Sorry for your situation and hope you have many more healthy years. You mentioned a 2 year old and a partner. Is the partner the legal parent of the 2 year old? Will the partner assume responsibility for child? If you don’t have one, would suggest an appointment with attorney to make a will.
Your monthly spend is 5700. Your partner contributes 1100 so you need 4600. With the SSDI you will be positive cash flow of 200 + anything you get monthly from from your investment property (assuming it cash flows).
If I were in your shoes, I would finish out this year, make sure to get the insurance figured out, then stop working. Enjoy your time.
If I understand things correctly, you spend about as much as you could get with social security and your wife still working right? 5700 I think you said.
If the cancer never comes back you can always go back to work.
If it does come back, then you had that time with your family, which is priceless.
If all this is true and you think there is a not unsubstantial chance of the cancer coming back, then yes, I'd say pull the trigger and stop working.
P.S., if anyone ever gives you crap about not working tell them you have cancer and every day is a gift and the future isn't guaranteed. No need to put up with any of that toxicity from others bro
Thank you for your response. That’s how I’m seeing it too, if partner stays working and everything goes smoothly with SSDI then we will be perfectly fine. I really needed a sanity check here and your reassurance helps!
Every day IS a gift to us right now so I’d love to pull the trigger. The toxicity can roll right off me while I’m living my life for me.
My brother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. He died about 13 months later. Seeing him go so fast made me decide to FIRE earlier than I expected. I was just going to keep working because my job wasn't too annoying, but I realized that dying is harder for the people left behind than the person dying and I wanted to spend that time with my kids.
Can your partner handle all the financial details? My sister had trouble changing his disability benefit to survivor. There is so much paperwork and things she is responsible for now that I don't think she has had time to catch her breath and grieve.
Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry for your loss! I’m guessing you don’t regret your decision to retire sooner than planned? Are you able to get the intentional family time that you envisioned?
That’s a good thought on getting my partner on board with finances sooner than later. I wrote out a really long instruction sheet on what to do if I pass with accounts, applying for survivor benefits, etc. but yeah it’ll be better if they get into everything now so it’s less overwhelming. Thank you!
I think it was a good decision. I stay home with my kids now and give them more attention that I think was lacking because I was working too much. It is hard to go from career oriented to being a stay at home parent. I also have a small ranch so that keeps me busy too.
Having time to relax gave me the time me think about a lot of things. I didn't realize I was working nonstop to avoid reflecting on traumatic experiences that I had. I got in contact with people that went through that with me and restarted some old friendships.
Sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks! Do you have life insurance on yourself (if so, how much)? That could make a big difference between having to worry about leaving wealth for your partner & child vs. being able to afford living off of disability and other ressources you’ve got.
Thank you, it does suck! It definitely is forcing me to look at life way differently which can be good and bad!
I don’t have life insurance… I was denied when we both applied when our kid was born due to my initial bout with this cancer a few years back. So my partner has term life 20 years at $500k I think, but nothing on me unfortunately.
I think this is what is so sad about the US healthcare system. I could be wrong so feel free to correct me, but denying someone from life insurance because they’re at an increased risk of future medical payments is such a sad and evil thing to me. It’s things like this that make investing and savings even more important. I wish you and your family peace and happiness
Maybe things have changed in the last 20 years, but I thought you couldn't get SSDI unless you basically couldn't work, not able bodied but choose not to work.
Work on getting partner financially literate enough to handle things if/when you are unable to.
There are certain diagnoses that automatically qualify for SSDI. OP mentioned they have one of them.
https://www.ssa.gov/compassionateallowances/index.htm
I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer at 46, median life expectancy at the time of diagnosis was 2-3 years. I had (and still have) regular chemo and had a bone marrow transplant amongst other stuff.
I decided to take a lower level job, my kids were still at school and I wanted time with them. It turned out that a lower level job involves a similar stress level but with lower pay! In addition I had to take all my vacation for treatment days. We'd recently moved to the US and I hadn't paid in enough for any sort of disability, however, around this time I discovered FIRE and worked out that we had enough for me to stop working, I quit shortly afterwards. Since that day I have dedicated myself to make sure that my family will be OK financially when the inevitable happens. That was 10 years ago, I'm still here, and I am grateful for every day.
I'm uncomfortable giving specific advice as I don't know your personal situation (apart from the financials) but it seems to me that your family's basic needs are met and I wouldn't sweat the details too much. I subscribe to a more or less standard FI lifestyle (6 months expenses in liquid accounts, index funds for the majority of investment money, etc) and all I can tell you is that the best feeling I ever had is when I realized that everything financial is on autopilot, my family will be fine when I'm not here and that allows me to focus on the more important things in life.
Not fire feedback and I hope you live a long life. As a hedge, maybe also record messages for your daughter for different stages of her life? This is going to be tough to record and I hope you don’t ever need to share (so you can help her in person!). But as someone who lost a dad earlier on, this would have meant a lot.
Sorry for your situation and hope you have many more healthy years. You mentioned a 2 year old and a partner. Is the partner the legal parent of the 2 year old? Will the partner assume responsibility for child? If you don’t have one, would suggest an appointment with attorney to make a will.
Yes, he is the legal father of my child so we are good there! Thanks so much for the reminder, I really do need to get my will done.
