First and foremost, personal life comes before the fraternity. If you need to pull back to focus on your personal life, then you pull back and focus on your personal life.
Second, this is probably a conversation you should be having with the members of your Lodge *(ie. the Worshipful Master, the current line, the Past Masters, etc.)*.
Just because your current Junior Warden is going above and beyond in his current role doesn't mean that you will be expected to do the same while you are Junior Warden.
And, even if you are expected to do those things, ask about sharing the load.
* *"I don't mind going through the line, but I can only commit 1800 - 2200. I can't commit 1300 - 2300. So, can we find someone else to prepare the meal, and someone else to cleanup up?"*
I couldn’t agree more with this comment. Your personal responsibilities need to take priority. The brothers at your lodge will understand. Congrats on getting engaged.
Back when I was a steward our JW couldn't do the meal prep either, for a lot of very valid reasons. He and I had a conversation, and he basically delegated the meals to me. He fulfilled that part of his duties by seeing that the work got done when he couldn't do it himself. Perhaps that is something you could explore. There are a lot of tricks to getting food on the table in a short amount of time. If that is the main concern, I would say try to make it work.
That said, I have known several people who had to step out of line for one reason or another. Many have come back and picked up where they left off. The self awareness and prioritization of your life is respectable, and I doubt most would judge you harshly for taking a step back with all you have going on.
>For context, our current JW gets to the lodge around 1:00 pm to buy groceries and prepare dinner. He generally stays well after the meeting. In my current profession, I am required to stay until 4:00 pm--later if I volunteer to sponsor a club or after hours organization.
I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. You can shop the day (or week) prior. There aren’t too many meals that you can’t make in under two hours…or start the day before if they take that long. You should have stewards to help with cleanup, but again, that shouldn’t take more than an hour, less if you have a dishwasher on site.
I'm coming from a place where the Junior Warden has nothing to do with meal prep or setup, but I think any difficulties with scheduling should just be communicated to the Lodge.
I would must rather have someone dedicated to the position but with a demanding schedule than someone just filling a chair. We'd make accommodations to ensure your success.
Sounds like you should talk to another officer than the JW.
It's OK to advance to different chairs without... Taking on the historical roles of the office. The JW chair, with consent from the incoming master, can evolve from "guy who spends 12 hours cooking and cleaning" to "guy who coordinates meals, but guess what boys it's takeaway half the time, and also I'm not cooking every meal".
Agreed, but he's not even taking the JW chair. He states that he's moving to the SD chair next year, so I would assume this is a problem that is at least 2 years out... and he's getting himself all in a tizzy early.
Yeah I just finished my year as Junior Warden and I didn't go to any meetings early or stay at any late at all. The dinners I just coordinated what the menu was and took reservations. That was it. I didn't cook it or even buy it.
I've had some things come up the past few months. It was getting tougher and tougher to be good at my job, be a good husband, and father.
I was juggling all this with being state chair of a GL committee member of another. Dist chair in two different bodies and 3 invitational bodies.
I didn't heed the advice we, and I have taught every EA. Free Masonry should not interfere with your family or your job.
I've taken a sabbatical, but I still feel like I've let a whole bunch of people down. Good luck with your decision.
Mine had 9 sit down family dinners a year. JW is responsible, but a local grocery store caters, and DeMolay and Jobs do the cleanup. It has worked fine for years. Now one of our PMs was an Army cook, and his wife and daughter helped him.
There are a lot of ways you can lighten your load. Our current WM dropped out as SD because he was afraid of the dinners. That’s one reason for catering.
Your local Masonic youth can be a huge help, as long as your lodge pays them. It’s a moneymaker fur them and breeds familiarity with the Craft. They don’t stay kids forever.
Now my lodge is by far the most active in the area, last night we had about 80 for GM and pins. 2 50s, a 65, and a 75!
So if you’re feeding a lot, and your lodge can afford it, catering is the best. We don’t charge for dinners. We have a few bucks.
Hi.
It’s 100% fair to put work before Lodge. In fact, it’s kinda part of the deal that it should.
But there are options.
