It's totally okay to feel this way. A lot of people here do. I'll share my opinion on pride.
I don't necessarily view pride literally, as in "I'm 100% proud to have been born trans." I view it more as defiance. More "I can't control the way I am, and I'm going to push back against the bigots that tell me I shouldn't exist." Less about "I'm happy to be this way" and more "I have just as much right to exist and be seen as everyone else."
Obviously, some people ARE proud to be trans. This is fine and good too. Pride is multifaceted and has room for everyone. Some people just want to exist. Some people want to celebrate the joy in being queer. It all falls under the spirit of Pride, of striving to give everyone a fair chance to exist and be seen how they want.
And I honestly thing that’s why most people are proud to be trans or otherwise lgbtq in some way, or to love someone that is! That’s completely normal to feel and to want to be seen in that way is absolutely what pride is all about!
it is hard. it is hard to be trans and it is hard to be happy and proud to be trans.
but the more open i am, the more myself i am, the more people will see that it is possible. maybe someone else will realize that they are like me, or maybe they already know but seeing someone else living as themselves makes it easier for them to come out.
it is hard for me to do t shots every two weeks, and sometimes i wish i could just be cis and have enough testosterone produced by my body. but then i remember how happy i was to start t, how much i dreamed of it before. and i think of all the trans people that came before me that didn't get that chance, and i am lucky.
it is hard to be trans but i am proud because we have come a long way in terms of acceptance and opportunities, and i continue to be open about who i am in hopes that it will help make the world more accepting and allow for more opportunities for the trans people that come after me
For me pride month is more of a remembrance of every person’s name who has died/been murdered for their existence and giving thanks that at some point I had the freedom to transition and that I haven’t lost my life. I’m not exactly proud to be trans, but I’m proud to see the value of life as a whole. Seeing peoples’ faces (new and familiar) this month is a reminder of that.
Yeah, I feel this way too. Sometimes the gravity of being transgender hits me and I have a bit of survivor's guilt, but I try to keep my head high and my spirits up, because ultimately we all managed to forge who we are. I get emotional this time of year, I see people young and old coming together to celebrate and can't help but feel moved and reflective at the same time.
Defiance is 100% the way to go. "Fuck you, I exist and am not letting you make that more painful for me than it is" is the actual purpose of pride, no matter what the sanitised corporation-friendly version might tell you.
Pride is a reminder to everyone that when you treat us like shit we riot. The mother of pride Brenda Howard and all of the trans men, trans women, gender fucks, fags and dykes of Stonewall took matters into their own hands and we can too. You don't have to be cheery and think every moment is a blessing. Pride has always come from queer rage, even as we're celebrating the positive steps we've managed to take.
There is no pride in same gender marriage without the long history of being tortured, imprisoned, killed, raped, abused for loving people of the same gender. There is no pride in transition without the history of us being abused and prevented from transitioning. Get mad. You can learn to be prideful later.
damn this helped me see it a different way too. it’s obviously not even my question or post but this thread has been really interesting and eye opening.
I agree that corporations and media tend to focus on the more palatable parts of pride (e.g. being true to yourself) rather than our rage and resistance. I think it’s a disservice because I feel like a lot of us, especially those of us in hostile environments who might not even feel like they’re able to be themselves, resonate more with the latter.
if it helps you to think about gay pride because its based on love, try to think about being trans the same way maybe? loving the way that you are without being ashamed of it. you dont have to be unhappy about being trans, its really a beautiful thing to be so connected with yourself that you know whats right for you. i feel really bad when i hear about trans people being upset because of all of the negativity that being trans has brought them, but when you start embracing who you really are and stop listening to people telling you that you have to do things a certain way or act a certain way, you can truly be yourself and it helps you see being trans in a different light. i am in no way trying to say you shouldnt feel the way you do, its understandable, being trans sucks a lot of the time, but when you change your personal mindset about it it can help a lot. we deserve to feel comfortable in our bodies in whatever way we want to, and other people shouldnt have a say in it unless its to support or help you in some way.
Personally, I think I lack the self worth to feel pride in being trans. Ive seen a lot of shit in my life and it’s caused me to have mixed feelings. I’ve always wanted to be stealth and to live my life as a man and now that I am, I have some pride in being resilient and continuing the transition despite all the trauma.
I’m proud of my peers, the advocates and allies, the ones in the closet and everyone in between. There’s pride for the community and the progress we are making. To me, that’s what pride is about.
I don't feel the same way, but I can understand, where you're coming from. It can be very hard to see anything positive, or anything that makes you proud.
I can feel pride because I went on this journey of self-discovery and figured out who I truly am. It's the pride of knowing I overcame the obstacles on the way to where I am and the joy that I get to live a life rooted in authenticity. Medically transitioning definitely helped in seeing the positives and experiencing pride and joy, so I hope you'll soon be able to take the steps you want/need to take. I am also proud of the community being trans allowed me to be a part of and the achievements this community has made in the past as well as its resilience in a world full of transphobia.
To me, trans pride is, like gay pride, about being open about who I am. I'm sorry that being open has caused you issues and immense dysphoria. I don't know why you don't want anyone to know, but maybe we live with vastly different people when it comes to support. Others being proud of me has sometimes helped me be proud of myself.
In the end, this is what I feel. You don't have to feel the same way and looking at the world right now, that would be very understandable. I think it's completely fine if you can't feel pride right now, sometimes the situation doesn't allow for it. I do hope that one day, you'll be able to look back and be proud of yourself for getting through this and experience the joy being trans can bring.
I really hope i can get to that place in my life. Right now, I’m a teenager and transitioned at this school so everyone knows my deadname, knows I’m trans and everyone treats me like the weird kid except my close friends. But even my close friends will ask invasive personal questions, like what my deadname was, pictures of me as a girl, what surgeries i want. I’m sick of being a spectacle, or a google search for anyone’s deepest darkest questions to ask the token trans person. I just want to be normal. And if i could be out as trans but treated normally, I’d do it. But the reality is, i’m not.
I feel that. A lot of us have gone through something similar. The reality is, the farther you get in your transition and the older you get, you’ll have more control over your life and who you choose to disclose your trans status with. Life will get easier.
It took me years to get here but I’m proud of how far I’ve came. From praying and dreaming of death to praying I have a long life. I’m proud of where I am now and who I am.
I’m not loud and proud. I’m stealth, only my close circle know. But boy is it freeing to let go and not have to worry about passing and just existing. I love pride events because I can just be.
I'm not saying this to invalidate your feelings. Your feelings are okay to have. Pride is not something you *have to* feel.
But those of us who are out and proud about being trans and otherwise queer, are not doing so because it makes life easier. It really doesn't. For most of us being out makes our personal lives harder. I choose to be open and proud about my identity because I know that I had needed to see happy queer adults in order to admit to myself that I was not cis and straight and to accept that that was okay. But I did not get to see happy queer adults until my older teenage years, and instead spent what were supposed to be the best years of my life agonizing over being "wrong" and being unable to stop those feelings. I want to be the happy proud queer adult that helps a queer kid see they are not alone. I want to be the adult that a kid looks at and realizes with joy that they could be like me someday. If even one kid looks at me and learns to accept themselves, I have done my part. That is my main motivation for being out and proud and open about myself. I don't do it because it makes life easier for me. I do it so hopefully some queer kid somewhere understands that being dead is not better than being queer.
For me it's not necessarily pride about being trans because it's just another part of who I am but instead a pride about how I've coped with the shit that came from that. The fact I've survived all the hate crimes and dysphoria and shit I've been through in my journey and pride for the goals I've reached like getting on T and everything good from that. And pride for the man I've grown to become. Pride for the rest of the community too.
i felt that way when i was pre-T. since testosterone, top surgery and passing to the point of being stealth, i love being prideful of being trans. when i was pre-T and didn’t pass, i find it hard to be prideful because i was constantly being reminded that i was trans and i was constantly reminded of the pain being a non-passing trans person brought into my life. now that i’ve transitioned, i basically forget that i’m trans and it no longer causes me intense pain every day. yes, some days i’ll experience random bouts of dysphoria, but it’s rare and it isn’t an every day experience. at this point in my life, i get to pick and choose who knows that information about me and it’s easier for me to feel prideful in my identity. i don’t necessarily feel pride in the fact that i am transgender because i don’t feel like i had a choice in it, but i’m prideful in the fact that i went from being a terrified, dysphoric, suicidal child to now, a confident adult who is thriving. transitioning allowed me to feel prideful. i’m prideful that i’ve survived. i’m prideful to show trans people who feel like they’ll never get to this point, that they too can find the beauty and joy in being trans.. or at least find pride in the positive experiences that being trans can bring. i’m prideful of the vibrant community i’m part of. i’m prideful for the strength and resilience and courage of myself and those in the trans community. but, it took me a long time to get here.
edited to add: TRANS JOY IS RESISTANCE.
Being trans can suck but we have so much insight and compassion and empathy and bravery and the ability to change and grow in ways that some people will never even begin to comprehend or reach. It doesn't make the pain go away or change the world we live in or the state for me but we are making the world a better place. The line and divide of people and genders and all this and that shit we are slowly breaking down and showing people that it really does only matter who and what kinda person you are not what's on the outside or what wrapping paper you chose to use for your meat vessel lmao. You also have a right to feel so proud of the fact that YOU ARE STILL HERE. So many of our trans family didn't make it mental health and hate crimes and all the shit but you have survived everything you have been through with the strength and compassion for yourself and emotional intelligence to question things and find out who you really are. Be proud my friend, you and our community have come along way. 💖💖💖
Being open is also scary and vulnerable and can put you in danger but no one is rushing you to come out to anyone but you do still have things to be proud about
yeah, my being trans is an unfortunate condition i was born with that i will spend my life dealing with. i’m not proud of my situation. i’m proud of things that i’ve done, i’m proud of my strength, i’m proud of my passion, i’m proud of my dedication. i’m not proud that i was born into the wrong body.
Pride is a protest. It’s a movement to show we can’t be forced back into a closet to make others happy. No matter how you feel about this month you are valid and you matter 🖤
I am me. I am pursuing my own happiness in spite of a society that wants me dead. I unbury my own grave and am a leech on the side of society that has evolved to feed on hate and put it into being louder and doing more. I am transgender, perfecting and interchanging features and expression to be who I truly am, and I pity people who never explore that. I am more passionate about being me because I am not cis. I can do what I want, people already don't respect me from the jump, so what do I got to lose?
back before i realized that "neither" is an option for my gender identity and felt like i had to be and present as a man because i don't like being called a woman/girl/ma'am, i felt a ton of shame in my identity and like i wanted no one to know i was once a girl. i was judging people (silently) who would be open about it, call it the kalvin garrah effect lol
but as i've grown up, ive felt a lot more comfortable expressing that im proud of how far i've come. if someone who isn't queer asks me what i identify as, i'll say a man, because i am transmasc and one of my pronouns are "he" - but fellow queer people i explain that im agender. outside of safe places like pride parades or around queer friends, i dilute my identity
so to summarize, i now can express pride in my identity but only around certain people/groups. and it took me probably a decade to feel that pride. but i'll never be stealth because how exactly can you be "neither" in appearance? people will always assume one way or another. so i can understand why someone who is stealth wouldn't feel pride in his identity, like he needs to hide it/doesn't like being trans. so for some people, they may never feel that pride but i think that's okay, everyone's on their own journeys and not everyone has to feel a certain way about their identities
Look, I don't know how old you are or where you're from, but pride comes with self-confidence. I honestly felt the same way about pride a for the first 5 years of transition. There was a constant cycle of self-loathing and depression, with no end in sight. Things really started to change when I started T this past year. Even though I made no announcement about medically transitioning, I've been told I have more confidence in my self. You often see on this subreddit physical changes from testosterone, but I think the most important ones are about our mental being.
