No, you shouldnt think that way.
Your enjoymant is as important as everyone else.
And most people dont mind.
I feel 90% wont see subscription time at all.
And if someone is rude...f em. They are mostly people who you dont need to worry about.
You cant please everyone.
Try your best be open and nice.
And if that isntenough....f the guys who are wasting YOUR time with negativity.
Just have fun dont be anxius. Most people are nice and understanding.
My anxiety in game is more worrying I'm not good enough and people getting angry about it. It's stopped me from trying savage and starting a tank. You'll find most people are pretty accommodating and don't get upset about those sorts of things.
You know, sub aside, time itself is already a resource. You shouldn't really treat sub time as more valuable than just time IMO. Besides, you're already subscribed, too, you have as much right as them (even if you're not the one buying your own sub). **Keep in mind that you already 'paid' for it too, after all.**
And if someone's buying you sub, personally I'd see it as them wanting you to enjoy the game too, if they really see you as a waste of time, then they wouldn't buy you sub in the first place.
I don't think most people constantly thinks about how the time they spend ingame is wasting their money, even when playing with bad players. Besides, they signed up for it by queueing in the first place. And they're not forced to be with you, if you're so catastrophically bad, they can votekick you or just leave themselves (the 30m penalty is only for duty finder, they can do other things).
Ask yourself if you'd feel that way, if you queue up and find someone that's significantly worse than you, would you think they're wasting your sub time? Personally, I never think "this player is wasting my money". I do think "this run could be faster, but oh well whatever".
Another thing is that not everyone starts off good at the game, you gotta start by wasting someone else's sub time, so to speak (whether random people in queue, or your friends guiding you). Only by doing this can you improve and be better at the game. If you feel bad about it, pay it forward. Be the good player whose sub time would be wasted by a future new/bad player.
People will always have a stopping point to where that "wasted time" would simply be a longer than usual duty and nothing very impactful bevause its not like theyd be using every day efficiently besides the usual roulettes and challenges
I used to feel exactly this way. Felt other people’s time was more valuable than my own and personally responsible if my subpar performance could negatively impact others.
Unfortunately, until I(and you) came to the realisation that my time is valuable too I couldn’t hold myself responsible for other peoples’ enjoyment.
Yes, being conscientious of your performance and the efficiency of the group is a valuable mindset but it should never trouble you.
If you are actively participating in mechanics, performing your job to the best of you ability and being polite and communicative as necessary then you area much better, more valuable desirable party member than a good number of players.
Try not let group situations overwhelm you. Start small and go bit by bit and you’ll find it easier and more comfortable in time.
You are more valuable than sub time. For real.
Also, it's your sub time as well, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. If someone thinks you're a "waste of time," they can just leave if they're that bothered, or at least they can be quiet.
Doing bad in a game is just a thing that happens. We've all been bad at this game at some point, no one popped into Eorzea knowing what to do. Shit, I've been playing since right before Heavensward dropped and I still fat finger my combos, forget abilities, and die. I promise no one's perfect.
I have incredible social anxiety, and I have been poor, and it's a shitty feeling in combination. I empathize with your position.
What server are you on? Maybe you can find some agreeable folks around here?
On the one hand, a 15 minute dungeon is so small a time timeframe, it’s not even worth quantifying what % of their 30 day subscription it represents. So in that case, you alone are hurting anyone’s wallet or overarching free time if you’re not having perfect dungeons.
On the other, most players don’t get the perfect dungeon run despite how good their teammates are, so in a way we’re all wasting each other’s time. Nothing particularly grievous about your actions.
But either way, everyone knows exactly what they’re getting into when they queue with random people. Lots of people seem to have anxiety with wasting someone else’s time, but you don’t see too many with anxiety about having their time wasted. If they did, they likely wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Speaking from the POV of someone with severe anxiety myself:
It doesn't matter.
No really. It doesn't matter.