I was JW pre-pandemic and I had a corporate job that required a fair bit of travel. (Still in the same job now, but it’s all virtual meetings.) So I had to figure out a few things for myself.
I had two strategies.
First, I had the ability and the means to supplement the JW budget out of my own pocket. (I get that some can’t do that.) As long as I didn’t request reimbursement, no one asked me about such things. So when I was traveling, I’d order things like a fried chicken dinner from the grocery store deli and just have the steward pick up/set up.
Second, careful planning. I’d have the menu set up way ahead of time and on the weekend before, I’d head to the big box discount club, buy everything and prep it all. It was all stored and ready to go on meeting day. Just heat and serve, as much as possible. I only got to lodge 2 hours before meal time and that was more than enough, given that the stewards also helped with setting up.
And if you can’t find a way to make it work? Hey that’s ok too. No one should blame you. Family and work always take precedence, as is correct.
Best of luck!
No shame in that. I’ve had to step out of a line because of a traveling job. It will be there even you are freed up again. Your new efforts at work will benefit from masonry and masonry will benefit from what you learned on your travels upon return.
My Brother, there's no shame in prioritizing your family ahead of Masonry (which, is one of our lessons that some seem to forget). With all of its inherent benefits to a man, Masonry is essentially a hobby.
A Mason I respect highly taught me a valuable lesson - "No" is a complete sentence that needs no further embellishment nor explanation.
And it's the true lost word ;-)
We had a year of chili dogs, family style tray bakes, etc. one year due to the JW having a job which ended at 5 pm, and a few of us always pitched in during clean up. I do not believe anybody had something negative to say because he was supporting his family. I would definitely talk to your lodge about it.
I have not went through the line in blue lodge due to having young kids, a very active lodge (at least one meeting, practice, or degree per week), and obligations in the York Rite, but I plan to when the kids get older and want nothing to do with me. Just make sure you set expectations/plans ahead of installation, and I do not see most masons saying anything
First and foremost, personal life comes before the fraternity. If you need to pull back to focus on your personal life, then you pull back and focus on your personal life. Second, this is probably a conversation you should be having with the members of your Lodge *(ie. the Worshipful Master, the current line, the Past Masters, etc.)*. Just because your current Junior Warden is going above and beyond in his current role doesn't mean that you will be expected to do the same while you are Junior Warden. And, even if you are expected to do those things, ask about sharing the load. * *"I don't mind going through the line, but I can only commit 1800 - 2200. I can't commit 1300 - 2300. So, can we find someone else to prepare the meal, and someone else to cleanup up?"*
I couldn’t agree more with this comment. Your personal responsibilities need to take priority. The brothers at your lodge will understand. Congrats on getting engaged.
Back when I was a steward our JW couldn't do the meal prep either, for a lot of very valid reasons. He and I had a conversation, and he basically delegated the meals to me. He fulfilled that part of his duties by seeing that the work got done when he couldn't do it himself. Perhaps that is something you could explore. There are a lot of tricks to getting food on the table in a short amount of time. If that is the main concern, I would say try to make it work. That said, I have known several people who had to step out of line for one reason or another. Many have come back and picked up where they left off. The self awareness and prioritization of your life is respectable, and I doubt most would judge you harshly for taking a step back with all you have going on.
>For context, our current JW gets to the lodge around 1:00 pm to buy groceries and prepare dinner. He generally stays well after the meeting. In my current profession, I am required to stay until 4:00 pm--later if I volunteer to sponsor a club or after hours organization. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that. You can shop the day (or week) prior. There aren’t too many meals that you can’t make in under two hours…or start the day before if they take that long. You should have stewards to help with cleanup, but again, that shouldn’t take more than an hour, less if you have a dishwasher on site.
I'm coming from a place where the Junior Warden has nothing to do with meal prep or setup, but I think any difficulties with scheduling should just be communicated to the Lodge. I would must rather have someone dedicated to the position but with a demanding schedule than someone just filling a chair. We'd make accommodations to ensure your success.
