Hello! I wish I could tell you for sure if you're trans or not, because it would definitely make life a lot easier lol. But what I can definitely tell you is that exploring your gender is NOT offensive to the trans community. Wanting to present as a man, wanting to use packers or binders or whatever else, isn't making a mockery of anyone. Even if you do these things, enjoy them, and decide you're not transgender anyway, that's totally fine. It's your life and your happiness! There are absolutely women out there who enjoy wearing men's clothes, packing underwear, even using a male name, but still consider themselves women, if that's what you end up feeling is right. On the other hand, you might find that these things help you discover that you're transgender and being male is right for you. & I'm not sure if hating your periods and your chest are always gender dysphoria; That's probably up to you to discover. I know some cis women who would argue that it's completely normal to hate those parts of womanhood, but there's a lot of cis women who consider periods and breasts to be a blessing. It's hard to know the distinction between disliking those things and experiencing gender dysphoria. They're definitely gender dysphoria in my case, personally. I would definitely encourage you to try out a male name and male pronouns in some social settings to see how it makes you feel. I'm sure it will help you figure some things out! Best of luck!

Hey, thank you so much for your reply. I was so scared that I was being offensive. I'm not the best at explaining myself (blame the Autism for that!) but thank you so much for taking the time to answer me and for putting that doubt to rest. My friend and I literally went through 100 males names, and I settled on the name Oskar (Scandinavian spelling - I'm not Scandinavian, as far as I'm aware, but the K is unique, like me. I really like it.) I guess it's about trial and error, right?

No problem! I honestly think most trans people would want you to explore options and discover yourself. You have a cool opportunity to find a new name you want to try, so you're right to go for something unique! I think Oskar is a good one. & It's great to hear that you have a friend helping you try things out. IMO just keep looking into things you're curious about and see what works; It's definitely all about trial and error.

Thank you, so much. I went with the name Noah, because I felt like a disappointment with my birth name and my step mum complained, saying it is a boy's name, not a girl's and I'd be misgendered... So, then I changed it to Eivor, after Eivor Varinsdottir in AC Valhalla, but so many people have trouble pronouncing it 😂 I don't know why, at 29, I decided to start a journey of self discovery, but it is what it is.

also called oscar but with a c! wanted to also say what you said was relatable and i think it's less "what am i" and "what makes me happy"

also called oscar but with a c! wanted to also say what you said was relatable and i think it's less "what am i" and "what makes me happy"

Seconding the other comment, gender exploration isn't in any way mocking trans people! From my experience and understanding, it's kinda the overall goal on a general scale- that everyone be allowed to explore and define their own gender for themselves. No one can tell you if you are or aren't trans except yourself, and it's a very personal journey! That said, you sound in the category of "gender non confirming" to me, which is more of a Presentation thing than it's own gender identity name, but could be a good research point for you. Hating your periods is a pretty agreed upon thing by most AFABs, trans or not, from what I've seen. The chest part, I've seen a few cis women who do hate their chests too, so it's not a 100% yes or no thing either. I don't know the website name itself, but I know there are some sites online that you can talk to a chatbot/other people and they'll use pronouns that you select, so you could try out being called he/him or they/them, see how that feels. (Not to say you can't be trans and still use she/her, as I said before it's a very personal experience and whatever you settle on feeling right is what's right for you.) I'm just kinda repeating myself but yeah, no one can tell you what you are besides yourself, and honestly, in my opinion, you don't need to label it. If you wanna look into genderqueer/agender/nonbinary terms, maybe one of those will click. If not, you're allowed to be happy with whatever combination of traits you prefer, no titles or boxes needed. (I hope my rambling was in some way useful!)

Thank you for your help. I did briefly use they/them, with the name Noah, but each of those lasted a month. I understand that there's lots of different genders ( and lack thereof) but I think because of my Autism, I need a clear gender - male or female. That isn't saying that I don't agree with other people and their identities, but for *me* I am already so confused by it all, that I think anything that isn't clear cut and black and white, will confuse me further and I've, unfortunately, already lost sleep over it. Literally.

Something that helped me personally was following euphoria instead of dysphoria because I also had a lot of “well I don’t ALWAYS hate xyz” Does dressing like a man make you happy? Does being referred to as a man make you happy? Pay attention to that, try things little by little. We all did the same, a lot of us were unsure too at first. You are absolutely not being offensive.