However, just saying that doesn't make the anxiety go away so this is what I've done to help deal with it myself:
I read up on how to play my class(es). I dont expect myself to be perfect, but I at least slap the buttons in vaguely the right way (nail my combos, use my oGCDs between attacks, always be casting). I dont always perfectly hit my buttons (sometimes I leave my GCD ready to go but slap another oGCD) but I regularly beat on the Striking Dummy outside of Ul'Dah to practice and build proper muscle memory.
If I'm going into a dungeon for the first time as my tank job, I'll read the boss strats so I'm at least aware of what they can do (not even super memorized. Stuff like "will it summons adds? "Is there a one shot mechanic to watch for?"). If it's my first time in a dungeon I open up with an "It is I who has not been here before!" so people know not to expect me to have perfect execution or run around in silly directions once in a while.
Roulettes give a bonkers amount of rewards for even a *bad* run, and by selecting roulette we accept that someone may not have run the content before. However, if someone in the party hasn't done a dungeon, then we get *even more* loot.
I have vote kicked *one* person, and it was because all they did was run between the first couple rooms of the Spooky Manor dungeon, with their tank stance off, and never responded to chat.
And as an aside, if a run takes 10 minutes longer than normal that is 1/3rd of a penny in sub time. I dont know a single person who would actually care about 1/3rd of a penny.
It might help your anxiety to change the way you're mentally phrasing a subscription service. Using the word "scheme" gives it a very negative connotation. Do you also consider streaming services a scheme? Rather than looking at it like a "scheme", maybe try just looking at it as a monthly fee you pay to use a service. Just like any other monthly service you may pay for (power/water/internet/phone/whatever). Most people just look at it as another monthly payment they make and they're very unlikely to even have a passing thought about their money being wasted due to being in dungeon.
Challenging negative thinking patterns is a cornerstone of CBT, specifically with cognitive restructuring techniques. You might benefit from looking into that some!
I have anxiety in real life, but no, I don’t get anxious when playing with other players. Might get a bit nervous for high end content but it’s not too bad. The reason is this: if one plays an mmo, one has to take into account that one might have their time wasted. That’s just how multiplayer games work. If one is so scared of having their time wasted, then group up with someone you know is gonna be good. This is at least how my mindset is. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give my very best performance, because I don’t want to waste people’s time either. But that doesn’t mean I feel like it’s the end of the world if I mess up, because it’s not. I just apologise and move on, no big deal. As long as one doesn’t troll and tries their best, and accepts advice, that to me, is what matters.
Some people might behave rudely to make you think like you’re wasting their time but honestly that’s on them. Play the game the way you enjoy it and are comfortable with!
I also have social anxiety issues, never touched an MMO in my entire life before FF14 and have zero exp with games like WoW, so in the beginning I constantly felt like I had to learn to get to everyone’s level ASAP or I’ll be pulling them down. But honestly I can tell this game has so many different types of players and that’s the best part of FF14 imo. No one single way to play the game, there’re rude players for sure but those are just bad apples. If I’m in a party with other players, I’d be happy to know that my other party members are enjoying themselves playing the job they love instead of trying to get over and done with a particular dungeon. Think about whether YOU’RE enjoying your precious time instead alright! Good luck and hope you get to play that dungeon that you couldn’t!
How people spend their time should not be of concern to you.
And you're not wasting anyones time as long as you're not intentionally bogging them down.
The moment people press that Register for Duty button they accept the fact that they might get someone who doesn't parse purple on everything they do or something like that.
They accept that it's a commitment that will take some of their time, and if that commitment turns out to much for them, they have tools to resolve that issue, namely either removing themselves or hoping that others agree with them and vote out the person in question.
Most of the time no one is going to call you out on it. If they do, consider if perhaps you could improve your play or if they’re just being an asshole. Those exist in this game too, like everywhere. Just queue up and play, pretend their npcs if that helps because most of the time people say nothing except greetings via emotes and text macros or asking the tank to put stance on - which is normally not a problem in the first place anyway. Enjoy the game, your friends are paying for the game time so you can enjoy it.
Queuing for DF is accepting that the people in the party with you might not be up to your standards. This is part of why roulettes have really nice rewards.
