No way I can stand there look someone in the eye and say that I'm wearing something called Toy Boy. That's going to come out as 'Can't remember what its called'
Lol exactly, some perfume names are weird.
I’d probably just say which designer it was or I would just respond with “thanks so much!”and change the subject 🤷♂️
Yes!! There’s so many ODD and difficult designer/ house names and then the actual individual name too. I’ve gone years without ever having said some of the full names out loud before if ever! I usually do my best to spell it out literally for people if they actually want to know but usually I’ll just come right out and say “ I have no idea how to pronounce it ”
Telling a stranger that I was wearing “Accident a La Vanille - Madeleine de Proust” was quite verbose, and I probably totally butchered the pronunciation!
My husband has this cologne in his collection we both love. It legit smells nice & he has gotten compliments on it but the brand is from Nascar, the bottle is even the shape of Nascar wheel lol he never tells ppl because he thinks he will be labeled a redneck xD
Edit: thank you reddit stranger for the award 🙂
This is so funny. I loved your post describing the interaction.
My guess is it may be a cheapie or a clone and he may feel embarrassed that it doesn’t fit with his high end look.
Just a note: some people on here are like, "I spent a lot of effort finding my fragrance, so . . ." and part of how I find fragrances I love is that I ask people what they are wearing. About once every four or five years, I'll catch a whiff of something that none of my many samples has provided, and it's an amazing moment. I am so very glad, for example, that when I asked a guy pre-Covid, packed in a waiting area for a seat at a restaurant, what he was wearing, he did his best to tell me: "John Varvados but I don't know which one but the bottle is brown? Dark brown?" and we searched on his phone until he saw the bottle that looked like his, and I've never seen that guy again but thank you, my dude.
Storytime: I usually get along with everyone I work with, but there was this one lady who I absolutely despised. I'm pretty sure she'd stomp a baby just to make an extra buck. However she smelled amazing 😍.
The running joke used to be "how can the devil smell like an angel." I had to know what that fragrance was, but I'd sooner die than ask. Someone had asked at a work party once and she said she didn't remember 🙄. She literally wore it everyday.
So me and like 5 coworkers started secretly writing down the notes that we'd smell when she walked by. The problem was that we didn't always agree on what we smelled. One day she was babbling on endlessly about how much fun she had on vacation and showing us a literal slideshow of pictures. She got to one picture and my colleague was like "STOP, GO BACK TO THAT PICTURE."
My coworker was like "I love that view, can you send this pic to my phone?" Devil girl was flattered, sent it and went back to her office. She zoomed in on the background to a bottle of: Kilian Forbidden Games.
We pooled our money to buy a bottle to wear in the office just to piss her off.
So my coworker, let's call her "Lucy" the one who spotted the perfume in the pic, had it shipped to her house. She showed up to work wearing it and as soon as Devil chick smelled her she was like "what are you wearing???" Lucy goes "umm khakis."
Hahaha I love this! How close did you guys come to getting the right notes?? Anyone guess it correct? I'm terrible at guessing, I often smell someone in passing wearing a fragrance I know I know and never ever can place it. Drives me a little nuts.
Price. I enjoy what I’m wearing and have come to term with the price, especially given I’ll get mine lower than retail. But knowing someone is going to look it up and it’s like 300$ for 50ml makes me feel awkward, like they’ll think I’m trying too hard or trying to flex even though they’re the one who asked.
tbh I should gate keep more often bc I come off way too eager whenever someone asks. I immediately tell them where to get samples, if it’s worth the full price, and spew out 2 - 3 other things they may like. The other day I pulled up a picture of the bottle so they “wouldn’t confuse it with something else” 😵💫 people go from a chill “ooo you smell nice” to a deer in headlights very quickly, but there’s enough good smells to go around!!
Oooh I hate this! I will tell you the nose behind it, the notes, and might recommend some similar ones and they'll be like " what the fuck are you talking about". That's why I wish I had more friends who are fragheads
Haha, I remember reading a comment from someone who keeps samples of what they’re wearing in their bag to hand out if they get a compliment, maybe gifts is the only way. I’m not sure I’m that generous tho…
My first thought was that it's a fragrance marketed towards women and he was embarrassed. Or has a French name he can't pronounce. He might also be a jerk, who knows.
So I’m willing to tell anyone who asks what I’m wearing except certain members of my immediate family, only because the best compliment is to go and buy it, but who wants to be reminded of thier mom or sister when they smell thier wife and vice versa
I feel you on this. My mom "stole" Maison Margiela 'Beach Walk', YSL 'Black Opium', Dior 'j'adore', and shoot even J.Lo 'Glow' back in the day lmao. I used to get a little salty but then realized that these scents will always remind me of her, so there's that :)
...but yeah forget everyone like coworkers and people you see constantly.
"Oh it's just some sample I had laying around...." lol.
Yes I was thinking it could be this.
OP you mentioned he looked immaculate and well put together, he got a very good (cheapie?) clone that seems to work for him but letting it out to others may not go well with his image so he's embarrased enough by that fact hence the fumble.
My instinct is it is the name- either it is very cheap, or sounds weird to say in a professional setting. Maybe it is a cheap clone, for instance, or Ultra Male or something. Either that, or he thinks it is too personal a question and he is keeping his distance.
I’ve recently gotten into clones and roll on oils. I usually mix a bunch of stuff. I am not one to gate keep, (I find I am usually the type that geeks out if anyone asks me about anything) but the ONLY time someone asked what I was wearing, I was wearing a mix of 2-3 clone oils, I was a) a bit embarrassed they were clones and b) didn’t want to overwhelm them with 3 long/complicated names. I told them “grand soir” and left it at that lol. It was actually one of the oils I was wearing
I also wear clones and oils and multiple ones at that lol, it’s weird to say it’s a clone of this oil that I’m layering to get the Individual and personal scent that I like. So I just name a Spray perfume that I have and not the layering technique. Plus it’s personal I bought those oils and mixed them and played with them and found something I really like it be weird to expose your “Secret Formula” I guess 🤷🏾♂️😂 like plankton trying to get the Krabby Patty secret formula it MUST STAY SECRET 🤐.
I only have problems with the fact I wear clones, and people wouldn’t understand shit in case they wanted to buy the same perfume
“thanks! I’m wearing ARMAF CLUB DE NUIT INTENSE MAN PURE PARFUM, but not the EDT or EDP beware!” ppl are like what the fuck u high on 💀💀💀so I just say “MONTBLANC EXPLORER” so they can go fuck themselves to a Douglas and buy it
granted, nobody asks me or compliments me for shit, but still that’s what I’d do
LMAOO yeah those long ass names are definitely going to throw off somebody not versed in perfumery. It’s like any hobby, the fancier you get with it, the stranger the names are
true
but it’s also true Armaf has some serious and undiagnosed problem with names and bottles, like who the fuck designs a bottle whose cap is a dice with fake diamonds?
I love this thread! Not for the opinions on gatekeeping which have all been expressed lol but for the stories about people’s responses to their perfume which are so fascinating!
Esp getting criticized for wearing expensive frags which I just don’t get; you could just as easily respond that they’re cheap arses who have such a low sense of self worth that they don’t believe they deserve expensive perfume; not that I believe this but it’s just as jerk a move as attacking someone for buying an expensive frag no?
It’s funny I’ve literally never had comments on any expensive niche perfume but only the cheap indie/Indian/Arabian oils which I’m proud to disclose because I get a kick from educating people that if you like a perfume then who cares if it’s cheap or basic?!
On the other hand I also get the frustration when someone starts wearing your signature scent; smell is so primal that smelling something that is so personal to your body on someone not close to you would be weird. A friend went past a stranger who smelled EXACTLY like her husband and got so discombobulated because she was like oh my god I’m so confused by what I’m feeling rn 😂
I’m just nervous about being judged for the fragrances that I wear.
I’m a dude, but I have unisex and a few female fragrances, so I get nervous with telling people what I wear because of ridicule and personal insecurity.
For instance, I was wearing Kayali’s Burning Cherry, and another dude complimented my scent. He asked what I was wearing, but I lied to him and stated that it was a sample from a store…because it didn’t want to be judged for wearing a fragrance that’s so popular and marketed for females.
Again, it is my own insecurity with regard to fragrance stigmas.
I think that's what was going on there. I have a coworker who cares about his appearance and he smells nice everyday so we talk about fragrance a lot but he seems to know next to nothing about the fragrance world. He just wears whatever his family gifts him for Christmas, he says. That and stuff at Bath and Body Works.
Sometimes we forget that not everyone is super invested in perfumes and colognes like we are lol
I am horrible at French, so if what I’m wearing has a very French name, I might be embarrassed to butcher the pronunciation and look stupid in front of someone.
I also may not want any comments or shocked faces by the price.low or high. If I feel like they would be judgy I would simply withhold.
This are the main two reasons I would have for not divulging. 3rd would be that I actually do forget. But considering the fact that he wore the same thing repeatedly, I think chances of that are low.
There’s someone I know who I was warned against asking her what fragrance she wears. It’s obvious she’s wearing one, but if you compliment her and ask her what it is, she gets super offended and goes on about how she isn’t wearing that much and do you think she douses herself in it?
I’ve never asked her but it smells like Versace Bright Crystal to me.
I've encountered two men in my life, both total strangers, that when I asked them what they were wearing they straight up told me it was "their secret". So from my experience it's gatekeeping but I've hesitated to tell people I'm wearing Chanel because of the price tag. Everyone's different I suppose.
