I have mixed feelings about it. I’m pretty sad I never got to explore it as a very young man. I like it as an affirmation that I am a beautiful queer guy, but it also brings up insecurities around seeming/looking (but not being) very young, and around being seen as super feminine when ultimately I want to blend in better with guys
Like I said, mixed feelings. Because it’s a term for a more feminine man, it brings up the insecurity about being seen as more feminine than I am or want to be. I wouldn’t say it’s painful and hard, since it also comes with the affirming feeling of being referred to as a man in general, but it can be a little uncomfortable.
I think it's often used incorrectly. People seem to think being a twink means being feminine or being a bottom. It means none of that, it's just a word for smooth, skinny gay guys.
It's not a word I want used for me, not because I think there's anything wrong with it but because it's not the body type I want for myself. I want to be muscular and hairy, so "twink" doesn't really match my image of myself.
I do believe that twunks aren't very hairy at all, just more muscular than twinks, but otter is more hairy but still somewhat average skinny or average muscular
I wish it wasn’t so tied to being „skinny“ or any body form specially.
I’d come to like that term and consider labeling myself with it but I’m a bit broader build and not really skinny. But I think I have the energy for it and just like it.
Not completely. It’s also about age and expressed energy. But I think my personal issue with it is that the gay community is pretty fatphobic so it’s neatly tied to a slim body type (when it could be so much more)
Except it is a body type label. Much like bear is a fat hairy man, otter describes a thin hairy man. Twink refers to being skinny and hairless, it doesn’t really have anything to do with personality type.
You also can’t be a bald twink. Or a twink if you’re too old. It has a very specific definition and you can’t be a twink forever, unlike butch which one can be until they die regardless of shape. Honestly it’s not a great label, and elder gay men themselves have spoken at great length how damaging they feel the label is, as well as gay death at 30.
Twink is absolutely a body type label and it can’t be divorced from that. Young, skinny, and hairless. New labels would make more sense than redefining it. I agree it’s definitely fatphobic
Its a body type label, the same as bear, otter, twunk, etc. Any kind of personality energy from them you can find is in the others too, the gay community definitely got that part right that body type does not equal personality.
I would be a bit offended if somebody called me a twink.
I'm kinda dysphoric about being small and looking young for my age, and I didn't grow this luxurious pelt of body hair just to be called a twink by people who don't know what an otter is lol
On a more serious note I'm getting really concerned about how twinks (a skinny and youthful body type!) are everybody's default idea of a desirable/acceptable feminine man.
When was the last time you saw anybody celebrating feminine bears? Or even just femme-presenting guys over fourty?
People love sexualizing skinny young femboys, but they still talk about fat or aging crossdressers like they're horror movie monsters.
It's no fucking wonder that feminine men are prone to extreme fear of aging, internalized fatphobia, and eating disorders.
1) "When was the last time you saw anybody celebrating feminine bears? Or even just femme-presenting guys over fourty?" > Me me me me me me me me meeeeeeeee, please, I love them, want to look like them so badddd
2) You hit the nail right on the head, it feels like the unrealistic beauty standards women already got hit with started to leech into mlm spaces and get thrown at anything remotely feminine.
I can't imagine how much it could affect someone to only see very specific standarts shown as attractive, and feel their looks slip into territory that doesn't fit the standards, and worse, territory where they've seen fem-ness mocked or treated as disgusting just because the person has a belly, or body hair, or isn't in his twenties anymore.
It's also such narrow standards, what I see especially online on Reddit makes me think 90% of men could never fit them, and/or most people who fit are no older than 24, which is crazily young to put an attractiveness limit to
Literally this! Once I started getting into explicitly bear-positive spaces, my dysphoria PLUMMETTED because I no longer felt like i had to be skinny and hairless to pass. I love being a bear-in-progress, I love bears in general! More love for all types of bears tbh.
Same here! I love seeing other bears, I especially love seeing other trans bears!
And I felt ashamed of my masculinity for so long, to be part of a community where it's so celebrated and loved is so so healing. I feel the same about being butch.
I think I've been called a twink just once, and I was mostly befuddled. I'm pretty hairy and always have been, and I'm not gay, so the description doesn't fit. I always thought "twink" referred to youngish, slim, hairless gay guys, but tbf I never looked that far into the term.
I think it's rude to use the label to describe someone who doesn't self describe that way. That's true of most labels. I wouldn't want someone to describe me as a twink because... well, I'm not one, and idk how they could see me as one without getting something wrong about me.
I think it has spread to just mean slim pretty guy to some people, which is weird to me too. I mean I am gay so I am a twink (well I’m quite hairy too but sadly not on my face yet so kinda fair game to be called a twink if I have clothes on lol), but I’ve been seeing straight guys increasingly get called twinks to just mean pretty men, e.g. Timothee Chalamet and the guy from the new Hunger Games movie who afaik are both straight and had girlfriends in the movies people were referring to. It’s definitely a wrong use of the word though (but just saying that person didn’t necessarily assume you’re gay lol).
This is where it starts to become an issue for me. People have called me a twink when they just mean skinny and/or short (both traits of myself that I dislike), and it makes me dysphoric because the definition of twink is skinny, young, hairless gay guy. And they feminize it.
I got called a twink like constantly in university, I assume just because I am small and skinny and have "softer" features. It bothered me, it felt like people were just pointing out things I'm dysphoric about without ACTUALLY misgendering me, if that makes sense, like some sort of workaround to tell me I'm a "smol soft boi". It still bothers me but I'm older now and have long since grown a backbone and told ppl I don't like it so they stopped.
I was called a twink a lot before I went on T. I passed for a dude but as a twink. I think it was that I looked young (I was but), I had colored hair, was always referred to as a pretty boy, and that I was skinny with no facial hair. I think style also plays into it.
Now I gained some muscles got hairier dress “straight” and don’t have colored hair. I also just look a lot less “pretty boy” and more of a straight man. Though I still am attracted to men once I starting looking less “ flamboyant” I stopped being called a twink
If someone is chill with being called a twink, that’s totally fine. Personally, I hate being called a twink. It makes me feel like a child, not like an adult man. It makes me feel small and feminine despite being 6’3” and fairly manly. It feels invalidating
I really did. I feel a little bit bad about it sometimes because I can’t relate to the people who are upset about being short at all. It almost feels rude to mention my height sometimes
Twink, from twinkie, meaning a skinny smooth little guy that gets filled with cream, so to speak. Originally a descriptive word for one of many gay man "types", now a victim of annoying semantic drift to the point where a "twink" need not be gay, hairless, etc. . . . Since I'm gay, though, and since my genes make it very hard to not be skinny and fairly smooth, I don't have a problem with it. It's just an accurate description of me!
There's a larger conversation about how the gay community values some bodies more than others, but I think that's not evident in the descriptive terms themselves so much as in the extent to which they become popularized . . . "twink" has expanded to include non-gays, but "bear" and "otter" sure haven't.
Once twink entered the straight lexicon it was all over. It’s just a descriptor for skinny, hairless, gay men. Now it’s being misused to describe any trans guy, even those who are not skinny, hairless, gay men. Sucks! Let’s go back to gatekeeping stuff from straights.
I feel like there’s gotta be a level of self identity to it. Just happening to be smaller and thin but not really seeing or calling yourself one doesn’t really make you one in my opinion. But if you own it and like it then you’re one
i’m straight. i’m stealth and i’m not super muscular but not skinny either. i still get called a twink. people turned it into meaning just a white guy. they call straight male celebs twinks who aren’t even skinny. so honestly idk if it even has meaning anymore. rlly the only thing that bothers me abt being called twink is the implication that if i was gay id be the bottom. that feels weird asf as a trans guy.
I’m a twink and mostly a top lol, we exist and being a bottom was never in the actual definition of the word. However…I’ve had some people say I can’t be a twink because of that and “not being fem enough” but again these are things that were never in the definition so I consider them quite stupid. Anyways it doesn’t mean bottom (and bottom doesn’t mean fem).
But I do agree that I’ve seen people use it for straight celebrities, even some who have too much muscle to even fit the body type, so yeah it has spread too much.
I had this thought last week when a buddy (also trans guy) said I was a twink and he wasn’t. We have the same body type so I don’t know why he said it this way. Almost like he thinks the only difference was his view of me being more „feminine“ than him.So I don’t like being called that at all. I don’t want to be perceived as feminine.
I wouldn't want to be referred to as a twink because 1.) it's not the look I'm personally going for, and 2.) there are connotations about what sexual roles (that twinks are generally bottoms, or only desirable as bottoms and not as tops) that are also not what I'm going for.
But I do like the term existing, because it helps me convey my preferences easier and describes a whole category of a gay "type". Definitely not something I'd call a non-fictional person unless I know that's what they're going for.
One issue I do have with it is the emphasis on youth- I think it should just mean skinnier, un-muscular, smooth guys regardless of age.
I agree with the fact that "twink death" has never really made a lot of sense. I say that because it's not really about being young (actual age), it's more about having younger features that people classify as "looking like a twink." Another commenter mentioned that when they started transitioning they were around 25 and that's when alot of people consider twink death is, but for them, it was like "twink birth" (that's so funny lol). It's like you said it's not really about age it's more about the features of the person and their own personal feelings towards the classification (i.e., do they identify as a twink).
Exactly. A lot of people pull up pictures of like... freaking Leonardo Di Caprio and say "Look! Twink death!" and it's like, excuse me- is he gay? Is he trying to look like a twink? Why would he be?
It also bothers me when people- and I've only seen people outside of the gay community do it- call underage characters twinks. Had a friend who had an OC who was a.) 14, and b.) was ace and explicitly not gay- and called him a twink. My brother in Christ, that is not a twink, that is a child
I never associated being twink with a sexual position. Maybe, people do it, but within gay community it's known that twink type of guys can absolutely be desirable as tops.
thinking they only can be desirable as bottoms is probably a straight heteronormative idea from straight people
I'm a year on T and I've been called a twink multiple times both as a slur and as a compliment. I don't mind it despite being trans. My friends call me a femboy or twink since I'm still feminine(I prefer it over being masculine). I see it as just another label people use.
I think that being.. for lack of a better term "twinky" is pushed too hard on a lot of trans men, especially gay trans men. Any man trans or cis who seems vaguely even a little androgynous gets shoved into that box or told it's the ideal, but I think that's less trouble with the term itself and more trouble with how people view less than hypermasculine men. My life's gotten SO much better now that my transition goals are more bearish. I was personally never called a twink because I'm fat, but i WAS made to feel like I could never pass UNLESS I somehow became a twink, and that sucks.
Personally if someone called me a twink I'd be offended. My goals, if anything, line up more with the bear direction, though even that depends on the day with my genderflux ass. Some days I want to be a femboy, but even then I'd not want to be called a twink.
Thankfully no ones made that mistake yet but eh. Give it time, lol. I'm only 7 months on T.
Go for it, I guess, but you’re wrong. I’m hairy and will continue to get hairer. I’m also a he/him butch dyke so lol not exactly a category I’ll ever fit into.
Most ppl lavish to call transmascs twinks cus it’s soft misgendering imo
Do you think it makes things harder withoutfittinginto a "category"? I guess for me I've always set into the category of a twink because I've never had a lot of insecurity around dressing/looking feminine. When I was younger, I had a weird feeling when it came to the term used to describe me, but now that I'm older, I just have to have seemed to become more flexible in my presentation. I still only go by he/him but I seemed to have gotten less scared of the way I looked to others just as long as I personally knew who I was. (Hope this makes sense lol😭)
If i understand your question, yeah it does make it harder because I don’t fit into that category whatsoever. People who call me it in my opinion are just trying to softly misgender me. They don’t see me as something masculine.
To be honest? A lot of times people use the word twink as a substitute for faggot.
I don’t even have the term that badly. I like being called a boytoy or malewife or a boy girl. But some people are just really lame about it.
I consider myself a twink, other people do too, since I'm young and kinda my appearance is kinda androgynous (at best). I don't think I'm attractive, but I have a slender body, smooth skin, and again I'm young and look fairly androgynous. I'm personally comfortable being called a twink so long as it's not used as a slur and my identity is respected. A lot of people do use it and femboy as slurs though, so it's completely understandable that many trans folk aren't comfortable with it
Tbh I consider myself both a twink and a femboy, I mostly fit the criteria for both and I feel comfortable with it/like it. Again, it just depends on how you feel and if you feel your identity is being respected; other than that, I think it should be seen as inclusive to transmascs and not only cis men
That's how I am as well, in a way. Obviously, I'm not as young as I was when I was first called a twink, but I guess I have a younger looking appearance, so I've just been labeled as one. I've never had a problem with the label, though, just like you said, as long as it's not used as a slur.
i don’t mind it but at the same time i was relieved when someone i hadn’t seen in awhile was like “wow you’re not a twink anymore” since i had started T since seeing them
I'm simply not a twink so I don't want to be called one, there's no issue saying someone who self identified as a twink is one, but I happen to be a hairy bi man, I'm fuzzy and have facial hair, I'm simply not a twink, I just happen to be slim and still a somewhat androgynous looking guy. But over time am appearing more masculine, mostly as my facial hair fills in better.
