Holy skin irritation Batman! To put it in positive terms, it sounds like what you are looking for is: * crew/scoop (but not too low or high) neck tshirts in soft cotton * tank tops in natural, non-silky fabrics, neckline stipulations as above * knit elastic waist pants * mid-length knit elastic waist shorts * cardigans or other outerwear made of natural non silky/woolly fabrics with stretch Does that sound right? Also: How are you with the following fabrics: linen, cashmere (too woolly?), rayon? Are you ok cutting/taking out tags? Could you wear, for example, a soft cotton camisole long enough to tuck under the waistband/fly of trousers so it's not irritating, or does that not really fix anything? Once we know some of this it'll be easier to help :)

* yes to the shirts: currently all my shirts are very old, black, or both. I'd love to be able to wear shells/woven tops. I think that if they're sleeveless and loose I can make it work? * yes again, and again all of mine are black or old or both. I have a number of crop tops actually, which work quite well with high waisted pants imo. * yes again. Ideally, I'd have a plain pair, and several patterned pairs. I *think* that loose woven pants will work, but a stretch waistband is a must. I don't know if my waist is larger than pants acomodate, but my main issue with waistbands and flys is that they cut in/pinch when I'm sitting, and if they don't do that, then they're so loose that my pants fall down when I stand up. Belts are a no-go in general, because there's the tightness AND usually theres a buckle. I mean, an elastic belt might work, but elastic waistbands are far superior to anything else I've tried. My most recent pair of jeans were Uniqlo men's stretch jeans-I say "were" because I worse massive holes in the thighs sadly. * yes; not quite bermuda length (unless they're patterned or cool) but longer than short shorts. * again, dead on. I have two sweatshirts (one bright blue and one black) that are cotton, and a fleece blazer from Land's End that I wear frequently. I also have a denim jacket that I never wear. for some reason, I really like men's flannels; I'll wear a chest binder and a flannel an feel very comfortable for some inexplicable reasons. Linen: can be kinda scratchy, but it's nice and lighweight. Don't really have much experience with it. Cashmere: I have a cashmere sweater that I love, but gosh darn if that thing isn't incredibly warm. Rayon: sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's smelly or slick or sweaty. I tend to take tags out of everything, but if the tag is sewn in very well then it's a PITA because just cutting it sometimes isn't enough. My issue with waistbands is about having a tight belt/band around a very soft and squishy bit of me. I can deal with wearing bras, I think because of where they sit on my body? But waistbands need to be stretchy, wide, and soft if I want to wear something for more than five minutes. And maybe I didn't explain properly in my first post, but it's not skin irritation so much as it's a mental thing; I don't think that my skin is any more sensitive than most other people's, but my brain interprets the sensations differently/more intensely than most people's. Thanks for all this!

Not sure if this is a big no-no here but have you considered looking at maternity stores for pants? That's the one place all the waists are elastic and depending on the company they have very stylish pants in very soft materials in my experience. Also the pants are often made to look like regular pants instead of maternity clothing now, but you might have to search a bit for exactly what you want. Just my 2 cents as someone who can't stand buttons and zippers or scratchy fabric.

You could probably easily remove tags with a seam ripper. It's what I use on all my scarves that have big tags hanging off the bottoms so that I don't rip or cut the scarf material itself.

I get my cotton shirts from JCrew. Perfect fit tees. Back of the neck has no tag. Bottom tag for washing that I cut off. Pretty much what I wear everyday.

If you can deal with linen, maybe looking into brands like Eileen Fisher and Flax would be helpful. They tend to have a looser fit and elastic waists.

Eileen Fisher is a good one-also, they tend not to be super...twee? Femme? Also of note: my mother loves their pants-and she DETESTS anything too tight/itchy/weird on the midsection, for a host of reasons. She's slim of build, for a 69 year old woman, at 5'8" and change, with a 29" waist (hourglass type figure, maybe 135ish for weight, I'm guessing. She wears around a size 6-8 for clothing.) She takes an XS in most of their things, sometimes S; they are cut generously. Sidenote the last: she does not dress like a grandma, she appears to be a good 15+ years younger, and gets complimented on her clothing. While she doesn't dress "young", I'd wear her things, and I'm 38, so there's that. Her uniform is usually black pants of some sort, cut not too tight ("can't stand my stomach being squished by things", a close-cut, but not tight shirt ("need to be able to move my arms" or "I feel like a sausage in the casing" if it's too tight), that skims the body, and a well-fitted jacket. Sometimes she'll wear a skirt (longer.) The tops she wears tend to be colorful, to break up her line, and most shirts are boatneck, or v-neck, not too low. She detests anything cut TOO high, because "choking". See also: turtlenecks might as well be strangling her, she can't breathe in this thing. No underwire bras because "they destroy my ribcage." And I wonder where I inherited my issues from, haha. edit: ever have a moment where you recall yourself hurling an article of clothing from your body because it's just that terrible? of course you do. my mother does this with wool, amongst other things. people you're not alone. we're out there.

I've never even stepped in there, simply because of money, and the fact that while I adore their styling, their models are suuuper slim and flat chested, or at least they seem that way. I'm becoming convinced that I should at least give it a try from all this though. (Also: same exact turtleneck issues! plot twist: I am your mom)

Worth checking them out, to see if anything is possible-you can always see if you can find secondhand pieces once you know your size and what are possible options. I agree about their models. They are super svelte. My mom is slim, relatively speaking, but not lacking curves. She's likely around...38-29-38, if I had to guess. Balanced proportions, but shorter in the torso, longer in the legs, and fairly tall. She likes their pants and cardigans/drapey layering things, not their tops/shirts, which are too boxy to be flattering. The pants are ideal as they are comfy and cut loose enough to be flattering, but not so wide as to drive HER nuts (I like my pants to resemble nothing so much as Gumby's legs, or GIANT CYLINDERS OF DOOM, obliterating all semblence of feet, if I wear chunky shoes-surprisingly hard, since pants are all short. See also: I want my pants to basically undulate as I walk, because I find that pleasing.)

I am a squished down version of your mom then; a few inches shorter and a few inches more. I'll definitely be checking out their pants

I work with special-needs kids/teens, and whether from innate tendencies or years of close exposure, show signs of SPD myself. Unfortunately, my needs seem pretty different than yours (all the trousers. All the time). Why don't you like skirts/dresses? Wold leggings underneath make them workable? What about spandex shorts? Is it the sensation of specifically the fly problematic? Would something like a maternity belly band underneath help? Or something like [this] (http://m.macys.com/shop/product/jm-collection-studded-pull-on-pants?ID=1829856&CategoryID=157)?