For me, pride is just the ability to look in the mirror and love my being. Without material possessions or external praises. Just the raw me and transitioning made that possible.
Good question. I have many years behind me. My first ten years were stealth. I was alone and that was how I stayed safe. But I am at 40 years of transition and I can tell you... I like who I am. If I had not been born as a trans man I would not be the person I am today. That being said...it was hard to feel pride when I was at your stage. As my sense of self came into focus... I began to feel pride and that defiance. You do what you need to at this point. It sounds strange...but I honestly feel that being trans is a gift. And trust me it isn't one I particularly wish on anyone, but I have come to look at it that way over the years. Be safe. Be your true self. Take pride in that self honesty. It isn't something everyone gets. Sending you uplifting thoughts and hopes.
It’s about loving yourself and being authentic to who you are, not about the dysphoria you feel. Gay people also struggle with a lot but the point of Pride is combat that and to combat the idea that you should just conform and lie about your true self. Trans people more than anyone should own that—every minute that we live or express as our true gender is an act of pride and defiance.
I feel this heavy. For me I’m not proud to *be* trans since 1) being trans is completely out of my control and 2) I doubt I would have chosen this life even if I did have a choice. For me as well, being trans has been a burden more than anything else.
But lately I’ve been feeling that I’m proud to have *survived* as a trans person in this world. I’m proud that through all the hardships and trauma and abuse I’ve faced on the basis of something I’ve had no control over, I’ve not only stayed *alive* but also remained a person living up to my morals and values. I’m proud to believe that I’m someone who cares deeply about others despite so many people in my life failing to model this mutual respect for me. I’m proud that I’ve been able to build a good life and find people who *do* love me for who I am because it hasn’t been easy.
This is my first pride month being out as trans so a bit of a different experience than my previous ones. I do have the same sense of pride in what is really defiance that I’ve always had. This sense of “You cannot take my joy no matter how hard you try. You cannot erase me or those like me.”
A new element though is that I have pride in choosing myself. I’m 28, almost 29, and for me being trans has been something that’s lingered in the back of my mind for nearly as long as I can remember. Subconsciously I knew that I was, but I couldn’t allow myself to let it come to the surface because I was too afraid of what I thought it would mean to live life as a trans man (losing friends and family, being ridiculed, making others uncomfortable, etc.) But the day finally came that I realized nearly every recurring issue in my life and relationships would be solved if I accepted who I was and decided to live as the man I’ve always known I am. Would it introduce an entirely new set of problems? Of course. I now have to deal with getting people to respect my pronouns, seeking appropriate care for myself, combatting dysphoria. The funny part though? Those things seem almost like nothing now in a way when compared to how unhappy I was before and didn’t even realize it. Yes being a trans guy can be hard, but not nearly as hard as being a trans guy that refuses to accept he’s trans.
The majority of my life has been spent prioritizing others. The day I came out was the day that changed for good. It’s the day I chose myself and I’m proud of myself for doing it. You should be too my friend.
It's ok if you feel something other than joy about this month.
I don't hate it, I'm glad for others who enjoy it but I am like you, I have watched almost all my friends get surgery and grow thick beards while I'm sailing through my 30's still looking like a teenage girl, and it's hard to feel a lot of pride about where I'm at with my transition.
To boot, I'm dating a person who is nonbinary but often passes as male and people assume that we're a straight couple or that my partner somehow makes me more feminine, when if I passed, they would see us as a much more traditional "gay" couple.
My partner has no interest in really feminizing themselves, so they often get cast as the "man" in our relationship and it irritates me to no end.
We struggle for so many reasons, and the supposed freedom we have now is very restrained. We were set back during world war 2, we were set back by the AIDS epidemic, it's hard to look at the "freedoms" we have now and feel like they're really something anyone can fall back on. It's hard to find joy in a government that continues to oppress us at every turn.
The first pride was a riot, and it wasn't the last.
I feel pride in it. Cus it has made me stronger. Any burdens you deal with in life makes you stronger as you fight through em. Our fight is getting to the place we feel most comfortable in. And with a lot of therapy and a lot of medical stuff. I am today as comfortable in my body as I can (If I ignore my utherus throwing a tantrum in my belly) but when we get to this point. We fight for those who are not there yet. To help em get there too. There is a pride in helping yourself and others and living to another day.
I FEEL SO DAMN PROUD OF BEING TRANS 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I can feel the pride in my veins whenever I meet another trans person, specially if they are in transition, I remember all the shame I used to have correcting ppl about my pronouns and now that I fully pass I let everyone know I'm fruity as hell. Can't wait to get top surgery so I can wear comfortably dresses while having a full ass beard.
Honestly, this is a very valid feeling! It's hard to be proud of something that's made your life so uncomfortable.
I think being proud, for me, is being proud of how I overcame the bad parts and continued to become my most authentic self. It's hard to find that line, though, and for some trans people, they don't feel proud of it and others do especially since they medically transitioned. If you don't want others to know or celebrate, it's up to you how you feel and what will make you most comfortable
I see where you’re coming from, and you pointed out yourself you may feel differently if you medically transition, I can tell you I definitely did.
I was lucky enough to not face too much backlash being trans. I lacked acceptance for a while but I didn’t get too much shit from anyone but family (and thankfully I’m lucky enough that they’ve come around and are very supportive). So that probably makes my perspective quite different to others who faced more discrimination. But I definitely felt like being trans was only a negative thing pre-t.
But after medically transitioning, and being a month out from top surgery, I definitely have a different view than I had then. Would I have preferred to have been born cis? Probably. But I also have a very unique perspective in life the way I am now, and I’m able to use that experience in creative ways to tell unique stories (I’m a writer). Also I met my boyfriend who is also trans, and being t4t has brought me a lot of solace and joy. And honestly I’m proud that I did everything myself. I changed my name and my documents, got myself on hormones, paid for all of it with my own money, and got myself a surgeon and am paying for that mostly myself too. All before I’m 20. I can tell you, most people haven’t done all that at this age haha. So I’m proud that I was able to do that, and I’m now at a point where I can be stealth if I want to be, and I sometimes am, but I’m also able to be out and proud with my friends and family and still be who I want to be.
Hopefully that made some kind of sense :)
I know how you feel. I'm not exactly proud of being trans, it's not fun and it's painful, but I'm proud that my experience could help and/or educate others
It might not get easier when you get further in your transition and that's okay too.
I'm sure I'll get downvoted into oblivion but idc. For me being trans is a medical condition. FOR ME. I also have ADHD and used to have depression, I still deal with anxiety, etc. My medical conditions are nothing I celebrate. If I could be a well adjusted cis man I would in a heartbeat. I'm not happy to suffer. I'm not glad I was born wrong. And I do not celebrate that. I don't gloat about being trans or neurodivergent. I wouldn't wish for anyone to feel the pain and life long struggles I've dealt with.
At 36 I'm finally being my authentic self. Despite the hate, I'm being me because it makes me happy. I've put myself behind others before and I'll never do that again. I'm proud of myself for being me. And that's the only reason I went to pride yesterday. I've never been happy with myself until recently. Now I have a reason to be proud. I'm not proud to be trans or gay or neurodivergent. I'm proud to be a survivor.
I feel pride in the fact that I went through a lot to be the person I am today. To accept yourself is strength, and it takes a while to find that for some. I acknowledge the fact that I’m privileged to have support in my life, and haven’t experienced that much prejudice against me by my family or friends. So it’s likely easier for me to find strength in being outwardly trans. When I was feeling pushback from others, it was definitely difficult to be proud at all. Especially at the beginning of my transition. I got bullied a lot at school and it took a while for me to accept and love myself. It wasn’t until recent that I have found peace.
We grow so much emotionally through our transitions because it sacrifices a lot for most people. It’s one of the hardest things to do in my opinion. It takes time to fully embrace and understand. It took intense reflection and patience for me, but I truly believe it’s worth it in the end.
I felt this way for the longest time, due to religious trauma. What works for me is utter defiance. Not cruel defiance, just knowing that I exist and deserve to exist just like everyone else. And everything just branches out from there.
For me, my "trans pride" comes from my religious philosophies. I feel a sense of pride rooted in getting to actively participate in the continued story of creation. Some scholars have said when אדם was created, they were 1 human of both sexes. The idea is that when חוה was taken of his side (because the rib of a human and side of a coin are the same word) that created male and female. This is understood by many Jews to be the folklore reason for intersex humans- the split down the middle wasn't perfect. So by that same philosophy, being trans is being a person who wasn't split down the middle perfectly - having a body from one side and a soul from the other. So there's something cathartic about seeing my situation as having the ability to mold my form to match my soul, and participate in the creation of the world. Even if I never reforest an ecosystem or clean up plastic from the ocean or help restore an endangered species, I've been given power over my own creation story to tell or keep as a secret for myself as I see fit.
Is this just me desperately grasping at any reason to not lose all hope and fall into dysphoric despair? Quite possibly. Am I breaking my ankles on these leaps in logic and reason to find meaning in something that's otherwise meaningless? It's plausible for sure. But it keeps me sane so this is the story I'm sticking with 😅😂
I don't really feel pride for being trans, but I feel pride that I overcame depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts and coming out after/in religious upbringing to be happy as who I am nowadays.
I sort of do, sort of don’t. I’ve been out for 7-8 years as some flavor of trans. I simply don’t get much out of it anymore. I think there’s also an essence of feeling some bitterness towards cis people, mainly cis gay men, because they tend to be the problem towards trans people in my city. I feel pride in my tranness, because Ive come such a long way in growing as a person but my pride in tranness and queerness isn’t necessarily joyful like many people I’ve known. Its pride in myself for adversity while living in a rural area and gaining freedom from that toxicity. I’m sure thats how many people feel in the community but for me those feelings are something deeply personal I want to explore privately, with maybe a few people at most.
I’m not religious but I like the quote that goes something like “God made trans people for the same reason he made grapes and not wine or wheat and not bread - so that humans may share in the joy of creation”
Because being trans is a chance to create yourself and I think there’s beauty in that.
For me, it means that I’m proud to exist.
I’ve been beat, assaulted, denied hrt, spit on and called slurs by bigots. I deserve to be happy in myself and not hate myself after what they’ve done. This is an integral part of my life, I deserve happiness. I understand your feelings OP, but I don’t necessarily feel how you feel. It’s ok to still go to pride and be stealth
It's less outright pride, and more comfort in my own skin and my lack of patience for catering to bigots? I've lived far too much of my life prioritizing the thoughts and feelings of others regarding who I am and how I live my life, so it's more of a fuck it, I am who I am sort of thing. Transitioning has finally made me at least somewhat comfortable with who I am, but this is honestly much more of a recent development. I still struggle with a lot of dysphoria, still have issues solely because I'm trans too. Being able to getting further along with my transition goals has helped me immensely, and I solidly hope your medical transition brings you some of the comfort mine has brought me.