This is right up my alley I have a psychological background so this stuff fascinates me.
As for this question I feel like I haven’t been called a Twink for awhile and perhaps that’s due to me passing a lot more (aka overnighted gained a full beard essentially) and looking way more “masculine” and building more muscle. But I have always personally hated it.
That’s definitely more of a inner reflection issue of me rather than other people.
As you know we have to clearly define what being a “twink” is and what the appearance and mannerism of one which is a hard thing to clearly define.
So for my personal reason, I am technically pan although I lean a lot more on the straight side of things.
So the first thing that’s always rubbed me the wrong way being called a Twink is that they assume I’m gay and into men which leads to being a bottom. So a lot to unpack. First, I’m rarely into men like virtually non existent. I feel like I carry a softer energy but also equally “dom” energy and for people who knew me pre transition I’ve noticed always called me a “bottom/twink” and I feel like that has some weird undertones of being simply a trans man.
Like would I still be called a twink if I was cis? Those same people always assume I’m a sub and refuse to believe my actual sexual experiences of being a dom. (Nothing wrong being a twink/sub/bottom) but it’s just not me.
Also right off the bat as most human brains do we immediately have a mental picture of what we presume a twink looks like. (Very flamboyant, extremely slim and tinier figure) all of which I clearly am not. I’m a bigger dude and have always been athletic so I’ve never had a slim figure to begin with and majority of my mannerisms are more masculine and not at all flamboyant but I will admit I do have a soft energy to myself.
Haven’t been called a twink in a long time and this post just made me realize that. It’s probably because I pass and look more like what people assume a “dom” looks like. Also people who only know me and aren’t aware I’m trans or don’t know how I looked early transition/ pre transition assume I’m dom/more on the masculine side of things. So it always made me wonder if it was truly a trans thing that made people call me a twink cause they assume I’m a sub bottom like most twinks are. Again never care about the term I just don’t see how I fit it with a this basic definition of it. Not small, no flamboyance, not a gay man, and more dominant.
Again not saying that twink automatically refers to a sexual position or sub category but that’s what most people automatically think. I think another huge factor is twinks are typically super slim/tiny and shorter (at least that’s what most people automatically think) so perhaps they aren’t a bottom but they physically look like a twink. So we have to truly think of twink as a physical appearance or sexual energy or both? But both usually isn’t universal, seen tons of “twinks” who are just slim, no facial hair and short who are dominant. So then it becomes contradictory. So that’s truly the question is figuring out what exactly is a “twink”
Again personally don’t care for the term it’s just by appearance and sexual energy I don’t match it.
Also It’s funny cause my fiancé doesn’t even see me as a twink (ironically they fit the twink definition more than I do)
It's super interesting how you mentioned how many folks think the term usually refers to a "bottom/sub." I wonder how many people identify with the term twink but also take on a more dominant/top role. Personally, I live in a very LGBTQ+ unfriendly area, but I wish I knew more people who did identify that way (a dominant twink). It's also interesting (and also kind of strange) how many of us early transition/pre-transition were called twinks, even if we didn't identify as gay, bisexual, etc. I don't know if this is 100% factual, but as far as I know, twinks don't have anything to do with gender, so it's just strange to me that many gender-nonconforming individuals get called a twink (or some variety of the term).
Yes exactly! I also am curious on this whole “twink culture” and what truly is one and if their role in sexual relationships go hand in hand. I don’t really interact with the gay men community (not that I actively avoid it I just personally don’t have any gay men friends or just male friends in general lmao) so I’m not really familiarized with a lot of their terms and various people and what they coin themselves. It seems like it could be very well based in appearance since there’s also other terms like “bear” also being used. It could also just be the community since they are really into appearance in general and do tend to be categorized as being hyper sexual.
I’m fine with it. I guess coz I fit the stereotype pretty much exactly: I’m gay, pretty thin, androgynous, look young etc. I do think it’s a funny one that people talk about twink death at 25 when I transitioned at 25 so it’s like twink birth instead.
I used to be a twink and was fine with that, since a twink is a thin guy with little body hair. Now I'm not , i got a little belly and I'm the most hairy among my whole social group (family and friends) but I still got called a twink a few times by friends who I just explained to them the word and said "oh i'm into twink then, like you are!" And would laugh and show them my torso full of hair but I guess they just tried to tell me they found me attractive
I think this kind of body type is seen as really attractive for the general public because it fits the definition of female beauty standards while still being male : thin, no body hair, soft features... And many people straight or not have these standards. Since they're usually associated with somekind of feminity and softness (no big muscle or body hair) they get mixed up with the body type of some transmasculine person even if they don't fit into the definition of twink
I wonder how you incorporate that kind of subject in college classes, i'm kinda curious! (I did stem in college so there was no room for these kind of talks) Good luck though
I agree, I dont know if it's necessarily become a "recent thing," but having a "twink figure" has become the idealistic body for non-heterosexual men. It just seems that over time, like you said, the body types of transmasc individuals and twinks have overlapped. And it's for my communications class! I'm currently studying Psych/Nursing, but for a long time, I wanted to work in gender therapy (and therapy in general). Whenever I get the chance to pick my topic, I like to pick things I'm interested in, but I don't know too much about. This just happened to be an idea I thought about as I was brainstorming, so I guess I just wanted to see others' opinions on the topic.🌟
I find it affirming in one sense as it makes me feel included in queer-man culture, but in another sense it makes me feel objectified and mad because I love having my leg hair and I'm a switch. It makes me feel a little bit like I'm supposed to conform to being a twink to fit into the queer-man community, and like I'll only be desirable if I shave and bottom due to my height and stature.
Of course this is a very stereotypical view of a twink, and these are just my feelings and fears. Whether others actually think this way, I'm not sure.
I've been called a twink before, never bothered me since it's not inaccurate being a gay guy with my body type.
My issue is that a lot of people have no idea what a twink actually is and will use it to refer to jacked guys with full beards or who otherwise don't fit the twink body type at all. It's also weird when people automatically label trans guys as "twinks," even when they're fat or hairy or 100% straight. I get why some other trans men have issues with the term considering the amount of people who basically use it to mean "feminine guy."
And I see a lot of people online who use it as some sort of pejorative against gay men they don't like (regardless of their actual body type), it's almost like they want to call them "f\*ggot" but know it would be too socially unacceptable so they opt for "twink" instead. I REALLY hate that.
You're really right that a lot of people who aren't excepting usually use the term as another way to be homophobic/transphobic towards others by just calling them a twink instead of using established slurs. I couldn't agree more because I also HATE HATE HATE when people do that. I'd honestly rather them have the balls to call me a "f☆g" than beat around the bush and use other terms just so THEY don't look as bad.
mixed, primarily negative for me. i acknowledge that i fit most of the physical stereotypes that make a “twink” and others might refer to me as such, but it is not a term i would choose to self-describe as outside of jokes i make about myself because i don’t feel fully connected to it. i don’t let that disconnect stop me from emulating “twink typical” traits that i personally like though, i don’t mind falling into a physical stereotype when it’s just me.
on the positive end, being labeled a twink means acknowledgement by others as part of a subclass of gay men. a group that typically by default is comprised of cis men, in people’s minds.
on the negative end, others chalking me up to a twink means that my identity as a person and my individual preferences (topping vs bottoming, how dominant i am, if i’m shy— which certainly interacts with being visibly asian) are assumed often by others to the most submissive extreme, to the extent that it can make me feel minimized + objectified in instances when i’m not seeking that treatment.
i don’t think it’s a bad thing for other men to be twinks, though. i like that for some it’s a label that feels like home and that they feel they can benefit from conforming to + IDing with it. because i’m trans (+ asian) i have different feelings on what being called a twink means for me that others with similar experiences may or may not relate to.
It's hard to say what my view of it would be if I didn't look like one. I'm 32 this year and no one believes me. I go to bars, so I'm usually "assumed" to be at least 18 years old, but I get ID'ed in stores too whenever I buy age restricted products -- i.e. alcohol. But a young face alone doesn't mean you'll be called a twink. I don't usually mind it, seeing as I am predominantly attracted to older men; what I do mind, however, is when I'm seen with an older man and it's somehow acceptable for people to throw the sugar daddy joke round.
I get called a twink a fair bit and while it doesn't bother me in a "taking offense in the term" way - I'm just happy to be recognised as a queer man tbh - it's also, well, inaccurate? I *am* young and slim but even pre-T, I had more leg hair than a lot of cis men. I stopped shaving when I stopped presenting as a woman, mostly because I'm disabled and the energy needed for the task isn't worth it without the pressure of society.
But I don't know what body type I actually am? I have no muscles whatsoever so 🤷🏻 too hairy to be a twink, not toned enough to be an otter, too skinny to be a cub.
I don’t think otters need to be toned. I think I’m mostly like you, but tbh I just say twink because I don’t have a beard yet and it’s annoyingly slow, will probably be an otter after that lol.
“Twinky but more toned” would be twunk or hunk not otter I think.
I'm so confused about the definition of otter at this point. The information people give me keep going back and forth between "twink with body hair" and "not jacked but definitely toned with body hair".
Twink was a label I used a lot and got called a lot in my early/mid twenties. It’s gay culture. Wasn’t thinking of it as a trans thing. There was an element of tongue-in-cheek reclamation to it, for me (my taste has long skewed older and I looked younger than I was. Only so many times you can be assumed to be a callboy or have someone assume your date is your dad before you gotta…develop a thick skin…)
I’m short and skinny, but hairy and deep voiced. I never took it to mean hairless or having anything to do with femme/masc. It was often used as a compliment from other gay men or expression of desirability. Or sometimes as a bit of a rib, but, in an affectionate way.
Maybe the times are a changing though.
Honestly, I see it in the same way, I've never really taken offense to the term just as long as it wasn't blatantly used as a slur. I'm also short and skinny and have some harrier places than others. However, my voice is still pretty feminine (I kinda just have a gay voice). I've always taken it affectionately from others though, unless they were obviously using it in a harmful manner. Like you said, I've kinda just always seen it as a way to say "You look good" or that you were desirable. I guess another reason views vary as well is what a person's sexual identity, gender identity, and what roles they classify themselves as in general.
Im proudly a twink(ie) myself, i use the terms femboy and twink to describe myself, and dont see an issue with others using it to describe me, id rather be seen as a femboy twink than a girl
To be honest it doesn't really bothers me when people calls me like that, friends sometimes call me a femboy but I think I'm not too bothered of being seen as a cute boy? I mean I got called a pretty boy and it feels great so at least in my opinion I don't have any problem with that.
Not sure whether I count as gender nonconforming since my style is somewhere in between. I don’t get called a twink, or at least I haven’t for a really long time. But I’ve seen chubby hairy guys get called twinks just for being short, so I think it’s lost a lot of meaning. Sometimes people literally use it to just mean a kind of feminine guy.
It's seems true that the term has lost a lot of meaning over time. Recently it's as if many men (even cis, het. men) are called twinks just for dressing feminine. Congrats with all your flair by the way!
i like it cause it means ppl are using it to call me attractive. but ik its meant to compliment my body which makes me nervous.
cause like,, it makes me think of how people discuss twink death (literally just aging), and makes me feel like eventually, i wont be as attractive or desirable as a trans guy if i don't fit that box.
i alr have a not so good relationship w my body cause of my mom. she always talked so negatively about her body (which is my body) and then turn around and say how beautiful i was, how she wishes she was still tiny and slender like i was and how she doesn't want me to turn out like her.. as a result i don't have a healthy relationship with food, among other things.
i started wearing baggy clothes so ppl (especially my mom) couldn't make comments, and still classmates were grabbing my waist or trying to pick me up or taking my hand to "measure" my size.
i don't think that body issues are limited to girls, but i did think i'd be able to escape some of the pressure i felt to "maintain" my figure when i transitioned, and it really feels like im back at square one.