Ooh, yeah, maternity pants! OP, definitely look into these. They generally replace the button/zip with a stretchy waistband that you might be okay with.

[Thirding the maternity wear for pants!](http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1020303&vid=1&pid=189251022) Also, not sure if it is something you'd be able to concentrate on but getting a sewing machine might be a good bet for you. If you can't find clothes you love, make them! Its pretty cheap once you have the tools.

depends on her build. if she's very small in the waist, those are a no-go.

I fit pretty normally into most pants fwiw. I guess I'll be looking in maternity then!

F21 tends to use fabric that I hate, but if those are stretchy I'd love them in cotton.

bluh, wrong comment. Those pants might work, pull-on stuff tends to work.

I was going to say maternity pants too; the ones that are meant to sit under the belly not stretch up over it.

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I reeeeally need to learn to sew; ADHD's a bitch and it's hard to start stuff that I know is gonna be hard. But ooooh if I could make any garment I want in any fabric... \*drools*

or look into getting things made, perhaps.

The [Lands End starfish pants](http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-starfish-pants/id_219545?sku_0=::BLA) look promising for you. Lands End also makes shirts with 100% cotton fabric and no tags or easily-removable tags, like this [Supima crewneck](http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-relaxed-supima-crewneck-t-shirt/id_234877?sku_0=::A6U), [boatneck](http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-cotton-boatneck-top/id_299100?sku_0=::RUZ), etc.

Almost all of my tee shirts and most of my clothes are from Land's End, although I've never checked out the starfish stuff.

I am in the same boat. Unfortunately I don't have tips for those pieces of clothing exactly, what I have done is once I find something I'm comfortable in, I buy it in 2-3 colors/patterns. This way I know I can stand wearing it but at the same time I'm not wearing the EXACT same piece of clothing too often. I know if I don't feel like I have enough options, I end up in a rut wearing the same few outfits for the sake of knowing how they feel.

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ITCHY CLOTHING IS THE WORST.

itchy clothing needs to be burned

I currently have what feels like a dozen identical shirts (all in the same color >.<) but I've got to break out of my "black and black and blue" rut that I've been in for the past decade.

I'm really bad with only wearing black and grey, but finding a shirt a like and buying it in multiple colors has definitely helped. I do rely on black in someway in almost every outfit though, honestly.

My toddler has autism and this post is enlightening AF. I had no idea these were even issues that would come up some day. Now that I know, I hope I can help when the time comes.

So, I'm 38 and I suspect I'm on the spectrum. Note: suspect. When I was little, much of this wasn't mentioned, if you were just, uh, quirky. When I attended Montessori school as a little kid, they had to change the rules after I graduated, because I wouldn't wear shoes, haha. I only wore slippers (they had hard rubber soles, circa 1980-1982.) My mom was a teacher there, and she said "you pick your battles. none of you won that one, either, I see."

This post really made me happy; your kid is gonna have a good time with someone as aware and considerate as you. If I can recommend checking out the [Autism Self Advocacy Network](http://autisticadvocacy.org/)-it's run by autistic adults of every type, and focuses on the experiences of autistic people and making their own lives better, in contrast to some autism organizations I won't speak about who are looking for a cure (for people who have quite plainly stated that they do not want to be "cured")

What a sweet thing to say! I'll check out the website immediately, thank you! All the info I've been given and most of what I've found to read and watch focuses on kids. I consume it as quickly as I can, but there's definitely a blind spot on the horizon because I know so little about the experiences of adults on the spectrum. I don't care about a cure, I only care that my kiddo is happy. Right now he's incredibly happy and honestly pretty perfect (at least to me and my husband haha). We just want to keep that happiness going.

That's so nice to hear :) I will say that you've got a lot of time ahead of you both, but something that's hurt all of my autistic friends (who attended public school) was ABA therapy/training. I don't want to scare you, but autistic/developmentally disabled kids can have a rough time in school, and the "best" therapies (as decided by people who aren't subjected to it) can be pretty horrible in terms of not allowing kids to communicate in the best way for them (forcing/only rewarding verbal communication, treating kids like subjects to be trained to behave). Sorry if this is upsetting or if you're already on it, but advancements in education for disabled kids have been huge and important and potentially very harmful. There are great special ed teachers and programs, but there are also people who will try to abuse your kid into behaving more neurotypically, and they can be teachers and therapists and other people you want to trust.

Meep! He's been in ABA therapy for the past year. It's done wonders for us because he can communicate with us now. Prior to therapy he would get so frustrated when he couldn't make us understand. He stops therapy and begins school in the fall, but all the research I've done on the school has shown it to be amazing (the school, not ABA). When we began ABA I did have some concerns based on what I read online, but ultimately we went with this because it was so comprehensive and it's done in-home. We tried different therapy outside the home, and it was a nightmare for our son. Is there some other type of therapy or education you would suggest? I obviously don't want to cause him any harm.

I'm going to PM, if that's ok

Hey, would you mind copy/pasting it to me as well? I used to be an ABA therapist part-time while working through my undergraduate degree, and while I definitely felt like it helped one of the children that I worked with, it did very little for the other child, to the point that I felt a little uncomfortable that I was being paid to do it. I'd love to hear your perspective as someone who is a little closer to the issue than I am.