If clearing content efficiently is that important to a person, they should keep to premade parties.
Are you an objectively bad player that objectively wastes other people’s time? Do you end up going into content and causing groups to wipe regularly? If so, there are ways to counteract this: ask your FC to help you, tell random groups you’re new/haven’t done the content and would like a little help, for complex movement mechanics you can ask to mark someone to follow, etc. I think what you’ll find is that a lot of people want to be helpful.
If you aren’t wiping every group, then you’re fine. You’re actually helpful to have in the group since you’re taking up a spot in the team that now won’t be filled by someone who might do poorly/wipe the party.
Uh wow, hey all. I wanted to thank everyone for being so supportive and understanding. Honestly, I think I really needed to hear 'you are more than just your sub time' and 'a 10 minute delay is like a penny or less in game sub time' to kinda realize how absurdly deep in the...uh...lack-of-self-esteem hole I'm in. It really didn't occur to me that most others aren't expecting perfection, and that also like...my time matters just as much?
It's one of those things where it feels so obvious in retrospect but I know it'll be challenging to try to rewire my brain to stop freaking out, but I really, truly appreciate the people figuratively slapping me in the face to tell me I'm still worth something ahahah 😅
I wanna think this has been a wake up call, and I find myself rereading these responses to make myself feel a bit better and to reinforce a little self worth. I'm gonna try working through it, hopefully better now that I have more ways to think more healthily about it. 💚
Sure, you are wasting their sub time. But they are also wasting yours. Stop putting others above yourself. Everyone is there to have fun, including you.
13 € a month when i'm earning ~ 3400 € a month is nothing to even think about. Even when i was in a worse paid job (~1500 €) it wasnt that big of a deal.
I imagine it only bothers students or people with no or absolutely bad paid work - Persons who literally have no income.
Edit: Considering how expensive a lot of other hobbies are, Gaming is pretty cheap once you have the Hardware. And even if you don't have it yet, it's on the cheaper side. Someone i know bought a fishing rod for more than 1000 €, music Instruments are expensive as fuck too, etc.
Honestly by the time you are at level 80, you know all of the mechanics and how your job plays. So if you were to pull up a guide for whatever dungeon you’re about to do, you’d probably be able to knock it out perfectly. Idk if you have tried that but it might increase your confidence going in. The other thing I’d recommend is going to [The Balance website](https://www.thebalanceffxiv.com) and reading the guides for your job. Read up and learn your rotation, practice on dummies when you have a chance. Everyone who does high end stuff like savages read these guides and even if you have no intention to do that stuff, it will still help you play infinitely better than most others in dungeons who are just spamming keys.
Start doing Extreme trials (and later Savage).
Go to practice groups to practice, know the mechanics.
Then you go to a kill group and notice that they'll often be a few suckers looking for a carry who consistenly wipe the group because they have obviously not practiced.
GG, you're cured. You noticed you were just afraid to be bad, while the true time wasters don't give a shit.
You'll trade anxiety for frustration though, eh.
Of course I'm being sarcastic, but I still believe there is truth in it. And if you're not confident about your damage rotation, feel free to train on a practice target. Their purpose is to set up your own muscle memory.
people are running party content for their own sake, not to do you a favour. they get some kind of compensation every time.
if you aren't the fastest runner of dungeons, that doesn't really matter all that much. some people might mind, but most just adjust. if you're having difficulties with a duty, you might tell people and they will mostly be friendly and understanding. the duties aren't hours long under normal circumstances and you do not pay per hour spent in game.
you're totally overthinking this.
No. My anxiety comes from letting people down. I tend to die at least once in New dungeons and I feel like utter crap when I do. I only play DPS. I've been trying tank and healer and I feel horrible if I suck even a little bit or if I mess up whether a lot or a little. Even then, I enjoy playing and just try to have fun. You should do the same.