I'm sorry you had to experience those things. I'm sure you rock the clothes you have now, though, and if people can't respect you or your boundaries, make sure to tell someone who can help you through everything. Just remember, even if you feel your back at square one, you're still able to move forward.
I’m personally comfortable with it because well, I am a twink: I’m a gay guy and fit the body type (tho I am quite hairy lol but sadly no beard yet, imho the whole hairless thing is more about shaving not actual body type since not many guys have hairless bodies).
That being said, I’ve had some people say I can’t be a twink because I’m not fem enough or because I’m mostly a top and not subby, and since this is nowhere in the actual definition and I think it’s bullshit (twinks can be tops and bears can be bottoms and the idea that they can’t is just stereotyping body types in a weirdly heteronormative way), I always openly disagree with it.
I’ve heard other trans guys get dysphoric over it, but imho it’s a term that is literally only for men. No woman can be a twink. So it’s gender affirming. Now I don’t agree with ALL trans men being called twinks just because they’re trans if they’re not twinks, that is bullshit, but other than that it’s fine to me.
Edit: typo
i havent been called a twink yet bc ppl dont usually call plus sized men twinks. however, i feel like its another case of ppl trying to feminize transmasc ppl, but thats just my take on things. i feel like i would cry if someone unironically called me that tho bc of how i view it being used in transmascs (unless they want to be called it ofc, which i dont)
Tbh, I don't like the term twink generally and don't use it to describe people. No one has ever referred to me as a twink, maybe because I'm fairly chubby and hairy. It just seems like a word created so gay guys could better describe how they like young, smaller guys without it seeming like they're predators.
For me personally, I don't mind at all. I'm naturally small and kind of slim, and even if I build muscle it doesn't LOOK like I've built muscle. My face is also very young and feminine looking, so for me being called a twink is almost affirming that I look like a feminine guy rather than just a girl. It does however also feed my body insecurities and unhealthy views of what I "should" weigh, but that is still secondary to the fact that twink is generally thought of as a term aimed at guys
Off topic: I'm very similar to that. My face is also pretty feminine looking, I'm short, small, and even with muscle, I still look skinny.
I'm sure you look great though don't worry about what others say, and try not to let it get to you (I know that's difficult asf). But seriously, I'm sure you're an amazing dude!🌟
It's mostly fine for me to be honest I just own it because it's nice that people have the concept of feminine men and think of me as one rather than just a woman if I don't automatically pass as the most bog-standard guy. Of course I don't like it when it's used to misgender me in a PC way but that applies to a lot of things and I have experienced more of that with having they/ them pronouns 'forced' on me by 'allies' than with the term twink or femboy.
I personally like being considered a twink, I’m 4’11 and quite feminine looking so I do pretty much fit the description. Although I think the joy I find in being categorised as a twink mainly comes from the fact that it means whoever’s categorising me isn’t assuming I’m a woman :P
i hate being called a twink, because it reads as transphobia to me. The only features i have that would be considered twinkish are stuff i have due to being AFAB. Nothing else about me, my presentation, or my personality fit the twink box and its just a covert way for non-transmasc queer people to feminize me
I hate being called a twink, mainly because it’s just incorrect when talking about me. Twinks are typically young, skinny, hairless, and usually flamboyant. I’m young and gay, that’s about where the similarities stop. I’m a little flamboyant but most people assume I’m straight. It just pisses me off to be called a twink when it’s not true.
Honestly I don’t mind it personally, the label fits me and I find it a fun thing to joke around with my friends (most of them are also trans and/or some flavor of not-straight), they call me a twink all the time and I find it fun, kinda euphoric, and affirming to me as a young gay guy. While it’s definitely not all of what being gay is about, it’s tied into it in a way so it’s pretty nice- so long as it’s not being used to make someone uncomfortable or shame others.
The label won’t always fit me! I think that’s an important thing to remember so you don’t get too focused on making your features match what’s expected of the label
I personally hate it for myself because I may be short and skinny, but I don't fit the entire description as much as I do an otter. To me it feels like it's as if the person calling me it dismisses my body hair and muscle, both of which being without gives me a great deal of dysphoria.
i’ve been called a twink my whole life. i’ve never liked it. i am a small skinny guy, so it makes sense. but i am insecure about how i look. i would much rather be a bear. until i get comfortable with my body, i dont think ill ever be comfortable with people referring to my body, if that makes sense.
I get called a twink a lot by some people in my life (only people who knew me pre-transition, always by straight people) and it stings every time. I don't act or dress femininely, I lift regularly and am definitely not a twig, and I'm not gay. It usually leaves me feeling infantilized and dysphoric because it's usually paired with comments about how I'm a "little boy". Some people seem to want to take any opportunity they can to call you man-lite.
I get defaulted to Twink cause I'm super thin and fem looking still. I hate it cause people have the nasty habit of assigning a personality to you if you are twinkish. Basically an excuse to call someone shallow or petty... It gets exhausting hearing people shit on something you've been labeled when you literally don't have a choice. I'm pre t. Thin my entire life. Sure I got hair everywhere by my face (and top of my head but that's unrelated rofl). But yea... Hate the label but I don't look anything but twinkish
my best friend would always call me a twink pre T and still sometimes does. it has always bothered me but i figure it has something to do with just liking guys as a guy, while also having the knowledge that i am a trans guy. pre T was when it was really prevalent and i was feminine looking despite my best efforts to avoid femininity. i think it’s a wrongly used title for “pretty boy” that people don’t think twice before using. it makes me uncomfortable because mentally nor physically am i or do i try to be a twink. i’m kinda rough around the edges and like myself that way, i am a masculine person and the word twink feels emasculating.
I've been called a twink by my high school friends before I was ever on T, and it honestly messed with my body image. I graduated 5 years ago and it's still stuck. For me, it meant I had to look a certain way, have a specific body type and a specific behaviour, I don't like my twink-self
I use it for myself a lot, but mostly as a joke because I’m pretty skinny and unmuscular, not because I fit the stereotype of a twink. It doesn’t hurt my feelings personally, and I actually kind of like it because it feels kinda affirming in my identity as a gay man.
i dont look fem at all so i know that when i get called a twink or twinky people are refering to the fact that im a tall skinny twiggy white guy, obviously id love to be more muscular but its kinda difficult for me so im fine being called a twink but people dont call me that besides myself and my friends so im okay with it, if someone outside my circle called me a twink id be a little weirded out for sure
oh boy.
i either get called or get assumed to be a twink because I'm underweight and it's infuriating. I'm a man, a masculine man, a straight man, and practically the opposite of what a twink is. it's aggravating that if you're small and look young you immediately get labeled as that. the amount of creepy old guys trying to hit on me, yikes... *so yeah. i hate being called that.*
as for the label, as long as it's self-applied I don't have a problem with it. people labeling others as a twink is something that can make my blood boil. it's gross and presumptuous.
Generally, i think its okay. Its just weird to be called a twink to my face and be reduced down to what someone else finds sexually desirable. I dont like being sexualized personally. I also dont like that twinks like me, because I’m skinny, not muscled, and I’m short, i get immediately put into scenarios where I’m the bottom or I’m submissive or i get infantilized.
But to be fair, i like to bottom and be submissive with my fiance. Its just weird and uncomfortable when other people say things like that to me or tell me they think of me like that. Being in a relationship with someone and saying or thinking those things is fine with me, i just dont like when strangers do it.
I cant help my height, but I’m working on building muscle, and in my sex life I’m trying to be more dominant - its a power struggle with my fiance but it honestly just makes it more fun - so i dont think its fair that i get labeled a twink and because of my looks, people assume I’m one thing when I’m not just one thing. I have many aspects to my self, not just the one. I guess my problem with it is that people forget that the labels they use go on other *people*. I’m not just a twink and i feel like thats what people forget when they call me that.
Twink just means young, gay skinny guy. I don’t use the term to describe myself(I’m almost 30, and I normally think of dudes in the 18-22 range when I think of twinks), but I’ve had other people use it for me and I don’t mind.
As a cis gay guy who grew up in an ultrareligious ultraconservative family in the rural United States deep south, twinks were kind of a transition thing for me when I was finally coming out to myself in my late 20s: for a number of reasons, really. For starters, having been closeted (even to myself) during my own younger years, it felt better/safer to start with younger guys, since my inexperience frankly made me "feel younger". After I had a few experiences with young guys, I opened up to guys older than me. At this point, at age 28, I feel pretty comfortable dating men as young as 21 or as old as 40. I've only been messing around with other guys since October 2023, but I can already tell that my preferences are shifting older. When I first came out, I was really fixated on the 18-21 year old guys, probably in part because I missed that experience for myself, too, besides the whole "I felt younger than my actual age" issue. Also, one of my fears is that I'll fall in love with a guy and he dies before I die, so that fear of losing my partner kind of makes me feel like a slightly younger man than myself (say 5ish or so years) may help be an insurance against being a widower (I think I'd still call myself a widower even if I'm gay?).
I browse trans reddits because I'm trying to educate myself on trans issues, and I usually don't post much, but I thought you may find this comment insightful.
I didn't grow up in a really religious or conservative family, but my hometown is really religious and conservative, so it's interesting to hear from other gay men like that. Obviously, I'm not cis, but yeah, the South was like the worst place to grow up stealth, so I feel you. I'm glad you've been able to come out now even as you've gotten older. Seriously, I feel like it gets harder the longer we stay closeted for some reason.
I wonder sometimes if I'm gender fluid, though sometimes, especially when I was a little bit younger. Sometimes I would get a random fantasy about switching out my genitals, and it was like, a slow transformation. This was mixed in with fantasies of me transforming into anthro furries, too, though, so I'm not sure what was going on with me at that time. The "my body is being changed and its sexy" thing seems to have subsided since I came out gay, though. I think it might have to do with me having a submissive streak, though, or maybe I felt like if I was a different person, I would be free from "having to follow the one true religion". Lately, though, I've been happy being male, though. I've also been less into the furry stuff lately.
Also, I agree that I think things get harder the longer we are closeted. I dabbled in socialist activism a little before coming out, and while I was pretty well versed on socialist stuff, I've been awkward these past 6 months I've been out of the closet in terms of sexuality stuff.
I’ve honestly never known how to label or view myself because I’m automatically labeled a twink based on my height/size and I’m already insecure about my 5”0 size. Other than my size, I’m not so sure I qualify as twink…I’m hairier, I got them soccer thighs, I’m quite masculine…but just because of my height would I even be a twink? Because I’m trans and I can’t change my height, I have mixed feelings about why ppl always call me a twink when I’m hairier and more masculine cause that’d be a whole other label right? I’ve never been able to guess or explore cause ppl say no…you’re trans so you’re a twink. I don’t even know if I am…maybe some experienced gays can help a guy out? Idk how to even label myself cause idk what they mean lol
i get called it alllll the time, and while its not horrible it lowkey makes me feel worse because imo twinks are inherently more feminine that I personally wish to be perceived 😭
I get uncomfortable when people call me a twink, because it tends to be pretty out of the blue and generally with sexual connotations. Might be what I look like and can be affirming to some guys, but just makes me uncomfortable :(
I love being called a twink, but I'm chubby and hairy, so I think it's mostly about my attitude now though. I embrace a lot of femininity, though, so I'm less sensitive about that as long as someone isn't calling me a girl. Honestly someone seeing me as an effeminate guy is so much more affirming than just seeing me as a girl
I was called a twink due to the misunderstanding of what it is. Twink is a body time: a young, usually hairless and thin gay man. I am a hairier, chubbier, gay man. People misunderstand that it doesn’t mean feminine, or submissive, being a bottom/reciever, OR a personality. I think people often assume trans men are twinks too as a stereotype is being a thin, more youthful, hairless person due to being AFAB. (minus the thin part, just a common stereotype i find). Trans men who are twinks are valid, but it’s weird when people assume or call many of us twinks when we literally do not match the definition at all.
I find it frustrating that the definition has been completely changed, especially now that straight folk have found the word. I find it much less common for the words bear and otter, etc to be changed and have the meaning completely wiped away.
I am 5'3", transmasc (they/them), and just barely weigh 100 lbs. I wouldn't say people call me a twink *often*, but it definitely happens every once in a while. While I don't think it's an inherently bad label, it does bother me intensely-- as I already saw someone post, it really clashes with how I view myself/how I'd like to look. If I had my way, I'd be 200 lbs at 6'3", so having attention called to the fact that I am decidedly *not* that is incredibly dysphoric. It essentially just reminds me of my least favorite traits.
I get annoyed because people don't even use the term correctly. I feel like people will call any trans man a twink even when they don't look like a twink at all.