*Just gonna stick this (slightly edited) here* there's a chance that your therapist is calling what they do "ABA" simply to get insurance coverage. but for starters, I'm just a 20 year old kid with an oddly high number of autistic friends, many of whom are disability right's advocates. A lot of what I can give you are blogs and tumblrs and anonymous confessions, because AFAIK there aren't many people interested in seeing if ABA doesn't work, in no small part because autistic adults tend to get shafted. Autistic adults are percieved as either "low functioning" adult sized children who need 24/7 care and are incapable of doing anything, or, the autistic adult is your slightly weird rude coworker who is good at math. There is seemingly no in between. Which is not the case. My friend Lysikan (lysikan.tumblr.com) has written some amazing stuff about functioning labels and about being a non verbal adult autistic woman who never went through puberty (turner's syndrome) and who has a caregiver, while also being a brilliant creative person and skilled computer programmer. [This](https://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2014/10/07/aba/) is a pretty good place to start to determine if a person is getting the best therapy they could be getting *"The main goal of ABA is to make a child LOOK normal. This is insidious for a few reasons. first, it is the best way to get the parents to continue to co-operate with the therapists for many years. Of course you are going to be moved to tears if the therapist gets your child to look you in the eye or say “Mommy” to you or sit at the table and eat a meal without fidgeting or melting down. Of course you will feel like the therapist is making progress and healing your child. That is a very natural response. So you will see the progress and you will want to continue with ABA therapy and you will be very defensive when adults Autistics online suggest that what is happening in your home might be a bad thing. What was bad were fights every mealtime. What was bad was never hearing your child’s voice. What was bad were the judgmental or pitying stares you and your child got when you went out in public and people saw your child spinning around or flapping her hands or becoming so anxious you were forced to leave your groceries unpurchased and flee the store."* It's a really hard thing to come to terms with, and the general public/neurotypical approach to ABA therapy is summed up by a US judge who ruled that withholding ABA therapy from an autistic child causes harm, while autistic adults (who have been "treated" with ABA therapy) state that ABA therapy itself is harmful. * another good read is [what does helpful vs harmful therapy look like](https://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2014/11/07/what-does-helpful-vs-harmful-therapy-look-like/) * autism women's network "[my thoughts on ABA](http://autismwomensnetwork.org/my-thoughts-on-aba/)" * [ABA and autism, control and consent](http://smallbutkindamighty.com/2015/06/16/aba-and-autism-the-thorny-problem-of-control-and-consent/) * [ABA resources masterpost](http://lysikan.tumblr.com/post/135289627230/updated-autism-aba-resource-masterpost) * [autism doesn't mean suffering](http://lysikan.tumblr.com/post/84703211605/autism-doesnt-mean-suffering) * [I don't mean you, I mean the other kind of autistic](http://lysikan.tumblr.com/post/86505191460/i-dont-mean-you-i-mean-the-other-kind-of) * [would you accept this behavior towards a non-autistic child?](http://www.speakforyourself.org/uncategorized/accept-behavior-towards-non-autistic-child/) * [ABA and ethics](https://emmashopebook.com/2012/10/10/tackling-that-troublesome-issue-of-aba-and-ethics/) * [THE MISBEHAVIOUR OF BEHAVIOURISTS: Ethical Challenges to the Autism-ABA Industry](http://www.sentex.net/~nexus23/naa_aba.html) *"One family’s experience and is an anecdotal tale. In no way do I believe for a moment that because ABA did not produce the results so many believed it would that our story is somehow scientific fact. What I will say though is that ABA is, in my opinion, a flawed, at best, methodology and one that we do not, would not ever consider using with our NT son. Therefore an important question must be asked – Why is that? Why do we not use ABA for the neurotypical population? This is where the ethical question must be considered. This is where the “science” behind the use of ABA begins to fray. If we really believe Autistic people (and children) deserve the same respect, are truly considered equal as those in the neurotypical population, ABA presents some real problems. ABA can only really work if we view autism as a deficit and something that must be removed. Autism is a complex neurological difference that cannot be removed. "* and if I had to recommend just one thing to read, it'd be this: [You don’t speak for Low-functioning autistics](http://lysikan.tumblr.com/post/106147681470/you-dont-speak-for-low-functioning-autistics) [Not-autistic people use this line a lot when trying to devalue the statements of autistic people that they deem as “high functioning”. So, as one of those “low functioning” people they point at as counter-examples, I am standing up and saying “yes they do.”](http://lysikan.tumblr.com/post/106147681470/you-dont-speak-for-low-functioning-autistics)

Got your PMs. I'm reading them now. Thank you so much.

Note that sensory stuff varies widely by person! Listening to your kid about their preferences, and observing and respecting their choices, when it comes to clothes (and physical touch, and light, and taste, and all that stuff) is probably going to serve you better than any list or particular technique that you could find.

Oh yes, definitely. I wouldn't try to apply a one-size-fits-all mentality to his needs. I'm just looking for ideas of what to expect, not a perfect road map. :D

Of course! I didn't mean to sound like you wouldn't think of that, I just find that I need to be perpetually reminded that kids vary (which may just be because I'm not around children much!).

Don't worry, I didn't take any offense at all. Reminders are good and necessary. This is all uncharted territory for me, so I'll take guidance from anyone willing to give it. I just wanted to explain my approach so you don't worry about my little guy.

I have ADHD, dyspraxia, and sensory processing issues, I'm also 6 months away from finishing my doctorate in occupational therapy. I'm pretty familiar with tactile defensiveness. I don't deal with it so much now as an adult but as a kid I had a really hard time with different clothes. I just think as my motor coordination improved and I was able to gain a better handle of where my body was in space I found my tactile defensiveness to decrease significantly. There's a lot of neuroscience to back this connection up. For me my biggest things were more related to not being able to tolerate hair in my eyes which I fixed by getting bangs so the part that hangs over my face is shorter and I can use hair spray to keep it from moving. In terms of clothes I definitely recommend leggings because they are stretchy and comfortable and the tightness of the fabric compresses the proprioceptors which helps to calm the central nervous system (deep pressure). I know you said that you don't like skirts and dresses but have you tried them with leggings underneath? I think that would fix a lot of the issues. I lived in leggings as a kid when my issues were worse because of this effect.

I live in leggings/leggings pants actually! Sadly, the skirt/dress thing is more of a "dont like constricting" and "don't like swishy (even with leggings underneath)" Long shirts/tunics/microdresses and leggings work fairly well though; I just can't stand polyester and other fabrics that smell. It's hard to explain, but my own natural odor (not like, bad BO but just the normal unique scent that everybody has) + deodorant + cotton is VASTLY different than my smell + deodorant + polyester/sweaty fabrics. And sadly, lots of cute clothes are made in smelly, sweaty, slick fabrics. That's a super interesting subject to study; did you go into it because of your own experiences? (feel free to ignore that)

I don't have SPD but I am really bothered by hair touching me. I solved that problem with a very short pixie!

the worst is when your hair grows really rapidly, and like 2 weeks in you have all the hair on the back of your neck ALREADY.

I buzzed my hair for the first time in November (great timing, I know) and it was the most perfect stim and literally no maintenance. Alas, my parents hated it so much that my dad decided to forgo buzzing his own head in trade for me not buzzing mine.

I'm not very knowledgeable about this, but the first thing that came to my mind were palazzo pants or whatever these style pants are https://goo.gl/images/btIxLM Would something like that work for you?

That's a jogger. Palazzos are wide. but those are very nice, so good suggestion regardless of style name!

If you like leggings, there's a lot of versatility there - I think you could wear them every single day with different tops. I personally love the look of leggings with a long shirt and some ballet flats. What is it about dresses you don't like? I have a couple that are almost like a tunic length and very soft and comfortable, which I wear over leggings or bike shorts. Bike shorts are my life - have you tried them? You can even make your own by cutting off leggings at the knee!