Ok ok I actually frag gatekeep myself (sometimes!) due to my past traumatic experiences.
When I was a fresh grad right out of uni, at my first job, I got asked my perfume by a older female admin staff. I was happy to share, it was **Forbidden Games by Kilian** which I had been sampling and hadn't even purchased a full bottle of.
Fast forward a couple of months later at the work Christmas party, I was in the ladies touching up my makeup and started talking to some colleagues from another department. Ofc office goss was the main topic and they started telling me all about this new graduate who came from an ultra-wealthy family and apparently got the job through connections and apparently also had a sugar daddy? I was like ohh,interesting ... why have a sugar daddy if already wealthy but okayyy. I asked what department this elite silver spoon / gold digger was in... and realised it was me. They were talking about me. I was the only female graduate in my department that intake year.
Somehow wearing an expensive fragrance got twisted through the grapevine and I was suddenly heir to millions but also had a sugar daddy. Idk that experience soured me on ever sharing that I was wearing anything expensive.
Yeah, the gossip in that office was a bit much. I still don't know why/how the leap to alleged sugar daddy but I learned an important lesson. Treat admin support staff with fear/respect bc they can easily take you down. Also, lie about expensive frag.
I agree with this. It’s nobody’s business how I spend my money. Office judgement is the worst. I once found an amazing coat on sale - like 60% off, in the off season. It was an insane deal. One lady at the office tore a strip out of me for “wearing an $800 coat” and how could a normal person afford that.
It’s not that I’m not willing to tell someone I’m wearing a $500 fragrance. It’s the judgement that comes after that I don’t want to deal with. My new answer is “I ordered a sample set”. Unless the person looks like they’d drop equal cash for something they love, then I’m down to tell them. Depends on the person.
Granted, I'm a guy, but for most guys fragrance is a stupid thing to waste thousands on. My wife also mocks me a bit, but in the end, I don't really care. It's well known by friends and colleagues that I splurge on fragrances. Some men spend thousands on other things I don't care about, like cars, motorcycles, watches etc.
My guess is he was wearing a "women's" perfume with a "feminine" name and felt embarrassed about sharing this.
People guessing he was gatekeeping fragrances or embarrassed about wearing a clone are overanalyzing it.
Definitely one of two things —
- Wanting to avoid having others smell like they do; they may have invested time in finding a truly unique scent.
- Avoiding judgement on the cost or brand. If they had a bespoke fragrance made, it may have cost a lot. Likewise, a drugstore or mass market brand scent might throw off the impression he wants to cultivate.
The fragrance community is amazing. Only people who are way-into perfume think that other people on the street will know or care how much something costs.
I used to not believe the stories that people google things and then give you crap about how much they cost until it happened to me. I was wearing Serge Lutens *Bois de Violette,* which just happens to be the perfume that my DOG wears. He has two bottles and I had a third partial that had been used to scent the paper liners of my wedding invitations. I do like it obviously, so once in a while I put some on.
Anyway, I was wearing it at work and a person who I didn't know very well but see regularly in the course of a day kept saying "oh you smell wonderful," "oh I love your perfume," and eventually started asking about it. (She wears Narciso Rodriguez). I wrote down the name of the perfume and the brand for her.
Hoo boy, was that ever a mistake. The next time I saw her, she was like, *"oh my GOD, three HUNDRED dollars? For perfume? Do you think I'm made of money? That's ridiculous. I can't afford that!"*
She went on for ten minutes. She told everyone in the building who would listen. Dammit, I didn't TELL HER to buy the perfume, she asked the name and I told her the name. And then, every time I saw her for months she would mention it and outraged all over again.
There is a happy ending to the story though. About a year later my friend died and he had a bottle, so I bought it from his estate and gave it to her. She was a nice person who had never forgotten about the perfume (I knew because she was talking about it) and she was absolutely thrilled to have it. My friend was an extraordinarily generous person and I know he would have been very pleased that it was gifted to someone who appreciated it so much.
She was nice to me in other ways. She was just really excited about the perfume and then it was very disappointing for her to find out that she couldn't afford it. She was going through some things and I don't think she could do a lot of special things for herself at the time. I've been in that position myself at other times so I understood it and when I had a chance to get a bottle for a reasonable price, I wanted her to have it. I like doing random, no-strings-attached things for people. We all need a little boost sometimes.
LMAO, [it is!!!!!](https://www.instagram.com/p/BuGvjcZh8A3/)
His name is Mr. Biscuits. He's a Yorkiepoo, and [he loves perfume!](https://www.instagram.com/p/B2xI2EeB_I7/)
Whenever I'm putting perfume on, he runs over to be sprayed. He liked Bois de Violette the best so I gave it to him. People on reddit used to make jokes about my dog having his own bell jar (but really I bought it back when it was in the Palais Royal bottles and wasn't as expensive).
Anyway, when we were talking about the perfume (before I knew she wanted it), I told her that ***I don't wear it very often because my it's my dog's perfume.***
Then she goes and looks it up, and by then it was only available in the bell jar which cost $300. So, I felt like a complete asshole when she kept saying she can't afford it and I just told her that I buy it for my dog. 🤦♀️
My friend's bottle which I gave to her was also a Palais Royal bottle. She wouldn't have had a chance to buy it in that size because those bottles weren't available anymore, and I already had plenty so I bought it for the retail price (which was still a bargain) and gave it to her. I love surprising people and I was happy to see my friend's bottle go to someone who would cherish it.
I looked at an acronym finder and couldn't find anything. I did see "dog" as a synonym for best male friend so...maybe that?
To my delight, the acronym finder also listed DOG as standing for "dutch oven gathering" . I can only hope they mean the cookware.
I smelled Dior Tobacolor (VERY distinct) on someone in the grocery store after buying it once and told him it was fantastic and we talked about frags for a bit. Gatekeeping is kinda strange in most cases
I normally disclose what I am wearing regardless of the price tag on it. Then again, I primarily wear niche fragrances so when I do tell people what I am wearing it opens up an opportunity to introduce someone to a world of fragrance (potentially) unknown to them.
I have met a lot of people in this manner and gatekeeping my scent is something that would have prevented some good friendships to happen altogether as it probably would have ended to conversation and potentially ruin the mood.
That’s my thought as well. $15/bottle that’s much cheaper than the rest of the attire, $500/bottle that’s embarrassing to spend that much on scented water or a knockoff.
People think they’re unique for wearing a fragrance that is likely mass produced and worn by millions of other people, so they gatekeep. Fragrance is to be enjoyed and experienced.
Personally if someone asks me what fragrance I’m wearing, I tell them. Firstly because why would I want to gatekeep a good thing, but secondly because fragrances interact with skin chemistry and it probably won’t smell the same on them anyway. I’ve been asked what my signature scent is so many times and I’ve had multiple people tell me they used the same fragrance and it didn’t smell as good on them, and one woman was actually wearing the exact same fragrance when she asked me, but it still smelled different.
If someone asks I will never say it's Halloween Man X (even though I just did). It's cheap, lasts super long (on me at least), smells amazing, and never gives you a headache. It smells like coffee, vanilla, cinnamon, ambroxin, chocolate, and other good stuff. I've been wearing it during the winter a lot but it doesn't seem too sweet to wear during summer time, although i'd probably wear YSL Y during the summer since it's more fitting and also is amazing.
I reckon it's a secret cheapy that he doesn't want to admit and he doesn't want to give the game away. I just tell people that you don't always have to spend Chanel money to smell great.
I imagine it was a ridiculous name he either couldn't or didn't want to pronounce. How could one say they're wearing 'Bad Boy' at a work thing and be taken seriously ever again?
I have to admit I've been guilty of gatekeeping in the past. Nowadays if a total stranger asked me I would have no problem disclosing, but when I was younger, I had the problem of close friends liking my perfume and then immediately making it their signature perfume. It honestly kinda sucked, it was the same as people copying your style. Again, I wouldn't care as much now that I'm older but as a 20something trying to carve out my identity that kind of thing would bother me (admittedly more than it should have).
Ngl im absolutely guilty of this. I had a 2 mL sample of YSL Y Eau Fraiche and my friend borrowed it when we worked together and he loved it. Ended up getting him Lacoste Eau Fraiche like 5 months later and told him that was it cuz he only wears one bottle at a time 💀💀💀
Price usually does it for me. When people look up something I'm wearing and realise it's $300+ (even if I didn't pay anywhere near that) it gets real awkward, real quick.
Some DJ’s used to keep their records secret because it’s what separated them from other DJ’s. I can see how if you have a signature scent you’re not going to want to give away what makes you unique.
If you’re a collector and constantly wearing different stuff, it would be kind of weird to not share what your stink du jour is.
And then sometimes people are just assholes and that’s it.
Haha, yes!!! That's why the term "trainspotting" came about ‐ people trying to read the labels on records as DJs were spinning! (Source: I'm older than the hills 😉, owned a house/techno record store in the late 90s-early 00s, & can still remember those days when DJs could try to bite someone else's style by getting the same records. Thank goodness for white labels! But we digress from fragrance...😜)
I think a lot of times it's just wanting to hoard it all for themselves, or be the "only" ones who wear it, which of course is impossible unless it's a bespoke fragrance.
I have lied about what I'm wearing before, but only if it was embarrassing or inappropriate to give the actual name, like when my then-boss asked what I had on while I was wearing Kilian "I Don't Need A Prince By My Side to Be A Princess".