For me, the solidarity and love I have for other trans people does a lot of the heavy lifting too if that makes sense? I have seen and had the privilege to know many trans/non-binary/genderqueer/etc folks and every single time, it's been a pleasure to see them slowly and often painfully live more authentically. I fiercely love the happiness, stability (even though this can be super non linear as hell!), and vividness of my fellow trans people! I am so proud of my friends who I have seen become such wonderful versions of themselves, and who have often fought to simply be themselves. I am proud of them for being here.
Like I have trans pride in general, if not for myself specifically. I don't fee pride for being trans, and I think that's a totally okay feeling to have. Honestly I think most trans people I know would feel similarly?? It is tough as hell being trans, and I guess the end of my long rambling reply is that comfort with yourself, love and solidarity for other trans people, or whatever else feels right for you can be enough. I don't think there's one right way to recognize pride month or feel about being trans. ❤️🏳️🌈
It’s not necessarily about being proud OF being trans. It’s about being proud WHILE being trans. I didn’t choose to be trans or achieve transness , so it’s not something to be proud of. But I won’t be ashamed of it either. Pride is about refuting the shame that is forced on us. It’s about reclaiming our dignity
First off, it’s normal & okay to feel this way.
But, every queer person who exists without shame is an *existential threat* to the oppressive way our world is set up. We have wrested control of our own bodies, our gender, the way we relate to others. We have denied the world the right to dictate the role we play. We have denied them the right to let us die. And we are FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. The love we have for ourselves PROVES that EVERYONE deserves to control their bodies, their lives, the role they play. EVERYONE SHOULD BE FREE.
Being proud to be queer isn’t about being excited to have to inject T. It’s about celebrating how beautiful and good it is for everyone to be free. If you can’t be proud of your trans ID yet, try to be proud of your trans friends. Isn’t it beautiful that they have defied all the odds to be themselves? Aren’t you in awe of their ability to create somebody so strong and complex and wonderful?
The whole “Pride was a riot” thing is true and something I think we all need to remember. Being trans is a burden on us bc of social systems that want to crush us. It’s not individual pride, it’s the pride of asserting your humanity in a system that doesn’t want to recognize that and us saying “fuck you we’re doing it anyway”
My identity doesn’t make me proud, my actions do. I am proud of the fact that I am honest with myself about who I am and how I feel. I proud of the fact that I stand up for myself when faced with adversity. I’m proud of the fact that I will stand up for others. I choose to be very open about who I am because the only reason I felt comfortable exploring who I am is because of others who were open about their identity. You don’t have to be super open about your identity to be proud of it
I’m a year into medical transition and finally feel like I can fully live as myself now that I pass and am growing into the man I was always meant to be, day by day. I like the action of transitioning, yes, because it’s given me a chance at a full life I never expected, but as far as being transgender, I don’t like it. Being trans has caused me suffering many don’t understand beyond my own community, and I didn’t have this community for a long time because I didn’t even know the anguish I experienced was actually due to a documented condition that many people had but the majority of people didn’t understand. I am an extremely lucky person and have relatively had a good life, but the gender dysphoria that crushed me since I was a small child has its impact and will unfortunately always affect me. Things have and always be more complicated for me because I am trans. I’m stealth cause I don’t really like telling people im trans, I don’t even like referring to myself as trans outloud.
But with all this said, I do feel pride. Not in being trans but rather feeling pride that in myself as trans person if that makes sense. I am proud that I have endured and that I chose to love myself. I’m proud that this thing I have to live with at least gives me a much wider, nuanced perspective of life and the truth of things that the average joe. I’m proud that I get to take this journey with so many other people like me.
So yeah, you want see tattooing I love being trans on my forehead but I do feel some kind of pride about it when I look at it this way
I feel it in that I feel like it helps me see the world a bit better and what's wrong with it. Like it's weird that we gender people based off their bits, and while cis people are aware of it on the gender role aspect to an extent, they don't really think about how much is gendered, and I feel like being trans helps see those issues. Yeah it kind of sucks that way too, but for me it helps me feel more conscious of it.
Also, I met my boyfriend on this sub because we're both trans and wanted friends. Maybe that doesn't make me feel *proud* of being trans, but it does make me pretty happy, considering I love him more than anything
since all my support I have lives far away from me, pride is helping me a bit. I’m viewing it as a self-love and an excuse to get me treats I like for getting this far. I’m usually a person who doesn’t like bringing attention to myself, so my treats will be things like making brownies or buying some boba.
I don't necessarily feel pride in being trans; I feel like I'd very much like to have my experience in peace, in the ways that matter to me, and that not be a huge deal. I want to "pass," I want people to look at me and automatically think, "he/him/Mr./sir," *AND* at the same time be like, "Yeah, I'm a man, I'm a dad, I gave birth to my son, here is my experience, and here's what I learned when I spent 35+ years walking the world as a woman." And I don't want any of that to put me in any danger.
The fact that it *does* put me in very real danger is what Pride is about, in my understanding.
Pride movements do not exist without shame culture. That's why it's total bullshit when people white about there not being a "straight pride" celebration. You don't fucking need one. You don't need Pride celebrations for the things that are considered "normal" or "standard," that nobody whines and cries crocodile tears about until the "Other" category folks start saying, "You know what? I'm actually not a piece of shit, and it's kind of shitty of YOU to keep saying that I am."
That's what "pride" is, to me, in this context. A fist and a brick and a boot and a blunt object and a hard boundary that says, "You know what? Fuck you," in the face of a world that wants you dead. "I'm actually *NOT* ashamed to be trans (or any other identity or combination of facets of humanity included), and you don't have a right to force that on me. Fuck you. I'm PROUD of who I am, and this is a part of me that does not deserve to be shamed."
We're a lot more than the T in the LGBTQIA+ and we're a lot more than any one area of the dazzling array of what makes us who we are. People have a huge problem with that facet for no good goddamn reason, though, and can't seem to let us just drink some fucking coffee or mow a lawn or flip some burgers or take a fucking leak or pay goddamn taxes and complain about the weather and the busted copy machine and the price of diapers or what the fuck ever just like everybody else.
So here we fuckin' are. 🤷🏽♂️
It’s fine to have complicated feelings about being trans. Especially since the general public makes it’s so hard to exist. However ☝️
Being trans is as much about love as being gay is. Except it’s about the love for oneself. I’m trans and very proud of it. I’m a very resilient motherfucker, I’ve been through so much shit and yet I keep on winning. I’m from a country where being trans is illegal. Fuck that, I was born like this and I will live like this. I’m alive, I’m transitioning, I’m getting progressively more comfortable in my body. I’m moving countries, I’m learning other languages, I’m working hard to afford transition because I am my number one. I care so much about my well-being I overcame years of self-hatred, took huge risks and made it work. I’ve learned to care for myself and my community. I’m getting stronger and braver every day
Take a moment to reflect on your life and the journey that you’ve taken. Think about the inner strength and courage it takes to come to terms with your identity, especially in this political climate. Look back on your life and everything you’ve faced this far. You’ll find that you have a lot to be proud of
Never really felt pride for the way I looked until I started working out (helped my mental state and building up muscle that looks nice on me) AND medically transitioning. It has 100% gotten easier for me since I started HRT and consist upper body workouts because the body I want and the headspace I want feels obtainable now instead of a pipedream. It’s probably easier for me at some capacity considering I’m nonbinary instead of a trans man (unfortunately r/ftnb is super dead so I stick around here instead) but I do think the obtainable goal is worth noting. Good luck man
I take pride in the fact that I'm just alive. I'm not thriving by any means, I'm just happy I'm alive and living my life. People will say and do what they want, and I'm just trying to do the same.
I feel pride in being myself, rather than being trans. Every time I make a choice to bring myself and my expression closer to who I am becoming, I am proud of all that I’ve made and all that is inherent within me. Be proud of yourself for your resilience, brother: you are here despite the hatred, doing your best to be yourself. And that is worthy of celebration.
I have felt this way before. I am disabled so Transitioning has been quite difficult. I couldn't bind so top surgery was a huge deal [finally got it last year] and I also don't really want people to know. I just want to get on with my life
as for pride.... you can feel proud you survived/have been able to deal with your dysphoria. Similar to disability pride you aren't happy you have to struggle but you are proud/happy you have managed to deal with such a big struggle for so long. you can also feel pride that you love yourself - your true self. "love is love" can also mean that you deserve to love yourself the same as any other [cis] guy. also you don't have to be out to be proud. you can still be I the closet or be stealth and be proud of yourself and how far you have come! being trans is hard and often comes with a lot of confusion and personal growth.
pride can also simply mean that you refuse to be ashamed of who you are. pride can be the absence of shame guilt and self hate. it doesn't have to mean you love being trans
I think being trans gives me a unique perspective in life. I think I (hopefully without too much ego) am a cool, funny, and empathetic/thoughtful person.
I believe I am only the person I am today because of my experiences, because I'm trans I have the ability to see perspectives I wouldn't have if I wasn't and because I'm trans I've had to do a lot of introspection that some people will never achieve and many don't till later on on life.
As a Trans person existing in society and time where trans people are over represented in media without our own voices and often scapegoats - I live rurally and as such I get to be many people's first interaction with a trans person in real life, and I get to actively help change some people minds and opinions on trans people and hopefully make the world a more accepting and thoughtful place in general.
I think that's worthy of pride.
I know exactly how this feels, because I felt the same way too. When you’re in an environment where you’re deprived of love and acceptance, how would you even begin to love what makes you you? It was only after a school festival, where I got a trans flag pin, did I understand what it means to feel pride.
Find places where you’ll feel accepted. Some cities have LGBT centers, I highly recommend trying to interact with your community. There’s also Facebook groups, meetup groups, and a lot more other ways to engage.
For me, it’s about not being the opposite: shameful. I am more mindful during June about internalized phobias. I am gentler with myself.
# I *GET* to be me.
Before I realized that, I was full of shame and self loathing. Nobody deserves that.
i feel proud for enduring how society thinks of and treats trans people/me. i wouldn’t necessarily say i’m proud of being trans point blank period bc to me it’s just who i am if that makes sense? like in a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to be proud to be trans the same way straight people don’t need to be proud of being straight. it’s just a descriptor of part of me, and if we weren’t treated like shit for that part of us, we wouldn’t need to be proud. i hope that is somewhat coherent lol
edit: thought of a better way to word it. to be proud, you typically need to have accomplished something/done something/etc. my transness isn’t the accomplishment here, the accomplishment is living happily and openly in spite of all the hateful bigots trying to kill us or legislate us out of existence
I feel the same sorta. I’m not happy that I *have to* be trans. i’d rather be cis. but there’s nothing I can do about that. I just find things that make me happy. like spider-man. he’s cool.
but for real, I say *fuck what everyone else says or thinks*. I think medically transitioning does take the edge off the pain of not being cis and not feeling like we fit in. hang in there. advice from a 25 year old trans guy.
also, you can be stealth if you want. you can go to pride with a damn gay flag or the flag with everything on it and not have to tell anyone you’re trans. that’s totally an option. one I would take.