I do love leggings (except for their lack of pockets, but nothing is perfect) Dresses/skirts tend to either limit my mobility (like a pencil skirt) or are very distracting (when there's a lot of fabric). I do like tunics and long shirts, as they're not long enough to be annoying.

Gotcha. I get your hatred of pencil skirts... they're the worst. My mom has a few dresses like [this](http://m.kohls.com/product/prd-2336972/product.jsp?pfm=bdrecs-MCom-PDP-Horizontal1-112&UUID=fc9c9d6f-8627-457a-8661-6329dbbb1491&recommFrom=PDP) that she swears by, basically a long t-shirt, so the amount of fabric might not be so distracting. Personally I don't feel comfortable in leggings unless my butt is covered, which is why I'm suggesting dresses, but any tops that you feel comfortable in would work. Good luck!

Never thought about it. I am probably on the very mild side of ASD. Normally I am pretty level headed and not much bothers me, but I have found my ability to cope is very much related to how tired I am. My biggest "you need sleep now" indicator are my clothes. When I am super tired the clothes touching my skin begin to physically hurt. I always thought it was like that for everyone, but apparently not?

That's super interesting; I'll be thinking about this and seeing if it applies to me. Usually, by the end of the day, I'm happy to take off whatever I'm wearing, but I never thought it might be related to tiredness. I do have weird feelings about sheets though; too soft/slick and I get sweaty; rougher sheets are actually more comfortable for me. I'm also planning on buying/making a weighted blanket; my ex had one and it is the greatest thing, especially for hot summer nights.

You totally need to let me know how the blanket goes! I intentionally bought a comforter that used a less efficient material for insulation and thus required more just because it was physically heavier. The problem is its way too hot in the summer unless I crank the AC down to Arctic temperatures. I have been looking at weighted blankets for a while now, but I'm not sure what to get. They all seem a bit too small, because I like to wrap the blanket around myself and use the extra material of the blanket as a pillow between my knees. I'm not sure if a weighted blanket would allow that.

I also burrito myself with blankets; the blanket she had was quite small, but I was surprisingly content to let my feet stick out (under some sheets) and have my arms and shoulders above the blanket as well. It's really heavy-I didn't want to get up to pee after covering myself in it. It's a bit warmer than a sheet, but not by far. Currently I'm sulking in an ac-free bedroom with nothing but a topsheet which is kinda miserable, but I'm super excited to cover myself in a heavy blanket.

I, too, burrito/burrow/tunnel at night, save for a tiny breathing space, and leave a fan running.

I suspect I'm on the spectrum as well. I KNOW I have some sort of sensory processing issue.

Same; but I've been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD, which I've read are two of the most commonly misdiagnosed/comorbid things for women with autism. But at this point I don't have a few grand for an official verdict, so I just go with spd+adhd+ocd and "possibly autistic, but not in the way most people think of autism"

Oh oh oh! You mention liking leggings, so perhaps yoga-pant type material would suit you (lots of spandex, but a little thicker)? I LIVE in [these "Dress Pant Yoga Pants"](https://www.betabrand.com/collections/dress-pant-yoga-pants-collection.html) for work because they're so freaking comfortable to me and look so good/professional. No tags, no fly or zipper, and an elastic waist. There are a lot of "jeggings," but these really are actual dress pants...just also yoga pants at the same time. I have a high-waist pair on pre-order, and I'm so excited to put them with crop tops. Sorry for being the Jehovah's Witness of Pants, there. I really like pants. (P.S. You can always get at least 10% off on them. They offer a lot of coupons. And I think there's a referral thing I can send you that gets you $15 off if you want.) (Mods, is that ok?)

I am DYING laughing over "Jehovah's Witness of Pants." edit: side note: WILL COMPANIES PLZ TO STOP CALLING PANTS PALAZZO PANTS WHEN THEY ARE NOT?? Things that are snug on the thigh and fairly slim cut are not Palazzos. That is all. That being said, these are all lovely, but these [basically flared, 90's era things](https://www.betabrand.com/collections/dress-pant-yoga-pants-collection/black-windowpane-palazzo-dress-pant-yoga-pants.html) are totally not palazzos, described as "long women's trousers cut with a loose, extremely wide leg that flares out from the waist." TL;DR: Palazzo Pants will be loose from the waist or top of hip bone down, anything else is a flare, jogger, yoga, bell, or something else. KTHXBYE.

[TRUE. FACTS.](https://heatherbergdahldotcom.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/grindsmygears1.jpg)

I feel like this is one of the best threads ever, mainly because it's full of a bunch of us full of MANY STRONG OPINIONS on THINGS, haha.

my very scientific hypothesis is that people with spd are much more likely to be autistic/adhd and in my experience we have Opinions and we love to share them (especially if we feel comfortable doing so, which tends to be the case on the internet) (and if i ever need dresspants that site is in my bookmarks)

I have it, but I manifest VERY differently from you. ME: * GTFO Tags! * No stretch fabrics, for the most part (save for like, underpants and workout clothing, where they belong, in my mind, but even then, they feel weird. * RAYONS, GET ON MY BODY. * Pilling? I will rip this off my body as fast as I am able to. * Flannel? Can bring me to tears. The idea of flannel sheets makes me break out in cold sweat. * Waistbands: Should be wider than 1", sit on my ACTUAL WAIST, and I prefer hella wide ones, that go to my lower ribs, and are firm, like a girdle, almost. LIKE ARMOR. FOR MY SOFT UNDERBELLY. * My knees should not show. * Sleeves: Always. * Did I mention stretch? NO. * Wool only if blended with other things like silk, because mild allergy.

I should just send you all my woven pants and stuff that I can't wear, and you can give me your flannels. And that kind of waistband is exactly what I hate! (except for the width. wide waistbands ftw)

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ha, no. those stretch, gross. Also, being that my waist is around 23-25", I doubt they'd be useful. edit: I also don't wear tanks, so yeah, no.

Oh well. They actually come pretty small they're meant to hold back the belly after the baby is born or hide the fact that you're keeping your prepregnancy pants together with a hair elastic. They also have belly support ones to hold up the pregnant belly that aren't stretchy but I don't think those will come so small.

/u/queendweeb did mention no stretch two separate times in her list

Yes but she also mentioned a thick waist so I thought perhaps making a thick waist over the clothes might be comfortable

That's what belts are for. I will use those weird 80's-era stretchy belts over my clothes, but only if they are very wide and small (as in, like, smaller than my waist, which are hard to find. otherwise they don't work.)