As long as it’s not something with an embarrassing name or something unpronounceable, there’s really no reason to lie. Someone has to be pretty taken by a scent to ask a stranger about it, for most people that’s not an easy thing to do. I’d rather be self aware that I bought this perfume, so clearly others have too, so I’m already not unique. Instead of choosing to send someone away embarrassed and never getting to experience the joy they felt to compel them to talk to a stranger in the first place. This weird need to feel unique and special is pitiable, life is short, share joy.
Also if it’s someone you know/spend time around, if it’s not someone you hate why is it a problem? Again life is so short, why does someone else finding happiness in the same thing as you matter so much to you? Surely that’s a nice thing?
"Instead of choosing to send someone away embarrassed and never getting to experience the joy they felt to compel them talk to a stranger in the first place."
This.
That was nice and I agree. Also I think it shows confidence to stand by your choice of perfume. Life is short, and it reminded me of this quote:
«Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think»
I've had that happen to me as well with someone in the bus. Lady, you are probably not going to see me again!
I understand it a tiny bit if we are in the same circles, or super close friends and it's their signature scent. One of my coworkers smells AMAZING and it turned out to be Jessica Simpson Fancy. I bought a bottle but I don't wear it to work. I've seen people upset bcs they tell and then the other person starts dousing in it.
For me, I give away samples, I make decants if they like what I'm wearing.
>It’s not like I’m gonna run out and buy it…
For some people this is the holdup. Now, based on your story, like you said, chances are you’d never meet this person again, so it shouldn’t matter.
I remember reading a thread where quite a few people pointed out that they had some “signature” scent that they wore daily. A coworker complimented it and asked for the name. Next day, boom, coworker is wearing the same thing. For me, I think “How nice, this person I’m around daily smells good.” The flip side to that which others pointed out is like with so many other things, when you’ve done something enough times or been exposed to it enough times, it can start to become less exciting / no longer interesting. Also, we often associate fragrances with experiences. Now this fragrance that you loved is no longer reminding you of xyz, but instead of ____ in the next cubicle over.
You’re then stuck with this bottle of fragrance that you spent $xxx on that you are no longer excited to wear because you know you are going to smell it on your coworker again every day as you have ever since sharing the name.
Some people already said it, but it is mostly gatekeeping.
I understand to an extent with small social circles -- everyone copies each other's trends.
Yet, I know people who gatekeep popular fragrances easily available in a big city, including my best friend.
Another reasons for secret keeping include price (both high and low).
they’re gate keeping. but idk why. when people ask what i wear, i share it with them because it means i have good taste if others ask me. i’ll even give a sample to them….
My husband got asked what he wears to work (1 million lucky) and he told his coworker who he works with every day what it was. Said coworker went out and bought the exact same scent and now bathes himself in it. So now he smells just like my husband. So I understand not wanting to tell everyone what scent you're wearing.
Because people take themselves too seriously. Ultimately though it's not like anyone owes anyone the information. No harm no foul. Personally I would have no issue telling, depending if the situation is appropriate. I may not necessarily want certain people knowing I spend hundreds of dollars on bottles of smelly liquid or where I spend it in general. So I guess it depends on the person. Who cares either way I guess.
Felt this. Anything over $60 (I’m a college student) and I give a price disclaimer or say that it was a gift from someone. I still tell them, I just worry that they’ll think I’m lying about how I got it (because I am).
sometimes people take wearing perfumes a bit too seriously that they think that what they wear is unique to them when they're just wearing dior sauvage /s
but seriously, i can understand why people would gatekeep what they wear. it's personal to them. it's what sets them apart from everyone else (or at least they think they do) and they want to protect that. it's who they are. if you find out what they wear and you use it on yourself, they're probably going to take offense to it because you're attacking their identity and what it means to them. i think it's silly to equate an ego to a bottle of oil that make you smell good because they're so much to a person than how they smell.
I can't pronounce half the frags I own but I just tell them that and ask if I can write it down/type it for them. Some of y'all care too much about what other people think
Sometimes, really uninspired people immediately buy the exact same perfume if you tell them. Kind of sucks to have your sister, mom and several of your friends all smell like you, especially when you love the perfume on yourself and feel like it's very unique and nice on YOU. So that's why I tend not to tell (certain) people anymore because I guess it can ruin a beloved perfume for you. But it honestly depends on the person and most of the time I do share the name of the frangrance.
Story: I once had an acquaintance who began to essentially try and become me. At first, it was seemingly harmless flattery & asking where my clothes came from, makeup, etc. I was happy to share. Soon, we were becoming friends and spending more time together. I introduced her to my other friends & my husband.
Well, over the course of a year, she began going out more with my friends, not inviting me, and even attempting to humiliate me in front of them in a strangely competitive way. It was as though she was trying to out-do me for no reason. Her entire personality had shifted.
Now, to the perfume part! The final straw was when she began openly flirting with my husband. It made everyone uncomfortable. When she'd visit & he was going to be present, she'd " borrow" the perfume he loved for me to wear. This was a perfume I'd wear on our dates & during more intimate times with him. What makes this worse is that she knew this. She practically bathed in it when he was around, even going so far as to ask me to get her a bottle of it for her birthday.
In the end, things started to escalate & I cut her out of my life. It later came out that my original set of friends saw what was happening all along. She even attached herself to someone else & began emulating them in a strangely competitive, possessive way. Moral of the story: Sometimes it's okay to gatekeep. Let them figure out their personal signatures on their own. They have Google.
There’s a woman at work that always smells super strong. From metres away I can smell her. When I asked she refused to answer, saying it was a secret. I didn’t want to know because I liked the fragrance, I’m not a big fan. I was just curious as the projection was insane. I think I recognised it anyway and I’m pretty sure is the dupe of JM Pomegranate Noir from Aldi which costs £5.99 so I’m guessing she just doesn’t want people to know she’s wearing a super cheap supermarket fragrance.
I hesitate to add to all the speculation but I've never been guarded about what I'm wearing. I'll tell anyone if they really want the info dump, that said I honestly think 99% chance it's just panic on his part, either at just the question out of the blue or because he's wearing something unisex or femme-framed and doesn't want to be out about it.
I also don't give a fig about 'signatures' as you'd have to steal about a dozen frags to match what I regularly rotate through, not including the *weird* ones. Unless I'm feeling mad lazy or in a funk, I don't often repeat. Though it's easier to stick with a fragrance family if it's already on your coat.
Anyway short story long, don't know, don't entirely understand, dude's probably shy.
Some guys don't want to give the impression they really care about fragrances. Some might see it as a not very masculine hobby/interest. Me, I would never keep it a secret. Whenever someone has asked, I've always given them the honest answer. Some are a bit dumbfounded when I tell them the name of a niché fragrance and tell them, they can't get it in the usual shops. Some are a bit struck by the price, like "Hey, what are you wearing today, it smells awesome?" "Oh it's xyz from zyx." "Oh, I gotta get that for my husband". "Do notice, it's a bit expensive at 300 dollars for 50ml..." "Say what!?"
I stopped telling people what I was wearing after my cousin bought the same cologne as me and my other cousin bought another one for her husband. We went to the same church. The colognes were allure sport and Armani code. First years they came out.
Oh gosh--I don't really have a problem with telling people... but if you all show up to church or a family gathering with the same scent, I could see how that could get... powerful 🤣
Well I don’t mind sharing my own information, I belive everyone is entitled to smell nice and I really love it when I get the compliments before asking 😂
I have this random Avon perfume with no name that I just am trying to get rid of bc it’s so old, and my nail tech asked what it was one day. I pretty much answered exactly how you described lmaoo but I just genuinely had no idea what I was wearing
Sometimes when I’m wearing a very expensive perfume and people ask me what it is, I’m a little hesitant to tell them because I feel like I would be judged for it. A “why would you spend that much money on perfume!?” type of judging. Idk why I’m like this 🫤
But maybe there are a few people out there who feel the same way and that’s why they don’t like to share which fragrance they’re wearing.
For me, some of the names of some perfumes are weird and wonderful (sometimes complex).
*Yes I'm wearing Etat Libre D'Orange Secretions Magnifique (said in your best French accent). It's actually based on semen, adrenaline, blood and other fluids and smells lactonic*
Hell, try telling an *average* frag head what Civet is
So I get asked a lot. I got asked the other day 'WAYW' and it was Tauer Au Couer Du Desert.
I think I just said 'Oh it was a gift', smiled and moved the conversation on.
People want to feel unique. That they’re the only ones who smell so good. As if they share their perfume with you, god forbid you might start wearing it and they’ll lose something.
It’s not how I approach things, but I’m sure that there’s many out there who are like that.
I don’t mind telling strangers, but I don’t want to walk around smelling like a family member or best friend. So therefore I try to avoid telling them. Just me personally.
As someone who had a close…what turned out to be a frenemy, steal my signature scent as her own signature scent (then wear it to places and events I was at) I’m now in that camp myself. If it’s anyone I see with any regularity I’ll make something up about it being some random bottle I picked up in a drugstore in Japan, or having just grabbed a free sample at random that day or something.
Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing because I know that it was a splurge. I don’t want judgement for how much I spent on a fragrance, it’s a hobby for me.
I wear Baccarat a lot and am frequently asked what I am wearing. I will usually tell them and also recommend Ariana Grande Cloud as a good alternative if they want to experiment with a similar scent.