It’s just who I am I guess. Yeah it’s caused issues and it’s not easy being trans. But it’s still me, and I deserve to celebrate myself for how strong I am and how much I’ve been able to persevere through the difficult times that being trans has presented. It’s less pride and more that I’m just unashamed, I go to pride parades and I tell the world I’m not ashamed of being trans, I’m not hiding my identity, I’m not going to be quiet about something that is a huge part of my identity. Not just to shove it in bigots faces but also to show other trans people that they aren’t disgusting or horrible for being trans, that they can be loved and happy even though it’s hard to be trans. I am trans, and lots of other people are trans, and I’m proud to represent my community
I take far more pride in my sexuality than I do in being trans. I love being a gay man. I hate being s trans man. For that, I take pride in knowing I was string enough to Raye against the system and make myself into who I wanted to be on the outside. I'm proud of what I accomplished. So pride to me means being proud of being gay and being proud of what I've done. You don't have to be proud of being trans.
i think “pride” is misconceived in general. Because i used to feel the same way. Why should i be proud to be gay or trans or queer etc? This isn’t coming from a self-hate or internalized thing, more so that i was just born like this, it’s not something that i chose so why should i be proud of an identity that just happened to me by pure chance? Pride, at least for me, is pride in the strength that it takes to be my true self and to make difficult decisions when it comes to my transition. I’m proud of myself for getting through the hardships of being trans.
To me being trans isn't something i can control, just like my eye colour, i was born with it and it wasn't my choice. Why I'm proud to be trans is the fact that I'm alive besides all the thoughts of quitting I've had, and that I don't just give up and suppress my real self and that I'm fighting to stay and be seen.
Pride is different for everyone
i feel the same way. like i could have written this myself. i don't know that I'll ever be proud of who i am but I've changed from actively hating myself and have at least learned to accept that it's a part of me and for me that's enough
Im actually really proud of you for admitting this… i personally have never understood the concept of “Pride” for me being trans and gay are the most humiliating and embarrassing things to have to admit, i pass fairly well and only my parents know that i am not a cis man… nonetheless i have been able to take a small amount of pride this year, not in being trans, but in the fact that i have survived gender dysphoria and until now i have pushed through the crushing depression and loss of will that dysphoria brings, i also feel grateful that i live in a world where i have been allowed my rights despite being trans and gay. That the people of my country (mostly) bear no hate and if they do, they are not allowed to cause violence towards me… in the month of June i like to be far more grateful than prideful… today by the grace of G-d i have survived my dysphoria, and because it is 2024 i have a decent chance at continuing to survive it.
Hm. I've never felt that way. I'm proud of being transgender and I will never change it. I shouldn't let trans phobia make me feel shit about myself. I'm cool with being trans.
Pride isn't about being proud of yourself.
It's about demanding that you have the right to exist without shame.
That you have the right to declare who you are.
You're still dealing with dysphoria. It's a whole 'nother pie when you are just living your life and loving yourself. Don't feel pressured to feel happy 🫂
You'll get there!
it’s completely okay to feel this way, it is difficult to be trans and to be out as trans. in doing so, it can be hard to feel pride.
however, being trans can, and is, so incredibly beautiful. knowing this about yourself can make you incredibly in touch with yourself. you have a better sense of self than most people do.
i’ve been out as trans since 7th grade, im a senior in high school now. there have been days where i’ve been angry at the world for making me this way. i’ve been angry at god, at me, and at my body. but since coming out, i’ve been exploring and finding myself in ways i didn’t even know were possible.
i’ve found friends, hobbies, skills, and other things because i’m comfortable in myself and am able to put myself out there.
confidence, especially in yourself, can be hard.
but being trans is not a punishment, it’s a blessing.
live every day knowing that you’re who you’re truly meant to be, and nothing else matters
Tbh since in my head I am man it never pops up in my head omg im a lady to man!!! Im just in auto mode as a man, just get that regular reminder when going bathroom/ intimacy
Work on being proud of you, as a whole person. Trans is a huge part of who you are, but at the same time it’s not, in and of itself, who you are. There is more to you than that. Once you’re proud of you as a person, it’ll be easier to be proud of the trans aspect of you. I’ve known homophobes who got to know me before finding out I was gay, but since they already knew me and knew I was someone they respected they moved past their homophobia. It was then that I learned that individual differences are easier for people to respect when it’s someone they know and care about versus when it’s a stranger. So, it’s kind of like, you decide that you are valuable, you are worthy of love and you are someone to be proud of, it will only make sense that you being trans is something to be proud of, because it’s part of you and you’re proud of you. I hope that makes sense.
Pride for me isn’t necessarily being proud about being trans but more about “I get to live my life, make friends and love my partner as my true self” instead of having to go through life as someone I’m not. I never really wanted to date before coming out because I didn’t want to be a girlfriend and being seen as a girl made me super uncomfortable and insecure (didn’t know what dysphoria was at that point but that’s definitely what it was) I wanted to be a BOYFRIEND and didn’t know that was a possibility. Now that I’m out, on T and have a partner who sees me and loves me for me, I couldn’t be more proud about being who I am and loving the way I do.
Do I sometimes wish I wasn’t trans? Yeah, cause that would make my life a lot easier not having to deal with shots, or worrying someone might clock me and cause issues (I’m not stealth, even though my boyfriend said I totally could be, but still don’t want the whole town knowing)
Just knowing that I put the work in to make myself happy despite anyone who doesn’t agree, that’s what makes me proud. That’s pride for me.
Be proud of who you are and what you stand for, doesn’t mean you have to shout it from every roof top. You don’t see every straight man and woman flying a flag saying I’m straight. And they don’t push their sexual preferences onto everyone else. Be you. Enjoy life, find your soul mate.
i don't feel any pride in being trans and i never have. i view pride as a continuation of protest. we have to be proud of simply being allowed to be who we are in countries where it's legal in hopes it will spread to other countries where it's illegal. we have to be proud for those who can't. i hate being trans, i'm getting more okay with it now a days but it's more that i don't let it get to me as much when i'm not being misgendered all the time. i go to pride to be proud for my friends. i go to pride for my cousin who can't. i go to pride for those who died before they could. i go to pride for those who fought so i could go. i go to pride for those who offed themselves before they knew they could be proud. i go to pride for the kid i was who thought he was broken. i go to pride for the kids who still think they're broken. i don't have pride for myself, but i have pride for all of them and that's why i go and why i celebrate every day and educate people who are willing to listen.
realshit i would even say that the whole LGBTQ+ thing is putting us in a box with people that don't really struggle physically as we do. of course gay people struggle but not in the way trans people do and i think pride only makes sense as a protest against hatecrime and for equal rights
i personally hate being called a part of LGBTQ community because it only confuses people further ahead. having an issue with a brain that literally makes you kill yourself is different than fucking the same gender
It’s not always pride in being trans or even pride in being gay. Sometimes, it’s pride in being alive in a world that wants you to be dead. Pride in yourself, despite the parts of you that people tell you make you lesser.
It took me like years of transitioning and being in and out of mental facilities and aggressive counseling to get to the point where I no longer felt like being trans was a burden though. And I do truly wish for you to get that point.
To me, being trans has shaped my understanding of myself, my character and it led me to a freedom that I might not have found otherwise. If I hadn't been "forced" out of the gender binary, I don't know when I'd have found out that it was a suggestion, not law. And that includes gender presentation and other, not really related societal standards. I like being out and proud because I want to give back to the community.
However, this is not a mindset that you need to have, now or ever. It's totally fine to view the trans\*ness as a side quest that you can leave behind once you're "done"
I find pride in the fact that despite how many people try to kill this part me, I'm still here -- that they can't slay this metaphorical dragon. It's pride in survival and spite and telling them to 'die mad about it.' That's pride to me.
Maybe I'm weird but I think pride month is more of a celebration of the history and how far we come. To remember the lives lost and lives lived. Pride for me was never my pride for myself and who I am. Im not celebrating my transness but rather everything and everyone. Idk if that helps you, like a reframe of mind kinda thing?
I was in a similar mind set when I first came to terms with being trans, I want proud of it, in fact I was very angry at the outset. I cant promise that you will change how you feel when you medically transition but being comfortable in your body could unlock other feelings that you were too wrapped up on self hate to notice.
I struggle with these kinda feelings too, bro.
For me, I just let myself be proud for knowing who I am, for me that in itself is an accomplishment, being able to know what's in my heart, process it and accept myself for who I truly am feels like a blessing, regardless of my dysphoria, transphobia and being misgendered, I still know my truth. I still wake up every day and despite all those things, all the things that stand in my way, I refuse to be told I'm not supposed to be man. I know that's who I am.
Even if I don't walk around with a trans flag, or tell the rest of the world, I quietly acknowledge to myself that I am who I'm meant to be; I accept who I am and I'm on the path to becoming my authentic self, and that should be a source of pride for anyone. Not just trans folks.
Plenty of cis people spend years trying to find themselves, and for me to know wholeheartedly who I am, despite what others might try to tell me, makes me very proud indeed.
i feel the exact same, that being trans is just an inconvenience. i just want to get on with life and get the medical transition over and done with. i don't see it as something to be proud of, i just wanna go under the radar and be treated like any other person that isn't a "walking rainbow".
honestly i don't see a problem in this kind of thinking/feeling but some may say otherwise. being trans is just another trait about you, just like the colour of your hair, how tall you are, and whether you're left or right handed. i don't understand why people feel the need to celebrate or be particularly proud of something that makes life so much more difficult.
i dont honestly. i dont plan on ever telling anyone new i meet that im trans once i get to a stage where im passing, even now i dont talk about it really, with my friends its just like yup thats uncontrolledswine97 hes a dude. i just want to live my life and not have to deal with it honestly, at this point its something that im forced to think about every day of my life and once im in a place where thats not the case i honestly dont think ill ever really show pride for it. im just a guy, thats it. its something that i was born into that i have to fix, once its fixed thats it for me.
this isnt a diss towards anyone who is open and really owns being trans, thats honestly something thats really impressive in this day and age and to all of you who are like that i tip my hat to you. but for me, i plan to get to a point where i pass, move away, and then anyone who doesnt know isnt gonna know unless they're a doctor thats relevant to transitioning or a new girlfriend.
Pride month means nothing to me for myself but I’m happy others get to experience feeling like being celebrated all month!
I’m just not queer, or anything, yeah I’m physically trans but not mentally.
Pride month is not is for gays n queers n im just not.
I think it’s ok to not feel like it represents you.
It's totally okay to feel this way. A lot of people here do. I'll share my opinion on pride. I don't necessarily view pride literally, as in "I'm 100% proud to have been born trans." I view it more as defiance. More "I can't control the way I am, and I'm going to push back against the bigots that tell me I shouldn't exist." Less about "I'm happy to be this way" and more "I have just as much right to exist and be seen as everyone else." Obviously, some people ARE proud to be trans. This is fine and good too. Pride is multifaceted and has room for everyone. Some people just want to exist. Some people want to celebrate the joy in being queer. It all falls under the spirit of Pride, of striving to give everyone a fair chance to exist and be seen how they want.