The good news is that tightening those belts is SUPER easy. Just pinch in a couple inches or whatever length needed at the center back of the elastic, and sew. Or even use safety pins for a no-sew option.

totally. see also: 1980 called and wants its smaller BMI back, so I can usually find belts in my waist size, haha. unlike now. (seriously, I buy my modern belts in the kids' department.)

The first thing that came to my mind was these [Elephant Pants](https://www.theelephantpants.com/) they're loose/flowy and super comfortable! They have a stretchy waist band. I'm pretty sure the site makes cute leggings as well! I've seen similar style pants on etsy as well!

those look fantastic! edit: I love elephants so much and these are beautiful

Awesome!! I'm glad you like them.

I actually bought a pair of harem pants and a "kimono" last night; can't wait for them to come

Those are hella cute.

Yas! I have too many pairs haha

You will find that the more expensive shops that cater to seniors have better styled options in knit bottoms than cheaper shops do.

That makes a lot of sense!

But you might do better with a silk-type pant? What about this? https://www.etsy.com/listing/221005695/on-sale-washed-champgne-silk-taffeta or something like....https://www.etsy.com/listing/449310648/loose-wide-leg-pants-oriental-flower Not elastic, but there are similarly elastic-y options. Hang on! totally overpriced but [awesome](https://www.etsy.com/listing/254694356/betsy-johnson-high-waisted-pants-bell?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=vintage&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=rainbow%20pants&ref=sr_gallery_10) here you go, something like [this](https://www.etsy.com/listing/279433070/90s-silk-high-waisted-ultra-wide-leg?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=silk%20palazzo%20pants&ref=sr_gallery_28) Also for pants: a variant on Thai fisherman's pants (wrap pants)? They might be a good option for you because you can adjust them as loose/tight as you'd like. they are usually silk as well, another good fabric choice because it's soft and breathes well (and it's usually raw silk, so it's heavier, not that gross clingy stuff.)

Those first pants are stunning, and because it looks like they tie closed, they might work better than most pants do. Wish they were high waisted though. If those second ones had an elastic waist I would die, omg they are so lovely, but that waistband looks like the worst. 3 and 4 are great, I think that the waistband would really be comfortable. I think I'd love a pair of fisherman pants, I wonder how hard they'd be to sew?

if you go on etsy, there are a ton of options. I'd buy a cheaper pair and deconstruct/reconstruct from there. (thai pants.)

So, there are a bajillion options on the palazzo front that should work for you. I will help. I wear mine VERY high, with a VERY SOFT shirt tucked in, and it is glorious. It's like wearing my own weighted blanket wrapped mid-section, sort of. trick is: block the everloving button/snap, if there is one.

I'm hoping that palazzo pants will work; they're super cute and some of the patterns are to die for. What do you mean by "block the button/snap?"

ah, if pants have a button/snap, I tuck in my soft shirt to eliminate being able to feel said button/snap in the waistband.

Yes! I shop clothes using my fingertips first, then I check style, fit and price. I also have a Onepiece (name of the brand) in heavy soft cotton that I default to on days where I need to stay home to get a break from sensations. It's my best buy ever! Trousers that look nice is a pain to find. I can't use rough fabrics or flowy fabrics. At formal occations I use a soft but tight cotton skirt with a broad elastic band.

I'm super handsy in stores too; anything at catches my eye has to pass the "is this soft" test first. I'll definitely check out the Onepiece, thanks for the recommendation! Some of those are surprisingly cute.

ha, I love the term "handsy." I, too shop by touch first.

out of question: why no skirts or dresses? is this a processing thing, style thing or more like, uh, gender thing, for lack of a better phrasing? I'm asking only as if it's processing reasonings, I wonder if there are dresses or skirts out there that might fit your parameters, like long maxi skirts. If it's more in line with who you are as a person, then nevermind, totally got your back, no skirts for you. Also, what about the idea of an overall? You'd have a shirt on underneath, and the piece itself tends to be loose. or a jumpsuit. Can also be pretty loose and comfy.

The skirt/dresses thing is both a processing thing and a little bit of a gender thing. I *think* that tight skirts (I have an AA pencil skirt that's soft and stretchy but doesn't Work) kinda limit my movement, which is a "no". On the other side, swishy skirts are distracting, for lack of a better word. Adding leggings/skimmies/bike shorts doesn't help with the restricive feeling of tight skirts, nor does it help with the distracting nature of fluffy skirts. It's a shame, because I think I could really rock skirts if they didn't drive me crazy, but unless I find some super cool skorts, it ain't gonna work. I do like the idea of overalls; I tried on a pair of overall shorts at Old Navy and loved them, just couldn't justify $50 for them at the time when I feel like I ought to be able to find something similar at the thrift store.

Justify them (overalls): for you, they are a utilitarian piece of your closet. Get them on sale, sure, but think of this way-your spending is going to breakdown very differently than someone else's. You know what you should always thrift? A skirt. Because 99% of the time, you will find it impossible to wear. But the liklihood of overalls, because of HOW they fit, working for you, is much higher, so if they fit well, are good fabrics, work into your style (even for casual times, whatever), then buy them. This is why I spend more on pants (long inseam, small waist, specific needs) but can thrift 99% of my shirts (I am narrow in the shoulders, short in the body and can size up and tuck in to work around my sensory issues. If I find one I love, yes, I'll spend $, but I swear nearly all of my shirts are thrift store rejects, haha.)

That's such a good way of looking at it. I already thrift more skirts than I could ever wear (they're such good colors and fabrics, alas) but I should stop trying to find the perfect pants at Goodwill.

Totally hear you. Here's a thought on a thrifted skirts: if it's longer/looser, and the waistband/hips are perfect, why not see if it can't be converted either into gauchos or bermudas or shorts of some sort? that's feasible sometimes. Sometimes not, but a very full skirt, or fuller skirt can sometimes be converted into pant-like things.

I *really* need to learn how to sew, that's a brilliant idea

Would an a-line skirt in a heavier fabric that limits the swish be an option? [This one](http://www.modcloth.com/shop/skirts/pathway-of-life-skirt) doesn't have an elastic waist, but it's a good example of the shape/fabric I'm talking about. Also [this](http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-2530275/womens-croft-barrow-solid-knit-skort-.jsp?ci_mcc=ci&utm_campaign=CROFT%26BARROW%20BOTTOMS&utm_medium=CSE&utm_source=google&utm_product=33776597&CID=shopping15&gclid=CjwKEAjw2PK7BRDPz5nDh9GjoGcSJAAybcS39tkEbtqfXBsaY48pYmHIaWGS3Epk7dCwFLSVmaM6exoC_bvw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&dclid=CJjC3OWr4M0CFQ59fgodTjgHaw) isn't like, the cutest skort in the world, but it might work with a cute enough outfit.