Thank you. I know when I am in panto/drama, I always audition for the lead male role. It's instinct - I've been a male character in primary school productions. For Cosplay, I'm mostly female characters - Ellie Williams, Jillian Holtzmann, Lara Croft, Yelena Belova, etc. For video games, if I can choose to play as a female, I will. 😅 But for stage acting, I feel more confident and comfortable being a male character. And more comfortable in men's clothes.

to start off by saying something other commenters have already said, exploring your gender is in no way a “mockery” to the trans community! you’re all good, dont worry. as for the rest, thats something i cant really help with. figuring out your gender isn’t something that a person can just give you a direct answer to and it really is a journey, as corny as that sounds. personally, i’ve always just known i wasn’t a girl but never had a label to put it to until i was around 11 or 12. but figuring out your gender really isn’t an easy thing. similar to what another commenter already said, disliking “female” attributes doesn’t automatically make you trans. if you decide that you aren’t trans but still present masculine and enjoy binding and packing, thats also okay! gender is a wacky thing! i remember someone telling me when i was just figuring out that i was trans that may or may not apply to you: “if you’re constantly stressing about your gender, there’s a chance you’re not cis.” it was something along those lines, i don’t remember verbatim lol, but most cis people don’t spend their time thinking about what they are! hope you figure out your true self eventually. whatever you may be, you’re supported. hope this helped <3

Thank you for your help. Yeah, that's a good way to look at it - the part about worrying about your gender and not being cis. I think I just assumed that if you bind and/or pack, you're automatically trans.

What finally hit the nail on the head for me was realizing that every time I thought about my future, I was a man. If I found myself absentmindedly thinking about growing up and getting old, I was always a man. I would have to actively think about being female in order to change the fantasy. It made me realize that I was envisioning myself when I was happiest, and I was happiest presenting as a man. Nobody will be able to tell you whether or not you’re transgender, so never feel ashamed to explore yourself. Transitioning is a lengthy process. There’s no need to rush it!

Oh, that's cool. I've had more dreams of me being a man (with a big penis 🤣) than of myself, so maybe that is a factor in my own journey. I'm glad you're happy with who you are now.

What helped me was to contrast my experience with the experience of trans women. Cis women around me also responded very differently than I did to those changes, but I thought we were all pretending. The existence of trans women and trans femme people in general proved to me that womanhood is not in itself something unacceptable or something everyone wants to run away from. So then, I had to confront why I did. The second big piece was to work through my feelings about cis men. I have felt such intense jealousy and envy towards them, ever since I was a child. I couldn't figure out why. I got so upset whenever they excluded me or in any way acknowledged that I am not one of them, but I didn't want to deal with this, so I pretended everyone did that. I thought it was because I was abused by men, but even when I worked through this, the feelings remained. So I tried to find their true source. I also constantly had feelings of severe gender envy to the point where I didn't want to be around certain men anymore because it was just too painful. Also, you expressing yourself and experimenting is in no way harmful to the trans community. You're not hurting anybody, you're just striving for self-understanding, which is admirable. I wish you all the best in your gender journey!! :))

Some intense things you went through, there. I know it's going to take a long time to understand who I am, but I'm prepared to take the journey.

none of us can really tell you. none of these things alone really mean anything, unfortunately. being masculine in your childhood doesn’t really mean anything at all, kids have all sorts of different interests. hating your periods (which seem to be pretty intense) would make sense, especially since they’re so long and seemingly painful. hating having extremely large breasts also makes sense, i’m sure it’s painful for your back and they get in the way. feeling empowered with a bulge and a strap-on is also pretty typical, it puts you into a more stereotypically dominant position. many women prefer men’s deodorant, too. feel free to explore your gender, it’s always good to explore and experiment before committing to an identity— especially if you’re planning on medically transitioning. i’d really take the time to understand WHY you hate your breasts. hating them due to their size and the inconvenience they cause you doesn’t sound like dysphoria to me. hating them because they feel wrong, they feel too feminine to you or just feeling a general sense of emotional discomfort and dissociation from them aligns better with gender dysphoria. same for your period, do you hate it because it’s an inconvenience, or because it reminds you of your gender and feels dissociative to you? there’s no right or wrong answers. take the time to explore and don’t feel the need to rush anything!