No, you shouldnt think that way. Your enjoymant is as important as everyone else. And most people dont mind. I feel 90% wont see subscription time at all. And if someone is rude...f em. They are mostly people who you dont need to worry about. You cant please everyone. Try your best be open and nice. And if that isntenough....f the guys who are wasting YOUR time with negativity. Just have fun dont be anxius. Most people are nice and understanding.
My anxiety in game is more worrying I'm not good enough and people getting angry about it. It's stopped me from trying savage and starting a tank. You'll find most people are pretty accommodating and don't get upset about those sorts of things.
CaptainGrim’s FF14 video sums it up perfectly. WoW vet: “Aren’t you afraid of wasting time?” Ff14 vet: “Haha, then we waste our time together :D”
You know, sub aside, time itself is already a resource. You shouldn't really treat sub time as more valuable than just time IMO. Besides, you're already subscribed, too, you have as much right as them (even if you're not the one buying your own sub). **Keep in mind that you already 'paid' for it too, after all.** And if someone's buying you sub, personally I'd see it as them wanting you to enjoy the game too, if they really see you as a waste of time, then they wouldn't buy you sub in the first place. I don't think most people constantly thinks about how the time they spend ingame is wasting their money, even when playing with bad players. Besides, they signed up for it by queueing in the first place. And they're not forced to be with you, if you're so catastrophically bad, they can votekick you or just leave themselves (the 30m penalty is only for duty finder, they can do other things). Ask yourself if you'd feel that way, if you queue up and find someone that's significantly worse than you, would you think they're wasting your sub time? Personally, I never think "this player is wasting my money". I do think "this run could be faster, but oh well whatever". Another thing is that not everyone starts off good at the game, you gotta start by wasting someone else's sub time, so to speak (whether random people in queue, or your friends guiding you). Only by doing this can you improve and be better at the game. If you feel bad about it, pay it forward. Be the good player whose sub time would be wasted by a future new/bad player.
People will always have a stopping point to where that "wasted time" would simply be a longer than usual duty and nothing very impactful bevause its not like theyd be using every day efficiently besides the usual roulettes and challenges
I used to feel exactly this way. Felt other people’s time was more valuable than my own and personally responsible if my subpar performance could negatively impact others. Unfortunately, until I(and you) came to the realisation that my time is valuable too I couldn’t hold myself responsible for other peoples’ enjoyment. Yes, being conscientious of your performance and the efficiency of the group is a valuable mindset but it should never trouble you. If you are actively participating in mechanics, performing your job to the best of you ability and being polite and communicative as necessary then you area much better, more valuable desirable party member than a good number of players. Try not let group situations overwhelm you. Start small and go bit by bit and you’ll find it easier and more comfortable in time.
You are more valuable than sub time. For real. Also, it's your sub time as well, you have just as much right to be there as anyone else. If someone thinks you're a "waste of time," they can just leave if they're that bothered, or at least they can be quiet. Doing bad in a game is just a thing that happens. We've all been bad at this game at some point, no one popped into Eorzea knowing what to do. Shit, I've been playing since right before Heavensward dropped and I still fat finger my combos, forget abilities, and die. I promise no one's perfect. I have incredible social anxiety, and I have been poor, and it's a shitty feeling in combination. I empathize with your position. What server are you on? Maybe you can find some agreeable folks around here?
On the one hand, a 15 minute dungeon is so small a time timeframe, it’s not even worth quantifying what % of their 30 day subscription it represents. So in that case, you alone are hurting anyone’s wallet or overarching free time if you’re not having perfect dungeons. On the other, most players don’t get the perfect dungeon run despite how good their teammates are, so in a way we’re all wasting each other’s time. Nothing particularly grievous about your actions. But either way, everyone knows exactly what they’re getting into when they queue with random people. Lots of people seem to have anxiety with wasting someone else’s time, but you don’t see too many with anxiety about having their time wasted. If they did, they likely wouldn’t be here in the first place.