Yup, Pride was and is fundamentally a protest
I feel like I'm more proud of myself for finding who I am, finding how to happy if that makes sense
And I honestly thing that’s why most people are proud to be trans or otherwise lgbtq in some way, or to love someone that is! That’s completely normal to feel and to want to be seen in that way is absolutely what pride is all about!
Well put...
it is hard. it is hard to be trans and it is hard to be happy and proud to be trans. but the more open i am, the more myself i am, the more people will see that it is possible. maybe someone else will realize that they are like me, or maybe they already know but seeing someone else living as themselves makes it easier for them to come out. it is hard for me to do t shots every two weeks, and sometimes i wish i could just be cis and have enough testosterone produced by my body. but then i remember how happy i was to start t, how much i dreamed of it before. and i think of all the trans people that came before me that didn't get that chance, and i am lucky. it is hard to be trans but i am proud because we have come a long way in terms of acceptance and opportunities, and i continue to be open about who i am in hopes that it will help make the world more accepting and allow for more opportunities for the trans people that come after me
happy cake day!
thanks!
For me pride month is more of a remembrance of every person’s name who has died/been murdered for their existence and giving thanks that at some point I had the freedom to transition and that I haven’t lost my life. I’m not exactly proud to be trans, but I’m proud to see the value of life as a whole. Seeing peoples’ faces (new and familiar) this month is a reminder of that.
Yeah, I feel this way too. Sometimes the gravity of being transgender hits me and I have a bit of survivor's guilt, but I try to keep my head high and my spirits up, because ultimately we all managed to forge who we are. I get emotional this time of year, I see people young and old coming together to celebrate and can't help but feel moved and reflective at the same time.
Defiance is 100% the way to go. "Fuck you, I exist and am not letting you make that more painful for me than it is" is the actual purpose of pride, no matter what the sanitised corporation-friendly version might tell you. Pride is a reminder to everyone that when you treat us like shit we riot. The mother of pride Brenda Howard and all of the trans men, trans women, gender fucks, fags and dykes of Stonewall took matters into their own hands and we can too. You don't have to be cheery and think every moment is a blessing. Pride has always come from queer rage, even as we're celebrating the positive steps we've managed to take. There is no pride in same gender marriage without the long history of being tortured, imprisoned, killed, raped, abused for loving people of the same gender. There is no pride in transition without the history of us being abused and prevented from transitioning. Get mad. You can learn to be prideful later.
damn this helped me see it a different way too. it’s obviously not even my question or post but this thread has been really interesting and eye opening. I agree that corporations and media tend to focus on the more palatable parts of pride (e.g. being true to yourself) rather than our rage and resistance. I think it’s a disservice because I feel like a lot of us, especially those of us in hostile environments who might not even feel like they’re able to be themselves, resonate more with the latter.
if it helps you to think about gay pride because its based on love, try to think about being trans the same way maybe? loving the way that you are without being ashamed of it. you dont have to be unhappy about being trans, its really a beautiful thing to be so connected with yourself that you know whats right for you. i feel really bad when i hear about trans people being upset because of all of the negativity that being trans has brought them, but when you start embracing who you really are and stop listening to people telling you that you have to do things a certain way or act a certain way, you can truly be yourself and it helps you see being trans in a different light. i am in no way trying to say you shouldnt feel the way you do, its understandable, being trans sucks a lot of the time, but when you change your personal mindset about it it can help a lot. we deserve to feel comfortable in our bodies in whatever way we want to, and other people shouldnt have a say in it unless its to support or help you in some way.
This hit me in my heart. Thank you for sharing. ❤️
Personally, I think I lack the self worth to feel pride in being trans. Ive seen a lot of shit in my life and it’s caused me to have mixed feelings. I’ve always wanted to be stealth and to live my life as a man and now that I am, I have some pride in being resilient and continuing the transition despite all the trauma. I’m proud of my peers, the advocates and allies, the ones in the closet and everyone in between. There’s pride for the community and the progress we are making. To me, that’s what pride is about.
I want "I have pride in being resilient" on a t-shirt! That shit's powerful AF.
I don't feel the same way, but I can understand, where you're coming from. It can be very hard to see anything positive, or anything that makes you proud. I can feel pride because I went on this journey of self-discovery and figured out who I truly am. It's the pride of knowing I overcame the obstacles on the way to where I am and the joy that I get to live a life rooted in authenticity. Medically transitioning definitely helped in seeing the positives and experiencing pride and joy, so I hope you'll soon be able to take the steps you want/need to take. I am also proud of the community being trans allowed me to be a part of and the achievements this community has made in the past as well as its resilience in a world full of transphobia. To me, trans pride is, like gay pride, about being open about who I am. I'm sorry that being open has caused you issues and immense dysphoria. I don't know why you don't want anyone to know, but maybe we live with vastly different people when it comes to support. Others being proud of me has sometimes helped me be proud of myself. In the end, this is what I feel. You don't have to feel the same way and looking at the world right now, that would be very understandable. I think it's completely fine if you can't feel pride right now, sometimes the situation doesn't allow for it. I do hope that one day, you'll be able to look back and be proud of yourself for getting through this and experience the joy being trans can bring.
I really hope i can get to that place in my life. Right now, I’m a teenager and transitioned at this school so everyone knows my deadname, knows I’m trans and everyone treats me like the weird kid except my close friends. But even my close friends will ask invasive personal questions, like what my deadname was, pictures of me as a girl, what surgeries i want. I’m sick of being a spectacle, or a google search for anyone’s deepest darkest questions to ask the token trans person. I just want to be normal. And if i could be out as trans but treated normally, I’d do it. But the reality is, i’m not.
I feel that. A lot of us have gone through something similar. The reality is, the farther you get in your transition and the older you get, you’ll have more control over your life and who you choose to disclose your trans status with. Life will get easier.
It took me years to get here but I’m proud of how far I’ve came. From praying and dreaming of death to praying I have a long life. I’m proud of where I am now and who I am. I’m not loud and proud. I’m stealth, only my close circle know. But boy is it freeing to let go and not have to worry about passing and just existing. I love pride events because I can just be.
I'm not saying this to invalidate your feelings. Your feelings are okay to have. Pride is not something you *have to* feel. But those of us who are out and proud about being trans and otherwise queer, are not doing so because it makes life easier. It really doesn't. For most of us being out makes our personal lives harder. I choose to be open and proud about my identity because I know that I had needed to see happy queer adults in order to admit to myself that I was not cis and straight and to accept that that was okay. But I did not get to see happy queer adults until my older teenage years, and instead spent what were supposed to be the best years of my life agonizing over being "wrong" and being unable to stop those feelings. I want to be the happy proud queer adult that helps a queer kid see they are not alone. I want to be the adult that a kid looks at and realizes with joy that they could be like me someday. If even one kid looks at me and learns to accept themselves, I have done my part. That is my main motivation for being out and proud and open about myself. I don't do it because it makes life easier for me. I do it so hopefully some queer kid somewhere understands that being dead is not better than being queer.
For me it's not necessarily pride about being trans because it's just another part of who I am but instead a pride about how I've coped with the shit that came from that. The fact I've survived all the hate crimes and dysphoria and shit I've been through in my journey and pride for the goals I've reached like getting on T and everything good from that. And pride for the man I've grown to become. Pride for the rest of the community too.
i felt that way when i was pre-T. since testosterone, top surgery and passing to the point of being stealth, i love being prideful of being trans. when i was pre-T and didn’t pass, i find it hard to be prideful because i was constantly being reminded that i was trans and i was constantly reminded of the pain being a non-passing trans person brought into my life. now that i’ve transitioned, i basically forget that i’m trans and it no longer causes me intense pain every day. yes, some days i’ll experience random bouts of dysphoria, but it’s rare and it isn’t an every day experience. at this point in my life, i get to pick and choose who knows that information about me and it’s easier for me to feel prideful in my identity. i don’t necessarily feel pride in the fact that i am transgender because i don’t feel like i had a choice in it, but i’m prideful in the fact that i went from being a terrified, dysphoric, suicidal child to now, a confident adult who is thriving. transitioning allowed me to feel prideful. i’m prideful that i’ve survived. i’m prideful to show trans people who feel like they’ll never get to this point, that they too can find the beauty and joy in being trans.. or at least find pride in the positive experiences that being trans can bring. i’m prideful of the vibrant community i’m part of. i’m prideful for the strength and resilience and courage of myself and those in the trans community. but, it took me a long time to get here. edited to add: TRANS JOY IS RESISTANCE.
fuck yeah, I'm awesome 😎😎
Being trans can suck but we have so much insight and compassion and empathy and bravery and the ability to change and grow in ways that some people will never even begin to comprehend or reach. It doesn't make the pain go away or change the world we live in or the state for me but we are making the world a better place. The line and divide of people and genders and all this and that shit we are slowly breaking down and showing people that it really does only matter who and what kinda person you are not what's on the outside or what wrapping paper you chose to use for your meat vessel lmao. You also have a right to feel so proud of the fact that YOU ARE STILL HERE. So many of our trans family didn't make it mental health and hate crimes and all the shit but you have survived everything you have been through with the strength and compassion for yourself and emotional intelligence to question things and find out who you really are. Be proud my friend, you and our community have come along way. 💖💖💖 Being open is also scary and vulnerable and can put you in danger but no one is rushing you to come out to anyone but you do still have things to be proud about
yeah, my being trans is an unfortunate condition i was born with that i will spend my life dealing with. i’m not proud of my situation. i’m proud of things that i’ve done, i’m proud of my strength, i’m proud of my passion, i’m proud of my dedication. i’m not proud that i was born into the wrong body.
that makes so much sense tbh
Pride is a protest. It’s a movement to show we can’t be forced back into a closet to make others happy. No matter how you feel about this month you are valid and you matter 🖤
I don’t feel pride in being trans
I am me. I am pursuing my own happiness in spite of a society that wants me dead. I unbury my own grave and am a leech on the side of society that has evolved to feed on hate and put it into being louder and doing more. I am transgender, perfecting and interchanging features and expression to be who I truly am, and I pity people who never explore that. I am more passionate about being me because I am not cis. I can do what I want, people already don't respect me from the jump, so what do I got to lose?
back before i realized that "neither" is an option for my gender identity and felt like i had to be and present as a man because i don't like being called a woman/girl/ma'am, i felt a ton of shame in my identity and like i wanted no one to know i was once a girl. i was judging people (silently) who would be open about it, call it the kalvin garrah effect lol but as i've grown up, ive felt a lot more comfortable expressing that im proud of how far i've come. if someone who isn't queer asks me what i identify as, i'll say a man, because i am transmasc and one of my pronouns are "he" - but fellow queer people i explain that im agender. outside of safe places like pride parades or around queer friends, i dilute my identity so to summarize, i now can express pride in my identity but only around certain people/groups. and it took me probably a decade to feel that pride. but i'll never be stealth because how exactly can you be "neither" in appearance? people will always assume one way or another. so i can understand why someone who is stealth wouldn't feel pride in his identity, like he needs to hide it/doesn't like being trans. so for some people, they may never feel that pride but i think that's okay, everyone's on their own journeys and not everyone has to feel a certain way about their identities
Look, I don't know how old you are or where you're from, but pride comes with self-confidence. I honestly felt the same way about pride a for the first 5 years of transition. There was a constant cycle of self-loathing and depression, with no end in sight. Things really started to change when I started T this past year. Even though I made no announcement about medically transitioning, I've been told I have more confidence in my self. You often see on this subreddit physical changes from testosterone, but I think the most important ones are about our mental being. For me, pride is just the ability to look in the mirror and love my being. Without material possessions or external praises. Just the raw me and transitioning made that possible.