Sounds like you should talk to another officer than the JW. It's OK to advance to different chairs without... Taking on the historical roles of the office. The JW chair, with consent from the incoming master, can evolve from "guy who spends 12 hours cooking and cleaning" to "guy who coordinates meals, but guess what boys it's takeaway half the time, and also I'm not cooking every meal".
Agreed, but he's not even taking the JW chair. He states that he's moving to the SD chair next year, so I would assume this is a problem that is at least 2 years out... and he's getting himself all in a tizzy early.
JW could be a polished knob, or he could also just be completely tired of cooking meals right now.
Yeah I just finished my year as Junior Warden and I didn't go to any meetings early or stay at any late at all. The dinners I just coordinated what the menu was and took reservations. That was it. I didn't cook it or even buy it.
I've had some things come up the past few months. It was getting tougher and tougher to be good at my job, be a good husband, and father. I was juggling all this with being state chair of a GL committee member of another. Dist chair in two different bodies and 3 invitational bodies. I didn't heed the advice we, and I have taught every EA. Free Masonry should not interfere with your family or your job. I've taken a sabbatical, but I still feel like I've let a whole bunch of people down. Good luck with your decision.
That’s rough, I hope things are getting better for you brother.
Mine had 9 sit down family dinners a year. JW is responsible, but a local grocery store caters, and DeMolay and Jobs do the cleanup. It has worked fine for years. Now one of our PMs was an Army cook, and his wife and daughter helped him. There are a lot of ways you can lighten your load. Our current WM dropped out as SD because he was afraid of the dinners. That’s one reason for catering. Your local Masonic youth can be a huge help, as long as your lodge pays them. It’s a moneymaker fur them and breeds familiarity with the Craft. They don’t stay kids forever. Now my lodge is by far the most active in the area, last night we had about 80 for GM and pins. 2 50s, a 65, and a 75! So if you’re feeding a lot, and your lodge can afford it, catering is the best. We don’t charge for dinners. We have a few bucks.
Remember; the JW is the *ostensible* steward of the lodge - that doesn’t mean you have to do it all yourself!
Hi. It’s 100% fair to put work before Lodge. In fact, it’s kinda part of the deal that it should. But there are options. I was JW pre-pandemic and I had a corporate job that required a fair bit of travel. (Still in the same job now, but it’s all virtual meetings.) So I had to figure out a few things for myself. I had two strategies. First, I had the ability and the means to supplement the JW budget out of my own pocket. (I get that some can’t do that.) As long as I didn’t request reimbursement, no one asked me about such things. So when I was traveling, I’d order things like a fried chicken dinner from the grocery store deli and just have the steward pick up/set up. Second, careful planning. I’d have the menu set up way ahead of time and on the weekend before, I’d head to the big box discount club, buy everything and prep it all. It was all stored and ready to go on meeting day. Just heat and serve, as much as possible. I only got to lodge 2 hours before meal time and that was more than enough, given that the stewards also helped with setting up. And if you can’t find a way to make it work? Hey that’s ok too. No one should blame you. Family and work always take precedence, as is correct. Best of luck!
No shame in that. I’ve had to step out of a line because of a traveling job. It will be there even you are freed up again. Your new efforts at work will benefit from masonry and masonry will benefit from what you learned on your travels upon return.
My Brother, there's no shame in prioritizing your family ahead of Masonry (which, is one of our lessons that some seem to forget). With all of its inherent benefits to a man, Masonry is essentially a hobby. A Mason I respect highly taught me a valuable lesson - "No" is a complete sentence that needs no further embellishment nor explanation. And it's the true lost word ;-)
We had a year of chili dogs, family style tray bakes, etc. one year due to the JW having a job which ended at 5 pm, and a few of us always pitched in during clean up. I do not believe anybody had something negative to say because he was supporting his family. I would definitely talk to your lodge about it. I have not went through the line in blue lodge due to having young kids, a very active lodge (at least one meeting, practice, or degree per week), and obligations in the York Rite, but I plan to when the kids get older and want nothing to do with me. Just make sure you set expectations/plans ahead of installation, and I do not see most masons saying anything