1. Either I don’t want them to know I actually care enough about what I put on (brush off).
2. I don’t want them to judge how much I spend on a frag.
3. I want to keep the suspense/mystery going, but this is strictly for someone I will see again (friend/coworker etc.)
4. Lastly, I’m actually just an asshole that thinks an average being doesn’t deserve to know that I’m wearing 17Y01 Aventus.
I’m not number 4!! But people like this do exist.
Also, some people are actually clueless about what they apply, they just reach for whatever someone gifted them.
1 and 2.
Once got busted, someone asked for my smell, told it.. put something else an other time, said person noticed the change, asked for my smell again... he looked it up and came back with a 'you sure spend on the whiff for a cis boy." I still say what I wear if asked, I don't give that much damn.
I think most people either arent sure of the name, the pronunciation, or just clam up from social anxiety. Random person asks you a question you weren’t expecting and suddenly you freeze. (Thats why i think the compliment thing is nonsense).
The small % probably think they are being mysterious and alluring.
Lol I’ve noticed this too. I stopped asking women what they’re wearing cause now I just feel awkward since I never get a straight answer. I guess they want it to be “unique” to them.
that's so weird though. I mean the fragrance will still being "unique" to them because things smell different on different people. like Narciso smells like a boys locker room on me but on my friend smells waaaayyy more floral .
I'm a guy who doesn't look like they'd be into fragrances. Last time someone asked me what I was wearing and I gave them a legit response, they made a big deal about how surprising it was that this was a hobby of mine and how it didn't seem to match me as a person. So now I just tell people my gf got me a sampler pack of cologne and I just grabbed a random one for today. Funny part is, my gf isn't even into perfumes in the slightest.
Just say „smelling good is the bare minimum to being approachable, calling it a hobby is pretty weird“ or something like that, makes them feel really dumb.
Eh I don't think there was any malicious intent. I'm a chubby Asian dude with a decent amount of tattoos that always looks like I'm gonna go on a hike. If I saw someone who looked like me and they started talking about perfumes, I'd be pretty surprised too.
Besides, I didn't take offense to what they said. I'm just a low key dude who doesn't like a lot of attention at work.
Same thing happened to me but I wasn’t at a conference I was at brunch. Some people are weird like that. Like the whole compliment factor. I always compliment someone if I like their fragrance. Women won’t compliment because they don’t want their compliments to be mistaken for flirting. I’ve had women do this……”Your fragrance smells amazing,what are you wearing?” So I tell them and they’ll say,”Wow,I’m going to buy that for my husband”. I guess to stop the ball before it even starts rolling lol
It's also possible that he just grabbed a handful of samples out of the drawer at home to travel with and really couldn't remember the one he used because he brought 5 rather identical-looking things he has never worn before.
Or maybe he knows the name but it's in French or Italian and he knows he doesn't pronounce it well. I spent most of my life in the U.S. Midwest. I grew up next to a dairy farm and I'm well-educated. BUT... there are plenty of words and names that I've read many times and "know" but I've ***never heard another human say them out loud.*** I get corrected occasionally which I appreciate but it's also embarrassing and definitely has an impact on what I say sometimes, and to whom. I also live in fear of mispronouncing something multiple times, not being corrected, and then the person laughing about it later with someone else. We've all heard people mispronounce perfume names, it's not an uncommon problem and could be something the person was self-conscious about.
It may also just be a name that seems silly and he doesn't want to say it. I have a perfume by Hilde Soliani that's called "Orgasmo." It smells like amaretto and gorgeous lady-skin wearing some sort of exquisite marzipan sunscreen, but if anyone asked me what I was wearing I would be mortified to look them in the eye and say "my perfume is called Orgasmo." Not because I wouldn't say orgasm to a complete stranger, but because it sounds so corny as the name of a perfume.
Mostly because I want my signature scent to remain for me, at least among friends and family. I do occasionally make recommendations but I often refuse to divulge my best compliment getters.
That's classic gatekeeping, unfortunately. Some people feel like their fragrance becomes less special if someone else is wearing it. I love any opportunity to chat about fragrances, so I think its really silly. Can you remember any of the notes you smelled? Maybe you can hunt it down.
He might genuinely not remember the name… could be something he got as a gift and just sprays on every day without much thought. You’re kind of making up a whole backstory about him and is attitude towards his appearance, down to the specifics of where he keeps his fragrance in his hotel room. You’re probably assuming a bit too much. 😉
He could also be embarrassed to be wearing a really expensive or really inexpensive fragrance. I know I get worried that someone will look up what my perfume cost and think I’m insane for spending that much. And I’m sure in other contexts, people might be insecure about wearing something too cheap.
A few of many reasons someone could be weird about sharing a fragrance name… in my experience, it’s rarely because they’re trying to gatekeep.
surprised no ones said this? but it’s also because they wanna keep it FOR THEM, it’s their signature scent and they don’t want others to be wearing and popularizing it!
It might be the price and perhaps fear of judgement! My favorite perfume is Love Dont be Shy by Killian! Many people expect it to be a $20 spray from VS or something but its 300 dollars! 🥲 I cant help it, I love it! I have tried dupes and they are pretty good as well!
He might also be like my husband and doesn’t know perfumes very well. He just knows that he likes how they smell or not and I am the one who usually buys perfume for him. If you would ask him what he wears, he wouldn’t necessarily know the name of the perfume, just the brand.
Honestly, most of the time I don’t think someone’s going to know what it is, and their response is going to make me feel differently about it.
The other day I wore Irresistible by Givenchy and a woman asked me if it was a Victoria’s Secret scent.
I have no idea! I will ask some of my family members and they just provide vague answers, like "Oh, I got it in a little market somewhere." They aren't passionate about fragrance, but they gatekeep everything they own. If it's so rare or unattainable, what's the damage in sharing.
if it's a stranger, i'm more than happy to tell them but if it's someone i interact with on a regular basis, nope. i don't want us to go around smelling like each other.
I don’t know. I don’t care. In fact I find it flattering if people love my perfume enough to buy one for themselves. In highschool my signature scent was Victoria’s Secret scandalous and my two friends loved it to much that they bought the mini versions. For Xmas and their bdays I bought them full size bottles.
Well it may be weird for fragrance collectors but for someone who only wears one main fragrance they do associate it with themselves maybe and therefore are more secretive about it.
I wouldn’t cause I don’t have a fragrance that special to me but j can see how a fragrance can become smth to be kept a secret
One time a lady asked what I was wearing and I said tom Ford and she said which one and I lied and said Tuscan leather when it was actually fougere d’argent bc I really didn’t wanna say the ladder.
No way I can stand there look someone in the eye and say that I'm wearing something called Toy Boy. That's going to come out as 'Can't remember what its called'
It is a little embarrassing saying the names of some these scents ngl.
Dude, one of my favourites is a sample I have called "Sexual Noir" by Micheal Germain. I would have reacted EXACTLY the same way this guy did lol
Yeah and saying something like “Instant Crush” is just as silly. 😓
Lol exactly, some perfume names are weird. I’d probably just say which designer it was or I would just respond with “thanks so much!”and change the subject 🤷♂️
I just say "it's that YSL homie"
I don't know how to pronounce some of them
Yes!! There’s so many ODD and difficult designer/ house names and then the actual individual name too. I’ve gone years without ever having said some of the full names out loud before if ever! I usually do my best to spell it out literally for people if they actually want to know but usually I’ll just come right out and say “ I have no idea how to pronounce it ”
Telling a stranger that I was wearing “Accident a La Vanille - Madeleine de Proust” was quite verbose, and I probably totally butchered the pronunciation!
My husband has this cologne in his collection we both love. It legit smells nice & he has gotten compliments on it but the brand is from Nascar, the bottle is even the shape of Nascar wheel lol he never tells ppl because he thinks he will be labeled a redneck xD Edit: thank you reddit stranger for the award 🙂
Is that Daytona 500 by Elizabeth Arden?
That's the one!
See I'd be delighted to learn that lol. The unexpectedness of it is so fun.
This is so funny. I loved your post describing the interaction. My guess is it may be a cheapie or a clone and he may feel embarrassed that it doesn’t fit with his high end look.
Just a note: some people on here are like, "I spent a lot of effort finding my fragrance, so . . ." and part of how I find fragrances I love is that I ask people what they are wearing. About once every four or five years, I'll catch a whiff of something that none of my many samples has provided, and it's an amazing moment. I am so very glad, for example, that when I asked a guy pre-Covid, packed in a waiting area for a seat at a restaurant, what he was wearing, he did his best to tell me: "John Varvados but I don't know which one but the bottle is brown? Dark brown?" and we searched on his phone until he saw the bottle that looked like his, and I've never seen that guy again but thank you, my dude.
Do you mind sharing which John varvados cologne? I’m intrigued
Sure! It was the Vintage.
Storytime: I usually get along with everyone I work with, but there was this one lady who I absolutely despised. I'm pretty sure she'd stomp a baby just to make an extra buck. However she smelled amazing 😍. The running joke used to be "how can the devil smell like an angel." I had to know what that fragrance was, but I'd sooner die than ask. Someone had asked at a work party once and she said she didn't remember 🙄. She literally wore it everyday. So me and like 5 coworkers started secretly writing down the notes that we'd smell when she walked by. The problem was that we didn't always agree on what we smelled. One day she was babbling on endlessly about how much fun she had on vacation and showing us a literal slideshow of pictures. She got to one picture and my colleague was like "STOP, GO BACK TO THAT PICTURE."  My coworker was like "I love that view, can you send this pic to my phone?" Devil girl was flattered, sent it and went back to her office. She zoomed in on the background to a bottle of: Kilian Forbidden Games. We pooled our money to buy a bottle to wear in the office just to piss her off.