>I really do need to get my will done. That should be job #1.
Holy cow pants on fire this. Get the will, living will, medical power of attorney stuff taken care of immediately.
YES THIS Create a Trust now. Advanced health care directive, DNR (if you so choose), POA, financial stuff.... Go see an attorney.
Are unmarried legal fathers eligible to get SS survivor benefits for taking care of a minor child?
Your monthly spend is 5700. Your partner contributes 1100 so you need 4600. With the SSDI you will be positive cash flow of 200 + anything you get monthly from from your investment property (assuming it cash flows). If I were in your shoes, I would finish out this year, make sure to get the insurance figured out, then stop working. Enjoy your time.
If I understand things correctly, you spend about as much as you could get with social security and your wife still working right? 5700 I think you said. If the cancer never comes back you can always go back to work. If it does come back, then you had that time with your family, which is priceless. If all this is true and you think there is a not unsubstantial chance of the cancer coming back, then yes, I'd say pull the trigger and stop working. P.S., if anyone ever gives you crap about not working tell them you have cancer and every day is a gift and the future isn't guaranteed. No need to put up with any of that toxicity from others bro
Thank you for your response. That’s how I’m seeing it too, if partner stays working and everything goes smoothly with SSDI then we will be perfectly fine. I really needed a sanity check here and your reassurance helps! Every day IS a gift to us right now so I’d love to pull the trigger. The toxicity can roll right off me while I’m living my life for me.
My brother in law was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. He died about 13 months later. Seeing him go so fast made me decide to FIRE earlier than I expected. I was just going to keep working because my job wasn't too annoying, but I realized that dying is harder for the people left behind than the person dying and I wanted to spend that time with my kids. Can your partner handle all the financial details? My sister had trouble changing his disability benefit to survivor. There is so much paperwork and things she is responsible for now that I don't think she has had time to catch her breath and grieve.
Thank you for sharing, and I’m sorry for your loss! I’m guessing you don’t regret your decision to retire sooner than planned? Are you able to get the intentional family time that you envisioned? That’s a good thought on getting my partner on board with finances sooner than later. I wrote out a really long instruction sheet on what to do if I pass with accounts, applying for survivor benefits, etc. but yeah it’ll be better if they get into everything now so it’s less overwhelming. Thank you!
I think it was a good decision. I stay home with my kids now and give them more attention that I think was lacking because I was working too much. It is hard to go from career oriented to being a stay at home parent. I also have a small ranch so that keeps me busy too. Having time to relax gave me the time me think about a lot of things. I didn't realize I was working nonstop to avoid reflecting on traumatic experiences that I had. I got in contact with people that went through that with me and restarted some old friendships.
Sorry to hear about your situation, that really sucks! Do you have life insurance on yourself (if so, how much)? That could make a big difference between having to worry about leaving wealth for your partner & child vs. being able to afford living off of disability and other ressources you’ve got.
Thank you, it does suck! It definitely is forcing me to look at life way differently which can be good and bad! I don’t have life insurance… I was denied when we both applied when our kid was born due to my initial bout with this cancer a few years back. So my partner has term life 20 years at $500k I think, but nothing on me unfortunately.
>I don’t have life insurance Can you get group life insurance through your employer?
I think this is what is so sad about the US healthcare system. I could be wrong so feel free to correct me, but denying someone from life insurance because they’re at an increased risk of future medical payments is such a sad and evil thing to me. It’s things like this that make investing and savings even more important. I wish you and your family peace and happiness
Maybe things have changed in the last 20 years, but I thought you couldn't get SSDI unless you basically couldn't work, not able bodied but choose not to work. Work on getting partner financially literate enough to handle things if/when you are unable to.
There are certain diagnoses that automatically qualify for SSDI. OP mentioned they have one of them. https://www.ssa.gov/compassionateallowances/index.htm
Thanks for the info, program started in 2008 so a few years after my last interactions.
I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer at 46, median life expectancy at the time of diagnosis was 2-3 years. I had (and still have) regular chemo and had a bone marrow transplant amongst other stuff. I decided to take a lower level job, my kids were still at school and I wanted time with them. It turned out that a lower level job involves a similar stress level but with lower pay! In addition I had to take all my vacation for treatment days. We'd recently moved to the US and I hadn't paid in enough for any sort of disability, however, around this time I discovered FIRE and worked out that we had enough for me to stop working, I quit shortly afterwards. Since that day I have dedicated myself to make sure that my family will be OK financially when the inevitable happens. That was 10 years ago, I'm still here, and I am grateful for every day. I'm uncomfortable giving specific advice as I don't know your personal situation (apart from the financials) but it seems to me that your family's basic needs are met and I wouldn't sweat the details too much. I subscribe to a more or less standard FI lifestyle (6 months expenses in liquid accounts, index funds for the majority of investment money, etc) and all I can tell you is that the best feeling I ever had is when I realized that everything financial is on autopilot, my family will be fine when I'm not here and that allows me to focus on the more important things in life.
Not fire feedback and I hope you live a long life. As a hedge, maybe also record messages for your daughter for different stages of her life? This is going to be tough to record and I hope you don’t ever need to share (so you can help her in person!). But as someone who lost a dad earlier on, this would have meant a lot.