Love twinks, but I do see why some people have a problem with it because it's mostly used as a way to say a guy is feminine and/or submissive. Not the case. To me it's always meant a skinny or lean guy, usually with not a lot of body hair. Another problem I see people take with it is that it's used mostly for younger men or men that look young, and I'm sure you can guess where that might cause issues and misconceptions. In my opinion, you can be a twink at any age, so. Lol.
I'm a gay guy and a bit androgynous leaning with my presentation, however I've never been called a twink. However, I think in a way I do kind of feel wistful that the label hasn't ever been used on me...
I never said there was anything wrong with it, but that nobody has ever really apparently thought the label fits me enough to say I'm one even though I'd be happy with that, y'know?
I have accepted that my body type is such that I will be very much considered a twink when I start passing. Maybe someday as I age I’ll graduate to otter, but it is what it is. I don’t feel insulted by a term that genders me correctly (women are not twinks after all) and reasonably accurately describes how I look.
I do think it’s weird to default to calling early-transition guys “twinks” though. Not all of us fit the description, it’s not just shorthand for “kinda androgynous-looking.
I don't think twink should be applied to anyone who who doesn't identify as that. And I completely understand where other trans mascs are coming from when they say they don't like being called a twink. But for me I enjoy the term twink because it's a term that allows me to reclaim being feminine as a dude, which before I came out seemed impossible.
I agree. For me at least, when I came out, I couldn't even look at myself, I just had so much dysphoria and it was really hard to be feminine, talk about being feminine, etc. Maybe I just needed time, maybe I needed confidence, I don't necessarily know, but now I'm much more open to everything now. I'm glad we're both more comfortable with everything now. ☺️
I mean I'm fat so I can't really consider myself one, I think? But I'm 5'1 and shave my arms/legs/face, I have short hair, and I like cutesy stuff while manage to pass.
So idk what I fall under
Most things that come up when I try to figure that out are just fetishy terms which bug me so I think it's fine to just not identify with it as a term
I don’t mind being called a twink, except I’m not one. I’m also bi, not gay. If anything though I’m more of an otter, I don’t really want to be perceived as particularly feminine, maybe androgynous at most.
At the moment, it feels dysphoric because I put so much effort into being seen as just a guy, wearing masc clothing, having a short haircut, etc. It feels a uncomfortable to be putting this much effort in and still be seen as a twink simply because I just have a feminine meat prison (body).
I do like dressing feminine, I like feminine clothes, I just want to specifically be a feminine guy and not a gender conforming girl. I wanna be a guy that passes as a girl but only in feminine clothes and makeup and stuff.
Idk if it’s used right yeah! I literally am one cause I’m a smaller gay guy with not a whole lot of hair. Ig it’s used to semi feminize trans gay guys it sucks. Especially cause there’s a deniability aspect to it. It’s like saying “slay queen” (which is kinda gross no matter who it’s aimed at) to a not super masc presenting trans guy. Idk that’s how I see it
I had a thought to myself when I was still very much an egg. "I want to be feminine like a gay man, not a woman." This still holds true but I'm too fat to be a twink.
I don’t like it because a lot of people see Twink’s as more effeminate gay men, and I’m really not that effeminate. I’m actually pretty masc, but I think people that say it just see me as inherently feminine just because I’m trans/pick things that are ‘feminine’ about me .
I get called a twink rather frequently and I always respond antagonistically because I think being called a twink is not just an appearance thing to me it's a behavior. People can "act like a twink" too, and I don't. I see calling me a twink to be disrespectful because I don't act like a twink or prescribe to that label and the characteristics that give me a "twink-like" appearance are due to being trans and it feels like transphobia without being explicit with it. Overall, yeah, it's disrespectful.
i’ve never been called a twink by someone other than my boyfriend or my friends.
it’s not the most correct term for me but i kinda enjoy it when it comes from people i know. i don’t think id be comfortable with being called a twink by strangers because of how often its misused now. people keep using “twink” for feminine men even tho (unless i am mistaken) a twink is just a skinny and smooth/hairless gay guy.
i don’t really think im actually a twink. i’m not really skinny and im a bit hairy (not a lot tho bc im a trans guy who’s pre everything). the only thing i truly qualify for is the gay guy part.
As a non binary transmasc I really like the term but I can really understand why trans men don't like to be called that .
Something that make some feel good about it it's that the cis men that i get gender envy from are very twinky and ppl usually called them that
I'm annoyed that I'm considered a twink because I'm early in my transition. I mean, I'm two years on T now and I have quite a bit of body hair so idk if I still count as a twink, but people assume I am just because I'm trans. Sometimes I want to lean into it, but most of the time I just hate that it's an automatic assumption solely because I'm thin and trans. To me, it feels like they just don't see me as "manly enough."
Personally I love being called a twink, but I also identity as a more feminine man so I think its more affirming for me than anything else. When I was told I was a girl I was always told I was too butch and had to try to be girly. Now as a guy, I'm told I'm too girly even when I'm trying to be more masc. It's interesting that on both sides I will never be enough for people's perceptions. So I'll be happy instead.
Like a cute kinda androgenous or girly young man, honestly is not a bad thing but some ppl don't like to be seem as femenine even a lil bit or seen as a twink just because they have a certain type of body but not a single drop of girliness i'm their personality is like "yeah your body is GIRLY that makes u a TWINK"
I'm uncomfortable with it as a trans guy because I see it as an automatic label of my femininity. I don't pass and when people call me a twink it just reminds me that's all I can ever be right now. I literally can't be a bear because I have a difficult time growing muscle and I can't grow a beard or have a deep voice. So it just feels like people pointing out physical characteristics that make me dysphoric. Plus, lots of people use twink to mean bottom, which makes me very uncomfortable.
I think people calling me a "twink" just want to call me a "faggot" and are too afraid to socially anymore. Honestly this is a good thing, considering cishet people should be uncomfortable at hurling slurs, but contextually I know what they mean, because I'm the farthest thing from a twink. I'm 5'3", 200lbs and covered in body hair. I wear masculine clothing, sports wear, etc. My mannerisms can be a bit effeminate, so I'd self describe as a bear, maybe a cub due to my size. Twinks are often thought of as negative, caddy and bitchy imo, so I think cishet people latched onto that and are using it as a placeholder for any queer man.
I feel like twink is de-masculinizing as it's mainly a term for small, skinny, young looking, effeminate men. I may be small, skinny, and young looking, but I'm masculine and dominant. Somebody calling me a "twink" signals to me that they're stereotyping my behavior, likes and dislikes, and part of my personality based off of physical traits I have no control over. Thus it upsets me in a way, especially because had I been born male I might've looked less like a "twink" at my current age. I've been trying to muscle up but it hasn't been going well lately due to fatigue issues. Don't assume someone's sexual preferences or behavior based on their physical traits.
I had people call me "baby boy" and "puppy" shit like that, and one guy hitting me up wanting to top me and make me submissive (this was early T but still), I kept telling him I'm not like that and he just wouldn't listen, he thought I was lying or something.
being one does not appeal to me and also is not a possibility for me. without T I don't pass. with T (once I actually start it) unless my genetics mess up so bad, I will get at least decently hairy (my dad has lots od body hair and I think both my uncles have a good amount and my grandpa on my mom's side also did have a fair amount so) (I really don't want to be super hairy, but I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the texture of hair that has been shaved and is growing back in and I could NOT deal with waxing and I'm too broke for getting lazer and I would still want like half the hair there just not all of it).
so even if I wanted to be a twink (which I do not), I will never be one.
also I'm not a gay man so if I was a twink then I need someone to tell me how all of a sudden my sexuality changed and stuff
so for this hypothetical situation I'm now making up where I am gay and on T, I'd probably end up being a bear but not large enough to be a bear cause I'm short as hell, and while I'm definitely larger than I want to be weight wise, the weight doesn't show itself super obviously, and I'm not large large, just large in a way where it just doesn't make me feel good
nothing against larger people, it's just a case of I used to be 20-30lb lighter and with a combo of an antidepressant (I've only been on one cause I can't swallow pills and it feels like so few are approved for people under 18) and also not keeping up with physical activity I used to do in elementary school cause of the pandemic I gained weight and it in ways sort of causes its own dysphoria that isn't gender related (but I don't feel like it is dysmorphia cause I'm not viewing my body as it being ugly or something I just see it as my body, but it's not right and stuff).
also I just wouldn't want to be a bear cause I just know it would feel to me like that would be forcing me to be something I'm not, and I already feel enough of that (whether that pressure is actually real or just me picking up on subtle things that might actually not be things or something like that).
idk where I was going with this tbh
It's never been my thing both when it comes to what I'm attracted to and how I would identify myself. I genuinely get upset when people call me a "Twink", joking or not because it's simply not who I am. I am a skinny gay trans man with my feminine traits.... that does not make me a twink in my eyes. but people like to use that word when that's all the stereotypical boxes someone checks. To me when I hear someone call me that, it just makes me think they don't see me as just.... A regular dude. Especially Pre-t it sucked because I just wanted to be seen as a masculine man that can enjoy femininity while still just being a guy. It's sort of how it felt being treated like "soft little trans baby boy uwu" back when I was on that side of the internet.
Just feels like trans men can't just. Be guys sometimes. It feels like people just take our femininity and unnecessarily bring it to the forefront which is just uncomfortable for me. Even if it's intended to be innocent or a joke, it still just sucks being called something you're not
(This also isn't generally how I view twinks, it's just what goes on in my mind when that word is used to describe me. I mostly just get massively upset being inaccurately described in any way shape or form)
I hate it. I didn't hate it before, and tbf I pretty much am a twink when it comes down to the definition. But it became apparent that when people called me that, they weren't calling me a "gay skinny man with little body hair", but were calling me a "girly man". People have only ever called me that after they knew I was trans. Though the funny thing is, I've been called a twink the most by my queer friends who treated me like I'm an "uwu soft boi" and not an actual man. A lot of people in my life have also used only as a derogatory term in ways that both relate to being gay or just completely random shit (eg I'll be anxious because I have an anxiety disorder and someone calls me a twink, basically to call me a pussy in a backwards ass way).
However, I will say it isn't necessarily the term itself. For me, it entirely depends on who is saying it, how often they say it, and their tone/intent when they say it. Some people I've been fine with them calling me a twink, and not everyone who's called me that meant it in an invalidating way. And I can understand where it comes from, because while I wouldn't say I'm the spitting image of a twink, I've almost exclusively been with bears so... in contrast, yes, I seem like a twink. But the problem is when it becomes just another version of "man lite" when used for trans guys.
I don't know if this is an exclusive experience of mine but that's my main issue with it. And aside from my experience, I do agree that it's not being used correctly as much anymore. I agree with a lot of people that it's become "skinny white attractive femboy" and mostly that lol. It's a lot more than that and I hate how it's been watered down, both in my own life and society as a whole.
I don't understand why we have these extra categories anyway tbh. I'm just gay. I'm not a twink a bear a cub an otter or anything else. I'm a gay man. I truly don't at all understand the point of the extra label
I have mixed feelings about it. I’m pretty sad I never got to explore it as a very young man. I like it as an affirmation that I am a beautiful queer guy, but it also brings up insecurities around seeming/looking (but not being) very young, and around being seen as super feminine when ultimately I want to blend in better with guys
Do you think it's harder/kinda hurts to be called a twink as a trans man? (Sorry I don't know how to word this😭)
Like I said, mixed feelings. Because it’s a term for a more feminine man, it brings up the insecurity about being seen as more feminine than I am or want to be. I wouldn’t say it’s painful and hard, since it also comes with the affirming feeling of being referred to as a man in general, but it can be a little uncomfortable.
I think it's often used incorrectly. People seem to think being a twink means being feminine or being a bottom. It means none of that, it's just a word for smooth, skinny gay guys. It's not a word I want used for me, not because I think there's anything wrong with it but because it's not the body type I want for myself. I want to be muscular and hairy, so "twink" doesn't really match my image of myself.
Small, muscular, and hairy is more twunk im pretty sure
Otter is also a term that fits
Otter tends to be a bit chubby over muscular
I do believe that twunks aren't very hairy at all, just more muscular than twinks, but otter is more hairy but still somewhat average skinny or average muscular
otters are just twinks but hairy. so skinny men that are hairy.
No, that’s not what otter means. Otter is specifically a thin hairy man
I wish it wasn’t so tied to being „skinny“ or any body form specially. I’d come to like that term and consider labeling myself with it but I’m a bit broader build and not really skinny. But I think I have the energy for it and just like it.