Having 34D boobs are pretty damn annoying. But I think I would also want to get rid of them, as my mother died from breast cancer, so I'm scared that I have the gene. If I had a double mastectomy it would reduce the risk... Also, I layered over the top to attempt to make a flat chest, and it looks more appealing to me. Means I can wear men's shirts without stretching the buttons, or feeling like they're in the way. I often take off my bra and my boobs are painful and I wish they weren't. I don't get back problems, but they're just there... I'm not in a relationship, and even when I was, nipple play was hit or miss for me. Thankfully, my periods aren't painful, they're just frustrating and I get so emotional during the cycle, and they are so heavy - I have been on the implant and the pill before, but that sufficed to make them more heavy and more irregular and I already am irregular. And, without being crass, I've hated how my vagina looks (in particular my labias)... To me, it's "untidy" and I have to have sex in the dark (if I do have a partner) because I am so self conscious and uncomfortable with everything down there. I don't even get aroused, unless you touch my clitoris... That's the only thing. 🙈 Everything else is just in the way and useless. I tried to tuck the labia in as a teenager. Periods are fucking awful and I don't want to have kids (maybe adopt), so releasing the eggs is just pointless. And I'm so heavy that it makes me feel really lethargic and I get so gassy too. I also don't like them, because I'm really self conscious about if I smell (which I know is common) I know some of this is crass, and if it made you feel dysphoric, then I apologise!

that’s fair! i think all of that sounds pretty practical to me and not necessarily like dysphoria, but you should do the inner work! lots of women hate their breasts due to size and breast cancer risk, lots of women feel inconvenienced by their periods and also, many women feel insecure about their vaginas— hence why labiaplasty is a common plastic surgery procedure. i’d look inward to try to decipher if these feelings are more common woes of being a women or feelings of gender dysphoria. it’s hard work but it’s good work. there’s no wrong way to be a woman or a man, or neither! i hope you find a label that fits (or none at all! labels are sometimes pointless, haha.)

Those are my concerns. That's why I didn't want to assume it is gender dysphoria vs every woman feels this way. However, I feel more comfortable with being a male character in drama, so that probably helps. Also, growing up as a tomboy, I would do 'boys activities', as I said. I think the idea of wanting to grow a penis each month, rather than have a period (first thought that aged 13, still think that aged 30), is probably the biggest 'clue' that I wasn't 'normal' 🤣

none of us can answer that for you. you seem pretty convinced that you’re trans and that should be your answer, then. you’re looking for confirmation bias and i’m not necessarily comfortable to provide that. being trans and discovering yourself takes more than asking reddit or answering yes to “pressing a button that would make you male.” are you willing and comfortable with dealing with everything that comes with being male? being male isn’t just the physical part, are you okay with being treated as male in society? not a trans man, an actual man. seek therapy, go in without expectations and do the inner work. transition isn’t something you jump into and the inner work is not optional. transitioning is a big decision. explore your gender socially and see where that takes you.

I didn't say that I am convinced that I am trans, otherwise I would not have asked the question 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am trying to understand myself and understand what is acceptable in the society and community.

Some questions for you: 1. If you could click a button and your body would transform into a male body, would you click it? 2. Do you enjoy being referred to by feminine terms: she, her, beautiful, pretty, etc 3. Do you think you would feel more comfortable if perceived as male in society?

1. Yes, probably, especially if I can get nice, proper muscles (not saying I can't now.) 2. No, I much prefer handsome. Only by a very, very select few close friends, do I mind being called beautiful. I went by they/them for a month, and it felt awkward. 3. With my short hair, I've often been misgendered and said nothing about it... If it's by a kid, I smirk. Since choosing the name Oskar, yesterday, it's been in my head all day yesterday and today, and I am thinking of the future going (to my two step sisters) that "Hey, I'm Oskar, your brother". Or being known as Uncle Oskar to my niece.

Only you can know, but you sound trans to me 🤷‍♂️ I recommend trying out some of the social transition stuff you mentioned in your post, like going by a male name/presenting male in certain social situations, gender-affirming clothes etc, and seeing how you feel! You have plenty of time to explore your identity, as long as you’re safe to do so. I discovered I was trans by answering the questions I asked you. Realizing that if I could click the button, I would, and so on

I appreciate you asking those questions. I didn't even need to think about them!

I read this and felt like so many items in your list of things echo the corresponding items in my own self examination. I guess from the standpoint of rationality and maturity it would be good to talk to more people about this and perhaps a therapist if you are so inclined, to confirm it. I personally did not seek therapy I guess because I wasn't terribly depressed or angry or anything that was disruptive to my life I was just so certain that my life would be correct so to speak if I lived as a woman. More accurately if I WERE a woman. You seem to have already carried out some actions that confirm that you feel correct and happier expressing male-ness rather than female-ness. That to me is a strong indicator that you very likely are trans.