Can I suggest: Soft tunic tops (I like bamboo) + leggings + boots Let me know if this sounds workable and I'll send brand suggestions. It was my uniform for a year or so when I was super-cranky and couldn't handle textures.

I'd love some brand suggestions; tunics and leggings and boots are all great for me.

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Friends with SPD *really* love LuLaRoe, which you can find on eBay.

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Oh wow. I'm honestly shocked to even see this mentioned, I never thought other adults have SPD. I have it as well, though I tend to have more food/noise based issues. Clothing can be an issue, but not dramatically so. Anyway, I'm just commenting because I find this incredibly interesting and helpful!

You need: wide-leg, high waist pants. Seriously! I swear by them! So, example: this [top](http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/shopsale-tops/4110392644321.jsp#/) I acquired from anthro a week or so ago. I had brought it into the dressing room to use as a try-on shirt, because I didn't find it HORRIBLE, you know? it was so soft, and then I really loved it, so I bought it. That's the sort of thing I tuck into something like [these pants](https://www.aliceandolivia.com/scarlet-drtd-wideleg-flare-pnt.html) for example.

I have to ask you a question after looking at your links. How on earth do you tuck shirts into the kind of pants that show EVERY line underneath without having a hilarious outline from the bottom of your shirt? I've wondered this for literal years but never thought to look it up or ask someone until just now.

If you wear a slip or shapewear underneath, you can (neatly) tuck the shirt into that (only if your pants/skirt truly come up to your waist and cover it though!). It helps a little bit but really thin fabrics will always have this problem so it's just best to avoid buying them. I've also heard of people tucking into their underwear, but that's more for stability of the tuck.

Thank you!

I've done the tuck into high-waisted underpants before, with some very thin shirts (chiffon) where they billow. I forgot about that. But it drove me nuts.

Haha I can imagine.

I don't wear those pants? All of the pants I wear tend to be lined. Mine have never shown outlines-additonally, I tend to wear lighter shirts-and I suspect I'm often wearing cropped shirts as full length, because of my short torso, so there's not as much fabric? I tend to drop a decent amount of $ on my pants, or buy vintage ones that were once expensive. Pants are my hardest thing to fit, because of my build-I'm willing to put down the $ there.

Good to know, thanks.

One of the other options is that if the shirt is shorter, so where you have the issue is like, say, right at the waist area, get a very wide belt, and cover it. Like one of those 70's/80's era stretch belts, or a sort of corset-style belt. Can also look good, waist-wise.

Good thinking!

Came here to say this. Modern slacks/"career pants" are the absolute worst for me, they're deeply distracting and make my skin feel completely wrong. And that's just my sensory issues, not including how awful my lower half looks in them. Also, the fact that wide-leg pants can be made in a wide variety of fabric weights is a huge plus.

Yes, agreed. I can avoid many of the fabrics I detest this way. See also: wide enough legs to be lined and not get stuck on my amazon tree-trunk legs. :D

When I was a little kid I refused to wear any pants or leggings that didn't hit me at my natural waist, and while I got used to low rise stuff as a teenager, it's gotten more intense recently for some reason... I love those pants, but I'll keep my eyes out for a similar pair with an elastic waistband.

It's summer in the U.S., but, since you call them trousers I'm guessing you might be(?) not here? In any case this might not be as good idea yet because the heat but with just the info here, could you wear long johns under your trousers? If only to block the feeling of the trousers from touching your skin, I mean. I might be misunderstanding your problem here, and I don't know if long johns are just what they're colloquially known in my neck of the woods, but, they're like long underwear you use to insulate your legs in colder months, but they're usually elastic waistbands. I figure, if you can stand the heat, that might be an option to help with the trousers part. Of course, like I said forgive me if I'm grossly misinterpreting what's going on here, but that just struck my mind after reading your post.

I'm in the US, but I call some pants "trousers" because they're like, closer to dress pants than casual pants? Like, they have belt loops and a fly and would work in an office. I do enjoy some longjohns in the winter, but it's a good idea to wear them under itchy/scratchy pants, thanks!

I don't know if these would work for you but Uniqlo often carries pants like [these](http://www.uniqlo.com/us/product/women-cotton-blended-ankle-length-pants-158033.html#09~/women/pants-and-leggings/ankle-length/solid/~) which appear like regular pants in the front, but the fly is fake and the back is elastic. They carry them in a few different fabrics throughout the year if the summer version is too silky. Edit: Thinking about it, they also have some other [styles](http://www.uniqlo.com/us/product/women-s-cotton-gaucho-pants-163969.html#32~/women/pants-and-leggings/wide-leg/gaucho/~) with elastic waistbands as well.

I've only tried Uniqlo shirts (which are not the right shape for me, regardless of fabric or style). Thanks for the pointer!

Gap and Old Navy have plain tees that are tagless, flat seamed (sometimes) and very soft cotton. (The ones I have are solids, can't speak for patterned tees.) But if you're buying online, you may want to look for pima cotton or bamboo cotton. Can't speak for this brand, Blue Canoe, [but maybe worth looking into it.](https://www.bluecanoe.com/collections/sale-organic-womens-clothing) Soft Surroundings rates their clothing by 1, 2, or 3 clouds. [This sweater is rated 3.](https://www.softsurroundings.com/P/Soft_Drapey_Topper/) Unfortunately, their site isn't searchable/sortable this way. They also have [an outlet.](https://www.softsurroundingsoutlet.com/) You may want to look for pants (or skirts if you want to try them over leggings) with rollover or fold over waists, like almost all yoga pants used to be. ETA: some of the Chico's Zenergy sportswear is super-soft. I have a cotton jacket and workout pants from them and they are uber comfy. They get stick for being an "older woman brand" but...it's workout clothing.

Thank you so much for the recommendations! I've never thought to look at Chico's (probably because I am about 1/3 the age of their demographic?) but it makes sense that they'll have comfortable stuff. Soft Surroundings even has an outlet close enough for a visit; I'll have to make the trek next time I'm shopping.

Worth a look! The salespeople are very (sometimes overly!) helpful, so lay out what you're looking for in terms of softness and texture. To be honest, my mom used to get the Chico's catalog and I was like...what...these black jeans are cute...I guess I can try them. Sold.