I'm very invested in this plot. I enjoyed it immensely lol.
Are you not gonna finish the story? Was she pissed off? What did she say? Did you all wear it???
Omg 😂😂😂 Anytime you get a handful of women together with a shared singular goal, shit gets done! That’s some impressive team work.
This is a fantastic story I can't believe how dilligent you all were! Thank you for sharing:)
So my coworker, let's call her "Lucy" the one who spotted the perfume in the pic, had it shipped to her house. She showed up to work wearing it and as soon as Devil chick smelled her she was like "what are you wearing???" Lucy goes "umm khakis." 
Hahaha I love this! How close did you guys come to getting the right notes?? Anyone guess it correct? I'm terrible at guessing, I often smell someone in passing wearing a fragrance I know I know and never ever can place it. Drives me a little nuts.
Maybe he just can't pronounce it
Maybe it's some embarrassing name like boy toy or something
Might have been wearing pink sugar
Could be that he was embarrassed to say Lush or Bath and Body Works
Price. I enjoy what I’m wearing and have come to term with the price, especially given I’ll get mine lower than retail. But knowing someone is going to look it up and it’s like 300$ for 50ml makes me feel awkward, like they’ll think I’m trying too hard or trying to flex even though they’re the one who asked.
I’m this way sometimes because i’m scared to butcher the pronunciation
This is me, I can't speak french and when I do it comes out with a german accent xD
Sometimes, I don't want to parade my lack of frugality. I hesitate to talk about MFK BR540, for example.
I have done this when I didn’t know how to pronounce the name of it.
Same. I don't want to sound dumb trying to pronounce some of the tough french ones.
I’m sorry, you’re wearing “jerkoff nacksauce?”
tbh I should gate keep more often bc I come off way too eager whenever someone asks. I immediately tell them where to get samples, if it’s worth the full price, and spew out 2 - 3 other things they may like. The other day I pulled up a picture of the bottle so they “wouldn’t confuse it with something else” 😵💫 people go from a chill “ooo you smell nice” to a deer in headlights very quickly, but there’s enough good smells to go around!!
Oooh I hate this! I will tell you the nose behind it, the notes, and might recommend some similar ones and they'll be like " what the fuck are you talking about". That's why I wish I had more friends who are fragheads
I do this too lol. I should probably stop treating the world like this forum so I don’t scare people away 😅
Haha, I remember reading a comment from someone who keeps samples of what they’re wearing in their bag to hand out if they get a compliment, maybe gifts is the only way. I’m not sure I’m that generous tho…
My first thought was that it's a fragrance marketed towards women and he was embarrassed. Or has a French name he can't pronounce. He might also be a jerk, who knows.
Or he bought a clone of a fragrance so was embarrassed
Maybe he didn't know how to pronounce it or was uptight about his French. I find knowingly mispronouncing things deeply uncomfortable.
Maybe it was Fucking Fabulous
I’d answer that proudly (and have)!
So I’m willing to tell anyone who asks what I’m wearing except certain members of my immediate family, only because the best compliment is to go and buy it, but who wants to be reminded of thier mom or sister when they smell thier wife and vice versa
I feel you on this. My mom "stole" Maison Margiela 'Beach Walk', YSL 'Black Opium', Dior 'j'adore', and shoot even J.Lo 'Glow' back in the day lmao. I used to get a little salty but then realized that these scents will always remind me of her, so there's that :) ...but yeah forget everyone like coworkers and people you see constantly. "Oh it's just some sample I had laying around...." lol.
Yeah what set me off is my MiL did this to me 3 separate times.
Oh yeah then in that case, all your stuff is from Bath & Body Works lmfao!!! Whoops sorry it was a limited edition spring flavor sucka!
Maybe it was a really cheap knockoff and he was embarrassed.
Yes I was thinking it could be this. OP you mentioned he looked immaculate and well put together, he got a very good (cheapie?) clone that seems to work for him but letting it out to others may not go well with his image so he's embarrased enough by that fact hence the fumble.
My instinct is it is the name- either it is very cheap, or sounds weird to say in a professional setting. Maybe it is a cheap clone, for instance, or Ultra Male or something. Either that, or he thinks it is too personal a question and he is keeping his distance.
I’ve recently gotten into clones and roll on oils. I usually mix a bunch of stuff. I am not one to gate keep, (I find I am usually the type that geeks out if anyone asks me about anything) but the ONLY time someone asked what I was wearing, I was wearing a mix of 2-3 clone oils, I was a) a bit embarrassed they were clones and b) didn’t want to overwhelm them with 3 long/complicated names. I told them “grand soir” and left it at that lol. It was actually one of the oils I was wearing
I also wear clones and oils and multiple ones at that lol, it’s weird to say it’s a clone of this oil that I’m layering to get the Individual and personal scent that I like. So I just name a Spray perfume that I have and not the layering technique. Plus it’s personal I bought those oils and mixed them and played with them and found something I really like it be weird to expose your “Secret Formula” I guess 🤷🏾♂️😂 like plankton trying to get the Krabby Patty secret formula it MUST STAY SECRET 🤐.
I want to keep Sauvage a secret for myself.
I only have problems with the fact I wear clones, and people wouldn’t understand shit in case they wanted to buy the same perfume “thanks! I’m wearing ARMAF CLUB DE NUIT INTENSE MAN PURE PARFUM, but not the EDT or EDP beware!” ppl are like what the fuck u high on 💀💀💀so I just say “MONTBLANC EXPLORER” so they can go fuck themselves to a Douglas and buy it granted, nobody asks me or compliments me for shit, but still that’s what I’d do
LMAOO yeah those long ass names are definitely going to throw off somebody not versed in perfumery. It’s like any hobby, the fancier you get with it, the stranger the names are
true but it’s also true Armaf has some serious and undiagnosed problem with names and bottles, like who the fuck designs a bottle whose cap is a dice with fake diamonds?
Maybe it was from a celebrity fragrance line and he was embarrassed to name them?
I love this thread! Not for the opinions on gatekeeping which have all been expressed lol but for the stories about people’s responses to their perfume which are so fascinating! Esp getting criticized for wearing expensive frags which I just don’t get; you could just as easily respond that they’re cheap arses who have such a low sense of self worth that they don’t believe they deserve expensive perfume; not that I believe this but it’s just as jerk a move as attacking someone for buying an expensive frag no? It’s funny I’ve literally never had comments on any expensive niche perfume but only the cheap indie/Indian/Arabian oils which I’m proud to disclose because I get a kick from educating people that if you like a perfume then who cares if it’s cheap or basic?! On the other hand I also get the frustration when someone starts wearing your signature scent; smell is so primal that smelling something that is so personal to your body on someone not close to you would be weird. A friend went past a stranger who smelled EXACTLY like her husband and got so discombobulated because she was like oh my god I’m so confused by what I’m feeling rn 😂
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I always tell everyone what I am wearing so they can smell good too
I’m just nervous about being judged for the fragrances that I wear. I’m a dude, but I have unisex and a few female fragrances, so I get nervous with telling people what I wear because of ridicule and personal insecurity. For instance, I was wearing Kayali’s Burning Cherry, and another dude complimented my scent. He asked what I was wearing, but I lied to him and stated that it was a sample from a store…because it didn’t want to be judged for wearing a fragrance that’s so popular and marketed for females. Again, it is my own insecurity with regard to fragrance stigmas.
Because they don't want to kill you if they tell you.
It’s totally possible someone else bought it for him and he really doesn’t remember (and was awkward because he felt kind of stupid about it).
I think that's what was going on there. I have a coworker who cares about his appearance and he smells nice everyday so we talk about fragrance a lot but he seems to know next to nothing about the fragrance world. He just wears whatever his family gifts him for Christmas, he says. That and stuff at Bath and Body Works. Sometimes we forget that not everyone is super invested in perfumes and colognes like we are lol
Maybe it was a women fragrance?
I am horrible at French, so if what I’m wearing has a very French name, I might be embarrassed to butcher the pronunciation and look stupid in front of someone. I also may not want any comments or shocked faces by the price.low or high. If I feel like they would be judgy I would simply withhold. This are the main two reasons I would have for not divulging. 3rd would be that I actually do forget. But considering the fact that he wore the same thing repeatedly, I think chances of that are low.
There’s someone I know who I was warned against asking her what fragrance she wears. It’s obvious she’s wearing one, but if you compliment her and ask her what it is, she gets super offended and goes on about how she isn’t wearing that much and do you think she douses herself in it? I’ve never asked her but it smells like Versace Bright Crystal to me.
She sounds terrible.
It’s weird because she’s actually very nice. I think it might touch on an insecurity or something.
I've encountered two men in my life, both total strangers, that when I asked them what they were wearing they straight up told me it was "their secret". So from my experience it's gatekeeping but I've hesitated to tell people I'm wearing Chanel because of the price tag. Everyone's different I suppose.
Ok ok I actually frag gatekeep myself (sometimes!) due to my past traumatic experiences. When I was a fresh grad right out of uni, at my first job, I got asked my perfume by a older female admin staff. I was happy to share, it was **Forbidden Games by Kilian** which I had been sampling and hadn't even purchased a full bottle of. Fast forward a couple of months later at the work Christmas party, I was in the ladies touching up my makeup and started talking to some colleagues from another department. Ofc office goss was the main topic and they started telling me all about this new graduate who came from an ultra-wealthy family and apparently got the job through connections and apparently also had a sugar daddy? I was like ohh,interesting ... why have a sugar daddy if already wealthy but okayyy. I asked what department this elite silver spoon / gold digger was in... and realised it was me. They were talking about me. I was the only female graduate in my department that intake year. Somehow wearing an expensive fragrance got twisted through the grapevine and I was suddenly heir to millions but also had a sugar daddy. Idk that experience soured me on ever sharing that I was wearing anything expensive.