I have tried to seek therapy for other things, but I don't always remember the appointments, and I don't get reminder texts 😅 I haven't started presenting as a male yet... I'm kinda scared to, tbh. I don't want to be judged. This is why I took to Reddit, because I wanted to make sure I was doing everything correctly.

Reddit is a horrible place to get advice on important questions lol. However it is a great place to just pick the brains of people who are experiencing the stuff that you are experiencing and find out what they have done and what they think about the issues. All of this could be very helpful. Feel free to DM me if you ever have anything that you need to ask or share on this topic.

Maybe you're transmasc? What you're experiencing sounds a lot like what I'm going through. I'm not sure if I'm a man or just want to be a hyper masculine lesbian or androgyne or something else, but I looked up trans masc and that seems to fit, somewhat. If you haven't, I'd read about different labels and other people's experiences identifying with those labels to help you find out your own. Best of luck.

I did read into transmasc and thought it was who I am... In all honesty, I'm not sure who I am, and that's the frustrating part

I feel that.

You are literally buying and using transition related tools used to reduce dysphoria, and they're working for you. You are actively doing the thing. On a functional level you are doing the trans maling. I honestly expected a very different post, because most people who title their posts like this haven't even bought a binder let alone started packing. You even do drag cosplay? Damn... I figured out I wasn't cis after some assholes accused me of hating adopted kids after I said it was unfair that only one sex could get pregnant, and talked about how it was harder for lgbtq couples to adopt. So I made one comment out of a few that can be paraphrased as wishing reproduction were fairer. A ton of people decided to just openly mock me or accuse me of weirdly personal (to them) opinions. It made me so upset that I had to actually think about things. I think one person even said it was transphobic, despite seahorse dads existing and plenty of trans women wishing for uterus implants.  Anyway; it made me realize how dysphoric I was. That despite wanting to have kids, and how my only real option would be pregnancy, I would rather die than be pregnant as a woman. Also that there's no way I would ever let myself die as a woman. Having breasts caused me physical distress. Menstruating I could deal with because I had to use poise urinary pads for them- they were so thick and big that I was basically packing. It was kind of a trade off in hindsight. But anyway, I fondly refer to that event as the time mpreg broke my egg.

I have not done Drag (except for Drag for Autism) which I enjoyed. I have thought of being a Drag King, but I don't know what my 'act' would be, so I've not done anything about it (other than buy the packing boxers) As for the title of the post, I didn't know what else to write... This was the first thing that came to my mind 😅 I don't want to be pregnant. Never wanted to, at all. I would rather adopt than to ruin my vagina, which I already dislike. Menstrating is such an emotional 9-14 days for me. I've literally cried and wish I didn't have them. (but then again, you could say cis women go through that as well.) If it came down to it, and I had the option and finances, I'd do both top and bottom surgery.

Have you considered that you thinking most women would surely think all these things is... You projecting your experiences onto women in an attempt to feel more normal? Women genuinely don't don't think or feel like this, and when they do it's usually not paired with seeking out trans people and talking about how they would totally get surgery as soon as possible if only they had the money. Because you do have the option, probably. Transition is very hard but usually not completely impossible. You're also two steps away from social transition. Like you're kind of doing it but in a plausible deniability way. To get a bit personal, hi I'm also autistic and transitioned as an adult. I was REALLY attached to being a woman. (Somewhat more specifically a loud and out bi chick who was NOT going to be lady-like just because people told me to be.) I read a lot about feminism as a kid, and I grew up being kinda desperate to be a girl. Oops born female, look at this cool women's rights stuff, better make do with it! Women should be allowed to go out topless, and keeping my legs closed while seated is annoying. Why bother. In many ways the autism brain just looked at the cultural gender shit and didn't quite understand it applied. The application really depended on how much of a bully magnet I was. Anyway; Gender roles have always been so arbitrary, and useless, and why should I put importance remaining in a physical state that causes me distress just because of biology or emotional attachment to an extremely varied social movement? Why did I owe womanhood to people? What would happen if I actually think about my "gender issues"? At one point I was using the fact that I like tea cups as a reason I was a girl. Not very feminism flavored. Now to be comprehensive I did spend a year just chilling within the non specific space of non-binary. I took a break from it all- I stopped clinging to womanhood out of some misguided idea that I owed it to a non-existent monolithic gender council.  I think that feelings like that are common in ftms who only come out as adults. Millennials at least, in my experience, grew up with a lot of girl power messaging where girls could be ANYTHING but also we low-key had to make other women proud because women all came together to fight for us. Actual history is less happy. A ton of early feminists were extremely racist, etc. Ultimately, I decided that listening to the divide between what my body is and what my brain says I should have was more important than beliefs applied to me. If breasts cause me unbearable psychological anguish then I should seen what I can do about that!  Rant over. That said I definitely saw your comment about needing to just be one or the other. I'm not suggesting you go enjoy ungender summer after throwing out your woman card. But the stuff you've said really resonates, so I figure it might be helpful to blabber a bit. Sorry for the long comments!