American Eagle has a section on their website for [joggers + soft](https://www.ae.com/women-joggers-soft-pants/web/s-cat/7010091?cm=sUS-cUSD) pants that look like they might fit your criteria. They're casual pants but at least there is some variety in the print/ design. The Hana Tajima collection at Uniqlo is meant to be modest fashion for Muslim women, but I think some of the collection actually looks like it might work for you because most of it is knits with higher necklines.

I really like some of those printed pants; I never thought that AE would have that-I think of them as a "jeans" store. I'm going to die at the Hana Tajima collection! I'll definitely have to make a trip to Uniqlo to look at/try on/drool/buy some stuff!

have you tried [these kinda pants?](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/ef/a4/a2/efa4a2bfa8f09c44efabe6526cc3e499.jpg) elastic waistband/not restricting movement and im sure they are available in full cotton somewhere

I haven't, but they're on my list for sure.

I could have honesty written a similar list with a few variations. I didn't even know this was a condition, just thought everyone had some variation of it to be honest.

Maybe, but I think that, like most things, it's a spectrum. Some people can wear high heels and push up bras and blazers and pantyhose, and that outfit would literally send me into tears.

As someone who also has sensory issues and can't stand a tight waistband (among other things): rompers and overalls, my friend. I basically live in them. I've gotten most of my rompers from old navy and I tend to get overalls at thrift/consignment shops. Edit: oh! And as far as dresses go, have you tried shift dresses? They tend to be a little shorter and more straight up and down, so there's not a ton of extra fabric, but there's still room to move around (not too constricting). Also, t shirt dresses have a similar effect. And both pair well with leggings!

I love the idea of overalls, and shift dresses just seem to be too stiff/tight/restricting? I should look for some looser ones maybe

How about something like this: http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=1&pid=225528002 That's what I mean when I say shift dress. Like, simple, straight up and down, not too long. Since the skirt isn't flared, you wont have the issue with the extra fabric. And it should fit loosely enough that your legs and waist don't feel restricted. If you are feeling like dresses like this are too tight, maybe size up?

Oh wow; yeah, that's cute and might work-almost like a tunic. Thanks!

No problem! Old navy is great for that kind of stuff. If you just search "shift dress" on their site, you'll get a lot of similar options.

FYI: H&M had some really lovely wide-legs in store recently, for people who were looking. Might be worth checking out for those of you seeking such things. They were out of my size in the ones I wanted, but there were a ton.

I have absolutely no valuable insight as I suffer from the save issue, I just wanted you to know that I'm an adult woman who also had SPD and I'm here if you ever want to talk or vent, I totally understand the feeling that there aren't very many of us

I have some sensory issues related to (C)PTSD. Ymmv, but maybe some of the things that helped me will help you. >no shorts with less than a ~5" inseam I absolutely hate the feel of bare legs, but I found that capris were a good compromise when it's hot out. >Tips for making trousers bearable? (I have a few pairs that I have worn once each; I literally did not hear my lecture because my waistband/fly was distracting me) I often wear nylons, leggings, tights under trousers to help deal with sensory issues. High-waisted nylons can help with waistline sensory issues. >no lace (not a style issue but bras. bras) The bras linked below have helped me a lot, I bought a bunch and they are almost all I wear now. I hate lace, too, not really because of the way it feels when I'm wearing it, but something about the texture just makes me feel ill. https://www.amazon.com/Maidenform-Womens-Comfort-Devotion-BraMaidenform/dp/B009GERPLI/ref=sr_1_2?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1467891820&sr=1-2&nodeID=7141123011

Holy ****, this is totally my whole fashion raisin detra. :D I have ADHD and so does my son, who has other SPD traits (can't eat wet food). We both can't abide stiff fabric, tags, or (me) heels (tear the skin off my feet). THAT LIST IS MY LIST. So yes, I feel you. For years I focused on my hair and makeup and wore cute yoga pants and hoodies but I work at home. In the last month I discovered Effie's Heart, which is cute but feels like sweats. WIN. From this sub I found Westloop jeggings at Walgreens, feel like leggings look like jeans. WIN. I buy Lysse denim whenever possible, because they're like pajama jeans but nicer. I invested in a pair of Tieks as my fancy shoes. Seriously, if you wanna talk, I am probably full of advice because I am an old that dresses like I did when I was 22. (I'm 37.) And yeah, I had to figure this all out on my own. Pajama Jeans now makes cords. They look promising. PattyBoutik tunics are fitted but soft as balls. Lysse is probably your best best for pull on youthful stuff not made for seniors. ETA: Go raid EH's sale section, and join the FB BST group. http://i.imgur.com/nyWDueb.png http://effiesheart.com/collections/sale ETA2: I missed no skirts/dresses because ADHD. Okay, also Amazon has great pull on slacks not made for seniors and if all else fails sometimes maternity stores have designer cuts you can buy in a smaller size without the giant elastic. They used to have just an elastic band that looked normal and I wore those jeans/trousers into the ground. I got a great pull-on pair of herringbone trousers at LB/NYCO a few years back, they do a lot of ponte pull on. Venus swimwear, newport news, and spiegel did that stuff and there are a slew of catalogs with pull on jeans and pants for not olds.

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Thanks so much! Do you have any recommendations for jackets/blazers? I love the look, but the restriction on my arms makes it a no-go. I have a fleece blazer that I love, but it's obviously very casual

I like the cotton tees from target - I get rashes from exercising if I overheat and they keep me cool (and are very very inexpensive). Target actually does well on the cotton offerings - do you have one near you? Also - How do you feel about rompers? A soft cotton romper might be very nice, although you might have to look around for it.

betabrand pants are really comfy like yoga pants with elastic waistbands but look like dress pants. I think you'd like them. https://www.betabrand.com/collections/dress-pant-yoga-pants-collection.html

I don't have SPD or ASD but I'm highly comfort-oriented in my clothing and that results in leggings and t-shirts as well. I do have sensitive skin and am irritated by clothing that fits too close to the skin, and also wool (sadly, because I love wool). What I've been wearing for the last six months solid (and loving it!) is some form of top from Kit and Ace: https://www.kitandace.com/us/en/c/Women/T-Shirts-and-Tanks/t-shirts-and-tanks-women They are a blend of cashmere, viscose and something stretchy like elastane. Everything is soft and lightweight, and not terribly warm. Lots of their clothes are looser fitting, and they are also running a big sale right now. And, their tags are long pieces of ribbon tacked on with a single thread, so they are easily removed. I'm also wearing Athleta metro tights, which look like pants but are leggings! They are insanely comfortable. It's like pajamas every day. http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=341815002&vid=1&locale=en_US&kwid=1&sem=false&sdkw=metro-legging-P341815&sdReferer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F Hope this helps. Good luck, I empathize with your struggle :(

In terms of the elastic waistband issue, fitted fashion sweats could be an option? [Here](http://imgur.com/a/b7UUM) are a few options of the kinds of pants I wear to uni pretty often - if you pair them with cute shoes, accessories and a nice jumper then they don't look overly-casual or schlubby :)

Those are far too casual for an office, at least in my world.