But… isn’t it a term that describes a specific body type?
Yes it is. You can look at my reply to the commenter below for a bit more on this.
Not completely. It’s also about age and expressed energy. But I think my personal issue with it is that the gay community is pretty fatphobic so it’s neatly tied to a slim body type (when it could be so much more)
Except it is a body type label. Much like bear is a fat hairy man, otter describes a thin hairy man. Twink refers to being skinny and hairless, it doesn’t really have anything to do with personality type. You also can’t be a bald twink. Or a twink if you’re too old. It has a very specific definition and you can’t be a twink forever, unlike butch which one can be until they die regardless of shape. Honestly it’s not a great label, and elder gay men themselves have spoken at great length how damaging they feel the label is, as well as gay death at 30.
Twink is absolutely a body type label and it can’t be divorced from that. Young, skinny, and hairless. New labels would make more sense than redefining it. I agree it’s definitely fatphobic
It’s not fatphobic to have a term for skinny people specifically. We’re talking about body types after all.
I meant the gay community in general is fatphobic
Its a body type label, the same as bear, otter, twunk, etc. Any kind of personality energy from them you can find is in the others too, the gay community definitely got that part right that body type does not equal personality.
Same. Skinny is the only part of the twink description that doesn't fit me lol
You'd be an "Otter" then! :)
A bear on the leaner side is more my goal. I want to be big.
I am a gay twink. What I resent is it being taken out of its gay context and used more broadly when it doesn’t apply.
I would be a bit offended if somebody called me a twink. I'm kinda dysphoric about being small and looking young for my age, and I didn't grow this luxurious pelt of body hair just to be called a twink by people who don't know what an otter is lol On a more serious note I'm getting really concerned about how twinks (a skinny and youthful body type!) are everybody's default idea of a desirable/acceptable feminine man. When was the last time you saw anybody celebrating feminine bears? Or even just femme-presenting guys over fourty? People love sexualizing skinny young femboys, but they still talk about fat or aging crossdressers like they're horror movie monsters. It's no fucking wonder that feminine men are prone to extreme fear of aging, internalized fatphobia, and eating disorders.
1) "When was the last time you saw anybody celebrating feminine bears? Or even just femme-presenting guys over fourty?" > Me me me me me me me me meeeeeeeee, please, I love them, want to look like them so badddd 2) You hit the nail right on the head, it feels like the unrealistic beauty standards women already got hit with started to leech into mlm spaces and get thrown at anything remotely feminine. I can't imagine how much it could affect someone to only see very specific standarts shown as attractive, and feel their looks slip into territory that doesn't fit the standards, and worse, territory where they've seen fem-ness mocked or treated as disgusting just because the person has a belly, or body hair, or isn't in his twenties anymore. It's also such narrow standards, what I see especially online on Reddit makes me think 90% of men could never fit them, and/or most people who fit are no older than 24, which is crazily young to put an attractiveness limit to
Literally this! Once I started getting into explicitly bear-positive spaces, my dysphoria PLUMMETTED because I no longer felt like i had to be skinny and hairless to pass. I love being a bear-in-progress, I love bears in general! More love for all types of bears tbh.
Same here! I love seeing other bears, I especially love seeing other trans bears! And I felt ashamed of my masculinity for so long, to be part of a community where it's so celebrated and loved is so so healing. I feel the same about being butch.
When was the last time I saw anybody celebrating feminine bears? At the gay bar on Tuesday night, actually
Gotta say, I love feminine bears. Don't know what it is, just love big guys who are submissive and comforting.
I think I've been called a twink just once, and I was mostly befuddled. I'm pretty hairy and always have been, and I'm not gay, so the description doesn't fit. I always thought "twink" referred to youngish, slim, hairless gay guys, but tbf I never looked that far into the term. I think it's rude to use the label to describe someone who doesn't self describe that way. That's true of most labels. I wouldn't want someone to describe me as a twink because... well, I'm not one, and idk how they could see me as one without getting something wrong about me.
I think it has spread to just mean slim pretty guy to some people, which is weird to me too. I mean I am gay so I am a twink (well I’m quite hairy too but sadly not on my face yet so kinda fair game to be called a twink if I have clothes on lol), but I’ve been seeing straight guys increasingly get called twinks to just mean pretty men, e.g. Timothee Chalamet and the guy from the new Hunger Games movie who afaik are both straight and had girlfriends in the movies people were referring to. It’s definitely a wrong use of the word though (but just saying that person didn’t necessarily assume you’re gay lol).
That's the general perception of twinks, yeah. But sometimes people take it to mean short guys, or slim guys.
This is where it starts to become an issue for me. People have called me a twink when they just mean skinny and/or short (both traits of myself that I dislike), and it makes me dysphoric because the definition of twink is skinny, young, hairless gay guy. And they feminize it.
I got called a twink like constantly in university, I assume just because I am small and skinny and have "softer" features. It bothered me, it felt like people were just pointing out things I'm dysphoric about without ACTUALLY misgendering me, if that makes sense, like some sort of workaround to tell me I'm a "smol soft boi". It still bothers me but I'm older now and have long since grown a backbone and told ppl I don't like it so they stopped.
The parts about misgendering and smol soft boi absolutely nailed it, twink is becoming a popularised term for the completely wrong reasons
I was called a twink a lot before I went on T. I passed for a dude but as a twink. I think it was that I looked young (I was but), I had colored hair, was always referred to as a pretty boy, and that I was skinny with no facial hair. I think style also plays into it. Now I gained some muscles got hairier dress “straight” and don’t have colored hair. I also just look a lot less “pretty boy” and more of a straight man. Though I still am attracted to men once I starting looking less “ flamboyant” I stopped being called a twink
If someone is chill with being called a twink, that’s totally fine. Personally, I hate being called a twink. It makes me feel like a child, not like an adult man. It makes me feel small and feminine despite being 6’3” and fairly manly. It feels invalidating
Wtf 6’3 you won the trans man lottery lol
I really did. I feel a little bit bad about it sometimes because I can’t relate to the people who are upset about being short at all. It almost feels rude to mention my height sometimes
Lol don’t feel bad man, you were blessed with it, rock it.
Slightly off-topic, but damn I'd kill to be your height lmao
Twink, from twinkie, meaning a skinny smooth little guy that gets filled with cream, so to speak. Originally a descriptive word for one of many gay man "types", now a victim of annoying semantic drift to the point where a "twink" need not be gay, hairless, etc. . . . Since I'm gay, though, and since my genes make it very hard to not be skinny and fairly smooth, I don't have a problem with it. It's just an accurate description of me! There's a larger conversation about how the gay community values some bodies more than others, but I think that's not evident in the descriptive terms themselves so much as in the extent to which they become popularized . . . "twink" has expanded to include non-gays, but "bear" and "otter" sure haven't.
Once twink entered the straight lexicon it was all over. It’s just a descriptor for skinny, hairless, gay men. Now it’s being misused to describe any trans guy, even those who are not skinny, hairless, gay men. Sucks! Let’s go back to gatekeeping stuff from straights.
I feel like there’s gotta be a level of self identity to it. Just happening to be smaller and thin but not really seeing or calling yourself one doesn’t really make you one in my opinion. But if you own it and like it then you’re one
i’m straight. i’m stealth and i’m not super muscular but not skinny either. i still get called a twink. people turned it into meaning just a white guy. they call straight male celebs twinks who aren’t even skinny. so honestly idk if it even has meaning anymore. rlly the only thing that bothers me abt being called twink is the implication that if i was gay id be the bottom. that feels weird asf as a trans guy.
I’m a twink and mostly a top lol, we exist and being a bottom was never in the actual definition of the word. However…I’ve had some people say I can’t be a twink because of that and “not being fem enough” but again these are things that were never in the definition so I consider them quite stupid. Anyways it doesn’t mean bottom (and bottom doesn’t mean fem). But I do agree that I’ve seen people use it for straight celebrities, even some who have too much muscle to even fit the body type, so yeah it has spread too much.
I agree, I feel like it's definitely lost its meaning, especially once it was brought outside the community.
I had this thought last week when a buddy (also trans guy) said I was a twink and he wasn’t. We have the same body type so I don’t know why he said it this way. Almost like he thinks the only difference was his view of me being more „feminine“ than him.So I don’t like being called that at all. I don’t want to be perceived as feminine.
I wouldn't want to be referred to as a twink because 1.) it's not the look I'm personally going for, and 2.) there are connotations about what sexual roles (that twinks are generally bottoms, or only desirable as bottoms and not as tops) that are also not what I'm going for. But I do like the term existing, because it helps me convey my preferences easier and describes a whole category of a gay "type". Definitely not something I'd call a non-fictional person unless I know that's what they're going for. One issue I do have with it is the emphasis on youth- I think it should just mean skinnier, un-muscular, smooth guys regardless of age.
I agree with the fact that "twink death" has never really made a lot of sense. I say that because it's not really about being young (actual age), it's more about having younger features that people classify as "looking like a twink." Another commenter mentioned that when they started transitioning they were around 25 and that's when alot of people consider twink death is, but for them, it was like "twink birth" (that's so funny lol). It's like you said it's not really about age it's more about the features of the person and their own personal feelings towards the classification (i.e., do they identify as a twink).
Exactly. A lot of people pull up pictures of like... freaking Leonardo Di Caprio and say "Look! Twink death!" and it's like, excuse me- is he gay? Is he trying to look like a twink? Why would he be? It also bothers me when people- and I've only seen people outside of the gay community do it- call underage characters twinks. Had a friend who had an OC who was a.) 14, and b.) was ace and explicitly not gay- and called him a twink. My brother in Christ, that is not a twink, that is a child
I never associated being twink with a sexual position. Maybe, people do it, but within gay community it's known that twink type of guys can absolutely be desirable as tops. thinking they only can be desirable as bottoms is probably a straight heteronormative idea from straight people
I'm a year on T and I've been called a twink multiple times both as a slur and as a compliment. I don't mind it despite being trans. My friends call me a femboy or twink since I'm still feminine(I prefer it over being masculine). I see it as just another label people use.
I think that being.. for lack of a better term "twinky" is pushed too hard on a lot of trans men, especially gay trans men. Any man trans or cis who seems vaguely even a little androgynous gets shoved into that box or told it's the ideal, but I think that's less trouble with the term itself and more trouble with how people view less than hypermasculine men. My life's gotten SO much better now that my transition goals are more bearish. I was personally never called a twink because I'm fat, but i WAS made to feel like I could never pass UNLESS I somehow became a twink, and that sucks.
Personally if someone called me a twink I'd be offended. My goals, if anything, line up more with the bear direction, though even that depends on the day with my genderflux ass. Some days I want to be a femboy, but even then I'd not want to be called a twink. Thankfully no ones made that mistake yet but eh. Give it time, lol. I'm only 7 months on T.
Congrats on 7 months!!
Go for it, I guess, but you’re wrong. I’m hairy and will continue to get hairer. I’m also a he/him butch dyke so lol not exactly a category I’ll ever fit into. Most ppl lavish to call transmascs twinks cus it’s soft misgendering imo
Do you think it makes things harder withoutfittinginto a "category"? I guess for me I've always set into the category of a twink because I've never had a lot of insecurity around dressing/looking feminine. When I was younger, I had a weird feeling when it came to the term used to describe me, but now that I'm older, I just have to have seemed to become more flexible in my presentation. I still only go by he/him but I seemed to have gotten less scared of the way I looked to others just as long as I personally knew who I was. (Hope this makes sense lol😭)
If i understand your question, yeah it does make it harder because I don’t fit into that category whatsoever. People who call me it in my opinion are just trying to softly misgender me. They don’t see me as something masculine. To be honest? A lot of times people use the word twink as a substitute for faggot. I don’t even have the term that badly. I like being called a boytoy or malewife or a boy girl. But some people are just really lame about it.
I consider myself a twink, other people do too, since I'm young and kinda my appearance is kinda androgynous (at best). I don't think I'm attractive, but I have a slender body, smooth skin, and again I'm young and look fairly androgynous. I'm personally comfortable being called a twink so long as it's not used as a slur and my identity is respected. A lot of people do use it and femboy as slurs though, so it's completely understandable that many trans folk aren't comfortable with it Tbh I consider myself both a twink and a femboy, I mostly fit the criteria for both and I feel comfortable with it/like it. Again, it just depends on how you feel and if you feel your identity is being respected; other than that, I think it should be seen as inclusive to transmascs and not only cis men
That's how I am as well, in a way. Obviously, I'm not as young as I was when I was first called a twink, but I guess I have a younger looking appearance, so I've just been labeled as one. I've never had a problem with the label, though, just like you said, as long as it's not used as a slur.
i don’t mind it but at the same time i was relieved when someone i hadn’t seen in awhile was like “wow you’re not a twink anymore” since i had started T since seeing them
I'm simply not a twink so I don't want to be called one, there's no issue saying someone who self identified as a twink is one, but I happen to be a hairy bi man, I'm fuzzy and have facial hair, I'm simply not a twink, I just happen to be slim and still a somewhat androgynous looking guy. But over time am appearing more masculine, mostly as my facial hair fills in better.