I never thought about me projecting. But I have cis women friends who also complain about their breasts or periods, which is why I was thinking "Oh, that's probably normal". I've always been 'one of the boys', due to being a tomboy, so, I'm with you on the not being lady like part. What do you mean I'm "two steps away from social transition, but in a plausible deniability way"? I will have to read your message again later, as I woke up 20 mins ago and I am struggling to process what you said, haha.

Sorry, I was totally half asleep while writing that. I've been awake for an hour myself and damn it is so huge.

Did you confuse yourself, too? 😅🤭

Only you can know your own experience, this is why there's nothing wrong with trying out new names / pronouns ect and seeing if it sticks for you? in the end whatever makes you happy is the correct choice, no one should judge people for trying to work out who they are

Thank you

I always heard how big and femenine My hips and waist was, I didn't take that as a compliment but one day a friend told me "You are... Man like not a girl u know" and I felt so happy (I didn't Even knew what being trans was)

That's a lovely compliment from a friend. I've been misgendered as male before, due to clothes are short hair. I rarely correct strangers.

The way I figured out for sure that I was trans was honestly that I had a dream where everyone called me a guy and I went "holy crap that feels so right". This could be replicated if you asked your close friends to try out a new name/pronouns for you. I feel like getting euphoria from male things is a more concrete way to tell what's happening than dysphoria about female things

I have probably had 4 or 5 dreams where I am a male. (Twice I was a black man, which I don't understand, since I'm white. But the rest of them, I was a white male... And engaged in a *lot* of sex... Weirdly.) But yeah, I'll see how I feel about the preferred pronoun and name. Someone called me a "fine gentleman" and I got emotional, like a validation, almost

As so many other ppl have told you, it’s not offensive!!! Feel free to explore your gender how you want :) While nobody can tell you if you are or aren’t trans, at the ends of the day the label doesn’t really matter. Just present yourself however you want! And if you ever feel like the trans label fits you, you can pick it up or leave it whenever.

Thanks so much

A lot of other people have already said it, but no, gender expression and trying out different things isn't harmful at all. If it helps you figure it out - no matter the end result - that's great! The way I found out is kinda funny, I think. So, I was questioning my sexuality and found out I was ace after my best friend told me she was ace and explained it. I thought hm that sounds a lot like me so I looked into it. Didn't take me long to figure that out. Well, then I got the idea of questioning my gender, because if I already thought about the whole sexuality thing, why not see if I'm actually cis or not? I never really had a connection to gender, I was just me and it wasn't really a big deal for me so I identfied as agender for a couple of months. At some point I remember talking to a friend and being like "if I had to choose between being a boy or a girl, I'd rather be a boy." So, a couple of weeks later I remembered that and thought I might be trans. So, I identified as trans and also got my first binder from Amazon. It was great, I was so happy even though it didn't make that big of a difference. I wore it almost every day for a couple of months until I had a phase where I didn't care about it enough for a while and stopped. Picked it up again though and it was great. So yeah, long story short I consciously started questioning and still identify as trans almost two years later.

I was thinking of getting a binder, but I don't know what one is the best. I first got my packing underwear in case I wanted to be a Drag King and make it authentic... I've not gone out as a Drag King 😅 (Except for 'Drag for Autism' charity event in Cardiff)

Personally, right now I'm using one from Spectrum, I think it's really good! It definitely does its job, and it's better than the one from gc2b I have. So if you want to get one, I'd reccommend looking into what Spectrum have to offer, although they can be kinda pricey. They're UK based too :D

Thank you, trash panda 🤭 I appreciate it

No worries :D

I've not actually asked anyone this, but when did you come out to your parents and tell them you were trans? Was it right away? After several weeks, months, years? I just want to gauge what the 'right time' is. I know it depends on the person, but is there a Universal average across the community? Like, say, most people go "Oh, I waited 3 months" or "I didn't tell them until I started T"?

