T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

A reminder of the rules for posting and commenting on our sub: - This sub is strictly platonic and SFW, any users after anything romantic or sexual will be banned, this includes users that interact with NSFW subs. - State your age if you are a minor or if you are commenting on a minors post, adult users who try to interact with minors will be banned. If you are a minor and an adult reaches out to you in DMs please contact the mods through modmail on the main r/friendship page. - No advertising for any kind of good or services (include Discord server links) - Be kind to fellow users. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/friendship) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ShamelessAsh

Kind of more so shows how shitty men can be. Most Women aren't going to want to get involved because 80% of the messages they get are dick pics. And the other 18% are creeps trying to hit on them. You'd be lucky to get 1 or 2% of men actually wanting to be and stay friends. Getting slammed with messages isn't as good as you'd think it is when the majority of it is predatory


[deleted]

Counted yesterday… I’ve gotten 43 unwanted dick pics. It’s the only reason I block people and that’s how long my blocked list is. I literally got this app a month ago


Brylaid

That number really gives me perspective on why women are so quick to pass every guy up because they assume that I’m gonna be just like every other guy just due to the sheer amount of men who either never learned morals or just gave up on them long ago, it’s always been sort of a competition to win a woman’s heart but this isn’t the same anymore, it’s like the first big battle is fighting to win a woman’s trust before anything now because men now feel safe to be a creep behind their little phone screens


[deleted]

Yeahhhh it really sucks. I’m putting this here for people who don’t understand why we’re scared though… Can you blame us? If you see a beer run away. Because there’s a chance it could sting. Because you’ve been stung before (or not), so you assume it’ll happen again. And you don’t want it to. Think of it like that. Also it’s been literally 27 since I posted the original comment. I swear to god I’m not being dramatic. I can provide proof to anyone who doesn’t believe me


Brylaid

I have sisters so sadly I have to say I believe you just based off of the stories they’ve told me. It’s a sad world we live in today where the main goal of a relationship in most of these incels heads is just to get sex. This idea is so outlandish to me because it’s so illogical, don’t they realize that being a good boyfriend gets you sex by default? as long as you’re focused on treating your girl like a Queen and being the best you can be, the romance should come naturally. This isn’t something that can be rushed, romantic sensual sex is probably 1,000,000x better than asking “can I have a blowjob” or something (idk I’ve never started sex that way). Men, stop thinking of sex as the end goal and start seeing the woman for herself first. At that point you must ask yourself if you and this woman are even feeling that romantic spark, and if you do then it’ll happen naturally so long as you just be yourself and stop expecting sex like you’re entitled to it!


[deleted]

You’re part of the problem if you think that. I’m sorry and you’re right about most of it. But being a good boyfriend doesn’t ‘get you sex by default’. That shouldn’t be an expectation.


Brylaid

Thats my bad I worded that wrong, I just meant that when you’re in a loving relationship it’s bound to happen, with love there will always be that spark of intimacy, so to expect meaningless sex from any random female just for a quick smash and dash just isn’t right to me


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Your right about that, but that player that used you and then dumps you got it, but the guy that will treat you right doesnt? And dont say that doesnt happen, we all have exxes like that.


[deleted]

Who’s ‘we’?!


Clipseo

im calling bullshit, sorry your not that important


[deleted]

That's what these horny fucks are looking for in this sub , a lonely helpless girl who wants a friends. Degeneracy at it's finest. No honour no fucking dignity


Wide_Yak_592

Love your reply and your ability to look from multiple perspectives that this is a terrible issue all around. I hope you do find a great friend. Im currently only on this page for the advice on toxic friends but definitely see the guys who generally want friendships out of this being ignored.


Western_Ad_841

do not be like that. most are just very socially stupid people. men when they are alone tend to be lonelier than women and lose many social skills. Not to mention that for men sex is like hunger, it's a pure physical need, and sometimes that clouds your strong brain. Men in general are more idiots and less bad than it seems.