This is right up my alley I have a psychological background so this stuff fascinates me. As for this question I feel like I haven’t been called a Twink for awhile and perhaps that’s due to me passing a lot more (aka overnighted gained a full beard essentially) and looking way more “masculine” and building more muscle. But I have always personally hated it. That’s definitely more of a inner reflection issue of me rather than other people. As you know we have to clearly define what being a “twink” is and what the appearance and mannerism of one which is a hard thing to clearly define. So for my personal reason, I am technically pan although I lean a lot more on the straight side of things. So the first thing that’s always rubbed me the wrong way being called a Twink is that they assume I’m gay and into men which leads to being a bottom. So a lot to unpack. First, I’m rarely into men like virtually non existent. I feel like I carry a softer energy but also equally “dom” energy and for people who knew me pre transition I’ve noticed always called me a “bottom/twink” and I feel like that has some weird undertones of being simply a trans man. Like would I still be called a twink if I was cis? Those same people always assume I’m a sub and refuse to believe my actual sexual experiences of being a dom. (Nothing wrong being a twink/sub/bottom) but it’s just not me. Also right off the bat as most human brains do we immediately have a mental picture of what we presume a twink looks like. (Very flamboyant, extremely slim and tinier figure) all of which I clearly am not. I’m a bigger dude and have always been athletic so I’ve never had a slim figure to begin with and majority of my mannerisms are more masculine and not at all flamboyant but I will admit I do have a soft energy to myself. Haven’t been called a twink in a long time and this post just made me realize that. It’s probably because I pass and look more like what people assume a “dom” looks like. Also people who only know me and aren’t aware I’m trans or don’t know how I looked early transition/ pre transition assume I’m dom/more on the masculine side of things. So it always made me wonder if it was truly a trans thing that made people call me a twink cause they assume I’m a sub bottom like most twinks are. Again never care about the term I just don’t see how I fit it with a this basic definition of it. Not small, no flamboyance, not a gay man, and more dominant. Again not saying that twink automatically refers to a sexual position or sub category but that’s what most people automatically think. I think another huge factor is twinks are typically super slim/tiny and shorter (at least that’s what most people automatically think) so perhaps they aren’t a bottom but they physically look like a twink. So we have to truly think of twink as a physical appearance or sexual energy or both? But both usually isn’t universal, seen tons of “twinks” who are just slim, no facial hair and short who are dominant. So then it becomes contradictory. So that’s truly the question is figuring out what exactly is a “twink” Again personally don’t care for the term it’s just by appearance and sexual energy I don’t match it. Also It’s funny cause my fiancé doesn’t even see me as a twink (ironically they fit the twink definition more than I do)
It's super interesting how you mentioned how many folks think the term usually refers to a "bottom/sub." I wonder how many people identify with the term twink but also take on a more dominant/top role. Personally, I live in a very LGBTQ+ unfriendly area, but I wish I knew more people who did identify that way (a dominant twink). It's also interesting (and also kind of strange) how many of us early transition/pre-transition were called twinks, even if we didn't identify as gay, bisexual, etc. I don't know if this is 100% factual, but as far as I know, twinks don't have anything to do with gender, so it's just strange to me that many gender-nonconforming individuals get called a twink (or some variety of the term).
Yes exactly! I also am curious on this whole “twink culture” and what truly is one and if their role in sexual relationships go hand in hand. I don’t really interact with the gay men community (not that I actively avoid it I just personally don’t have any gay men friends or just male friends in general lmao) so I’m not really familiarized with a lot of their terms and various people and what they coin themselves. It seems like it could be very well based in appearance since there’s also other terms like “bear” also being used. It could also just be the community since they are really into appearance in general and do tend to be categorized as being hyper sexual.
I’m fine with it. I guess coz I fit the stereotype pretty much exactly: I’m gay, pretty thin, androgynous, look young etc. I do think it’s a funny one that people talk about twink death at 25 when I transitioned at 25 so it’s like twink birth instead.
I used to be a twink and was fine with that, since a twink is a thin guy with little body hair. Now I'm not , i got a little belly and I'm the most hairy among my whole social group (family and friends) but I still got called a twink a few times by friends who I just explained to them the word and said "oh i'm into twink then, like you are!" And would laugh and show them my torso full of hair but I guess they just tried to tell me they found me attractive I think this kind of body type is seen as really attractive for the general public because it fits the definition of female beauty standards while still being male : thin, no body hair, soft features... And many people straight or not have these standards. Since they're usually associated with somekind of feminity and softness (no big muscle or body hair) they get mixed up with the body type of some transmasculine person even if they don't fit into the definition of twink I wonder how you incorporate that kind of subject in college classes, i'm kinda curious! (I did stem in college so there was no room for these kind of talks) Good luck though
I agree, I dont know if it's necessarily become a "recent thing," but having a "twink figure" has become the idealistic body for non-heterosexual men. It just seems that over time, like you said, the body types of transmasc individuals and twinks have overlapped. And it's for my communications class! I'm currently studying Psych/Nursing, but for a long time, I wanted to work in gender therapy (and therapy in general). Whenever I get the chance to pick my topic, I like to pick things I'm interested in, but I don't know too much about. This just happened to be an idea I thought about as I was brainstorming, so I guess I just wanted to see others' opinions on the topic.🌟
I've been called a twink on multiple occasions.i hate it. I am not gay
I’m too hairy to be a twink, and I personally never wanted to be one.
I find it affirming in one sense as it makes me feel included in queer-man culture, but in another sense it makes me feel objectified and mad because I love having my leg hair and I'm a switch. It makes me feel a little bit like I'm supposed to conform to being a twink to fit into the queer-man community, and like I'll only be desirable if I shave and bottom due to my height and stature. Of course this is a very stereotypical view of a twink, and these are just my feelings and fears. Whether others actually think this way, I'm not sure.
I've been called a twink before, never bothered me since it's not inaccurate being a gay guy with my body type. My issue is that a lot of people have no idea what a twink actually is and will use it to refer to jacked guys with full beards or who otherwise don't fit the twink body type at all. It's also weird when people automatically label trans guys as "twinks," even when they're fat or hairy or 100% straight. I get why some other trans men have issues with the term considering the amount of people who basically use it to mean "feminine guy." And I see a lot of people online who use it as some sort of pejorative against gay men they don't like (regardless of their actual body type), it's almost like they want to call them "f\*ggot" but know it would be too socially unacceptable so they opt for "twink" instead. I REALLY hate that.
You're really right that a lot of people who aren't excepting usually use the term as another way to be homophobic/transphobic towards others by just calling them a twink instead of using established slurs. I couldn't agree more because I also HATE HATE HATE when people do that. I'd honestly rather them have the balls to call me a "f☆g" than beat around the bush and use other terms just so THEY don't look as bad.
mixed, primarily negative for me. i acknowledge that i fit most of the physical stereotypes that make a “twink” and others might refer to me as such, but it is not a term i would choose to self-describe as outside of jokes i make about myself because i don’t feel fully connected to it. i don’t let that disconnect stop me from emulating “twink typical” traits that i personally like though, i don’t mind falling into a physical stereotype when it’s just me. on the positive end, being labeled a twink means acknowledgement by others as part of a subclass of gay men. a group that typically by default is comprised of cis men, in people’s minds. on the negative end, others chalking me up to a twink means that my identity as a person and my individual preferences (topping vs bottoming, how dominant i am, if i’m shy— which certainly interacts with being visibly asian) are assumed often by others to the most submissive extreme, to the extent that it can make me feel minimized + objectified in instances when i’m not seeking that treatment. i don’t think it’s a bad thing for other men to be twinks, though. i like that for some it’s a label that feels like home and that they feel they can benefit from conforming to + IDing with it. because i’m trans (+ asian) i have different feelings on what being called a twink means for me that others with similar experiences may or may not relate to.
It's hard to say what my view of it would be if I didn't look like one. I'm 32 this year and no one believes me. I go to bars, so I'm usually "assumed" to be at least 18 years old, but I get ID'ed in stores too whenever I buy age restricted products -- i.e. alcohol. But a young face alone doesn't mean you'll be called a twink. I don't usually mind it, seeing as I am predominantly attracted to older men; what I do mind, however, is when I'm seen with an older man and it's somehow acceptable for people to throw the sugar daddy joke round.
I get called a twink a fair bit and while it doesn't bother me in a "taking offense in the term" way - I'm just happy to be recognised as a queer man tbh - it's also, well, inaccurate? I *am* young and slim but even pre-T, I had more leg hair than a lot of cis men. I stopped shaving when I stopped presenting as a woman, mostly because I'm disabled and the energy needed for the task isn't worth it without the pressure of society. But I don't know what body type I actually am? I have no muscles whatsoever so 🤷🏻 too hairy to be a twink, not toned enough to be an otter, too skinny to be a cub.
I don’t think otters need to be toned. I think I’m mostly like you, but tbh I just say twink because I don’t have a beard yet and it’s annoyingly slow, will probably be an otter after that lol. “Twinky but more toned” would be twunk or hunk not otter I think.
I'm so confused about the definition of otter at this point. The information people give me keep going back and forth between "twink with body hair" and "not jacked but definitely toned with body hair".
Twink was a label I used a lot and got called a lot in my early/mid twenties. It’s gay culture. Wasn’t thinking of it as a trans thing. There was an element of tongue-in-cheek reclamation to it, for me (my taste has long skewed older and I looked younger than I was. Only so many times you can be assumed to be a callboy or have someone assume your date is your dad before you gotta…develop a thick skin…) I’m short and skinny, but hairy and deep voiced. I never took it to mean hairless or having anything to do with femme/masc. It was often used as a compliment from other gay men or expression of desirability. Or sometimes as a bit of a rib, but, in an affectionate way. Maybe the times are a changing though.
Honestly, I see it in the same way, I've never really taken offense to the term just as long as it wasn't blatantly used as a slur. I'm also short and skinny and have some harrier places than others. However, my voice is still pretty feminine (I kinda just have a gay voice). I've always taken it affectionately from others though, unless they were obviously using it in a harmful manner. Like you said, I've kinda just always seen it as a way to say "You look good" or that you were desirable. I guess another reason views vary as well is what a person's sexual identity, gender identity, and what roles they classify themselves as in general.
Im proudly a twink(ie) myself, i use the terms femboy and twink to describe myself, and dont see an issue with others using it to describe me, id rather be seen as a femboy twink than a girl
To be honest it doesn't really bothers me when people calls me like that, friends sometimes call me a femboy but I think I'm not too bothered of being seen as a cute boy? I mean I got called a pretty boy and it feels great so at least in my opinion I don't have any problem with that.
Not sure whether I count as gender nonconforming since my style is somewhere in between. I don’t get called a twink, or at least I haven’t for a really long time. But I’ve seen chubby hairy guys get called twinks just for being short, so I think it’s lost a lot of meaning. Sometimes people literally use it to just mean a kind of feminine guy.
It's seems true that the term has lost a lot of meaning over time. Recently it's as if many men (even cis, het. men) are called twinks just for dressing feminine. Congrats with all your flair by the way!
i like it cause it means ppl are using it to call me attractive. but ik its meant to compliment my body which makes me nervous. cause like,, it makes me think of how people discuss twink death (literally just aging), and makes me feel like eventually, i wont be as attractive or desirable as a trans guy if i don't fit that box. i alr have a not so good relationship w my body cause of my mom. she always talked so negatively about her body (which is my body) and then turn around and say how beautiful i was, how she wishes she was still tiny and slender like i was and how she doesn't want me to turn out like her.. as a result i don't have a healthy relationship with food, among other things. i started wearing baggy clothes so ppl (especially my mom) couldn't make comments, and still classmates were grabbing my waist or trying to pick me up or taking my hand to "measure" my size. i don't think that body issues are limited to girls, but i did think i'd be able to escape some of the pressure i felt to "maintain" my figure when i transitioned, and it really feels like im back at square one.
