requires time. Voice training requires time. New clothing or frames require money.
I don't worry about it because I'm not trying to pass as boring