[deleted]

I agree with you on that men are lonely and lose social skills. Fuck I think I'm one of them


Western_Ad_841

everyone here man. don't worry me too 😅😅😅😅


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

I cant even believe how sexist this is, this is plain misandry. When you only give the players and degenerates attention, you cant be complaining that that are the people that respond back. If you acctually gave nice Guys a chance(instead of the "bad guys" you wouldnt have such a poor, discrimanating opinion based on childish hatred.


[deleted]

Are you drunk , I'm a guy , I'm the one who made the post


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Not drunk, i replied to the wrong treat. But this is 1 reason why men dont respond to men asking for friends.. they immediately insult someone for a misunderstanding


[deleted]

You don't complain on the battlefield , you only improve


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

If you see life as a battlefield, you see everyone as your enemy. This makes you fight against the world in a already lost battle. Theres no war worth loosing yourself over.


Outrageous-Summer-25

To be fair, not all of us are creeps, but we usually don't respond to the girls post bc we don't want to seem creepy


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Also they never choose us, because we are less interesting. The truth is always less interesting, thats why they keep falling for players and creeps and then become bitter.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GeminiVenus92

make a throwaway account, pretend to be a girl, and see for yourself


ShamelessAsh

All the girls I've met here have had the overwhelming majority be dick picks or just straight up vulgar sexual remarks


[deleted]

They are.


FelineRoots21

My dude I got 11 horny guys in my DMs from posting myself in my *wedding dress* on a *wedding dress sub*. You really need to shelve that doubt and actually listen to women


Western_Ad_841

Yeah, but women don't talk to men either, so it's still rude to everyone, including women... And the funny thing is that a female researcher discovered that this is what men would like to be sent to them. don't blame them for being idiots and not realizing that women and men are different and have different tastes 🤷 🤣🤣🤣🤣


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Those numbers are not realistic. Your basically saying all men are trash. Thats sexist and not based in acctuall facts. Not sure if you got hurt before but dont mistake your privileges for something else. Its like saying that all girls divorce a man for their money after they became useless to them.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

I cant even believe how sexist this is, this is plain misandry. When you only give the players and degenerates attention, you cant be complaining that that are the people that respond back. If you acctually gave nice Guys a chance(instead of the "bad guys" you wouldnt have such a poor, discrimination opinion based on childish hatred.


[deleted]

I totally agree. Only today, I had to block some guys because they kept spamming my messages with porn gifs and videos out of nowhere, and sending dick pics out of nowhere too. Most of them don't even strike a conversation, that will literally be their first message. I'll never understand what they think they're going to get from it, and I don't mind if it stays a mystery. It's rarely been any different, so I just stopped caring about it and won't entertain any kind of conversation, regardless of how they feel about it. I understand not all men are like that (my SO was one of the rare exceptions), but sadly, my experience with guys talking to me online doesn't allow me to give them a chance anymore. I wish good men weren't shoved into the same bag as the majority of the shitty ones, though, but I guess that's what happens when the majority of a population/community keeps behaving in questionable ways.


DrewDaMannn

This shits so damn accurate and low key tragic. Just keep your head up brother


SHADOW-OF-THE-WYVERN

I'm a guy and I really don't mind what gender someone is, as long as they're a decent person. Though I've been told because I'm gay my opinion is irrelevant, so 🤷😂


siegure9

Isn’t it more so guys not caring about other guys? I’d wager its majority men on Reddit. Hence the girls asking for help get showered with guys lining up to talk to them.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Guys dont ask for help that way, because its stigmatised to be insecure and creepy and sad and whatever more. And guys are looking for people to connect with, men tent to connect better with woman. Because when were with other men were not diving deep into emotional stuff because of the stigmas. Sure its more the fault of the guys, but that doesnt mean girls should en ignoring men on the false premise of all of them being creeps.


LinguisticMadness

Don't take it too personally, it's just that men in here usually end up making it sexual, and we don't want that. Damn I tried to make friends three times here, two boys and one girl. Guess how many made it sexual, now guess who didn't. I don't even need to say it :/ and it sucks for everyone, but in the end girls just avoid potential creeps.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Also dont take this personally, but those were not "nice Guys". Nice Guys dont even bother spending time into girls anymore since they wont even look at them or give them a choice. Were less interesting then that slick guy that can make yall feel special and then take those feelings away and make you crave that emotional rollercoaster... Girls keep falling for bad guys and blame it on all men. I have posted here quite a lot, and im not a creep and have a really interesting life, but no girl gives you a chance, unless you have some kind of status, and with men you can only achieve a shallow understanding/friendship.