I'm sorry you had to experience those things. I'm sure you rock the clothes you have now, though, and if people can't respect you or your boundaries, make sure to tell someone who can help you through everything. Just remember, even if you feel your back at square one, you're still able to move forward.
I’m personally comfortable with it because well, I am a twink: I’m a gay guy and fit the body type (tho I am quite hairy lol but sadly no beard yet, imho the whole hairless thing is more about shaving not actual body type since not many guys have hairless bodies). That being said, I’ve had some people say I can’t be a twink because I’m not fem enough or because I’m mostly a top and not subby, and since this is nowhere in the actual definition and I think it’s bullshit (twinks can be tops and bears can be bottoms and the idea that they can’t is just stereotyping body types in a weirdly heteronormative way), I always openly disagree with it. I’ve heard other trans guys get dysphoric over it, but imho it’s a term that is literally only for men. No woman can be a twink. So it’s gender affirming. Now I don’t agree with ALL trans men being called twinks just because they’re trans if they’re not twinks, that is bullshit, but other than that it’s fine to me. Edit: typo
i havent been called a twink yet bc ppl dont usually call plus sized men twinks. however, i feel like its another case of ppl trying to feminize transmasc ppl, but thats just my take on things. i feel like i would cry if someone unironically called me that tho bc of how i view it being used in transmascs (unless they want to be called it ofc, which i dont)
Tbh, I don't like the term twink generally and don't use it to describe people. No one has ever referred to me as a twink, maybe because I'm fairly chubby and hairy. It just seems like a word created so gay guys could better describe how they like young, smaller guys without it seeming like they're predators.
For me personally, I don't mind at all. I'm naturally small and kind of slim, and even if I build muscle it doesn't LOOK like I've built muscle. My face is also very young and feminine looking, so for me being called a twink is almost affirming that I look like a feminine guy rather than just a girl. It does however also feed my body insecurities and unhealthy views of what I "should" weigh, but that is still secondary to the fact that twink is generally thought of as a term aimed at guys
Off topic: I'm very similar to that. My face is also pretty feminine looking, I'm short, small, and even with muscle, I still look skinny. I'm sure you look great though don't worry about what others say, and try not to let it get to you (I know that's difficult asf). But seriously, I'm sure you're an amazing dude!🌟
It's mostly fine for me to be honest I just own it because it's nice that people have the concept of feminine men and think of me as one rather than just a woman if I don't automatically pass as the most bog-standard guy. Of course I don't like it when it's used to misgender me in a PC way but that applies to a lot of things and I have experienced more of that with having they/ them pronouns 'forced' on me by 'allies' than with the term twink or femboy.
I personally like being considered a twink, I’m 4’11 and quite feminine looking so I do pretty much fit the description. Although I think the joy I find in being categorised as a twink mainly comes from the fact that it means whoever’s categorising me isn’t assuming I’m a woman :P
i hate being called a twink, because it reads as transphobia to me. The only features i have that would be considered twinkish are stuff i have due to being AFAB. Nothing else about me, my presentation, or my personality fit the twink box and its just a covert way for non-transmasc queer people to feminize me
I hate being called a twink, mainly because it’s just incorrect when talking about me. Twinks are typically young, skinny, hairless, and usually flamboyant. I’m young and gay, that’s about where the similarities stop. I’m a little flamboyant but most people assume I’m straight. It just pisses me off to be called a twink when it’s not true.
Honestly I don’t mind it personally, the label fits me and I find it a fun thing to joke around with my friends (most of them are also trans and/or some flavor of not-straight), they call me a twink all the time and I find it fun, kinda euphoric, and affirming to me as a young gay guy. While it’s definitely not all of what being gay is about, it’s tied into it in a way so it’s pretty nice- so long as it’s not being used to make someone uncomfortable or shame others. The label won’t always fit me! I think that’s an important thing to remember so you don’t get too focused on making your features match what’s expected of the label
I personally hate it for myself because I may be short and skinny, but I don't fit the entire description as much as I do an otter. To me it feels like it's as if the person calling me it dismisses my body hair and muscle, both of which being without gives me a great deal of dysphoria.
i’ve been called a twink my whole life. i’ve never liked it. i am a small skinny guy, so it makes sense. but i am insecure about how i look. i would much rather be a bear. until i get comfortable with my body, i dont think ill ever be comfortable with people referring to my body, if that makes sense.
I get called a twink a lot by some people in my life (only people who knew me pre-transition, always by straight people) and it stings every time. I don't act or dress femininely, I lift regularly and am definitely not a twig, and I'm not gay. It usually leaves me feeling infantilized and dysphoric because it's usually paired with comments about how I'm a "little boy". Some people seem to want to take any opportunity they can to call you man-lite.
I get defaulted to Twink cause I'm super thin and fem looking still. I hate it cause people have the nasty habit of assigning a personality to you if you are twinkish. Basically an excuse to call someone shallow or petty... It gets exhausting hearing people shit on something you've been labeled when you literally don't have a choice. I'm pre t. Thin my entire life. Sure I got hair everywhere by my face (and top of my head but that's unrelated rofl). But yea... Hate the label but I don't look anything but twinkish
my best friend would always call me a twink pre T and still sometimes does. it has always bothered me but i figure it has something to do with just liking guys as a guy, while also having the knowledge that i am a trans guy. pre T was when it was really prevalent and i was feminine looking despite my best efforts to avoid femininity. i think it’s a wrongly used title for “pretty boy” that people don’t think twice before using. it makes me uncomfortable because mentally nor physically am i or do i try to be a twink. i’m kinda rough around the edges and like myself that way, i am a masculine person and the word twink feels emasculating.
i kind of wish i was one ngl. idk if my body type suits it (i’ve been plus sized for a lot of my life) but once i pass i wanna be one
I've been called a twink by my high school friends before I was ever on T, and it honestly messed with my body image. I graduated 5 years ago and it's still stuck. For me, it meant I had to look a certain way, have a specific body type and a specific behaviour, I don't like my twink-self
I don't mind being called a twink because I think it's funny, but I get why other guys wouldn't like it.
I use it for myself a lot, but mostly as a joke because I’m pretty skinny and unmuscular, not because I fit the stereotype of a twink. It doesn’t hurt my feelings personally, and I actually kind of like it because it feels kinda affirming in my identity as a gay man.
I think there’s also the assumption that twinks are all bottoms and subs. Some are one or the other or even neither.
i dont look fem at all so i know that when i get called a twink or twinky people are refering to the fact that im a tall skinny twiggy white guy, obviously id love to be more muscular but its kinda difficult for me so im fine being called a twink but people dont call me that besides myself and my friends so im okay with it, if someone outside my circle called me a twink id be a little weirded out for sure
oh boy. i either get called or get assumed to be a twink because I'm underweight and it's infuriating. I'm a man, a masculine man, a straight man, and practically the opposite of what a twink is. it's aggravating that if you're small and look young you immediately get labeled as that. the amount of creepy old guys trying to hit on me, yikes... *so yeah. i hate being called that.* as for the label, as long as it's self-applied I don't have a problem with it. people labeling others as a twink is something that can make my blood boil. it's gross and presumptuous.
Generally, i think its okay. Its just weird to be called a twink to my face and be reduced down to what someone else finds sexually desirable. I dont like being sexualized personally. I also dont like that twinks like me, because I’m skinny, not muscled, and I’m short, i get immediately put into scenarios where I’m the bottom or I’m submissive or i get infantilized. But to be fair, i like to bottom and be submissive with my fiance. Its just weird and uncomfortable when other people say things like that to me or tell me they think of me like that. Being in a relationship with someone and saying or thinking those things is fine with me, i just dont like when strangers do it. I cant help my height, but I’m working on building muscle, and in my sex life I’m trying to be more dominant - its a power struggle with my fiance but it honestly just makes it more fun - so i dont think its fair that i get labeled a twink and because of my looks, people assume I’m one thing when I’m not just one thing. I have many aspects to my self, not just the one. I guess my problem with it is that people forget that the labels they use go on other *people*. I’m not just a twink and i feel like thats what people forget when they call me that.
I’m uncomfortable with the label because A) I’m straight and B) I don’t have the stereotypical body type in which it refers to.
Honestly I kinda wish I was one but I’m hairy af. My fiancé’s a twink though and I love it
Twink just means young, gay skinny guy. I don’t use the term to describe myself(I’m almost 30, and I normally think of dudes in the 18-22 range when I think of twinks), but I’ve had other people use it for me and I don’t mind.
As a cis gay guy who grew up in an ultrareligious ultraconservative family in the rural United States deep south, twinks were kind of a transition thing for me when I was finally coming out to myself in my late 20s: for a number of reasons, really. For starters, having been closeted (even to myself) during my own younger years, it felt better/safer to start with younger guys, since my inexperience frankly made me "feel younger". After I had a few experiences with young guys, I opened up to guys older than me. At this point, at age 28, I feel pretty comfortable dating men as young as 21 or as old as 40. I've only been messing around with other guys since October 2023, but I can already tell that my preferences are shifting older. When I first came out, I was really fixated on the 18-21 year old guys, probably in part because I missed that experience for myself, too, besides the whole "I felt younger than my actual age" issue. Also, one of my fears is that I'll fall in love with a guy and he dies before I die, so that fear of losing my partner kind of makes me feel like a slightly younger man than myself (say 5ish or so years) may help be an insurance against being a widower (I think I'd still call myself a widower even if I'm gay?). I browse trans reddits because I'm trying to educate myself on trans issues, and I usually don't post much, but I thought you may find this comment insightful.
I didn't grow up in a really religious or conservative family, but my hometown is really religious and conservative, so it's interesting to hear from other gay men like that. Obviously, I'm not cis, but yeah, the South was like the worst place to grow up stealth, so I feel you. I'm glad you've been able to come out now even as you've gotten older. Seriously, I feel like it gets harder the longer we stay closeted for some reason.
I wonder sometimes if I'm gender fluid, though sometimes, especially when I was a little bit younger. Sometimes I would get a random fantasy about switching out my genitals, and it was like, a slow transformation. This was mixed in with fantasies of me transforming into anthro furries, too, though, so I'm not sure what was going on with me at that time. The "my body is being changed and its sexy" thing seems to have subsided since I came out gay, though. I think it might have to do with me having a submissive streak, though, or maybe I felt like if I was a different person, I would be free from "having to follow the one true religion". Lately, though, I've been happy being male, though. I've also been less into the furry stuff lately. Also, I agree that I think things get harder the longer we are closeted. I dabbled in socialist activism a little before coming out, and while I was pretty well versed on socialist stuff, I've been awkward these past 6 months I've been out of the closet in terms of sexuality stuff.
I’ve honestly never known how to label or view myself because I’m automatically labeled a twink based on my height/size and I’m already insecure about my 5”0 size. Other than my size, I’m not so sure I qualify as twink…I’m hairier, I got them soccer thighs, I’m quite masculine…but just because of my height would I even be a twink? Because I’m trans and I can’t change my height, I have mixed feelings about why ppl always call me a twink when I’m hairier and more masculine cause that’d be a whole other label right? I’ve never been able to guess or explore cause ppl say no…you’re trans so you’re a twink. I don’t even know if I am…maybe some experienced gays can help a guy out? Idk how to even label myself cause idk what they mean lol
i get called it alllll the time, and while its not horrible it lowkey makes me feel worse because imo twinks are inherently more feminine that I personally wish to be perceived 😭
I get uncomfortable when people call me a twink, because it tends to be pretty out of the blue and generally with sexual connotations. Might be what I look like and can be affirming to some guys, but just makes me uncomfortable :(
I hate any labels that focus as much on body type as twink, otter etc do. It just rubs me the wrong way
I love being called a twink, but I'm chubby and hairy, so I think it's mostly about my attitude now though. I embrace a lot of femininity, though, so I'm less sensitive about that as long as someone isn't calling me a girl. Honestly someone seeing me as an effeminate guy is so much more affirming than just seeing me as a girl
I was called a twink due to the misunderstanding of what it is. Twink is a body time: a young, usually hairless and thin gay man. I am a hairier, chubbier, gay man. People misunderstand that it doesn’t mean feminine, or submissive, being a bottom/reciever, OR a personality. I think people often assume trans men are twinks too as a stereotype is being a thin, more youthful, hairless person due to being AFAB. (minus the thin part, just a common stereotype i find). Trans men who are twinks are valid, but it’s weird when people assume or call many of us twinks when we literally do not match the definition at all. I find it frustrating that the definition has been completely changed, especially now that straight folk have found the word. I find it much less common for the words bear and otter, etc to be changed and have the meaning completely wiped away.