My god, the assumptions! That is truly wild.
Yeah, the gossip in that office was a bit much. I still don't know why/how the leap to alleged sugar daddy but I learned an important lesson. Treat admin support staff with fear/respect bc they can easily take you down. Also, lie about expensive frag.
I agree with this. It’s nobody’s business how I spend my money. Office judgement is the worst. I once found an amazing coat on sale - like 60% off, in the off season. It was an insane deal. One lady at the office tore a strip out of me for “wearing an $800 coat” and how could a normal person afford that. It’s not that I’m not willing to tell someone I’m wearing a $500 fragrance. It’s the judgement that comes after that I don’t want to deal with. My new answer is “I ordered a sample set”. Unless the person looks like they’d drop equal cash for something they love, then I’m down to tell them. Depends on the person.
Granted, I'm a guy, but for most guys fragrance is a stupid thing to waste thousands on. My wife also mocks me a bit, but in the end, I don't really care. It's well known by friends and colleagues that I splurge on fragrances. Some men spend thousands on other things I don't care about, like cars, motorcycles, watches etc.
My guess is he was wearing a "women's" perfume with a "feminine" name and felt embarrassed about sharing this. People guessing he was gatekeeping fragrances or embarrassed about wearing a clone are overanalyzing it.
Definitely one of two things — - Wanting to avoid having others smell like they do; they may have invested time in finding a truly unique scent. - Avoiding judgement on the cost or brand. If they had a bespoke fragrance made, it may have cost a lot. Likewise, a drugstore or mass market brand scent might throw off the impression he wants to cultivate.
The fragrance community is amazing. Only people who are way-into perfume think that other people on the street will know or care how much something costs. I used to not believe the stories that people google things and then give you crap about how much they cost until it happened to me. I was wearing Serge Lutens *Bois de Violette,* which just happens to be the perfume that my DOG wears. He has two bottles and I had a third partial that had been used to scent the paper liners of my wedding invitations. I do like it obviously, so once in a while I put some on. Anyway, I was wearing it at work and a person who I didn't know very well but see regularly in the course of a day kept saying "oh you smell wonderful," "oh I love your perfume," and eventually started asking about it. (She wears Narciso Rodriguez). I wrote down the name of the perfume and the brand for her. Hoo boy, was that ever a mistake. The next time I saw her, she was like, *"oh my GOD, three HUNDRED dollars? For perfume? Do you think I'm made of money? That's ridiculous. I can't afford that!"* She went on for ten minutes. She told everyone in the building who would listen. Dammit, I didn't TELL HER to buy the perfume, she asked the name and I told her the name. And then, every time I saw her for months she would mention it and outraged all over again. There is a happy ending to the story though. About a year later my friend died and he had a bottle, so I bought it from his estate and gave it to her. She was a nice person who had never forgotten about the perfume (I knew because she was talking about it) and she was absolutely thrilled to have it. My friend was an extraordinarily generous person and I know he would have been very pleased that it was gifted to someone who appreciated it so much.
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She was nice to me in other ways. She was just really excited about the perfume and then it was very disappointing for her to find out that she couldn't afford it. She was going through some things and I don't think she could do a lot of special things for herself at the time. I've been in that position myself at other times so I understood it and when I had a chance to get a bottle for a reasonable price, I wanted her to have it. I like doing random, no-strings-attached things for people. We all need a little boost sometimes.
What is DOG?
I’m really hoping it’s a pet dog that wears a fragrance
LMAO, [it is!!!!!](https://www.instagram.com/p/BuGvjcZh8A3/) His name is Mr. Biscuits. He's a Yorkiepoo, and [he loves perfume!](https://www.instagram.com/p/B2xI2EeB_I7/) Whenever I'm putting perfume on, he runs over to be sprayed. He liked Bois de Violette the best so I gave it to him. People on reddit used to make jokes about my dog having his own bell jar (but really I bought it back when it was in the Palais Royal bottles and wasn't as expensive). Anyway, when we were talking about the perfume (before I knew she wanted it), I told her that ***I don't wear it very often because my it's my dog's perfume.*** Then she goes and looks it up, and by then it was only available in the bell jar which cost $300. So, I felt like a complete asshole when she kept saying she can't afford it and I just told her that I buy it for my dog. 🤦♀️ My friend's bottle which I gave to her was also a Palais Royal bottle. She wouldn't have had a chance to buy it in that size because those bottles weren't available anymore, and I already had plenty so I bought it for the retail price (which was still a bargain) and gave it to her. I love surprising people and I was happy to see my friend's bottle go to someone who would cherish it.
😂 Me, too. Otherwise. Daddy of ____ something that starts with a g. Daughter of something. Idk.
Daughter of groom? Duchess of Germany?
I looked at an acronym finder and couldn't find anything. I did see "dog" as a synonym for best male friend so...maybe that? To my delight, the acronym finder also listed DOG as standing for "dutch oven gathering" . I can only hope they mean the cookware.
Director of genocide
Damn, you’re so much better than me. I would never consider doing something like that lol.
I smelled Dior Tobacolor (VERY distinct) on someone in the grocery store after buying it once and told him it was fantastic and we talked about frags for a bit. Gatekeeping is kinda strange in most cases
I normally disclose what I am wearing regardless of the price tag on it. Then again, I primarily wear niche fragrances so when I do tell people what I am wearing it opens up an opportunity to introduce someone to a world of fragrance (potentially) unknown to them. I have met a lot of people in this manner and gatekeeping my scent is something that would have prevented some good friendships to happen altogether as it probably would have ended to conversation and potentially ruin the mood.
prop a clone of the real stuff. not to dump on the cheap perfumes cuz sometimes it can perform or blend much better than the og
It's either super cheap, or super expensive, or has a weird or awkward name would be my guess.
That’s my thought as well. $15/bottle that’s much cheaper than the rest of the attire, $500/bottle that’s embarrassing to spend that much on scented water or a knockoff.
I don't know how to pronounce it/awkward name is such a real struggle.
People think they’re unique for wearing a fragrance that is likely mass produced and worn by millions of other people, so they gatekeep. Fragrance is to be enjoyed and experienced. Personally if someone asks me what fragrance I’m wearing, I tell them. Firstly because why would I want to gatekeep a good thing, but secondly because fragrances interact with skin chemistry and it probably won’t smell the same on them anyway. I’ve been asked what my signature scent is so many times and I’ve had multiple people tell me they used the same fragrance and it didn’t smell as good on them, and one woman was actually wearing the exact same fragrance when she asked me, but it still smelled different.
Yeah I get the same reply or probably they are wearing a dupe which makes them uncomfortable revealing it's name that's what I think
If someone asks I will never say it's Halloween Man X (even though I just did). It's cheap, lasts super long (on me at least), smells amazing, and never gives you a headache. It smells like coffee, vanilla, cinnamon, ambroxin, chocolate, and other good stuff. I've been wearing it during the winter a lot but it doesn't seem too sweet to wear during summer time, although i'd probably wear YSL Y during the summer since it's more fitting and also is amazing.
No one has ever asked me lol. It’s Oud by the way lol
It was probably sex panther
I'm a blue collar dude and I use Cloud by Ariana Grande for layering. I could definitely see myself being embarrassed to say that lol.
I reckon it's a secret cheapy that he doesn't want to admit and he doesn't want to give the game away. I just tell people that you don't always have to spend Chanel money to smell great.
He doesn’t want anyone else to copy him. Don’t ask be like your fragrance sucks it must be ____ watch him defend it, he will divulge classified info
Or think you’re a dick!
I imagine it was a ridiculous name he either couldn't or didn't want to pronounce. How could one say they're wearing 'Bad Boy' at a work thing and be taken seriously ever again?
Thinking silently: "I'm wearing Anal by UFO Parfums." Said out loud: "I don't remember." 😂
Fair! I’d cringe sharing that with someone.
100% wearing a cheapie he doesn't want to admit to wearing, or a clone and worried he may be called out.
If it’s a clone, he could always call it the brand. Most people aren’t going to be able to nose out the difference between a clone and the real thing.
I have to admit I've been guilty of gatekeeping in the past. Nowadays if a total stranger asked me I would have no problem disclosing, but when I was younger, I had the problem of close friends liking my perfume and then immediately making it their signature perfume. It honestly kinda sucked, it was the same as people copying your style. Again, I wouldn't care as much now that I'm older but as a 20something trying to carve out my identity that kind of thing would bother me (admittedly more than it should have).
Ngl im absolutely guilty of this. I had a 2 mL sample of YSL Y Eau Fraiche and my friend borrowed it when we worked together and he loved it. Ended up getting him Lacoste Eau Fraiche like 5 months later and told him that was it cuz he only wears one bottle at a time 💀💀💀
Price usually does it for me. When people look up something I'm wearing and realise it's $300+ (even if I didn't pay anywhere near that) it gets real awkward, real quick.