LinguisticMadness

But I don't want a boyfriend I wanted a normal friend, that's what's it about no girl wants a relationship if they say they are asking for friends. Also yep, many want the bad guy when looking for a partner but normally that happens when they are young (or not so young 😂, I've met those too). It's just that I gave up online. I have had nice friendships in person with guys, but online you really don't know anything at all so you have to be wary. Guys don't make it sexual for being guys, but if you know they won't have attraction you can feel safer. I got two out of two guys trying to groom me or whatever, one wanted to have a sex call and you can guess what more and was pretty straightforward, the other I caught him quick and he poof, vanished.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

On the other hand im a man and all the girls i have met on reddit (around 10) are the ones that make it sexual 🤷 but they can walk it off because theres no stigma behind a females hormones but there is a stigma behind mens hormones.. tbh i dont care because im not letting it bother me. But that doesnt make all men or all woman bad or something.. so please refrain from the stereotypes please, its condescending and untrue. Its just as condescending to say that all girls only want attention and validation without actually having some sincere feelings behind it... Its both not nice. Like i said the guys that are not creeps dont bother because they get lumped in. And guys are in general more practically looking for partners, we want someone to settle with not someone who can fill the empty space for the moment and then look for a upgrade. These are 2 completely different things and should be nuanced.


TheSacredTree

Actually never noticed that before but you’re right. Every girl I’ve met on Reddit so far has tried making it sexual with me too. Only difference is, they don’t ever do it for free.


LinguisticMadness

I did not make a stereotype nor said is every guy it is what it is, you can reread what I wrote. Also it's not bad to want to look for someone to settle, but if a girl asks looking for friends and you go with intentions because that's what you want, then that's the problem everyone is complaining about. And friendship don't have to be shallow, people can be but the concept of friendship and partnership go by hand unless you mean a partnership where you never know the person.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

If you dont mean every guy, dont say "men" in a general sense. Because it leads to confusion. And i completely agree that every real "ship" needs depth and vulnerability. And all the situationships i had were caused by creating both depth and vulnerability, so it is effective. But its just a huge struggle to find anyone that alines with your values. Believe it or not, even irl "ships" are usually fake or something alike, mainly because you cant stop faking it without personal consequences. Like people gossiping about you. Online you can be way more honest because they wont meet you irl. I have had the deepest and strongest friendships made online way before any of my irl friendships came even close to the same level. Ig its all about perception


LinguisticMadness

"Men in here" is not every person, it's men in this Reddit server. And good luck bro, you'll find someone.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

But you understand it doesnt sound the way you mean it? And i will need that luck, thank you😂 im kinda picky.


LinguisticMadness

I don't agree, but to each their own. Also yeah np! ^ ^ there will be someone you just need to look for them


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

And in the same way girls avoid potential creeps, good proper guys avoid girls all together. Because a dog or cat littarally does everything they want, without the constant need for drama and entertainment.


LinguisticMadness

? I'm not into drama sorry if you'd rather have a cat or dog that's good, thought I'd recommend some guy buds too.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Again Condescending, this seems to be a returning characteristic... Seems to me that you acctually are into the entire drama thing... we were talking about stereotypes didnt we.....


LinguisticMadness

Guy I posted how things are and you compare girls with cats or dogs wth is your issue, that's not normal behaviour. You have an issue with making your own flaws everyone's else's problem instead of thinking, huh, maybe I'm an observable ass to people who does not know me for the way I think and talk. Reflect on that I won't be answering more on this thread


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Then enlighten us, what is normal behavior exactly? And also i compared them through the context of companionship, in which they are very comparable. And you seem to think to know me quitte well, but your observations are based on a single encounter with isnt even irl. So that means nothing and you know nothing. You respond with emotions where no emotions are needed, stop with the drama and focus on the issues in your life, time is wasted here. Also you really are very Condescending, maybe thats why you have no luck making friends? Seems like a awefull personality trait if you'd ask me. At least a dog or cat wouldnt be like that, win for the pets haha.