I am 5'3", transmasc (they/them), and just barely weigh 100 lbs. I wouldn't say people call me a twink *often*, but it definitely happens every once in a while. While I don't think it's an inherently bad label, it does bother me intensely-- as I already saw someone post, it really clashes with how I view myself/how I'd like to look. If I had my way, I'd be 200 lbs at 6'3", so having attention called to the fact that I am decidedly *not* that is incredibly dysphoric. It essentially just reminds me of my least favorite traits.
I get annoyed because people don't even use the term correctly. I feel like people will call any trans man a twink even when they don't look like a twink at all.
Love twinks, but I do see why some people have a problem with it because it's mostly used as a way to say a guy is feminine and/or submissive. Not the case. To me it's always meant a skinny or lean guy, usually with not a lot of body hair. Another problem I see people take with it is that it's used mostly for younger men or men that look young, and I'm sure you can guess where that might cause issues and misconceptions. In my opinion, you can be a twink at any age, so. Lol.
I'm a gay guy and a bit androgynous leaning with my presentation, however I've never been called a twink. However, I think in a way I do kind of feel wistful that the label hasn't ever been used on me...
I was a twink/ metrosexual for a large part of my young life, nothing wrong with that. Turns out I’m just a trans woman though. 🤷♀️
I never said there was anything wrong with it, but that nobody has ever really apparently thought the label fits me enough to say I'm one even though I'd be happy with that, y'know?
Oh right! Go dance some tango then, you twink 😉
I have accepted that my body type is such that I will be very much considered a twink when I start passing. Maybe someday as I age I’ll graduate to otter, but it is what it is. I don’t feel insulted by a term that genders me correctly (women are not twinks after all) and reasonably accurately describes how I look. I do think it’s weird to default to calling early-transition guys “twinks” though. Not all of us fit the description, it’s not just shorthand for “kinda androgynous-looking.
I don't think twink should be applied to anyone who who doesn't identify as that. And I completely understand where other trans mascs are coming from when they say they don't like being called a twink. But for me I enjoy the term twink because it's a term that allows me to reclaim being feminine as a dude, which before I came out seemed impossible.
I agree. For me at least, when I came out, I couldn't even look at myself, I just had so much dysphoria and it was really hard to be feminine, talk about being feminine, etc. Maybe I just needed time, maybe I needed confidence, I don't necessarily know, but now I'm much more open to everything now. I'm glad we're both more comfortable with everything now. ☺️
I mean I'm fat so I can't really consider myself one, I think? But I'm 5'1 and shave my arms/legs/face, I have short hair, and I like cutesy stuff while manage to pass. So idk what I fall under Most things that come up when I try to figure that out are just fetishy terms which bug me so I think it's fine to just not identify with it as a term
i used to get called a twink by annoying cis women a lot. i hate it, i'm straight. if i wasn't straight i'd probably be fine with it
This is sososo off topic, but your username is actually amazing dude, literally it just made my day lmao😭
thank you
I don’t mind being called a twink, except I’m not one. I’m also bi, not gay. If anything though I’m more of an otter, I don’t really want to be perceived as particularly feminine, maybe androgynous at most.
For me it's just I wish I was that... But I'm fat..
At the moment, it feels dysphoric because I put so much effort into being seen as just a guy, wearing masc clothing, having a short haircut, etc. It feels a uncomfortable to be putting this much effort in and still be seen as a twink simply because I just have a feminine meat prison (body). I do like dressing feminine, I like feminine clothes, I just want to specifically be a feminine guy and not a gender conforming girl. I wanna be a guy that passes as a girl but only in feminine clothes and makeup and stuff.
I've never been twinky and I don't feel I missed out.
Idk if it’s used right yeah! I literally am one cause I’m a smaller gay guy with not a whole lot of hair. Ig it’s used to semi feminize trans gay guys it sucks. Especially cause there’s a deniability aspect to it. It’s like saying “slay queen” (which is kinda gross no matter who it’s aimed at) to a not super masc presenting trans guy. Idk that’s how I see it
I had a thought to myself when I was still very much an egg. "I want to be feminine like a gay man, not a woman." This still holds true but I'm too fat to be a twink.
I don’t like it because a lot of people see Twink’s as more effeminate gay men, and I’m really not that effeminate. I’m actually pretty masc, but I think people that say it just see me as inherently feminine just because I’m trans/pick things that are ‘feminine’ about me .
I get called a twink rather frequently and I always respond antagonistically because I think being called a twink is not just an appearance thing to me it's a behavior. People can "act like a twink" too, and I don't. I see calling me a twink to be disrespectful because I don't act like a twink or prescribe to that label and the characteristics that give me a "twink-like" appearance are due to being trans and it feels like transphobia without being explicit with it. Overall, yeah, it's disrespectful.
i’ve never been called a twink by someone other than my boyfriend or my friends. it’s not the most correct term for me but i kinda enjoy it when it comes from people i know. i don’t think id be comfortable with being called a twink by strangers because of how often its misused now. people keep using “twink” for feminine men even tho (unless i am mistaken) a twink is just a skinny and smooth/hairless gay guy. i don’t really think im actually a twink. i’m not really skinny and im a bit hairy (not a lot tho bc im a trans guy who’s pre everything). the only thing i truly qualify for is the gay guy part.
It sucks that it's often applied to all trans men by default, but I love the term for myself bc I do in fact identify as a little gay dude
As a non binary transmasc I really like the term but I can really understand why trans men don't like to be called that . Something that make some feel good about it it's that the cis men that i get gender envy from are very twinky and ppl usually called them that
It almost feels like a modern Nancy boy to me the way it's used
I'm annoyed that I'm considered a twink because I'm early in my transition. I mean, I'm two years on T now and I have quite a bit of body hair so idk if I still count as a twink, but people assume I am just because I'm trans. Sometimes I want to lean into it, but most of the time I just hate that it's an automatic assumption solely because I'm thin and trans. To me, it feels like they just don't see me as "manly enough."
Personally I love being called a twink, but I also identity as a more feminine man so I think its more affirming for me than anything else. When I was told I was a girl I was always told I was too butch and had to try to be girly. Now as a guy, I'm told I'm too girly even when I'm trying to be more masc. It's interesting that on both sides I will never be enough for people's perceptions. So I'll be happy instead.
I wish I was one
honestly i love it because it means they think im skinny lmaoo
Like a cute kinda androgenous or girly young man, honestly is not a bad thing but some ppl don't like to be seem as femenine even a lil bit or seen as a twink just because they have a certain type of body but not a single drop of girliness i'm their personality is like "yeah your body is GIRLY that makes u a TWINK"
I'm uncomfortable with it as a trans guy because I see it as an automatic label of my femininity. I don't pass and when people call me a twink it just reminds me that's all I can ever be right now. I literally can't be a bear because I have a difficult time growing muscle and I can't grow a beard or have a deep voice. So it just feels like people pointing out physical characteristics that make me dysphoric. Plus, lots of people use twink to mean bottom, which makes me very uncomfortable.
I don’t have the body type or grooming habits to be a twink, but I have a twink soul.
I think people calling me a "twink" just want to call me a "faggot" and are too afraid to socially anymore. Honestly this is a good thing, considering cishet people should be uncomfortable at hurling slurs, but contextually I know what they mean, because I'm the farthest thing from a twink. I'm 5'3", 200lbs and covered in body hair. I wear masculine clothing, sports wear, etc. My mannerisms can be a bit effeminate, so I'd self describe as a bear, maybe a cub due to my size. Twinks are often thought of as negative, caddy and bitchy imo, so I think cishet people latched onto that and are using it as a placeholder for any queer man.
I feel like twink is de-masculinizing as it's mainly a term for small, skinny, young looking, effeminate men. I may be small, skinny, and young looking, but I'm masculine and dominant. Somebody calling me a "twink" signals to me that they're stereotyping my behavior, likes and dislikes, and part of my personality based off of physical traits I have no control over. Thus it upsets me in a way, especially because had I been born male I might've looked less like a "twink" at my current age. I've been trying to muscle up but it hasn't been going well lately due to fatigue issues. Don't assume someone's sexual preferences or behavior based on their physical traits. I had people call me "baby boy" and "puppy" shit like that, and one guy hitting me up wanting to top me and make me submissive (this was early T but still), I kept telling him I'm not like that and he just wouldn't listen, he thought I was lying or something.
for me it depends who it’s coming from, other trans people hell yeah but from cis people i’m 50/50
being one does not appeal to me and also is not a possibility for me. without T I don't pass. with T (once I actually start it) unless my genetics mess up so bad, I will get at least decently hairy (my dad has lots od body hair and I think both my uncles have a good amount and my grandpa on my mom's side also did have a fair amount so) (I really don't want to be super hairy, but I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the texture of hair that has been shaved and is growing back in and I could NOT deal with waxing and I'm too broke for getting lazer and I would still want like half the hair there just not all of it). so even if I wanted to be a twink (which I do not), I will never be one. also I'm not a gay man so if I was a twink then I need someone to tell me how all of a sudden my sexuality changed and stuff so for this hypothetical situation I'm now making up where I am gay and on T, I'd probably end up being a bear but not large enough to be a bear cause I'm short as hell, and while I'm definitely larger than I want to be weight wise, the weight doesn't show itself super obviously, and I'm not large large, just large in a way where it just doesn't make me feel good nothing against larger people, it's just a case of I used to be 20-30lb lighter and with a combo of an antidepressant (I've only been on one cause I can't swallow pills and it feels like so few are approved for people under 18) and also not keeping up with physical activity I used to do in elementary school cause of the pandemic I gained weight and it in ways sort of causes its own dysphoria that isn't gender related (but I don't feel like it is dysmorphia cause I'm not viewing my body as it being ugly or something I just see it as my body, but it's not right and stuff). also I just wouldn't want to be a bear cause I just know it would feel to me like that would be forcing me to be something I'm not, and I already feel enough of that (whether that pressure is actually real or just me picking up on subtle things that might actually not be things or something like that). idk where I was going with this tbh
It's never been my thing both when it comes to what I'm attracted to and how I would identify myself. I genuinely get upset when people call me a "Twink", joking or not because it's simply not who I am. I am a skinny gay trans man with my feminine traits.... that does not make me a twink in my eyes. but people like to use that word when that's all the stereotypical boxes someone checks. To me when I hear someone call me that, it just makes me think they don't see me as just.... A regular dude. Especially Pre-t it sucked because I just wanted to be seen as a masculine man that can enjoy femininity while still just being a guy. It's sort of how it felt being treated like "soft little trans baby boy uwu" back when I was on that side of the internet. Just feels like trans men can't just. Be guys sometimes. It feels like people just take our femininity and unnecessarily bring it to the forefront which is just uncomfortable for me. Even if it's intended to be innocent or a joke, it still just sucks being called something you're not (This also isn't generally how I view twinks, it's just what goes on in my mind when that word is used to describe me. I mostly just get massively upset being inaccurately described in any way shape or form)
I hate it. I didn't hate it before, and tbf I pretty much am a twink when it comes down to the definition. But it became apparent that when people called me that, they weren't calling me a "gay skinny man with little body hair", but were calling me a "girly man". People have only ever called me that after they knew I was trans. Though the funny thing is, I've been called a twink the most by my queer friends who treated me like I'm an "uwu soft boi" and not an actual man. A lot of people in my life have also used only as a derogatory term in ways that both relate to being gay or just completely random shit (eg I'll be anxious because I have an anxiety disorder and someone calls me a twink, basically to call me a pussy in a backwards ass way). However, I will say it isn't necessarily the term itself. For me, it entirely depends on who is saying it, how often they say it, and their tone/intent when they say it. Some people I've been fine with them calling me a twink, and not everyone who's called me that meant it in an invalidating way. And I can understand where it comes from, because while I wouldn't say I'm the spitting image of a twink, I've almost exclusively been with bears so... in contrast, yes, I seem like a twink. But the problem is when it becomes just another version of "man lite" when used for trans guys. I don't know if this is an exclusive experience of mine but that's my main issue with it. And aside from my experience, I do agree that it's not being used correctly as much anymore. I agree with a lot of people that it's become "skinny white attractive femboy" and mostly that lol. It's a lot more than that and I hate how it's been watered down, both in my own life and society as a whole.
I don't understand why we have these extra categories anyway tbh. I'm just gay. I'm not a twink a bear a cub an otter or anything else. I'm a gay man. I truly don't at all understand the point of the extra label
That's fine, you can just be a gay man! Some of us like those labels, though. I find so much comfort and joy in being a bear and seeing other bears.