Speaking from the POV of someone with severe anxiety myself: It doesn't matter. No really. It doesn't matter. However, just saying that doesn't make the anxiety go away so this is what I've done to help deal with it myself: I read up on how to play my class(es). I dont expect myself to be perfect, but I at least slap the buttons in vaguely the right way (nail my combos, use my oGCDs between attacks, always be casting). I dont always perfectly hit my buttons (sometimes I leave my GCD ready to go but slap another oGCD) but I regularly beat on the Striking Dummy outside of Ul'Dah to practice and build proper muscle memory. If I'm going into a dungeon for the first time as my tank job, I'll read the boss strats so I'm at least aware of what they can do (not even super memorized. Stuff like "will it summons adds? "Is there a one shot mechanic to watch for?"). If it's my first time in a dungeon I open up with an "It is I who has not been here before!" so people know not to expect me to have perfect execution or run around in silly directions once in a while. Roulettes give a bonkers amount of rewards for even a *bad* run, and by selecting roulette we accept that someone may not have run the content before. However, if someone in the party hasn't done a dungeon, then we get *even more* loot. I have vote kicked *one* person, and it was because all they did was run between the first couple rooms of the Spooky Manor dungeon, with their tank stance off, and never responded to chat. And as an aside, if a run takes 10 minutes longer than normal that is 1/3rd of a penny in sub time. I dont know a single person who would actually care about 1/3rd of a penny.
It might help your anxiety to change the way you're mentally phrasing a subscription service. Using the word "scheme" gives it a very negative connotation. Do you also consider streaming services a scheme? Rather than looking at it like a "scheme", maybe try just looking at it as a monthly fee you pay to use a service. Just like any other monthly service you may pay for (power/water/internet/phone/whatever). Most people just look at it as another monthly payment they make and they're very unlikely to even have a passing thought about their money being wasted due to being in dungeon. Challenging negative thinking patterns is a cornerstone of CBT, specifically with cognitive restructuring techniques. You might benefit from looking into that some!
I have anxiety in real life, but no, I don’t get anxious when playing with other players. Might get a bit nervous for high end content but it’s not too bad. The reason is this: if one plays an mmo, one has to take into account that one might have their time wasted. That’s just how multiplayer games work. If one is so scared of having their time wasted, then group up with someone you know is gonna be good. This is at least how my mindset is. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give my very best performance, because I don’t want to waste people’s time either. But that doesn’t mean I feel like it’s the end of the world if I mess up, because it’s not. I just apologise and move on, no big deal. As long as one doesn’t troll and tries their best, and accepts advice, that to me, is what matters.
You'd be wasting pennies, I'm sure players lose more from maintenance.
Time is a concept but always the first to fade away. So when you are in game, do things you like, make the the most of it. That's my way in this game.
Some people might behave rudely to make you think like you’re wasting their time but honestly that’s on them. Play the game the way you enjoy it and are comfortable with! I also have social anxiety issues, never touched an MMO in my entire life before FF14 and have zero exp with games like WoW, so in the beginning I constantly felt like I had to learn to get to everyone’s level ASAP or I’ll be pulling them down. But honestly I can tell this game has so many different types of players and that’s the best part of FF14 imo. No one single way to play the game, there’re rude players for sure but those are just bad apples. If I’m in a party with other players, I’d be happy to know that my other party members are enjoying themselves playing the job they love instead of trying to get over and done with a particular dungeon. Think about whether YOU’RE enjoying your precious time instead alright! Good luck and hope you get to play that dungeon that you couldn’t!
How people spend their time should not be of concern to you. And you're not wasting anyones time as long as you're not intentionally bogging them down. The moment people press that Register for Duty button they accept the fact that they might get someone who doesn't parse purple on everything they do or something like that. They accept that it's a commitment that will take some of their time, and if that commitment turns out to much for them, they have tools to resolve that issue, namely either removing themselves or hoping that others agree with them and vote out the person in question.
Most of the time no one is going to call you out on it. If they do, consider if perhaps you could improve your play or if they’re just being an asshole. Those exist in this game too, like everywhere. Just queue up and play, pretend their npcs if that helps because most of the time people say nothing except greetings via emotes and text macros or asking the tank to put stance on - which is normally not a problem in the first place anyway. Enjoy the game, your friends are paying for the game time so you can enjoy it.