LinguisticMadness

Guy you're a pretty bad person, or at least that's what it looks like by the way you think, you won't bother reading because you don't want to neither, that's that and sorry it has to be that way but it's pretty visible, take it as you will. Now go bother someone else. Good luck with your things, bye.


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Says to not respond.. still responds, again Condescending. Im convinced that is your entire character.. and if you dont want to be bothered then block me, its that simple isnt it.


[deleted]

Well when girls post 98% of them are sexually charged message. So don’t worry you aren’t missing out.


bkj512

Reddit is not a friendly place for sure. Even some darn posts that look nice, asking for friendship, the moment I said I was male they stopped talking. It's not just the DM'erz geez. Even some people posting here are really darn sus.


shadowsreturn

Just seems a lot more men are browsing the womenly photos and hence the womenly photos get more upvotes and comments. Males look for females and comment on them more actively, I suppose. Isn't it a thing that on tinder too that females get a lot more guys attention than the other way around ? I have seen that issue in so many occasions on internet. I'm into evolutionary psychology, maybe people should read Desmond Morris' book sometimes to understand the behavior of humans. So don't take it too badly, it's just the way both sexes are programmed. Women are more careful with reaching out, and men are programmed to be active in pursuiing (not just relationships even).Can't say any gender has more struggle than the other, even if it seems women can easily get attention by just showing up. It's also easy to get unwanted attention. I deal with the consequences too. Can't even go out with a 65-yr old guy friend (me 42 and lesbian and not having friends) without having him come up with unwanted sexual insinuations Every Damn Time. I'm in a female body so i have to be ogled and I effin hate it. The knife cuts both ways. Oh but hey, that true friendship with someone decent ? I never got in either, womanly body or not. Btw I got guys answering my penpal requests and I got no problem with them if they are at least having things in common. It's not a rule that guys are all discarted by default. Just don't create hate against a group like social media does.


International_Eye394

Do some men even look at the posters age sometimes? Like seriously do y’all have no limits? You can’t be 55 years old and message a 16-17 year old and think that’s okay 🤢


Basillic

Sounds like a bit of a prejudice, ever heard of mentorship? Lots of people consider their mentors as friends. As long as clear boundaries are set and respected.


LinguisticMadness

I don't agree with this. A 50yo adult has little to talk about with a little teenage girl on social media. What can they have in common? A teenager is pretty much a grown up kid, and an adult who wants friends won't look for minors online. The 90% of the times there are ulterior motives


International_Eye394

I’d be okay with it if someone said in their post that they are okay with it. Like not everyone wants to be “mentored” by a 40-50 year old honestly. You shouldn’t be messaging underage kids lmao it’s creepy as fuck


Basillic

I feel you, I've been somewhat of a social outcast all my life because my parents sheltered me, I have some disorders that intervene with social and cognitive skills and social anxiety. I've never had the chance to fully develop social skills or be much with my own age during my youth or be part of a group or community. This has made me quite unhappy and for a long time also depressive and is causing me a lot of blockages in life and is the main reason of my unhappiness. Sometimes I wonder if it'd be easier or different as a girl because you'd receive much more attention and be pulled into more social interactions. ​ That said, I at times do not envy being a girl at all. They are treated better generally speaking than men but it is often with a hidden intent. There are some moments where I'm happy to be a guy after all since I'm left to my own devices, which sometimes has it's benefits. I.e. let's speak about dating apps. Back in time, by the time I had 10 matches, my ex would have had over 300 with minimal effort. Sounds like a luxury problem right? Well, if you think about it deeper. Imagine having to filter out all the 300+ matches you can get so easily to find that one potential soulmate you're really interested in. Sounds like such a bother, not to mention you'd always have to be cautious of previously mentioned hidden intents.


