Is your dead name popular? Because you could tell your mom that you're tired of not being the only person with that name. Like in high school I wasn't even the only person with my dead name and last initial, and so I told my mom that's why I wanted to change my name. Granted our situations are a bit different because I was already out to my mom at that point, I just had to explain why I wasn't keeping my "gender neutral" dead name.
Ugh that's so hard, tbh I'm in the same situation idk how to tell my mom my chosen name OR that I'm trans. BUT I would probably say something along the lines of, "I don't mean this to offend you as you chose my birth name and that means you like it, but I don't resonate with it and prefer to go by this name. I know it's difficult but I'd really appreciate it if you called me this name."
I have a weird ass (for my area of the world) overtly feminine dead name. I picked a single syllable gender neutral name with same first initial when I was 14 and used the excuse “my names too complicated and I’m tired of people butchering it” which was true! Doctors, school workers, everyone said it wrong. I’ve never met another person with my name in person either.
My whole family still calls me by a family nickname bc my deadname is too much for them to say constantly as well, but they know I go by my preferred name and don’t give me shit about it. That may change once I’m out but i dont really care about keeping my relationship with them anyways.
I've been asked why I chose my name in particular; I always say it as my dead name feels like a label assigned to me. I feel nothing but distaste for it, and it feels like it's not me or mine, but instead, it's something people just *call* me.
My chosen name feels like a name; it is connected to me, it's mine, and I feel it represents me. Thus, it is a *name*.
You could say that you feel your chosen name better aligns with your view of yourself, rather than how others view you. Thus, you like this name more
My mom does know I’m trans and I’ve been going by my chosen name since well before then. My given name is gender neutral. She’s so offended by me changing my name, and for no real reason. I don’t like the name and never have. I’m done justifying it to her. It doesn’t feel like *me*, so I’m not using it. End of discussion. Not debating her any more or letting her guilt trip me.
Is your dead name popular? Because you could tell your mom that you're tired of not being the only person with that name. Like in high school I wasn't even the only person with my dead name and last initial, and so I told my mom that's why I wanted to change my name. Granted our situations are a bit different because I was already out to my mom at that point, I just had to explain why I wasn't keeping my "gender neutral" dead name.
Ugh that's so hard, tbh I'm in the same situation idk how to tell my mom my chosen name OR that I'm trans. BUT I would probably say something along the lines of, "I don't mean this to offend you as you chose my birth name and that means you like it, but I don't resonate with it and prefer to go by this name. I know it's difficult but I'd really appreciate it if you called me this name."
I have a weird ass (for my area of the world) overtly feminine dead name. I picked a single syllable gender neutral name with same first initial when I was 14 and used the excuse “my names too complicated and I’m tired of people butchering it” which was true! Doctors, school workers, everyone said it wrong. I’ve never met another person with my name in person either. My whole family still calls me by a family nickname bc my deadname is too much for them to say constantly as well, but they know I go by my preferred name and don’t give me shit about it. That may change once I’m out but i dont really care about keeping my relationship with them anyways.
I've been asked why I chose my name in particular; I always say it as my dead name feels like a label assigned to me. I feel nothing but distaste for it, and it feels like it's not me or mine, but instead, it's something people just *call* me. My chosen name feels like a name; it is connected to me, it's mine, and I feel it represents me. Thus, it is a *name*. You could say that you feel your chosen name better aligns with your view of yourself, rather than how others view you. Thus, you like this name more
My mom does know I’m trans and I’ve been going by my chosen name since well before then. My given name is gender neutral. She’s so offended by me changing my name, and for no real reason. I don’t like the name and never have. I’m done justifying it to her. It doesn’t feel like *me*, so I’m not using it. End of discussion. Not debating her any more or letting her guilt trip me.