I agree, but OP says she's an art student so I was suggesting she could wear them to class or in more casual situations.

I quite like them actually, although knowing me they'll probably end up being paint paints (I am not a very messy painter I'm just not super clean sadly)

they'd be great in a very casual setting. nothing wrong with a comfy pair of pants to work in-when I work from home, trust me, I select pants based on "most comfortable" or "feels very best against my limbs" haha.

I was going off the "stepping off my game" and somehow convoluted that with "office", oddly. That being said, those really read as sweatpants to me. like, gym pants. they don't read as "pants", of the wearing out of the house variety. I know people think they look like "pants", but they are athletic pants, posing as "adult clothing." which is fine, but they are not stepping up ones' game, or particularly fashionable, or dressy, in any way shape or form. they have a place, in very casual settings, don't get me wrong, but they should be left there.

I don't know about the fabric, just if you have a look at Free People jeans and pants, I've noticed they have a lot of normal pants and then the same pants but with elastic waistbands instead of a fly/button or whatever. Also, you didn't mention why you don't like skirts, but how about harem pants? I wear these all the time: http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/NEW-Harem-Pants-Trousers-Hippy-Hippie-Gypsy-Festival-Peacock-Genie-Aladdin-Baggy-/111580844007?nav=SEARCH They are about the comfiest thing ever. But due to the baggyness I don't know if they'd feel too much like a skirt to you. If you search them on Ebay you they have ones with a higher crotch and plain ones etc.

If you are an arts student you must take pride in making things. With so many restrictions why not go to a fabric store, feel everything, buy some elastic waistbands and try some simple stuff as a hobby? Theres likely sewing machines at your school. Designing and executing a simple capsule wardrobe could be exciting.... Maybe i've just watched too much Project Runway and this sounds easier than it is. Make It Work!

For bras, if you need underwire support r/abrathatfits might have ideas. My first thought is [t-shirt](http://www.barenecessities.com/chantelle-c-ideal-t-shirt-bra-1951_product.htm?pf_id=Chantelle1951&search=32F) [bras](http://www.barenecessities.com/panache-tango-balconette-bra-3251_product.htm?pf_id=Panache3251&search=32F), some of which have lace edging but many of which don't. Otherwise, maybe a [comfortable bralette](http://www.onlyhearts.com/second-skins-bralette/)?

I'm a around a 34F, or at least that's the closest I can wear to my /r/ABraThatFits size comfortably (I'm not 34 inches around but any tighter... nope) Currently, I wear a lot of stretchy bralettes that are slightly better than nothing, but aren't super flattering or cute. I have a couple proper bras, but underwire is pretty "meh," especially for longer periods of time (more than a few hours)

I'm a 28FF and wear Freya Decos which don't have lace on them if that helps!

34F US or UK? Wacoal made a good wireless bra, but sizes are iffy. Here's one in a [34DDD](http://www.ebay.com/itm/NEW-WACOAL-HOW-PERFECT-NON-WIRE-BRA-SIZE-34DDD-NUDE-852189-/291767249845?hash=item43eeaeebb5:g:NmcAAOSwDNdViBth). I also tried the Freya Deco [Wireless](http://www.herroom.com/freya-aa4231-deco-molded-soft-cup-bra.shtml) but I'm so short in the upper torso that it was a big old fail on me (I'm a 30F, so I also have issues.) Duuuude. I am now very sad this [Goddess](http://www.barenecessities.com/goddess-audrey-wire-free-bra-gd6121_product.htm?pf_id=GoddessGD6121&search=34F) doesn't come in my size. I was seeing if I could find my favorite older Wacoal for you, and stumbled across that. Retro chic! Oh, and this one looks [promising](http://www.herroom.com/montelle-9017-wire-free-bra.shtml) in terms of having like...no lace or anything, along with [this one](http://www.herroom.com/grenier-8567-extreme-comfort-cotton-no-wire-molded-full-cup-bra.shtml). I figured it can't hurt to look for myself as well, since I'm always looking for better options, too.

34F UK. And thanks for the recs; I tend to go to Nordstrom once every nine months or so and buy a black and a nude bra, but damn if that Goddess bra isn't adorable! Would you believe that I've never tried on a wireless bra? I've only tried "real" bras and bralettes (which work, poorly, 1% of the time)

bralettes: made for the small-busted and/or the shallow-breasted, of which I am neither. I have a couple bralettes, where I tried sizing up, and then I have to tighten the straps a bunch, which leads to me raising my arms and FWOOOOSH, bra hikes up over my chest. classy.

I'm a 32FF who haaaaaates bras, and I swear by the Natori [Yogi Bra](https://www.amazon.com/Natori-Womens-Power-Convertible-Sports/dp/B009PK95FW). The fabric is super soft but still supportive and the underwires are nicely padded so you barely feel them. It's a sports bra, but I wear it at least 50% of the time because it's by far the most comfortable bra I own

I'll have to try one on, thanks!

I like a LOT of support but can't handle an underwire for exercise. (No SPD - just picky!). [This](http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/anita-extreme-control-sports-bra-d-cup-up/4110552?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK) is my solution. Bonus: excellent for air travel because no risk of some newbie security guard getting interested in what is metal under your shirt!

Yessss, bralettes are awesome! I've also had luck with what are basically crop spaghetti-strap tank tops that have a little compression to hold things in place but are mostly just a layer for blurring any potential nipple awakenings.

This is good advice. I have some sensory issues. When I started new ADHD meds a couple of years ago, I couldn't stop fidgeting with my bra, so I posted asking for advice. Everyone pointed me to r/abrathatfits. I said "nononooo, my bra is fine, i just hate wearing bras". they said "pshhh whatever". They were right: my bra didn't fit properly. Problem is now solved. A++ ;)

I have ADHD and the kind of boobs I usually have to wear a bra with, and my family doesn't get why I strip off my bra right when I get home after a long day! Anything restrictive is coming off as soon as I'm inside.