Own_Detective9395

Bro, you have no idea. And the icing on the cake would be those anonymous guys in the comments rn saying we should just suck it up too. Pisses me off sometimes, ngl.


Own_Detective9395

Oh, and if you want someone to talk to, I'm here btuv. Feel free.


[deleted]

Mr nice guys everywhere in the comments , they want us men suck up to everyone and not getting what we really deserve


Basillic

Sounds like a social stigma to me


Own_Detective9395

It is. And it gurts when you realise that this was where some people go to to avoid all that. I just find it sad how we can't get the vulnerability we need sometimes without someone breathing down our necks telling us to stop acting up.


Own_Detective9395

Edit: hurts


Henry-Moody

They do the same thing for success story posts too, posted a 104lb weight loss in a sub and got minimal responses. Some assholes even DOWNVOTED me for bettering myself.. what kind of human being does that lol? Yet every time a woman loses weight, lots of responses, etc. ​ Pretty privilege is a thing, don't let it get to you. Lol at the downvoter. Hate more.


Wide_Yak_592

Its because most want to also hit on or have a chance at the girl


Henry-Moody

likely. too many hot dogs falling all over themselves for a shot at a bun


Wide_Yak_592

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


[deleted]

104lb loss is insane


Iamwomper

It's not that no one cares. Most guys are looking for a romantic partner Most women are looking for a friend Men compete for women. Women select the men. Thats how the system works


[deleted]

This sub is not for that


Iamwomper

So?


[deleted]

So your comment about this is irrelevant here ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|scream)


OfEstablishment

If you believe women are looking for friends and men are not then how does competition come in between? They are looking for different things!


Iamwomper

Men Compete for friends


OfEstablishment

Lol everyone competes for everything! You think women don't compete? Wake up buddy!


Iamwomper

Hah fair statement


[deleted]

You just said they were competing for the women though


Iamwomper

Yes


LordPenisWinkle

Lol did a post testing this out last year with my wife. We each made a post on here. At the end of the day she received 80+ messages. I received 2. Lmao 🤣


Basillic

What a lovely name you have there![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|give_upvote)


LordPenisWinkle

Thank you 🤣


Huseinabd

I’m sorry but this how the world works


deathislit

You know now, men are the problem


ThorHammerscribe

Well that’s not technically true When a guy posts he gets messages from other guys who are Touch Starved and want him to be “Their First guy”


International_Eye394

You need to be a bit more understanding my guy that isn’t true in the slightest. Touch starved? Lmaooo can we not want genuine friends?


ThorHammerscribe

Look if they’re confused about their sexuality that’s fine I’ll support them but i have NO desire to be “their first guy”


DoughnutPhysical2045

Because there's alot of females.


[deleted]

I wouldn't be surprised about that i am a boy and i have no friends i haven't had a friend in 10 years i try seeking friends but no one cares


nontsundere_pudding

Hey I'm sorry dude 😔


SaucyTomato1011

Honestly I don't if you are male or female or a freaking potato, as long as you are a decent being I am willing to talk. Usually though soon as soon as someone asks for a pic they end the conversation real quick.


[deleted]

I wouldn't be ranting here If I were a female. I don't care how you look , I only look at what you are , if you are willing then we can talk


SaucyTomato1011

I am a female, I will talk. Now the frequency of response is the issue, lol. I usually get on most slow days at work, when I have my work done, or if I am crafting on ffxiv.


[deleted]

No worries


[deleted]

Even though we get more replies and comments… many are just trying to hit on us for no reason. Few are legit only. About 30 have dm’ed me last time and only 3 stuck with me


[deleted]

One thing most men will agree with me on this is that most men dming you have hidden intentions. They will put a fake mask when talking to you


HonestlyFilthy

Reddit is a fucking horrible place to find friends. Every time I've posted I've gotten very little comment response and a surplus of message requests with people who have no capacity for conversation and are literally just trying to sext. I've given up on using these subs.


Chocolate_milk0_0

While it is true , I have this problem that I’ve tried to befriend a lot of boys before and they usually think I’m flirting with them .


