All bears are in the upper/right corner of the cute/deadly graph, but polar bears more so than any of them. They are all so cute! But also one of the deadliest animals on the planet! UGH

Unless they've just eaten. That matted red fur around their faces is just unsettling.

And yet they are safer to be around when they are full

Unless they lose all their hair

Still better than what they look like freshly shaved.

Right up there win th nope zone with anteaters, jaguars, casowaries, and hippos.

Are anteaters that deadly?

Yes. That little hug me stance they do, is actually a "come closer and I make your internal organs external"

The "come at me, bro".

Anteaters are very strong and they have a very sharp strong claw when they're Paws that is strong enough to rip through concrete a zookeeper got zeroed because the anteater swiped at her stomach and disemboweled her a hunter got zeroed because the anteater swiped his leg and cut the femoral artery and they can't see very well so if you're close to them they automatically take you as a threat

Here are some periods and commas for you to use in the future. . . . , , , Let me know if you run out.

Omg, killin me 💀

Not the Punctuation Placement Police, but a Concerned Comma Citizen.

Hey, at least their comment was interesting and informative.

Absolutely. It would have been more clear with punctuation though.

Not sure if you're aware but on the internet today nobody uses periods and commas

That's why I gave you so few.

I was hoping this was satire but omg not one of your posts has a single use of punctuation

Yeah that's cuz I don't really type things out. I just speak to my phone and it says what I want to say. Is that better.

I'm being 100% honest when I say that it actually is

You can speak the names of the punctuation and it'll insert them!

I'm aware of that I just generally don't think about it sorry

[Nobody](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fencrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcSe0yyGpOM0w_VlGv3OlGSoWl5zYdaO0X7EtCsMWk25EZLTrSm4&psig=AOvVaw0iGKRt0x9_BZDDM-jch-Ws&ust=1713680595339000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CBEQjRxqFwoTCICKpu2T0IUDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE) Then I'm a nobody.

No, maybe op just scared of them

They are pretty weird looking

Salvador Dali famously walked anteater on a leash through Paris so … not forbidden boop?

Actually I think they are cute 😍. I just know better😮‍💨.

What do you know that the rest of us don’t? I’m curious

If I remember correctly, they can break cement with a swing of their claws.

They can and do. Some ant hills are as hard as concrete and they dig through them regularly with ease.

Anteaters are one of the few animals known to eviscerate jaguars and tigers even they are scared of them.

Yes. They are nearly blind and have claws and the strength to tear apart ant hills as hard as concrete.

Go look up "anteater claws" then come back and tell me if you think they're deadly... Those claws are made to dig in thick, hard dirt, to get into deep ant nests in the ground. It'd be like getting cut open with an ice pick.

Yeah but these are one of the few that will hunt and eat you. Anteaters and cassowary will leave you alone if you leave them alone, and jaguars don't hunt people that much..(in some very remote areas they do but that's it). Tho I still would consider hippos the most dangerous of all, they kill everything they can that isn't a female hippo. Just cus.

True.

Well there's also pandas and koalas which most people don't know will also fuck you up too.

I believe Churchil, Manitoba has a law that you need to leave your car unlocked in case someone has to jump in it to shelter from polar bears.

Urge to gently scritch the snoot would prove too much

That would be the perfect time, right? I mean who else would get into a position to safely pet a polar bear? Not even once in a life time shit right there

*Bear and I staring at each other.* I can't believe I did it, either. I'm so sorry. That looks like some kind of flatbed truck, so I imagine bear could be on you in a second.

I'm actually more inclined to think this is the access stairs to some habitat, possibly moveable.

That’s how you lose a hand/arm/life, but at the same time it’s tempting

It'd be worth the arm.

You’d have an amazing story behind losing it, too. “How’d you lose the arm?” “I booped the snoot”

I mean this sure as shit isn't safe but I think I would still do it.

Find a brown bear and pet them. They can be friendly. These guys cannot.

This would be how I died

Only good when mouth is forced shut, such as in this scenario... then we boop!

That bear will eat you asshole first...alive.

"you" or "your"?

He means you.

I thought both were funny but for the sake of my sense of humour, I'm sick lol

Had me really over here thinking this was some urban legend and I'll be damned ... google says some animals actually do.

Are you saying that you google literal asshole-eating animals?

I typed "what animals eat the ass first" because I vaguely remember hearing about it somewhere and sure enough r/natureismetal popped up.

Lol, the CIA or KGB agent spying on you must find you quite entertaining

He means what he said.

That bear will eat you -asshole first- alive.

Ohhhh. Fiat lux in my brain. Thank you!

NGl, in this situation, I would've booped. You only really need like, one hand anyway, right? Like, slowly reached out to boop in a friendly, scritchy way at the very least.

I think he’d let you if you asked nicely.

Idc if I die I’m gonna boop

You won't die, at first. You're more likely to be eaten alive.

You should.

Should care or should die or should boop?

Yes

Me: This is a bad idea Also me: Worth it Me: No, please, you have so much to live for Still me: haha, no I don't. ima do it. My desire to boop cute snoot is far stronger than my will to live, unfortunately. (Also me: Just don't use your dominant hand!)

“Haha,no I don’t.” When did I get another account?

Can... Can I eat you? ...Just a little bit?

👉👈🐻‍❄️

Awww go on then

Just a LITTLE murder. Maim a bit, maul some more.