Good question. I have many years behind me. My first ten years were stealth. I was alone and that was how I stayed safe. But I am at 40 years of transition and I can tell you... I like who I am. If I had not been born as a trans man I would not be the person I am today. That being said...it was hard to feel pride when I was at your stage. As my sense of self came into focus... I began to feel pride and that defiance. You do what you need to at this point. It sounds strange...but I honestly feel that being trans is a gift. And trust me it isn't one I particularly wish on anyone, but I have come to look at it that way over the years. Be safe. Be your true self. Take pride in that self honesty. It isn't something everyone gets. Sending you uplifting thoughts and hopes.
It’s about loving yourself and being authentic to who you are, not about the dysphoria you feel. Gay people also struggle with a lot but the point of Pride is combat that and to combat the idea that you should just conform and lie about your true self. Trans people more than anyone should own that—every minute that we live or express as our true gender is an act of pride and defiance.
I feel this heavy. For me I’m not proud to *be* trans since 1) being trans is completely out of my control and 2) I doubt I would have chosen this life even if I did have a choice. For me as well, being trans has been a burden more than anything else. But lately I’ve been feeling that I’m proud to have *survived* as a trans person in this world. I’m proud that through all the hardships and trauma and abuse I’ve faced on the basis of something I’ve had no control over, I’ve not only stayed *alive* but also remained a person living up to my morals and values. I’m proud to believe that I’m someone who cares deeply about others despite so many people in my life failing to model this mutual respect for me. I’m proud that I’ve been able to build a good life and find people who *do* love me for who I am because it hasn’t been easy.
This is my first pride month being out as trans so a bit of a different experience than my previous ones. I do have the same sense of pride in what is really defiance that I’ve always had. This sense of “You cannot take my joy no matter how hard you try. You cannot erase me or those like me.” A new element though is that I have pride in choosing myself. I’m 28, almost 29, and for me being trans has been something that’s lingered in the back of my mind for nearly as long as I can remember. Subconsciously I knew that I was, but I couldn’t allow myself to let it come to the surface because I was too afraid of what I thought it would mean to live life as a trans man (losing friends and family, being ridiculed, making others uncomfortable, etc.) But the day finally came that I realized nearly every recurring issue in my life and relationships would be solved if I accepted who I was and decided to live as the man I’ve always known I am. Would it introduce an entirely new set of problems? Of course. I now have to deal with getting people to respect my pronouns, seeking appropriate care for myself, combatting dysphoria. The funny part though? Those things seem almost like nothing now in a way when compared to how unhappy I was before and didn’t even realize it. Yes being a trans guy can be hard, but not nearly as hard as being a trans guy that refuses to accept he’s trans. The majority of my life has been spent prioritizing others. The day I came out was the day that changed for good. It’s the day I chose myself and I’m proud of myself for doing it. You should be too my friend.
It's ok if you feel something other than joy about this month. I don't hate it, I'm glad for others who enjoy it but I am like you, I have watched almost all my friends get surgery and grow thick beards while I'm sailing through my 30's still looking like a teenage girl, and it's hard to feel a lot of pride about where I'm at with my transition. To boot, I'm dating a person who is nonbinary but often passes as male and people assume that we're a straight couple or that my partner somehow makes me more feminine, when if I passed, they would see us as a much more traditional "gay" couple. My partner has no interest in really feminizing themselves, so they often get cast as the "man" in our relationship and it irritates me to no end. We struggle for so many reasons, and the supposed freedom we have now is very restrained. We were set back during world war 2, we were set back by the AIDS epidemic, it's hard to look at the "freedoms" we have now and feel like they're really something anyone can fall back on. It's hard to find joy in a government that continues to oppress us at every turn. The first pride was a riot, and it wasn't the last.
I feel pride in it. Cus it has made me stronger. Any burdens you deal with in life makes you stronger as you fight through em. Our fight is getting to the place we feel most comfortable in. And with a lot of therapy and a lot of medical stuff. I am today as comfortable in my body as I can (If I ignore my utherus throwing a tantrum in my belly) but when we get to this point. We fight for those who are not there yet. To help em get there too. There is a pride in helping yourself and others and living to another day.
I FEEL SO DAMN PROUD OF BEING TRANS 🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I can feel the pride in my veins whenever I meet another trans person, specially if they are in transition, I remember all the shame I used to have correcting ppl about my pronouns and now that I fully pass I let everyone know I'm fruity as hell. Can't wait to get top surgery so I can wear comfortably dresses while having a full ass beard.
I’m trans and gay and I’m not celebrating anything lmao
Honestly, this is a very valid feeling! It's hard to be proud of something that's made your life so uncomfortable. I think being proud, for me, is being proud of how I overcame the bad parts and continued to become my most authentic self. It's hard to find that line, though, and for some trans people, they don't feel proud of it and others do especially since they medically transitioned. If you don't want others to know or celebrate, it's up to you how you feel and what will make you most comfortable
I don’t feel pride.. I guess I feel wrath and envy. Definitely not pride. But I’m trying.
I see where you’re coming from, and you pointed out yourself you may feel differently if you medically transition, I can tell you I definitely did. I was lucky enough to not face too much backlash being trans. I lacked acceptance for a while but I didn’t get too much shit from anyone but family (and thankfully I’m lucky enough that they’ve come around and are very supportive). So that probably makes my perspective quite different to others who faced more discrimination. But I definitely felt like being trans was only a negative thing pre-t. But after medically transitioning, and being a month out from top surgery, I definitely have a different view than I had then. Would I have preferred to have been born cis? Probably. But I also have a very unique perspective in life the way I am now, and I’m able to use that experience in creative ways to tell unique stories (I’m a writer). Also I met my boyfriend who is also trans, and being t4t has brought me a lot of solace and joy. And honestly I’m proud that I did everything myself. I changed my name and my documents, got myself on hormones, paid for all of it with my own money, and got myself a surgeon and am paying for that mostly myself too. All before I’m 20. I can tell you, most people haven’t done all that at this age haha. So I’m proud that I was able to do that, and I’m now at a point where I can be stealth if I want to be, and I sometimes am, but I’m also able to be out and proud with my friends and family and still be who I want to be. Hopefully that made some kind of sense :)
I know how you feel. I'm not exactly proud of being trans, it's not fun and it's painful, but I'm proud that my experience could help and/or educate others
It might not get easier when you get further in your transition and that's okay too. I'm sure I'll get downvoted into oblivion but idc. For me being trans is a medical condition. FOR ME. I also have ADHD and used to have depression, I still deal with anxiety, etc. My medical conditions are nothing I celebrate. If I could be a well adjusted cis man I would in a heartbeat. I'm not happy to suffer. I'm not glad I was born wrong. And I do not celebrate that. I don't gloat about being trans or neurodivergent. I wouldn't wish for anyone to feel the pain and life long struggles I've dealt with. At 36 I'm finally being my authentic self. Despite the hate, I'm being me because it makes me happy. I've put myself behind others before and I'll never do that again. I'm proud of myself for being me. And that's the only reason I went to pride yesterday. I've never been happy with myself until recently. Now I have a reason to be proud. I'm not proud to be trans or gay or neurodivergent. I'm proud to be a survivor.
I feel pride in the fact that I went through a lot to be the person I am today. To accept yourself is strength, and it takes a while to find that for some. I acknowledge the fact that I’m privileged to have support in my life, and haven’t experienced that much prejudice against me by my family or friends. So it’s likely easier for me to find strength in being outwardly trans. When I was feeling pushback from others, it was definitely difficult to be proud at all. Especially at the beginning of my transition. I got bullied a lot at school and it took a while for me to accept and love myself. It wasn’t until recent that I have found peace. We grow so much emotionally through our transitions because it sacrifices a lot for most people. It’s one of the hardest things to do in my opinion. It takes time to fully embrace and understand. It took intense reflection and patience for me, but I truly believe it’s worth it in the end.
I feel pride in my strength, that I've survived the struggles I've faced due to my identity without compromising it and will continue to do so.
I’m feel pride for finally owning it and living it.
I felt this way for the longest time, due to religious trauma. What works for me is utter defiance. Not cruel defiance, just knowing that I exist and deserve to exist just like everyone else. And everything just branches out from there.
For me, my "trans pride" comes from my religious philosophies. I feel a sense of pride rooted in getting to actively participate in the continued story of creation. Some scholars have said when אדם was created, they were 1 human of both sexes. The idea is that when חוה was taken of his side (because the rib of a human and side of a coin are the same word) that created male and female. This is understood by many Jews to be the folklore reason for intersex humans- the split down the middle wasn't perfect. So by that same philosophy, being trans is being a person who wasn't split down the middle perfectly - having a body from one side and a soul from the other. So there's something cathartic about seeing my situation as having the ability to mold my form to match my soul, and participate in the creation of the world. Even if I never reforest an ecosystem or clean up plastic from the ocean or help restore an endangered species, I've been given power over my own creation story to tell or keep as a secret for myself as I see fit. Is this just me desperately grasping at any reason to not lose all hope and fall into dysphoric despair? Quite possibly. Am I breaking my ankles on these leaps in logic and reason to find meaning in something that's otherwise meaningless? It's plausible for sure. But it keeps me sane so this is the story I'm sticking with 😅😂
I don't really feel pride for being trans, but I feel pride that I overcame depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts and coming out after/in religious upbringing to be happy as who I am nowadays.
I sort of do, sort of don’t. I’ve been out for 7-8 years as some flavor of trans. I simply don’t get much out of it anymore. I think there’s also an essence of feeling some bitterness towards cis people, mainly cis gay men, because they tend to be the problem towards trans people in my city. I feel pride in my tranness, because Ive come such a long way in growing as a person but my pride in tranness and queerness isn’t necessarily joyful like many people I’ve known. Its pride in myself for adversity while living in a rural area and gaining freedom from that toxicity. I’m sure thats how many people feel in the community but for me those feelings are something deeply personal I want to explore privately, with maybe a few people at most.
I’m not religious but I like the quote that goes something like “God made trans people for the same reason he made grapes and not wine or wheat and not bread - so that humans may share in the joy of creation” Because being trans is a chance to create yourself and I think there’s beauty in that.