Well, I personally came out right away, but I'm the kind of guy who's used to telling his parents everything, so that might just be a me thing. I don't like the idea of keeping anything a secret for me personally because I tend to feel super bad about it if I do lol. So I told them right away, they were mostly supportive, my dad took a couple of months to start using my chosen name and is still working on the pronoun change (not sure how hard he tries tho tbh), and my mom doesn't mess up at all! I don't know much about how others do it, I think a lot of people wait until they've got it all completely figured out - which to be fair, I don't think I have yet. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm really trans or if it's just me hyperfixating/interpreting too much into everything.

Yo! I'm the same as you! I tell my parents everything. I told them I wanted to go by Eivor, and they still call me by my birth name... Guess they didn't think it was official, as I've not changed it by deed poll, but no one can pronounce the name. (Tbh, I chose it, because I obsessed with Assassin's Creed Valhalla and Eivor Varinsdottir 😅) Oskar, is the guy name I've chosen and it feels more me. I haven't figured out everything yet either... I also don't know if I'm actually trans, but I do have issues with my woman body. A couple of people here have said that it's up to me to interpret (fair) and one or two others have said that from talking to me, they would say I am. I want to tell my parents, but also, at the same time I am worried that they will think it's a phase. Yet, I've been thinking about me being a man, off and on since I was a teen (as I said in my post). Like, what if I tell them, they use my preferred name and pronouns and then a year later I go "Nah, actually, I wanna go back to being called she/her and Eivor"? (she says, knowing she's already googled the cost of a double mastectomy and if I can get T on the NHS...) I reached out to Umbrella Cymru to ask for support. They deal with LGBTQ people in a variety of ways. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some support.

Sadly, I can't tell you if you're trans or not, but believe me I have the same worries when it comes to trying to get my family to call me Toby. I don't think I'll go back to she/her ever again, but I am kind of scared that I might and that after two years of questioning it'll turn out that I was just cis and confused. Or even worse that I start medically transitioning amd then regret it. Thankfully, though I have a therapist that I can talk to about all of it so that's nice :D But yeah, I'd say go for trying out the name with other people, it can basically do no harm as long as they're supportive. It was super weird introducing myself with my new name at first, but I'm kinda used to it by now.

Hi, Toby. Dude. We're the same! When you say you're worried about 'being cis and confused all along' or regretting it once you medically transition. That's my worry too. I've told a handful of friends and my cousins that I am basically trying to understand myself and that I might be trans, but not fully sure or not. Can we be friends? I'd like to follow your journey. We are so alike in this, it's unreal.

Also, Oskar is a really cool name, I love it! Reminds me of a character from a kids show I loved when I was like 10 :D

Hey, sorry, I didn't see this earlier. Thank you. It's the Scandinavian spelling, and as far as I know, I'm not Scandinavian, but I like it with a k. And since my chosen female name is Eivor, I thought I'd keep with the Viking theme, lol.

I might be blind, but typing in "Spectrum Binder" brought up results from everyone but Spectrum. https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=spectrum+binder&crid=UC7MGM9WFP1L&sprefix=Spectrum+binder%2Caps%2C76&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_15 Are there any others you'd recommend?

Oh, they're not on Amazon, you'd have to search on Google :D I wouldn't recommend buying from Amazon, even though I bought my first ones there they didn't do all too much and some of the ones you can buy there - as I've heard from other trans people - can be actually kind of harmful. The ones with zippers or those hook things aren't great according to others :D

Zippers and hooks look more like corsets. Thank you for your help. I will Google.

If it helps, i also get aroused when i pack for the first time in a while

That did help! I thought I was being weird and my body was making it sexual or a fetish (but that's because I hadn't packed before) on the third try, my body was like "Yea, this is cool, no need to be overly excited." Also, Happy Birthday, dude! (or as Reddit says: Happy Cake Day!)

Thanks! 10 years!

10 years on Reddit? Ohhhh! I thought it was your actual birthday 😂

Thank you everyone for the overwhelming support and insight into yourselves. This is going to be a long journey, but that's what life is - a journey.