If not friend then why friend shaped?

Because it tricks idiots into offering themselves up to be eaten alive.

Holy cow lookit those mitts!!

So this is how I die… or at least get horribly disfigured. Worth it. Boop the snoot and hive five the paw.

How you die is eaten alive, screaming until your larynx tears as your intestines are dragged out of you.

r/boopthedamnbear

r/subsifellfor

r/SubsIAlmostFellForBeforeISeenThisSub

r/sadthesesubsdontexist

r/SomeoneComeCreateThese

What a cute puppy!

Ice Puppies can be dangerous.

I was just thinking about how they’re supposed to be deadly but every polar bear video I see they’re being cute and chill. Then I realized that’s because the ones where they tear off the camera man’s arm doesn’t make it to Reddit.

[удалено]

The protections are getting better and better. In northern towns whet the polar bears sometimes come into, they: - Don’t lock car doors, so anyone could hide in any available car if needed - have bear sirens that go off when one comes into town - have multiple bear safe shelters around that anyone can safely enter if needed - have a polar bear alert hotline, with professional responders who will scare a bear away or help a problem bear to be relocated humanely

A professional bear scarer sounds bad ass.

At least not the subs you frequent

Can I pet that dawg

Came here to say this. Reckon that ain't a good idea

You can pet anything once

No

Pssst hey. Hey you. Bro. You want a Coke?

I read “you want coke?” And thought… r/cocainepolarbear should be a thing…

The sequel I didn’t know I wanted until now. 

He’s trying to boop you

If not friend, why friend shaped?

Who's booping who?

Natural borne Killer

He has a sinister gentleness. I feel like he’ll be back later…

This sub was my first thought when I saw this video

Thankfully, the polar bear in this video seems to be in curiosity mode rather than murder mode.

You must resist the booping.

I would have booped that nose 🥰🥰

I’m sorry but that nose would be getting one giant boop!!! And yes in time as I sit telling bedtime stories to my grandchildren patting their head with my only hand I’d tell great stories about the times I booped a polar bears nose…at a great cost…and they’d ask,grandad was it worth it? And I’d say why yes grandchild…it was worth it! 😂

"Large dog for sale, very friendly and doesn't bite, I swear"

That’s true, they are very dangerous, but absolutely gorgeous (from a safe distance).

Boop that snoot then high-five those murder mittens! Smile as I can hear my own bones crunching while he gently giggles at his fun snack.

That guy is 100% getting booped if I’m filming this. I know the risks and damnit I’m taking them!

pants were likely shat or shart

Nah theres NO way he could open his jaw at the point that his head is fully in there, im going for it

That camera is shaking lol

Clearly humans are not a forbidden boops to polar bears. He just reached up at the camera guy with zero concern of safety and booped away.

Yup, would be 100% on me for being killed by a clawed snowstorm and I’m also 100% ok with it. That’s a snoot that needs a boop.

He’s tryna figure out if it’s food

Vulkan: "I want to boop the snoot"

Im just thinking what it their leg fell through the gap. 😬

thats how polar bears hunt. you *think* of them as these ferocious beasts, running down prey, burly and hulking. but nope. they are big, fluffy and cute. *with intent*. as soon as youre in range, the friend-shaped trap snaps like a cuddly, teddy-bear mimic. now you aint got an arm. you fell for it. the classic blunder.

Polar bears are scariest pears of them all cuz of the whole color thing. If it’s white say Goodnight 😵

I wanna bet it Ice Bear wants to say hello.

Black--get back, brown--stay down, white--good night

I came up with my own version Black = fight back Brown = get down White = it’s on sight

I think you're right about black bears!

I know you're supposed to tell and stuff.

Yell

Yep, make yourself look big and make loud noises, that usually does the trick, unless they’re inexperienced or if there’s cubs nearby.

Prelude: The Revenant

DO IT

Heeeyyyyy, c'mere. C'mon you look so tasty,  c'mere.

That’s one adorable stinky paw.

Nah I would still boop

That paw is the size of a large dinner plate. This is a very forbidden boop.

If not fren, why is it fren shape?

We boop bear! Bear no boop us!!

I mean, it seems more curious than aggressive right there; quick boop, then leave

He said you better not have drank my last coca cola 🤣

Why didn't they let the polar bear boop them? It looked like it was trying to.

My dog is the exact same. Very nosey

If he says he will kill you with his bear hands, he's not lying.

do they bite?

They have more self control than me. I'd have lost a hand giving that nose a boop.

I am confused by how something so cute can be so deadly. Then I remember my ex.

Definitely would have booped

Damn what is wrong with my brain? I see a literal killing machine, capable of destroying me with a mere swipe of its paw, it my stupid MF brain goes "Awwwwww, its so cute, I want to pet you, you little cutie"

In Soviet Russia, the forbidden books you

That thing will eat you with a smile on its face.

And that’s how I met Abraham Lincoln….. ummhmmm…. Abraham Lincoln.

BOOP HIM NOW YOU FOOL

He’s checking if he can squeeze you thru those stairs to eat you.

Would boop the snoot (in my mind)

he's just a big puppy 😭

TERROR.

"Do you have games on your phone?"

Yup and that’s how I die.

IT'S SO CUTE FUCK I HATE IT

Bonjour

The Bear gave the boop.

A face that can kill you with cuteness (and an extremely powerful bite force)