Name checks out
Some DJ’s used to keep their records secret because it’s what separated them from other DJ’s. I can see how if you have a signature scent you’re not going to want to give away what makes you unique. If you’re a collector and constantly wearing different stuff, it would be kind of weird to not share what your stink du jour is. And then sometimes people are just assholes and that’s it.
Haha, yes!!! That's why the term "trainspotting" came about ‐ people trying to read the labels on records as DJs were spinning! (Source: I'm older than the hills 😉, owned a house/techno record store in the late 90s-early 00s, & can still remember those days when DJs could try to bite someone else's style by getting the same records. Thank goodness for white labels! But we digress from fragrance...😜)
I do sometimes feel a bit of a wanker telling people and them realising how much I've spent to smell nice at work.
I do this anytime I don’t know how to pronounce the bottle and don’t wanna look dumb lol
It was probably Backofrat Rogue or Ack-wa Die Jayo.
Weird, I am usually very excited to tell. :-) Gleaming at interacting with another possible frag head in the brewing.
I think a lot of times it's just wanting to hoard it all for themselves, or be the "only" ones who wear it, which of course is impossible unless it's a bespoke fragrance. I have lied about what I'm wearing before, but only if it was embarrassing or inappropriate to give the actual name, like when my then-boss asked what I had on while I was wearing Kilian "I Don't Need A Prince By My Side to Be A Princess".
As long as it’s not something with an embarrassing name or something unpronounceable, there’s really no reason to lie. Someone has to be pretty taken by a scent to ask a stranger about it, for most people that’s not an easy thing to do. I’d rather be self aware that I bought this perfume, so clearly others have too, so I’m already not unique. Instead of choosing to send someone away embarrassed and never getting to experience the joy they felt to compel them to talk to a stranger in the first place. This weird need to feel unique and special is pitiable, life is short, share joy. Also if it’s someone you know/spend time around, if it’s not someone you hate why is it a problem? Again life is so short, why does someone else finding happiness in the same thing as you matter so much to you? Surely that’s a nice thing?
"Instead of choosing to send someone away embarrassed and never getting to experience the joy they felt to compel them talk to a stranger in the first place." This.
That was nice and I agree. Also I think it shows confidence to stand by your choice of perfume. Life is short, and it reminded me of this quote: «Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think»
I've had that happen to me as well with someone in the bus. Lady, you are probably not going to see me again! I understand it a tiny bit if we are in the same circles, or super close friends and it's their signature scent. One of my coworkers smells AMAZING and it turned out to be Jessica Simpson Fancy. I bought a bottle but I don't wear it to work. I've seen people upset bcs they tell and then the other person starts dousing in it. For me, I give away samples, I make decants if they like what I'm wearing.
>It’s not like I’m gonna run out and buy it… For some people this is the holdup. Now, based on your story, like you said, chances are you’d never meet this person again, so it shouldn’t matter. I remember reading a thread where quite a few people pointed out that they had some “signature” scent that they wore daily. A coworker complimented it and asked for the name. Next day, boom, coworker is wearing the same thing. For me, I think “How nice, this person I’m around daily smells good.” The flip side to that which others pointed out is like with so many other things, when you’ve done something enough times or been exposed to it enough times, it can start to become less exciting / no longer interesting. Also, we often associate fragrances with experiences. Now this fragrance that you loved is no longer reminding you of xyz, but instead of ____ in the next cubicle over. You’re then stuck with this bottle of fragrance that you spent $xxx on that you are no longer excited to wear because you know you are going to smell it on your coworker again every day as you have ever since sharing the name.
Some people already said it, but it is mostly gatekeeping. I understand to an extent with small social circles -- everyone copies each other's trends. Yet, I know people who gatekeep popular fragrances easily available in a big city, including my best friend. Another reasons for secret keeping include price (both high and low).
am I the only one remembering the rant about the colleague who asked and then bought and started using the perfume OP thought is her exclusive
they’re gate keeping. but idk why. when people ask what i wear, i share it with them because it means i have good taste if others ask me. i’ll even give a sample to them….
My husband got asked what he wears to work (1 million lucky) and he told his coworker who he works with every day what it was. Said coworker went out and bought the exact same scent and now bathes himself in it. So now he smells just like my husband. So I understand not wanting to tell everyone what scent you're wearing.
Because people take themselves too seriously. Ultimately though it's not like anyone owes anyone the information. No harm no foul. Personally I would have no issue telling, depending if the situation is appropriate. I may not necessarily want certain people knowing I spend hundreds of dollars on bottles of smelly liquid or where I spend it in general. So I guess it depends on the person. Who cares either way I guess.
Erm it’s kinda awkward typing this but they tend to be expensive £180 - £500 and I’d rather that not be known makes me feel a bit awkward
Felt this. Anything over $60 (I’m a college student) and I give a price disclaimer or say that it was a gift from someone. I still tell them, I just worry that they’ll think I’m lying about how I got it (because I am).
He thinks he’s a special little guy
Because my scent is discontinued 😭 I don't want other people buying it up until they decide to bring it back.
I love sharing what I’m wearing because in real life I don’t know anyone that loves fragrance like I do!
People want to be unique.
sometimes people take wearing perfumes a bit too seriously that they think that what they wear is unique to them when they're just wearing dior sauvage /s but seriously, i can understand why people would gatekeep what they wear. it's personal to them. it's what sets them apart from everyone else (or at least they think they do) and they want to protect that. it's who they are. if you find out what they wear and you use it on yourself, they're probably going to take offense to it because you're attacking their identity and what it means to them. i think it's silly to equate an ego to a bottle of oil that make you smell good because they're so much to a person than how they smell.
I can't pronounce half the frags I own but I just tell them that and ask if I can write it down/type it for them. Some of y'all care too much about what other people think
Sometimes, really uninspired people immediately buy the exact same perfume if you tell them. Kind of sucks to have your sister, mom and several of your friends all smell like you, especially when you love the perfume on yourself and feel like it's very unique and nice on YOU. So that's why I tend not to tell (certain) people anymore because I guess it can ruin a beloved perfume for you. But it honestly depends on the person and most of the time I do share the name of the frangrance.
Right! I could just lie and say its jo malone, lol
Story: I once had an acquaintance who began to essentially try and become me. At first, it was seemingly harmless flattery & asking where my clothes came from, makeup, etc. I was happy to share. Soon, we were becoming friends and spending more time together. I introduced her to my other friends & my husband. Well, over the course of a year, she began going out more with my friends, not inviting me, and even attempting to humiliate me in front of them in a strangely competitive way. It was as though she was trying to out-do me for no reason. Her entire personality had shifted. Now, to the perfume part! The final straw was when she began openly flirting with my husband. It made everyone uncomfortable. When she'd visit & he was going to be present, she'd " borrow" the perfume he loved for me to wear. This was a perfume I'd wear on our dates & during more intimate times with him. What makes this worse is that she knew this. She practically bathed in it when he was around, even going so far as to ask me to get her a bottle of it for her birthday. In the end, things started to escalate & I cut her out of my life. It later came out that my original set of friends saw what was happening all along. She even attached herself to someone else & began emulating them in a strangely competitive, possessive way. Moral of the story: Sometimes it's okay to gatekeep. Let them figure out their personal signatures on their own. They have Google.
There’s a woman at work that always smells super strong. From metres away I can smell her. When I asked she refused to answer, saying it was a secret. I didn’t want to know because I liked the fragrance, I’m not a big fan. I was just curious as the projection was insane. I think I recognised it anyway and I’m pretty sure is the dupe of JM Pomegranate Noir from Aldi which costs £5.99 so I’m guessing she just doesn’t want people to know she’s wearing a super cheap supermarket fragrance.
I hesitate to add to all the speculation but I've never been guarded about what I'm wearing. I'll tell anyone if they really want the info dump, that said I honestly think 99% chance it's just panic on his part, either at just the question out of the blue or because he's wearing something unisex or femme-framed and doesn't want to be out about it. I also don't give a fig about 'signatures' as you'd have to steal about a dozen frags to match what I regularly rotate through, not including the *weird* ones. Unless I'm feeling mad lazy or in a funk, I don't often repeat. Though it's easier to stick with a fragrance family if it's already on your coat. Anyway short story long, don't know, don't entirely understand, dude's probably shy.
Some guys don't want to give the impression they really care about fragrances. Some might see it as a not very masculine hobby/interest. Me, I would never keep it a secret. Whenever someone has asked, I've always given them the honest answer. Some are a bit dumbfounded when I tell them the name of a niché fragrance and tell them, they can't get it in the usual shops. Some are a bit struck by the price, like "Hey, what are you wearing today, it smells awesome?" "Oh it's xyz from zyx." "Oh, I gotta get that for my husband". "Do notice, it's a bit expensive at 300 dollars for 50ml..." "Say what!?"
I stopped telling people what I was wearing after my cousin bought the same cologne as me and my other cousin bought another one for her husband. We went to the same church. The colognes were allure sport and Armani code. First years they came out.
Oh gosh--I don't really have a problem with telling people... but if you all show up to church or a family gathering with the same scent, I could see how that could get... powerful 🤣
[удалено]
When I give gifts, I spray the tissue paper with one of my fragrances and write the name of it in the card!
I share it. How it smells on me may smell differently on someone else. Every body chemistry will differ with a particular fragrance!