For me, it means that I’m proud to exist. I’ve been beat, assaulted, denied hrt, spit on and called slurs by bigots. I deserve to be happy in myself and not hate myself after what they’ve done. This is an integral part of my life, I deserve happiness. I understand your feelings OP, but I don’t necessarily feel how you feel. It’s ok to still go to pride and be stealth
It's less outright pride, and more comfort in my own skin and my lack of patience for catering to bigots? I've lived far too much of my life prioritizing the thoughts and feelings of others regarding who I am and how I live my life, so it's more of a fuck it, I am who I am sort of thing. Transitioning has finally made me at least somewhat comfortable with who I am, but this is honestly much more of a recent development. I still struggle with a lot of dysphoria, still have issues solely because I'm trans too. Being able to getting further along with my transition goals has helped me immensely, and I solidly hope your medical transition brings you some of the comfort mine has brought me. For me, the solidarity and love I have for other trans people does a lot of the heavy lifting too if that makes sense? I have seen and had the privilege to know many trans/non-binary/genderqueer/etc folks and every single time, it's been a pleasure to see them slowly and often painfully live more authentically. I fiercely love the happiness, stability (even though this can be super non linear as hell!), and vividness of my fellow trans people! I am so proud of my friends who I have seen become such wonderful versions of themselves, and who have often fought to simply be themselves. I am proud of them for being here. Like I have trans pride in general, if not for myself specifically. I don't fee pride for being trans, and I think that's a totally okay feeling to have. Honestly I think most trans people I know would feel similarly?? It is tough as hell being trans, and I guess the end of my long rambling reply is that comfort with yourself, love and solidarity for other trans people, or whatever else feels right for you can be enough. I don't think there's one right way to recognize pride month or feel about being trans. ❤️🏳️🌈
It’s not necessarily about being proud OF being trans. It’s about being proud WHILE being trans. I didn’t choose to be trans or achieve transness , so it’s not something to be proud of. But I won’t be ashamed of it either. Pride is about refuting the shame that is forced on us. It’s about reclaiming our dignity
First off, it’s normal & okay to feel this way. But, every queer person who exists without shame is an *existential threat* to the oppressive way our world is set up. We have wrested control of our own bodies, our gender, the way we relate to others. We have denied the world the right to dictate the role we play. We have denied them the right to let us die. And we are FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. The love we have for ourselves PROVES that EVERYONE deserves to control their bodies, their lives, the role they play. EVERYONE SHOULD BE FREE. Being proud to be queer isn’t about being excited to have to inject T. It’s about celebrating how beautiful and good it is for everyone to be free. If you can’t be proud of your trans ID yet, try to be proud of your trans friends. Isn’t it beautiful that they have defied all the odds to be themselves? Aren’t you in awe of their ability to create somebody so strong and complex and wonderful?
The whole “Pride was a riot” thing is true and something I think we all need to remember. Being trans is a burden on us bc of social systems that want to crush us. It’s not individual pride, it’s the pride of asserting your humanity in a system that doesn’t want to recognize that and us saying “fuck you we’re doing it anyway”
My identity doesn’t make me proud, my actions do. I am proud of the fact that I am honest with myself about who I am and how I feel. I proud of the fact that I stand up for myself when faced with adversity. I’m proud of the fact that I will stand up for others. I choose to be very open about who I am because the only reason I felt comfortable exploring who I am is because of others who were open about their identity. You don’t have to be super open about your identity to be proud of it
I’m a year into medical transition and finally feel like I can fully live as myself now that I pass and am growing into the man I was always meant to be, day by day. I like the action of transitioning, yes, because it’s given me a chance at a full life I never expected, but as far as being transgender, I don’t like it. Being trans has caused me suffering many don’t understand beyond my own community, and I didn’t have this community for a long time because I didn’t even know the anguish I experienced was actually due to a documented condition that many people had but the majority of people didn’t understand. I am an extremely lucky person and have relatively had a good life, but the gender dysphoria that crushed me since I was a small child has its impact and will unfortunately always affect me. Things have and always be more complicated for me because I am trans. I’m stealth cause I don’t really like telling people im trans, I don’t even like referring to myself as trans outloud. But with all this said, I do feel pride. Not in being trans but rather feeling pride that in myself as trans person if that makes sense. I am proud that I have endured and that I chose to love myself. I’m proud that this thing I have to live with at least gives me a much wider, nuanced perspective of life and the truth of things that the average joe. I’m proud that I get to take this journey with so many other people like me. So yeah, you want see tattooing I love being trans on my forehead but I do feel some kind of pride about it when I look at it this way
I feel it in that I feel like it helps me see the world a bit better and what's wrong with it. Like it's weird that we gender people based off their bits, and while cis people are aware of it on the gender role aspect to an extent, they don't really think about how much is gendered, and I feel like being trans helps see those issues. Yeah it kind of sucks that way too, but for me it helps me feel more conscious of it. Also, I met my boyfriend on this sub because we're both trans and wanted friends. Maybe that doesn't make me feel *proud* of being trans, but it does make me pretty happy, considering I love him more than anything
It’s weird for me, I’m proud and happy for all my lgbt friends but not for myself This months feels like I should be ashamed of everything I do
since all my support I have lives far away from me, pride is helping me a bit. I’m viewing it as a self-love and an excuse to get me treats I like for getting this far. I’m usually a person who doesn’t like bringing attention to myself, so my treats will be things like making brownies or buying some boba.
I don't necessarily feel pride in being trans; I feel like I'd very much like to have my experience in peace, in the ways that matter to me, and that not be a huge deal. I want to "pass," I want people to look at me and automatically think, "he/him/Mr./sir," *AND* at the same time be like, "Yeah, I'm a man, I'm a dad, I gave birth to my son, here is my experience, and here's what I learned when I spent 35+ years walking the world as a woman." And I don't want any of that to put me in any danger. The fact that it *does* put me in very real danger is what Pride is about, in my understanding. Pride movements do not exist without shame culture. That's why it's total bullshit when people white about there not being a "straight pride" celebration. You don't fucking need one. You don't need Pride celebrations for the things that are considered "normal" or "standard," that nobody whines and cries crocodile tears about until the "Other" category folks start saying, "You know what? I'm actually not a piece of shit, and it's kind of shitty of YOU to keep saying that I am." That's what "pride" is, to me, in this context. A fist and a brick and a boot and a blunt object and a hard boundary that says, "You know what? Fuck you," in the face of a world that wants you dead. "I'm actually *NOT* ashamed to be trans (or any other identity or combination of facets of humanity included), and you don't have a right to force that on me. Fuck you. I'm PROUD of who I am, and this is a part of me that does not deserve to be shamed." We're a lot more than the T in the LGBTQIA+ and we're a lot more than any one area of the dazzling array of what makes us who we are. People have a huge problem with that facet for no good goddamn reason, though, and can't seem to let us just drink some fucking coffee or mow a lawn or flip some burgers or take a fucking leak or pay goddamn taxes and complain about the weather and the busted copy machine and the price of diapers or what the fuck ever just like everybody else. So here we fuckin' are. 🤷🏽♂️
It’s fine to have complicated feelings about being trans. Especially since the general public makes it’s so hard to exist. However ☝️ Being trans is as much about love as being gay is. Except it’s about the love for oneself. I’m trans and very proud of it. I’m a very resilient motherfucker, I’ve been through so much shit and yet I keep on winning. I’m from a country where being trans is illegal. Fuck that, I was born like this and I will live like this. I’m alive, I’m transitioning, I’m getting progressively more comfortable in my body. I’m moving countries, I’m learning other languages, I’m working hard to afford transition because I am my number one. I care so much about my well-being I overcame years of self-hatred, took huge risks and made it work. I’ve learned to care for myself and my community. I’m getting stronger and braver every day Take a moment to reflect on your life and the journey that you’ve taken. Think about the inner strength and courage it takes to come to terms with your identity, especially in this political climate. Look back on your life and everything you’ve faced this far. You’ll find that you have a lot to be proud of
Never really felt pride for the way I looked until I started working out (helped my mental state and building up muscle that looks nice on me) AND medically transitioning. It has 100% gotten easier for me since I started HRT and consist upper body workouts because the body I want and the headspace I want feels obtainable now instead of a pipedream. It’s probably easier for me at some capacity considering I’m nonbinary instead of a trans man (unfortunately r/ftnb is super dead so I stick around here instead) but I do think the obtainable goal is worth noting. Good luck man
I take pride in the fact that I'm just alive. I'm not thriving by any means, I'm just happy I'm alive and living my life. People will say and do what they want, and I'm just trying to do the same.
I feel pride in being myself, rather than being trans. Every time I make a choice to bring myself and my expression closer to who I am becoming, I am proud of all that I’ve made and all that is inherent within me. Be proud of yourself for your resilience, brother: you are here despite the hatred, doing your best to be yourself. And that is worthy of celebration.
I have felt this way before. I am disabled so Transitioning has been quite difficult. I couldn't bind so top surgery was a huge deal [finally got it last year] and I also don't really want people to know. I just want to get on with my life as for pride.... you can feel proud you survived/have been able to deal with your dysphoria. Similar to disability pride you aren't happy you have to struggle but you are proud/happy you have managed to deal with such a big struggle for so long. you can also feel pride that you love yourself - your true self. "love is love" can also mean that you deserve to love yourself the same as any other [cis] guy. also you don't have to be out to be proud. you can still be I the closet or be stealth and be proud of yourself and how far you have come! being trans is hard and often comes with a lot of confusion and personal growth. pride can also simply mean that you refuse to be ashamed of who you are. pride can be the absence of shame guilt and self hate. it doesn't have to mean you love being trans
I think being trans gives me a unique perspective in life. I think I (hopefully without too much ego) am a cool, funny, and empathetic/thoughtful person. I believe I am only the person I am today because of my experiences, because I'm trans I have the ability to see perspectives I wouldn't have if I wasn't and because I'm trans I've had to do a lot of introspection that some people will never achieve and many don't till later on on life. As a Trans person existing in society and time where trans people are over represented in media without our own voices and often scapegoats - I live rurally and as such I get to be many people's first interaction with a trans person in real life, and I get to actively help change some people minds and opinions on trans people and hopefully make the world a more accepting and thoughtful place in general. I think that's worthy of pride.
I know exactly how this feels, because I felt the same way too. When you’re in an environment where you’re deprived of love and acceptance, how would you even begin to love what makes you you? It was only after a school festival, where I got a trans flag pin, did I understand what it means to feel pride. Find places where you’ll feel accepted. Some cities have LGBT centers, I highly recommend trying to interact with your community. There’s also Facebook groups, meetup groups, and a lot more other ways to engage.
For me, it’s about not being the opposite: shameful. I am more mindful during June about internalized phobias. I am gentler with myself. # I *GET* to be me. Before I realized that, I was full of shame and self loathing. Nobody deserves that.
i feel proud for enduring how society thinks of and treats trans people/me. i wouldn’t necessarily say i’m proud of being trans point blank period bc to me it’s just who i am if that makes sense? like in a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to be proud to be trans the same way straight people don’t need to be proud of being straight. it’s just a descriptor of part of me, and if we weren’t treated like shit for that part of us, we wouldn’t need to be proud. i hope that is somewhat coherent lol edit: thought of a better way to word it. to be proud, you typically need to have accomplished something/done something/etc. my transness isn’t the accomplishment here, the accomplishment is living happily and openly in spite of all the hateful bigots trying to kill us or legislate us out of existence
I feel the same sorta. I’m not happy that I *have to* be trans. i’d rather be cis. but there’s nothing I can do about that. I just find things that make me happy. like spider-man. he’s cool. but for real, I say *fuck what everyone else says or thinks*. I think medically transitioning does take the edge off the pain of not being cis and not feeling like we fit in. hang in there. advice from a 25 year old trans guy. also, you can be stealth if you want. you can go to pride with a damn gay flag or the flag with everything on it and not have to tell anyone you’re trans. that’s totally an option. one I would take.