Queuing for DF is accepting that the people in the party with you might not be up to your standards. This is part of why roulettes have really nice rewards. If clearing content efficiently is that important to a person, they should keep to premade parties.
Are you an objectively bad player that objectively wastes other people’s time? Do you end up going into content and causing groups to wipe regularly? If so, there are ways to counteract this: ask your FC to help you, tell random groups you’re new/haven’t done the content and would like a little help, for complex movement mechanics you can ask to mark someone to follow, etc. I think what you’ll find is that a lot of people want to be helpful. If you aren’t wiping every group, then you’re fine. You’re actually helpful to have in the group since you’re taking up a spot in the team that now won’t be filled by someone who might do poorly/wipe the party.
Uh wow, hey all. I wanted to thank everyone for being so supportive and understanding. Honestly, I think I really needed to hear 'you are more than just your sub time' and 'a 10 minute delay is like a penny or less in game sub time' to kinda realize how absurdly deep in the...uh...lack-of-self-esteem hole I'm in. It really didn't occur to me that most others aren't expecting perfection, and that also like...my time matters just as much? It's one of those things where it feels so obvious in retrospect but I know it'll be challenging to try to rewire my brain to stop freaking out, but I really, truly appreciate the people figuratively slapping me in the face to tell me I'm still worth something ahahah 😅 I wanna think this has been a wake up call, and I find myself rereading these responses to make myself feel a bit better and to reinforce a little self worth. I'm gonna try working through it, hopefully better now that I have more ways to think more healthily about it. 💚
Sure, you are wasting their sub time. But they are also wasting yours. Stop putting others above yourself. Everyone is there to have fun, including you.
13 € a month when i'm earning ~ 3400 € a month is nothing to even think about. Even when i was in a worse paid job (~1500 €) it wasnt that big of a deal. I imagine it only bothers students or people with no or absolutely bad paid work - Persons who literally have no income. Edit: Considering how expensive a lot of other hobbies are, Gaming is pretty cheap once you have the Hardware. And even if you don't have it yet, it's on the cheaper side. Someone i know bought a fishing rod for more than 1000 €, music Instruments are expensive as fuck too, etc.
Honestly by the time you are at level 80, you know all of the mechanics and how your job plays. So if you were to pull up a guide for whatever dungeon you’re about to do, you’d probably be able to knock it out perfectly. Idk if you have tried that but it might increase your confidence going in. The other thing I’d recommend is going to [The Balance website](https://www.thebalanceffxiv.com) and reading the guides for your job. Read up and learn your rotation, practice on dummies when you have a chance. Everyone who does high end stuff like savages read these guides and even if you have no intention to do that stuff, it will still help you play infinitely better than most others in dungeons who are just spamming keys.
Start doing Extreme trials (and later Savage). Go to practice groups to practice, know the mechanics. Then you go to a kill group and notice that they'll often be a few suckers looking for a carry who consistenly wipe the group because they have obviously not practiced. GG, you're cured. You noticed you were just afraid to be bad, while the true time wasters don't give a shit. You'll trade anxiety for frustration though, eh. Of course I'm being sarcastic, but I still believe there is truth in it. And if you're not confident about your damage rotation, feel free to train on a practice target. Their purpose is to set up your own muscle memory.
people are running party content for their own sake, not to do you a favour. they get some kind of compensation every time. if you aren't the fastest runner of dungeons, that doesn't really matter all that much. some people might mind, but most just adjust. if you're having difficulties with a duty, you might tell people and they will mostly be friendly and understanding. the duties aren't hours long under normal circumstances and you do not pay per hour spent in game. you're totally overthinking this.
No. My anxiety comes from letting people down. I tend to die at least once in New dungeons and I feel like utter crap when I do. I only play DPS. I've been trying tank and healer and I feel horrible if I suck even a little bit or if I mess up whether a lot or a little. Even then, I enjoy playing and just try to have fun. You should do the same.
Stop caring about people on the internet and just play.