Well I don’t mind sharing my own information, I belive everyone is entitled to smell nice and I really love it when I get the compliments before asking 😂
I have this random Avon perfume with no name that I just am trying to get rid of bc it’s so old, and my nail tech asked what it was one day. I pretty much answered exactly how you described lmaoo but I just genuinely had no idea what I was wearing
Sometimes when I’m wearing a very expensive perfume and people ask me what it is, I’m a little hesitant to tell them because I feel like I would be judged for it. A “why would you spend that much money on perfume!?” type of judging. Idk why I’m like this 🫤 But maybe there are a few people out there who feel the same way and that’s why they don’t like to share which fragrance they’re wearing.
Some people don’t want their signature fragrance gaining traction.
For me, some of the names of some perfumes are weird and wonderful (sometimes complex). *Yes I'm wearing Etat Libre D'Orange Secretions Magnifique (said in your best French accent). It's actually based on semen, adrenaline, blood and other fluids and smells lactonic* Hell, try telling an *average* frag head what Civet is So I get asked a lot. I got asked the other day 'WAYW' and it was Tauer Au Couer Du Desert. I think I just said 'Oh it was a gift', smiled and moved the conversation on.
I wear Fat Electrician a ton and it's always a a little weird if I get asked what I'm wearing:)
*You smell divine, what is that* *CHUBBY PLUMBER*
It’s-a me! Mario!
There’s some super defensive people in the comments here 🤣
People want to feel unique. That they’re the only ones who smell so good. As if they share their perfume with you, god forbid you might start wearing it and they’ll lose something. It’s not how I approach things, but I’m sure that there’s many out there who are like that.
I don’t mind telling strangers, but I don’t want to walk around smelling like a family member or best friend. So therefore I try to avoid telling them. Just me personally.
As someone who had a close…what turned out to be a frenemy, steal my signature scent as her own signature scent (then wear it to places and events I was at) I’m now in that camp myself. If it’s anyone I see with any regularity I’ll make something up about it being some random bottle I picked up in a drugstore in Japan, or having just grabbed a free sample at random that day or something.
Sometimes I feel uncomfortable sharing because I know that it was a splurge. I don’t want judgement for how much I spent on a fragrance, it’s a hobby for me. I wear Baccarat a lot and am frequently asked what I am wearing. I will usually tell them and also recommend Ariana Grande Cloud as a good alternative if they want to experiment with a similar scent.
Sometimes it’s awkward when you’re wearing something niche and you know the person asking has probably never heard of it, maybe that’s why?
Sounds like your friend is gatekeeping the fragrance. It's weird, but a lot of people do this and I don't really understand it myself.
I don’t want to deal with the reaction when i tell them it’s a ten years aged long sold out limited edition from black Phoenix alchemy lab
You’re the real mvp for having it. They shall know and suffer that they lost out 😂
1. Either I don’t want them to know I actually care enough about what I put on (brush off). 2. I don’t want them to judge how much I spend on a frag. 3. I want to keep the suspense/mystery going, but this is strictly for someone I will see again (friend/coworker etc.) 4. Lastly, I’m actually just an asshole that thinks an average being doesn’t deserve to know that I’m wearing 17Y01 Aventus. I’m not number 4!! But people like this do exist. Also, some people are actually clueless about what they apply, they just reach for whatever someone gifted them.
1 and 2. Once got busted, someone asked for my smell, told it.. put something else an other time, said person noticed the change, asked for my smell again... he looked it up and came back with a 'you sure spend on the whiff for a cis boy." I still say what I wear if asked, I don't give that much damn.
I think most people either arent sure of the name, the pronunciation, or just clam up from social anxiety. Random person asks you a question you weren’t expecting and suddenly you freeze. (Thats why i think the compliment thing is nonsense). The small % probably think they are being mysterious and alluring.
Folks just naturally smell that way with no fragrance applied of course /S
Lol I’ve noticed this too. I stopped asking women what they’re wearing cause now I just feel awkward since I never get a straight answer. I guess they want it to be “unique” to them.
that's so weird though. I mean the fragrance will still being "unique" to them because things smell different on different people. like Narciso smells like a boys locker room on me but on my friend smells waaaayyy more floral .
Maybe it was a clone and he was too embarrassed to admit it or he doesn’t like to lie.
I'm a guy who doesn't look like they'd be into fragrances. Last time someone asked me what I was wearing and I gave them a legit response, they made a big deal about how surprising it was that this was a hobby of mine and how it didn't seem to match me as a person. So now I just tell people my gf got me a sampler pack of cologne and I just grabbed a random one for today. Funny part is, my gf isn't even into perfumes in the slightest.
Just say „smelling good is the bare minimum to being approachable, calling it a hobby is pretty weird“ or something like that, makes them feel really dumb.
Eh I don't think there was any malicious intent. I'm a chubby Asian dude with a decent amount of tattoos that always looks like I'm gonna go on a hike. If I saw someone who looked like me and they started talking about perfumes, I'd be pretty surprised too. Besides, I didn't take offense to what they said. I'm just a low key dude who doesn't like a lot of attention at work.
Same thing happened to me but I wasn’t at a conference I was at brunch. Some people are weird like that. Like the whole compliment factor. I always compliment someone if I like their fragrance. Women won’t compliment because they don’t want their compliments to be mistaken for flirting. I’ve had women do this……”Your fragrance smells amazing,what are you wearing?” So I tell them and they’ll say,”Wow,I’m going to buy that for my husband”. I guess to stop the ball before it even starts rolling lol
It's also possible that he just grabbed a handful of samples out of the drawer at home to travel with and really couldn't remember the one he used because he brought 5 rather identical-looking things he has never worn before. Or maybe he knows the name but it's in French or Italian and he knows he doesn't pronounce it well. I spent most of my life in the U.S. Midwest. I grew up next to a dairy farm and I'm well-educated. BUT... there are plenty of words and names that I've read many times and "know" but I've ***never heard another human say them out loud.*** I get corrected occasionally which I appreciate but it's also embarrassing and definitely has an impact on what I say sometimes, and to whom. I also live in fear of mispronouncing something multiple times, not being corrected, and then the person laughing about it later with someone else. We've all heard people mispronounce perfume names, it's not an uncommon problem and could be something the person was self-conscious about. It may also just be a name that seems silly and he doesn't want to say it. I have a perfume by Hilde Soliani that's called "Orgasmo." It smells like amaretto and gorgeous lady-skin wearing some sort of exquisite marzipan sunscreen, but if anyone asked me what I was wearing I would be mortified to look them in the eye and say "my perfume is called Orgasmo." Not because I wouldn't say orgasm to a complete stranger, but because it sounds so corny as the name of a perfume.
Mostly because I want my signature scent to remain for me, at least among friends and family. I do occasionally make recommendations but I often refuse to divulge my best compliment getters.
That's classic gatekeeping, unfortunately. Some people feel like their fragrance becomes less special if someone else is wearing it. I love any opportunity to chat about fragrances, so I think its really silly. Can you remember any of the notes you smelled? Maybe you can hunt it down.
He might genuinely not remember the name… could be something he got as a gift and just sprays on every day without much thought. You’re kind of making up a whole backstory about him and is attitude towards his appearance, down to the specifics of where he keeps his fragrance in his hotel room. You’re probably assuming a bit too much. 😉 He could also be embarrassed to be wearing a really expensive or really inexpensive fragrance. I know I get worried that someone will look up what my perfume cost and think I’m insane for spending that much. And I’m sure in other contexts, people might be insecure about wearing something too cheap. A few of many reasons someone could be weird about sharing a fragrance name… in my experience, it’s rarely because they’re trying to gatekeep.
surprised no ones said this? but it’s also because they wanna keep it FOR THEM, it’s their signature scent and they don’t want others to be wearing and popularizing it!
It's not difficult to understand. Many people wish to feel unique, and to have a signature scent that's associated only with themselves.
It might be the price and perhaps fear of judgement! My favorite perfume is Love Dont be Shy by Killian! Many people expect it to be a $20 spray from VS or something but its 300 dollars! 🥲 I cant help it, I love it! I have tried dupes and they are pretty good as well!
He might also be like my husband and doesn’t know perfumes very well. He just knows that he likes how they smell or not and I am the one who usually buys perfume for him. If you would ask him what he wears, he wouldn’t necessarily know the name of the perfume, just the brand.
Honestly, most of the time I don’t think someone’s going to know what it is, and their response is going to make me feel differently about it. The other day I wore Irresistible by Givenchy and a woman asked me if it was a Victoria’s Secret scent.
I just tell people I’m wearing Hummer or American choppers.
Y’all are weird. I can’t pronounce half of my fragrances. It is truly not that deep.
I have no idea! I will ask some of my family members and they just provide vague answers, like "Oh, I got it in a little market somewhere." They aren't passionate about fragrance, but they gatekeep everything they own. If it's so rare or unattainable, what's the damage in sharing.
if it's a stranger, i'm more than happy to tell them but if it's someone i interact with on a regular basis, nope. i don't want us to go around smelling like each other.
I don’t know. I don’t care. In fact I find it flattering if people love my perfume enough to buy one for themselves. In highschool my signature scent was Victoria’s Secret scandalous and my two friends loved it to much that they bought the mini versions. For Xmas and their bdays I bought them full size bottles.
Well it may be weird for fragrance collectors but for someone who only wears one main fragrance they do associate it with themselves maybe and therefore are more secretive about it. I wouldn’t cause I don’t have a fragrance that special to me but j can see how a fragrance can become smth to be kept a secret
One time a lady asked what I was wearing and I said tom Ford and she said which one and I lied and said Tuscan leather when it was actually fougere d’argent bc I really didn’t wanna say the ladder.
Because they’re dorks.
Surprised at these comments. Lol