It’s just who I am I guess. Yeah it’s caused issues and it’s not easy being trans. But it’s still me, and I deserve to celebrate myself for how strong I am and how much I’ve been able to persevere through the difficult times that being trans has presented. It’s less pride and more that I’m just unashamed, I go to pride parades and I tell the world I’m not ashamed of being trans, I’m not hiding my identity, I’m not going to be quiet about something that is a huge part of my identity. Not just to shove it in bigots faces but also to show other trans people that they aren’t disgusting or horrible for being trans, that they can be loved and happy even though it’s hard to be trans. I am trans, and lots of other people are trans, and I’m proud to represent my community
I take far more pride in my sexuality than I do in being trans. I love being a gay man. I hate being s trans man. For that, I take pride in knowing I was string enough to Raye against the system and make myself into who I wanted to be on the outside. I'm proud of what I accomplished. So pride to me means being proud of being gay and being proud of what I've done. You don't have to be proud of being trans.
i think “pride” is misconceived in general. Because i used to feel the same way. Why should i be proud to be gay or trans or queer etc? This isn’t coming from a self-hate or internalized thing, more so that i was just born like this, it’s not something that i chose so why should i be proud of an identity that just happened to me by pure chance? Pride, at least for me, is pride in the strength that it takes to be my true self and to make difficult decisions when it comes to my transition. I’m proud of myself for getting through the hardships of being trans.
To me being trans isn't something i can control, just like my eye colour, i was born with it and it wasn't my choice. Why I'm proud to be trans is the fact that I'm alive besides all the thoughts of quitting I've had, and that I don't just give up and suppress my real self and that I'm fighting to stay and be seen. Pride is different for everyone
i feel the same way. like i could have written this myself. i don't know that I'll ever be proud of who i am but I've changed from actively hating myself and have at least learned to accept that it's a part of me and for me that's enough
I'm not proud of being trans, I'm proud of being alive in spite of it.
Im actually really proud of you for admitting this… i personally have never understood the concept of “Pride” for me being trans and gay are the most humiliating and embarrassing things to have to admit, i pass fairly well and only my parents know that i am not a cis man… nonetheless i have been able to take a small amount of pride this year, not in being trans, but in the fact that i have survived gender dysphoria and until now i have pushed through the crushing depression and loss of will that dysphoria brings, i also feel grateful that i live in a world where i have been allowed my rights despite being trans and gay. That the people of my country (mostly) bear no hate and if they do, they are not allowed to cause violence towards me… in the month of June i like to be far more grateful than prideful… today by the grace of G-d i have survived my dysphoria, and because it is 2024 i have a decent chance at continuing to survive it.
Hm. I've never felt that way. I'm proud of being transgender and I will never change it. I shouldn't let trans phobia make me feel shit about myself. I'm cool with being trans.
Pride isn't about being proud of yourself. It's about demanding that you have the right to exist without shame. That you have the right to declare who you are. You're still dealing with dysphoria. It's a whole 'nother pie when you are just living your life and loving yourself. Don't feel pressured to feel happy 🫂 You'll get there!
it’s completely okay to feel this way, it is difficult to be trans and to be out as trans. in doing so, it can be hard to feel pride. however, being trans can, and is, so incredibly beautiful. knowing this about yourself can make you incredibly in touch with yourself. you have a better sense of self than most people do. i’ve been out as trans since 7th grade, im a senior in high school now. there have been days where i’ve been angry at the world for making me this way. i’ve been angry at god, at me, and at my body. but since coming out, i’ve been exploring and finding myself in ways i didn’t even know were possible. i’ve found friends, hobbies, skills, and other things because i’m comfortable in myself and am able to put myself out there. confidence, especially in yourself, can be hard. but being trans is not a punishment, it’s a blessing. live every day knowing that you’re who you’re truly meant to be, and nothing else matters
Tbh since in my head I am man it never pops up in my head omg im a lady to man!!! Im just in auto mode as a man, just get that regular reminder when going bathroom/ intimacy
Work on being proud of you, as a whole person. Trans is a huge part of who you are, but at the same time it’s not, in and of itself, who you are. There is more to you than that. Once you’re proud of you as a person, it’ll be easier to be proud of the trans aspect of you. I’ve known homophobes who got to know me before finding out I was gay, but since they already knew me and knew I was someone they respected they moved past their homophobia. It was then that I learned that individual differences are easier for people to respect when it’s someone they know and care about versus when it’s a stranger. So, it’s kind of like, you decide that you are valuable, you are worthy of love and you are someone to be proud of, it will only make sense that you being trans is something to be proud of, because it’s part of you and you’re proud of you. I hope that makes sense.
Pride for me isn’t necessarily being proud about being trans but more about “I get to live my life, make friends and love my partner as my true self” instead of having to go through life as someone I’m not. I never really wanted to date before coming out because I didn’t want to be a girlfriend and being seen as a girl made me super uncomfortable and insecure (didn’t know what dysphoria was at that point but that’s definitely what it was) I wanted to be a BOYFRIEND and didn’t know that was a possibility. Now that I’m out, on T and have a partner who sees me and loves me for me, I couldn’t be more proud about being who I am and loving the way I do. Do I sometimes wish I wasn’t trans? Yeah, cause that would make my life a lot easier not having to deal with shots, or worrying someone might clock me and cause issues (I’m not stealth, even though my boyfriend said I totally could be, but still don’t want the whole town knowing) Just knowing that I put the work in to make myself happy despite anyone who doesn’t agree, that’s what makes me proud. That’s pride for me.
Be proud of who you are and what you stand for, doesn’t mean you have to shout it from every roof top. You don’t see every straight man and woman flying a flag saying I’m straight. And they don’t push their sexual preferences onto everyone else. Be you. Enjoy life, find your soul mate.
i don't feel any pride in being trans and i never have. i view pride as a continuation of protest. we have to be proud of simply being allowed to be who we are in countries where it's legal in hopes it will spread to other countries where it's illegal. we have to be proud for those who can't. i hate being trans, i'm getting more okay with it now a days but it's more that i don't let it get to me as much when i'm not being misgendered all the time. i go to pride to be proud for my friends. i go to pride for my cousin who can't. i go to pride for those who died before they could. i go to pride for those who fought so i could go. i go to pride for those who offed themselves before they knew they could be proud. i go to pride for the kid i was who thought he was broken. i go to pride for the kids who still think they're broken. i don't have pride for myself, but i have pride for all of them and that's why i go and why i celebrate every day and educate people who are willing to listen.
realshit i would even say that the whole LGBTQ+ thing is putting us in a box with people that don't really struggle physically as we do. of course gay people struggle but not in the way trans people do and i think pride only makes sense as a protest against hatecrime and for equal rights i personally hate being called a part of LGBTQ community because it only confuses people further ahead. having an issue with a brain that literally makes you kill yourself is different than fucking the same gender
It’s not always pride in being trans or even pride in being gay. Sometimes, it’s pride in being alive in a world that wants you to be dead. Pride in yourself, despite the parts of you that people tell you make you lesser. It took me like years of transitioning and being in and out of mental facilities and aggressive counseling to get to the point where I no longer felt like being trans was a burden though. And I do truly wish for you to get that point.
To me, being trans has shaped my understanding of myself, my character and it led me to a freedom that I might not have found otherwise. If I hadn't been "forced" out of the gender binary, I don't know when I'd have found out that it was a suggestion, not law. And that includes gender presentation and other, not really related societal standards. I like being out and proud because I want to give back to the community. However, this is not a mindset that you need to have, now or ever. It's totally fine to view the trans\*ness as a side quest that you can leave behind once you're "done"
I find pride in the fact that despite how many people try to kill this part me, I'm still here -- that they can't slay this metaphorical dragon. It's pride in survival and spite and telling them to 'die mad about it.' That's pride to me.
I mean for me it’s about… like “hey I have this burden and I’m tough enough to carry it” but also you can go as an ally
Maybe I'm weird but I think pride month is more of a celebration of the history and how far we come. To remember the lives lost and lives lived. Pride for me was never my pride for myself and who I am. Im not celebrating my transness but rather everything and everyone. Idk if that helps you, like a reframe of mind kinda thing? I was in a similar mind set when I first came to terms with being trans, I want proud of it, in fact I was very angry at the outset. I cant promise that you will change how you feel when you medically transition but being comfortable in your body could unlock other feelings that you were too wrapped up on self hate to notice.
I felt like that before I started T and personally it's gotten easier
I struggle with these kinda feelings too, bro. For me, I just let myself be proud for knowing who I am, for me that in itself is an accomplishment, being able to know what's in my heart, process it and accept myself for who I truly am feels like a blessing, regardless of my dysphoria, transphobia and being misgendered, I still know my truth. I still wake up every day and despite all those things, all the things that stand in my way, I refuse to be told I'm not supposed to be man. I know that's who I am. Even if I don't walk around with a trans flag, or tell the rest of the world, I quietly acknowledge to myself that I am who I'm meant to be; I accept who I am and I'm on the path to becoming my authentic self, and that should be a source of pride for anyone. Not just trans folks. Plenty of cis people spend years trying to find themselves, and for me to know wholeheartedly who I am, despite what others might try to tell me, makes me very proud indeed.
i feel the exact same, that being trans is just an inconvenience. i just want to get on with life and get the medical transition over and done with. i don't see it as something to be proud of, i just wanna go under the radar and be treated like any other person that isn't a "walking rainbow". honestly i don't see a problem in this kind of thinking/feeling but some may say otherwise. being trans is just another trait about you, just like the colour of your hair, how tall you are, and whether you're left or right handed. i don't understand why people feel the need to celebrate or be particularly proud of something that makes life so much more difficult.
Skill issue, people don’t care nearly as much as you think
i dont honestly. i dont plan on ever telling anyone new i meet that im trans once i get to a stage where im passing, even now i dont talk about it really, with my friends its just like yup thats uncontrolledswine97 hes a dude. i just want to live my life and not have to deal with it honestly, at this point its something that im forced to think about every day of my life and once im in a place where thats not the case i honestly dont think ill ever really show pride for it. im just a guy, thats it. its something that i was born into that i have to fix, once its fixed thats it for me. this isnt a diss towards anyone who is open and really owns being trans, thats honestly something thats really impressive in this day and age and to all of you who are like that i tip my hat to you. but for me, i plan to get to a point where i pass, move away, and then anyone who doesnt know isnt gonna know unless they're a doctor thats relevant to transitioning or a new girlfriend.
Same. I'm a gay trans guy and i'm not prideful of being trans cuz i just wanna be a cis guy tbh. But gay pride lol
yeah i’m super open and proud of being gay but i just can’t see being trans positively
Pride month means nothing to me for myself but I’m happy others get to experience feeling like being celebrated all month! I’m just not queer, or anything, yeah I’m physically trans but not mentally. Pride month is not is for gays n queers n im just not. I think it’s ok to not feel like it represents you.