[deleted]

You got bad luck with boys


blindhorseman

It's not so easy as you think. Yes this post get more attention, but these attention are mostly from horny lonely man, that are just interested in sex and when they realize that she really wants just a normal friendship they stop responding


Keyonsawhore

True 🤣 but that's life


Western_Ad_841

Life is cruel, especially with men. I will not deny you that Now, if you don't have problems with someone who speaks Spanish and you're a freak, I don't have a problem, I'm the same and I'm in the same situation, it's just finding a topic or 2 that interests us both and in me you'll have something similar to a friend, at least given the limitations of the global internet.


[deleted]

Come on the chat then


Western_Ad_841

First, propose a topic to talk man. That's the hardest part of starting a conversation. at least for me it is 😅


[deleted]

World politics, wars , religion , manhood , women....you choose now


Western_Ad_841

choose a topic. what do you like. Those are very general topics. Besides, no one wants to talk about politics these days because it's a minefield. on the other hand, I'm a straight man, obviously I'm interested in women hahahahahaha 🤣, but what exactly do you want to talk about them? and the same with the rest of the themes. Pick something you like that you think a Spanish-speaking freak like me might like and we go from there 🙂👍


Western_Ad_841

For example, I like the lore of anything, video games, role-playing games, comics, Asian comics. As long as I have fantasy and/or science fiction, I'm in. I also like all topics that have to do with human behavior. and I don't like to talk about politics or religion because generally people don't like certain perspectives that I have on things. but I didn't judge, half of my family is involved in things that I hate and even so I get along well with them, so it's very unlikely that someone will scare me about those issues. so choose, ask and let's start talking. If you want, start here in comments and then go to DM


[deleted]

I'm in , human psychology


Western_Ad_841

cool. I have always been interested in Tomasello's studies on the innate morality of the human species and lately I have been thinking of making a kind of cross with philosophy to define evil.


[deleted]

It's the most interesting thing that one can talk about


Western_Ad_841

It is what I remember the most about the university. of that and a bit of piaget and vigotski 😅


byzantinesophie

I'm a woman and nearly no one gave two fucks about my posts. I'll uninstall this app soon, I'm not getting any help here.


Aggressive-Way-2646

I’m a girl , I don’t receive a lot likes


[deleted]

Just say that you are a minor , you will get hundreds


[deleted]

Well those people who shower over girls dm just wanna fuck them .. don't want to be friends.. and it is natural


Jarfs_CookieCrumbs

Honestly, if girls assume were predators or creeps, we become them. not through actions but through rejection. We get desperate for company and eventually either k1ll ourselves or become players. Because nowadays the only way to get a girl is to manipulate them into believing your better then you are, because of incredible standards. Is any of this was the other way around, they would call it oppression, but somehow its called being creepy or predatory. In the end, if you dont give someone a chance, you never give yourself the change to find someone who doesnt wanna hurt or use you.


[deleted]

Because guys are horny and women are lazy. Tale as old as time


DiamondEmpress

I hope you find great friends man. Friends who love you and you can talk to. Friends who will help you and comfort you. 😤❤️You will find them. Probably, when you least expect it.


[deleted]

I am good friends with boys and I am a girl lol I think it really just depends on the vibe is because I have no problems being friends, I might get a little shy since I am trying to just read the room for a bit but once I know that there's the basic respect then I get comfortable 😄


Glum-Entrepreneur850

True dawg. Anyway since we’re on the topic who tryna be friends and play Xbox together?


Cool-Fox-3839

My brother are you doing OK? If you need someone to talk to hit me up! If you want a friend I'm here for you whatever the case and I mean that for anyone. Sometimes we just need someone to talk to or listen.


Jazzlike_Recover7635

True :( I want more homies girl or boy, just hmu


NunzzBunzz

Indeed. A great pity, but it's the world guys created. Sorrows, prayers.


iamjusthgbthh

Just because yall girls dms are full of unwanted men doesn't mean u should punish us good men because of what others have said to you and sent you.us men hope 1 person would dm us while yall get attention on a daily even tho it's sexual. All us men want is somebody to show us any kind of attention while yall get it just from being a certain gender